we learn differently

We learn differently

ADHD Gift

In a world where distractions were long thought the enemy, on man befriends that foe and finds freedom and a shiny object in earth rock since then he has embraced the distraction and searches to help others in the epic battle against the norm. And now distracted with Mark Patey.Mark: Testing,Testing were all here what our listeners dont know is were just starting the show for the second time because I had an adhd moment and record does'nt been get hit we gonna start all over with that,Welcome to the adhd podcastJeremiah: How many adhd guys it takes to start a redio programMark: Alright so our program today with distracted I have Jeremiah Johnson myself Mark Patey and our guest todayJeremiah: Honored guest as been we are honoredMark: Put a sir in front of him were so honored to have him here Dave Nielson of farell holdings Dave welcome to the programDave: Thanks for having me I really appreciate the opportunity to be here

Distracted Podcast

We Learn Differently

http://adhdgift.com/


http://markpatey.podbean.com/2013/10/07/we-learn-differently/

Mark: Okay quickly gonna go over for the rules of the show for our new listeners and well do more introduction into Dave rules of the show we reserved the right to be wrong Jeremiah: And we never are but when we are that one timeMark: We reserved the right to then change our minds as we learn progressJeremiah: And being wrong once and changing our minds will lead offense so we reserved the right to offendMark: That’s right free speech practiced here the difference with todays program over the pervious ones is one we got a wonderful guest and then we have a lot of those as the show goes on but we gonna skip our hero tribute today but we will have our uneducated segment and the uneducated segment for new listeners is where we take something weve been taught weve learned to everybody’s cram down or throat written on blogs that just simply isnt true and were gonna uneducate you for your benefit and well being we save that till the end of our program Jeremiah: And new listeners that we would like to welcome our new listeners from China and Iceland

Rules of the show

ADHD Gift We Learn Differently



Mark: Oh you’re right, Yes welcome China listeners and Iceland and there was another country oh canada welcome canada listeners, Icelandic listeners we love you and thank you for I’m sure this has something to do for conference were recently invited to fly out to iceland to speak at the adhd conference and association we had a wonderful time so we welcome themJeremiah: And welcome to Canada or why affectionally called America’s hat,Mark: Oh so just offended, I’m sureDave: I don’t know if you should have say that hey Jeremiah: My wife is canadian so I can say that, It’s like say I’ve got black friends so I can be that or I’ve a gay friends so I can say these.Mark: No no Miah you have to be actually gay to make fun of gay people you have to be black to make fun of black peopleJeremiah: Well I’m half french and my wife is half canadian so my kids are french-canadian so I can make fun of the blacks

China and Iceland Listeners




Mark: Or not make fun of anyoneJeremiah: Alright sorryMark: Okay so for the program today DaveJeremiah: I love Canada, I’m inlove Mark: We love Canada, Well particular now because we got Canada listeners and Icelandic listeners and China listenersJeremiah: But sincerely welcome Canada and I do celebrate Canada day with my wife’s family, I do that’s trueMark: Okay nice recovery, Okay so one thing else I want to bring up is before we get on to the really good stuff, I have a listener that wrote me reahed out to me friended me on facebook and said that he heard about the show from another podcast that do on aviation came over listen to the distracted podcast and then sent the link to a friend to his who really enjoyed the show, And I thought you know Miah it was so exciting to see that they are sharing it and I wanna encourage everybody to share the show if your enjoying it please share it with your friends because you guys are only marketing the only reason people are listening to us in Canada and China is not because were buying advertising there somebody’s talking about it and please share they’ll never hear about it

Share the show




Jeremiah: That’s right, Especially if you know people with adhd/add and who are not looking for a cure , If you know someone looking for a cure please send them somewhere else this is probably not the right place for them Mark: Well if, this is the right place for cure if your saying I like my adhd I don’t have enough of it cure me of the lack of adhd Jeremiah: which is a great segwayMark: Okay great segway to our guest today Dave Nielson owns farrel holdings which owns a lot of different companies is one of the success people I know just when you think your doing well, you meet somebody that really is and happens to be as distracted adhd as they come and this is Dave your words not mineDave: You know what there is no doubt about the fact that I had adhd and its not a curse unless if you don’t understand what is and what it isnt

