To write with a broken To write with a broken pencil is pointless. pencil is pointless.

He said I was average, He said I was average, but he was just being but he was just being

mean. mean.

He wears glasses during He wears glasses during math because they math because they improve divison. improve divison.

When fish are in schools, When fish are in schools, they sometimes take they sometimes take

debate. debate.

Our social studies teacher Our social studies teacher says that her globe means says that her globe means

the world to her. the world to her.

Old teachers never die; Old teachers never die; they just lose their they just lose their

class. class.

I'm reading a book about I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible anti-gravity. It's impossible

to put down. to put down.

Did you hear about the Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right was cut off? He's all right

now. now.

I couldn't quite remember I couldn't quite remember how to throw a how to throw a boomerang, but boomerang, but

eventually it came back to eventually it came back to me. me.

I was going to look for my I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could missing watch, but I could

never find the time. never find the time.

Police were called to a Police were called to a daycare where a three-daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a year-old was resisting a

rest. rest.

A bicycle can't stand on A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is its own because it is

two-tired. two-tired.

The butcher backed up The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his got a little behind in his

work. work.

I was going to buy a book I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was on phobias, but I was

afraid it wouldn't help me. afraid it wouldn't help me.

A prisoner's favorite A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the punctuation mark is the

period. It marks the end of period. It marks the end of his sentence. his sentence.

If you don't pay your If you don't pay your exorcist, you get exorcist, you get

repossessed. repossessed.

Pencils could be made Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, with erasers at both ends,

but what would be the but what would be the point? point?

The dead batteries were The dead batteries were given out free of charge. given out free of charge.

I've been to the dentist I've been to the dentist several times, so I know several times, so I know

the drill. the drill.

The magician got so The magician got so mad he pulled his hare mad he pulled his hare

out. out.