7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

1/24

A special edition of The Souths Liveliest College Newspaper

ESTABLISHED 1911, GEORGIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, ATLANTA GA

with

Hell GeorgiaTO

TUESDAYNOVEMBER20, 2007

ONLINE: www.nique.net

All the news that fits, we print.

Almost 100 percent new content!

VOLUME 93, ISSUE 17

Frustrated by drought, U[sic]GA declares war on Nature

By Gowin Noware/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

Admiral P. Nut Brane leads his troops onto the Bulldog Boat. Howeversince Stinky Creeks water level fell the boat is now stuck in the dirt.

By Outta Wattur-FBLZ'BVDFU

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Were consideringlaunching missiles atclouds to force that

terrorist Nature togive up the rain.

Mike AdamsU[sic]GA president

By Yerr Wronge/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

Matthew Stafford stresses out on the show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. The shows questionswere of a much greater level of difficulty than what Stafford is accustomed to as a U[sic]GA student.

Quarterback appears on game show

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It is, uh, honorable

to receive thishonorary degreetoday with so muchhonor; Im like,totally honored.

Caitlin UptonMiss Teen South Carolina

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7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

2/24

2 Tuesday, November 20, 2007 To Hell With Geo rgia TO HELL WITH NEWS

By Matthew Winkler&EJUPSJO$IJFG

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THWUGA: As muchabout us as them

By Ima Jeenyus/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

Left: After years of trying to solve the Rubiks Cube with no success, a U[sic]GA student smashed thetoy out of utter frustration. Right: The student proudly holds the re-assembled and now solved cube.

By Mada Mess"MM0WFSUIF'MPPS

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7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

3/24

TO HELL WITH NEWS To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 3

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www.nique.net/sliver

sliver

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Profs abandon U[sic]GA dueto incompetence of students

By Ima Dummy/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

One of U[sic]GAs top students reviews a Blinking textbook. Many ofthe schools professors are now rejecting this level of scholarship.

SGA vote to fund truckshow has shortcomings

By Lackin Sumthin8FBSJOHBTJ[FTNBMM

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By Roomy Pants/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

Trucks like this were seeking funding from U[sic]GA to maximize theeffectiveness of their trucks. The bill failed due to common sense.

Bills passed Allocation to Farmers Guild

Allocation to MRS Club

Appointments to Executive

Hunch-Punch Committee and Beer

Advisory Board

Student Government Association

Bills failed Allocation to Pickup Truck Showcase

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

4/24

4 Tuesday, November 20, 2007 To Hell With Geo rgia TO HELL WITH NEWS

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

5/24

TO HELL WITH NEWS To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 5

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By Nomore Booz/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

A U[sic]GA honors student demonstrates how he is contributing towater contribution by only drinking beer rather than tap water.

Political studentsform Keg Party

By Pumpin It5JMM*UT5BQQFE

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By Short Sighted/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

The Keg Party, formed by a coalition of U[sic]GA political sciencestudents, will address important issues such as availability of beer.

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

6/24

6 Tuesday, November 20, 2007 To Hell With Geo rgia TOLD YAS

By Orly Yarly/ STUDLY PUBLICATIONS

Who let women out of the kitchen?

)We are a funny newspaper

page 6

50-%:"4To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007

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Copyright Notice

We all know that womenare only good for baby makin

and pie bakinthey canthandle anything else...

Abs HoleMens Traditions Activist

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

7/24

TOLD YAS To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 7

WHATYALLTHUNK LEDDERSTOTHE EDITORWETHUNK THISPOPPEDOUT

Family reunions great place to find love

Albert CohaulicFirst-year Basket Weaving

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BOOZEAround the Campus

What is your favoritehangover cure?