Dave Nielson of Farell Holdings




Mark: Well and I appreciate the adding on unless because so many people see this is a curse infact I had someone another individual reached out on facebbok and he was angry I mean he commented and says those of you he says I have adhd and it is a curse it’s a nightmare and I give anything to get rid of it and you guys talking about the gifts or doing everyone a disservice and I thought this why were having the show and hopefully and I speak to him, I had a good friend of mine that’s in a wheelchair and were having this discussion about adhd and he will be our guest on the show sometime and he says you know my adhd kind a like my wheelchair he says anyone when I first got paralized I thought it was the biggest curse ever he says but I’ve learned so much more about myself I’ve gone so far in life and the wheelchair open doors I never would got open and he says there are people in wheelchairs that hate me for saying that my acciddent was a gift he made a change in direction life he got off to drugs he cleaned up his act and he says my acciddent was one of the best things that ever happened to me and I’ve learned that hasn’t held me back anything that pushed me forward and there will be people that hate him for saying that same thing as us with adhd the reality is were trying to focus on the positive we all have enough people telling us about the negatives

Adhd positive side




Jeremiah: And of all the doors that have been open for Clay who we know as our friend you know the automatic doors never would have open if he wasn’t on the wheelchair Mark: Right and adhd is different in that we actually see more benefitsJeremiah: I said the automatic doors have open for him because his in the wheelchair Mark: You know if you have to explain the joke Jeremiah: To someone who has adhd who has already ten conversations ahead of what I had just said lets bring Dave man because if you don’t know were never gonnaMark: You struglled in school Dave: You I really did struglled in school in kindergarten they gave me some test I scored the highest in the class but yet they said hes not ready to go on, And I got left behind I went to kindergarten twice and that was probably the first time in my life were I realized that I was different and it was tough coz I remember standing at the chain link fence at twinlakes elementary school in northern California holding the chain link fence and watching my kindergarten class moved on to first grade and play outside and think why I’m still here that was the first time in my life where I realized something is different here and it was tough to get my head around

Seeing benefits




Mark: And as you went on in school learning and listening to the teachers I mean you’ve mentionedDave: Well most of the teachers probably to his day hate me you know and I wanna apologized if any of you are listening sorry I’m sorry I was in your class coz there’s probably some pretty great teachers that just werent set up to deal with my condition Mark: You know and It really brings the good point there the teachers are really working their guts out and sometimes they see someome with adhd and there thinking ohh no got another one of these Dave: I think everyone with adhd probably has maybe two teachers or maybe three at best that they loved and maybe it was because they understood them maybe they had similarMark: Emphatitic somehowDave: Yeah whatever it was but I’ve got three teachers that to me were game changers you know but every other teachers I hated I hated in schoolJeremiah: What was it that was different about those three teachers Dave: They just seemed to understand me and they just took the time to explain things in different ways and they kinda taught the class in the different way and they were really encouraging and they never made you feel like that you have something wrong with you and they just believe you and I’m sure we have all had teachers like that

Struggling in School




Jeremiah: And I’m willing to bet in result wasn’t your straight A studentDave: Unfortunately NoMark: Wait, But of course he was a good student because hes been widely successful on his own building his own companies with ah you know certainly he was a perfect student right?Dave: You know as far as grades are concern and test score are concern they wanted to put me in resource I literally was told you know you will be going to resource no they didn’t think I was up too far with the other studentsMark: How many A’s that you get in highschool, how many B’s that you getDave: You know I never got an A, let me break it down when I went to highschoolMark: Because a level your success in life is completely dictated by your how far you go in schoolDave: You wanna hear something interesting as an adhd person and as an employer I looked for people that don’t have it I searched for people that don’t have it and so I kind of somewhat reversed this, I look at their test scores I look at the college they went to, I’ve gotta turn this working for me, I’ve got a guy with an MBA and majors doctorate I’ve got CPA’s working for me I’ve got people that are very highly educated and what that’s teach? it teaches you that they know how to learn conventionally and let me repeat Mark: And we need that

