thermite - brick jayne fiction

7/30/2019 Thermite - Brick Jayne fiction

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THERMITE

a novel

by Brick Jayne

(c) 2013



Her smile was uncomor!ably ra"ian!# Her silky brune!!e $air !il!e" an" "ra%e" "own $er lawless ore$ea"

an" i! li&$!ly brus$e" across $er !$in ri&$! eyebrow# Her c$eeks $un& $i&$ an" $er li%s!ick was a sub!le

rosy %ink# ' !iny "im%le near $er le! mou!$ corner roun"e" a rare ace w$ic$ men woul" love !o kill an"

"ie or# orwar"acin& eyes s*uin!e" as i s$e knew worl"ly won"erul secre!s s$e woul" &la"ly s%ill $er&u!s abou!# +er"an! %ine !rees s$yly s!oo" be$in" $er#

' ,olaroi"#

' %icnic !able#

ew clou"s sca!!ere" $i&$ in !$e sky#

,lai" oran&e an" black !ableclo!$ an" !$e %ic!ure o !$is &or&eous smilin& woman !il!e" a&ains! a

leay bowl o &ar"en sala"# ' !all %o! o bake" beans an" a oil !ray o &rille"- mos!lyburn! $o!"o&s# '

%icnic !able in !$e mi""le o a cracke" an" a"e" as%$al! %arkin& lo!# le!c$er Browne &a.e" a! !$e %$o!o in

ron! o $im# He sa! c$ewin& on a barbe*ue" c$icken le&# He coul" eel someone a%%roac$in&# /oli!u"e#

He a!e $is oo" in solitude un!il Ma!!$ew /!ubbs walke" u% rom !$e "reary "is!an! buil"in&# le!c$er

!$ou&$! abou! !$e &irl in !$e ,olaroi"# Escapism- $e !$ou&$!# Take me to a better place# Ma!! wore a s$iny-

new $ammer on $is car%en!ers bel!# T$ere were a ew lea!$er slo!s in!en"e" or screw"rivers- %liers-

wrenc$es an" o!$er !ools# T$ey were em%!y#

ar be$in" Ma!! in !$e "is!ance s!oo" a man "onnin& a "ark- %us$ broom mus!ac$e# Tom Mcay

was $is name# I Mario rom onkey on& ame $a" been a real %erson- $e mi&$!ve been mo"ele" a!er

!$is &uy# He looke" concerne"# He crosse" $is arms# He wa!c$e" Ma!! reac$ !$e %icnic !able# le!c$er

was almos! %osi!ive bo!$ o !$em were &oin& !o &e! yelle" a!# Ins!ea"- Tom uncrosse" $is arms- !urne"

aroun"- an" en!ere" !$e .any buil"in& be$in" $im#

Is $e ma"45 le!c$er aske"- !$en $e !ook !$e %ic!ure $e $a" been s!arin& a! an" %u! i! in $is ron!-

le! %ocke! makin& sure no! !o ben" i!# ,olaroi"s weren! common anymore an" %re!!y women seeme" !o

be even less common#

He !$inks we wan! !o run away an" !ell !$e %ress-5 Ma!! sai"#

le!c$er el! a vile emo!ion# Ma!! was no! one o !$e &oo" &uys# He $a" $el%e" %u! !$e buil"in&

u% w$ic$ Tom was roamin& aroun" in# In !$e "is!ance- c$ainlinke" ences surroun"e" !$em# I! $a" been a

!rain s!a!ion "eca"es a&o# Tracks s!ill ran !$rou&$ !$e %ro%er!y# /$iny- ra.ors$ar% barbwire circles loo%e"

a!o% every ence an" wall in all "irec!ions# In a ma!!er o secon"s- !$e %re!!y la"y rom !$e ,olaroi"

vanis$e" rom le!c$s min"# Toucan-5 $e sai" !o Ma!!# Tom calls you 6Toucan an" you say 6yes !o

every!$in& $e asks or# 7oure a !y%ical 6yes man an" i you ran away rom !$is %lace- i! ou&$! !o be

because o !$e way youre !rea!e"#5

I! s$oul" $ave no!$in& !o "o wi!$ !$e ac! !$a! I $el%e" cons!ruc! a &as c$amber death house in

'mericas &rea! Mi"wes!#5 Ma!! was nervous an" umble" !o %re%are a cou%le o $o!"o&s# I $a" no

choice an" you know i!8 Im no! some privileged rich kid like you8 I work### or I live on !$e s!ree!s85

Im no! blamin& you- Ma!!#5 le!c$er s%an aroun" an" reac$e" in!o an icy col" me!al bucke! o

&eneric so"as# He &rabbe" &ra%e an" an oran&elavore" cans !$en e9!en"e" bo!$ !owar" Ma!! across !$e

!able# Ma!! !ook !$e &ra%elavore" one an" %o%%e" i! o%en imme"ia!ely# Im no! blamin& you or M

:l!ra8 Im no! blamin& you or !$e assassina!ion o ;illiam <oo%er8 Im no! blamin& you or !$e i!een



$un"re" other %laces like !$is85 le!c$er o%ene" $is oran&elavore" "rink an" c$u&&e"# ;are$ouses

aroun" !$e :ni!e" /!a!es w$ic$ were "esi&ne" as emer&ency concen!ra!ion cam%s8 Im no! blamin& you

or any o !$a!8 Bu! %eo%le like you make i! easy or !$em8 /%i! in $is face !$e ne9! !ime $e calls you

6Toucan8 Have a li!!le %ri"e w$en you &o !o slee% a! ni&$!85

T$e wors! o i! is over !$ou&$- right 45 Ma!! s*uir!e" ke!c$u% an" mus!ar" on!o $o!"o&s on

s!yrooam %la!es in ron! o $im# 6The War On Terror ... w$ic$ was a war a&ains! Americans as muc$ as i!

was a war a&ains! 'rabs8 T$e wors! o i! is over - correc!45 He bi! in!o $is oo" an" ke%! !alkin&- albei!

mule"# T$e uckin &overnmen! w$ic$ knocke" "own our own Twin Towers !$en blame" %eo%le in 'sia8

T$e &uys !$a! "i" !$a!8 T$eyre !oo!$less now- ri&$!45

7ou &o in !$a! buil"in&### an" you look a! w$a! you were %ar! o8 7ou look a! !$e !urns!ile bars8

T$e oneway %a!$s wi!$ arrows on !$e &roun"8 7ou look u% an" observe !$ose rickin pipes85 Ra&e be&an

!o simmer in le!c$s belly# He wai!e" or i! !o %ass# He s!are" a! !$e buil"in& w$ic$ mus!ve been i!y

yar"s away# He coul" see &$os!s o %eo%le# He coul" visuali.e $a%%y resi"en!s as !$ey wai!e" or !rains#

He saw an9ious la"ies wai!in& or !$eir $usban"s or rela!ives# He coul" $ear !$e c$oo c$oo5 an"screec$in& o locomo!ives# Then4 He coul" see w$a! i! became### an" $e coul" see w$a! !$e "iabolical

%lanners wan!e" i! !o be# He coul" see $orriie" ca%!ure" 'mericans $urrie" o o arrivin& !rains le" in

&roves an" lines !o !$e inal %lace w$ere !$ey" "raw brea!$s o o9y&en# He coul" see sol"iers wi!$

mac$ine &uns makin& sure !$an no one s!e%%e" ou! o line# He coul" $ear sirens# He coul" $ear cryin&#

He coul" almost smell !$e ro! o "ecayin& bo"ies ou!si"e o !$e s!a!ion in !$e "is!ance# 7oure okay- Ma!!#

7ou weren! !$e only w$o buil! !$ese !$in&s# 7ou &o in !$ere### an" !$ink or a secon" w$a! coul"ve

$a%%ene" i !$e "ominoes ke%! allin& in !$e "irec!ion or !$ose w$om hijacked our government 8 7ou were

one o many w$o built !$is %lace### bu! you can $ave solace an" =oy knowin& youre "isman!lin& i! as well85

7ou know45 Ma!! inis$e" !$e irs! o $is $o!"o&s# I almos! wan!e" !$em !o do i!8 I &o! sick o

every minori!y an" every w$inin& %erson in !$is coun!ry8 I almos! wan!e" i! !o $a%%en8 'n" w$en !$ey

ri&&e" !$e 2! elec!ion4 I was almos! sure !$a! !$is %lace woul" be %u! !o use8 I! almos! seeme" cosmetic

a! !$e be&innin&>some!$in& !o scare !$e %o%ulous wi!$8 6 "ey# we are the real$deal cra%y- you know4

6We knocked down the World Trade &enter in front of you... and if you act up# you will be gassed 8 I

!$ou&$! !$e vi"eos o !$is %lace were in!en!ionally leake" almos! like $omeowners wi!$ !$ese &narly

win"ow si&ns bra&&in& !$a! !$eir $ouse is %ro!ec!e" by 'mith and Wesson85

I can! s$ake !$e eelin& I $ave o !$is %lace85 le!c$er Browne s!oo" u% an" slowly observe" !$e

wackiness o suc$ a si!e# He %ulle" ou! !$e ,olaroi" rom $is le! %ocke!# He looke" a! !$e an&elic ace

wi!$ a $a%%y smile ro.en in !ime# He !osse" !$e %ic!ure !owar" Ma!!# T$ey "on! make ,olaroi" cameras

anymore wi!$ all !$e smar! %$ones an" mo"ern elec!ronics# T$a!s my %rom "a!e rom my senior year in

$i&$ sc$ool# T$a!s !$e las! !ime I el! like a normal %erson8 Ever since !$en- i!s been no!$in& bu!

ollowin& u% on %syc$o!ic lea"s# /!acks o mass coins in (eorgia >!$ousan"s o 6em>or"ere" by our

very government 8 Mock un"er&roun" =ails run by !$e <I' in Turkey8 'laskan arms o $i&$ener&y

broa"cas! !owers8 'n" w$en I see you "isman!le !$e irs! %i%e in !$ere4 I believe !$a! will be !$e be&innin&



o !$e en"8 End of what 4 T$e en" o !$e reallie Twilight )one Ive been in8 T$e en" o !$is luna!ic

ni&$!mare8 T$e en" o !$inkin& !$a! we lost as or"inary %eo%le85 le!c$er was &la" !$a! Ma!! %ai"

a!!en!ion# Jus! because I $ave money in !$e bank "urin& !$is insane %erio" o $is!ory "oesn! mean I coul"

stop !$e bull cra% rom $a%%enin&8 7ou $ave i! easy- in some ways8 7ou "on! believe you can be =u"&e"

because your al!erna!ive was $omelessness8 'n" youre in some "enial !$a! !$is %lace woul"n! $ave kille"

%eo%le8 T$ose %i%es in !$ere are e*ui%%e" !o e*terminate human beings8 Bu! !$a!s ine8 /ome$ow- !$e

"ominoes "i"n! all# ;ere alive an" !$ree !$ousan" %eo%le "ie" in ?ew 7ork <i!y on nine eleven### plus a

few thousand soldiers from the physical wars it spawned # ;ere alive### an" no one &o! gassed !o !$e bes!

o my knowle"&e# (uantanamo +ay $a%%ene" in ron! o !$e w$ole worl" bu! !$a!s seeme" !o rece"e like

a recurrin& cold sore85

In !$e "is!ance- Tom Mcay e9i!e" !$e buil"in&# He screame"- Hey- Ma!!8 T$e valves are !urne"

o8 @e! !o work8 Ae!s ri% !$is %lace a%ar!85 le!c$er wa!c$e" or Ma!!s reac!ion# ?o wor"s# ' sli&$!

s$ake o !$e $ea" an" a small roll o !$e eyes# Ma!! $an"e" le!c$er $is ,olaroi"# "urry- Ma!!85

Ma!! &o! u% an" walke" !owar" Tom# He !ook $is $ammer ou!# "e just might use that on a person someday- le!c$ !$ou&$! !o $imsel# "e really shouldn,t pent up his emotions.

Ma!! /!ubbs worke" or ei&$! $ours s!rai&$!# His =ob wasn! !o "emolis$ a buil"in& w$ic$ $a"

once been a louris$in& !rain s!a!ion### an" !$en i! became a %o!en!ial "ea!$ $ouse i! wi!$ mo"ern %lumbin&

w$ic$ woul" !$eore!ically su%%ly le!$al "oses o %oisonous umes !o coun!less $or"es o $umans no lon&er

"eeme" wor!$y !o con!inue alon& $um"rum e9is!ences# Ma!!s mission now was !o s!ri% !$e %lace o si&ns

!$a! anyone wen! nu!s insi"e !$e -entagon### or w$a!ever ma"$ouse $a" commissione" !$is clan"es!ine

%ro=ec!# I! "i"n! $ave !o look like a train station a&ain### bu! i @eral"o Rivera cau&$! win" !$a! 'merica

$a" cen!ers wi!$ $olocaus!ic in!en!ions wi!$in i!s bor"ers- i! coul" %ublicly o%en a slimy can o worms#

Jesse T$e Bo"y5 +en!ura $a" alrea"y be&an %ressin& sensi!ive issues# I! was a ma!!er o !ime beore

ateline woul" "o a %iece on !$e na!ions nas!ies! close! skele!ons# T$e &uar" !ower woul" $ave !o come

"own# T$e !urns!ile &a!es woul" $ave !o be remove"# T$e %i%es> especially the pipes boldly in open view

>woul" all $ave !o &o#

le!c$er ollowe" Ma!! aroun" wi!$ a ?ikon an" "ocumen!e" !$e %roce"ure# Ma!! worke" un"er

Tom Mcay# T$e brun! o !$e $ar" work was "one by Ma!! w$ile Tom barke" or"ers an" issue" %riori!ies#

nce in a w$ile- Tom woul" &e! $is $an"s "ir!y an" assis! Ma!! i e9!ra levera&e was nee"e" !o move

some!$in& or %ull ano!$er !$in& a%ar!# T$e e9is!ence o !$e "ea!$ $ouse was !o% secre! an" Ma!! was

c$osen as !$e sole lay worker or !wo reasons# irs!- $irin& only one %erson woul" ensure !$a! nobo"y

!alke"# I Ma!! ever $a" !$e ca=ones !o la% $is li%s- no one else woul" be aroun" !o corrobora!e any

%ossible s!ory# /econ"- $e $el%e" i! !$e %lace wi!$ !$e very %i%es- &a!es- an" ences $e was van*uis$in&#

He woul" know i any!$in& was overlooke"- %lus $e alrea"y knew !$e &overnmen! $a" murky ways# or

cer!ain securi!y reasons- i! woul" be "umb !o $ire anyone new !o !$e si!ua!ion# le!c$er was $ire" !o

"ocumen! !$e even!# He won"ere" w$y# /f they,re so worried about covering this place up# why then take

pictures where dissident agents could e*pose an embarrassing mark0 He knew w$y- !$ou&$# Insi"e !$e



walls o !$e ,en!a&on or ;$i!e House- some im%or!an! %erson $a" !o be assured. I !$e %resi"en! knew o

!$e %lace- coul" $e risk !ravelin& !$ere4 T$e %aranoia was "yin& "own everyw$ere# /ome!$in& s!u%i"

coul" s%ark i! u% a&ain# icials coul" "eny knowin& o !$e %lace i !$ey never wen! !$ere#

'eventies was a small ni&$! club on /i9!een!$ /!ree! near !$e In"iana%olis Mo!or /%ee"way# isco

balls $un& rom !$e ceilin&# /!robe li&$!s ran"omly s%un in various "irec!ions# T$e Bee @ees- ;il"

<$erry- an" onna /ummer blare" in !$e back&roun"# Jo$n Travol!a %os!ers "ecora!e" walls# 'n a!!rac!ive

la"y walke" u% !o !$e !able w$ere le!c$er an" Ma!! s$are" a %i!c$er o Bu"weiser# Holy shit 85 Ma!! sai"#

le!c$ers back was !o $o! &al# I!s !$e c$ick rom your -olaroid %ic!ure8 le!c$er8 Turn aroun"8 I !$ink

youre &e!!in& lai" !oni&$!85

le!c$ !urne" aroun"# He s!oo" u% an" $el" !$e woman !i&$!ly !$en kisse" $er# I!s been soooo

lon&#5 ' son& inis$e" an" Bos!ons ore%lay5 s!ar!e"# I &o! !$em !o %lay some "ecen! classic rock once

in a w$ile8 ;e $ave !$e loor !o ourselves8 ;anna "ance45

Im $ere or a cou%le o secon"s8 I like w$a! youre "oin&8 ;e $ave more assi&nmen!s or you

w$en !$is is over8 ;as !$ere really &as %i%es everyw$ere45 T$e music was lou"# /$e re%ea!e" $ersel- !$is!ime com%e!in& wi!$ !$e son&# (as -/-E' 4 ;as i! RE'A45

Hol" on85 le!c$er s%un !owar" Ma!!# T$is I/ M7 HI@H /<HA /;EETHE'RT8

+I+I'?8 Her name is +I+I'?85

?ice !o mee! you85 Ma!! %u! u% is %alm# To le!c$er- $e looke" like an In"ian sayin& $ow5#

+ivian coul"n! $ear !$e &ree!in& bu! s$e wave" back in reci%roci!y# /$e %ulle" le!c$er a ew ee!

by !$e arm an" s%oke s!rai&$! in!o $is ear# I !$ink i!s over8 I !$ink !$e &overnmen! is &onna lay o all o

us8 'nyone w$o knew !$a! !$e Twin Towers inci"en! was a s$am is bein& le! 'A?E8 Everyone I

?; a! leas!85

1o helicopters bu%%ed you today like a black cloud over a cursed cartoon character 45 le!c$er

lau&$e"# I coul" eel i! !oo8 I !$ink I wan! !o marry you now85

We can,t A334 85 +ivian $i! le!c$ wi!$ !$e ma&a.ine s$e" brou&$!# T$e worl" s!ill $as

%roblems8 Even i !$e &overnmen! &e!s o O53 A''E' - !$ere is s!ill worl" $un&er8 'n" all !$e "ookie

!$a! wen! on even beore !$e s$i! $i! !$e ans $ere8 ;e $ave !o work !owar" WO36 -EA&E -

AET<HER85

le!c$s belly was warm wi!$ beer# His bu.. moseye" in!o a li&$! "runk# Ive seen your

+3EA'T' beore- +iv85 He %ulle" $er back !owar" $is !able- &ave $er $is mu& !$en "rank !$e las! o !$e

%i!c$er s!rai&$! u%# I $ave "O3O1E' - +ivian8 I nee" you ne9! !o me85

+ivian $i! le!c$er wi!$ !$e ma&a.ine a&ain# I! was Time an" s$e unrolle" i!# Bloo"y reu&ees

rom Mali on !$e cover# ;e can $ave se9 TO1/("T - le!c$er8 I $ave !o ly !o nor!$ern 'rica

!omorrow85 /$e kisse" $is c$eek !$en licke" !$e insi"e o $is ear# ;ell marry ne*t year85

le!c$er Browne wan!e" !o run !o !$e bar or ano!$er %i!c$er# ?e9! year485 He !$ou&$! abou! i!

or a ew momen!s# ;e say !$a! every year85 He %ulle" +ivian !o !$e "ance loor# Im &la" youre

$ere85 T$ey cu! !$e ru&# +ivian !$ou&$! abou! cancelin& $er li&$!# /on& a!er son& %laye"#



+ivian !urne" ri&$! rom $io /!ree! on!o <a%i!ol 'venue# /$e looke" over a! le!c$ %asse" ou!

on $er %assen&ers sea!# Her 2013 o"&e <$ar&er roare" an" s$e coul" see !$e Hil!on w$ere !$ey woul"

s%en" !$e ni&$! !o&e!$er# 7letcher 85 s$e yelle"# ;ake u%8 ;ere $ere85 in&o Boin&os Jus! 'no!$er

ay5 %laye" rom $er s!ereo# le!c$85

"uh45 He !rie" !o &ras% $is circums!ance# +ivian4 8/8 4 I &o!!a %ee### really bad 85

;ere almos! !$ere# Ill c$eck in# 7ou pee#5 +ivian /!ree!s oun" a %arkin& near !$e en!rance#

3un85 le!c$er ran away rom $er# /$e walke" casually in!o !$e $o!el an" !$ou&$! abou! $i&$ sc$ool# In

some ways- no! muc$ $a" c$an&e"# ?o line mean! !$ey coul" se!!le in *uickly# 's s$e receive" $er room

key- le!c$er s!ru!!e" back relieve" o &allons o urine rom $is bla""er# His eyes were bloo"s$o!# Ae!s

&o-5 s$e sai"#

/e9 "i"n! $a%%en# Ins!ea"- le!c$er %asse" ou! ace"own on a s!i ma!!ress# +ivian s!are" ou!

!$e win"ow or a $al $our !$inkin& abou! !$e worl"# /$e inally $ear" mumblin& rom be$in" $er#

8ivian45 le!c$er calle"# +iv4 I wan! you !o s!ay here !omorrow85

I eel like s!abbin& 6aura +ush in !$e s!omac$85 /$e con!inue" !o s!are in!o !$e In"iana%olisni&$!# /$es w$y were suerin&- you know45

/obrie!y $i! le!c$er *uickly# His $ea" !$u""e" bu! $e knew $e" been ine in !welve $ours#

Aaura Bus$4 'n" !$e res! o !$e Bus$ amily- ri&$!4 T$is isn! abou! !$e %ara%syc$olo&y s!u"en!s rom

E"inbur&$- is i!4 T$e ones w$o sai" !$ey conveye" all our !$ou&$!s s!rai&$! !o !$e ?/'45

4eah# In some ways- i! is# 7ou &uys are "isman!lin& !$a!### -6A&E 8 T$a! wicke" s!a!ion w$ere

someone ac!ually i&ure" !$ey" was!e our A''E' 8 Everyone I know !$a! was liberal "urin& !$e !wo

!$ousan"s was %icke" on8 I know %eo%le as ar back !$e <lin!on im%eac$men! $earin&s !$a! knew !$e

Towers were &oin& "own8 'le9 Jones4 He wasn! alone8 ' lo! o %eo%le knew something,s wrong with

those bastards8 Aaura Bus$ kille" a man w$en s$e was Aaura ;elc$8 How coul" anyone in !$e me"ia

i&nore !$a! in 20004 ; Bus$s bro!$er was !$e $ea" o securi!y a! !$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er w$en !$e %lanes

$i!8 How coul" %eo%le %ass !$a! u%4 T$e E/A8 7ou know !$e me"ia is in ca$oo!s wi!$ !$ose ri&$!

win&ers8 T$ey !rea!e" us like &3A- or years on en"85

/!abbin& Aaura Bus$ in !$e s!omac$ is no! !$e solu!ion- +iv85 le!c$er &o! u% rom !$e be" an"

$el" $er rom be$in"# Besi"es### Even saying you wan! !o s!ab $er coul" &e! us in !rouble8 I mean- i

!$ose %ara%syc$olo&y s!u"en!s were correc!- s$es lis!enin& !o us ri&$! now !$rou&$ telepathy an" their

!ransmissions o our conversa!ion85

+ivian /!ree!s &i&&le" an" !urne" aroun"# /$e kisse" le!c$er Browne on !$e li%s# I! "oes soun"

cra.y- $u$4 I wan! !o &o !o 'rica !omorrow an" I wan! !o earn my win&s in "eaven85 /$e kisse" le!c$er

a&ain- !$is !ime wi!$ !on&ue# ;e s!ill $ave a ways !o &o85

8ivian +rowne85 le!c$er kisse" +iv# In a year- maybe we inally marry8 I like !$e soun" o

your new name85

8ivian 'treets$+rowne85 s$e sai"# Im $y%$ena!in&- you know45

le!c$er an" +ivian $a" $eal!$y se9# T$ey mana&e" !o &e! a cou%le o $ours o slee% beore le!c$



$a" !o re!urn !o !$e cra.y- conver!e" !rain s!a!ion an" +ivian lew away or "i%loma!ic service# Beore !$ey

%ar!e" ways- +ivian %ro%ose" w$a! le!c$ ou&$! !o work on ne9!# I! $a" some!$in& !o "o wi!$ %roblems in

!$e /ou!$ ,aciic# le!c$er was $un& over w$en $e woke# He "i"n! wan! !o !$ink !oo "ee%ly abou!

any!$in&#

+ivian /!ree!s was in a CDC lyin& over !$e '!lan!ic cean w$en le!c$er Browne &o! !o Beec$

@rove w$ic$ was i!een minu!es sou!$eas! o !$e Hil!on $e" s%en! !$e ni&$! a!# Ma!! /!ubbs was wai!in&

or $im a! !$e %icnic !able# T$e %lai" oran&e an" black !ableclo!$ $a"n! been se!# I! $a" "ri..le" "urin&

!$e ni&$! an" "ark rain clou"s $overe" above# le!c$er aske"- i" you brin& any breakas!45

?o# ;e s!ill $ave !$e $o!"o&s rom yes!er"ay### bu! I woul"n! ea! 6em85 Ma!! $a" $is $ammer in

$is $an"# To"ay- $e brou&$! more !ools an" !$ey res!e" in $is bei&e bel!# Ive &o!!a inis$ !o"ay# Tom

alrea"y sai" Im be$in"# ;e s!ill $ave or! Ben=amin Harrison an" in&sbury line" u% or la!er !$is week#5

+ivian says !$erere only ei&$! $un"re" o !$ese %laces85 T$e bucke! w$ere !$e so"as were ke%!

no lon&er $a" ice# le!c$ reac$e" an" &rabbe" a s!rawberrylavore" &eneric so"a# My o!$er sources- o

course### say !$e number is more like fifteen hundred # Ive &o!!a in" ou! !$e !ru!$# I won! be !ailin& youan" Tom all "ay- !$ou&$# Im se!!in& u% a !imela%se camera a! !$e ar en" o !$e wes!ern ence an" ano!$er

camera insi"e# I $ave !$in&s !o !ake care o la!er#5

7ou "on! $ave !o ollow us !o !$e o!$er %laces- you know45 Ma!! looke" a! !$e bucke! o so"as#

I! was s%rinklin& earlier# 3ain water - $e !$ou&$!# What,s the harm in popping a lukewarm soda with rain

water doused around it 4

Im $ea"in& !o Hollywoo"-5 le!c$ !ol" Ma!!# I!s a rickin police state over !$ere85 ' "ro% $i!

$im on !$e ore$ea"# He looke" u%# T$e clou"s swirle" slowly# Ai&$! a! !$e en" o !$e !unnel- !$ou&$8 I

Romney $a" been elec!e"- Im almos! sure ascis! cra% woul"ve s!ar!e" $a%%enin& a&ain# ;ere &oin& !o

test !$e %ublic oicials# ;ere sure !$a! we can &e! !wen!y %ai" ac!ors !o %icke! a&ains! &un con!rol- a very

3epublican issue### an" were &oin& !o $ave !wen!y %eo%le %icke! or &ay marria&e# I!s some!$in& liberal

emocrats like !o !ou!# ;ere be!!in& !$a! !$e %olice screw wi!$ !$e liberals an" !$a! !$ey allow !$e

conserva!ives !o run o !$e s$ow# course- were usin& %ai" ac!ors w$ore use" !o si!!in& in !elevision

au"iences an" !$e like8 ;ell ilm i!# u&$!!a be a $oo!85

Tom !$inks !$eyre no! &e!!in& ri" o !$ese %laces# He !$inks !$is is or show# ;e %ublicly !ear

!$is %lace a%ar!- "ocumen! i! well- an" s%rea" !$e news !o !$e nu!s in <### all !$e w$ile- o!$er !rain s!a!ions

are conver!e" o!$er %laces# ?o ne! c$an&e in o!$er wor"s#5

I wan! !o care-5 le!c$er sai"# I really wan! !o care abou! all !$is cra%# My %la!e is ull# I $ave

<aliornia !$en I !ake o !o /uma!ra# 's as! as one issue is resolve"- !wo or !$ree more s%rin& u%#5 T$e

$o!"o&s were s!ill on !$e !able un"ernea!$ oil rom !$e "ay beore# T$ey coul"n! $ave &one ba" over

ni&$!- coul" !$ey4 I mean- i! was cold ou!si"e85

Ma!! $an"e" le!c$ !$e !ray# Ill wai! un!il my lunc$ break# Ill in" some!$in& else#5 He $an"e"

le!c$er some buns rom a ba& an" !$e bo!!les o mus!ar" an" ke!c$u%# Tom a%olo&i.e" or callin& me

6Toucan8 He sai" $e was un"er lo!s o %ressure an" !$e !$ou&$! o "ea" %eo%le $ere &ave $im men!al i!s#5



1ice#5 le!c$er s*uir!e" mus!ar" on col" $o!"o&s# 8ery nice# I un"ers!an"- ac!ually# I el!

weir" bein& $ere# Tingly crap in my stomach# T$ese are a"ul! issues- !$ou&$# ;$a! &oo"s i! "o !o %u!

your $ea" in !$e san" like an os!ric$45

Ma!! saw !$a! le!c$er was en=oyin& $is col" breakas! an" c$an&e" $is min" abou! wai!in& un!il

lunc$# He &rabbe" !$ree "o&s an" a!e !$em wi!$ou! buns or con"imen!s# In !$e "is!ance- Tom Mcay

e9i!e" !$e ormer !rain s!a!ion# le!c$er no!ice" ano!$er %erson be$in" $im# T$ey a%%roac$e" !$e %icnic

!able# ario and 6uigi4 le!c$er !$ou&$!# /f the other guy had a mustache# / would say# 9Welcome: ario

and 6uigi:; He s$ook !$e i"ea# 's !$e mys!ery &uy &o! closer- le!c$er !$ou&$!- Oh: / know this one:

ister 3oper from Three,s &ompany: ario,s buddy is the infamous landlord:

ellas45 Tom Mcay calle"# T$is is my boss- <ornelius /!uar!8 He works or !$e <I' an" is

overseein& !$e %ro=ec!#5

@la" !o inally mee! you85 Ma!! e9!en"e" $is ri&$! $an"# <ornelius s$ook i! irmly# I eel like I

know you rom workin& or Tom#5

;oul" you like !o be %$o!o&ra%$e" or %os!eri!y45 le!c$er &es!ure" wi!$ $is ?ikon# r### areyou no! oicially $ere45

Tom %u! $is arm aroun" <ornelius# He is %rou" !$a! !$e mass %syc$osis $as en"e"8 ;e are "oin&

!$e e*uivalen! o nuclear "isarmamen!8 I! is a ine !ime or us8 ;e use" !o be men o sensibili!y- you

know45

le!c$er !ook a ew %ic!ures# ;ere !$ese cam%s your i"ea- sir45 le!c$er- or !$e irs! !ime- !ook

%ic!ures o !$e oo" !$ey" been ea!in&# ;as !$ere a unanimous "ecision !$a! suc$ %laces ou&$! !o e9is!45

le!c$er %oin!e" $is camera u%war"s an" sna%%e" %ic!ures o !$e !$un"er clou"s# How "oes suc$ a !$in&

like !$is come abou! in w$a! $as been consi"ere" !$e &rea!es! coun!ry on EA3T" 45 le!c$er se! "own $is

camera#

I! was %oli!ics an" bi&o!ry8 T$ere was a !ime w$en 3eagan was %resi"en! !$a! none o us !$ou&$!

emocra!s could ever be elec!e" !o !$e ;$i!e House a&ain# or many conserva!ives be$in" !$e scenes- i!s

be!!er !o &o ou! as a cra%y nut !$an !o conce"e !o olks once "eeme" scummy### an" no! !oo smar!85

T$anks or !$e can"or-5 le!c$er sai"# Be!ween me an" you- !$a!s w$a! mos! o us youn&s!ers

!$ink anyway# I!s nice !o $ear i! come rom your mou!$8 /ntegrity# I remember $earin& as a ki" !$a! !$a!s

w$a! !$e @, was abou!8 <lin!on !$rew a monkey wrenc$ in your %lans8 T$a!s w$a! my mo!$er !ol"

me85

&linton45 <ornelius /!uar! aske"# Hes a %awn8 Hes one o our &uys8 ;e i&ure" ou! $ow !o

kee% !$e authentic liberals ou! o !$e $i&$es! %os!s# <oul" you ima&ine !$is na!ion run by ennis ucinic$4

