To be or not to beTo be or not to be

The power of wordsThe power of words

Eliminating “be” verbsEliminating “be” verbs

To utilize active voiceTo utilize active voiceTo avoid repetitionTo avoid repetitionTo avoid confusing sentence To avoid confusing sentence

constructionconstructionBeing that she is . . . .Being that she is . . . .It is . . . .It is . . . .

Using Strong VerbsUsing Strong Verbs

One of the quickest ways to add One of the quickest ways to add excitement and forcefulness to your excitement and forcefulness to your writing is to replace limp verbs with writing is to replace limp verbs with strong ones. Three simple guidelines strong ones. Three simple guidelines can help you to do so.can help you to do so.Replace passive verbs with active verbsReplace passive verbs with active verbsGet rid of being verbsGet rid of being verbsChoose dynamic verbsChoose dynamic verbs

Don’t be passiveDon’t be passive

Passive voice:Passive voice:An inspiring talk was given by the An inspiring talk was given by the

president of the college.president of the college.

How can you make the sentence active?How can you make the sentence active?

Begin by isolating the action in the Begin by isolating the action in the sentence. Next, ask who or what sentence. Next, ask who or what performs the action.performs the action.

Revision: The president of the college Revision: The president of the college gave an inspiring talk.gave an inspiring talk.

Passive to ActivePassive to Active

Passive: Several safety precautions Passive: Several safety precautions should be taken before attempting to should be taken before attempting to rock climb.rock climb.

Active: Rock climbers should take Active: Rock climbers should take several safety precautions.several safety precautions.

Why use passiveWhy use passive

People often use passive verbs when People often use passive verbs when they do not want to name the person they do not want to name the person who did the action. The passive who did the action. The passive construction is less direct and construction is less direct and therefore less revealing:therefore less revealing:Ex: A pedestrian was struck down at the Ex: A pedestrian was struck down at the

intersection. (The writer may not know intersection. (The writer may not know who did the action.)who did the action.)

More often than not, you can put energy More often than not, you can put energy into your writing by converting passive into your writing by converting passive verbs into active ones.verbs into active ones.

Being VerbsBeing Verbs

Being verbs, like Being verbs, like is is and and areare, sap the , sap the energy from your writing. The verb energy from your writing. The verb to be to be comes in eight forms:comes in eight forms:am, is, are, was, were, be, being, beenam, is, are, was, were, be, being, been

Dynamic WritingDynamic Writing

Often you can replace being verbs Often you can replace being verbs with forceful verbs. Go through your with forceful verbs. Go through your writing, circle every form of be, and writing, circle every form of be, and then do your best to replace each then do your best to replace each one with a dynamic verb—a verb that one with a dynamic verb—a verb that communicates specific action or communicates specific action or creates a picture.creates a picture.

RevisionRevision

Example: The audience was irate. Example: The audience was irate. People were jumping out of their People were jumping out of their seats and were coming into the aisles.seats and were coming into the aisles.

The example has three The example has three being being forms. forms. Eliminating the three makes the Eliminating the three makes the sentence tighter and more dynamic.sentence tighter and more dynamic.

Revision: The irate audience jumped Revision: The irate audience jumped out of their seats and flooded the out of their seats and flooded the aisles.aisles.

Ration the Ration the be be VerbsVerbs

Save being verbs for times when you Save being verbs for times when you actually mean a state of being:actually mean a state of being:

I am totally exhausted.I am totally exhausted.She was born on Bastille Day.She was born on Bastille Day.

Choose Dynamic VerbsChoose Dynamic Verbs

Verbs, because they show action, are Verbs, because they show action, are usually the strongest words in a usually the strongest words in a sentence, the words that give life to sentence, the words that give life to your writing. Keep an eye out for your writing. Keep an eye out for verbs that make a picture:verbs that make a picture:The whole team came roaring down on The whole team came roaring down on

the umpire when he stumbled over the umpire when he stumbled over second base and tripped the base second base and tripped the base runner.runner.

Sentence ConstructionSentence Construction

Use of Use of be be verbs also indicate weak verbs also indicate weak and indirect sentence structure.and indirect sentence structure.

Use clear subjects as well as dynamic Use clear subjects as well as dynamic verbs to make your sentences more verbs to make your sentences more powerful.powerful.

ExpletivesExpletives

ThereThere followed by a form of “to be” is followed by a form of “to be” is an expletive—a word that signals an expletive—a word that signals that the subject will follow the verb, that the subject will follow the verb, causing a weak and indirect sentence causing a weak and indirect sentence structure.structure.

Because expletives shift emphasis Because expletives shift emphasis away from the subject with a vague away from the subject with a vague or unclear pronoun, they can result or unclear pronoun, they can result in the use of unnecessary words.in the use of unnecessary words.

ExamplesExamples

Revise the following sentence:Revise the following sentence:

There are three children playing in There are three children playing in the yard every afternoon.the yard every afternoon.

What is the subject and verb?What is the subject and verb?

Three children play in the yard Three children play in the yard every afternoon.every afternoon.

ReviseRevise

There are three possible dates that There are three possible dates that they might release the film on.they might release the film on.

They might release the film on one of They might release the film on one of three possible dates.three possible dates.

It isIt is

It also signals an expletive when it It also signals an expletive when it lacks an antecedent and is followed lacks an antecedent and is followed by a form of “be.”by a form of “be.”

ItIt

When you use When you use it, it, make sure the reader make sure the reader knows what knows what itit is. is. It It is often weak at is often weak at the start of a sentence when the start of a sentence when it it refers refers to nothing.to nothing.