Not the perfect student




Dave: Conventionally yeah, and it teaches you that they can follow through when you see someone that’s been all the way through school it doesn’t mean their smarter than you it just one more little measuring check if they can follow through they can show up to a class they can finish the class they can turn in the assignments and they can follow through it’s a great way to regroup people when your looking for people that dont have adhd now if you have adhd you wanna fill your team up with people who have strenghts that you don’t, you wanna hire around your weaknesses and if your willing to look to me and admit that its not a curse and if you willing to hire around your weaknesses and your humble enough to say you know what I’m really good at certain things I’ve got the vision on the visionary person I’m the kind of person that can get, I’m a big picture person and I’m a dreamer and I know how to get everybody’s eye on the bowl and that’s what I do but I need people that execute and show up everyday day in and day out and do the I call them the unsung heroes they need to get down into the trenches and do those jobs everyday and its notMark: And your never gonna be that guyDave: I’m not, I’m more on the guy whose sailin the ship and I’m climbing right on the top of the mass and I’m looking now with my binoculars for the next thing that’s my job

Conventional Learning




Jeremiah: And how does it apply to in your life hows that adhd applied to like a personal level on relationshipsDave: Well you know I really believed in faith and I believe that I was meant to marry the woman that I married her right out of highschool infact we had a little adhd moment she does not have adhd shes very organized she got a 4.0 shes really has stenghts I don’t but I convienced this woman Judy to take off at age 18 get on a southwest airline flight fly to Las vegas and marry me without telling anybody Mark: Your parents loved you her parents really loved youDave: Yeah my father in law and I we didn’t hit it off too well at first Mark: The thing you’ve talking about the way you described your wife and then the accountants the attorneys the people your surrounded with are something Miah and I talked about the previous show and I wrote all about in my book addicts and millionares and that’s the equal opposite you have around you because its what it is, its people who are equal in their value but their opposite in how their brains think Dave: They share the same work ethic they share the same set of values their honest they wanna contributeMark: They see you a value not as somebody that’s brokenDave: And you know whats funny is if they don’t if the two sides of that coin don’t appreciate each other for what you are it never works and you cant change them

Believing in Faith




Mark: Right, No you really have to say they even need to step up and become an equal opposite and you see them as your equal opposite they see you as their equal opposite or it doesn’t work because your too busy trying to make them creative and problem solving, I’ve had equal opposites of mine in early days before I understood the importance of the role that would come to me and say I have a problem I cant figure out what to do in this situation, And I’m going are you really? You couldn’t heres three ideas oh those are great ideas and I’m thinking to myself and you couldn’t come up with that what’s wrong with you? the reality is that’s not how their brains works Dave: And theres no different than for them being mad at you for not being used excel the way they can use excelJeremiah: Or your 20 minutes late for every appointment or you forgot to schedule something Dave: The only thing I can do with excel is open up the atachment and read the bottomlineMark: Okay, so you mention before we even start the podcast I ask how you didn’t school on what you we can talk about not talk about respect you you’ve been really succesful and your well known and I didnt want to say anything on our program to might embarrass you and you said education totally okay to talked about it you never got a grade better than failing in highschool

The Equal Opposite




Dave: Well you know I cant say that but I did tried it see if I can get all F’s Mark: Did you graduate highschool?Dave: I didn’t, you know I had work release which turn into never go to school work release is you know you go half way to the day and then you get to take off when I have my own business then and as a 16 years old kid I would go around the car dealerships and spray their cars off and I had a couple of workers and I charge this dealerships a dollar a car well guess what my cost to get sold was water and it was their water and a pressure washer and some gasoline so as young enterprenuer and I’ve always been an enterprenuer always but as a young enterprenuer even as a junior in highschool after riding off everything I could, I have a banker for a father of all people and so he was methodic went through all the debits and credits Mark: Hes the great equal opposite to the add’erDave: Yeah, 52 thousand is what I file the tax return for taxable net taxable income as a junior highschool so you know I didn’t like sittin in school this is before everyone had a cellphone back when I was in highschool no one has a cellphone I had one of those brick cellphones,Mark: I had one of those too