T$e w$ole world woul" &o !o cra%8 Bu! Bill <lin!on was a 3hodes sc$olar an" wen! !o one o our Ivy

Aea&ue sc$ools8 ;e il!er !$e %ieces o "un& ou!8 Bill wants !o be Re%ublican8 7ou can see i! in $is ace8

/o "oes Barack- or !$a! ma!!er8 T$ese &uys run our core %olicies re&ar"in& bankin&# 7es- Romney

woul"ve been more ru!$less abou! im%lemen!in& our a&en"a### bu! we s!ill $ave !$e same overall lon&!erm

ou!come8 ;e "on! nee" !$ese cam%s anymore- by !$e way- because !$e %o%ulous $as im%risone"



!$emselves in co.y !rack $omes8 'laves to our bankers85

uck 6em- right 45 le!c$er aske" wi!$ a bi! o sarcasm#

Ais!en- child 85 <ornelius walke" aroun" !$e %icnic !able an" s!oo" ace!oace wi!$ le!c$er#

7ou $ave a ire8 I use" !o $ave !$a! ire8 I wan!e" !o "o ri&$! all !$e !ime8 ne "ay- you win" u% ol" like

me8 7ou ask yoursel- o / want to win4 Or do / want to lose4 T$is worl" is buil! o winners an" losers-

!ike8 I!s been !$a! way orever- an" i! won! c$an&e w$en all o us are &one8 7ou &e! !o choose w$ic$ one

you are8 I coul" resi&n rom my %os! an" %lan! lowers in ron! o all !$e $i%%ies $omes w$om Ive ruine"8

Aie won! c$an&e8 /ome o!$er ol" cock is &onna "o w$a! Im "oin&8 &oncentration camps in America8

7es8 'n" were !earin& 6em "own8 ;$y4 6<ause i!s ri&$!4 ?o8 ;ere inally losin&8 T$e T$ir" ;orl"

$as inally cau&$! u%8 Education# infrastructure# economy# art# military8 T$is is &oo" ,R w$a! were

"oin&8 T$e %ic!ures youre !akin&4 ;ere &onna le! 6em leak all over !$e in!erne!8 <$ina won! $a!e us as

muc$8 ;e can! kee% i&$!in& everyone or everything 85

"ey85 le!c$er $an"e" $is ?ikon !o <ornelius# 7ou $ave a s!ory !o !ell4 Take !$is or i!een

minu!es# I! "oesn! !ake a %roessional %$o!o&ra%$er#5o your =ob- ki"85 <ornelius s!ar!e" !o eel more an" more "ro%s on $is rece"in& $airline# I "o

w$a! I nee" !o "o# I can live wi!$ w$a! Im "oin&#5

Hey- !$anks or !$e $ones!y### once again-5 le!c$er sai"# I almos! !$ou&$! !$is war a! $ome was

as muc$ a &enera!ion war as muc$ as any!$in& else#5

I secon" !$a!85 Ma!! c$i%%e"#

'hut up# att 85 Tom scol"e"# Hey8 Ae!s all move !$is insi"e- can we45

Ai&$!nin& las$e" across !$e sky# T$un"er ban&e" as !$e our &uys !ro!!e" !owar" !$e &as $ouse#

nce insi"e- !$ey sa! on milk cra!es# <ornelius /!uar! "irec!e" a *ues!ion !owar" le!c$er- i" you $ave

any clue !$is %lace e9is!e" beore we con!ac!e" you las! week45

?o85 le!c$er looke" u% a! !$e %lumbin&# Muc$ $a" been remove" bu! !$ere was s!ill a lo! !o be

"one# ?o8 I mean- w$y woul" I45

;e con!ac!e" you because we know youve %$o!o&ra%$e" o!$er o""ball s!u8 ;$a! else "o you

!$ink your &overnmen! is $i"in&4 o you know $ow lar&e !$e /%ace /$u!!le was4 I! %i&&ybacke" on a =e!

airliner85 <ornelius believe" Tom woul" answer !$e *ues!ion bu! $e remaine" s!ill# o you know $ow

many I<BMs weve ever buil!4 o you know any!$in& abou! !$e /a!urn rocke!4 How "i" we "esi&n an"

launc$ !$e +oya&er an" ,ioneer sa!elli!es in !$e seven!ies4 Is i! %ossible !$a! -opular 'cience is smar!

enou&$ !o know $ow !o %lan manne" missions !o Mars bu! !$e :/ &overnmen! can! !$ink o any way45

'ecrets. More secre!s85 le!c$er !$ou&$! <ornelius wan!e" !o con!inue !alkin&# T$ere was

silence or a ew momen!s# 7ou know !$e answers- "on! you45

ne $an" "oesn! know w$a! !$e o!$ers "oin& w$ere I work-5 <ornelius sai"# I can !ell you

!$a! i! makes no sense !o me8 Thousands o rocke!s wi!$ nuclear war$ea"s# T$e <$evy Bi& Blocks been

use" or "eca"es8 o you !$ink we really $ave !o re"esi&n rocke!s every !ime we wan! !o &o !o !$e oon4

?o8 T$e /a!urn rocke! can s!ill &e! !$e =ob "one8 ;e can &e! &uriosity- a rover !$e si.e o a %icku% !ruck-



!o lan" on Mars### bu! we can! even mana&e a $uman "riveby4 T$ere are men in !$e ou!er reac$es o our

a!mos%$ere ri&$! now8 T$e In!erna!ional /%ace /!a!ion always $as %eo%le u% !$ere8 ;e can! &e! one o

!$ese &uys !o si! s!ill or si9 mon!$s !o !ravel !o !$e Re" ,lane!4 ;e "on! $ave !o land =us! ye!8 ;$ere is

!$e ima&ina!ion we use" !o $ave485

7oure lookin a! i!85 Tom Mcay sai"# He ocuse" on le!c$er an" Ma!!# I !$ink Mis!er /!uar!

is !ryin& !o say !$a! none o us really knows w$a!s &oin& on wi!$ !$ese %laces# ;$y buil" !$is %lace- man

i!- !$en !ear i! "own4 'n" we both believe i!s &oin& !o be secre!ly re%lace" somew$ere else#5

7ou men!ione" !$e banks-5 Ma!! su&&es!e"# T$eyre !$e reason- ri&$!4 T$ey $ave us $os!a&e8

T$ey %ay or !$e %oli!icians runnin& or oice# In re!urn !$e %oli!icians intentionally run "eici! bu"&e!s !o

ill !$e %ocke!s o !$e %eo%le w$o inance" !$eir cam%ai&ns# ;e are s!ill smar!- ri&$!4 I!s =us! no! all o us#

' ew bol" %eo%le c$ose !o &o !o !$e Moon in !$e si9!ies# To"ay4 I!s s!ill a ew %eo%le "oin& &enius

!$in&s### bu! !$e &enius !$in&s en!ail worl" "omina!ion8 ur %ocke!s are all em%!y85

Is !$is a s%eec$ abou! !$e 6one %ercen!4 Ive $a" enou&$ o !$a!85 le!c$er sai"# I mean- I

really wan! !o $el% every livin& %erson- bu! !$a! Occupy s!u became a !ar %i! or a lo! o %eo%le85;e can "iscuss !$is un!il !$e cows come $ome- &uys85 T$un"er %oun"e" a&ain ou!si"e# Tom

con!inue"- ;e nee" !o &e! !o work $ere8 Ae!s %ull !$e res! o !$ese %i%es ou! !o"ay8 'n" le!c$4 Maybe

i!s no! !$e bes! i"ea !o leave your camera on a !ri%o" ou! !$ere# Rains s!ar!in& !o %our "own# ;e "on!

nee" !$e !imela%se !oo ba"ly# Ae!s &e! !$is !$in& "one85

I! was an $onor mee!in& you &en!lemen85 <ornelius /!uar! %a!!e" le!c$ an" Ma!! on !$eir backs#

I will be runnin&# My work $ere is "one# I =us! wan!e" !o make sure every!$in& was in or"er#5 ;i!$ !$a!-

<ornelius o%ene" !$e "oor an" s%rin!e" across !$e as%$al!# T$e !$ree remainin& &uys wa!c$e"# le!c$er

coul"n! ever remember seein& a &ray$aire" man run so as!# le!c$ s!uck aroun" or an $our-

%$o!o&ra%$e" some more- !$en !ook o or Aos 'n&eles#

T$e rumblin&s were sub!le a! irs!# T$e sky was clear# '& an" & $el" $an"s in an un"er&roun"

cave# '& like" !o "ra& $is in&ers alon& !$e walls w$en rain !urne" !$e walls in!o workable clay# I! was

clear now- !ou&$- bu! !$e walls were !$e %erec! mois!ure rom "ays o $eavy s$owers# I !$e !$un"erous

noise woul"n! $ave be&un somew$ere in !$e nor!$- '& mi&$!ve wan!e" !o "raw s%irals- waves- circles-

cru"e animals- an" Og on!o !$e wall canvas aroun" $im# & s*uee.e" '&s $an" !$en s$e be&an !o climb

rocks !o e9i! !$e caves ceilin& en!rance# ark smoke rose in !$e "irec!ion o !$e c$illin& rumblin&s# &

&run!e" or '& !o come alon& an"- w$en $e reac$e" !$e surace- !$e !wo be&an !o ollow !$e roarin&

soun"s#

,o%ular cul!ure became ascina!e" by %e!riie" bo"ies in ruins o ,om%eii# 'lmos! !wo millennia

%asse" since Moun! +esuvius eru%!e" an" ins!an!ly ossili.e" in$abi!an!s o !$e re&ion# le!c$er Browne

oun" $imsel on !$e In"onesian islan" o /uma!ra# Aos 'n&eles was be$in" $im an" i!" been a ew

weeks since $e was in In"iana# He looke" a! one o !$e more %eculiar !$in&s $e" ever seen# He s!are" or

a $al minu!e because $is brain wasn! re&is!erin& w$a! $e was seein&# ' "iscovery $a" been ma"e# He

was $ere !o s$are i! wi!$ !$e worl" via %$o!o&ra%$y#



/omew$ere in 'rica- +ivian /!ree!s was !akin& care o $er business# le!c$er wasn! sure w$a!

was &oin& on because $e $a"n! s%oke wi!$ $er since s$e le!# "ow did / get here0 $e aske" $imsel# /,m

staring at what0 A hoa*0 &ould this be a hoa*0 +ivians a!$er was successul in !$e ar! worl"# +iv an"

le!c$ ell in love in $i&$ sc$ool bu! !$ey wen! abou! lie as s!ron& in"ivi"uals# Marria&e4 T$ey !alke"

abou! i! a lo!# Money was no issue# +iv love" le!c$ an" +ivs a!$er love" $er# He %rovi"e" !$em enou&$

un"in& !o c$ase !$eir "reams# I"ealis!s# T$ey were youn& i"ealis!s an" +ivs a!$er i&ure" !$a! some"ay

!$ey" become %ra&ma!ic or !ire" enou&$ !o se!!le !o&e!$er# He woul" %ay or !$eir we""in&# le!c$er

!$ou&$! abou! !$e e9%enses $e incurre"# He coul" see $imsel as a &rea! visual ar!is! some"ay# 'nsel

'"ams# He !$ou&$! abou! w$o $e coul" be# He curren!ly looke" a! some!$in& !$a! !u&&e" a! !$e "e%!$s o

$is min"# This is better than -ompeii- $e !$ou&$!# / mean# it,s only two people#

& an" '& were makin& love w$en a loa" o soo! lan"e" on !$em# ?ow- !$eir uninis$e" coi!us

was bein& observe" by le!c$er# This is sooooo romantic: He inally sna%%e" ou! o $is !rance# He be&an

!o !ake %ic!ures# He brou&$! !$e ,olaroi" camera w$ic$ $e $a" use" or !$e +ivian %$o!o5>!$e

ca%!iva!in& one $e" s$own Ma!! /!ubbs a! Beec$ @rove# I! was an an!i*ue camera an" i! was $is firstcamera# '!er sna%%in& some ?ikon %ics- $e !ook !$ree ,olaroi" s$o!s# He "i"n! use !$e ol" !$in& muc$#

He wasn! sure !$ere was a way $e coul" buy re%lacemen! ilm any more# I! was a &i! rom $is %aren!s

an"- beore elec!ronic cameras re%lace" mos! o !$e ilm cameras- $e bou&$! many "is%osable las$ bulbs

an" ins!an! ilm car!ri"&es# He "i"n! like !o use i! or "reary !$in&s like !$e "ea!$ s!a!ion back in 'merica#

He !ook $is ,olaroi"s w$en $e wan!e" some!$in& ins!an! in $is $an"# T$e ?ikon was nice# I! was a !$ir!y

ive millime!er 7<A# T$e obvious a"van!a&e i! $a" over !$e ,olaroi" or camera %$one was i!s abili!y !o

con!ras! "e%!$# le!c$ like" !o ocus on ob=ec!s a&ains! blurre" back&roun"s# He like" i! or eec!- bu! i!

also mean! !$a! $e $a" !o wai! un!il $is work was "evelo%e" insi"e a "ark room# T$ese love birds- !$ou&$#

He wan!e" !$e %ic!ure in $is $an" now# He sna%%e" !$e ,olaroi"s !$en wave" !$em in !$e air# T$ere was

some!$in& $e oun" humane abou! usin& an!i*ue e*ui%men! now an" !$en# I! seeme" !o connec! $im !o a

"ieren! !ime w$en %eo%le seeme" !o care more abou! !$e work !$ey involve" !$emselves in# I! was a

mnemonic "evice as muc$ as i! was a %rac!ical mac$ine#

le!c$er &o! "own on $is belly# He wan!e" !o see !$e e*tent o !$e lovemakin&# ' &rou% o ei&$!

%eo%le surroun"e" $im# He was a !iny bi! embarrasse" by w$a! $e was !ryin& !o see# In some ways- $e

i&ure" !$a! s$arin& a lis! o $is avori!e so! %orn licks wi!$ !$e &rou% mi&$! eel similar# T$ere was

some!$in& $e $a" !o know- !$ou&$# ;ere !$ey =us! $ol"in& one ano!$er in ear4 i" '& =um% on & !o

protect her 4 r4 Or 4 7es### ooooor4 ;as !$is cou%le !$e e*uivalen! o /uma!ras 3omeo and =uliet 4

i" !$ey "eci"e !o &e! busy5 w$en !$ey believe" !$eir lives were en"in&4 le!c$er %eere" be!ween !$eir

bellies# His bes! &uess was !$a! i! was in!en!ional se9# And 4 He $o%e" !$is wasn! a $oa9 because i!

seeme" !oo &oo" !o be !rue# How $ar" coul" i! be "o "u%lica!e !$e ro.en remains !$a! +esuvius %ro"uce"4

/cien!is!s woul" know# ' small sam%le woul" be !aken by one o !$e ei&$! %eo%le $e" come wi!$#

&arbon dating # our $un"re" years a&o- Moun! /inabun& belc$e" $eavily in!o !$e sky# T$is coul" very

well be a roman!ic version o w$a! was oun" in !$e I!alian ruins# le!c$er was &la" !o be !$ere# He s!ar!e"



!o !$ink $eavily o +ivian# T$e %e!riie" cou%le in ron! o $im o%ene" $is min" !o %ro%osin& marria&e# He

looke" orwar" !o seein& $er a&ain# 's a!e woul" $ave i!- s$e woul" call $im !$e ollowin& "ay# T$ey

ren"e.vouse" a! !$e 's!on ;aikiki Beac$ Ho!el in Hawaii !$e ollowin& week#

I! was like !$ere was a sli! a! !$e !o% o my $ea"- +iv### an" someone inser!e" a +iew Mas!er sli"e

in!o my brain8 I coul"n! s$ake !$e ima&e85 T$ere was an e9cellen! view o slammin& waves !$rou&$ !$e

win"ow# '!er &e!!in& some o !$e issues o $is c$es!- le!c$er %lanne" !o $i! !$e san" wi!$ +ivian#

/norkelin& woul" be in !$e works by !$e a!ernoon# T$is heinous ace8 /$e looke" like a $en8 I mean-

$er nose was all man&le" an" i! looke" more like a beak85

7ou "i" no "ru&s- ri&$!45 +ivian sa! on !$e be" wi!$ le!c$er# Her !ri% !o Mali woul" be

"iscusse" la!er# Ri&$! now- le!c$ was !ryin& !o s%ill $is &u!s abou! some!$in&# 7ou !$ou&$! you were

$avin& !ele%a!$ic communica!ion wi!$ a %erson you barely knew45

7ou were !$ere8 I "i"n! !ell you abou! !$ese cra.y %erce%!ions 6cause I !$ou&$! I was &oin&

cra.y8 'ummer of ninety$eight # ' year a!er we &ra"ua!e" $i&$ sc$ool# ;ere in +acha>uero an" !$a!s

w$ere I !ake this#5 le!c$ $an"e" !$e ,olaroi" o +ivian $e" been carryin& aroun" or more !$an a "eca"e#Aea"in& u% !o our vaca!ion in +ene.uela- !$ere were weir" !$in&s &oin& on in my amily# ne o my

cousins be&an !o sell 6medical supplies8 ;$a! me"ical su%%lies48 I s!ill "on! know8 I !$ink i! was a

eu%$emism or "ru&s> maybe cocaine# T$ey always sai" i! wi!$ a s!ran&e em%$asis# edical supplies#

'n" were &oin& !o /ou!$ 'merica# I !$ou&$! i! was co"e or some!$in&#5

Aike %ick 6em u% a kilo w$ile we were "own !$ere45 +ivian coul"n! !ake $er eyes o !$e %$o!o

o $ersel# I !$ink I look cute $ere85

Aike w$en you wa!c$ !$ose movies an" !$e slu!!ylookin& !ram% walks u% !o a %rimo ri"e on

Hollywoo" Boulevar"# 67ou wan! !o $ave a &oo" !ime4 s$e asks- bu! s$es no! !alkin& abou! isneylan"8

I! was like !$a! lea"in& u% !o our !ri%85

/o you !$ink youre &oin& cra.y- all !$ese innuen"oes are &oin& aroun"### an" w$a!45 +ivian

$an"e" !$e %ic!ure back# I wan! a co%y o !$a!# <an ya "o i!4 -lease45

u!si"e- !$e waves rolle" in an" ou!# le!c$er wan!e" !o &ive u% on !$e conversa!ion an" $i! !$e

beac$ bu! !$is !alk was also im%or!an!# T$ere were voices in my $ea" !$a! el! foreign !o me# T$a!- by

i!sel- wasn! a bi& "eal### an" I remember !ellin& you abou! i!# I looke" in!o !$e !rees- !$ou&$# T$ere wasn!

muc$ o a bree.e# I talked !o !$e %ines be$in" you>!$e %ines rom this picture# I remember won"erin& i

someone $a" s%ike" my "rink# I was in a "a.e### bu! I aske" !$e !rees- Will you dance a little4 T$ey

swaye"# I remember !$a! muc$# ?o! muc$ o a bree.e- an" i! felt like I was con!rollin& !$e !rees be$in"

you wi!$ some kin" o 6life cooperation o sor!s85

7ea$- I &e! !$a!#5 +ivian smile"# I believe !$a! %ic!ure was !aken on our way !o Mri"a# I

remember w$en we inally &o! !$ere- !$e busses woul"n! s!o% or us- or some reason# I remember !$a!

w$en !$ey inally %icke" us u%- !$ey woul"n! le! us o w$en we yelle" 6%ara"a> the word you,re

supposed to say# I remember &e!!in& %icke" u% in a van### an" !$e "river s!ar!e" "rivin& o%%osi!e o w$ere

we aske" !o &o# T$ose were un !imes- ac!ually# '"ven!ure like I "on! $ave anymore# T$ere was Mali !$is



%as! mon!$### but / was alone and we,re getting old #5

I woul"n! brin& !$is u%### bu! I was in /uma!ra### and it happened again8 I know i!s more !$an

coo%era!ion be!ween me an" ano!$er lie orm like a bus$ or !ree# Insi"e !$e $o!el- I looke" a! a !owel

"ra%e" over a lam%s$a"e# I! was !$ere !o "ry- bu! I s!ar!e" &e!!in& !$is s!ran&e eelin& o bein& watched # I

!$ou&$! abou! !$ose !rees# I was lookin& a! your %ic!ure# I aske" !$e towel !o move8 I! "i"8 /ub!ly- bu! i!

"i"8 I !$ou&$! all !$is !ime !$a! !$e voices I $ear" in +ene.uela were rom a s%ike" "rink or some!$in&#

Aike I sai"- lea"in& u% !o !$a! !ri%- %eo%le joked openly abou! us $ea"in& over !o <olumbia !o smu&&le

coke# I =us! i&ure" !$a! maybe somebo"y s%ike" my "rink an" i! was a %ure $allucina!ion85

T$e !owel4 7oure sure i! was movin& an" !$e win"ows weren! allowin& a "ra! insi"e45

+ivians eyes %eere" ou! !$e win"ow# /$e was a"mirin& !$e same cras$in& waves as le!c$# 7ou !$ink

T? was !$e answer45

7es8 'n" i a towel can move !o my !$ou&$!s- !$en maybe i! wasn! a $allucina!ion w$en we

were !o&e!$er in /ou!$ 'merica8 Maybe> just maybe >!$is %ara%syc$olo&y is no! so o base8 7ou sai"

you were %aranoi" abou! 6aura +ush $avin& %syc$ics s%y on you !$rou&$ our walls8 3ight 45Ae!s &o swim85 +ivian &o! u% an" %ulle" le!c$ wi!$ $er# I believe you believe w$a! you saw#

I know w$a! I !$ou&$!# Im in "enial- a bi!- mos!ly 6cause i! soun"s so s!u%i"8 ;$a! woul" !$e ormer irs!

Aa"y wan! wi!$ my !$ou&$!s4 'tupid - ri&$!45

;ell swim### an" I $o%e !$is %asses8 I swear !$ere were no "ru&s involve" in /uma!ra- !$ou&$#

<oul" I $ave $a" s%ike" "rink !$ere as well4 I mean- is i! a !$in& orei&n coun!ries "o45 His $an" was

$ol"in& +ivs as !$ey ma"e !$eir way !o !$e san"# Ill s$ake !$is ou!8 T$ank you or lis!enin& wi!$ou!

=u"&in&# I "on! know w$y !$is bi.arre s!u &oes !$rou&$ my $ea"85

$8 Aook8 Im !o!ally con!rollin& w$ere !$a! bir" is lyin&85 +ivian lau&$e"#

Joker8 I like w$en you !ease- !$ou&$#5 ;i!$in a minu!e- bo!$ o !$em were in !$e wa!er# T$e

waves were more !$an !en ee! $i&$ bu! le!c$er $a" no in!eres! in bo"y surin&# /,m not sure / could

handle that right now- $e !$ou&$!# +ivian s%las$e" $im# He smile" an" aske"- o you know w$a!

$a%%ene" on ?ovember 22- 1FG345

=7?# blown away85 +ivian re%lie"# I know my $is!ory an" I know my rock 6n roll85 ;$y "o

you ask4 o you know w$a! $a%%ene" on ecember C- 1FD145

,earl Harbor# T$e answer !o your *ues!ion is -earl "arbor # Bu! you- my "eares!### are only half

ri&$! abou! my *ues!ion85 le!c$er s%las$e" +ivian back# He was $a%%y# He !ackle" $er an" $el" $er as

waves rolle" by !$em an" re!rea!e"# /omew$ere $ere in Hawaii- (illigan,s /sland was wra%%in& on i!s

%ilo! e%iso"e8 T$e irs! ull season was ilme" in black an" w$i!e an" was mos!ly ilme" aroun" /!u"io

<i!y in <aliornia8 Bu! !$e pilot was ilme" on loca!ion here8 J- blown away8 ;$a! else "o I $ave !o

say45

I like i!85 +ivian broke le!c$ers loose $ol" an" s!oo" u%# ;a!er was almos! knee"ee%# I

$ave some!$in& else !o !$ink abou! w$en I $ear abou! !$e assassina!ion# (illigan,s /sland - $u$4 Maybe

!$ey were in on i!- $u$4 T$e %ilo! was an alibi- o course85



7es8 7es- yes- yes85 le!c$er was more !$an $a%%y# Ecstatic# 7es8 I! all makes sense now85

He res!e" below +ivian# /al! wa!er !as!e" &oo"# He was in no $urry !o &e! u%#

akes sense45 +ivian looke" "own on le!c$er# T$e /un was $i&$ in !$e sky# le!c$er coul"

barely make ou! $er e9%ression because $e was bein& blin"e"# /$e almos! looke" like s$e $a" a halo over

$er $ea"# on! $umor me- 7letcher 85

Humor45 He s$iel"e" $is eyes# "umor 4 ' mon!$ a&o- I was in Beec$ @rove- In"iana a! a

concentration camp8 ;T- ri&$!4 'n" youre w$ere4 In ali because everyones s$oo!in& a! everyone

else everyw$ere85 He !$ou&$! abou! i! an" $o%e" $e "i"n! come across as an&ry# Makes sense4 I "on!

know# I!s =us! !$a! !$e worl"s so screwed u% all over !$e %lace### an" !$e only !$in&s !$a! make sense

anymore are !$in&s !$a!re !oo weir" !o con!em%la!e#5

I know#5 +ivian wen! back "own !o $er knees# I!s weir" ou! !$ere#5

Weird 845 le!c$er reac$e" or +ivs $air a! $er collarbone# He !oye" wi!$ i! be!ween $is !$umb

an" orein&er or a cou%le o secon"s# This moment 8 I!s momen!s like !$is !$a! I wis$ woul" never en"#

There,s nothing weird about it #5;e %ull our wei&$! an" !$e balance o our lives main!ains i!sel#5 +ivian became sa"# 4ou,re

suicidal - s$e !$ou&$!# I! was uncomor!able !o $ave in $er $ea"# /$e s$ook !$e !$ou&$!# 'uicidal0 1o.

Why would / think he,s suicidal0

I can! $an"le &oin& back in!o !$e real worl" $al !$e !ime- +iv# I!s like $o! wa!er in a s%a# I!

sucks# I! really sucks- an" !$en youre in !$e !$in& an" i!s okay# 7ou &e! use" !o i!- you know45 le!c$er

was sa!isie" wi!$ $is %lace in lie a! !$e momen! an" "i"n! reali.e !$a! +ivian $a" a sinkin& eelin&#

;e can con*uer !$e worl"# I know we can# T$eres only so muc$ we can "o !o c$an&e !$in&s###

bu! sooner or la!er- weve &o!!a "o !$is more o!en# ;e can! care abou! every s!arvin& c$il"### or every s$o!

%oli!ical %risoner8 ;e can! "o everything #5 /$e el! be!!er bu! s$e believe" s$e was s!a!in& !$e obvious#

;$y clariy suc$ an obvious !$in&4

I "on! wan! !o s!o%- +iv8 I can "o !$is 6!il Im si9!yive### bu! I nee" momen!s wi!$ you away

rom all !$e lunacy# I! ills my !ank- you know45 'll o a su""en- le!c$er el! a!i&ue"# He wan!e" !o !ake

an a!ernoon na%# <an you ollow me or !$e ne9! year or so4 ;ell knock ou! all o !$e main issues we

"iscusse" in $i&$ sc$ool8 I nee" !o &e! !o Ban&la"es$# I "on! know w$y#5

' callin& a&ain4 I $a!e w$en you &e! !$ese eelin&s !$a! $ave no s!ron& ra!ionale wi!$#5 /$e &o!

u% an" $el%e" %ull le!c$er !o $is ee!# I can &o wi!$ you !o Ban&la"es$# I wan! !o se!!le in a cou%le o

years# 're you wi!$ me45

I can! !ell you w$a! Im &oin& !o be !$inkin& in a cou%le o years### bu!### i!s s!ar!in& !o wear on

me# I wan! !o "o i! less o!en# I can "o !$is 6!il Im si9!yive bu! maybe slow !o one or !wo !$in&s every

year#5 le!c$er %u! $is arm aroun" +iv as !$ey walke" over !$e san" !o !$eir $o!el# o you ever eel &uil!y

or rewar"in& ourselves wi!$ !$ese kin"s o !ri%s45

'!er Ban&la"es$- I $ave !$e perfect %lace or us !o &o85 /$e smile"# +ra%il 8 ;e can !ake care

o rainores! issues a! !$e same !ime i!ll eel like a s!ellar vaca!ion# T$e ;orl" <u% an" lym%ics are



a$ea"8 I !$ink i!s &onna be &rea!85

le!c$er wan!e" !o &e! back !o !$eir room an" make love# More !$an !$a!- $e wan!e" !o slee% or a

ew $ours# Maybe !$ey coul" cu! ou! !$e snorkelin& an" &o s!rai&$! !o a luau# +iv was a bi! an!sy# 's soon

as !$ey en!ere" !$eir room- le!c$er %lo%%e" $imsel ace"own on !$eir be" an" conke" ou!# +ivian wen!

back ou!si"e an" !ook a s!roll u% a%a$ula 'venue an" se!!le" on a benc$ w$en s$e reac$e" <rane ,ark#

/$e became sullen an" coul"n! s$ake $er emo!ions# ;$ile on !$e beac$- s$e be&an !o !$ink !$a! le!c$er

was suici"al or some reason# There,s a difference between a thrill$seeker and being suicidal. "e,s always

liked adventure- s$e !$ou&$!# / don,t know where these ideas are coming from# /norkelin& woul" $ave

been nice# /ur%risin&ly- +ivian believe" s$e was be!!er o s%en"in& !ime !o $ersel# /$e wasn! sure s$e

coul" $ol" over un!il !$e "inner so s$e or"ere" a <aliornia roll a! @enki /us$i w$ile on $er way back#

;$en s$e reac$e" !$e $o!elle!c$ was snorin& lou"ly# /$e wai!e" a $al $our beore wakin& $im# I!s

time- le!c$er8 Remember45

4es8 Roas!e" kalua %i&# <$icken bake" in coconu! milk# 4ummy85 He was &ro&&y- rubbe" $is

eyes !$en kisse" +ivian on !$e c$eek# I $ave yuck brea!$# /orry#5Take a s$ower# ;e can be !$ere early i youre *uick#5 +ivian sa! on !$e be" !$en s!re!c$e"# I

you "on! $urry- Ill &o !o slee% an" won! be able !o &e! u%#5

7ea$# @o! i!#5 le!c$er s$owere" an" $is bloo" s!ar!e" %um%in& as !$ey le!# T$is is !oo &oo"85

$e sai" w$en !$ey reac$e" !$e eas!# T$e /un $a" =us! sunk below !$e $ori.on# ' ierce woo"en sol"ier

&ree!e" !$em# I love $ow !$eir e9%ressions are e9a&&era!e"-5 $e observe"# Beore lon&- !$ey were

wa!c$in& $ulu "ancers an" ire $an"lers# T$ey a!e lomi salmon# I miss !$e con!inen!al :ni!e" /!a!es#

;$a!s wrong wi!$ me45

Homesick4 ;ow85 +ivian a!e rom a s$is$ kabob# 7oull miss !$is %lace w$en youre back

over !$ere# Trust me85

I wan! !o know w$a!s in !$ose caves ou! !$ere8 Remember !$e Bra"y Bunc$4 I wan! !o see !$e

caves w$ere !$ey re!urne" a curse" i"ol#5

@illi&ans Islan"### now !$is45 +iv lau&$e"# 7oure no! serious- are you45

I we in" ou! i!s anyw$ere near- I !$ink i!" be nea!#5 le!c$er coul" $ear waves break# 7oure

no! ma" !$a! we ski%%e" snorkelin&- are you45

?o# I !ook a nice walk#5 /$e &rabbe" a! !$e lei aroun" $er neck# 3eal flowers#5

7ea$# T$is w$ole !$in&s &rea!85 le!c$ers min" s$i!e"# I wan! !o !alk abou! Evergreen

&ollege### an" some o !$e !$in&s we were "iscussin& earlier#5

The T? 4 T$a! s!u45 +ivian a"mire" a %erormer blowin& ire rom $is mou!$# ?ow45

My mo!$er !ol" me abou! 6re" bai!in& lon&- lon& a&o# c&arthyism# Re" scare# T$a! w$ole

!$in&### an" black listing # I remember eelin& normal beore I me! you# Im &ra!eul I &e! !o "o w$a! I "o

an" &o w$ere I &o bu!### 7ou "i"n! =oin me a! Ever&reen a!er $i&$ sc$ool &ra"ua!ion#5

My "a" "i"n! wan! me !o# Hes a s!ron& believer in learnin& !$rou&$ e9%erience### bu! in a

"ieren! way !$an your "a"#5 T$e ire s$ow was en"in&# +ivian el! a li!!le uncomor!able !alkin& abou!



any!$in& %ersonal in ron! o o!$er cou%les# ;$a!s u%45

Im !ryin& !o i&ure !$is ou!- s!ill# I wen! !o !$a! sc$ool lookin& or answers# I! $a" a re%u!a!ion

or bein& an e9cellen! %lace or ar!is!s an" liberals in &eneral# I remember smokin& %o! wi!$ a classma!e a!

