Valentine’s  Day  2015  -­‐  An  observation  of  The  Heart,  Mature  Love  and  Emotional  Capital    AB022015  This  year,  I  decided  to  send  an  observation  message  VS  the  typical  cute  picture  everyone  shares  of  a  darling  Cupid  “wishing  you  a  Happy  Valentine’s  Day”  from  XYZ…    While  my  observation  may,  or  may  not  be  received  as  “equitable”,  it  serves  not  to  offend  anyone  but  merely  as  “food  for  thought”  in  a  world  that  could  always  use  a  little  more  Heart,  Mature  Love  and  Emotional  Capital.    

It  is  fascinating  to  learn  what  happens  when  one  experiences  true,  mature  love  or  a  feeling  of  acceptance  by  people  closest  or  important  to  them.  What  happens  when  one  experiences  a  sense  of  connection  and  belonging.  I  define  the  heart,  mature  love  and  emotional  capital  in  a  relationship  as  the  sharing  an  exchange  of  pure  energy  and  a  deep  connection  of  a  flowing  bond  communicated  with  words,  with  the  body,  with  the  mind-­‐  heart  and  soul-­‐  pure  energy,  absolutely  true  and  part   of   this   world.   It   is   fantastic   and   real.   Mature   love   is   more   complex   than   writing   a   symphony.   It   is   an   exchange   of   pure   energy,   emotionally   vested   and  committed  to  staying  connected  to  that  deep  bond  with  one  another  that  has  driven  the  evolution  of  the  human  heart  and  mature  love  to  be  the  most  complex  “anything”  in  all  of  existence.    

Some  might  argue  that  “love”  is  merely  an  imagined  sensation  with  no  connection  to  the  heart-­‐  rather  a  chemical  cocktail  of  neurotransmitters1  where  adrenaline,  dopamine,  serotonin,  oxytocin  and  vasopressin  all  entertain   for  a  short  period  of   time  the   limbic  cortex,  nothing  more.  While  all  play  a  part,  new  neuroscience,  research  reveals,  love  is  in  the  heart.  That  the  heart  is  more  than  a  ten-­‐ounce  muscle  only  serving  to  pump  blood  and  maintain  circulation.  The  heart  also  serves  as  a  hormonal  gland,  manufacturing  and  secreting  numerous  hormones  and  neurotransmitters  that  profoundly  affect  emotion,  the  brain  and  body  function.      

New  scientific  evidence  confirms  that  the  heart  is  responsible  for  feelings  and  emotions.  It  uses  neurological,  biochemical  and  biophysical  ways  to  send  emotional  and   intuitive  signals   to  our  brain.  Electrophysiological  studies  have   indicated  that  the  heart  appears  to  play  a  key  role   in  emotional  capital  and   intuition.   In   fact,  scientists  are  now  discovering  that  the  heart  may  be  the  actual  intelligent  force,  which  is  behind  the  intuitive  thoughts,  feelings  and  emotions  experienced  by  us.  As  new  discoveries  prove  the  heart  has  direct  links  to  the  “intelligence”  force,  we  have  a  new  window  into  understanding  our  emotions.  In  fact,  emotions  of  love  are  connected  with  the  rhythm  of  the  heart.      

The  heart  has  been  referred  to  as  a  source  of  love  and  virtue  for  many  centuries.  It  is  recognized  as  the  source  of  intelligence  by  Hebrew,  Christian,  Hindu,  Chinese  and  Islamic  traditions.  We  often  talk  about  “following  the  heart”,  but  it  is  only  recently  that  scientists  have  begun  to  show  that  there  is  literal  truth  in  the  cliché;  that  the   throbbing   lump   of   muscle   absolutely   contributes   to   our   emotions   and   the   mysterious   feelings   of   love   in   a   very   real   way.   While   the   heart   is   certainly   a  remarkable  pump,   intriguingly,  new  scientific   research  has  begun   to  provide   real  evidence   that  many  of   these   long-­‐surviving  historical  associations  may  well  be  more  than  simply  metaphorical.  Research  has  also  shown  that  the  heart   is  a  key  component  of  the  emotional  system.  Science  has  only  begun  to  understand  the  effects  of  the  electromagnetic  fields  produced  by  the  heart.  That  it  not  only  responds  to  emotion  but  that  it  signals  rhythmic  activity  that  actually  play  a  major  role  synchronizing  in  determining  the  quality  of  our  loving  and  emotional  experience  from  moment  to  moment.      