As a young enterprenuer




Dave: Yeah, and I brought it to school and so if you wanna talk about distracted I had it sitting on the desk Mark: Waiting for a client phone callDave: Waiting for a dealership to call me to spray their cars off, If you can spray off 8 to 900 a day cars in a bucket piece it adds it up, that’s kind of my first jump into you know capitalism washing carsMark: And then you went on from their you started opening car dealerships you open quit a few you did really well at that and now you’re a bank now you do specialty lending Dave: Yeah, you know whats funny everything that I’ve done I try to keep one rule and I’m not saying this is a rule that is a law theres business laws that everyone’s governed by right you know but this is no law this is just what I done it I’ve try to make sure that every company I ever started up has somehow linked of the initial thingMark: Yeah, and has a jumped off point it means to somehow

Washing Cars




Dave: Yeah, you know we started washing cars then I started a car dealership and then I started looking at this dealership and looking at the checks going out man I’m sure paying a lot of rent so I started the real estate holding company and I bought all the property and now I got a real estate holding company and now I start looking at this extended warranty’s and customers are buying them and were buying them from an insurance company and not market them, And I go why I don’t I have an insurance company and so I started an Insurance company so now we got the dealership kind to check to the insurance company we got dealership kind to check real estate holding company and it didn’t stop there we started looking at this loans and people were walking out the door because the credit and banks are saying no and I say I can do that I can finance this guy so we started a bankMark: Now of certainly so you learned this at an Mba college Jeremiah: Is at Warton or Dartness where did you help me understand where you learned that business mindDave: The only degree I’ll ever get is if I donate enough money to a college where they give me an honorary degree, I’m not gonna get a real one trial and errorMark: If an education is were, If accomplishment were a measurement of education then there will be a lot of people with degrees that currently are looked down upon even look some people looked down their nose at the bowls of us that don’t have a degree despite the fact that were their employer

Started only washing cars




Dave: You know I think its like anything in life you have to earn respect from people I really do believe that statement to be true Mark but I also think you can earn their respect and I’ve gone through that head clashing where we didn’t understand each other and so once you get that person off your team or you gonna get yeah you gotta win them over and I’ve been lucky and I’ve been fortunate enough where I think I been able to get this type of personalities this conventional thinking really quit intelligent people to understand that I play different role they play different role and once you do that boy it can really click Because you got one side this got all this strenghts and the other one doesn’t and you put it together and you can accomplish so much more so really my advice to anyone with adhd that’s runs a business don’t try to hire yourself that’s what we always seem to do in life we get comfortable with that oh I like this guy he’s like me I wanna hire him, Now what you got you got another one of you now you got double the payroll going out for you again your already on the payroll get someone on the payroll that does something that you don’t that changes thingsJeremiah: I love it, Just a quick question I wanna shift gears a little bit in keeping this principles I don’t know if you have any kids that maybe with adhd/add, How do you apply and to our listeners out we have a lot of parents who listen because they have children who have diagnosed they are recommended Adderall and resource so how do we approach that

Earning respect




Dave: Well, I don’t know I really believe in the fact that we are entitled to having our own feelings and promptings on how to deal with our kids I don’t think theres a keen answer I think parents are entitled to that inspiration but we have a child Collin who we felt was very bright and he spot outside the box in the conventional school system in public he didn’t do well infact they wanted to put him in resource, We moved them out we moved all our kids out we put them in a private school where this classrooms were smaller where they could take time and you know Collin got a 3.8 grade point and this a kid and this is a hard school and he’s in a tough school and its not a adhd school it’s a private school that just as small enough where they can at least take a time slow down a little bit and it change his lifeMark: And I tell you I found for me Miah and I have talked about this before if the class isnt moving quick enough or the subject matter isnt interesting enough you know my brains gonna run off and be entertain in its own thing anyway and so this kids there in a class there struggling not doing well and quit often its not because their not smart its because the class is too slow for how smart they are