$is $ouse near !$e sc$ool# 6ed )eppelin# ;e were lis!enin& !o Ae" e%%elin an" I was !ryin& !o &e! a clue#

T$ese &uys8 T$eyre white trash- ri&$!4 I mean- you !ake a look a! 6em8 T$eir music is &rea! !$ou&$# I

love !$eir music an" I was won"erin&- 6What gives4 I el! like a s*uare w$en I a%%lie" !$ere bu! I wan!e"

!o be acce%!e" by your a!$er# I i&ure" I coul" be an ar!is! like $im### an" $ell like me more#5

I! $el%e"#5 +ivians eyes were "is!an!# White trash45

I mean by !$e looks# I! was a reverse snob sys!em a! !$a! sc$ool# I mean- i you wore a s$ir! an"

!ie- !$ey ma"e un o you8 I! was an inver!e" business sys!em#5 ' man be&an !o %lay a ukulele# T$e

be&innin& was soooo nice# I never el! so $i%#5 -lay your heart out# on "o8 le!c$ !$ou&$!# He was

en=oyin& !$e sin&in&# He "rank Me$an +olcano Re" 'le# Bu! !$e uckin weir"es! !$in& $a%%ene"- +iv85

7uckin, 4 I "on! $ear you swear o!en#5 +ivian leane" over an" kisse" $im# /$e was s!ar!in& !o

eel a bu.. an" was !$rille" wi!$ !$e music#I!s !$e li*uor# Bu! I &o! 6w$i!e !ras$ bai!e"8 Im %re!!y sure o i!8 T$ese &uys8 I mean- !$ey

woul" lau&$ a! you i you looke" like an urban %roessional w$ile %resen!in& your "is%lay in a &allery# 7ou

$a" !o look like you $a"n! was$e" your clo!$es in ive mon!$s# 7our $air $a" !o be lon&# 7ou $a" !o smell

like weed 8 T$en- w$en i!s all over- !$ey !rea! you like some kin" o lowlie8 I coul"n! believe i!85

7ou $a" a ba" e9%erience wi!$ ba" %eo%le-5 +ivian sai"# T$a!s %ar! o !$e learnin& %rocess-

ac!ually# 7ou $ave !o learn w$a! youre not #5

I won"ere" i you were ma" a! me- !$ou&$# I a&ree !$a! we $a" a be!!er !ime a!er I walke" away

rom Ever&reen# 6ife e*perience# Hea"in& !o +ene.uela was killer# /ome!imes I !$ink I s$oul" $ave a

"e&ree or w$a! Im "oin& now bu! I also eel aimless#5

;e can! all be @an"$i# /ome o us are &onna believe were less im%or!an! co&s in !$is mac$ine

calle" life# ;ere "oin& okay# ;e s$oul"n! be $ar" on ourselves#5

I &uess I nee" !o $ear i! rom you# I s!ar!e" !$inkin& abou! life since !$ose !imes- !$ou&$# I rea"

some!$in& online calle" !$e 6 1ew =im &row. T$e i"ea &oes !$a! blacks an" o!$er minori!ies &e! a raw "eal

in "ru& cases an" are s!i&ma!i.e" by a $orse cra% sys!em# In our =unior year- we wa!c$e" White an,s

+urden an" I remember !$inkin& $ow ou!ra&eous !$e %lo! seeme"# ne "ay- minori!ies woul" be runnin&

!$e s$ow an" w$i!es woul" be !$eir servan!s# T$a!s &alifornia !o"ay8 ;eve live" !o see !$is lu"icrous

an" une9%ec!e" inversion o %ower8 T$e 6?ew Jim <row a%%lies !o w$i!es- now85

I $a!e !alkin& abou! race issues#5 +ivian was ac!ually &e!!in& $orny# /$e wore a &rass skir! an"

!$a! %lease" $er# T$ere were mean "runks in !$e worl"# T$ere were $a%%y "runks# +iv el! more se*y !$e

more s$e "rank#

Here I am wi!$ blue eyes an" $air !o my s$oul"ers# I $ave acial $air### an" I won"er i I" $ave a

=ob i i! weren! or your a!$er#5 le!c$er kisse" +ivian# T$e Moon was ull an" almos! "irec!ly over$ea"#

7our eyes look sooooo nice#5



<an we !alk abou! !$ese !$in&s la!er4 I woul" really like !o !ry some $ulu "ancin&85 /$e !ook

le!c$er by !$e $an" an" !$ey "ance" or !$e ne9! cou%le o $ours# T$e ollowin& "ay- !$ey cau&$! a li&$!

!o Aos 'n&eles# T$ey ma"e !ime !o visi! -irate,s &ove in ?ew%or! because !$ey" been "iscussin&

@illi&ans Islan"# '!er some s$o%%in&- !$ey %asse" by !$e /$oreline 7ac$! <lub# By early a!ernoon- !$ey

"rove alon& ran&e 'venue an" oun" !$emselves in <os!a Mesa# le!c$er s!ill el! worn ou! an" wan!e" !o

no" o in !$e %assen&ers sea!# +ivian $un& a le! a! 'lber! ,lace# ;$ere are we &oin&45 le!c$ aske"#

/ur%rise85 +ivian el! a sense o ver!i&o# 'n ol" %al rom our %as! is mee!in& us a! otel @ #5

T$eir 'l!ima !urne" in!o !$e %arkin& lo!#

'urprise4 I $o%e i!s &oo"85 le!c$er rubbe" $is eyes#

Room 213# I $o%e $es $ere#5 T$e cou%le e9i!e" !$e car an" walke" u% !$e s!airs# 8ene%uela#

T$a!s your $in!#5

<oul" i! be your sis!er4 ?o# ;ai!# 7ou sai" 6$e- ri&$!45 le!c$er looke" "own a! !$e %ool# He

el! like swimmin& all o a su""en#

+ivian knocke" a! !$e "oor# Thump# thump# thump$thump$thump# /$e wai!e"# T$e "oor o%ene"# "ey85 T$e &uy a! !$e "oor sai"# Hey8 I $aven! seen you in###5

Eddie85 le!c$er sai"# +ene.uela- BBC8 ;$a!re you "oin& $ere4 ;$a!s &oin& on45 le!c$er

sla%%e" $an"s an" embrace" !$is &uy in ron! o $im# Is !$a! +udweiser I smell45

E""ie $an"e" le!c$er a beer# I knew you" wan! one85 He $u&&e" +ivian# 're you in !$e

moo" or one45 He $ea"e" !o !$e res!room# ' !welve%ack o beer sa! in !$e sink surroun"e" by ice# He

&rabbe" !wo col" brews an" $ea" back#

Eddie &allypso8 Ive always love" your name85 +ivian acce%!e" $er beer#

;$a!s !$e si!ua!ion45 E""ie aske"# '!er all !$ese years- I was s!ar!le" !o $ear rom you#5

le!c$ers paranoid -5 +iv e9%laine"# 7ouve &one !$rou&$ !$is worse#5

-aranoia45 E""ie aske"# 6 =ust because your paranoid don,t mean they,re not after you###

Remember !$a! ?irvana lyric45

+ivian !urne" !owar" le!c$er# He $as i! !oo# T$a! !$in& w$ere $e eels like $es bein& wa!c$e"###

an" !ellin& %lan!s !o move### an" !alkin& !o re%or!ers "urin& live news### an" no!icin& res%onses rom !$em

!$a! seem si&niican!#5 +iv c$u&&e" $al !$e beer s$e" been &iven# He says well no!ice bein& ollowe"

i we &o !o lunc$ wi!$ $im# I!s like### people know who he is but they won,t say his name#5

7ou $ave a $un"re" !$ousan" 7ouTube views- E""ie85 le!c$er looke" aroun" !$e otel @ room#

I! was lackin& com%are" !o !$e %lace $a" !$ey s!aye" in Hawaii bu! i! el! *uain! or some s!ran&e reason#

Maybe %eo%le do know w$o you are85

7ea$#5 E""ie o%ene" u% !$e "oor# T$eres a wor" calle" 6%ro%ensi!y# I!s use" by s!a!is!icians#

I you li% a coin a $un"re" !imes- !$eres a propensity or !$ere !o be rou&$ly $al $ea"s- rou&$ly $al !ails#

course- i!s rarely a "irec! i!yi!y s%li!### bu! i !$ere were ei&$!y $ea"s an" !wen!y !ails- well### that

would be an anomaly# I &e! ollowe" %laces# By cars- by %eo%le# Ill be in a marke! an" uckers will s!o%

"irec!ly in ron! o me %re!en"in& !$a! Im no! !$ere#5



'n" !$is is all4 ,robably no!- ri&$!4 I wan! !o $ear abou! !$e more %eculiar !$in&s# T$e

$elico%!ers !$a! ollow you w$en !ravelin& !o !$e "eser!# I wan! !o $ear abou! !$a!# I "on! &e! i! is all# I!s

$a%%enin& !o me on some level### bu! I "on! &e! i!#5

Ae!s roll-5 E""ie sai"# Try !o no!ice !$in&s or %eo%le in !$e "is!ance# Try !o no!ice a propensity

o %eo%le or cars closin& in on us# Im no! a celebri!y### bu! Im &uessin& !$is is w$a! i! eels like !o be

sco%e" by %a%s# Im no criminal# Im &uessin& fugitives eel like !$is# I "on! &e! i!- ei!$er#5

+ivians beer was "one# Im rea"y85

T$e -ig,s Ear wasn! ar# +ivian "rove# I !$ey weren! in !$e mi""le o a social e9%erimen!- !$ey

mi&$!ve s!o%%e" !$ere# Ins!ea"- !$ey $ea"e" u% ,<H !owar" Hun!in&!on# T$e %ier was on Main /!ree!# '

cou%le o blocks inlan" on ;alnu! was BJs Res!auran! an" Brew$ouse# T$a! was !$eir "es!ina!ion# E""ie

was in !$e back sea! o !$e car# Ae! me know i you s!ar! eelin& claus!ro%$obic# I!s &oin& !o eel like

%eo%le wan! !o swarm our car like bees#5

Or %ombies-5 le!c$er sai"# He brou&$! a beer rom !$e mo!el# 7ea$# I eel something #5

;$a! is i!45 +ivian aske"# ;$a! is it 4 I!s like bein& on !$e se! o a movie wi!$ ba"ly!raine"e9!ras# T$ey wan! !o look a! us# I know !$ey "o85 ,arkin& was $eck# +ivian .i%%e" alon& ;alnu! !owar"

T$ir"# i" you do some!$in&- E""ie45

I $ave el! like !$is since we were in +ene.uela# I won"ere" i !$e &overnmen! %u! us un"er

surveillance or some o"" reason# "ugo &have% was elec!e" w$en we were "own !$ere# I "on! know#5 '

cars reverse li&$!s came on# T$eres a &rea! s%o!85

+ivians %arallel %arkin& wasn! !oo s$abby# T$e !$ree &o! ou! o !$e car# ;$a!re we su%%ose"

!o be lookin& or4 Is !$ere any co"e" lan&ua&e !o use45

Have you seen !$ose movies w$ere s%ies are back!oback in an obscure li*uor s!ore bu! !$eyre

s%eakin& !o eac$ o!$er w$ile lookin& a! %ro"uc!s in ron! o 6em4 <ameras or wi!nesses- ri&$!4 iscrete

s!u# 7oull $ear %eo%le commen! on your clothes### bu! !$eyll be lookin& a! !$eir ki"s# ,eo%lell ri&i"ly

c$an&e conversa!ion !o%ics w$en youre near# They,ll talk about news they think you need to hear #

/ome!imes### !$eyll commen! on w$a! you &o !$rou&$ in lie# I you ran ou! o !oile! %a%er in your $ouse

an" no one $as any way !o know !$a!### !$eyll s%eak o i!#5

7ou do soun" %aranoi"- bu"-5 le!c$er sai"# I I wasn! e9%eriencin& a rac!ion o !$is- I" say

you los! i!85

BJs was a &rea! %lace !o sam%le beers# n !$eir menu- !$ere was an o%!ion !o or"er seven s$o!s o

various im%or!s an" $i&$en" brew# ;$en or"ere"- !$ese s$o!s sa! on a ma! in"ica!in& w$ic$ eac$ one was#

:sually- !$e s$o!s o beer woul" !i% %a!rons !owar" w$ic$ %i!c$er !o or"er# T$e res!auran! $a" an e9*uisi!e

%i..a selec!ion# +iv- le!c$er an" E""ie or"ere" one wi!$ &rille" c$icken an" alre"o sauce# +ivian looke"

aroun"# ?o!$in& was really- really ou! o %lace# /!ill- s$e el! uneasy# Is !$ere some!$in& Im su%%ose

!o###45

' wai!ress in!erru%!e" $er# Heres your &arlic brea"#5

T$ey won! "o i! because !$ey know were wa!c$in& !$em back# I!s no! only $ere in <aliornia



!$a! I &e! i!# Ive $a" !$is $a%%en many %laces# <$ica&o- ?ew 7ork# 'n" !$e more %eo%le Im wi!$- !$e

less i! $a%%ens>!$e less brash !$ey are# Bu! &ive i! i!een minu!es8 In any i!een minu!e %erio"- !$ey

break# T$ey always do# /ome!$in& reakys &onna $a%%en# 7oure &oin& !o say- 6What is this0 The

Twilight )one45

I &e! i!-5 le!c$er sai"# I!s !$e in!erne!- some$ow- bu!###5

4ou don,t get it# do you45 +ivian aske"# /$e "rank a swee! s$o! o beer rom !$e selec!ion in

ron! o $er# T$is one8 Ae!s &e! a %i!c$er o### ;$a! is !$is4 "efewei%en Wheat 85 /$e la&&e" "own !$e

wai!ress# Heewei.en ;$ea! %i!c$er4 -lease#5

7es# course#5

T$e wai!ress looke" like s$e $a" a lo! &oin& on# +ivian a"mire" $er &race wi!$ !$e %ace o $er

work# In $er le! $an"- s$e $el" a %la!e o s%a&$e!!i# In $er ri&$! $an"- s$e $el" a %i!c$er o wa!er an"

reille" cu%s $ere an" !$ere# ;$a! am I su%%ose" !o be eelin&- E""ie45

Aike I sai"- i!s weir" aroun" me### bu! i!s propensity# T$eres some!$in& calle" 6irony an" I

e9%erience i! *ui!e o!en# ;$en I !$ink !$e &rou% aroun" mes &onna &o ba! cra%- !$ey ac! normal# 8iceversa#5

;$a! is !$is %$enomenon45 +ivian inis$e" !$e i!$ o $er seven beer s$o!s# I !$is is real-

why45

I can! i&ure i! ou!# I $ave !$is %ombie metaphor i"ea#5 E""ie barely inis$e" $is secon" beer

s$o!# I! was a "ark beer# He $a" been %reoccu%ie" wi!$ lookin& or unusual si&ns# T$ere are %eo%le like

you an" me### an" 7letcher # ;eve !ravele" !$e worl" bu! were no! celebri!ies# I eel like I $ave a !ar&e!

on my c$es!# I eel like %eo%le know# I! wasn! like !$is beore in!erne! was everyw$ere# I el! normal as a

ki"#5

;$a!s !$e bi& "eal4 <an! you &e! use" !o i!4 ;$y "o I eel normal an" you &uys "on!45

+ivian like" !$e way !$e res!auran! smelle"# Ao!!a s%ices- some beer- an" &arlic brea"#

I $ave !$is i"ea !$a! i!s because youre an a!!rac!ive &irl# I !$ink eyes $ave been on you your

w$ole lie# is$ in wa!er# o !$ey know !$eyre in wa!er i !$ey never come !o !$e surace or reac$ lan"45

le!c$ers observa!ion cau&$! E""ies a!!en!ion# 3ight 45

7ea$# T$a! mi&$! be i!# I you ever el! normal> one of them >one o !$e many###5 Har"

lau&$!er was $ear" rom be$in" E""ie# This is what /,m talking about# 8ivian8 T$eyve been lis!enin&

!$is w$ole !ime85

'hut up85 a mo!$er sai" !o $er %re!een c$il"# 7ou can! say !$a!85 /$e was !$e la"y w$o" been

lau&$in& in !$e boo!$ be$in" +iv- le!c$er an" E""ie#

T$a!s w$a! Im talking abou!- +iv85 E""ie sai"# T$eyre !ellin& us !o s$u! u%8>or me8>bu!

!$eyre %re!en"in& !$eyre !alkin& !o eac$ o!$er85

T$is is no bi& "eal- Eddie85 +ivian reac$e" or !$e inal %iece o &arlic brea"# ,eo%le do !$is8

7oure no! %aranoi"85 T$en s$e w$is%ere"- T$ey $ave manners8 T$a!s all85

;$y "o I believe !$ey ollow me $ome4 ;$o am I !$a! I s$oul" &e! !$eir a!!en!ion45 T$e



wai!ress walke" u% wi!$ !$eir %i!c$er o beer# E""ie !$anke" $er !$en ke%! on- T$ere are rickin

helicopters over my $ea" in o"" %laces8 i"n! you say le!c$er was &oin& !$rou&$ !$is4 T$ere are vans in

ron! o my $ouse a! !imes8 ;$en I !ake o- !$ey ollow me8 ;$a! !$e $eck45

I "on! !$ink i!s all !$e same %eo%le-5 +ivian sai"# I wan! !o s%en" !ime wi!$ you an" le!c$er

or a week# Maybe we can s%en" !ime in risco# I wan! !o see more o !$is#5

Thank you# +ivian-5 le!c$er sai"# 7ou know w$en I s!ar!e" !o eel cra.y4 ;$en I !$ou&$! I

coul"n! !alk abou! i!# T$en you brou&$! me !o E""ie w$o says $es &oin& !$rou&$ !$e same e9ac! !$in&#5

?o %roblem# I !$ink you !wo nee" !o un"ers!an" !$a! !$eres a new 6normal# ,eo%le kee%

!alkin& abou! i!# 7es- i!s !$e smar! %$ones an" !$e in!erne!# Things won,t ever be the same# 'n" maybe

you $ave a %oin! abou! !$e 6is$ ou! o wa!er !$in&# Ive always been a ocal %oin! w$erever Ive &one#

My %aren!s4 ;$a!ever# Ive $a" %eo%le aroun" me my w$ole lie#5

Im use" !o "oin& !$e wa!c$in&-5 le!c$er sai"# I !$ink Im !$e wa!c$e"- now#5

/ame $ere-5 E""ie sai"# I "on! know w$a! $a%%ene" besi"es &rowin& ol"#5

Old 4 ;ere in our !$ir!ies8 <ome on85 +ivian lau&$e"# le!c$er %oure" a mu& o Heewei.enor $er- !$en %oure" some or $imsel an" E""ie# +ivian su&&es!e"- Maybe we s$oul" s!roll !o !$e en" o

!$e %ier a!er !$is# 7ace your fear - you know45

4eah#5 E""ie was almos! sarcas!ic# 7ea$# T$a!s !$e way !o &o85 He wan!e" !o "o i!- bu! $e

s!ill el! like alien an!ennae %ro!ru"e" rom !$e !o% o $is $ea"# He coul"n! s$ake !$e eelin& !$a! many-

many eyes were always on $im# I" love !o see !$e ocean#5

Be!ween me an" you- E""ie4 I !$ink !alkin& abou! !$is cra%%y eelin& is !$e only way i! &oes

away#5 le!c$ slur%e" $is beer# I! !as!e" &oo"#

T$e !rio inis$e" !$eir lunc$ !$en s!ru!!e" !owar" !$e %ier# T$e walk was nice- !$e sky was clear-

an" many %eo%le $a" is$in& lines cas! in!o !$e sea# ;$en !$ey reac$e" 3uby,s iner a! !$e ar en"- !$ey

were &la" !$ey alrea"y a!e# Masses o !ouris!s wai!e" or an $our ou!si"e =us! !o be sea!e"# ' cou%le o

"ays la!er- !$e !$ree ol" bu""ies were walkin& alon& ,ier 3F in /an rancisco# Aie "i"n! eel com%le!ely

abnormal# T$ey la!er oun" !$emselves in a otel @ near Ai!!le /ai&on# nce a&ain- !$ey "rank !welve

ounce Bu"weisers rom c$ille" bo!!les# My lie is a oneei&$!y since we me! u% in +ene.uela-5 E""ie sai"#

Ive been institutionali%ed # Ive s%oken wi!$ %resi"en!ial /ecre! /ervice a ew !imes# Ive been !$rown in

men!al $eal!$# Ive &one !o jail # I swear### I $aven! "one any!$in& wron&#5

Witch hunt 45 le!c$er aske"# I you" !ol" me !$ese !$in&s ive years a&o- I woul"ve labelle"

you as cra.y# Aas! mon!$4 I was in In"iana !akin& %ic!ures o a concen!ra!ion cam%#5

/ome loony %ara%syc$olo&y s!u"en!s !ol" me !$a! Aaura Bus$ s%ies on me !$rou&$ !ele%a!$y-5

+ivian con!ribu!e"# /$e el! "umb bu! s$e wan!e" !$e &uys !o believe s$e was wi!$ !$em on some level#

7our 7ouTube c$annel45 le!c$er aske" E""ie# ' $un"re" !$ousan" %lus views# A separatist #

7ou wan! <aliornia !o sece"e rom !$e :nion by 202G# I wa!c$e" your !$in& on 1ATO# 6I !$eres a ?or!$

'!lan!ic Trea!y r&ani.a!ion- w$y "on! we $ave some!$in& on !$e -acific si"e4 you aske"# 7ou !$ink

;as$in&!on- < is as !em%oral as 3ome w$en i! was !$e Holy Roman Em%ire# Too much of an East &oast



bias in our na!ional %oli!ics# 'lmos! all %resi"en!s- as o la!e- are 7ale or Harvar" &ra"s# ' conspiracy45

I!s no! a cons%iracy- bu! !$ey "on! res%ec! us-5 E""ie sai"# Marvin Bus$ was !$e $ea" o

securi!y a! !$e Twin Towers on nine eleven#5

Who,s arvin +ush45 +ivian aske"#

T$a!s my point 8 Har"ly anyone knows8 Hes @eor&e ;s bro!$er8 ' orbes &uy sai" !$a!

securi!y cameras were !urne" o in !$e &uise o u%"a!in& in!erne! lines a! !$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er in !$e

"ays beore !$e %lanes $i!# i" anyone in !$e me"ia even try !o cover !$is4 T$e buil"in&s came "own in

%erec! reeall# irei&$!ers claime" !$ey saw a series o las$es### as in %re%lanne" "e!ona!ions# Mol!en

s!eel burne" or nine!ynine "ays# ' %$ysics %roessor !ook sam%les o "us! collec!e" rom a nearby

a%ar!men!# Thermite was "iscovere"# 'ny ra!ional %erson knows i! was a con!rolle" even!# 'n" !$e s!eel

!$a! was le!4 ;$iske" away# +aosteel in <$ina bou&$! !$e s!u or a $un"re" an" !wen!y "ollars %er !on#

?o one was allowe" near i! !o !es! or irre&ulari!ies#5

;e were in Hawaii recen!ly-5 +ivian !ol" E""ie# '! a luau- I !ol" le!c$ I $a!e "iscussin& race

issues# T$is makes me eel weir" as well#5;eve &o!!a $i! i! on !$e $ea" now# ;$y live a lie4 I !ol" you abou! 6%ro%ensi!y an" 6anomaly#

Heres a new wor" 6%re"ica!ion# T$e w$ole !$in&s a $ouse o car"s- you see4 I we can es!ablis$ !$a!

nine eleven was an insi"e =ob- we can elimina!e !$e T/' a! air%or!s !$a! eel u% mo"els w$en !$ey &o

!$rou&$ c$eck%oin!s# ;e can en" !$e police state !$a!s en&ule" our coun!ry# ;e can be ree a&ain# ' ew

$ea"s will roll- bu! !$a!s always &one on#5

,re"ica!ion45 le!c$er aske"# ,re"ica!e" on a youn& Ear!$>le!s say si9 !$ousan" years ol">

!$e ,ro!es!an! minis!ers con!rol !$e min"s o 'merican masses- correc!45

More s%eciically- !$e evan&elical un"amen!alis!s### bu! yes# 7oure ri&$! an" you un"ers!an"#5

Ai!!le /ai&on wasn! ar# I woul" relis$ !$e c$ance !o come alon& on one o your a"ven!ures# I !$ink i!s

nea! w$a! you came across in /uma!ra# I !$ink i!s won"erul !$a! +iv wen! !o Mali# I wan! in#5

ur %roblem is !$e &uys in !$e Jus!ice e%ar!men!# i" you know !$a! @eor&e Bus$> the first

one >$a" a &uy workin& as /ecre!ary o !$e In!erior w$om believe" !$a! environmen!al %roblems were no!

im%or!an!4 T$e comin& o Jesus is imminen!- you see4 ;$y i9 our coun!rys %roblems4 James ;a!!s !$e

"u"e Im !alkin& abou!#5 le!c$er looke" a! !$e !ension on E""ies ace# He "i"n! seem !o un"ers!an"#

T$ose same uck balls are s!ill il!erin& !$e %eo%le allowe" abroa"8 T$ey "on! wan! liberals8 Aiberals are

!$e ones w$o &e! alon& wi!$ !$e na!ives in many %laces- !$ou&$# < is ull o ol"- ou!o!ouc$ wankers8

o you believe you coul" &e! a %ass%or! !o visi! +ie!nam or <$ina4 T$ey wan! ruians ou! !$ere !wis!in&

an" beli!!lin& !$e locals# T$ey nee" more -epsi sol" ou! !$ere# ;ere $ea"in& ou! or $uman ri&$!s### or

=us! !o $ave a &oo" !ime# T$a!s no! &oo" enough or !$em#5

/o !$ey s!i&ma!i.e us as la.y or insane- ri&$!45 E""ie "rank rom $is beer# +ivian &o! u% an" sa!

a! !$e e"&e o a be" near !$e win"ow an" &a.e" ou!si"e# Ais!en8 Ive been wa!c$in& !$e news wi!$ all

!$ese %eo%le a%%lyin& !o ei&$!y %laces an" no luck en!erin& !$e workorce# Ive $a" !o "o some cra.y

!$in&s mysel# 7ou &uys are lucky# I! makes me $a%%y !$a! %eo%le can s!ill &o ou! an" abou! wi!$ou! losin&



all "i&ni!y# ;$a! is !$eir mo!iva!ion- le!c$er4 7ou s%oke wi!$ a c$a% rom !$e <I' in Beec$ @rove#

&ornelius 'tuart. Tell me abou! $im8 i" $e &ive you clues45

I!s no! $is aul!- bu! $es %ar! o !$e %roblem# I!s a %$enomenon- in a lo! o ways# I!s !$e an&ry

mob !$a! c$ases 7rankenstein# I!s !$e ri&$!ene" $er" o ca!!le !$a!s &onna s!am%e"e o a cli# I!s s!u%i"

%eo%le !$a! !$ink in s!rai&$! lines# Aas! year- !$eir $ome was value" a! nine!y !$ousan" "ollars# T$is year-

i!s a $un"re" !$ousan"- even# ?e9! year4 I!s got !o be wor!$ a $un"re" an" !en !$ousan"8 Ae!s be! !$e

arm on i!8 T$ese !$in&s &o in cycles#5

/o a bunc$ o uck $ea"s &e! in!o %ower !$e le&i! way### !$rou&$ "emocracy# 'n" !$en w$a!4

T$eyll kill- lie- s!eal- c$ea! an" every!$in& else !o s!ay !$ere45 E""ie was &e!!in& a bi! ma"# I !$ou&$! I

$a" !$is i&ure" ou!# 7ou know some!$in&- !$ou&$85

emocracy4 T$a!s a =oke- bu! i!s %ar! o i!# T$e asons !$a! @eor&e ;as$in&!on was %ar! o

never really c$an&e"# T$eyll ben"### bu! !$eyll be "amne" i !$eyll break !$eir core co"es# T$eyll !ell us

!$a! !$a! all men are crea!e" e*ual bu! you know !$e !ru!$ abou! !$eir a!!i!u"es an" be$aviors# I i! walks

like a "uck an" !alks like a "uck- i!s a "uck### right 4 T$eyve !alke" abou! inclusion- meri!- an" incen!ivean awul lo!# I!s been a long !ime since I" !ake 6em a! !$eir wor"# I "on! wan! !o believe were curse" by

!$eir e9is!ence bu! I can! wra% my min" aroun" any!$in& else# I !$ink were wa!c$in& a c$an&in& o !$e

&uar"- in a lo! o ways# I! mi&$! be a cou%le o &enera!ions- !$ou&$- beore anyone eels free in !$is lan"

a&ain# o you remember we coul" %ull over !o !$e si"e o !$e roa" an" !ake a %iss in a bus$45

4ep85 E""ie lau&$e"#

;$y "o I see police officers in my $ea" w$en my bla""er s!ar!s !o swell w$ile "rivin& "own !$e

roa"4 T$e 6 ream -olice rom <$ea% Trick- yea$4 ne o !$ese "ays- Im &onna in" a !ree !o %ee on an"

some wacko wi!$ a ba"&e is &onna club my lower s%ine wi!$ $is ni&$! s!ick4 I s$oul" be able !o s$oo !$a!

vision easily ou! o my $ea"- yes4 Bu! I can!# I $ol" my uckin %iss in 6!il Im a! a &rimy &as s!a!ion wi!$

s!inky !oile!s an" no ba!$room !issue85

7ouve &o! an ima&ina!ion-5 E""ie sai"# rinkin& an" "rivin&4 Is !$a! !$e si!ua!ion w$y" you

%ull over4 T$a! was !$e case w$en we were youn&er on our way !o TJ8 ,issin& ou! !$e win"ow in a

caravan o cars# 3emember that 45

What 45 +ivian aske"# /$e !urne" *uickly aroun"# ;$a!45

7ea$# 7ou weren! !$ere- $oney-5 le!c$er !ol" $er# T$is is %robably a week a!er &ra"ua!ion i I

remember correc!ly# ;e s%en! "ollars a! a s!ri% club o o 3evoluciDn. un# Ao!!a fun#5

I remember workin& a! a %i..a =oin! !$a! year# I recall bein& !em%!e" !o s!eal rom !$e cas$

re&is!er# I! coul"ve been "one easily# 'll anyone $a" !o "o was si&niy a !ransac!ion as an overrin&#

nce in a w$ile- %eo%le woul" cancel an or"er or we woul" !y%e in an incorrec! %rice# I !$e mana&er

wasn! in !$e s!ore- we were !rus!e" !o !ear ou! !$e !a%e an" circle !$e in%u!!e" amoun! rom !$e recei%!#

T$a! way- !$e books woul" balance a! !$e en" o !$e ni&$! because we" be less cas$ or w$a! !$e mac$ine

%rin!e"# I "i"n! do i!- !$ou&$# /omeones $i=acke" our &overnmen!8 ;$oever i! is "oesn! $ave a sense o

ri&$! or wron&8 I wan! !o $un! "own !$a! nine eleven s!eel# +aosteel in <$ina4 I $ear" !$a! some o i! wen!