The  ancient  practices  of  yoga,  acupuncture,  reflexology,  etc.  and  the  not  so  ancient  practices  of  reiki,  iridology,  demonstrate  the  interconnectivity  of  all  parts  of  the  body/mind  systems.  It  never  ceases  to  amaze  me,  that  many  ancient  wisdoms  are  only  now  being  'rediscovered'  by  modern  science.  New  research  is  reinforcing  these  ideas,  which  actually  go  back  to  ancient  times,  and  demonstrate  the  interconnectivity  with  all  parts  of  our  existence.  Now  that  I  have  shared  my  thoughts,  I  offer  a  Valentine  blessing,  symbolizing  what  the  value  of  love  means  to  me.  That  you  each  have  or  find  true,  mature  love  in  your  life.    

Saint   Valentine’s   Day,   aka   Valentine’s   Day   or   the   Feast   of   Saint   Valentine,   is   observed   on   February   14   and   is   celebrated   worldwide,   although   not   an   official  “Holiday”-­‐  While   the  origins  of   the  celebratory  occasion  did  not  have  any   romantic   connotations  until   the  high  middle  Ages,   it  eventually  evolved   into  a  day  of  honoring  loved  ones.    

When   emotions   of   true,  mature   love  manifest   themselves,   the   effects   can   be   very   powerful.  When   you   truly   love   someone,   you   are   emotionally   vested.   You  integrate  that  special  person  into  the  very  fiber  of  your  existence.  When  you  are  emotionally  vested,  you  work  at  the  partnership-­‐  it  is  an  emotional  investment  of  a  lifelong  partnership  requiring  work  and  commitment,  honesty  and  trust.  

Even  from  a  distance,  you  remain  committed,  supportive  and  caring.  You  each  bring  your  individual  influences  to  the  relationship  like  a  spiritual  awakening  where  an  emotional  ballet  takes  flight.  You  think  about  them,  you  carry  them  in  your  heart;  they  become  a  special  part  of  you  whether  you  are  in  the  same  room,  or  a  million  miles  away.  You  help  them  do  things,  solve  problems,  grow,  evolve,  communicate  and  exist  along  with  you.  Recognize  however,  that  everyone  comes  with  baggage-­‐  if  you  truly  love  someone,  help  him  or  her  unpack…    

True   love   is   vulnerable.   Embrace   vulnerability,   it   is  what   allows   true   love   to   enter   your   life.   The  willingness   to   say   I   love   you   first,   to   invest   your   heart   into   a  relationship  with  no  guarantees,  the  courage  to  be  imperfect,  the  compassion  to  be  kind,  the  connection  as  a  result  of  authenticity  of  choice  that  the  whole-­‐hearted  worthiness  holds-­‐  a  strong  sense  of  loving  and  belonging,  of  trust  above  all.  

True   love  equals  confidence   in  your   love   for  one  another.  You   think   together  yet   respect  each  other’s   individuality  and  can  agree   to  disagree.  You   find  ways   to  embrace  your  very  different  backgrounds,  different  disciplines,  different  ways  of  thinking,  different  experiences-­‐  it  is  through  true  love  and  passionate  devotion  that  you  can  engage  in  constructive  conflict  while  maintaining  respect,  love,  and  heart  for  one  another.      When  you   truly   love  someone,  you  behave  responsibly.  You  remain  exclusively   intimate.  You  don’t   stray…  You  share  a  special  bond  and  connection.  Recognize,  cherish  and  respect  true,  mature  love  (emotional  capital)…  it  is  a  rare  gift  and  a  real  tragedy  to  abandon  or  squander.    

1-­‐  Research  reference  for  technical  components  of  this  article:  scientificamerican.com  –  AB2015