The Good, The Bad, and The Uglacy…Chapter 2, Red Plumbobs For Everyone

by Candi0207

Welcome back to my little Uglacy, the goal is to get as ugly a sim as I can in 10 generationsof Legacy living. Quick Recap, Ben Cartwright founds the Ponderosa, gets himself a horse,becomes a horse trainer, gets a dog, builds a house, marries Dorothy the ugly newspapergirl, and knocks her up with twins…

Any Questions? Okay, lets get started…

So Twin # 1, Hoss Cartwright. (Of the Ponderosa) He randomly got discipline, loves the outdoors, likes country music (Yes! It was random) grilled salmon, and the color white.

Ignore the red plumbobs, I do.

Next up, Victoria. (Named for Victoria Barkley of the old western TV show, Big Valley). She’s athletic and insane, likes autumn salads and french music (oh give me a break), and her favorite color is spiceberry.

Little weirdo like her mother.

Ben and Dorothy are not the only ones with a new arrival, meet Patches.

The awwwing and eeewing may now commence. Athena and Mosey apparentlyfigured out how to get in their stall. Patches is playful, untrained, and friendly.He’s a nicer combination than any sims I have. And he’s so darn cute!

Just another adorable picture of Patches, because frankly, I don’t wantto return to the house. Let’s just look at the baby horse for a while…

“Why did you have to have fertility treatments, Ben! Wasn’t one baby enough?All these stupid things do is eat, poop, and scream!”

“Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, I can’t help it I’m a studly man.”

“I should have thrown those newspapers and ran!”

This is Dorothy’s face when I told her to pick the baby up. I think it says it all.

“I hate my life, I really, really hate my life.”

Ben is not doing any better than Dorothy.How red can you go…how red can you go…

Born freee, as free as the wind blows…

Mosey, knock that crap off right now. Ben and Dorothy do not need to see that. Horse parents have it made.

“Maybe she wouldn’t notice if I slipped off this lot. I could get glitched in thetrees again…”

Fat Chance, Dorothy.

“Let me tell you, this legacy living is for the birds! What the hellwas I thinking? Do you think I get to work on my lifetime want toGet to level 5 of 4 careers?! Why I haven’t even had one career yet!Now I got two little brats that pee, and poop, and eat, and poop…”

“Miss, please, are you going to order a pizza or not?”

“I’m outta here.”

Actually, she’s finally starting a job as a rabid fan in the athleticfield. It wasn’t like she was doing much mothering, anyways.

Oh baby swings, how I love thee, let me count the ways…

They comatose the baby and all it’s drastically dropping needs.Why they’re like real baby swings, shove the kid in, turn it on, andinstant babysitter. Not that I ever did that of course, but I mean you could.

So I didn’t realize this till later, but Victoria turned into a toddler, a completely socially neglected toddler. And she’s bald.

Happy Birthday Kid!

Let’s take an even bigger view, shall we. I tried many times to have Dorothy interactwith Victoria, but apparently she would rather pet the dog.

Hoss grew up too, not quite as badly as Victoria but not great either. I never claimedto be good at this.

Things were not going so well for Ben either…

“GET OFF OF MY BACK! I’m starving!”

“Mosey, nooo, I got to get to the race to feed my family.”

“Well maybe you should have fed me first, buster.”

“You want me to go to Egypt to buy a recipe… are you fricking kiddingme?! Like I can go to Egypt and buy a stupid recipe, I’ve got $23.00 to my name and the twins from hell. Buzz off!”

Needless to say, we skip a lot of opportunities.

“Arrrgh… I can’t take anymore! Just stick me in the sim bin, please!”

“Hee, hee, daddy funny. Do that again!”

“Don’t help me or anything, Dorothy.”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t. I’m tired, all that rabid fan stuff wore me out. Havefun with the twins, dear, I’m going to bed.”

Dorothy really, really sucks as a mom, and I am not just adding that for fun value. Poor Ben practically does everything, he’s a regular Mr. Mom.

Meanwhile, out in the pasture…

“I love you mommy.”

“I love you more, Patches.”

“You’re the best mommy in the whole horse mommy world…”

Well at least someone has a happy childhood and green plumbobs.

“Hey Old Yellar, let’s play some fetch…”

“Excuse me, missy, but are those screaming babies I hear inside the house?I could hear them from two blocks away.”

“No, I don’t have any kids… oh wait, maybe I do.”

“So Patches, I’ve heard of wolves raising children. Do you think if I stick the kids in your momma’s stall, she’d take care of them.”

“Oh crap, I must have put that electric collar on way too high!”

Don’t be silly, Ben. Old Yellow is just Older Old Yellow now.

“I am so tired, I can’t even see… and I’m starving… and I gotta pee.Where the hell is that wife of mine.”

Sleeping heavily and ignoring everything.

“Hahaha, time to plot some evil plans…”

“Dorothy, I need to train the horses, can you play with the kids for justa little while.”

“What part of evil plans do you not understand Ben? World dominationrequires my full focus.”

This may seem like a random picture, however it is the only birthday pictureI have of Ben becoming an adult from a young adult. Why he chose to have hisparty on the front steps of his house is beyond me. The random kid is a babysitterand the only one to attend the party. Probably because we paid him.

Sucked? Well yea.

And just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse…

“Did you forget something? Yea, Sims Rent To Own, isn’t too happy with you!”

“Can I pay with the kids?”

“Hahaha, I am taking your ugly ass art work and your easel, so you cannever paint again!”

“Uh, ok.”

“But that’s not all, for the accrued interest, I’m taking your bedside lantern too… muhahaha!”

Yea, gosh, that really hurt us. However will we survive?

“I can’t believe he took the lantern too.”

Oh come on Ben, that lantern was ugly. And we can buy another one. One day.When we have money.

“Well maybe if I could actually race my horses.”

Yeah and if your wife would actually take care of kids… oh dreams… we all have them.

“WAAAAAHHH, who is this scary lady?”

Stop giving me that look, Dorothy, you are going to take care of these kids at least once so Ben can race. Even if I have to turn your free will off… don’t makeme do it…*clicking options*

Finally! We were so broke at this point, Ben had to race to put food onthe table. Mosey wins the Twinbrook Derby. Ben is now racing inadvance races and had been promoted to “Consistently Upright Rider”.

No more shoveling poop and grooming horses for him. He advances closer tohis lifetime want to be a level 10 rider and win $40,000. At this rate, he willsee his lifetime want before he’s old, unless Dorothy continues to foil his plans.

“You’re kidding me, mommy left you hungry, in a dirty diaper, and went to bed.ARRRGH!”

Poor Ben, note the tip of his red plumbob. He comes home exhausted and hasto care for the twins. True story there.

Ben nearly starves to death, and only then do I realize the culprit. These travelinggnomes that pop up everywhere in the house, and in really bad places like infront of the refrigerator or the toilet. I think they are some sort of reward, but since I am such a bad sim player, perharps they are just random.

Still I have quite the collection every day, and these things sell for like $ 900 to1500 apiece. Really, gnomes? Who knew. As far as I can see, there are no legacy rules against selling them, but I feel a bit like it’s cheating.

Not that I didn’t totally do it.

Ben does get to meet Don down at the Pony Grounds, or whatever it’s called.Don, however, has become a celebrity, which is gaming imitating gaming… Ithink. Anyway, he was kind of a snob, which is so unlike Don.

But I force Ben to buddy up to him and earn a celebrity star.

Ben also meets Isaiah, which is apparently Don and Samara’s son. Butright after meeting him, we get an alert (I do have Twallan’s mod to helpthe town run smoothly) that says Isaiah died… as a child apparently.

I wonder why. Sim kids rarely just die. It really bugs me, so much I contemplate leaving the lot and going to Don’s house and seeing the ghost. However, that would screw up all the lifetime wishes and wants, blah, blah, blah, against the rules, so I don’t.

“Howdy, ugly little girl.”

Also Ben meets this kid, Janette Fox-Robles, who I highly suspect is an illegitimate child of Gage. I might have had him have an affair with her mother before I started playing the legacy family… and he might have gotten her pregnant, little known to her husband. Ok, I totally did.

So back to legacy living. Patches grew up. I love him, and apparentlyso does Ben. He learns super fast, he gets nine race points practicallyon his own (he loves to run) and starts winning the bucks.

Obviously he doesn’t belong in my legacy, but perharps the sim Godsfelt sorry for me or something. I’m not use to an actual useful simor animal. It’s so refreshing I could cry… almost.

What the hell, these things are starting to creep me out. They’re everywhere!

In front of the bathtub, really? Way to go ruining my family’s hygiene.

So the kids grow up. Because of their sucky toddlerhood, I don’t getto choose Victoria’s traits. Screw you EA! I rock at this game, sothere! Besides it’s a legacy, traits have to be random anyway.

So she’s insane, athletic, lucky, and a computer whiz.

Hoss actually grows up a little better and I am allowed to choose one family trait so I give him Equestrian. He picked an interesting outfit to grow up in.

“I’m obviously the heir, duh.”

Yeah, he’s not. In an Uglacy, the ugly rule. His traits are loves outdoors,disciplined, snob, and equestrian.

Victoria has a very special relationship with the babysitter (because he cared morefor her than her parents).

“So I like the color spiceberry.”

“That looks like purple to me.”

“IT’S SPICEBERRY! Gawd, did you not have crayons when you were a kid!”

“And you shall be my royal hound, and destroy thine enemies…”

This kids smells like cheetos… mmmm.

Dorothy, we literally haven’t woohooed since the kids… finally, somealone time. Come to papa.”

“I don’t think so Ben! You practically haven’t talked to me since yougot me pregnant before, it’s all about the horses! I watch Dr. Phil, and I need more emotional support than that, Ben. Dr. Phil says so.”

You… witch… you. He practically raised the kids while you slept and playedwith the dog.

“I love cookies, Ben. They are God’s perfect food. Especially the ones withthe rainbow chocolate chips…”

“How long do I have to listen to this drivel.”

As long as it takes, Ben.

“Ta’dum, purple flowers, your favorite!”

“Oh Ben, flowers, really, whatever for…”

Gee, I wonder.

“Hey daddy, that’s gross. Why ya wanna kiss a girl? You’re gonna get cooties.”

“Mmf, Hoss, why don’t you take your sister fishing… daddy and mommy need todo daddy and mommy things.”

“Wow I thought we’d never get to go fishing.”

“Dad says that lady in the sky never lets him do anything. Well she sure let us, ran us right out of the house to fish. This is great!’

“I think she wants daddy and mommy to have a little alone time.”

You have no idea, kids.

“Hey Dorothy, can I come in there and platonically scrub your backfor you.”

Evil grin…

Next morning…

“You’ve got to be fricking kidding me! Blarfff.”

Meanwhile, that morning at the water cooler, er trough… whatever…

“So did you hear Patches? Ben got her pregnant again.”

“What is he crazy? I still have nightmares of those kids screaming non-stop.”

“I heard his wife fed the girl child… once.”

“I shouldn’t have let the kids go fishing.”

Nope, you shouldn’t have.

Victoria’s first day of school and she’s… what the heck are you doing kid?“I’m skipping school!”

The hell you are… *clicks GO TO SCHOOL.

“Awww. Other legacies try to fullfill all their sims wants.”

Yea, well this ain’t them. Now get your little juvenile delinquent butt to class.

What the hell?

“I’m a racecar driver… brrruuummm.”

Uh… ok then, carry on…does this build any skill points by chance?I just got Generations, so this is all new to me.

I give the kids a makeover, which might have been cute if Victoria had actuallytaken a bath!

“What, I don’t think I smell that bad.”

“Can I go do my homework now, before I gag.”

Oh my gosh, is Dorothy actually interacting with one of her children?! *jaw hits desk*

“So then some prince came along, and if that girl had a brain in her head, she would have ran the other way. He was all, look at my lawn, don’t you want to livehere? Then she kissed him, and he turned into a frog.”

“Mommy, isn’t it the other way around?”

“Trust me darling, this is the real story.”

“You flipping dog, I’m pregnant here. Get your sorry butt off my bed.It’s not like you have a doghouse or anything! On second thought,stay there, Ben can sleep in the doghouse!”

“Oh crud, I think my water just broke! Beeeennnn! Ben, whereare you?!”

Across town…at the Equestrian Center

“I’m so close I can taste it… Come on Patches… don’t leave me down, boy.”

Someone is working on their lifetime want.

“Great, not only do I have to drive myself to the hospital again, but Ben’s not evenhere, that jerk.”

Meet Little Joe Cartwright (after Bonaza’s Joe of course). He’s artistic!

And the Ponderosa expands…

Inside view… oh we have come a long way since our outhouse days.

Ben gets home from the races to see his new son, only he went allGrandpa and apparently that last race aged him pretty bad.

“Little Joe! What’s that creepy doll doing in there?”

I heard imaginary friends were sometimes hard to get, but Little Joe’s just seemed to appear… as an imaginary friend should… I imagine.

“Here’s Patches, here’s a treat, and take a couple of my fingerswhile you’re at it.”

“MMM yum, little girl fingers are delicious!”

“Look at me, It’s good to be king!”

I told him to skill, but oh no, he’s got to get all imaginative. You would think dressing up and acting like an idiot would at least earn some creativity points.You know those legacies where the kids have 10 skill points by the time they’reteens…hahahaha… well this ain’t one of them.

Not everyone is failing, however. Ben finally achieves his lifetimewant and becomes a Pony Partner.

Ok, I just have to say this, Pony Partner? Really EA? That’s lame. How aboutJockey Hall of Famer, Horse Whisperer Extraordinaire, or some cool title. Pony Partner? It sounds like he should be leading ponies for kids at the fair.

Ben decides to only do jockeying part time now and work on his art.

As you can see, he is up to a whopping 5 points in creativity. Thoseare the horses if you can’t tell.

“Hey, what the..”

Cue music… “Baby you’re a firework…”

Oh how quickly puberty descends.

And Hoss, well he looks like Hoss. Derrr. “Boy Golly Pa, I wanna be a jockeyjust like you!”

At this point he loves the outdoors, is disciplined, a snob, and an equestrian. He wants the lifetime want to be top jockey like hisdad, so we go with it.

And meanwhile, Victoria…

“It’s my birthday, I wanted a party!”

Isn’t she cute? Party… that would involve actually knowing people.

Well someone looks a lot like mommy. She’s insane, athletic, lucky, and a computerwhiz, and she has a lifetime want to adopt 6 animals.

I have to say I was very tempted to leave her in her outfit of choice.

“What? What’s wrong with this. I think it makes a bold statement.”

Erm, if you want the town to know you’re insane, then yeah.

No sooner do the kids age up, then…

“We’re taking a vacation! See ya later kids!”

Ok, seriously, I did not know anything about this, I clicked the box for a freevacation thinking we’d all get to go to China or something… I didn’t know the parentssplit! I was clicking on their grayed out faces to tell them to go home, but oh nooo.Mutiny!

“What do you mean they left?! Whose going to take care of LittleJoe?!”

Seriously, they left the baby with the teens and jump ship! Worse parents ever!

Take care of your little brother, Victoria… you know what to do.

“I sure do.”

“See ya later Little Joe…”

clicks fast swing…

“Whose the dude in black?”

“He’s the reaper sis, he’s come for Old Yellar.’

“Hey can one of you kids pry your dog off my throat. Gads,I hate these rabies cases. They always get slobber on my hoodie.”

“Go towards the light, boy, that’s a good doggie.”

“Mister Reaper, can’t you wait, my pa’s not even here to say good-bye.”

“The reaper waits for no one, son. Pretty lame of your pa to leave you with his dying dog and newborn baby so he could go on vacation.”

You’re telling me.

Oh geesh, is choking a new interaction with generations?

Nevermind, she just going all insane face. Maybe someone should check on the baby, it’s been like 4 hours.

Happy cooing noises…

Swings are like drugs for babies. If only they built skill points they would be perfect.

Hoss goes for his first trail ride.

“Are you sure this is safe? What if she bolts?”

Athena’s a sweetheart, she won’t do that. She does have a wish to kickyour mother right now, but that just makes me love Athena even more.

“Our parents are trash, Hoss. I mean what kind of parents leave theirteenage kids to raise their baby while they just take off?!”

“Yeah, where’s the social worker now, huh?”

“And worse, we can’t even throw a good teenage party because no onelikes us!”

Little Joe actually becomes a toddler, and no one celebrates hisbirthday, poor kid.

“It’s ok, BoBo loves me.”

“That was a great vacation, Ben! We should have totally done thatwhen the twins were little.”

“Do you think we missed anything?”

“Nah.”

“Hey Old Yellar, did you change your hair? A new collar? I just can’tplace it, but there’s something different about you.”

Ben seriously does not realize Old Yellar died, the whole family is mourning him but apparently because of the vacation, this never hit Ben.

Or maybe Ben is just senile, who knows.

“So, you guys finally came back?”

“Of course we did, Hoss. Anything exciting happen while we were away?”

“Oh I donno, pa, your dog died, your kid grew up… learned to walk, talk, and we potty trained him. Victoria and I are about to graduate.”

“Ah good, I really didn’t miss anything then.”

And this is where I will end, with awesome prom picturesof Hoss and Victoria. Victoria was suppose to wear herformal dress, but she never wears anything normal.

Anyways, until next time Happy Simming and thanksfor reading!