topic one parenting teenagers: relationships and behaviour
Post on 10-Feb-2016
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DESCRIPTIONTopic one Parenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour. Why Parenting Teenagers: relationships & behaviour? Features frequently in calls to parenting helplines Highlighted by Capability Scotland’s 1 in 4 poll . What did we use?. Data from calls to helplines Review of existing research - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Parenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour
Why Parenting Teenagers: relationships & behaviour?Features frequently in calls to parenting helplinesHighlighted by Capability Scotlands 1 in 4 poll
What did we use?Data from calls to helplinesReview of existing researchSurvey of disabled parents and parents of disabled teenagersFeedback from services and academics on draft report to check relevance
What do we know?Less support for parents of teensLots of calls to parenting helplines time when parents struggleDisability excluded from most mainstream research on familiesMost research on 2-parent heterosexual familiesLots of research on social problems less on everyday issues
ConflictConflict can be useful for teen developmentHow, with whom and why conflict happens is importantPrivacy boundariesLearning to manage conflictDeveloping emotional responses
ConflictInter-parental conflict can draw teens inParents need support to manage own behaviour and emotions and cope with conflict
QuestionsIs conflict seen as a typical part of growing up?Do parents of boys and girls have different experiences of conflict?How can services support parents with different types of family conflict?
Communication and RelationshipsGood communication important in familiesCan contribute to positive outcomes for teensThe issue of balancing support and control is complexNot clear where parents would get support to develop communication skills
Questions How do services support parents over deciding appropriate levels of supporting and control?How can services help parents to negotiate agreements that work for both sides?
IndependenceParents cope best when they can enjoy their teenagers increasing independenceParents sometimes feel anxious and rejected which leads them to curtail their teenagers activitiesParents need support to see growing independence as healthy and appropriate
QuestionsHow can parents be supported to be less anxious over independence and understand age-appropriate behaviour?What are the implications for lone parents?
Parenting togetherParents agreeing about their approach is more important than who does whatFathers are less likely to seek formal support and more likely to rely on their partner
QuestionsWhat are the implications for lone parents?What are the implications for supporting fathers?
Divorce and re-partneringClose relationships with stepfathers tend to follow close relationships with mothers Teenagers relationships with their fathers are the same after mothers remarryNegative comments about fathers after separation affect some boys more than others
QuestionsDoes family change affect families with teens differently to families with younger children?How can services best communicate with parents over issues around separation and re-partnering?
Control and monitoringCommunication often works better than coercion in monitoring teenage activitiesTeenagers tell parents less than parents assumeCloseness of relationships and agreement over authority help information sharingMobile phones are often used to negotiate movement and curfews
QuestionsHow can parents balance their parental authority with respecting privacy?How can parents be supported in keeping up good relationships where sharing information is usual?How can services help in managing expectations over what, and how much, information to share?
Families affected by disabilityGenerally a large amount of similaritySome differences - Both mothers and fathers are more likely to be involved in disabled teens lifeEnjoy seeing social developmentResources and attitudes can restrain opportunities for development
Families affected by disabilitySometimes knowing about their teenagers involves other people moreImpact of disabled parent on teenagerUsed mobile phones more More communication over activitiesWish to protect disabled parent
What helps parents cope?Pride in seeing teen develop sociallyEnjoying the maturation of their childBeing supportiveViewing themselves as warm and affectionate to their teenagerSeeing their teenager acquire new skills
What now?Discussion groups:Explore implications & identify areas where you think action could be takenHow could action be taken?In logbooks other thoughts, reflections, potential areas for action / development
Research on parenting teens did not include families affected by disability. Meant that we couldnt say whether issues explored in research would be the same for such families or different.
In response survey & in depth interviews with parents of disabled teens and disabled parents.- intention to include some comments and reflections to inform our report, so we can better explore the needs of families and how they can be supported
Conflict more frequent if teens think their privacy being invaded - draw attention to different perceptions of where boundaries lie and provide teens with way of directly dealing with what they think is an invasion of their privacy
Conflicts between teenage friends usually offers some opportunity to learn to manage conflict - involves some attempt to limit damage to relationship and to end the conflict.Conflicts with parents usually feature more coercion from parents and therefore little chance for teens to practice negotiation or conflict management
A degree of conflict with parents can be useful - Teen daughters who had conflicts with mothers less than about twice a week could bring different emotional responses to different topics of conflict;Daughters who argued more frequently with mothers tended to react the same way, no matter what the fight was over. [responding to fact that arguing, rather than subject of argument]If teens feel threatened in some way by conflict between their parents, more likely to involve themselves in an effort to cope with their feelings teens may feel responsible for solving parents problems or even blame selves.Teens involved in family decisions seen as more competent in making decisions about their lives and less likely to engage in problem behaviour.
Where families offer a lot of emotional support to their teenagers, combining this with high levels of restrictive control may be developmentally inappropriate and teenagers may respond to this by engaging in problematic behaviour. However, control may have a positive effect on teenagers wellbeing where there is less supportThese anxious parents were generally less able to see selves as separate and independent from their teen
For boys who were less able to maintain some emotional boundaries between their mothers feelings and their own, their feelings about their relationship with their father were more likely to be negatively affected by their mothers negative comments, even up to three years after the divorce. For boys who had more emotional autonomy, How they felt about their relationship with their father was not greatly affected by how often their mothers said negative things. The researchers suggest that this emotional autonomy can act as a stress-buffer for boys. - Girls did not react in the same way as boys when mothers said negative things about their fathers.
The authors suggest this means that some parents may be turning to their teenagers for support in times of family stress.Communicating often a better way of finding out what teen doing and influencing their behaviour than coercion.suggests that parenting has an important role to play in encouraging teens to freely offer information about their lives and activities and offer advice than directly attempting to prevent negative behaviour.
parents who are less accepting of their teens tend to over-estimate how much their teen conceals from them.
issues seen as on the boundaries of what parents should regulate and what is personal (such as seeing friends parents dont like) can be major sources of conflict. roles within family, relationships being key factors, regardless of disability.
Satisfaction from seeing teen develop socially rather than in relation to their age pointed out that opportunities for development could be limited by not only resources available but also societal attitudes towards disability
Impact - Eg worrying about them, bullying at school, - while this can be a factor in all types of families, disabled parents also highlighted potential for teens to become carers even be assumed to be carers by others such as agencies
Some parents of disabled teens - More detailed communication & used mobiles more in negotiating unsupervised activities esp if disabled teen felt to be more vulnerableSome disabled parents also felt they needed higher levels of communication from quite practical view.Seeing teenagers authority as competence, taking on more responsibility, rather than a challenge to parental authority