Photos by Rase Istguy

Stu PidcowEighth-year Grass Planting

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Sarah StituteThirteenth-year Undecided

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Amon Golian

Second-year Bovine Studies

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Bobby Ray LoveFamily Guy

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Screw Spurrier

Huntin skills

Bar closings

Uga = sexy

Book larnin

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

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8 Tuesday, November 20, 2007 To Hell With Geo rgia TOLD YAS

tuesday & thursday

This week on GTCN 20

NOVEMBER 20-22

GTCN 21This week on

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mon., tue., thurs. wed. & fri.

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7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

9/24

YEE HAW To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 9page 9

:&&)"8To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007

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Photo by this crazy officers friend George / WHAT WOULD JAMIE DO?

An officer detains Uga VI at a recent football game. Uga has beenadmitted to rehab to undergo treatment for his hard partying life.

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They told me thephotos were postedon the InformationSuperhighway. Idrove up and downHighway 29 to find[them].

Leroy JenkinsUga VI Caretaker

Turf Trodders lose once again

By Turf Ferguson#VSU3FZOPMET-PPLBMJLF

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Photo by Lambo Cowrissian / SHEEPISH PUBLICATIONS

The U[sic]GA Landscaping team fell once again in the mowing contest. This marks the third straightyear the Trodders have lost to a species other than their own. Competition resumes in the spring.

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7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

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10 Tuesday, November 20, 2007 To Hell With Geor gia YEE HAW

Rapid Recovery Treatment.Restore your curls to its natural beauty.

The Best Darn Deep Treatments Period!www.missjessies.com

I know you have been searching for the fastest way to recover your soft manageable curls. Look no

further. You must get this. Rapid Recovery Treatment is the newest addition to the ever expanding

Miss Jessies curly empire. This rich emulsion, made from avocado cream oil and shea butter will

penetrate for a rich radiant sheen that reinforces an instant smooth tangle free curl.

Urbanbella (Buckhead)

141 W. Wieuca Road Suite 202A Atlanta, GA 30342

404-255-5022

Reading may cause cancerBy Pinky N. Brain-BCPSBUPSZ3BU

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Image courtesty theU[sic]GA Department of Lump Investagin and Pokin

Many students have been diagnosed with strange tumors in Athens.Advanced scienctific studies have pinpointed the cause to reading.

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

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YEE HAW To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 11

Try our student special:

1 large 1 topping pizza for ONLY $8.99!Late night special: 1 large 1 topping pizza

$7.99 after 10 p.m.(pick up or delivery)

Better Ingredients.Better Pizza.

CHECKUS

OUT

AT

WWW

.CAM

PUSFOODS.CO

M!

www.nique.net/sliver

sliver

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Research proves coloring in the lines to be difficultBy CobinEgg Blue$PMPSFPSJTUT

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These four images are just a few of the examples of the trouble art students are having in Athens.Administrators are scrambling to find a solution to this ever growing problem among the students.

You fill out taxes,you use a crayon.You fill out a fakeID, you use a crayon.Weve got to get thisprogram down sostudents arent lost.

Albert RainbowDean, School of Art

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

12/24

>!8)6(%!#"

*

#"#!#

!*1

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

13/24

!#">!8)6(%

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#%.$

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

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14 Tuesday, November 20,2007 To Hell With Georgia YEE HAW

'."&"&&,".+*.$"'&$$!'%+$'+1$-&&',0'&-+,'%$'+,+'*$&,,"'&!-,,*+$$-+,*,"'&+&+("","'&+**(*+&,,".'&$1&*&',"&,&,'*,&1/**&,1'&,*,*"!,+*""&,-*+&+("","'&+*+-#,,'!&/",!'-,&',"'*'**,*(*+&,,"'&+**&+!'-$%,',!'-%&,+*)-"*1'+,"'&',!2'*"'&'%"&"-%,3,'-*&"+!1,!$$*,'-1**$*(*+&,,"'&+&&',*$"-('&+'**,$1+,,"&,!*(*+&,,"'&+',!$$*

1, 2 & 3 Bedroom Urban

Condominium Homes

From the $180s

1 $($)$*/!/(!*/!#+)

/%/ 1 /(!*/!

