Today’s agenda:1. Cutting jargon, trimming sentences, and

avoiding redundancies. 2. Using correct punctuation and grammar.3. Why grammar matters: the comma.4. Peer editing of written papers.5. Wrap-up and assignment.

Suggestions for better writing:

Avoid jargon and seek simplicity, brevity, and clarity: Jargon Simple, brief, and clear versionA considerable amount of muchA considerable number of manyA decreased amount of lessA decreased number of fewerA majority of mostA number of manyA small number of fewAbsolutely essential essentialAccounted for by the fact that becauseAdjacent to nearAlong the lines of likeAn adequate amount of enoughAn example of this is the fact that for example

Robert Day, 1998, How to write and publish a scientific paper (5th edition), Oryx Press, Phoenix, Arizona.

Trimming sentences by reducing “fat phrases”:

Fat phrase ReductionAt this point in time nowAt that point in time thenHas the ability to canHas the potential to canIn light of the fact that becauseIn the event that ifIn the vicinity of nearOwing to the fact that becauseThe question as to whether whetherThere is no doubt that no doubt It is known that [avoid altogether]The fact of the matter is [avoid like the plague]

Michael Alley, 1996, The Craft of Scientific Writing (3rd edition), Springer

Common redundancies to avoid:

(already) existing introduced (a new)(alternative) choices mix (together)At (the) present (time) never (before)(basic) fundamentals none (at all)(completely) eliminate now (at this time)(continue to) remain period (of time)(currently) being (still) persists(currently) underway (separate) entities(empty) space start (out)Had done (previously) tuna (fish)

Why does it matter if I use “correct” punctuation? It just slows me down, and everybody

knows what I mean.

Without punctuation, try making sense out of this crazy string of words:

“Who do you think I saw the other day the Dalai Lama said my Aunt Minnie”

Patricia O’Conner, 1996, Woe is I, Riverhead Books, New York.

There are at least two very different possibilities:

“Who do you think I saw the other day?” the Dalai Lama said: “my Aunt Minnie.”

“Who do you think I saw the other day? The Dalai Lama!” said my Aunt Minnie.

Patricia O’Conner, 1996, Woe is I, Riverhead Books, New York.

Why does it matter if I use “correct” punctuation? It just slows me down, and everybody knows

what I mean.

What does this sentence mean? Is the meaning clear? Can it be improved with proper punctuation?

“A woman without her man is nothing.”

Lynne Truss, 2003, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Gotham Books.

Again, there are at least two different possibilities, with opposite meanings:

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

or

“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Are there any rules or is it all arbitrary?

Isn’t the language supposed to change over time? It does, whether we want it to or not. Why do the French fight so

hard against change to their language?

“Everyone has always regarded any usage but his own as either barbarous or pedantic.”

Evelyn Waugh

Grammar and proper word use are important for a whole lot of different reasons:

Proper use of grammar (punctuation, word order, etc.) clarifies the meaning of strings of words so that we can be sure we understand precisely what is written.

In social discourse and in science, the normal goal is communication so we want people to understand us.

Unlike oral communication, in writing we cannot use hand gestures, facial expressions, or tone of voice. So, the writing has to be precise.

Grammar and proper word use are important for a whole lot of different reasons:

The English language has a huge vocabulary and many words have similar but not identical meanings. Why not use the right word? Enjoy the richness of the language, but be careful—too rich can lead to a flowery, pedantic (pompous) result.

Grammar and proper word use are important for a whole lot of different reasons:

Sloppy writing conveys a disrespectful attitude toward the reader and also suggests other forms of sloppiness.

If someone cannot take the time to check for mistakes in spelling, can you be confident that he or she collected the data carefully or ran the analyses correctly?

Bad writing undermines the reader’s confidence in the whole project.

How is a cat different from a comma?

,versus

A cat has claws at the end of its paws,A comma’s a pause at the end of a clause.

Lynne Truss, 2003, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Gotham Books.

Why commas matter

What is the difference between:

“The people in line who managed to get tickets were satisfied.”

“The people in line, who managed to get tickets, were satisfied.”

More on commas

“Leonora walked on her head a little higher than usual.”“Leonora walked on, her head a little higher than usual.”

“The driver managed to escape from the vehicle before it sank and swam to the riverbank.”

“The driver managed to escape from the vehicle before it sank, and swam to the riverbank.”

“The convict said the judge is mad.”“The convict, said the judge, is mad.”

Ted’s recent mistake:Preempting Willi Hennig’s famous 1950 treatise on the principles of phylogenetic systematics by a quarter of a century, Charles Lewis Camp’s “cladistic” phylogeny of the families of lizards published in 1923, recognizes only monophyletic groups and clusters groups on the basis of share-derived characters.

Preempting Willi Hennig’s famous 1950 treatise on the principles of phylogenetic systematics by a quarter of a century, Charles Lewis Camp’s “cladistic” phylogeny of the families of lizards published in 1923, recognizes only monophyletic groups, and clusters groups on the basis of share-derived characters.

“Using the comma properly announces that you have an ear for sense and rhythm, confidence in your style, and a proper respect for your reader.”

Or, less kindly:

“The rule is: don’t use commas like a stupid person.”

Lynne Truss

In-class activity:

Peer editing of written papers: bring up on screen a draft of your paper, everything you’ve done so far, including introduction, methods, results, discussion, figures, and tables.

Now change places and with track changes begin to edit your neighbor’s work.

Edit, modify, and suggest anything and everything that you think is relevant. Pay close attention to detail. When you’re done, e-mail the edited draft to the original author, and send a copy to me as well.

Poster presentations on MondayWe’re all going to grade each other—here’s the grading scheme:

4.0 Outstanding in all respects: easy to read, good layout, balance of graphics and text, figures well-done, clear conclusions, appropriate number of references (A).3.7 Excellent poster: strong in all respects but with one or more aspects showing some weakness (A-).3.3 Very good poster: strong overall but weak in some areas such as graphics, clarity of ideas and logic, organization or text (B+).3.0 Good poster: sound in general but some conspicuous weaknesses in important areas such of text, organization, logic and graphics (B).2.7 Pretty good poster: a good effort but quite weak in several areas (B-).2.3 Fair poster: difficult to follow, graphics unclear, not logical, too much or too little text, poorly written (C+).2.0 Weak poster: Little effort made to understand, organize, and present the information (C-).

2.0 2.3 2.7 3.0 3.3 3.7 4.0

Rachael

Maddy

Chris

Zac

Jake

Poster Presentation Grade Sheet

Assignment for Monday:1. Read about “poster presentations” in the book, pages 201–209.

2. Work on your poster and practice your delivery.