Imprecise: Eleanore ate a big Chinese Imprecise: Eleanore ate a big Chinese dinner and then had a chocolate milk dinner and then had a chocolate milk shake for dessert. shake for dessert. It It made her sick.made her sick.

Precise: The Precise: The combination combination made her made her sick.sick.

ReviseRevise

It is easy to learn to ski.It is easy to learn to ski.

Learning to ski is easyLearning to ski is easy

ExceptionsExceptions

The “it” construction is necessary The “it” construction is necessary onlyonly when no logical subject exists. when no logical subject exists.

For example: It is going to snow.For example: It is going to snow.

AntecedentsAntecedents

Make the antecedent explicit rather Make the antecedent explicit rather than implicit:than implicit:

My father is a music teacher. It is a My father is a music teacher. It is a profession that requires much profession that requires much patience. (It has no expressed patience. (It has no expressed antecedent, so what does it refer to?)antecedent, so what does it refer to?)

Replace “it” with teaching music.Replace “it” with teaching music.

More ways to abuse “it”More ways to abuse “it”

Awkward:Awkward: It was no use trying.It was no use trying.

Slightly better: There was no use trying.Slightly better: There was no use trying.Because this sentence does not sound Because this sentence does not sound

awkward you may be lulled into its use.awkward you may be lulled into its use.

Even better:Even better: Trying was useless.Trying was useless.

Best:Best:Trying proved useless. (vivid verb)Trying proved useless. (vivid verb)

More of “it”More of “it”

Awkward placement of “it” near another “it”:Awkward placement of “it” near another “it”:

ItIt would be unwise to buy the new model would be unwise to buy the new model now, but now, but itit is a superior machine. is a superior machine.

(The first “it” is an expletive. What about the (The first “it” is an expletive. What about the second “it?”)second “it?”)

Revision: Buying the new model now would Revision: Buying the new model now would be unwise, but it is a superior machine.be unwise, but it is a superior machine.

Or: Buying the new model now defies Or: Buying the new model now defies wisdom…wisdom…

Using a clear subject and a Using a clear subject and a vivid verb makes a sentence vivid verb makes a sentence more powerful, contributing to more powerful, contributing to the power of your essay. the power of your essay.

““This” and “That”This” and “That”

Other pronouns, such as “this,” Other pronouns, such as “this,” “that,” “which,” and “such” may “that,” “which,” and “such” may refer to a specific word or phrase or refer to a specific word or phrase or to the sense of a whole clause, to the sense of a whole clause, sentence, or paragraph.sentence, or paragraph.

When used carelessly, broad When used carelessly, broad references can make writing unclear. references can make writing unclear. Therefore, avoid broad references to Therefore, avoid broad references to an expressed idea.an expressed idea.

ExamplesExamples

Some students feel that education is Some students feel that education is being forced on them. This is not being forced on them. This is not true.true.

What is the antecedent of “this?”What is the antecedent of “this?”

Explicit LanguageExplicit Language

Make the antecedent explicit rather Make the antecedent explicit rather than implicit:than implicit:

ThisThis cannot refer to a whole situation cannot refer to a whole situation or a group of things, so insert a word or a group of things, so insert a word after after thisthis to sum up what to sum up what this this refers refers to.to.

ThisThis

Lois said that she would stay in Yuma for Lois said that she would stay in Yuma for at least a year. This suggests that she is at least a year. This suggests that she is happy there.happy there. ((ThisThis has no has no expressed antecedent. Insert a word to expressed antecedent. Insert a word to sum up what sum up what this this refers to.)refers to.)

Revision: This remark suggests that she is Revision: This remark suggests that she is happy there.happy there.

Or: This remark suggests her happiness Or: This remark suggests her happiness there.there.

What is this?What is this?

Imprecise: She never calls me and Imprecise: She never calls me and she forgot my birthday. she forgot my birthday. This This makes makes me angry.me angry.

Precise: She never calls me and she Precise: She never calls me and she forgot my birthday. This behavior forgot my birthday. This behavior makes me angry.makes me angry.

ThatThat

Like Like this, thatthis, that cannot refer to a whole cannot refer to a whole situation or a group of things. When situation or a group of things. When that that seems unclear, replace it with seems unclear, replace it with what it stands for.what it stands for.

ExampleExample

Imprecise: We are not paid well and Imprecise: We are not paid well and receive inadequate benefits, but I don’t receive inadequate benefits, but I don’t think we should discuss think we should discuss that that yet.yet.

The reader might ask, “Discuss what yet?”The reader might ask, “Discuss what yet?”

Precise: We are not paid well and Precise: We are not paid well and receive inadequate benefits, but I don’t receive inadequate benefits, but I don’t think we should discuss think we should discuss benefits benefits yet.yet.

Where to look for “it”Where to look for “it”

Avoid expletives and passive Avoid expletives and passive verbs to add vitality to your verbs to add vitality to your essays.essays.

As we practice our editing skills As we practice our editing skills in the essay workshops, look for in the essay workshops, look for examples of expletives and examples of expletives and broad or vague pronoun broad or vague pronoun references.references.

ResourcesResources

A Writer’s ResourceA Writer’s ResourceExpletives: sections 9d.3 and 38d.3Expletives: sections 9d.3 and 38d.3Active verbs: section 46Active verbs: section 46

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouhttp://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammarts/grammar

Rules of Thumb: A Guide for WritersRules of Thumb: A Guide for Writers

Jay Silverman, Elaine Hughes, and Jay Silverman, Elaine Hughes, and Diana Roberts Wienbroer--5Diana Roberts Wienbroer--5thth ed. ed.