.'"+0/

0-!((,$#&!(.

Discover what its like to live,

work and play atin Atlantic Station.

We are celebrating fall in style offering you immediatemove-in and a choice of one of the following incentives*:

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

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YIPPEE-KI-YAY To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 15

:*11&&,*:":To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007

page 15

THEUPSIDEOFINCEST

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By Bettie B. White

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A gamer tests his skill on thenew one-arrow Dance DanceRevolution:Country Mixgame.

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WE THUNK:

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

16/24

16 Tuesday, November 20,2007 To Hell With Georgia YIPPEE-KI-YAY

www.nique.net/sliver

sliver

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CornerLaughs

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rtesyofWaltDisney

7/29/2019 Volume 93, Issue 17

17/24

YIPPEE-KI-YAY To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 17

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By Dignified Dixie"EWJDF$PMVNOJTU

Soul Mate Mating Woes

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Dixie advises on variety of local issues

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18 Tuesday, November 20,2007 To Hell With Georgia YIPPEE-KI-YAY

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YIPPEE-KI-YAY To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 19

110 APTS/LOFTS/

ROOMS

For rent-Studio apt. Midtown. Grandview of city. Secure Keycard access tobldg. Granite counters. S/S appliances.New paint/carpet. Easy commute toGT. Access to fitness ctr, racquetball& basketball courts, pool, pool tables.$950/mo. 229-343-4904

2 Bd/2 Ba 19 Fl Condo in PlazaMidtown for rent. All the upgrades, 2reserved parks, Publix in building. Walkto campus, marta. $1300.00 per bedroom-includes HOA, cable, internet. Call Jamieat 404-550-7556.

Room to share w/Emorystudent@$750/mo. in 2 BR/2 BA 3-yr.old, furnished apt. Briarcliff@Clifton.Creekside w/balcony; granite/stainlesskitchen; washer/dryer; parking space;internet/utilities included. 2 kitties onpremises. Contact Jerry at (770) 232-0400or centurionfoods@yahoo.com

2 & 3 bdr apts walking distance fromGA Tech-10 th St.. From $950/month +utilities! Off-street parking. Call (770)487-1004 or (770) 487-6546

120 REAL ESTATE

FOR SALE

Fabulous renovation in quiet,historic neighborhood new everything!Steps from Beltline/proposed WestsidePark. 3 miles to Atlantic Station/GATech/downtown. Open floorplan w/newcabinets/appliances/tile and hardwoodsthroughout - $139,900. Julie 404-550-0605

Midtown Condos, Buckhead

Thomes, Piedmont Mansions, & BeltlineInvestments. Parents and Grads: InvestorsMarket! Call Lily, GT 2000. Free GTconsultations. www.AtlantaLily.com404-202-9272

600 EMPLOY-

MENT/JOBS

BARTENDING! Up to $250 a Day.No Experience Necessary. TrainingAvailable. Age 18+ OK 1-800-965-6520XT216

SUMMER CAMP Traditional, nature-based day camp in Roswell, GA. seeksenergetic, dedicated counselors andspecialists May 28-August 1. Contactcamp@highmeadows.org or 770-993-7975

Houstons West Paces is activelyseeking SERVERS. We seek individualswho enjoy hospitality, exude friendliness,

and have a strong desire to be the best.If you enjoy a fast-paced, team basedenvironment, come join our team. Weare located at 3539 Northside Parkwayat the corner of West Paces Ferry Road.Please apply in person Monday throughFriday between 3 and 5 pm, or call foran appointment 404-262-7130.

Morningside Day Out is searchingfor a part-time Lead teacher in our 3 & 4year old classroom. Bachelors degree andpreschool teaching experience a must. Ifyou are interested in learning more aboutteaching opportunities at MorningsideDay Out, please contact the director viateachers. morningsidedayout@gmail.com.