!o 'rica# I "on! !$ink !$e cons%iracy is as wi"es%rea" as i! use" !o be>!$is w$ole "eal a&ains! youn&s!ers

or liberals# I !$ink we can !ravel# I almos! !$ink someone wan!s !$e real !ru!$ !o come ou!# Malaysia

recen!ly $a" a ?urember& kin" o !rail a&ains! <$eney an" Bus$# /n abstentia# !$ey oun" !$em !o be war

criminals# esmon" Tu!u $as concurre" !$a! !$eyre villains# Me4 I! was an insi"e =ob# T$ey !rie" !o

cover u% nine eleven# I!s $ar" !o know "e!ails w$en###5 E""ie was sur%rise" $e &o! !$is ar s%eakin&# He

$a"n! come across many %eo%le willin& !o s%eak abou! !$is sub=ec! w$ic$ was so clear in $is own lie#

They,re the top of the food chain# basically# 's %ower &oes- w$os &oin& !o !o%%le ro&ue Re%ublicans

wi!$in !$e ,en!a&on4 ;$o kills !$e lion in !$e savanna$4 I wa!c$e" a "ocumen!ary no! lon& a&o w$ere

hyenas a!!ack a %ri"e o lions# I coul"n! believe my eyes### bu! !$a!s %robably rare#5

,a! Buc$anans an!asy a! a !ime was !o win !$e %resi"ency an"- as Bill <lin!on was ceremonially

swearin& $im in!o %ower- $e" !ell $im- 64ou,re under arrest 8 T$ere was suc$ a bi& "eal ma"e abou! a

s!ain on a "ress# T$ese ri&&in %erver!s %rie" in!o a mans social lie an" wan!e" !o im%eac$ $im on !$e

&uise o %er=ury### bu! !$ey wan!e" $is neck all alon&# +ill broke-5 +ivian sai"# I !$ink $e became one o

them# He %re!en"s nine eleven was "one by merely nine!een $i=ackin& !erroris!s# He knows !$e !ru!$857ou &e! w$a!s &oin& on $ere8 T$ese guys- as !$eyre ri"in& in!o !$e sunse!- "on! care8 To9ic

was!e in our lakes4 ver%o%ula!ion4 'n economy worse !$an any!$in& Ive rea"### including the (reat

epression8 T$eyre &oin& !o "ie### an" I "on! !$ink !$ey care#5

/o w$a!s !$e %lan- E""ie45 T$e room !$ey ren!e" $a" !wo *ueensi.e" be"s# +ivian re!urne" !o

!$e one near !$e ba!$room w$ere le!c$ an" E""ie were si!!in&# ;$a! are we &onna "o4 Me an" le!c$4

;eve been a! !$is since our =unior year in $i&$ sc$ool# ;e &o ou! an" !ackle w$a! we can# ;e vaca!ion in

!$e &aribbean# T$en we &o ou! a&ain# I "on! !$ink were makin& a "en! in !$e worl"s %roblems in !$e

&ran"er sc$eme o !$in&s bu! i! makes us eel &oo"# ;$a!s your %lan45

My %lan4 I "on! know# I =us! wan! in# I "on! believe Ill make any "ierence- ei!$er# I" like

!o believe Im on !$e ri&$! si"e o !$in&s#5 ' ew secon"s %asse" wi!$ou! anyone %ee%in& a wor"# I!

mi&$! soun" s!u%i" or clic$ bu! I wan! !o slee% be!!er a! ni&$!#5

Im wi!$ you- man85 le!c$er sai"# I" love !o c$eck ou! !$e @roun" ero s!eel !$a! was s$i%%e"

!o <$ina an" In"ia### an"- o course- !$e rumore" s!u !$a! woun" u% in 'rica# ;e coul" "o a "ocumen!ary

ilm# I !$ey were "isman!lin& !$a! concen!ra!ion cam% in Beec$ @rove !$en maybe !$eyre c$an&in& !$eir

min"s abou! o!$er issues# Aies %revaile" or a lon& !ime# Maybe !$eyre rea"y or !$e !ru!$ ou! !$ere#5

I" love !o &o85 +ivian sai"# I was =us! in 'rica- E""ie# 7ou" like i!#5

'ounds like fun-5 E""ie sai"#

T$e !$ree o !$em "rank beer or ano!$er $al $our# +ivian *ui! "rinkin& a!er $er !$ir" one# T$ey

a&ree" !o ski% !own an" "rive u% !o ,or!lan"# n !$e way- !$ey" "iscuss a more ocuse" %lan or &oin&

abou! !$eir lives# T$ey $a" barely reac$e" /an!a Rosa =us! nor!$ o risco w$en +ivian s%oke u%# I $ave a

ba" eelin& abou! !$is- &uys# I! =us! seems like were &e!!in& sucke" in!o someone elses "rama# I! almos!

eels like a trap#5

E""ie aske"- o you remember w$a! our 'merican @overnmen! !eac$er c$allen&e" us !o "o in



our senior year4 He sai" !o &o in!o +arnes 1oble an" !ake accoun! o !$eir %oli!ical sec!ion# o you

remember "oin& !$a! !o&e!$er4 In an economy w$ic$ was in !$e black or !$e irs! !ime in a &enera!ion-

ei&$! ou! o !en books on !$e racks slamme" Bill <lin!on or some reason or ano!$er# T$e !wo %ro<lin!on

books were wri!!en by Hillary an" Bill# I bou&$! /t Takes A 8illage !$a! "ay# I can! say Im im%resse" by

!$em- bu! Im !erriie" by !$eir oes#5

7ea$45 +ivian aske"# ;$a!s !$a! $ave !o "o wi!$ !$is !ri% !o re&on45

Im wi!$ you- +iv-5 E""ie sai"# T$e o""s are s!acke" a&ains! w$a! we wan!# ;e all know i!#

T$ey %oke- !$ey %ro"# I eel i! !oo>!$a! were s!e%%in& in!o a !ra%# Apathy# T$ey say our &enera!ion $as

apathy# Ive s%en! yearsonen" !ryin& !o res!ore !$is &overnmen! !o some!$in& I can be %rou" o#5

I "isa&ree wi!$ you- Eddie- !$a! i!s useless# Remember w$en Bilbo Ba&&ins no!ice" a scale &one

in !$e lyin& "ra&on4 We have to find that # 'r! relec!in& lie# Im wi!$ you bo!$ i ya wan! !o $i! %lan B#

I were no! on !$e same %a&e- well &e! smas$e" w$en we ace our "emons#5 le!c$ searc$e" !$e ra"io#

,ull a :ey i you wan!- +iv#5

Hey8 I "on! wan! !o be !$e only one w$o "eci"es### bu! I !$ink we ou&$! !o !$ink abou!###5 'son& %laye" !$a! s$e like"# Tom T Halls I Aove5# /$e smacke" le!c$ers $an"# Aeave i! !$ere8

Remember !$is one4 'nyone45

/ love leaves in the wind... -ictures of my friends.. +irds of the world... and '>uirrels-5 le!c$er

san&# course I remember85 +ivians a!$er $a" an e9!ensive vinyl recor" collec!ion# T$ey &o! in!o

i&&y /!ar"us!- ,ink loy"- !$e /cor%ions an" o!$ers rom lis!enin& !o scra!c$y albums#

E""ie =oine" in rom !$e back# / love coffee in a cup... 6ittle fu%%y pups... +ourbon in a glass...

And grass... And / looooooove you- too: ,erec! roa" son&8 Takes me back#5

+ivian san&- / love honest open smiles... ?isses from a child... Tomatoes on a vine... And

onions85 /$e smile" an" e9i!e" !$e 101 reeway# ;ere &oin& !o Euro isney8 ;e are no! &oin& !o i&$!

a uckin mac$ine !$a! "oesn! bu"&e8 ?o! a! !$is %oin! in our lives85

7ou know4 ;ere no! alone in e9%eriencin& more !error rom our own &overnmen! during the

two thousands !$an rom some %$an!om boo&eyman# @eor&e H; Bus$ me! wi!$ sama bin Aa"ens

brother a! !$e Ri!.<arl!on in < on !$e "ay o !$e a!!acks8 &arlyle (roup: Illumina!i8 Templar 8

ominan! $e&emony8 'uperstructure8 Ro&ue Re%ublicans8 Masons8 /ecre! socie!y8 ?ew ;orl" r"er8

<all !$em w$a! ya wan!8 T$ey ca!e&ori.e !$emselves base" o economics8 'n" you can! =us! win !$e

lo!!ery an" =oin !$eir s%ecial &rou%s8 7ou $ave !o be old money s!ee%e" in maniac !ra"i!ions an" $a!re"

w$ic$ ya can! !race !$e source o85 le!c$ers bloo" reac$e" a simmer# Thank you for driving# 8iv#5

;$ile le!c$er ran!e"- E""ie ke%! sin&in& !$e son&- / love winners when they cry... 6osers when

they try... usic when it,s good... And life: And / looooove you- too:5

+ivian an" le!c$er me! u% wi!$ E""ie in +ene.uela many years back# T$e ollowin& summer-

!$ey vaca!ione" in ,aris# +ivian aske"- Is your renc$ %ass%or! u%!o"a!e45 /$e looke" a! E""ie !$rou&$

!$e rearview mirror# Is i! on you45

course8 ;e can work on a <$inese %ass%or! some o!$er !ime i ya wan! !o ollow !$rou&$



wi!$ "ocumen!in& !$e nine eleven s!eel# 'lso- I "on! $ave any!$in& or 'rica# /ome!ime la!er- i nee"

be#5

T$is is !$e way !o &o- &uys85 +ivian el! &rea!# Ae!s su%%ose youre ri&$!- le!c$# Ae!s

su%%ose !$e Taliban is really an arm o ro&ue Re%ublicans in !$e ?/'# ;ere obligated !o &o !o rance-

ri&$!4 !$erwise- !$e !erroris!s $ave won85

4es8 3ogue8 7ou bo!$ $ave reerre" !o !$is $i""en &rou% !$a! everyone sus%ec!s e9is!s as

6rogue8 o you remember 6The Warriors rom you "a"s +H/ collec!ion- +iv45 /$e no""e"- !$en

le!c$er sai"- The 3ogues were one o !$e &an&s8 Im no! sayin& i!s a clue !o %erceivin& $ow !$ese

secre!ive %eo%le o%era!e- bu! maybe we can call !$em that ### w$enever !$e sub=ec! comes u%- e$45

I like i!85 E""ie rus!le" le!c$ers $air rom be$in"# ;e can be !$e +aseball 7uries8 Ae!s &rab

ba!s an" %ain! our aces now85

;$y woul" we no! be !$e 6i%%ies# E""ie45 /$e looke" back a&ain !$rou&$ !$e rearview#

T$e 6i%%ies4 ;ere in /an rancisco an" many &uys &o in "ra&# T$is woul" be !$e %lace8 I like

+aseball 7uries- !$ou&$85Baseball uries i! is85 le!c$er claime"#

o I &e! a vo!e- le!c$er4 Im always &onna be ou!numbere" or &en"er issues wi!$ you !wo8

T$is ou&$! !o be unanimous85

're you serious45 E""ie aske"#

7es8 I am### bu! I like +aseball 7uries8 I!s cool### bu! le!s no! "o !$is in rance# I mean- i I

$ave !o use !$e res!room- were no! %ullin& over !o a bus$8 Okay45 +ivian was ac!ually =okin& bu! s$e

won"ere" w$a! !$e !ri% woul" be like# /$e $a"n! el! !$is vibran! in a lon&- lon& !ime#

kay85 E""ie was &la" !$ey $a" c$an&e" course# ?o %an!y$ose $an&in& rom !$e s$ower85

'erious45 +ivian aske"#

1o8 7ou can "o w$a! ya wan!8 I!s like ol" !imes a&ain85 E""ie s!ar!e" !o no" o bu! $e" $ave

!o "o mos! o $is slee%in& on !$e air%lane# nce !$e @ol"en @a!e Bri"&e was be$in" !$em- !$e air%or!

woul"n! be ar o#

+ivians a!$er $a" been &ivin& $er a %re%ai" +isa "ebi! car" !$e %as! ew years# i!een !$ousan"

"ollars in January an" i!een more in July# /$e %ai" or !$ree irs! class !icke!s !o ,aris# E""ie "i%%e"

imme"ia!ely in!o a "ee% snoo.e once !$e %lane !ook o or a Aa@uar"ia !ranser# +iv el! giddy# /$e

coul"n! remember $avin& !$is emo!ion since early c$il"$oo"# ;$a!s your !ake on !$is all4 7letcher 4

oes !$is mess wi!$ your %lan o wan!in& !o in" purpose45

?o! a! all#5 le!c$er $a" !$e win"ow sea! an" $a" been locke" on !$e movin& ci!ysca%e below#

I was in our!$ &ra"e or so w$en !$e <ol" ;ar en"e"# I remember my "a" !ellin& me !$a! one o !wo

!$in&s woul" $a%%en# ne- !$e :/ woul" "ras!ically scale back i!s mili!ary an" securi!y ou!le!s# 6T$e

,en!a&on mi&$! become a mall some"ay- $e sai"# 6r maybe $ousin& or all !$e urban %oor8 ;i!$ou! !$e

/ovie! :nion an" !$e Eas! Bloc !o con!en" wi!$- w$y s%en" so muc$ w$en i! coul" &o elsew$ere45

Or 45 +ivian aske"# ' s!ewar"ess aske" !$em i !$ey" like bevera&es# +iv re*ues!e" sel!.er



wa!er an" le!c$er %asse"#

r4 T$e o!$er c$oice was !o %ick a new enemy8 Remember !$e "uck in +abe4 T$e one !$a!

crowe" like a roos!er every mornin&4 T$e "u"es in !$e ,en!a&on- accor"in& !o my "a"- nee"e" meaning in

!$e %os!<ol" ;ar worl"# T$ey crowe" like !$e "uck an" a&i!a!e" Muslims### an" liberal 'mericans# T$a!

way !$ey coul" kee% s!uin& !$eir %ocke!s wi!$ !a9 %ayer money85

o you believe !$a!s w$a! $a%%ene"45 +ivian el! %arc$e" an" wan!e" $er "rink# 're you

s!ayin& sober !$e w$ole way !o Euro%e45

o I believe !$a!s w$a! $a%%ene"4 I!s unny because w$en you rea" any blo& abou! nine

eleven- i!s !$e re&ular %eo%le !$a! e9%ress !$e mos! rus!ra!ion abou! common sense *ues!ions w$ic$

weren! aske"# ;$en J was s$o! w$en &hallenger wen! "own w$en ,earl Harbor was a!!acke"###

;$enever weve $a" na!ional !ra&e"y- an ob=ec!ive inves!i&a!ion was always "one wi!$in a week or !wo#

T$e ?ine Eleven <ommission "i"n! s!ar! !$eir inves!i&a!ion un!il four hundred and fifty$one days a!er !$e

cra% $a%%ene"8 I you rea" a %oin! by %oin! by %oin! summary o any o !$ese socalle" Truthers### an" i

you "o scan!y ac!c$eckin&- i! is obvious8 ur &overnmen! =acke" i!s own %eo%le !o main!ain non"emocra!ic %ower#5

're you ma"4 T$e T/' a&en! el! your balls no! even a $al $our a&o# 're you ma"45 +ivian

acce%!e" $er wa!er- o%ene" !$e bo!!le an" "rank# 3efreshing 85

I believe !$ey see us as lives!ock# ;illiam <oo%er- beore $e was s$o! "ea" by 'ri.ona "e%u!ies

!$e mon!$ a!er nine eleven- calle" i! !o a !ee8 Osama bin 6aden would be framed for an attack on 1ew

4ork buildings# How "i" $e know4 o you believe i! was coinci"ence !$a! &overnmen! a&en!s kille" $im4

In A -ale "orse- $e %rovi"es li!era!ure rom many "escribe" secre! or&ani.a!ions# ionis!s reer !o !$e

masses as 6&oyim in !$eir "ocumen!s# ;$a!s !$e wor" mean4 I!s Hebrew or lives!ock# In!erna!ional

businessmen a%%aren!ly coo%!e" !$ese %rac!ices# T$a!s w$ere 6Illumina!i comes in# In!erc$an&eable

wor"s some!imes### bu! !$ey $ave !$eir ris some!imes#5

7ou soun" like a nu!-5 +ivian sai"# I believe you>I &o !$rou&$ i! !o>bu! !$a!s %ar! o !$e

cons%iracy### if there is one- ri&$!4 T$a! we soun" like nu!s or !alkin& abou! i!45

T$is is w$y I wan!e" !o mee! u% wi!$ you in Hawaii# T$ere was a lo! I wan!e" !o &e! o my

c$es!#5 le!c$er reac$e" in!o $is %ocke! or $is i,$one# This85 He o%ene" u% %$o!os# T$ese &uys were

&e!!in i! on- +iv8 T$e worl" aroun" !$em was en"in&### an" !$ey "eci"e" !o make love as !$eir las! ac!ion8

;$y can! we be like !$a!4 I mean- Im willin& !o i&$! !$e beas! i I !$ink were &oin& !o win### bu! !$is

sucks8 I "on! know i Im su%%ose" !o eel &uil!y or &oin& !o Euro isney#5

Wait 4 /$oul" we wai! or !$em !o ki"na% us### like !$eyve "one o!$er %eo%le4 T$e only ones !o

become %ermanen! on !$eir s$i!lis! are !$e ;illiam <oo%ers# ;eve &o!!a %ick our i&$!s an" bi!e o w$a!

we can c$ew# ;e $ave !$ese &u! ins!inc!s or a reason# I we "on! lay o- !$eyll wan! !o swa! us like

lies8 Besi"es### I was a li!!le serious w$en I sai" !$a! !$e !erroris!s $ave won i we "on! celebra!e lie $ere

an" !$ere#5

;$y "o you !$ink !$ey care4 I mean- a &uy &rows $is $air a bi! an" I can $ear !$em screamin&



!$rou&$ !$eir or!iie" walls8 ;$a! is !$e "eal45 le!c$ers a!!en!ion was "rawn back ou! !$e win"ow#

T$e clou"s look so nice# I $ave mi9e" i"eas abou! w$a!s &oin& on#5 In $is $ea"- $e visuali.e" !$e

&remlin rom !$e Twili&$! one on !$e !i% o !$e win&# o you believe in &remlins- +iv45

or !$e res! o !$e li&$! !o !$e Eas! <oas!- !$ey "iscusse" Bi&oo!- sea mons!ers- !rolls- airies an"

o!$er my!$ical c$arac!ers# E""ie sle%! !$e en!ire !ime# nce in ,aris- !$ey c$ecke" in!o !$e Ho!el Au!e!ia

an" res!e"# Beore lon&- !$ey oun" !$emselves in Marnela+alle a! Euro isney- also known as -arc

isneyland # T$ey =o&&e" !o an!asylan" once insi"e !$e &a!es# -eter -an,s 7light was !$eir irs! ri"e o

c$oice# Many %eo%le weren! sure !$a! Euro isney woul" survive bu! i! became a !o% !en a!!rac!ion

worl"wi"e# T$ey "i"n! s%eak a w$ole lo! on !$e way !o 'lices <urious Aabyrin!$# T$ey el! e9ci!e" an"

looke" orwar" !o s!ru!!in& !$rou&$ !$is $e"&eorien!e" ma.e a!!rac!ion# T$e irs! %ar! was ;$i!e Rabbi!s

Hole# T$e c$allen&e wasn! "iicul!# nce !$rou&$- !$e ma.e woul" become !ou&$er an" i! was loca!e" on

$i&$er &roun" so a scenic view o !$e %ark was mo!iva!ion !o &e! !$ere# T$ey %asse" !$rou&$ <a!er%illars

Mus$room Aair an" &o! !o <$es$ire <a! ;alk wi!$ou! a %roblem# +ivian wan!e" !o s!o% !o savor !$e

momen!# This is so incredible- s$e !$ou&$!# Ins!ea" o c$a!!in&- !$ey wen! alon& an" reac$e" KueensMa.e w$ere !$e Kueen woul" %o% ou! an" say- wi!$ !$eir $ea"s85 T$e &oal was !o reac$ !$e cas!le in

!$e mi""le w$ere- rom !$e !o%- !$e bes! view came# nce a! !$e cas!le- !$ey were s!ar!le"#

&ornelius45 le!c$er aske"# ;$a! !$e uck are you "oin& $ere4 're you ollowin& us45

;e !rack your every move85 I! was <ornelius /!uar! bu! $e wasn! "resse" in uniorm as $e $a"

been in In"iana# 7ou "on! !$ink you coul" "ocumen! some!$in& like you "i"### an" $ave us no! !ail you

aroun" a bi!45 He wore a %ow"er blue kni! collare" s$ir!# His s$or!s were bei&e# He wore a smokers ca%#

;e were =us! !alkin& abou! $ow !$e &overnmen! cree%s us ou!8 ;$a! !$e $eck45 le!c$ers &u!

ille" wi!$ bile# He wan!e" !o %unc$ <ornelius bu! $e knew !$a! woul"n! be !$e bes! lon&!erm answer#

're you $ere !o ab"uc! us4 Bribe us4 &oerce us4 ;$a!s u%45

I $ave a &i!- believe i! or no!# I you !rus! me- youll be %re!!y muc$ %lease"# Im sure o i!#5

<ornelius wai!e" or +ivian or E""ie !o s%eak bu! !$ey s!oo" "umboun"e"# /ee !$a! an"roi"4 7ou !$ink

i!s %ar! o !$is a!!rac!ion4 I!s not 8 His name is /$a.bo!# 7ou know4 '!er !$e ork indy %ro&ram4

He was crea!e" by !$e eense e%ar!men!# Hes a 6sol"ier o !omorrow# 6T$e Termina!or movie isn!

ar o on w$a! were !ryin& !o ac$ieve# In recen! years- weve ma"e incredible s!ri"es in re&ar"s !o bi%e"

robo!ic !ravel# 'n" !$e skin4 7ou $ave !o look really close !o know i!s syn!$e!ic85

Are you buying us off# sir 45 +ivian aske"# Is !$a! w$a! !$is is4 ' bribe o some kin"45

;ell- !$e !ru!$ is>!$e real !ru!$>is !$a! we $a" a c$an&e o $ear!# ?o! all o us were ull on

boar" !$a! we s$oul" buil" !$a! "ea!$ cam% in Beec$ @rove- or e9am%le# T$is### android ### I! was ma"e

or killin&8 I! was ma"e !o &e! in!o enemy !erri!ory an" ri% %eo%le a%ar!# ' oo! version o !$e ,re"a!or

"rones85

7ou are !ryin& !o %ay us o45 E""ie aske"# He $a" never me! <ornelius /!uar! bu! $e el! like

$e" known $im or a lon& !ime# 7ou remin" me o someone# My &ran"a!$er45

ister 3oper -5 <ornelius sai"# I &e! i! a lo!#5



le!c$er wasn! convince" !$a! <ornelius was bein& u%ron! abou! all !$e "e!ails# 7ou sai" !$a!

everyone wasn! onboar" wi!$ !$e luna!ic s!a!ion in In"iana# 7ou know o %eo%le no! on boar" wi!$ !$is#

'm I ri&$!45

course#5 <ornelius /!uar! !ook o $is smokers ca%# ;e %ro&ramme" /$a.bo! !o be

rien"ly#5

"ello# sir 85 /$a.bo! sai"# His $ea" !urne" awkwar"ly !owar" le!c$er# He was ully clo!$e" an"

coul" $ave %asse" or a securi!y &uar"# rom a ew ee! away- $e looke" nine!y %ercen! real man an" !en

%ercen! manne*uin# His voice $a" robo!ic over!ones# I $e s!ar!e" !o sin& a )app 3oger son&- i!

woul"n! $ave sur%rise" le!c$er one bi!# ;oul" you like a beer4 I un"ers!an" you like +udweiser #5

I like w$ere !$is is going 8 7ou can %ay me o wi!$ !$is !$in&85 E""ie sai"# i"s an" %aren!s

%asse" !$e &rou% %er$a%s believin& !$ey were $ire" c$arac!ers or !$e ma.e#

Take i!- le!c$er8 ;e alrea"y know your %lans !o "ocumen! @roun" ero s!eel# ?o! many %eo%le

are as ambi!ious as you an" your &irlrien"# ;ere "oin& ,R- $ere# I wasn! res%onsible or nine eleven-

!$ou&$# 7ou $ave my wor" on !$a!# o I know names4 o I know "e!ails abou! w$a! ?R' knew an"w$a! !$ey "i"n!4 7es- bu! i! came !o me a!er !$e ac!#5

;ere you on 6nee" !o know kin" o "u!y45 le!c$er aske"#

uuuuude85 /$a.bo! in!erru%!e" !$e conversa!ion# Ae!s %ar!y8 Ae!s blow !$is !aco s!an"8

;$a!re we "oin& $ere45

Hes %ro&ramme" wi!$ i!y !$ousan" %$rases- le!c$#5 <ornelius walke" !owar" /$a.bo!#

;oul" you like your Tbone s!eak well"one or rare45

3are4 ;$a! "o I look like4 ' <$ee!a$4 <ook !$e "amn !$in&85 /$a.bo! scra!c$e" $is $ea"#

(ee% 85

He $as a %ersonali!y- !oo85 <ornelius sai"# I!s %ro&ramme" bu! i! c$an&es sub!ly wi!$ lie

even!s# I you leave $im $ome- $ell become %er!urbe"### =us! like a real %erson#5

Ill !ake $im85 le!c$er saw %ossibili!ies# 7ou can assure us !$a! youre "isman!lin& !$a! %olice

s!a!e =unk !$a! be&an a!er your cons!i!uen!s "i" !$e nine eleven !$in&45

I! "i"n! work- le!c$er#5 <ornelius was somber# T$e &uys wan!e" !o!al con!rol an" ma"e a

%lay or i!# idn,t work # ;e ou&$! eac$ o!$er more be$in" !$e scenes a bi! more !$an Bill <lin!on an"

Jimmy <ar!er ou&$! us combine"85

Ill !ake !$e !$in&- le!c$er8 I mean- i you "on! wan! $im-5 E""ie sai"#

7letcher +rowne8 /$oul"n! we "iscuss !$is %riva!ely or even ive minu!es4 I!s no! like %ickin&

w$ic$ bran" o beer were buyin&85

?o- +ivian# ers o !$e !able i we "on! "o !$is now# 'm I ri&$!45 le!c$er looke" !o

<ornelius an" wai!e" or a res%onse#

<ornelius looke" !o +ivian- !$en !o le!c$er# Time4 I "on! $ave a lo! o !ime# Real %ark

securi!y is &onna sense some!$in& o kil!er soon### an" i !$ey come or !$e me"ia "oes###5

;ell !ake $im-5 +ivian sai"# o we ee" $im4 ,lu& $im in45



He ea!s- believe i! or no!# I!s "one or blen"in& in!o socie!y more !$an any!$in& else# 'n" $e $as

syn!$e!ic &as!ric aci"s w$ic$ break a%ar! !$e oo"# He craps- $e wi%es- $e swea!s an" $e !ears8 He $as a

syn!$e!ic $ear! w$ic$ %um%s necessary lui"s### an" !$ese lui"s $ave been "ye" "ark re" in case $e !ears $is

lielike skin# Hes very real in $ow $e was %a!!erne" a!er an ac!ual $uman#5

'ha%bot0 're you rkan4 o you come rom Ork ### like Mork45 +ivian aske"#

Orkan4 I come rom ,$illy8 rk is a clown %lace85 /$a.bo! walke" !o +iv an" "i" a $i%$o%

move calle" !$e wave5# ;e can &roove !oni&$!# 7es45

course- /$a.bo!# course85 +ivian lau&$e"# /$e !urne" !owar" le!c$er# I &uess we "on!

nee" E""ie aroun" anymore#5

7ou mi&$! be ri&$!85 le!c$ sai"# He !urne" !owar" $is ol" bu""y- Hear !$a!4 7ou $ave

com%e!i!ion85

/$a.bo!8 7ou wa!c$ your s!e%85 E""ie sai"#

ookie4 Is !$ere "o& "ookie aroun"45 /$a.bo! looke" "own !$en some!$in& $a%%ene" w$ic$

wasn! e9%ec!e" by anyone e9ce%! <ornelius# His eyes li! u% re" similar !o car break li&$!s# ookie4 Is!$ere "ookie45

<an we s$u! o !$a! ea!ure45 le!c$er aske" <ornelius# 7ou sai" $e was com%le!ely lielike#

;$a!s !$e "eal wi!$ $is eyes45

anger. He $as in!el !$a! some!$in&s &oin& on we s$oul" !ake $ee" !o#5 <ornelius s!e%%e"

ou!si"e o Kueens <as!le# Here !$ey come85

Terrorists45 +ivian aske"#

;orse85 <ornelius sai"# I!s !$e Bri!is$ %a%ara..i85

kay85 +ivian saw a ew re%or!ers makin& !$eir way !$rou&$ !$e s$rubbery ma.e# ;e s%li!4

;$a!s !$e %lan45

Take him85 <ornelius /!uar! sai"# on! !ry !o con!ac! me8 Ill &e! a $ol" o you in ?ew 7orks

<en!ral ,ark one mon!$ rom !o"ay# our in !$e a!ernoon8 En=oy your &i!8 Take care o $im85

7ou "i"n! !ell us any!$in& abou! main!enance or cleanin&85 +ivian knew !$ere wasn! muc$

!ime# /$e coul" eel more !$an %a%ara..i# T$ere were %a!rons !$a! seeme" !o $ave cau&$! win" o a

no!ewor!$y s%ec!acle# ;$a! i $e &e!s on our nerves45

Hes like a real $uman8 I $es no! wan!e"- $ell in" us# ;eve &iven $im a &overnmen! cre"i!

car"# 'n" $e %lu&s $imsel in a! ni&$!# Ae! $im slee% near an elec!rical ou!le!# Hes like a smar! %$one !$a!

%ar!ies85 <ornelius %u! $is smokers $a! back on an" a%%roac$e" !$e %a%ara..i# T$ey wen! that way85

He %oin!e" !owar" !$e Ma" Ha!!ers Tea <u%s# 7oure lookin& or im an" anye- ri&$!45

@oo" move85 E""ie sai"# T$e %a%s scurrie" away rom !$em#

Okay85 <ornelius sai"# ?ow &o8 Aeave !$is %ark an" !$en %re!en" like youre !ravelin& wi!$ an

'lis! s!ar# I mean- we "i" a &oo" =ob# ;e "i" a very good =ob "esi&nin& $im# ;e s!ill $ave a ways !o &o#

,eo%le will no!ice i !$ey s!are or look close enou&$# on! le! !$e %ress ca!c$ win" o !$is# Im "oin& !$is

or -3 bu! !$eres no use i we lose more &roun" !$an we &ain#5



7ou $ear !$a!- /$a.45 le!c$er aske"# Me an" you &onna &o !o !$e Eiel Tower85

/$a.45 /$a.bo! aske"# Is !$a! some sor! o nickname4 $# I get i!85

E""ie e9!en"e" $is $an"# My name is E""ie- /$a.85

on,t teach him too much85 <ornelius sai"# Hell reak ou!8 I mean### I $aven! seen $im reak

ou!### bu! i!s !$eore!ical85

I sla% skin- &orny-5 /$a.bo! sai"# I can call you 6<orny- yes45 He s$ook E""ies $an"#

Ive &o!!a &o85 <ornelius !ook o back in!o !$e Kueens ma.e#

I &uess we &o! ourselves a robot 85 le!c$er $u&&e" +ivian an" &ave E""ie a $i&$ ive#

3obot 45 /$a.bo! aske"# Robo!4 I $ave eelin&s- you know4 oes your mo!$er "o !$is !o you a!