Coventional School system




Dave: You know what I used to think I used to have this belief system that if Im interested in something then I can learned it, Yes that’s true because I go out and learned out on my own my own way at my own pace but again people with adhd don’t learned conventionally this is something everyone needs get pounded on their brain especially their adhd brain get this n your brain you don’t learn the same way that the masses do, That’s okay let me give you an example I love avaition we share that in common it’s a passion for me theres nothing greater than being up in the sky and fly theres nothing greater but let me tell you I thought you know what since I love avaition I’m gonna check myself in to one of those schools and I’m gonna go head and study and get my license ans so I thought since I love it I wanna be the top of my class guess what now I check into the school we started the class I brought a notebook I stop to myself I’m gonna be so focused and I got my brain started going wait a second I wanna you didn’t answer this question and I was so focused on what the teacher didn’t answer what the instructor didn’t answer that I could even hear what he was saying next I just my brain was just like,Mark: wouldn’t let it goDave: Yeah, so let me tell you what I did, I could never have passed the test ever and as you know it its not an easy test to passed you cant be as one

Belief system




Dave: Especially an adhd guy, So heres what I did I went down to sta. monica to the school and I said to the owner of the flight school How much to hire this teacher he says we don’t do that we got ten people in a class minimum and its this much I said how much to buy the whole class he says you cant afford that and I said just give me a number, And he said lets figure out when were slow and so he call me back and says you know for extra amount of dollars you can buy a class and I says okay I’ll be there Monday to Friday I want the teacher to just teach me Monday to Friday 8 hours a day 9 hours day that’s all I wanna do and I’ll pay for the nine seats I’ll pay for all the seats and he goes your nuts and I says no I’m not this is the way I need to do it here we go we seat down he pulls out the white board and we start going through ero dynamics chapter 1 and guess what I kept asking question after question after question after question yeah but the funny thing I was teaching my self through questions and I was controlling it and and anyway long story short I didn’t get a hundred but I got 91 on a written testMark: Which is amazing you only have to get 70 to pass and 70 is toughDave: Yes and I got a 91 so I learned you know what I’m not stupid I just don’t learn in a classroom environment I don’t learned in a traditional environment I learned differently because I understood all this things and I didn’t understand the pieces that didn’t connect it I just wanted to focus on I didn’t know so I spend a week focus on I didn’t know and I got a 91

Learning differently




Jeremiah: Because I think the adhd do you mind? What I find is I have a very high degree of low patience when I’m trying to understand something and I already get what their talking about and I loose patience with people okay okay move on I get it you don’t need to elaborate I’m there with you I wanna get to those pointsDave: And you know what I don’t think this is a canned thing necessarily this is for me I wanna know why, Most people will accept fact and your teachers says this how this is and they say okay, I don’t wanna know the fact I wanna know why?Mark: We have to infact I’m wanna point others that this is a plug for shameless plug that’s gonna be there addicts and millionares the gifts and curse of adhd all of our listeners right now seriously go read the best question in the world the chapter I don’t remember what number it is but the chapter is called best question in the world and the question outlined in that chapter is you could guess it based on what teachers said its why, and read the whole chapter coz you need to understand why its so important for the adhd brain to be able to ask that question the challenge is in the traditional learning environment when a child says when the teacher says for example I used the example in my book my welding teacher says we used the welder heats up the metal melts it together and I said well how does the welder make the metal hard enough to melt the metal and he says well it uses 500 amps of electricity to melt to heat up the metal and make it weld and I said well okay 500 amp how it does possible when the welders on plug in into 220 outlet that’s only got a 50 amp circuits and he could not answer.

Low Patience




Dave: And you know what the why well drive him nuts because eventually he does’nt know why, And so hes like just accept it just accept it, and your like dammit I’m not gonna accept it I wann know whyMark: Because the add brain has to know why it has to fill in the blanks and if you don’t allow it to ask that best question in the world why it wont learned it learns by connecting the dot it learns by pulling things together even abstract things and finding out why they relate that’s why were so successful in business and invention and creating because we want to understand why we wont just accept the answer Jeremiah: And I think and being honest in speaking for all of this and I shouldn’t speak so broadly but I think when we make those connections for me theres like a sensation almost like a pleasure sensation its almost like an endorphin its like ahhh okayMark: It’s a drug it’s a need its really is if a student cant ask why and be able to follow the why until it runs out of reasons to ask why if he cant do that, that’s so frustrating for the adhd brain is putting together a puzzle that has three pissed pieces missing out of the box it is absolutely uncontrolably madning we are unable to leave missing pieces in the puzzle we cant do it we cant move onJeremiah: Cant Move on