Great $$ Nanny Job Seeking part-time to full time nanny for 2 great 1 st and Kgrade kids. No housework prefer you spendtime with them having fun and learning.Pay up to $15 an hour. Call 404-456-0926or email sdamewood@mac.com

Have you considered a PhD inEngineering and Public Policy at Carnegie

Mellon University? See http://www.epp.cmu.edu

$8 PER HOUR PLUS TIPS. POSITION:PARKING AND VALET ATTENDANTS.Flexible hours. Random drug testing& background check. ELITE PARKINGCORPORATION 404-892-0787.

Tenure Track, Full-time FacultyPositions upcoming: English, CriminalJustice, Music, Nursing, Computer Science,Business Management, Chemistry. GreenRiver Community College, Auburn,Washington www.greenriver.edu/jobs

700

SERVICES

24/7 Coin Laundry 455 North Ave.Suite C Atlanta, GA. 30308 Safe, Clean& Air Conditioned Wash & Fold ServicesAvailable Monday thru Saturday

800

TRAVEL

Spring Break 2008. Sell Trips,Earn Cash and Go Free. Call for groupdiscounts. Best Deals Guaranteed!Jamaica, Cancun, Acapulco, Bahamas,S. Padre, Florida. 800-648-4849 or www.ststravel.com

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20 Tuesday, November 20,2007 ToHell With Georgia FUNNY PAGES

NON SEQUITURBY WILEYPILED HIGHER & DEEPERBY JORGE CHAM

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FUNNY PAGES To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 21

DILBERT BY SCOTT ADAMSNON SEQUITURBY WILEY

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22 Tuesday, November 20,2007 ToHell With Georgia BALL-LOVE

By Bighead Ontop/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

A U[sic]GA player goes for a tackle against Tech. Because of the size of his head, he is unable to fit ahelmet of regulation size during the game. Still, the coaches claim that there is little to no brain damage.

Inbreeding leads to better MLBs

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Moreno admits toheavy steroid use

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Oh, you know howI am so good. Its acombination of hardwork, dedication,and large amountsof steroids.

Knowshon Moreno

Freshman Running Back

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BALL-LOVE To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007 23

NIGHT

ONE

STAND

freShGA andRamblin Nights

Presents

December 7th

10pm - 4am@ the CRC

Featured Events:Dodgeball, Flag Football,Poker, Halo3, Ultimate,

3 on 3 basketball, Indoor Soccer,

Team Trivia, and more!

Prizes Include:iPods, Digital Cameras,

LCD TVs, and thousands in gift

cirtificates to local businesses!

Lots to do:Rock wall open, 10pm movie in the

pool, water slide open, door prizes,

DJs, free t-shirts, free pizza and

drinks...

For More Information and to

Register Online Today Visit

www.ons.gatech.edu

By Richie Rich/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

A wide receiver brings some money right to the administration. Themoney he is carrying is only enough to cover his fines for one month.

Players try to avoid fines

By Mo Money.P1SPCMFNT

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By Busta Move/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

#BTLFUCBMMTOFXEFGFOTJWFTDIFNF8JUIDPOWFOUJPOBMTDIFNFTGBJMJOHUPTUPQBOZPOFB6("QMBZFSUSJFTBIBOETUBOE

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24 Tuesday, November 20,2007 ToHell With Georgia BALL-LOVEThe Most Important Page

#"---07&To Hell With Georgia Tuesday, November 20, 2007

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By Mr. Ordinary / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

All week long U[sic]GA has been preparing for Michael Vick.Although the rumor is false U[sic]GA refuses to be fooled.

Rumors of Vicks return worries the DawgsBy Cat Lover

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By Sub Zero/ F INISHHIM!!!

Herschel Walker and John Heisman prepare for their epic fight against each other. Heisman hasbeen resurrected from the dead to defend his trophy from the likes of Walker and Steve Spurrier.

Heisman comes back to life for fight

By Joe Mama;PNCJF.BO

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I heard...that Vickwould be joiningTechs team. Withthis information, Iwill be revampingour plan...

Mark RichtGeorgia Head Coach