$ome4 Talk like youre no! !$ere45

How "o you know !$is is no! a se! u%45 +ivian aske" le!c$er# How "o we know $es an

an"roi" an" no! some %ai" a&en! !$a!s su%%ose" !o s%y on us4 ' human a&en!45

ude-5 /$a.bo! sai"# 7ou nee" !o c$ill- &al85 /$a.bo! wen! !o !$e loor an" s!ar!e" !o break

"ance# His en"in& move was a s%in on $is $ea" o abou! i!y !imes# He &o! !o $is ee!# Have you seen asecre! a&en! "o that 45

/$i!- man85 +ivian crie" a ew !ears o =oy# ;e $ave ourselves a real robot 85

Bi!c$- you nee" !o lay o on callin& me a robot 85 /$a.bo! "i" !$e wave5 a&ain wi!$ $is arms#

Ae!s blow !$is !aco s!an"85

He re%ea!s $imsel-5 le!c$er sai"#

+ite me-5 /$a.bo! sai"# ;$a!re we &onna "o4 /!ick aroun" 6!il moss &rows on us45

'ha%bot,s right -5 E""ie sai"# Ae!s blow !$is taco stand 85 T$e our o !$em ascen"e" s!airs !o

!$e !o% o Kueens <as!le# T$e view was nice# E""ie s!ar!e" &e!!in& !$e sensa!ion o %eo%le closin& in#

(uys4 T$a! eelin&s comin& back !$a! %eo%lere lookin& or us85

le!c$er looke" !owar" !$eir new an"roi" %al# I won"er w$y85

T$ey le! -arc isneyland earlier !$an e9%ec!e"# T$ey visi!e" !$e Eiel Tower an" &o! use" !o

in!erac!in& wi!$ /$a.bo!# T$ey wen! back !o !$eir ives!ar $o!el an" "i"n! know w$a! woul" $a%%en ne9!#

T$ey brou&$! rances own ?ronenbourg @@! as !$eir beer o c$oice# '!er almos! a !welve%ack-

le!c$er oun" $imsel yellin& a! /$a.bo!- I say nine eleven was an inside job8 I know you know i!- !oo85

Ais!en- man8 1/'T alrea"y "ebunke" all your .any cons%iracy !$eories8 Mayor @iuliani

e9%laine" !$a! com%u!er simula!ions s$ow $ow every!$in& wen! "own8 ;$a! more "o you nee"45 /$a.bo!

"rank beer- !$e &rou% came !o in"# Insi"e o $is ar!iicial s!omac$ were sensors w$ic$ coul" measure

bloo" alco$ol con!en!# He was %ro&ramme" !o be$ave accor"in&ly# He became lou"er- more belli&eren!-

an" s!umble" more wi!$ eac$ %assin& "rink#

<om%u!er simula!ions4 I won"er w$ere your bias comes rom85 le!c$er s%oke !o /$a.bo! like

$e $a" &enuine $uman emo!ions# +ivian smile" an" looke" on# =urassic -ark0 T$ose were com%u!er

simula!e" "inosaurs8 oes !$a! mean !$a! TRe9 is abou! !o ea! us45

<$ill- bro85 /$a.bo! sai"# 7ou &e! so worke" u%85



&hill05 He looke" a! +ivian an" saw s$e was lau&$in&# <$ill4 I know w$y youre $ere now8

7ou were sen! !o "e%ro&ram me8 They >!$e la"s a! !$e ,en!a&on>wan! me !o be a yes man like !$a! sa% I

worke" wi!$ a! Beec$ @rove# What was his name0 Ma!! /!ubbs8 T$a! &uy85

7oure so paranoid - "u"e85 /$a.bo! sai"# 7ou %robably !$ink I $ave micro%$ones in my ear

$oles w$ic$ %ick u% your soun"s### an" !ransmi! !$em s!rai&$! !o my mas!er in ;as$in&!on- <8 7ou !$ink

Im &oin& !o ilm +ivian nake" an" sen" !$ose %ics !o !$e same &uys### so !$ey can s!roke o !o your

&irlrien"8 'n" you %robably !$ink Im &oin& !o !ie you u% an" %u! you in a $i""en close! w$en all is sai"

an" "one85

4es8 T$a!s e9ac!ly w$a! I !$ink85 le!c$er backe" o# Maybe Im bein& a $y%ocri!e# ree

will4 o you $ave ree will45

ree will4 7es- sir# 7oure correc! !$a! I $ave an a&en"a# My un"erlyin& mo!ive is !o kee% you

sae# I $ave a ran"om number &enera!or# Ei&$!yive %ercen! o my ac!ions are "esi&ne" !o serve !$a!

%ur%ose bu! in !$e s%iri! o !rue ar!iicial in!elli&ence- I may learn rom e9%erience an" "eci"e !$in&s on my

own# I un"ers!an" !$e meanin& o your acial e9%ressions# I know w$en Im "oin& well an" w$en Im no!#I lis!en !o !$e !one o your s%eec$# ne "ay- I mi&$! $ave as muc$ as !$ir!y %ercen! ree will# Time will

!ell#5 /$a.bo! belc$e"# 7ou will no! be "isa%%oin!e"#5

+ivian45 le!c$er calle"# 're you $earin& !$is45

Ae! $im %lay !ennis8 He claims $e $as relec!ive mo!or skills# Ae!s "o !$a! !omorrow# He $as

&yros in $is ee!- knees- $i%s- elbows- $ea"- s$oul"ers- neck an" $ea"# Im curious !o see $im "o any!$in&

a!$le!ic#5 +ivian yawne"#

Athletic4 7ea$- !$a! woul" be &oo"85 le!c$er looke" back !o /$a.# 7ou !$ink you coul" bea!

me a! !ennis45

<an4 7es# ;ill4 I! "e%en"s on i you !$row a !an!rum#5 /$a. smile"# 7oure !ire"# Time !o

slee%45

I like you- /$a.85 le!c$er was rea"y or slee%# (ood night# guys8 Me an" /$a.re rea"y !o $i!

!$e $ay85

@oo" ni&$!- $oney85 +ivian sai"# /lee% !i&$!- /$a.### or w$a!ever i! is you "o#5 /$e woul"ve

sai" &oo" ni&$! !o E""ie bu! $e $a" alrea"y %asse" ou!# "e sure does sleep a lot - s$e !$ou&$!# +ivian sle%!

"ee%ly ne9! !o le!c$er# Her "reams were o"" bu! s$e woul" no! remember !$em# I s$e coul"- s$e woul"

know !$a! s$e was on /esame /!ree! !alkin& !o !$e &ount # Beore i! was over- s$e" be snu& in a &arba&e

can livin& ne9! !o scar !$e @rouc$# E""ie $a" $is own be" an" /$a.bo! %lu&&e" in near !$e lam% be!ween

E""ie an" !$e lovebir"s# He coul"ve sle%! on $is ee! bu! was %ro&ramme" !o minimi.e men!al

"iscre%ancies a!er $ours# He $iberna!e" wi!$ $is back s!i on !$e loor# ;$en !$e /un cre%! !$rou&$ !$e

win"ow- +ivian was !$e irs! !o wake# Rise an" s$ine8 Ae!s "o !$is !$in&85

le!c$er rubbe" $is eyes# @ro&&ily- ;$a!4 7es# course# Tennis#5

/$a.bo! sa! u%ri&$! on !$e loor# Ive emaile" a reserva!ion or 3oland (arros8 My wii

connec!ion is very s!ron& an" I $ave "irec! connec!ions !o ;iki%e"ia- @oo&le an" w$a!ever else you may



be in!eres!e" in# I look orwar" !o bea!in& you a! !ennis- le!c$85

're you &uys u% alrea"y45 E""ie aske"# <an! a "u"e &e! slee% aroun" $ere45 He rubbe" $is

eyes# Ae! me in !$e s$ower irs!# Ill wake# I %romise#5

7ou &uys make i! as! because i! !akes me lon&er !o &e! rea"y85 +ivian wa!c$e" le!c$ an" E""ie

move aroun" .ombiie"# Im &onna &e! ba&els w$ile you &uys &e! "resse"#5

@e! beer- !oo8 or !$e cour!s# T$is "roi" is no! &onna bea! me85 le!c$ers bloo" s!ar!e" lowin&

as!er# He aske" /$a.- Hey4 <uriosi!y- $ere# ;$a!c$a &o! un"ernea!$ !$ere4 T$ey "esi&n you !o

re%ro"uce45

I woul" blus$ i I coul"#5 /$a.bo! s!oo" u%# ?en# I look like a en "oll "own !$ere#5

T$anks or !$e $ones!y- /$a.# ,lease "on! %ull your %an!s "own- !$ou&$#5 le!c$er lau&$e"# I

can! wai!8 3oland (arros# huh4 Ill &e! !o %lay w$ere Aen"l los! !o <$an&8 ;ow85

+ivian s!e%%e" ou!si"e wi!$ou! makeu%# /$e wore san"als- !$e same s$or!s s$e sle%! in- an"

merely sli%%e" a swea!er over $er Ts$ir!# E""ie scoo!e" in!o !$e res!room an" s$owere"# urin& !$e wai!-

le!c$er $i! /$a.bo! u% or more conversa!ion# 7ou say nine eleven wasn! an insi"e =ob# How abou! !$is4T$e BI- wi!$ !$e $el% o Elvis 'aron ,resley- screwe" wi!$ !$e Bea!les an" !rie" !o "e%or! Jo$n Aennon#

T$a!s a &iven### bu! w$a!s your o%inion on i!4 4ou do have opinions that aren,t pre$programmed# don,t

you45

Me4 %inion4 7es8 I $ave an o%inion on !$a! one8 T$e Bea!les4 T$ey were subver!in&

'merican you!$# Jo$n Aennon wi!$ $is an!iwar s!ance an" $is 'sian babe# I mean- w$a! woul" you "o i

you were :ncle /am45 /$a.bo! sa! on !$e be" w$ere E""ie $a" been slee%in&#

Is i! sae !o say !$a! no ma!!er w$a! I ask- youre &oin& !o si"e wi!$ !$e :ni!e" /!a!es

&overnmen!45 '! !$is %oin!- i! "i"n! bu& le!c$er# He wan!e" !o know $ow consistent /$a.bo! woul" be#

I! coul" $el% !$e &rou% in !i&$! si!ua!ions#

I will answer your *ues!ion wi!$ ano!$er *ues!ion#5 /$a. e9%laine"- T$ere was a classic movie

calle" 6'uperman s!arrin& <$ris!o%$er Reeve circa BFC# In !$is %ar!icular anec"o!e- !$e %ro!a&onis!s love

in!eres!- Aois Aane- is lyin& aroun" Me!ro%olis an" !$ey reac$ $er balcony %a!io# /$e aske" /u%erman

w$y $e came !o Ear!$# 6Tru!$- =us!ice- an" !$e 'merican way8 T$a! was $is answer# 'm I !o believe I

s$oul" be any "ieren!45

7ou &o! a &oo" %oin!85 le!c$ sai"# /o !$e y 6ai assacre in +ie!nam "oesn! bu& you4 ive

$un"re" unarme" ci!i.ens- mos! o !$em c$il"ren an" women- massacre" by 'merican !roo%s8 T$a! "oesn!

make your bloo"> or# eh >oil boil45

;e !$e %eo%le o !$e :ni!e" /!a!es- in order to form a more perfect union- es!ablis$ =us!ice- insure

"omes!ic !ran*uili!y- %rovi"e or !$e common "eense- %romo!e &eneral welare- an" secure !$e blessin&s o

liber!y !o ourselves an" our %os!eri!y- "o or"ain an" es!ablis$ !$is <ons!i!u!ion or !$e :ni!e" /!a!es o

'merica85 /$a.bo!s ace almos! looke" %rou"# le!c$er won"ere" i $e was %ro&ramme" !o $ave !$ese

kin"s o e9%ressions# /n order to form a more perfect union-5 $e re%ea!e"# @e! i!4 T$eres no %re!ense

!$ere8 ;e are no! sayin& we are &o"s as monarc$s $ave %re!en"e"# ;e are a &overnmen! o men an"



women !ryin& !o "o w$a!s ri&$!# ;e miss some!imes- le!c$er# ;e miss#5

;e miss### bu! le!s !urn a blin" eye !o our %roblems45 le!c$er was becomin& an&ry a&ain# T$is

!ime- sober- $e became %er!urbe" !$a! $e was becomin& agitated rom s%eakin& !o a mac$ine wi!$ou!

&enuine $uman emo!ions# /$a.bo!4 Im &oin& !o %lay you in !ennis !o"ay### an" I $o%e I bea! you# I $ave

!o acce%! your s!ances- i in"ee" !$eyre your own# I $ave rien"s like you# I sen" !$em evi"ence o

&overnmen! wron&"oin& and cor%ora!e wron&"oin&# T$ey i&nore me#5

E""ie came ou! o !$e res!room !owelin& o $is $ea"# Ais!en# I $a!e w$en %eo%le !ake orever

&e!!in& rea"y so I !ry no! !o "o i!# I only nee" a cou%le o minu!es in !$ere# I! is all yours#5

I look orwar" !o bea!in& you on !$e cour!s- le!c$er#5 /$a.bo! smile"# 7ou will $ave re" clay

all over your s$ir! w$en i!s all "one# I will bea! you in s!rai&$! se!s### an" I will be "i&niie" enou&$ !o %ick

u% !$e lunc$ !ab w$en i!s over# Time !o &e! rea"y85

le!c$er !urne" !owar" !$e res!room# ' robot is !ellin& me w$a! !o "o85 $e muse" =us! beore

s$u!!in& !$e "oor be$in" $im#

+ivian walke" in!o !$e $o!el room as le!c$er was "ryin& o rom s$owerin&# /$e brou&$! a lon&roll o 7rench brea" an" a bo!!le o icand &GtH 3ue# le!c$er %u! on w$i!e s$or!s- new sneakers- an" a

&ray kni! s$ir!# /$a.bo! was s!ill wearin& !$e same clo!$es !$ey" me! $im in# He looke" like a securi!y

&uar" rom -arc isneyland # le!c$er looke" a! /$a.s "ress s$oes an" i&ure" $e" $ave an a"van!a&e-

es%ecially on clay# +ivian s%oke- I "i"n! wan! !o $un! or ba&els all over !own# T$is is !$e irs! !$in& I

came across#5

I like re" wine-5 le!c$er sai"# Hey /$a.4 ;e "on! $ave !ime !o &e! you %ro%er &ear- bu!

maybe you can swi!c$ s$oes wi!$ E""ie# ;$en I bea! you- I "on! wan! any e9cuses#5

'i%e ten-5 E""ie inorme"# 7ours45

Ten and a half. &lose enough#5 /$a.bo! !ook o $is s$oes an" e9c$an&e" !$em wi!$ E""ies#

Ill !ake some o !$a! wine- %re!!y la"y-5 /$a. sai" !o +iv#

(ood 8 ' "runk cybor&85 le!c$ wi%e" $is brow# Im alrea"y swea!in& rom thinking o i!85

+ivian wen! !o $er small sui!case# I was &onna %lay le!c$# 7oull nee" !$is#5 /$e $an"e" /$a.

$er rac*ue!# I $o%e i!s bi& enou&$ or you#5

/$a.bo! s%un i! aroun"# I can %lay wi!$ !$is#5

T$e *uar!e! le!- c$ecke" ou! o Ho!el Au!e!ia an" were si!ua!e" a! <our! G in no !ime# I! mi&$!

no! be <en!er <our!- bu! i!ll "o85 /$a.bo! be&an s!re!c$in& e9ercises#

4ou don,t need to do that# do you45 E""ie aske"# He "rank wine rom a i9ie cu%# /$a.45

course no!-5 /$a. res%on"e"# Bu! !$ere are %eo%le aroun" an" i!s im%era!ive !$a! I i! in#5

le!c$er !ook a cue an" s!ar!e" s!re!c$in&# I mi&$! really nee" i!#5

<our! G was near a me"ia com%oun"# +ivian wen! !o c$eck i! ou!# By !$e !ime s$e re!urne"-

le!c$ an" /$a. $a" alrea"y be&an %layin&# 7orty- love85 /$a. s$ou!e"# He serve" a $un"re"an"!en

mile%er$our as! one insi"e le!c$ers corner# @ame85 /$a. u%"a!e" !$e score# T$ree- o$# irs! se!#5

He broke my serve- +ivian-5 le!c$ sai" as s$e a%%roac$e"# I!s no! !$e wine# Hes good 85



le!c$er was merely me"iocre w$en $e %laye" on !$e $i&$ sc$ool !ennis !eam# His skills "i" no! im%rove

over !ime# He %laye" or $obby# He was lucky i $e coul" serve $al as as! as /$a.# Aove- love85 $e

s$ou!e"# His serve $i! !$e ar line an" /$a. lun&e" a! i!# Whif # 7oure "oin& !$a! on %ur%ose- aren! you45

le!c$ers an&er re!urne"# /$a.bo!4 7ou "on! nee" !o $ol" back85

I !o!ally misse" i!- man85 /$a.bo! !urne" $is back !o le!c$er an" kicke" !$e clay in w$a! seeme"

!o be rus!ra!ion# 6et,s go 'ha% 85 He s%oke alou" in !$ir" %erson# Ae!s &o8 7ou can !ake !$is !wer%85

i!een- love85 le!c$er !ook a %a&e rom Mic$ael <$an&s %laybook# 5nderhand # T$e serve

barely cleare" !$e ne!# /$a.bo! ran or i! an" "ove !o $is c$es!# He &o! u% an" brus$e" o a cake o rus!

colore" "ir!#

amn85 /$a.bo! yelle"# amn8 /ur%rise" me !$ere85

+ivian walke" u% !o le!c$er an" kisse" $im below !$e ear on !$e neck# Im &oin& !o look

aroun"# Ill be back beore you inis$#5

4eah45 le!c$er wasn! sure $ow !o res%on"# /$e seeme" like &oo" luck# He kisse" $er on !$e

li%s# @o a$ea"#5 /$e walke" away an" le!c$ yelle"- T$ir!y- love85T$ere was a "iscovery !$a! le!c$er ma"e# /$a.bo! seeme" reluc!an! !o embarrass $im in ron! o

$is lon&!ime &irlrien"# ;$en s$e was &one- $e %laye" $ar"er# He even seeme" !o calibra!e $is eor! so i!

looke" more na!ural# ' $un"re"an"!enmile%er$our serves became nine!ymile%er$our serves# He

won !$e irs! se! easily- si9 !o one# +ivian re!urne" !o wa!c$ all o !$e secon" se!# /$a.bo! won- si9 !o our#

;e can %lay renc$ %en mens c$am%ions$i% rules an" &o un!il one o wins !$ree se!s# 7ou u% or i!-

le!c$er45

le!c$er s$ook $is $ea"# ?a$# Im &oo"85

/$a.bo! ran !owar" !$e ne! an" cleare" i! easily# T$e =um% looke" awkwar"# I! wasn! a hurdler,s

=um%# I! was more like a vi"eo &ame =um% Aui&i or Mario mi&$! make# He &o! !o le!c$ an" s$ook $is

$an"# I coul" see you &e!!in& rus!ra!e"# I !$ou&$! you were &onna &e! all =ohn cEnroe on me85

Jo$n McEnroe45 +iv aske"# ;i!$ $is looks- $es more like an '&assi85

7oure a s%or!- /$a.bo!85 le!c$er "us!e" $imsel o# 3eady for lunch guys45

I !$ou&$! i!" never come85 E""ie sai"# +read - +ivian4 I! was &oo"### bu! I wan! !o s!u some

frog legs in!o my s!omac$8 Escargot 8 I "on! care8 I wan! some!$in& good #5

Ae!s $ea" ou!85 +ivian sai"# /$e was $a%%y# /$e !ook $er rac*ue! back rom /$a. an" !$ey

$ea"e" !o !$eir ren!al car an" wen! lookin& or a bi!e !o ea!#

'! @rissom 'ir orce Base in In"iana- Ma!! /!ubbs inis$e" u% work as /$a.bo! was bein&

in!ro"uce" !o le!c$er- +iv an" E""ie a! -arc isneyland # He was relieve" w$en i! was com%le!e"# 's

le!c$er an" /$a.bo! wra%%e" u% !$eir !ennis ma!c$- Ma!! oun" $imsel s!ra%%e" !o a c$air alone in a

mus!y $an&ar# In ron! o $im was a blackan"w$i!e !ube !elevision on w$eels# :n"er !$e T+ was a +H/

%layer# n !$e screen- alcolm I spoke# Ma!! coul"n! make sense o w$a! was &oin& on# Tom Mcay

en!ere" wi!$ a w$i!e %orcelain !ray o brownies# He wore a "ecora!e" army uniorm an" Ma" Ha!!ers $a!#

He !ook a brownie an" $el" i! !o Ma!!s mou!$ wi!$ou! sayin& a wor"# Ma!! a!e# He $el" ano!$er- !$en



ano!$er# ;$en !$e brownies were inis$e"- Tom e9i!e"# Ma!! no!ice" !$a! !$ere was a !ail be$in" Tom>a

luy- black !ail !$a! coul"ve come o a $u&e mu!an! ca!# Hu&e s!ereo s%eakers were si!ua!e" in all

corners# The (lenn iller Orchestra %laye" in !$e back&roun"# Ma!! looke" in !$e "irec!ion w$ere Tom

$a" en!ere" an" !$en e9i!e"# ' lar&e bunny a%%roac$e"- %ink an" luy- %er$a%s si9 an" $al ee! !all# T$is

bunny !wirle" a lar&e ba& o a&in& socks# T$e bunny "ance" !o !$e music !$en %u! $is ace close enou&$ !o

Ma!!s nose !$a! !$ey !ouc$e"# T$e bunny "ance" some more !$en be&an !o swa! Ma!! across !$e ace wi!$

!$e socks# T$ere was %robably a &ol ball insi"e- bu! i! was cus$ione" by ano!$er sock# I! smelle" o

vine&ar# T$e bunny s!o%%e" "ancin&# He %u! u% $is %oin!er in&er an" s$ook i!# 1o# no# no# !$e &es!ure

sai"# T$e bunny "ance" as $e $ea"e" !owar" !$e e9i!# Ma!! be&an !o eel s!one"# In came a mi"&e!

wearin& a maroon )oot suit # In $is le! $an"- $e $el" a classic silver %ocke! wa!c$ a!!ac$e" !o $is %an!s by a

len&!$y c$ain# He looke" a! !$e ace o i! !$en s%a! a! Ma!!s s$oes# He &run!e" an" %ou!e" in a !iny circle#

In $is ri&$! $an" $e $el" a sou% can s!ri%%e" o i!s ori&inal label# He looke" insi"e !$e can !$en walke" u%

!o Ma!!# He s%a! on Ma!!s c$es! !$en !$rew !$e li*ui" con!en!s a! Ma!!s ace# I! was urine# att could

smell that it was urine. T$e mi"&e! ol"e" $is arms !$en e9i!e"- s!ill in %ou!in& as$ion# ?e9! came a la"ywearin& a lowin& yellow "ress- blue !o%- an" a re" ribbon i9e" a!o% $er s$or! brune!!e $air# &inderella4

Ma!! won"ere"# He was eelin& more an" more $i&$# &inderella0 1o. That,s 'now White# /$e $a" an

o%a*ue Tu%%erware bucke! ull o lour# T$ere were no "ances or %ou!in& aroun"# /$e walke" s!rai&$! u%

!o Ma!! an" "um%e" !$e bucke! on $is $ea"# Ma!! blinke" an" all s$e coul" see o $is ace was $is eyes#

He s$ook $is $ea" bu! lour clun& !o we! urine !$a! !$e mi"&e! $a" !osse"# /now ;$i!e $el" u% a mirror#

Ma!! looke" a! $imsel# Tears rolle" "own $is ace an" $e coul" see !$in les$y %a!$s# He bowe" $is $ea"

an" wis$e" $imsel away# He $o%e" $e was "reamin&#

I! was no "ream# Ma!! sa! s!ra%%e" in $is c$air or !$ree $ours a!er 'now White le!# Tom Mcay

came back# T$is !ime $e wore &ray Aevis ockers- ,enny Aoaers- an" an 9or" bu!!onu% s$ir!# T$ere

was a s!ron& colo&ne smell !$a! Ma!! wasn! amiliar wi!$# Ma!! !remble"- bu! $e aske"- ;$a! is !$is4 Is

!$e bunny a symbol o some!$in&4 i" I screw u%45

+unny45 Tom aske"# Bunny4 i" you see a bunny in $ere45

4es8 I !$ink you know !$e one85 Ma!! wa!c$e" Tom %lay "umb# Tom looke" aroun" as i $e was

!ryin& !o amuse a !o""ler#

Bunny4 I "on! see a bunny45 Tom li! a ci&ar# ;$a! are you "oin& wa!c$in& alcolm I 45

I see w$ere !$is is &oin&- Tom85 Ma!! crie"# I!s so you can "eny !$e na!ure o work "one

$ere85

1ature of work 4 7oure $ire" !o !es! !$ese buil"in&s or sae!y8 T$is close""own base coul" be

use" a&ain8 How were !$e walls w$en you !es!e" !$em45

/ got it 85 Ma!! sai"# on! %ee% a wor"# I alrea"y know8 7ou can le! me &o8 7ou can !rus! !$a!

Im no! &oin& !o say any!$in&85

'ny!$in& abou! what - Ma!!45 Tom &o! closer !o Ma!!s ace# 7oure no! stoned - are you45

7ou came an" &ave me brownies8 /!one"4 7ou woul" know8 7ou wore a ca!s !ail rom your



rear8 <ome on8 ,lease *ui! wi!$ !$ese &ames85 Ma!! looke" u%war"s# T$e music s!o%%e"#

7oure lookin& aroun" or w$a!- Ma!!4 7ou look like youre $avin& some kin" o "elusion8 're

!$ere bunnies loa!in& in !$e air45 Tom Mcay %ue" $is ci&ar#

(lenn iller 8 ;$a! $a%%ene" !o !$e music45 Ma!! looke" u% a&ain# T$e music came back on-

bu! now i! was barely au"ible# I!s back8 The (lenn iller Orchestra#5

I "on! $ear any!$in&-5 Tom sai"# Maybe you nee" !ime o- Ma!!#5

/o "on! ask abou! !$e rickin pee !$a! was !$rown a! me45 Ma!! was ma" bu! $e was ca!c$in&

on# &ategorically deny. That,s their method # Ais!en- Tom# I "on! $ear any music# I!s my memory#5

T$is is "one or !$e &rea!er &oo"- Ma!!$ew /!ubbs# I!s or your own &oo"# 7oure &onna &e! a

wie- some"ay# 7oure &oin& !o be "runk in a bar# 7oure &oin& !o wan! !o !alk abou! your life#5 Tom

Mcay %ue" an" blew smoke in Ma!!s ace# 're you &oin& !o say any!$in& i youre s!ory is a!!ac$e" !o

a rickin bunny45

kay# /eriously# Im &e!!in& %ai" or my work- ri&$!4 7oure no! &oin& !o kill me#5 Ma!! wai!e"

or an answer# Ins!ea"- Tom le! !$e room# 'n $our la!er- !$e %ink bunny rolle" !$e T+ away# 'n $oura!er !$a!- /now ;$i!e uns!ra%%e" Ma!! rom $is c$air# ?o wor"s were e9c$an&e" an" Ma!! "i"n! s!ick

aroun" !o in" ou! w$a! !$e mi"&e! mi&$! "o#

+ivian- le!c$er- E""ie an" !$e android s!o%%e" a! Mickys "eli near 6ycHe 8ictor "ugo# T$ey

or"ere" san"wic$es !o &o# T$ey "eci"e" !o make a run !o Aon"on beore !$e "ay en"e"# ?one o !$em $a"

&one !$rou&$ !$e <$annel Tunnel an" i! seeme" !o be !$e !$in& !o "o# T$ey c$a!!e" abou! 6es isHrables

an" $urrie" alon&# all !$in&s- !$ey wan!e" !o see +ig +en an" $an& ou! aroun" !$e T$ames# Every!$in&

wen! as clockwork# ;$en !$ey c$ecke" in!o Aon"ons 5mi "otel - le!c$er receive" a !e9! messa&e rom

Ma!!# He !ol" +ivian- I! woul" mean a lo! !o Ma!! i we mee! $im a! /i9 la&s in /!# Aouis on ri"ay#

;$a! s$oul" I "o45 He !urne" !o E""ie- Ma!!s !$is &uy I worke" wi!$ a! !$a! &loomy %lace in In"iana#5

+ivian sai"- I was $o%in& !o !ravel !o /%ain or @ermany ne9!# 'i* 7lags will do#5

T$e &uys kin" o i"&e!y-5 le!c$ !ol" E""ie# I almos! !$ink $e likes !$e line o work $e "oes#

I!s murky### an" Ive been involve"### but / don,t like it #5

/i9 la&s soun"s like a blas!-5 E""ie sai"# 're you &uys s!ar!in& !o eel &uil!y abou! !$e way

were livin&4 I =us! i&ure" we" be a! eac$ o!$ers ki"s soccer &ames by now in lie#5

;$a! abou! me45 /$a.bo! aske"# oesn! anyone care or my in%u!45

'ha% 4 o you like roller coas!ers45 +ivian %u! $er $an" on /$a.bo!s s$oul"er# /$e was !rea!in&

$im more an" more like a real %erson#

6ike roller coasters4 I love !$em8 on! you remember w$ere we me!45 /$a.bo! =um%e" u%

an" "own a cou%le o !imes### !$en $e s%an aroun" a ew !imes in a %iroue!!e# I like !o &e! "i..y8 I $o%e

!$ey $ave !ea cu%s8 I love !$e !ea cu%s85

kay8 T$is ones se!!le" !oo# @o a$ea" an" !e9! Ma!!# ;ell be !$ere ri"ay# Make sure $e $as

!$e 7ours>uare a%% an" i!ll be easy !o mee!#5 +ivian wen! in!o !$e res!room an" looke" a! $ersel in !$e

mirror# /$e came ou!# I eel so bea! bu! my ace "oesn! s$ow i!#5



I !$ink Ive $a" !$e lu-5 E""ie sai"# Im no! usually !$is muc$ o a "ra&#5

Alright #5 le!c$er i""le" wi!$ $is i,$one# Te9! sen!# ;ell see Ma!! !$is ri"ay85

T$e &rou% lew rom En&lan" !$e ne9! "ay# T$ey $a" a ull "ay !o res! u% or ye! ano!$er

amusemen! %ark# T$ey me! Ma!! /!ubbs a! !$e /i9 la&s &a!e a! !en in !$e mornin&# He !ol" +ivian- ?ice

!o see you a&ain8 Ill always remember you as !$e 6,olaroi" &irl85

le!c$ in!ro"uce" E""ie# T$is is our %al# ;e &ra"ua!e" $i&$ sc$ool !o&e!$er in !$e la!e nine!ies#5

Ma!! sai" !o E""ie- 7ou $ave &rea! rien"s8 ;$os !$e o!$er &uy45

$85 le!c$er almos! or&o!# This4 ;e call $im 6'ha% 8 7oull like $im85

"ello85 /$a. si&nale" wi!$ %alm u% an" in&ers s%laye"> the 8ulcan greeting sign#

T$e &rou% %ai" or !$eir en!rance# Ma!! a%%roac$e" le!c$ as i $e was &oin& !o s%ill a secre!#

7ou know $ow !$ey !ell you !o scream 6 fire in a %arkin& s!ruc!ure i youre bein& assaul!e" or ra%e"45

Ma!! !rie" !o rea" le!c$# Have you $ear" o !$a!45

7es8 ,eo%le $ar"ly res%on" !o 6help cries# T$ey ear or !$eir own sae!y# 6 7ire- !$ou&$- is

mana&eable#5 T$ou&$ i! was early- !$e %ark was s!ar!in& !o ill# le!c$s irs! !$ou&$! was !o blow Ma!! o bu! $e knew w$y !$ey were a! /i9 la&s# Ma!! was yellin& fire5# le!c$er was sure o i!# +ivian45

4es45 +ivian $ea"e" !owar" a lolli%o% ven"or# /$e %ulle" ou! a ew !wen!ies an" %icke" ou! an

oversi.e" %ink an" w$i!e swirle" can"y# 7es4 Honey45

att got molested or something -5 le!c$er sai"# He "i"n! know any o!$er way !o $an"le i!#

T$ere are plenty o lines or us !o s!an" in w$ile you e9%lain yoursel85 +ivian remove" !$e

wra%%er rom $er !rea! an" licke"#

7ire- ri&$!4 T$is %lace is your cry8 Ma!!45 le!c$er looke" over a! /$a.bo!# T$ey bou&$! $im

new clo!$es# He was in a !$ree%iece sui!# I!s !$e way $e $a" !o $ave i!#

7es85 Ma!! blus$e"# T$ey did some!$in& !o me-5 $e e9%laine"# I "on! know i you nee" !$e

"e!ails- bu! I won! be s%eakin& abou! !$e %ro=ec! we were %ar! o#5

1either will /:5 le!c$er sai"# ?o! 6cause !$ey scare" me8 T$ey bou&$! me o8 With him85 He

%oin!e" a! /$a.# /$a. wave" $is $an" an" $is eyes li! u% bri&$! re" a&ain#

Holy cra%85 Ma!! sai"# Is $e a###45

on,t say Jrobot, 85 +ivian cu! in# His ull name is 6'ha%bot 8 ;e call $im 6/$a. or s$or!#5

Tell me- Ma!!$ew /!ubbs-5 /$a.bo! s%oke# i" !$ey anal %robe you45 ' &oo" come"ian woul"

inci!e lau&$!er wi!$ !imin& an" "elivery# /$a.bo! was "ry an" o# Im ki""in& o course### bu! really45

I &o! sla%%e" aroun" by a bunny85 Ma!! el! $umilia!e" bu! was "es%era!e !o &e! i! o $is c$es!#

A pink bunny racked my ass up while / sat watching old speeches:5 le!c$- +iv- /$a. an" E""ie all

s!o%%e" in !$eir !racks an" lis!ene"# T$en a mi"&e! !$rew %iss in!o my eyes85

id they threaten you05 le!c$er aske"# I!s weir" because i!s a cra% s$oo!# n us- !$ey use"

an incen!ive me!$o"# T$ey gave us some!$in&# 7ou4 T$eyre usin& fear #5

ear4 My ace is s!ill we! w$en 'now White comes in !$e room an" !osses w$i!e %ow"er a! me8

i" I !ell you I was s!one" on brownies w$ile bein& !ie" u%45 Ma!! el! &oo" enou&$ !$ere# He "i"n! eel



!$e nee" !o a"" more# Ive come $ere every year since I was !$ir!een years ol"# +oomerang or 1inja

woul" be &oo" coas!ers !o s!ar! wi!$# 7ou u%45

+ivian wan!e" !o &e! we!# T$ey $ea"e" !o Thunder 3iver an" "i"n! !alk !oo muc$ abou! abnormal

social occurrences or !$e ne9! ew $ours# '! "usk- !$ey $a" enou&$ an" $ea"e" !o leave# ;$en !$ey

reac$e" !$e %arkin& lo!- le!c$er !ol" Ma!!- 'ha%bot here0 Hes a $oo!8 7ou &e! alon& wi!$ $im well# I

wan! you !o !ake $im $ome# I nee" $im back in a ew weeks### bu! you coul" use !$e com%any85

att 85 /$a.bo! sai"# ;$a! "o ya say45 He e9!en"e" $is arms !o Ma!! or a $u&# I will no!

!$um% you aroun" wi!$ wei&$!e" socks8 I! will be fun#5

I &uess so-5 Ma!! sai"# I $a" a blas!# I $a" !o !ell someone w$a! $a%%ene"# ?o one bu! you

woul" un"ers!an"# I was &oin& cra.y#5

Ais!en- man-5 le!c$er sai"# ;e looke" u% E""ie- $ere- because $e wen! !$rou&$ !$is !$in&

beore anyone else I know# I can! say I can $el% because i! s!ill $a%%ens !o us> the bi%arre stuff >bu! I

!$ink !$eyre layin& o a li!!le#5

I !$ink so !oo-5 +ivian sai"# i" I !ell you I was %aranoi" !$a! Aaura Bus$ was s%yin& on mewi!$ %syc$ics45

?o85 Ma!! sai"# I!s no! a mi"&e! !$rowin& piss in your ace### bu! I be! i! sucks### !o !$ink

!$eyre all a!er us85

&hill 85 /$a.bo! sai"# T$ese are 3ogues# T$ey will be "eal! wi!$#5 He %u! $is $an" in !$e air#

/la% me some skin85

Ma!! &ave /$a.bo! a $i&$ ive# +ivian- le!c$er an" E""ie $ea"e" !owar" !$eir ren!al car# Ma!!

le" /$a.bo! !o $is small %icku%# ;$en +iv s!ar!e" !$e i&ni!ion- s$e sai"- ;$en we se!!le an" &e! marrie"-

&uy### ;e nee" !o buy a car o our own85

/ hear ya, 85 le!c$er sai"# He !urne" aroun" !o c$eck on E""ie# 7oure no! &oin& !o conk ou!-

are you45

T$ey s!aye" ano!$er ni&$! in /!# Aouis# '! si9 in !$e mornin&- !$ey sa! !o&e!$er a! a boo!$ insi"e a

enny,s# I !$ink i!s !ime or me !o s%li! o# I! was &rea! !o see you !wo a&ain#5 E""ie "rank black coee#

I wis$ we coul" "o !$is or ano!$er cou%le o mon!$s# Im &e!!in& pooped #5 +ivian looke" a! a

menu or a wale combina!ion#

;ere &onna $ea" !o <>me an" +iv are#5 le!c$er %u! $is menu "own# (rand 'lam# He

always &o! !$e same !$in&# Ive &o! some issues# <8 T$a!s w$ere well $ea"#5

Ill call you !$is summer-5 E""ie sai"# 7ourth of =uly# ;e s$oul" "o some!$in& or !$e 7ourth#5

I can! !$ink !$a! ar8 ;$a! is !$is4 Marc$45 +ivian no!ice" a wai!ress $ol"in& a %a"# /$e

or"ere" a number i!een- le!c$ or"ere" a @ran" /lam- an" E""ie sim%ly or"ere" !oas!# 7ou can $ave my

$am-5 +ivian !ol" $im#

o you wan! !o ly or "rive45 le!c$ aske"# Ill "rive i you wan! !o slee%# I "on! wan! !o "eal

wi!$ ano!$er air%or! ri&$! now#5

We can drive-5 +ivian sai"# /$e el! a bi! sen!imen!al# What if it,s another fifteen years before we



get together again4 s$e won"ere"#

I! was one o !$e be!!er !imes Ive $a" in a w$ile-5 E""ie sai"# '! !$e very leas!- we ou&$! !o

$ook u% in a year a! !$e same otel @ in Balboa i you &e! !oo busy#5

le!c$er wasn! sure w$en !$ey" &e! !o&e!$er a&ain# T$e rou!e !o < rom /!# Aouis wen! "irec!ly

!$rou&$ In"iana%olis alon& In!ers!a!e /even!y# +ivian was %asse" ou! col" an" leanin& ar back in $er

%assen&ers sea!# le!c$er $a" a mini im%ulse !o wake $er an" !ake a "e!our !o !$e "ea!$ s!a!ion in Beec$

@rove# T$in&s $a" been so seren"i%i!ous# ?o nee" !o mess wi!$ i! now# T$ey s%en! !$e ni&$! a! a mo!el

near ,i!!sbur&$ an" !$en !$ey me! u% wi!$ <ornelius /!uar! a! !$e < Ri!.<arl!on !$e ollowin& a!ernoon#

T$is is !$e $o!el w$ere senior Bus$ me! wi!$ /$ai& bin Aa"en on /e%!ember 11- 20018 &reepy- $u$45

le!c$er aske"# +ivian lau&$e" bois!erously like i! was a %unc$ line# T$ey reac$e" room << an" knocke"#

<ornelius o%ene"# 'alutations85 le!c$er sai"# /$a.bo! worke" ou! =us! ine8 Bu! we lost $im85

I know w$a! $a%%ene" !o $im85 <ornelius o%ene" !$e "oor wi"er an" e9!en"e" $is $an" inwar"#

<ome in85

+ivian $a" a smile rom c$eek !o c$eek# Her ears o !$e &overnmen! eva%ora!e"#i" you invi!e 'hafig 45 le!c$er aske"#

What 4885 <ornelius aske"# /$ai&45

?ever min"-5 le!c$er sai"# ' li!!le conspiracy $umor85 T$e ba!$room swun& o%en# I! was a

c$im%an.ee# /$e s!ru!!e" !o !$e &rou%# /$e wore a re" $a! w$ic$ coul"ve been ma"e by "ra%in& velve!

over a coee can# T$ere was a re" !assel an" a re" ves! wi!$ &ol" !rim# Who is this45

T$is is 'andy85 <ornelius sai"# /$e communica!es85 T$ere was a "evice on !$e be" !$a! looke"

like an &i&an!ic +lackberry# Here- /an"y85

T$e c$im% !y%e" on i!# Hello85 /an"ys mac$ine s%oke or $er#

I you like" 'ha%bot - youre &oin& !o love /an"y85 <ornelius $an"e" /an"y !o +iv#

7ou look soooo cu!e85 +iv scra!c$e" /an"y a! !$e c$in# /$e !urne" !owar" <ornelius# Ais!en8

I like" /$a.bo!### bu! we can! kee% doing !$is85

7ea$# ;ere no! marrie"# ;e "on! $ave ki"s# /ome"ay- well se!!le an" maybe $ave a c$il"###

bu!###5 le!c$s $ear! be&an !o warm# /an"y li!e" $er $a! in an a"orable &es!ure# ;e can !ake $er or a

ew "ays8 @ive us !$e ino8 How "o we !ake care o $er45

Take $er !o !$e boar"walk# Jerseys all ri%%e" u%# T$eres cons!ruc!ion workers all over !$e

%lace# ake up a story but don,t say the government gave her to you# /an"ys !raine" !o !ake coins# I

know s$es a bi! bi& or i!- bu! i!s $er cover#5 <ornelius !urne" $is back !o !$em an" walke" !o !$e win"ow#

le!c$er45 +ivian aske"# ;$a! "o ya say45

I can see us s%en"in& !ime on !$e Jersey /$ore8 7es8 T$is can &ive us a clue i were i! !o be

%aren!s85 le!c$ %u! $is $an" ou!# /an"y &ave $im ive# /$es $i%8 3eally hip85

/$e knows $ow !o use irearms85 <ornelius !urne" back aroun"# 'n" s$e knows $ow !o use a

!aser85 He reac$e" or /an"ys "evice# T$is4 ee% i! c$ar&e" w$en s$es aslee%# /$ell !alk a lo! rom

!$e backsea! o w$a!ever car youre in# on! &ive $er !oo muc$ c$ocola!e8 /$ell be&- bu! !$en s$ell be



wire" all ni&$!8 'n" beer4 Three tops85

I !$ink were &oin& !o party85 le!c$ers e9uberance "i%%e"# Hey8 7ou sai" you know w$a!

$a%%ene" !o 'ha%bot 8 7ou know Ma!! /!ubbs !ook $im# ;$a! "o you know abou! Ma!! &e!!in& !ie" u%45

Tom "i" i! on $is own-5 <ornelius sai"# ;ere !ryin& !o s!o% !$ose be$aviors# Toms a! !$e

caboose o !$is !$in&# in"ness will come in !ime### or $ell s!o% "rawin& c$ecks rom us85

I wan! !o &o !o (uantanamo +ay a!er we re!urn /an"y#5 le!c$er !ook $er rom +ivian# I wan!

!o &e! back in!o %$o!o&ra%$y# I "on! like !o s!ay away rom i! or !oo lon&#5

@uan!anamo4 I can %ull some s!rin&s#5 <ornelius scra!c$e" $is c$in# I !alke" !o brass> inner

workings- you know4 T$ey like w$a! you an" +ivian "o#5

/o i!s a "one "eal45 le!c$er bounce" /an"y like a baby# /$es s!ill youn&- isn! s$e45

one "eal4 I can &e! you a helicopter # T$e brass wan!s you !o bu.. over Ma!!s $ouse# T$ey

"on! like $im or some reason# Remember believin& !$ey were screwin& wi!$ you4 T$e &uys in !$e sky4

;ell4 ?ow ya know# ;e screw wi!$ %eo%le# I "on! !$ink !$a!s &oin& !o c$an&e#5 <ornelius !urne" back

!owar" !$e win"ow#@uan!anamo85 le!c$ le! /an"y "own an" s$e wen! !o $er "evice# I wan! (uantanamo8 Bu..

Ma!!s %lace4 /oun"s like a =oke bu! I know someone is serious#5

Babe45 +ivian calle"# /an"y wan!s !o s$ow your $er "is%lay screen#5

le!c$er rea" i!# 6ET,' (O# /$es >uick 85 +ivian an" le!c$er "rove wi!$ /an"y !$a! ni&$! an"

!$ey s!aye" a! "arrah,s in '!lan!ic <i!y# T$e ne9! "ay i! woul" be Jersey /$ore# T$is kin" o ac!ivi!y wen!

on "urin& !$e ne9! ew weeks# le!c$ an" +ivian woul" !ake !$e c$im% back an" <ornelius woul" oer an

e9o!ic %arro! reci!in& !o% secre! &overnmen! inorma!ion# T$ey" s%en" a ew "ays wi!$ !$e %arro! !$en be

&iven a w$i!e mouse !raine" !o inil!ra!e a $ouse in or"er !o in" an" re!rieve $ouse keys# Beore lon&-

le!c$ was in (uantanamo "ocumen!in& !$e $ol"in& cells o %ur%or!e" nine eleven !erroris!s# He &o! !o

visi! "angar F a! J 'ir%or! in Kueens w$ere rou&$ly a $un"re" an" i!y man&le" @roun" ero %ieces

o s!eel were ke%!# Even !$ou&$ $e wasn! allowe" !o brin& in $is ?ikon- $e embrace" a !iny bi! o closure

!$a! see%e" in re&ar"in& !$e Towers inci"en!#

I! was early '%ril w$en +ivian sle%! ne9! !o le!c$er an" woke wi!$ a reali.a!ion# T$eyre

!rainin& you !o re%lace <ornelius-5 s$e sai"# T$ey were a! !$e Ri!.<arl!on in <# T$a!s w$y !$eyre

schmoo%ing us#5

I! was !$e mi""le o !$e ni&$! w$en s$e s%oke !o $im# He $a" been layin& la! on $is back in !$e

be"- no! able !o slee%# Ive been won"erin& abou! !$a!# 7ou know !$ey ee" !urkeys an awul lo! beore

T$anks&ivin&# T$ey stuff !$em- bu! !$ey $ave ul!erior mo!ives# I won"er w$a! !$eyre "oin& wi!$ us# T$e

?'/' li&$! simula!or in Hous!on# T$a!s w$en I s!ar!e" !$inkin& !$a! !or!ure was ou! o !$eir %lans or

us#5

My "a"- le!c$er# Hes a ric$ man an" $es mys!erious even !o me#5 /$e wan!e" $im !o res%on"#

Maybe i!s a link wi!$ $im4 ' bu""y sys!em4 Ric$ wa!c$in& a!er ric$4 I know !$ey "i"n! c$oose us or

any!$in& weve "one in $i&$ sc$ool#5



I!s scary# I miss /an"y- ac!ually# I won"er $ow !$in&s !urne" ou! wi!$ /$a.bo! an" Ma!!#5 'll

o a su""en- le!c$s eyes el! $eavy# I coul" slee% now# I !$ink I nee"e" !$is !alk# I $ave many !$in&s

swirlin& in my min"#5

7ou sai" !$a! !$e irs! "ay you me! <ornelius- $e !ol" you !$ere are winners an" losers in !$e

worl">!$ere always $as been an" always will be# I !$ink maybe $e wan!s us !o be on the winning side#5

/$e rubbe" le!c$s belly un"er !$e be"s%rea"#

;innin&4 7ou woul" !$ink !$ere" be less conusion#5 le!c$ rubbe" $is eyes# Im !ire" now-

"arlin&#5 He !urne" !o $er an" kisse" $er# Ive &o!!a &e! some res!#5 T$ey sle%! un!il !en in !$e mornin&-

c$ecke" ou! ( yet again) rom !$e $o!el- !$en $ea"e" !o urry -aul,s or breakas!# <onversa!ion was

li&$! un!il !$ey were serve" i"en!ical meals o rie" e&&s wi!$ biscui!s an" &ravy# +ivian or"ere" wales on

!$e si"e# le!c$er %on"ere"- kay# T$e bulk o !$e nine eleven s!eel was su%ervise" by EM' an" was

sen! in mass !o ?ew Jersey# I !$ere" been no wron&"oin&- w$y "i" i! no! s!ay !$ere an" become use" or

!$e new socalle" 7reedom Tower 4 ;$y sell i! *uickly or %ennies on !$e "ollar !o orei&n coun!ries4 ;$y

%ay !o% "ollar !o :/ /!eel or w$oever or !$e ma!erial nee"e" or !$e new skyscra%er457oure !$inkin& !oo muc$ a&ain85 +ivian sai"# /$e looke" aroun" !$e res!auran!# I wan! !o be

or"inary like everyone else some"ay#5 /$e looke" a! $im in !$e eye# 're you wi!$ me4 're we &oin& !o

be normal people some"ay45

o you no! remember w$a! i! was like !o be a s!u"en! a! a $i&$ sc$ool &rowin& u% in

/acramen!o4 ;e wan!e" !o c$allen&e everything # ;e !$ou&$! we woul" en" &overnmen! corru%!ion#

?ow4 I won"er i were in com%lici!y wi!$ !$em# Im won"erin& i were becomin& !$e 6them !$a! we

use" !o ar&ue abou!#5 le!c$er a!e# I know !$e answer# 7ou "ie un"er !$e iron is! or you conver!#5

I!s no! !$a! easy#5 +ivian %oure" blueberry syru% on $er wales# 1ine eleven $as %asse" an"

na!ional woun"s are s!ar!in& !o $eal#5

kay8 I can acce%! !$a!#5 le!c$er s!ill el! conuse"# He el! like a ea!$er in !$e win"# He

coun!e" $is blessin&s every now an" !$en# +ivian was s!ill wi!$ $im# ;e can %lou&$ orwar"#5

I wan! !o mee! u% wi!$ E""ie or 7ourth of =uly# ;e nee" a break rom !$is sooner or la!er#5 /$e

cu! $er wales an" a!e# I wan! !o be on a <aliornia beac$ !$is summer#5

Im wi!$ you# T$ank you or lis!enin&#5 le!c$er a!e an" $ar"ly s%oke un!il !$e c$eck came#

're you rea"y or ano!$er ou!lan"is$ even!4 I can eel one comin&85

?o!$in& ou! o !$e or"inary $a%%ene" !o +iv an" le!c$ "urin& !$e ne9! ew "ays# T$ey oun"

!$emselves a! a ;as$in&!on ?a!ionals baseball &ame on a "ay !$a! Ma!! /!ubbs !ook /$a.bo! !o a Bur&er

in& in $is $ome!own o Terre Hau!e# Ma!! s$owe" /$a. $is i,a"# /ee !$ese li!!le &uys4 I con!rol !$em85

T$e a%% was The Tribe% # I can !ell !$em w$a! !o "o8 I am !$eir god 85

Tell !$a! one !o "rink a beer85 /$a. su&&es!e"# I wan! !o see $im "ance like !$e Ji!!erbu&#5

I!s no! like !$a!# I can !ell !$em !o cu! !rees- buil" $u!s- &a!$er oo"### I like your i"ea- bu!###5

Ma!! close" !$e a%% an" o%ene" ano!$er# T$is one is &andy &rush# 7ou $ave !o connec! lines o "ieren!

colore" $ar" swee!s# 'ee45



/$a.bo! "i"n! seem in!eres!e"# ;$en are +iv- le!c$er an" E""ie comin& back45

;ell %robably see !$em in summer# Toni&$!- were &oin& !o see a 1ine /nch 1ails !ribu!e ban"8

o you like ?ine Inc$ ?ails4 6I was u% above i!### ?ow Im "own in i!4 I!s !$e s!ory o my lie#5

I coul" "i& a concer!# ;oul" you like !o "o some !o% secre! s%y work4 I coul" call my %ee%s in

;as$in&!on85 /$a. scare" "own $is ;$o%%er#

'py work 4 ?o sir85 Ma!! "i%%e" ries in!o ke!c$u% !$en s!ue" !$em in!o $is mou!$# Beore

swallowin&- $e con!inue"- Im done wi!$ clan"es!ine &overnmen! o%era!ions85

7ou can! =us! *ui!85 /$a.bo! crum%le" $is bur&er wra%%er# I!s like !$e mafia# T$eyll $un!

you8 T$eyll !rack you "own# 7our %a!$ o leas! resis!ance is !o volun!eer a ew !imes a year# 7ou &o!!a

make 6em !$ink youre cool wi!$ !$e %ro&ram#5

Otherwise45 Ma!! aske"# His e!i*ue!!e wasn! all !$a! &rea! bu! $e "i"n! care# ;oul" a robo!

really be $ur! by ba" manners4 He s!ue" $al $is c$icken san"wic$ in!o $is mou!$ an" c$om%e"#

!$erwise !$eyll &e! %aranoi"8 o you know w$a! &overnmen! a&en!s "o w$en !$ey &e!

%aranoi"4 T$ey %re!en" every!$in&s ine in !$eir lives### then they tag 4O5 as being paranoid 8 T$en youcan! work- your &irlrien" "um%s you- roomma!es move ou!- you can! make ren!- you lose your =ob### an"

you win" u% on skid row in Aos 'n&eles- <aliornia ea!in& s$oe sou% an" "oin& !ricks or !wen!y "ollars a

%iece i youre lucky85

Ma!! was$e" $is oo" "own wi!$ r# ,e%%er# 7ou know4 7oure ri&$!8 7ou &e! me a &oo" &i&

an" Ill s%y on my own mom85

'no!$er !$in&85 /$a.bo! looke" aroun" !$e res!auran! cons%icuously !o make sure no one was

lis!enin&# /!o% "um%in& on @eor&e ; Bus$85 /$a. wi%e" barbe*ue sauce rom $is c$in# His "a" was a

one!ermer8 In 1FF2- !$e coun!ry sla%%e" $im in ace by elec!in& ;illiam Jeerson <lin!on8 7ou woul" be

buil"in& all !$ese s%ecial "ea!$ cam%s i you were in $is s$oes85

What 45 Ma!! looke" a! /$a.s ace !$inkin& i! coul" be a =oke# ;$a!4 Is !$a! w$y !$ey "um%e"

you on us4 or %ro%a&an"a45

1o85 /$a. si%%e" !ea !$rou&$ a s!raw# He had !o raise !a9es8 Im !alkin& abou! senior Bus$#

o you know w$a! a recession !$e coun!ry was in45

irs! o all- $e %romise" $e woul"n! "o i!8 /econ" o all- Im no! &oin& !o si! $ere ar&uin& wi!$ a

robo! w$os lookin& u% a! !$e /un an" callin& i! !$e oon85 Ma!! &o! u%# 're you rea"y45 He o%ene" $is

walle!# T$ese- my bu""y- are !$e !icke!s !o a very un ni&$!85 T$ey rea" Hea" Aike ' Hole5 on !$e !o%

an" ?ine Inc$ ?ails Tribu!e5 ri&$! below# T$e venue an" !ime were also %rin!e" wi!$ a no!e s!an"in&

room only5 on !$e bo!!om#

This rocks85 /$a. sai"# I! will be a $oller85

E""ie <ally%so $a" a &oo" !ime aroun" /$a.bo!# rom 'i* 7lags- $e re!urne" !o $is $ome in

@len"ale- <aliornia# He $a" such a &oo" !ime !$a! $e be&an !o !$ink !$a! robo!s were $i% an" $e ou&$! !o

maybe !ry com%u!er "a!in& o some kin"# Artificial intelligence has come a long way- $e i&ure"# He

c$ecke" ou! match.com an" $ooke" u% wi!$ a la"y name" ?ancy Moore# n !$e ni&$! !$a! Ma!! !ook /$a.



!o a ?ine Inc$ ?ails !ribu!e ban" s$ow- E""ie $ooke" u% wi!$ ?ancy a! BJs in Hun!in&!on# ?ancys skin

was olive an" $er eyes s%arkle"# E""ie was im%resse"# T$ey or"ere" %i..a wi!$ c$icken an" alre"o

sauce# E""ie also or"ere" a %i!c$er o Heewei.en ;$ea! an" by%asse" !$e seven sam%le beer s$o!s# I"

like !o !ell you !$a! you look splendid -5 $e sai" a!er %ourin& beer or bo!$ o !$em# I $ave !o s!ar! wi!$

!$a!#5

Thank you-5 ?ancy sai"# ;ay back w$en- I was on 7ifth Wheel an" Elimi"a!e# Im no! really

new !o com%u!er ma!c$u%s# Ive "one !$is beore#5 /$e si%%e" $er beer# 7ou "on! $ave !o worry or be

nervous# Ive seen a lo! an" youre no! &oin& !o scare me away> not in a public joint at least #5

I %icke" you because you wro!e on your rsum !$a! you $a" mil" %aranoia o bein& wa!c$e"#5

He "rank $al !$e beer in $is mu&# I &e! !$a! !oo### pretty bad #5

Ive been on T+ is all-5 ?ancy sai"# Im a universe away rom bein& an 'lis! s!ar### bu! Ive

been on T8 # I !$ink %eo%le know w$o I am w$en I s$ow u% %laces# I know I was only ea!ure" on a cou%le

o "a!in& s$ows### bu! s!ill#5

My "a" was in !$e army an" became a wea%ons lobbyis! w$en I wen! !o $i&$ sc$ool in/acramen!o# I! was weir" &rowin& u%# My "a" $a" !$is !$in& abou! rations# He sai" $e live" on

subsis!ence %ay an" o!$er alloca!ions# I !$ou&$! I coul" &e! ric$ w$en we move" "own $ere near

Hollywoo"# I ke%! !$inkin& $e was sabotaging me every !ime I coul" &e! a %ar! as an e9!ra in a movie#

<all me cra.y- bu!###5 E""ie s!o%%e" !$e wai!ress w$en s$e %asse"# I! was !$e same &al !$a! !$ey $a" w$en

+iv an" le!c$er were aroun"# E""ie or"ere" &arlic brea"# 'n" my "a" $a" enemies I su%%ose> political

enemies >because $e lobbie" or arms# T$ere are %eo%le- es%ecially nowa"ays wi!$ all !$e s$oo!in&s-

!$a!re !ryin& !o ou!law many kin"s o irearms#5

/oun"s nu!s#5 ?ancy smile"# E""ie like" $er smile# I! looke" &enuine# ?ancy sai"- I believe

any!$in& !o"ay# I $a" cra.y !$in&s $a%%en# Ill !ell you !oni&$! a! !$e %ier i !$a!s w$ere were &oin&

ne9!#5

urin& "inner- E""ie !alke" abou! $elico%!ers !railin& $im !o Jos$ua Tree ?a!ional ,ark# He !alke"

abou! believin& !$a! &$os!s were !alkin& !o $im### bu! no! rom "ea" %eo%le# He !ol" ?ancy i! was like '

Beau!iul Min"5- !$e movie# -hantom government agents talked to him when he was alone# He !alke"

abou! le!c$s work in Beec$ @rove an" $e men!ione" !$a! +ivian believe" Aaura Bus$ $a" %syc$ics $one"

in on $er# I!s !o!al bulls$i!-5 E""ie sai"# I!s like !$e Twili&$! one w$en a man an" la"y run aroun" an

em%!y !own an" every!$in& is ake# <ars "on! $ave en&ines an" %$one boo!$s "on! work# inally- !$ey

look u% a! !$e en" an" see a &ian! youn& &irl# /$e was an alien or some!$in&- even !$ou&$ s$e looke"

$uman- an" !$ey were like "olls !o $er# -lay things#5

o you eel warehoused 4 o you eel like !$eyre storing you or a reason or ano!$er4 o you

eel like youre a $os!a&e4 o you eel like somew$ere in < !$ere are c$il"ren in a"ul!s bo"ies oolin&

wi!$ us like Ae&o4 I &e! !$ose eelin&s#5 ?ancy won"ere" i E""ie was $avin& a &oo" !ime# T$ese seeme"

like weir" !o%ics or a irs! "a!e#

I "on! know w$a! $a%%ene"# I &e! on !$e roa" an" i! seems like everyone is los! aroun" me#5



;$en !$e wai!ress %asse" by- E""ie aske" or !$e c$eck# I &ra"ua!e" rom 3osemont "igh in 1FFC an"

!$a! summer- my "a" !ook me !o a an Aun&ren un"raiser>$e was !$e 3epublican can"i"a!e or &overnor

a!er ,e!e ;ilson# I remember my "a" sayin& w$a! bullshit ,e!e ;ilson was- !$ou&$# He sai" $e woul"n!

run or %resi"en!### an" $e "i"# He was totally a&ains! ille&al immi&ra!ion in all $is s%eec$es bu! $e $a" an

un"ocumen!e" $ousekee%er# I was a! !$e un"raiser an" I !alke" !o someone abou! i!# They got pissed #

,lus- my "a"s bro!$er was !$ere- 5ncle +oom +oom# His real name was Jas%er bu! $e wen! by Boom

Boom because $e $a" a &ara&e "oor com%any- +oom +oom oors 66& # He $a" "ee%er %ocke!s !$an my

"a" an" you $a" !o walk on e&&s$ells aroun" $im# I you $a" a ive o clock s$a"ow- $e" =us! as soon sla%

your ace an" call you a $i%%ie ra"ial# I wan!e" !o be a businessman w$en I was youn&>I mean- I really

wan!e" !$e money !$a! came wi!$ i!>bu! !$a! ni&$!- I reali.e" I wasn! w$a! !$ey were# I! el! evil on some

level# T$ey !alke" cra% abou! scum ba&s livin& in urban slums an" $ow !$ey were &onna clean i! all u% by

buil"in& %rison a!er %rison# nce in a w$ile- !$ey" make sni"e remarks abou! me# I mean- !$ey woul"n!

men!ion me by name bu! !$ey woul" "escribe s!u abou! me### like my shoes or hair #5

I un"ers!an"-5 ?ancy sai"# o you wan! !o inis$ !$is !alk near !$e ocean45 I! reake" me ou! is all I wan! !o say#5 He le! money or !$e bill an" or a !i%# T$ey %re!en"

like I picked !$e si"e Im on# Im liberal# I! eels &rea!# T$ey %us$e" me ou! as muc$ I wan!e" !o win" u%

on !$e %oli!ical le!- !$ou&$#5

Ae!s &o#5 ?ancy &o! u% an" %ulle" E""ie rom $is sea!# I wan! !o %u! my ee! in !$e wa!er

w$en we &e! !o !$e beac$#5 In i!een minu!es- !$ey were un"er !$e %ier wi!$ !$eir s$oes o# I! was "ark

an" !$ere was no si&n o !$e Moon# T$ey %laye" aroun" an" !$en sa! !o&e!$er on !$e san"# /o you !$ink

your lie was s!olen rom you45 ?ancy "eci"e" s$e woul" say yes5 i aske" ou! a&ain#

'tolen from me4 I "on! know w$a! !$e uck was &oin& on8 I!s unny because my bu""ies-

le!c$ an" +iv- were &iven !$is robo! because we ke%! ran!in& abou! in=us!ices# 6'ha%bot is $is name# T$is

android $a" !$is %er%e!ual boner or any!$in& ri&$!win&>!$a! was $is %ro&rammin&# He rave" abou! ;

because !$ere wasn! ano!$er nine eleven### bu! we all know $e was in on !$e ori&inal85 E""ie reac$e" or

?ancys $an" an" $el" i!# I $aven! el! !$is &oo" in a lon& !ime# T$ere were !imes w$en co%s woul" %ark

ou!si"e my $ouse an" %re!en" !$ey were a!!en"in& !o some aloo business# I el! like I was on !$e run or

abou! !en years### =us! or bein& willin& !o !alk abou! al!erna!ive !$eories o w$a! was really &oin& on in

worl" aairs# T$e w$ole iebold !$in& in 200D w$en Bus$ s!ole !$e elec!ion4 'n" !$is is a!er !$e lori"a

iasco in 20008 o you know w$a! ubya !ol" Ma!! Aauer was $is wors! momen!45

;ai!85 ?ancy $el" u% $er in&er# I know !$is8 I! was a!er a!rina w$en ?anye West sai" !$a!

Bus$ "oesn! like black %eo%le "urin& a live !ele!$on or !$e $urricane vic!ims85

4es85 E""ie s$ook $is $ea"# Enou&$ abou! !$a!# I!" be nice !o !ake you ou! a&ain#5 ?ancy

leane" over an" smooc$e" E""ie on !$e li%s# He was $a%%y an" wan!e" !o in!ro"uce ?ancy !o +iv an"

le!c$- maybe in !$e summer#

n !$e "ay a!er E""ies irs! "a!e wi!$ ?ancy- le!c$ an" +iv s!oo" in a Ma"ison- @eor&ia iel"

wi!$ le!c$s a!$er- ;al!er Browne# ;$os !$e s$or! &uy45 ;al!er aske"# He was reerrin& !o !$e mi"&e!



w$om !osse" urine in!o Ma!!s ace# T$is s$or! &uy5 wore a black !u9e"o#

<I'- "a"-5 le!c$er sai"# He s$ook $is a!$ers $an"# 7ou remember +iv- o course#5

+ivian smile" an" sai"- 6ong time# no see85

le!c$er &es!ure" !owar" !$e s$or! &uy5 an" in!ro"uce" $im- T$is is 'pencerK /%encer

Aaaye!!e# I &o! involve" in !$is sensi!ive %$o!o session- one !$in& lea"s !o !$e o!$eran" beore I know i!###

Im !akin& $ome c$im%s- an"roi"s an" ver!ically c$allen&e"#5

4ou can call me Jmidget, # In !$ese circums!ances- I see no reason or %oli!ical correc!ness#5

/%encer walke" !o a black %las!ic s!ora&e bo9# ;e "on! $ave !o call !$ese 6%olymer vaul!s# T$eyre

coins# T$eyre bi& enou&$ !o $ol" all !$ree o you# T$ey can %robably $ol" !en %eo%le my si.e#5

I! &oes by 6Hercules- "a"#5 le!c$er rowne"# Remember E""ie <ally%so4 His "a" lobbie" or

!$e sale o !$ese !o 7EA a! a !ime#5

'n" !$ere use" !o be a $al million $ere in !$is iel"4 ;$ere $ave !$ey &one45 ;al!er Browne

scra!c$e" $is $ea"#

&hicago### I !$ink#5 le!c$ $an"e" $is a!$er some %$o!os# T$is is a cou%le o years a&o w$enevery!$in& was s!ore" $ere# ne $an" "oesn! know w$a! !$e o!$ers "oin&# ;$en +iv ori&inally sen! me

$ere- I convince" mysel !$a! !$ese were in case an emer&ency "ea"ly virus &o! in!o our worl"### like in !$e

us!in Homan movie# T$e &enter for isease &ontrol is in '!lan!a# Ma"e sense !o me### bu! I came

across this#5 le!c$ $an"e" over !$e Beec$ @rove "ea!$ s!a!ion %ic!ures# <oncen!ra!ion cam% in

'mericas $ear!lan"#5

;al!er Browne s$ook $is $ea"# World War /// be&an on /e%!ember 11- 2001# ;e los! a war8 I

can! &e! over !$a! our coun!ry is gone some$ow85

Ive been &oin& aroun" !o @uan!anamo- @rena"a- ,anama an" o!$er %laces# /%encers been

illin& us in on s$i! !$a!s blown my min"# I !$ou&$! I coul" $an"le any!$in&# /u%%ose"ly- !$eyve

wi!$"rawn# ;e call !$em !$e 3ogues a!er a &an& in a movie#5 le!c$er !ook $is ?ikon an" sna%%e" a ew

!imes# Ive &o!!a "ocumen! !$e 6a!er $ere# I wan!e" !o mee! or lunc$ in '!lan!a bu! +ivian convince"

me I ou&$! !o s$ow you w$a! were workin& on#5

T$ey &a.e" *uie!ly a! a cou%le o $un"re" %las!ic coins w$ic$ were s!acke" like %a%er bowls#

;al!ers Hummer was %arke" be$in" le!c$s ren!al car# ;al!er inally broke !$e silence- T$eres a %lace

calle" 7o* +rothers +ar +L on !$e Twen!y =us! as you &e! in!o !$e ci!y# ollow me !$ere45 He looke" a!

/%encer# ;oul" you like !o ri"e s$o!&un wi!$ me45 /%encers ace li! u%# He no""e" yes5 an" climbe"

in!o ;al!s !all ourbyour wi!$ou! $el%# Beore lon&- !$ey were or"erin& bur&ers an" ries#

T$ey were surren"erin& !o camera crews8 T$e war !ook a $un"re" $ours8 7ou sai" i! was your

%rou"es! momen! as an 'merican85 le!c$er $a" $is a!$ers ull a!!en!ion> a rarity# Bus$ was &onna &e!

elec!e" in a landslide come 1FF28 ' war $ero8 ur las! real war was in +ie!nam an" i! "i"n! &o well# Bu!

some!$in& $a%%ene"8 6 /t,s the economy# stupid 8 Remember !$a!4 'n" were &oin& !$rou&$ i! now8

'e>uester 4 ;$a!s !$a!4 unny !$in& is !$a! ol man Bus$ called it 8 +oo"oo economics8 ;$en $e ran

a&ains! Rea&an in 1FL0- !$e na!ional "eb! was one !rillion "ollars# I! *ua"ru%le" un"er &oo" ol 3onnie an"



now i!s si9!een !rillion an" coun!in&8 /o I !$ink Bus$ $a" mo!ive85

(eorge "erbert Walker +ush- ormer "irec!or o !$e <I'- $a" mo!iva!ion !o s!ick i! !o our

coun!ry because $e wasn! reelec!e"45 ;al!er s$ook $is $ea"# I "on! believe i! was merely nine!een

$i=ackers workin& alone any more !$an anyone else "oes### bu!### &ive me more# ;$y !$ese mass %las!ic

coins4 ;$y !$a! $i"eous cam% in Beec$ @rove45

/ink or swim# T$eres no!$in& s%ecial in our wa!er- "a"#5 le!c$er looke" a! +ivian# /$e looke"

like s$e wan!e" !o cu! in# le!c$ i&ure" s$e" say some!$in& abou! fluoride# Hi!ler "i" i!# /!alin "i" i!#

?a%oleon "i" i!# An insane grab at absolute power # T$ere are more !$in&s %oin!in& in !$e "irec!ion !$a! i!

was !$e 3ogues >!$ese ol"er- $ar"line conserva!ives in key &overnmen! %osi!ions# Remember !$a! movie

wi!$ Harrison or" w$ere $is wie &e!s an immuni!y "eal !o !es!iy an" !$en s$e conesses !$a! $er $usban"

coul"n! $ave commi!!e" a cer!ain mur"er### because it was her 4 T$ese movies are a relec!ion o life# '!

!$e be&innin&- !$e cul%ri! is so obvious# By !$e en" o !$e s$ow- i!s all reverse" an" sus%ec!s are cleare"

w$ile !$e mos! seemin&ly innocen! %erson is !$e one w$o $a" every!$in& ri&&e"# The butler did it# you

know4 /cooby oo### bu! on a worl" scale85 le!c$er "rank so"a !$rou&$ a s!raw an" en=oye" a caeinerus$# ?o mo!$er ever believes $er son is ca%able o mur"er bu! we see i! all !$e !ime8 I "i"n! wan! !o

believe any o !$is- ei!$er85

/o /co!! orbes is workin& a! i"uciary Trus! on /e%!ember ei&$!$ an" nin!$- !$e weeken" beore

!$e a!!acks4 T$eres a %ower "own w$ere $es a! in !$e sou!$ !ower rom !$e i!ie!$ loor an" $i&$er4

/ecuri!y cameras were o as su%%ose" cable &uys u%&ra"e" in!erne! lines an" lou" soun"s coul" be $ear"

above $im4 His com%any $a" oices be!ween nine!y an" nine!yseven### ; Bus$s bro- Marvin- was $ea"

o securi!y a! !$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er a! !$e !ime### an" one o !$ese loors $i&$ u% is com%le!ely em%!y4

/co!! orbes wa!c$es !$e !owers &o "own on !$e "ay o nine eleven rom Jersey <i!y# iremen claim !$ey

wi!nesse" las$es###w$ic$ can now be seen in slomo vi"eo### bu! !$eyre $us$e"# T$eres no wrecka&e in

,ennsylvania- no wrecka&e ou!si"e o !$e ,en!a&on- no black bo9es recovere" in !$e rubble in ?ew 7ork###

an" o9 local news in <levelan"- W&-O$T8 - claime" li&$! F3 lan"e" a! Ho%kins 'ir%or!# Mayor ;$i!e

corrobora!es8 /ome$ow- everyones !ol" !o s$u! u%8 'n 6oicial s!ory is s!ar!in& !o ma!eriali.e an" i! $as

nothing !o "o wi!$ ?R' com%lici!y8 I! "oesn! $ave any!$in& !o "o wi!$ a ac! !$a! we were in !$e

secon" "ay o "rills in w$ic$ !erroris!s $i=ack an =umbo =e! an" aim !o $i! a skyscra%er in !$e Bi& '%%le4

Mayor ;illie Brown o risco was !ol" no! !o ly beore nine eleven# &onspiracy4 ' $al $our a&o- I saw

evi"ence !$a! !$e &overnmen! !$rou&$ EM' was %re%are" !o %u! many- many $umans in c$ea% coins# I

coul" be in "enial like !$e millions w$omve &one alon& wi!$ !$e socalle" 6oicial s!ory### bu! my min" is

s!ar!in& !o gnaw a! me# I can! buy i!#5 ;al!er "rank rom a &lass o ice wa!er# -resumed /nnocent - son-5

;al!er sai"# T$e Harrison or" movie you brou&$! u%4 'n" I "on! believe s$e conesse" on !$e s!an"# I

!$ink $e oun" bloo"y &ar"en e*ui%men! or some!$in&# He knew !$en### an" s$e conesse" !o $im#5

T$anks- "a"85 le!c$er leane" an" kisse" +ivian on !$e c$eek# /!u like !$a! bu&s me# I" &o

!o slee% !ryin& !o i&ure ou! !$e movies name85

Hey &uys-5 /%encer sai"# 7ou !ell really &oo" s!ories### bu! Im $ere !oo- you know45



+ivian looke" s!rai&$! a! /%encer an" !ook o $is "ress $a!> he looked like a small Al &apone to

herK an" s$e rus!le" $is $air# 7ou sure are $ere- /%encer baby85 /$e mi&$!ve a""e" &oo &oo- &a &a5

because s$e s%oke in !$e same !one !$a! s$e" s%eak !o a !o""ler# Her ocus became a"ul! a&ain# 're you

sayin& !$a! nine eleven "oesn! $a%%en i :/' elec!s @eor&e H; Bus$ %resi"en! in 1FF245

7ea$-5 le!c$ sai"# Bu! no! "eini!ely# T$e Bus$es an" bin Aa"ens &o way back# I !$ink !$e

sure be! woul"ve been i an Kuayle woul"ve been elec!e" !o consecu!ive !erms in 1FFG an" 2000# T$e

Re%ublicans- es%ecially !$e core 3ogues- !ruly believe !$ey are !$e e%i!ome o &oo"ness# T$ey believe

emocra!s barely *ualiy !o be calle" 6$uman an" !$ey consi"er every!$in& else as mil"ew# I !$ink !$e

Bus$ amily no! =us! el! betrayed by 'merica in 1FF2- I !$ink !$ey believe" !$e %o%ulous be!raye"

&oo"ness i!sel85

+ut he said he wouldn,t raise ta*es-5 ;al!er Browne sai"# I move" our amily !o /acramen!o

beore you wen! in!o $i&$ sc$ool because I wan!e" you !o un"ers!an" %oli!ics close u%# T$eres a lo! !$ey

say in commercials an" you know now rom e9%erience !$a! i!s *ui!e o!en way "ieren! !$an w$a! you see

wi!$ your own !wo eyes#57oure sayin& $es /ron an#5 +ivian no!ice" a %u..le" look on le!c$s ace# ?o! !$e movie

su%er$ero# ..ys Iron Man# ?ills the people he once saved #5

@la" you cleare" !$a! u%# Im !ryin& !o %ic!ure any %resi"en! in !$e Iron Man sui! rom !$e

movies# ?ills the people he once saved 4 7es# I !$ink !$a! was $is in!en! bu! w$ere ar!$ +a"er was no!

successul- Herber! ;alker was# T$e "ark si"e- you know45 le!c$ no!ice" /%encer s*uirmin&# Hey

/%ence4 7ouve &o!!a $ave a !ake on !$is45

T$eyre all $eroes !o me-5 /%encer sai"# I know you com%laine" abou! 'ha%bot &oin& on an" on

abou! $ow &rea! our &overnmen! is### bu! !$e !ru!$ is- s$i! $a%%ens# Wars happen# T$eres never been a

%erio" o $uman $is!ory w$ere a war wasn! &oin& on somewhere or ano!$er#5

(ood answer 85 ;al!er sai"# He looke" !o +ivian# I!s so cute !o see a <I' mi"&e! si!!in& wi!$

us85

Hey man85 /%encer &rowle"# I can i&ure !$in&s ou! !$a! no one else can8 He you ever been on

!$e lo! o a Hollywoo" ma=or %ro"uc!ion4 I $ave85

@oo"- /%encer85 le!c$ !rie" !o "iuse $is emo!ional re!or!# ;ere no! ar rom isney ;orl"

in lori"a# Ive $a" a really swell !ime wi!$ /$a. a! no! one- bu! two# !$eme %arks alrea"y# 7ou u% or !$e

c$allen&e4 I "on! !$ink youre !$is u%!i&$! all !$e !ime85

I can "rink you un"er !$e !able85 /%encer slamme" $is small is! on!o !$e "iner !able# I say we

all %oun" a i!$ o (oldschlMger w$en we &e! !$ere# I none o yous %uke" a!er a ew !$rill ri"es- Ill

$ave real res%ec! or you85

I like @ol"sc$lN&er85 +ivian smile"# le!c$er s!ill $a" !$e ,olaroi" o $er wi!$ $im in $is %ocke!#

I! was !aken more !$an !en years %rior in +ene.uela bu! i! was li&$!in& in a bo!!le# ;$en +ivian smile"- s$e

coul" move !$e worl"# T$a!s !$e way le!c$er !ook !$in&s# He !ruly wasn! sure i $e was alone in seein&

a bri&$!ness in $er or i i! was evi"en! !o all w$om came across $er# +ivians smile "i"n! c$an&e over !$e



years# /$e was unaware !$a! s$e was "eci"in& or !$e &rou%# Im in85 s$e sai"#

le!c$er was only $al serious w$en $e c$allen&e" /%encer# +ivian now ma"e i! oicial# T$ere

was a ear !$ere below !$e conscious level# +ivian $a" smirks an" s$e $a" &rins# ;$en $er smile wen!

c$eek !o c$eek- le!c$er was arai" !o say no5# T$a! %ar!icular ra"ian! smile mi&$! never come back- a!

leas! no! in i!s ull orm# He never !ol" $er $ow muc$ i! mean!# He com%lemen!e" !$e &leam in $er eyes

an" i! !ickle" $im w$en $er ore$ea" wrinkle" wi!$ eelin&s o conusion# ?o! only am I in### Im &oin&

!o one u% you85 He las$e" $is own smile an" reac$e" or +ivs $an" !o le! $er know $e wasn! seriously

com%e!in& wi!$ $er wis$# '!er isney ;orl"- I say we !ake a &arnival cruise85

7uck85 ;al!ers ace became sour# '!er !$e "isas!er4 T$ere was sewage in all !$e $alls8

Aivin& $orror s!ory i Ive ever $ear" o one85

7es8 Especially since !$ey $a" !$a! !ra&ic en&ine ailure85 le!c$ !$ou&$! $e" $ear %ro!es! bu!

&o! none# T$ey will &o ou! o !$eir way or !$e ne9! year or !wo !o make sure everyone $as !$e !imes o

!$eir lives8 /ervice will be !$rou&$ !$e roo85

Im in85 ;al!er wi%e" $is mou!$ o !an&y barbe*ue sauce# Im in8 I $aven! $a" a &oo" amilyvaca!ion in a looooong !ime# Im sorry your mo!$ers no! $ere- le!c$- bu! I can se! our "ierences asi"e i

you wan! !o invi!e $er#5

4ou,re still not speaking 45 +ivian aske"# T$a!s !oo ba"#5

Ill ask mom i every!$in& &oes well a!er isney ;orl"# Ae!s s!ar! !$ere85 le!c$er &o! u%#

're you &uys rea"y !o $i! !$e roa" a&ain45

Ae!s &e! !$e li*uor now an" &e! an early s!ar!85 /%encer sai"# T$e &rou% "um%e" le!c$s ren!al

car in '!lan!a an" $ea"e" !owar" rlan"o# isney ;orl" came an" wen! an" !$ey oun" !$emselves on a

lu9ury liner in !$e <aribbean# T$is is !$e life85 /%encer !oas!e" !$e &rou%# He e9c$an&e" $is !u9 or

=es!ers a!!ire# He el! comor!able !$a! way# ,eo%le aroun" $im assume" $e was %ar! o ski! somew$ere or

ano!$er# I! ma"e $im lau&$ w$en s!ran&ers woul" come u% an" ask w$en $is s$ow was#

7ou "i"n! "rink any o us un"er !$e !able85 le!c$er looke" rom /%encer !o a s!a&e w$ere =a..

musicians were se!!in& u%# T$ey "ine" aroun" a circular !able in a lus$ loun&e room# 7ou "rank half a

i!$ an" s!ar!e" com%lainin& abou! your s!omac$85

I! was some!$in& I a!e- man85 /%encer rubbe" $is !ummy# I s!ill eel i!85

7ou !alk !all !o com%ensa!e or### ;ell45 +ivian "i"n! wan! !o be cruel bu! /%encer $a" s$own

!$ick skin# 7oure a small man wi!$ !all !ales8 Hows !$a!45

7ou can say all you wan!8 Have you ever =u&&le" ive bowlin& %ins45 /%encer i""le" wi!$

$an&in& balls rom $is =es!ers ca%# I =u&&le knives- !oo85

Ae!s &e! back !o @eor&e ; Bus$85 ;al!er Browne "rank rom a &lass o bur&un"y wine#

"arper,s ma"e a case !o im%eac$ an" no one lis!ene"# T$is is a &uy w$o was wron& abou! ;Ms an" a

&uy w$o you believe cons%ire" !o brin& "own "omes!ic buil"in&s in ?ew 7ork !o =us!iy im%lemen!in&

na!ional mar!ial law# 7ou !$ink !$ere were a $un"re" !imes more reason !o im%eac$ $im !$an <lin!on bu!

3ogues no! only "een"e" $im be$in" !$e scenes- !$ey encoura&e" $im45



Time will !ell- "a"#5 le!c$ers eyes were s!ill on !$e musicians se!!in& u%# :nor!una!ely- every

momen! !$a! !$ey roam ree an" s%eak on /un"ay mornin& %oli!ical s$ows- our coun!ry sli"es ur!$er an"

ur!$er in!o !$e uckin s!one a&e#5

6ewis 6apham#5 +ivian $an"e" $er i,a" !o ;al!er# T$anks !o mo"ern ameni!ies- we "on! $ave

!o wai! or !$e ar!icle# Back w$en you were in sc$ool- you" $ave !o &o !o a librarys microic$e8 I be! !$a!

was a nuisance85

+iv wan!s !o &o !o Mi"lan"- Te9as a!er !$is# T$a!s w$ere Aaura ;elc$ ran a s!o% si&n an" kille"

Mic$ael ou&las#5 le!c$ inally !urne" $is eyes !o !$e &rou%#

6aura Welch0 ichael ouglas05 ;al!er was conuse"# I woul"ve known i Mic$ael

ou&las will kille" in an au!omobile acci"en!#5

=7?# blown away-5 +ivian sai"# I! was !$e same mon!$ !$a! J was s$o! in allas# Aaura

;elc$s boyrien"- Mic$ael ou&las- was !$rown rom $is car an" suere" a broken neck# le!c$er wan!s

!o &o !o Memorial Hos%i!al w$ere $e was %ronounce" "ea"# He was Aauras boyrien" in $i&$ sc$ool a! a

!ime# Aaura woul" la!er marry an" become 6aura +ush# I $a" some!$in& cra.y $a%%en a w$ile back w$eresome reaky s!u"en!s !ol" me s$e was u!ili.in& clairvoyan!s !o s%y on me85

/o were no! !alkin& abou! !$e actor 8 @oo"85 ;al!er was "rawn !o !$e musicians le!c$ $a"

been in!ri&ue" by# /oun" c$eck was s!ar!in&# ee"back coul" be $ear" or a ew momen!s#

i" you know ick <$eney s$o! a lawyer in !$e face in Te9as4 T$ey run a bu""y sys!em !$a!s

"es%icable- "a"8 Aaura ;elc$ was no! c$ar&e" or anything w$en s$e kille" $er e9boyrien" in B@<8

<$eney4 T$ey were on a $un!in& !ri% an" i! was c$alke" u% !o an acci"en!8 T$isin a s!a!e known or

lockin& %eo%le u% an" !$rowin& away !$e key85

Bu! i!s no! really them !$a! screwe" 'merica- ri&$!45 ;al!er si&nale" or ano!$er &lass o wine

rom a inely"resse" wai!er# The 3ogues8 T$e "u"es in !$e socalle" Mili!ary In"us!rial <om%le98 T$e

uckers rom ,$ili% Morris w$o finance !$em by %ayin& a *uar!er mil %er %la!e !o si! a! a un"raisin& even!8

T$e me"ia cocksuckers w$o &ive !$e masses a c$oice o 6screwe" over bi& !ime an" 6screwe" over- no! as

ba"8 T$ose are !$e =ackasses w$o s!ole real "emocracy rom us85

7ou were rien"s wi!$ E""ie <ally%sos a!$er w$en I wen! !o 3osemont "igh- ri&$! "a"45 le!c$

wai!e" or $is "a" !o no" yes5 !$en $e con!inue"- E""ie wen! !o one o !$ese ba! s$i! un"raisers a lon&-

lon& !ime a&o# an Aun&ren- a Re%ublican can"i"a!e or &overnor o <aliornia- $a" !$is ri!.y even! in

,alo 'l!o# E""ies uncle- +oom +oom- s!ar!e" &e!!in& all snoo!y so E""ie "eci"es $es &onna bail- ri&$!4

He !$inks $es &onna in" a mo!el somew$ere nearby bu! $e win"s u% walkin& i!een miles in !$e rain

beore $e calls me an" +iv !o %ick $im u%# Hes convince" !$a! i!s a &enera!ion !$in& an" !$a! i!s !$e

be&innin& o !$e en" or us# 6They,re selling us out - I remember $im sayin&#5

His uncle- +oom +oom- was "oin& really &oo" moneywise un!il $e sol" $is &ara&e "oor

com%any an" wen! in!o real es!a!e# I! was ba" !imin&# He use" !o be a really &oo" &uy- !oo8 He invi!e" me

!o $is coun!ry club w$en I was c$ums wi!$ E""ies "a"- ;ins!on# I !ol" !$em I was vo!in& or @ore in

2000 an" &uess w$a! $a%%ene"4 T$ey s!o%%e" !alkin& !o me8 ?o! only "i" !$ey s!o% !alkin& !o me- I swear



I s!ar!in& no!icin& cable vans %arke" in ron! o !$e $ouse# Im !alkin& abou! work !$a! wen! on or weeks85

;al!er !ook a &lass o wine rom !$e inely"resse" wai!er#

'pies45 +ivian aske"#

I !ry no! !o !alk abou! i! because o !$e 6%aranoia s!i&ma bu!- yes# I !alke" !o Eddie abou! i! one

"ay w$ile $e wai!e" or le!c$ !o &e! "resse" w$en you all were !eena&ers# -ropensity. T$a!s !$e wor" I

!ol" $im# I use" !o $ave !$ese nei&$bors w$o woul" ban& away a! %ersonal cons!ruc!ion %ro=ec!s ne9! "oor#

le!c$s mom sai" !$ey woul" only "o !$is !en or i!een minu!es a!er I came $ome rom work w$en I

wan!e" some %eace !o rea" or na%# I I $a" erran"s !o run an" i I came $ome a cou%le o $ours la!er- !$ey

woul" wai! un!il then !o s!ar! $ammerin& away# -ropensity- you see45

I!s unny- "a"8 ;e me! u% wi!$ E""ie in Hun!in&!on an" $e s!ar!in& !alkin& abou! !$a!# I never

knew i! came rom you8 He some!$in& else# -redication# House o car"s kin" o !$in&# ne !$in& buil"s

on !$e o!$er#5 le!c$er no!ice" /%encer becomin& res!less# ;$y "on! you ask !$e =a.. &uys i !$eyll le!

you sin&45

(ood idea85 /%encer ran o !o !$e s!a&e#'re you serious45 +ivian aske" le!c$er#

I was kin"a messin& aroun"#5 le!c$ wa!c$e" /%encer s%eak !o a !rum%e! %layer#

,re"ica!ion4 7ea$# I !alke" !o E""ie abou! !$a! on !$e same "ay# T$e Bri!is$ &overnmen! is buil!

on !$e le&en" o in& 'r!$ur- you see4 I!s predicated - in o!$er wor"s- on !$e s!ory !$a! a la"y in a lake

&ave a &uy a ma&ical swor" w$ic$ was la!er lun&e" in!o a &ian! rock# 's arc$aic s!ories &o an" subse*uen!

rules a%%ly- !$e %erson w$o coul" %ull !$e swor" rom !$e s!one became ruler o !$e lan"# -redication# '

&overnmen! was se! u% aroun" !$is s%ecial c$a% an" a monarc$y ensue" in w$ic$ $is os%rin& woul" run

!$in&s or e!erni!y# ?ow### i a %erson or groups o %eo%le i&ure" ou! !$a! no suc$ la"y in !$e lake ever

e9is!e"- !$e w$ole !$in& alls a%ar!# 7ou &e! colonis!s ou! $ere in 'merica w$o believe !$a! in& @eor&e

was =us! ano!$er "u"e no "ieren! rom you or me### an" you &e! revolu!ion#5 ;al!er wa!c$e" /%encer &rab

a micro%$one rom one o !$e musicians# Ai&$!s "imme" a li!!le#

And if &hrist be not raised# your faith is in vainN ye are yet in your sins#5 le!c$ers eyes $a"

rolle" back like $e was rea"in& rom a c$alkboar" insi"e o $is skull# ,re"ica!ion# /ain! ,aul wro!e in !$e

irs! e%is!le !o !$e <orin!$ians !$a! i! mattered # I Jesus "i" no! %$ysically rise rom !$e "ea"- all ai!$ was

u!ile# ;$en I s!ar!e" &e!!in& serious wi!$ +iv in $i&$ sc$ool- I remember askin& you abou! reli&ious issues

an" w$a! c$urc$ we s$oul" &o !o### or i we s$oul" &o !o c$urc$ a! all# 7ou !ol" me !$a! verse# 7ou sai" I

$a" !o i&ure i! ou! or mysel#5 Every!$in& became "ark an" !$e "rums be&an !o roll# le!c$er !urne"

aroun" !o !$e s!a&e be$in" $im# ' s%o!li&$! ocuse" on /%encer# &rap85 le!c$er coul"n! believe w$a!

$e was seein&#

6adies and gentlemen85 /%encer !$um%e" !$e micro%$one a ew !imes# ;elcome !o <arnival

<ruises85 ,eo%le c$eere"# ;e $ave a &rea! ni&$! o classic =a..85 ,eo%le cla%%e" an" music be&an# Oh

when the saints... &ome marching iiiiiiiin. Oh when the saints come marching iiiiiiiiin###5 /%encer san&

!$e irs! number !$en re!urne" !o $is !able wi!$ ;al!er- +ivian an" le!c$# T$a! was a rio!85 $e !ol" !$em#



He "rank some ice wa!er !$en wa!c$e" !$e musicians carry on wi!$ou! $im#

T$a! was good - /%encer85 ;al!er com%limen!e" !$e minia!ure sin&er in a =es!ers &arb# or

or!yive minu!es- !$ey en=oye" live classics an" "i"n! "iscuss any!$in& w$ile !$e ban" %laye"# or !$e

ne9! ew "ays- i! was =oy# /$uleboar"- %ools- an" casinos#

le!c$er Browne woke u% s!ra%%e" !o a co!# He el! "a.e" an" allowe" $is $ea" !o look aroun"#

+ivian /!ree!s was s!ra%%e" !o a co! ne9! !o $im# /$e was aslee%# He no!ice" %ower !ools $ois!e" !o il!$y

%e&boar"s# T$e smell o mo!or oil was !$ick# Ai&$! came !$rou&$ broken &lass win"ows $i&$ in !$e

ra!ers# irec!ly above $im was a ne! w$ic$ $el" many boul"ers# +iv45 le!c$er looke" or $er eyes !o

o%en# Wake up85 He !rie" !o wi&&le $is way rom !$e bel!s !$a! $el" $im "own#

' "oor o%ene"# ;al!er Browne walke" in wi!$ /%encer# T$is !ime- /%encer was in a c$i%munk

cos!ume# ;ere in 4ucatn- son85 ;al!er walke" aroun" !$e co!s w$ere le!c$ an" +iv were# 7ou know

!oo muc$#5 He scra!c$e" $is c$in# ;ins!on an" Jas%er <ally%so $ave !i&$! !ies !o <ornelius /!uar!# I

can! $ave you "o w$a! youve been "oin&# 7ou came across our secre!s### an" I can! aor" !o le! you !ell

!$e worl" !$a! weve buil! concen!ra!ion cam%s### an" !$a! weve s!ocke" %las!ics coins ca%able o"is%osin& $un"re"s o !$ousan"s o cor%ses# I can! $ave !$a!#5

What,s... going... on45 +ivian ease" in!o consciousness# ;$ere### are### we45

/%encer walke" !o +ivian an" move" $air rom over $er eyes# T$is is an aban"one" mec$anics

s$o%- +iv# T$ose are s!ones $el" in a ne! above you#5

What 45 +ivian looke" aroun" !$en looke" a! le!c$er# le!c$er4 ;$a!s $a%%enin&45

Ha%%enin&45 ;al!er "eci"e" !o answer or $is son# 7ou saw !$e %ic!ures o %re!.elle" Ira*i

%risoners an" youve seen marines %issin& on "ea" Taliban bo"ies# 7ou know !$a! ma"ness e9is!s bu! you

never really can !ell w$ere or w$en i!ll $a%%en#5 ;al!er %oin!e" !o !$e rocks# T$ere is a !$ick ro%e w$ic$

$ol"s !$ese !$in&s rom crus$in& you# Think +atman- i you will# I will li&$! !$a! ro%e on ire an" i! will be

a ma!!er o !ime beore you are crus$e" !o "ea!$8 I will !ake /%encer back !o !$e cruise s$i% because !$e

layover isn! a lon& one# By now- youve i&ure" ou! !$a! your "rinks were s%ike" wi!$ se"a!ives# I will

leave !$is ol" as$ione" !a%e recor"er be!ween you !wo an" I $o%e !o re!rieve i! in or"er !o lis!en !o your

inal momen!s# Tru!$ be known- I wan! !o $ear conessions8 7ou "are %re!en" !$a! our &overnmen! is

some$ow wicked 4 ;$a! a lu"icrous !$ou&$!85

a"45 le!c$er swea!e"# a"4 ;$a! !$e $eck45

I mus! be &oin&85 ;al!er %ro"uce" a yellow Bic li&$!er# ' !$in use le" u% !o !$e !$ick ro%e# I!

was nice $avin& you as a son85 ;al!er li! !$e use# He li!erally ski%%e" ou! o !$e s$o% wi!$ /%encer

!railin& $im#

;$a! are we &onna "o45 le!c$er s!ru&&le"# <an you &e! loose- +iv45

Hu$45 +ivian "i"n! move# 're you really &oin& !o s%en" our las! momen!s in a useless a!!em%!

