understanding transference
DESCRIPTION
Looking at the mechanisms involved in psychological transferenceTRANSCRIPT
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WITHOUT BEING AWARE OF IT we may transfer to another
person emotions & responses we once had towards someone
else – this process is appropriately called “Transference”…
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The our unconscious mind serves a useful purpose (freeing
the conscious mind for other tasks) but it also creates problems
in our relationship through …
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Eventually we
figure out the
best ways to
deal with those
big people who
had all the
power…
FIGHT
FREEZE
FLIGHT
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When we face
power as
adults, we tend
to use those
ways of
relating that
worked before The awareness of
TRANSFERENCE
provides a key to
understanding both
ourselves and
others in almost
every relationship
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When our parents refused to „give into us‟
(when they‟ve reached their limit) then …
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“Surprisingly, people who have had parents who were“easy” on them may sometimes be attracted to those whoare demanding -- Because such persons seem to providestructure that was missing in childhood.”
“The person with an over-demanding parent may beattracted to a person who seems “spontaneous” and lessrigid.”
Most commonly without realizing it, werepeat the familiar patterns of childhood
L. Crabb (2003). Soul Talk, p. 124.
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Power struggles come
about especially when
each person has transference
to the other, and uses
seemingly “logical”
(but childish) manoeuvres
in a power situation…
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SO HOW DO WE AVOID THE “POWER
STRUGGLES” THAT TRANSFERENCE
SEEMS TO PROVOKE?
Is it possible to act differently in a more
proactive way (creatively) to side-step the
„conflictual‟ stance…
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Instead of power
struggles…. in which
each person tries to
“be somebody” at a
cost to the other — we
form a
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We choose to move
away from the power
struggle…. and
towards a creative
relationship, where we:
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PERSONAL EXAMPLE from last time….
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NEXT TIME: