training: making small talk

Making Small Talk

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www.softheme.com Outsourcing to Softheme™ Training: Making Small Talk

In most English-speaking countries, it is normal and necessaryto make “small talk” in certain situations. Small talk is a casual form ofconversation that “breaks the ice” or fills an awkward silence betweenpeople. The ability to make ‘small talk’ is highly valued. In fact, manyEnglish students agree that making effective small talk is much moreimportant than knowing correct grammar structures – and rightly so!Small talk gets friendship started and ‘breaks the ice’ before importantbusiness meetings and other events.


What is small talk?

Small talk is pleasant conversation about common interests. Even though you may feel shyusing your second language, it is sometimes considered rude to say nothing. So making lightinformal conversation for the sake of the conversation is a form of social skills.

In small talk we express ourselves in the details of what we talk about, the words we use,the ones we don’t, how far we lean forward, how tentatively or aggressively we probe forshared ground.


WHO makes small talk?

People with many different relationships use small talk. The most common type of people touse small talk are those who do not know each other at all. It is also common to people whoare only acquaintances, often called a “friend of a friend”, to use small talk. Other peoplewho have short casual conversations are office employees who may not be good friends butwork in the same department. Customer service representatives, waitresses, hairdressersand receptionists often make small talk with customers.


WHAT do people make small talk about?

“Safe” topics:

Weather

Current events

Sports news

Entertainment news

Compliments on clothing or hair are acceptable

Subjects that are not considered acceptable:

Personal information

Salaries

Recent divorce

Religion

Politics

Never say something (good or bad) about person’s body.


WHERE do people make small talk?

Most often small talk occurs in places where people are waiting for something. For example,you might chat with another person who is waiting for the bus to arrive, or to the personbeside you waiting to get on an airplane. People also make small talk in a doctor’s ordentist’s waiting room, or in queues at the grocery store. At the office, people make smalltalk in elevators or lunch rooms and even in restrooms, especially if there is a line-up. Somesocial events (such as party) require small talk among guests who do not know each othervery well.


WHEN do people make small talk?

Another good time to make small talkduring a break in a meeting or presentation whenthere is nothing important going on. Finally, it isimportant to recognize the cue when the otherperson wants the conversation to stop.

Do not interrupt two people in order to discuss somethingunimportant such as the weather. If someone is reading a book or writing aletter at the bus stop it is not appropriate to initiate a conversation either.

If there is very little noise that might be an indication that it is the right time toinitiate a casual conversation. You should only spark up a conversation after someonesmiles and acknowledges you.

The most come time to small talk to occur is the first timeyou see or meet someone on a given day. For example, if you see a co-worker in the lounge you might say hello and discuss the sports orweather. However, the nest time you see each other you might justsmile and say nothing.

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WHY do people make small talk?

There are a few different reasons why people use small talk:

To break an uncomfortable silence

To fill time

To be polite


Small Talk: Conversation Starters

Talking about the weather

• Beautiful day, isn’t it?

• It looks like going to snow.

• It sure would be nice to be in Hawaii right about now.

• I hear they’re calling for thunder storms all weekend.

• We couldn’t ask for a nicer day, could we?

• How about this weather?

• Did you order this sunshine?

At the office

• Looking forward to the weekend?

• Have you worked here long?

• I can’t believe how busy/quiet we are today, can you?

• Has it been a long week?

• You look like you could use a cup of coffee.

• What do you think of the new computers?

At a social event

• So, how do you know Justin?

• Have you tried to cabbage rolls that Sandy made?

• Are you enjoying yourself?

• It looks like you could use another drink.

• Pretty nice place, huh?

• I love your dress. Can I ask where you got it?

Waiting somewhere

• I didn’t think it would be so easy today.

• You look like you’ve got your hands full

(with children or goods).

• The bus must be running late today.

• It looks like we are going to be here a while, huh?

• I’ll have to remember not to come here on Mondays.

• How long have you been waiting?


Small Talk: Conversation Starters

Talking about current events

• Did you catch the news today?

• Did you hear about that fire on Fourth St?

• What do you think about this transit strike?

• I read in the paper today that the Sears Mall is closing.

• I heard on the radio today that they are finally going to start building the new bridge.

• How about those Reds? Do you think they’re going to win tonight?

Out for a walk

• How old’s your baby?

• The tulips are sure beautiful at this time of year, aren’t they?

• How do you like the new park?

• Nice day to be outside, isn’t it?


How to Improve Small Talk Skills

Do some research

Spend time on the Internet, reading magazines, or watching TV specialsabout the type of people you are going to meet. For example: If you arehaving a conference call with colleagues from other countries, take timeto do some research. They will appreciate your interest in their land andyour conversation will be much more interesting.

Stay away from religion/strong political beliefs

While you may believe in something very strongly, beginningconversation and making small talk about your own personal convictionsmay abruptly end the conversation. Keep it light, don’t try to convincethe other person that you have the ‘correct’ information about a higherbeing, political system or other belief system.


Use the Internet to gain specific vocabulary

This is related to doing research about other people. If you have a businessmeeting, or are meeting people who share common interest (a basketballteam, a tour group interested in art, etc.), take advantage of the Internet tolearn specific vocabulary. Almost all business and interest groups haveglossaries on the Internet explaining the most important jargon related totheir business or activity.

Ask yourself about your culture

Take time to make a list of common interests that are discussed whenmaking small talk in your own culture. You can do this in your own language,but check to make sure that you have the English vocabulary to make smalltalk about those subjects.



Find common interests

Once you have a subject that interests both of you, keep to it! You cando this in a number of ways: talking about travel, talking about thefriend or colleague you have in common, talking about the differencesbetween your culture and the new culture (just be careful to makecomparisons and not judgments, i.e. “The food in our country is betterthan the food here in England”).

Listen

This is very important. Don’t get so worried about being able tocommunicate that you doesn’t listen. Listening carefully will help youunderstand and encourage those speaking to you. You might benervous, but letting others state their opinions will improve the qualityof the discussion – and give you time to think of an answer!



List of common small talk subjects

Sports – current matches or games, favorite teams, etc.

Hobbies

Weather – boring, but can get the ball rolling!

Family – general questions, not questions about private matters

Media – films, books, magazines, etc.

Holidays – where, when, etc. but NOT how much!

Home town – where do you come from, how is different/similar to this town

Job – once again, general questions not too specific

Latest fashion and trends

Celebrities – any gossip you may have!


Topics that probably are not very good for small talk

Salary – how much do you make? – That’s none of your business!

Politics – wait till you get to know the person better

Intimate relationships – only for you and your partner – or maybe your best friend

Religion – tolerance is the key!

Death – we need to face it. But not the first time we meet someone new

Financial – most people prefer to keep financial information to themselves

Sales – Don’t try to sell something to someone you have just met.

Thank you!

2010 | Softheme Team | Kyiv, Ukraine | Software Outsourcing Solutions

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