Learning through connections




Mark: No seriously its and we want Dave do you five minutes to stick around for the last segment to throw your input? Okay wonderful so guys if you have questions do you have questions for Dave you can send them to us you can send them to facebook.com/adhdgift or you can reached out to us on at 855addgift as a phone and number leave your voicemail there and well answer those questions and bring them on the show or will reached out to Dave if you have questions specifically for him, But the next segment UNEDUCATED I’m excited for Dave’s input for this one so the enducated segment for Dave and were all taught and we learned through our whole lives and been told that the following statement is true,Make a positive change and people will support you I seriously think that’s the biggest bunch of all crap I mean there are those who will support you but unfortunately change as a whole is meet with resistance almost anywhere and if it’s a change for the better if its a positive change for whatever reason you get resistance if you are a pot smoker and you tell your friends you know what I think I wanna stop smoking pot there not gonna support you dude cant believe your leaving us you think your better tha us and I’m not offending pot smoker right now a lot of pot smoker thinks its not doing them any harm, and but the point it could be any drug it could be alchohol if you have your drinking buddies and finally said you guys I cant go drinking with you anymore there might be some that respect you but I would not say they’ll support you in the not going drinking with them anymore they will support you when you wanna comeback if you say hey guys you know what forget this no more drinking stuff I’m coming partying with you this weekend they gonna yeah buddy thanks for coming back

Last segment




Jeremiah: Lets reframe the uneducated into different statement that is making positive changes in your life quit posibbly they alienate you from your previous contacts previous lifestyleDave: Well I call it crabs in the bucket I read a book once that talks about crabs in the bucket apparently you put a bunch of crabs in the bucket when a crab tries to crawl out of the bucket the other crabs instinctively will grab that crab and will pull him back down into the bucket and as human beings we often are bunch of crabs in the bucket if you want more you wanna get out of the bucket that makes the other crabs feel uncomfortable Mark: They want you around they wanna keep you there Dave: They want you around because if you, exactly Mark: I think that really is and of course like a lot of our uneducated statements there statements that have some proofs but taken as a whole are more inaccurate than accurate if you gonna make some positive changes in your life you gonna be meet with resistance if you start talking about the facts you will listening on the podcast that instead of focusing on the negatives of adhd chooses to focus on the light chooses to focus on the positive you probablyeven meet with resistance there there will be people will say that’s ridiculous theres no gifts with adhd that’s a curse its only a problem really what your trying to do is say look I’m trying to look at the bright side I’m trying to see cups is half full instead of just focusing on the half empty and you might not get the support your hoping.

Uneducated segment




Jeremiah: I would agree I would agree hence you know I’m just saying that coz your paying me a lot to agrre with youMark: Did I pay you absolutely nothing?Jeremiah: Which is a hundred percent more you paid me in the last company I had with youMark: Alright Ladies and gentlemen that’s the end of our show thanks so much for joining us for the podcast DaveJeremiah: Dave its honestly awesome I really really enjoyedMark: Were gonna drag you back on this because you have really figured out your adhd brain and you didn’t have to go to class work literally you figured it outJeremiah: You havent read Mark’s book correct ? the concepts that Marks lays out on his book are obviously universal principles because everything that your talking about are mirrord and discuused and lay out almost all those points in the book and concepts that we developed as the add gifts

Figured it out




Mark: And I wish we could say we created them but we didn’t we just discovered simple truths about the adhd brains and how to find success with that were just true in all the interviews and Dave your 100 percent spot on you read my book and you will look at and go I could written this. This is what what I had to figure out on my own and the point really of the show is to the people don’t have to this so many people have the adhd challlenge they have not learn how to find the gifts that come with it and they never do they just end up addicted or addicted to self loading and minimum and it doesn’t have to be that way.Dave: Thanks a lot thanks for having meMark: Alright everybody we hope you welcome our comeback and join us again for the next distracted with mark PateyJeremiah: Which will be awesome epic, epic awesomeMark: It will be so awesome, epic we will come up something by next week thanks you all

Thanks and Goodbye




we learn differently

Health & Medicine