!o esca%e4 T$ese s!ra%s are an inc$ an" a $al !$ick85

;$a!4 +ivian4 7ou can! reac$ aroun"4 ' buckle8 /ee i !$eres a buckle85 le!c$ looke"

above an" won"ere" $ow muc$ $is bo"y coul" $an"le#



I wan!e" !wo c$il"ren- le!c$#5 +ivian looke" over an" wan!e" !o $ave be"room !alk# I wan!e"

!wo- bu! one woul"ve been okay#5

I wan!e" !$ree- +ivian85 le!c$er was rus!ra!e"# ;$ys i! ma!!er45

I can! !ell i !$e ro%es on ire# <an you see i!4 <an !$is be real45 +ivian reuse" !o move# I

wan!e" !o marry- le!c$er### bu! in !$is worl"4 an&er is everyw$ere8 ;$y $ave c$il"ren on a %lane! wi!$

so many %roblems485

I !$ink I can rock !$is co! an" !i% over near you85 le!c$er s$ook back an" or!$# I I can all

near you- I can bi!e !$e s!ra%s loose85

le!c$er4 Ae!s no! i&$! i!# T$is is our a!e85 +ivian looke" rom le!c$er !o !$e ne! above#

T$is is i!!in&- in a lo! o ways# u! !$ere- were crus$e" by !$e wei&$! o !$e worl"# Here4 ;ere

crus$e" by !$e s!ones o a &overnmen! !$a! blew a use# 5nderstatement 85

+ivian4 I never was !ruly ma" a! you### but / don,t like the way you,re handling this85 le!c$

rocke" bu! coul"n! !i%# <an you i&$!4 -lease#5

i&$!4 'n" !$en w$a!4 Run rom &ums$oes !$rou&$ Aa!in 'merica4 I !$eyve "eci"e" were&oners- !$eres no!$in& we can "o !o bea! !$e mac$ine8 Maybe i!s be!!er !o "ie $ere an" now !$an !o live

!$e res! o our "ays like o9es $un!e" by bloo"$oun"s#5 +ivians mou!$ was %arc$e"# I coul" use some

wa!er#5

7ine8 I will !ake i!een secon"s !o !ell you !$a! I believe youre !$e bes! blessin& Ive ever $a"8

I en=oye" every!$in& we "i" !o&e!$er# ;e ell s$or! o con*uerin& our "emons- bu! we ou&$!### an" Im

%rou"8 T$a!s all - +iv8 ?ow Ive &o!!a !ry !o save us85 le!c$ers $an"s were as!ene" !i&$!ly ye! $e use"

$is in&ers !o searc$ or a buckle### or any!$in& !$a! mi&$! $el%#

le!c$er45 T$e rocks above move"# I !$ink I $ear" one o !$e cor"s sna%#5

otherfucker 8 I !$ou&$! some!$in& like !$is coul" $a%%en### bu! w$a! c$ickens$i! me!$o" !o kill

someone8 'mashed # ;$a! !$e###45 T$e rocks move" a&ain# 7ea$# T$e cor"s are sna%%in&# I can! see

!$e ro%e# I $ave no i"ea $ow muc$ !ime###5 'no!$er cor" sna%%e"#

/econ"s85 +ivian smile"- bu! i! wasn! !$e &leeul smile rom le!c$s momen!ous ,olaroi"#

;e $ave seconds85

're you lau&$in&485 le!c$er "eman"e"#

6aughing 4 I eel "elirious8 I! makes so muc$ sense85 +ivians "elirium !urne" in!o mil" an&er#

;$y "i" you no! yell a! your a!$er beore $e le!45

4ell 45 le!c$ers eyes rolle"# T$a!s &onna $el%4 T$eyre all cra.y8 Every ol"er %erson Ive

me! believes !$a! 'merica $as los! a war8 T$ey "rive lu9ury cars- live in rela!ively sae $omes- an" !ravel

anyw$ere- any!ime8 T$e war is in !$eir $ea"s8 They lost a war 8 ?ever ar&ue wi!$ cra.y %eo%le-

remember45

7oure !$e unnes! %erson Ive ever been aroun"- le!c$#5 +ivian looke" over a! $im !$en back

u% !o !$e ne!# I !$is is i!- Im $a%%y !o "ie ne9! !o you85

The rope snapped #



'hiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt 85 le!c$er screame"#

T$ey came "own bu! !$ey weren! boul"ers#

Eac$ secon" el! like an $our#

le!c$er wai!e" !o see an&els# He looke" "own a! $is ee! an" !$ere were clou"s# He looke"

orwar" an" saw a &a!e ma"e o &ol"# ' ray o suns$ine an" a sensa!ion o "isorien!a!ion#

"e smelled oil #

4ou dickhead 85 +ivian looke" over a! le!c$er# 7ou "i"n! even say you love me8 T$ese were

our las! ew momen!s on Earth85

' s!ucco boul"er was on $is c$es! an" many more were aroun" $im#

I! was a vision- +iv85 le!c$er el! like a c$il" submer&e" in colore" s!yrooam balls# I saw

"eaven- +ivian8 I saw a &ol"en &a!e### an" I !$ou&$! I $ear" $ar%s85

7ou "ick$ea"- le!c$er8 I wan!e" you !o !ell me $ow muc$ I mean! !o you8 7ou was!e" our las!

secon"s on %lane! Ear!$ s!ru&&lin&8 In some ways- I know !$a!s w$a! youre always &oin& !o "o8

'truggle8 ;ill you ever acce%! w$a! !$e worl" &ives you45 +ivian el! "elirious bu! i! was %assin&# ickhead 45 le!c$er !$ou&$! $e knew w$a! was &oin& on bu! i! "i"n! make com%le!e sense ye!#

;ere you in on !$is- +ivian45

;e &o! !$e i"ea a! isney ;orl" wi!$ all !$e "ecora!e" roller coas!ers85 +ivian $ear" !$e creak o

a "oor# Here $e comes8 I can $ear $im85

;$a!s really &oin& on- +iv45 le!c$er $ear" oo!s!e%s# 8ivian45

Hello- son85 I! was !$e voice o ;al!er Browne# i" you really believe I woul" be!ray you an"

become a comic villain45

Hello- "u"e85 I! was /%encer#

3ustling # le!c$er $ear" $allow s!ucco boul"ers bein& !osse"# a"4 7ou always wan!e" me !o

learn rom e9%erience### bu! !$is !akes !$e cake85

ore rustling # +ivian coul" see ;al!er Browne# /ir4 i" i! $ave !o be so real4 I ima&ine" !$e

s!ones woul" look like %ain!e" piPata balls# T$is was *ui!e &oo"85

le!c$s $ea" was clear o !$e %$ony s!ones an" /%encer was workin& on releasin& $im rom !$e

s!ra%s# ;ere s!ill con!inuin& wi!$ !$e cruise- ri&$!45 Insi"e- $e knew i! was a =oke# He el! good !$a! $is

lie !ook !$ese s%on!aneous !urns# /ome!$in& was unse!!lin&- !$ou&$# In !$e ac!- i! el! !oo real# le!c$er

$a" ain! ury bu! i! "i"n! s$ow# He !rie" !o un"ers!an" $is eelin&s# Am / mad at the world0 Am / mad at

my dad0 8ivian doesn,t fool around like this. Am / mad that / couldn,t predict her behavior0 le!c$er le! i!

%ass an" s!oo" u% as soon as $e was able !o# /%encer un"i" +ivians s!ra%s# le!c$er $u&&e" $er as soon as

$e coul"#

+ivian "us!e" $ersel o# T$e rocks %robably came rom a s%ecial eec!s movie s!u"io# +ivian

!$ou&$!- / figured only "ollywood would have these things# T$e rocks were ake bu! !$e "ir! was real# /$e

$el" le!c$s $an" as !$e &rou% $ea"e" !o leave# /$e san& ,ink loy" !o $im- amma,s gonna make all of

your nightmares come true... mamma,s gonna put all of her fears into you... mamma,s gonna keep you right



here under her wing... she won,t let you fly but she might let you sing:5

7ea$- yea$#5 /%encer $el" a %$ony boul"er above $is $ea"# I!" mean a lo! i someone coul"

%ull ou! a camera %$one an" !ake a %ic!ure o me wi!$ !$is85 T$e rock was abou! !$ree ee! in "iame!er an"

woul"ve wei&$e" $un"re"s o %oun"s i i! was real# Mamma will kee% you co.y an" warm- le!c$er85

/%encer yelle" an" +ivian sna%%e" a %ic!ure wi!$ $er i,$one# T$e &rou% o !$em lau&$e" !$en ma"e !$eir

way back !o !$e cruise s$i%# T$in&s %icke" u% wi!$ou! muc$ o a $i!c$# T$ey woun" u% in !$e same ball

room w$ere !$ey $a" wa!c$e" !$e =a.. &uys bu! !$is !ime i! was a ma&icians !urn !o %erorm# /%encer $a"

luck a! &e!!in& on s!a&e beore so $e !rie" !o i! $imsel in a&ain# T$is !ime- i! "i"n! !ake# T$e &uy "oesn!

see $ow a =u&&ler coul" make $is s$ow be!!er85 He wore a le%rec$auns ou!i! even !$ou&$ /ain! ,a!ricks

ay was well be$in" !$em#

-ayback,s a bitch# dad:5 le!c$er was on $is !$ir" &lass o wine# 7ou know w$a! $ur! mos!4 I

mean- !$ey weren! real rocks an" I "i"n! $ave bones broken### bu! I saw a vision o mysel in Heaven#

/ome %eo%le say !$eir lives las$ beore !$eir eyes beore "ea!$### bu! I saw clou"s un"er my ee!### an" i!

$ur! more !$a! you betrayed me more !$an &e!!in& crus$e"# I mean- I wasn! really crus$e" bu! in !$a! s%li!ins!an! I "i"n! really- really know85

,aybacks a bi!c$45 ;al!er scra!c$e" $is $ea"# ;$a! is !$is4 -unk,d 4 7ou nee" !o learn

!$rou&$ e9%erience an" all !$ese e9cursions aroun" !$e worl" are so !$a! you can un"ers!an" %eo%le>

suffering %eo%le# I &ave you a c$ance !o be insi"e o !$e skin o someone captured # 7ou wan! !o work or

'mnes!y In!erna!ional4 o you wan! !o know w$a! !$e %eo%le feel like>!$e ones youre !ryin& !o save45

Im messin& aroun"- "a"# Bu! since you brou&$! u% -unk,d - my avori!e s$ow in $i&$ sc$ool-

you know !$a! !$ese !$in&s come aroun" !o $aun! you8 's$!on u!c$er &o! punked once an" lew o !$e

$an"le8 /%encer $ere s%eciali.es in screwin& wi!$ %eo%les $ea"s an" =abbe" a &uy I worke" wi!$ in

In"iana#5 le!c$ aske" /%encer- on! you ever worry abou! i! !urnin& aroun" on you45

Me4 ?o# Im &/A# I "on! worry abou! !$in&s like !$a!# My w$ole lie Im calle" 6s$or!y an"

6%i% s*ueak# I was brou&$! in!o !$e '&ency because !$ey know i! $a%%ens# I "on! $ave !o "o one !$in&

wron&8 I will be calle" 6s$or! s$i! =us! or e9is!in&8 ;e &o a!er !$e wors! o !$e %eo%le# Ma!!4 Hes a

6yes man bu! $e $a!es $imsel in some ways# He wants %eo%le !o "ie in cam%s an" !$a!s w$y $e was

%icke" !o mo"iy !$e Beec$ @rove !rain s!a!ion in!o a %lace o "ea!$# He $as no convic!ion### so we %icke"

$im !o !ear i! a%ar!# o I worry i someones &onna s!ar! $a!in& me4 T$a!s $ow !$in&s be&an#5 /%encer

$a" a caul"ron o w$a! seeme" !o be &ol" coins res!in& a! !$e base o $is c$air# He reac$e" "own an"

%ulle" a ew o !$em ou!# ;an! one45 He unwra%%e" &ol"en oil# &hocolate treat # T$eyre "elicious#5

+ivian $as convince" me !$a! suerin& $as always e9is!e" an" always will be aroun"# ;e $ave

!o %ull ourselves ou! o our missions- some!imes#5 le!c$er &ra%%le" wi!$ !$e mi9e" emo!ion $e $a" ri&$!

a!er !$e %rank wi!$ !$e rocks# 7ou "i" !$is !o !eac$ me a lesson### bu! "on! you worry abou! my !rus!45

1o-5 ;al!er Browne sai" imme"ia!ely# I $ave a ew s!rikes- I i&ure- i !$ese !$in&s &o wron&# I

"on! !$ink !$is wen! wron&### o!$erwise we woul"n! be $ere "iscussin& i!# 7ou $ave !$is burnin& $ouse-

you see4 T$eres a "is!resse" %e! in !$e ki!c$en an" you $ear i! barkin&# :%s!airs- you see a c$il" wavin&



$er arms !$rou&$ an o%en win"ow bu! !$e roos !oo s!ee% !o s!e% ou! on# ire !rucks are comin& bu! !$ey

mi&$! be !oo la!e# o you run in or !$e %e!4 or !$e c$il"45

/ don,t know-5 le!c$er sai"# I mean- $ow close are !$e iremen4 How $o! is !$e ire4 o I

know !$e ki"45

e%en"in& on $ow eec!ive I se! u% !$e boul"er scenario- you now know $ow you eel abou!

+ivian# o you wan! !o marry $er4 7ouve been !alkin& abou! !$a! or years8 In !$ose momen!s beore

you !$ou&$! you were &onna "ie- "i" you wan! $er near you4 i" you wis$ you were ar- ar away4 T$e

memories o !$ose !$ou&$!s will na& a! you or years# ;e "on! $ave !o %lay !$rou&$ $y%o!$e!ical

si!ua!ions i I "i" my =ob ri&$! an" &o! you close !o believing you were &oin& !o "ie### an" s$e woul" "ie

ne9! !o you#5

7oure a sick man85 le!c$er was col" bu! $e &rinne"# 7ou are sick8 Bu! i!s wor!$ i!8 I love

+ivian> / know / do >bu! I woul"n! say i!#5 He !urne" !o $is &irlrien" o many years# I love you-

+ivian#5 He almos! e9%ec!e" $er !o say i! back# I love you-5 $e sai" a&ain# I "on! like !o was!e wor"s

on i!### bu! i you $ave !o $ear i!- I love you very- very muc$#5 He !urne" back !o $is a!$er# /$e was ma"!$a! I "i"n! say i! beore !$e s!ucco rocks came "own#5

7letcher +rowne:5 +ivian blus$e"# I knew !$e rocks were ake8 I was =os$in& you un!il you

reali.e" i! was a %rank85

Okay# Makes sense85 le!c$er !$ou&$! !$a! !$in&s woul" clariy in $is min" bu! $e el! more

an" more conuse"# Aoa"s o *ues!ions s%ran& u% an" no answers se!!le" in# ;$a! i I cra%%e" mysel-

"a"4 ;oul" !$a!ve been wor!$ !$e "ecei!45

;ere back !o $y%o!$e!icals- le!c$#5 T$e li&$!s "imme"# ;al!er sub!ly %oin!e" !owar" !$e

s!a&e# 'how,s beginning #5

le!c$er !urne" aroun"# T$e !ricks were &oo"# le!c$er muse" over !$e swirl o !$ou&$!s in $is

$ea" w$en $e was s!ra%%e" "own# He en=oye" !$e en!er!ainmen! bu! $e won"ere" =us! $ow muc$ $e knew

$imsel- le! alone !$e &irl $e care" abou!# By be"!ime- $e was a! ease an" sle%! well#

T$ey ma"e i! !o !$e ominican Re%ublic an" were me! wi!$ a mili!ary Boein& <HDC <$inook

!rans%or! $elico%!er# <ornelius /!uar! $a" a si!ua!ion w$ic$ re*uire" !$eir imme"ia!e a!!en!ion# 's !$ey

lew !o !$e lori"a eys- <ornelius e9%laine"- 'ha%bot really took atthew 'tubbs. They kidnapped

Thomas c?ay and they have him tied on a fishing boat deck:5

;ow85 le!c$er i&nore" !$e briein&# Ive seen !$ese !$in&s ly in !$e sky w$en I was youn&er

bu! !$eyre really awesome !o be insi"e o85

;$a! "oes i! $ave !o "o wi!$ us45 ;al!er Browne coul"n! i&ure ou! w$a! was &oin& on# Im

le!c$s a!$er- ;al!er85 He e9!en"e" $is $an" or a s$ake# T$e scare !ac!ic in 7uca!On you $el%e" us

arran&e wen! *ui!e well- I mi&$! a""85

;ere en"in& a lo! o !or!ure %ro&rams8 T$e war in '&$anis!an is en"in&- !oo8 I $ave all !$ese

&uys s%eciali.e" in !or!ure an" in!erro&a!ion an" !$eyre like ki"s a! !$ose amusemen! %arks youve been

&oin& !o8 Ri&$! beore closin& !ime- !$eyre .i%%in& !$is way an" !$a! way !ryin& !o &e! every secon"s



wor!$ o !$eir money8 '! bars- &uys break "own an" ask a! la"ies !o "ance8 I!s !$e na!ure o $ow i! &oes

"own85 <ornelius wasn! an&ry bu! $e yelle" in or"er !o com%e!e wi!$ !$e co%!ers noise#

7ou &uys are !urnin& on eac$ o!$er45 ;al!er aske"# Is !$a! w$y you a%%rove" ri&$!enin& my

son4 7ou $a" all !$ese %lans line" u% an" you mi&$! as well use 6em on someone4 ;ow85

In a nu!s$ell- yes8 Bu! we can! con!rol some o !$ese &uys8 I "i"n! or"er or a%%rove Tom

&ivin& Ma!! !$e works# He wan!s an a%olo&y rom /%encer# In !$e mean !ime- /$a.bo! $as Tom !ie" u% an"

%ain!e" clown makeu% on $im# T$eyre &onna "unk $im in !ank o !una#5

Tuna4 ;$a! !e9! book "o you uckers use w$en you "eci"e $ow you work %eo%le over45

le!c$er s$ook $is $ea" in "isbelie# 're you ailia!e" wi!$ wri!ers rom < <omics4 ;$a! $a%%ene" !o

sim%le wa!erboar"in&4 ;$o is in charge o !$is cra%45

I! !ook crea!ivi!y w$en !$e /ena!e lowere" !a9es on weal!$y 'mericans un"er Bus$# T$ey use"

an obscure %arliamen!ary %roce"ure an" i! wasn! a"minis!ere" in !$e ori&inal way i! was in!en"e"# T$e

war in Ira* lew in "eiance o !$e :ni!e" ?a!ions an" !$ere was no ormal "eclara!ion o war# 6aw hardly

matters anymore: ;a!erboar"in& says 6uck you !o !$e @eneva <onven!ion an" !$ere are warran!less wire!a%s an" ille&al searc$es an" sei.ures# I!s all abou! w$o you know85 <ornelius /!uar! looke" "own in!o

!$e sea# le!c$er "are" no! si! near !$e wi"e o%en "oorway# Whims:5 <ornelius !urne" aroun" !owar"

le!c$er# Remember I !ol" you !$a! !$is worl" is abou! winners an" losers4 'n" you &e! !o %ick w$ic$

one you are45 le!c$ no""e" !$a! $e remembere"# att 'tubbs has decided to be a winner:5 He looke"

"own in!o !$e sea a&ain !$en back a! le!c$er# I!s a &amble85

He $as a robo! coac$in& $im85 le!c$ yelle"# He $as never !rus!e" ac!ual %eo%le85

7oure ri&$!85 <ornelius sai"# ;$a! comes aroun" &oes aroun"85 He sa! ne9! !o le!c$# Tom

is &e!!in& a !as!e o $is own me"icine8 He !$ou&$! $e $a" clearance8 He "i"n! $ave clearance85

;$a!s &oin& !o $a%%en !o !$e 3ogues4 ;e s!ar!e" callin& !$e core cons%ira!ors 6 3ogues a!er a

movie &an&8 ;$a!s &oin& !o $a%%en !o !$e Ro&ues45 le!c$er $el" +ivians $an"# /$e sa! !o $is le!# Is

our &overnmen! &oin& !o make i!4 ;e $ave !rillions o "ollars we owe85

7uck if / know# man:5 <ornelius rubbe" $is eyes# Everyones !ryin& !o $ol" on !o scra%s# ;e

$ave &uns# The military has guns# I!s no! ri&$!- bu! !$eyll screw wi!$ us las!85

Is !$a! w$y youre !or!urin& everyone4 /o !$ey know youre serious45 le!c$ %ulle" +ivs $an"

!o $is mou!$ an" kisse" i!#

1o# actually# I &o! %isse"8 T$a!s w$y I &o! in!o i!8 ;e $ave in!elli&ence on all !$ese %eons# +ill

&linton and those kinds# you know4 T$is swin&in& "icks &oin& aroun" &e!!in& lai" $ere an" !$ere8 7ou &e!

!$ese &uys wi!$ a s%lin!er o %ower an" !$ey uck u%8 T$ey "on! care abou! 'merica8 T$ey =us! wan! !o

&e! ban&e" every w$ic$ way85 <ornelius rubbe" $is $an"s !$rou&$ $is &ray $air# I "on! care i i!y

million %eo%le vo!e" or you8 7ou ain! !ellin& me w$a! !o "o85

7ou- my rien"- are !$e "ark secre! !$a! my $is!ory !eac$er use" !o s%ecula!e abou!85 le!c$er

like" !$e can"or an" became numb !o !$e be$avior o <ornelius an" $is cons!i!uen!s# 7ou are !$e reason

we $ea" back in!o war w$en every c$il" cries or worl" %eace85



Thank you85 <ornelius res%on"e"# He was !ire"# I !ake !$a! as a com%limen!85

's !$e "usk broke- !$e &hinook lan"e" an" i! wasn! lon& beore !$e "rama unol"e"# Tom

Mcay- "resse" as a clown- was !ie" !o a c$air on a is$in& boa!# 's <ornelius- ;al!er- le!c$er- +ivian

an" /%encer reac$e" !$em on !$e vessels "eck- Ma!! was !akin& &lo%s o !una an" slin&in& i! a! Toms

wee%in& ace# I nee" you !o say- 6Im sorry85 Ma!! s%oke !o /%encer# I "on! nee" !o s!oo% !o your

level8 :rine- man8 <ome on85

Im sorry-5 /%encer sai"# Be$in" Tom- /$a.bo! combe" Toms $air wi!$ an oversi.e" aro %ick#

'ha%bot 8 ;$a! are you "oin&4 ;e are %ro&ramme" !o res%ec! rank8 4ou can,t do this85 Toms $air was

!ease" an" became ri..y# ye $a" been a""e"# He looke" like a rainbow snow cone#

Tell $im85 /$a.bo! comman"e" Ma!!# Tell $im w$a! you !ol" me85

(eorge W +ush was really a great leader:5 Ma!! almos! smirke"#

Hear !$a!45 /$a. aske" !$e mi"&e!# @eor&e ; Bus$ was a very &oo" lea"er8 I $ave a conver!###

so I $el%e" $im ca%!ure $is !ormen!or85

;$a!s i! &oin& !o !ake !o release $im45 <ornelius was concerne" or Tom# I /$a.bo! wassim%ly a $uman- $e coul" be bullie"> mentally pushed around # /$a.bo! was "esi&ne"- !$ou&$- !o

increasin&ly use $is own in!erac!ive e9%erience# "uman logic did not apply#

/$a.bo! s!o%%e" combin& an" reac$e" in!o !$e !una bowl# He smeare" some on!o !$e ace o

<ornelius# T$is is all your aul!8 6'n eye or an eye leaves !$e worl" blin"8 (andhi# o you wan! !$is

!o con!inue4 're you no! amiliar wi!$ Three +illy (oats (ruff 4 ;$a! is su%%ose" !o $a%%en $ere45

7oure ri&$!- /$a.85 <ornelius wi%e" !una rom $is ace# 7oure !o!ally ri&$!8 ;e wen! !oo

ar85

4es you did 85 /$a. s!oo%e" !o s%eak !o Tom nose!onose# ;$o is more se9y4 /%encer or

<ornelius4 7ou will !on&ue kiss one o !$em85

The midget is hot 85 Tom sai"# He believe" i! was a $ea" &ame as muc$ as any!$in& else# T$ere

woul" be no room or %layin& brava"o#

Ill !on&ue kiss $im85 /%encer looke" "own a! $is clo!$in&# He was s!ill "resse" like a

le%rec$aun# He !urne" !owar" +iv# <oul" you ilm !$is on your i,$one45 +ivian s!ar!in& ilmin& an"

/%encer smacke" a we! one on Toms li%s# / really like this-5 $e sai" in!o Toms ears# He kisse" $im some

more an" ras%ily w$is%ere"- I coul" use some new s$oes85

Enough85 /$a.bo! cla%%e" $is $an"s Enou&$8 Tom $as learne" $is lesson85

le!c$er "i"n! s%eak# He wan!e" !o %inc$ $imsel# Aie was &e!!in& !oo weir"# ' week la!er- $e

was in Hun!in&!on- <aliornia a! Rubys iner a! !$e !i% o !$e %ier# I! was a "ouble "a!e# 'ha%bot starts

going on about Three +illy (oats (ruff# right05 ?ancy Moore an" E""ie <ally%so sa! across !$e way#

/$a. s!ar!s !$ras$in& every!$in& on !$e boa! an" %oun"s $is c$es!# 6 / will find launch codes: /f you know

of a larger billy goat than me# / would love to meet him: He !ells <ornelius an" Tom !$a! !$ey be!!er s!o%

%us$in& %eo%le aroun"85

+ivian rubbe" le!c$s le& un"er !$e !able# T$is is no! lon& a!er !$ey !ie me an" le!c$ u% an"



"um% ake rocks on us85

/o w$ere are !$ey4 T$e robo! an" mi"&e!45 ?ancy $i! i o well wi!$ E""ie an" was $o%in&

!$a! s$e woul" like +iv an" le!c$# i" you $ave enou&$ o !$em45 / hope these guys aren,t pulling my

leg: s$e !$ou&$!# / barely know any of them#

I know i! soun"s nu!s-5 E""ie sai"# T$is is lie now85

I was in Hawaii wi!$ le!c$ no! !oo lon& a&o#5 Rubys was busy as usual# +ivian marvele" a! !$e

c$a!!er everyw$ere# I really !$ou&$! $e was suici"al wi!$ all !$is !$rillseekin&### un!il we were !ra%%e"

un"er !$ose ar!iicial boul"ers8 I reali.e" !$a! $e =us! !$inks $es invincible8 Hes over !$ere knockin&

aroun" !$inkin& $es &onna esca%e like a reallie +atman85 E""ie an" ?ancy lau&$e"# +ivian el! &rea!#

I wan! !$e ri"e !o en"# I wan! !o se!!le "own#5

I s!ill $ave a ew a"ven!ures in my sys!em85 le!c$er %u! $is arm aroun" +iv# ;$os or

climbin& Everest 45 T$e o!$ers lau&$e" an" weren! sure i $e was serious#

;al!er Browne looke" "own rom a i!$ s!ory oice in !$e ,en!a&on# 7ou sei.e" all !$e nine

eleven !a%es or seven!yive miles in all "irec!ions### e9ce%! one#5 He s!are" ou! nearly in a !rance#T$a!s w$a! we $a" !o "o#5 <ornelius /!uar! walke" u% !o ;al!er Browne an" %u! $is $an" on $is

s$oul"er# ?o one really wan!s i! !$is way#5

ne "ay- !$ose !a%es will be release"#5 /$a.bo! sa! in a c$air ne9! !o /%encer# 7reedom of

/nformation Act - sir#5

7es8 7es- o course85 ;al!er looke" a! /$a.bo! an" !$ou&$!- That robot doesn,t understand how

the real world works: /t,s like hearing a child tell his friends that his mother has gone on vacation to a

farm and she,ll be back... not knowing she,s dead and it was a made$up story from the dad.

T$ere was no wrecka&e an" no black bo9# T$e en&ines $a" !i!anium alloys8 I wa!c$e" !$is s$ow

calle" 6 6ost a w$ile back# T$e s$ow be&an on an islan" w$ere a %lane cras$e"# T$e fuselage was ri&$!

!$ere on !$e beac$ ne9! !o %oun"in& waves# I !$ink !$e %ro"ucers were sen"in& a messa&e !$a! you &uys are

wron& in $ow you re%or!e" /e%!ember eleven!$ !o !$e %ublic#5 ;al!er looke" "own an" !rie" !o ima&ine

7light FF $i!!in& !$e wall below $im# In season !wo or !$ree> / can,t remember which one# now >a

*uaran!ine" me!al bunker blows u%# T$ere are no remains w$a!soever o !$e s!eel bu! some$ow- on !$is

ma&ical islan"- !$ere are a cou%le o un$arme" survivors### an" one o !$em is nake"# I !$ink !$eyre

%okin& un a! w$a! you !ell !$e %ublic# 7ou can in" %ass%or!s an" i"en!iiable bo"y %ar!s### bu! you

coul"n! in" !$e black bo9es or en&ines85

;e oun" !$e black bo9es-5 <ornelius sai"# ;a!c$ oo!a&e o !$e news on !$e in!erne!# '

cou%le o irei&$!ers $an"e" over !$e black bo9es a! @roun" ero !o BI a&en!s# bviously- you reali.e

we "enie" receivin& !$ese !$in&s#5

Why45 ;al!er le! !$e win"ow !o =oin /$a.bo! an" /%encer# He sa! !$en aske" a&ain- ;$y45

I! &o! !oo $ar" !o &overn# I can !race my bloo"line !o !$e seven!een!$ cen!ury# My amily !ra"e"

in !$e Bri!is$ Eas! In"ia <om%any# ;e $a" in"en!ure" servan!s an" !$e sys!em evolve" !o ull slavery#

Many o our in!en!ions were $onorable# Ima&ine a $eavywei&$! c$am%ion s%arrin& wi!$ a %ar!ner w$o one



"ay becomes s!ron&er an" as!er# ;$a! "o you "o4 o you !ell !$e worl"- 6I am no lon&er !$e bes!4 ?o#

?o! i you $ave an am%le sense o sel%reserva!ion# 7ou wan! !o believe you mee! all !$ese i"eals bu!

some!imes some!$in& $as &o! !o &ive# 7our ki" s!ar!e" yellin& w$en we were in !$e lori"a eys !$a!

weve %asse" %eak %ro"uc!ion in re&ar"s !o oil# +ivian aske" w$a! were "oin& abou! &lobal warmin&# I!s

!rue !$a! !$eres a resource crisis# ,u! yoursel in my s$oes# ;orl" %o%ula!ion "oubles every &enera!ion or

!wo an" more an" more o our !rees are &one### as an e9am%le# 'm I su%%ose" !o say well all suer4 ?o#

I look a!er mysel an" my rien"s $ere in ;as$in&!on# I!s easy !o be benevolen! an" air w$en &oo"s are

%len!iul# ,ra&ma!ism necessi!a!es !$a! !ou&$ c$oices mus! be ma"e#5 <ornelius /!uar! remove" $is &lasses

an" rubbe" $is eyes# He $a" been "oin& !$is more an" more in !$e recen! weeks# I c$ose my si"e- ;al!er#

'n" i you believe we are evil### you are wron&8 T$eres no! enou&$ !o &o aroun"# ,romises are ma"e !o

be broken# T$e &onstitution is a %romise# 7our son some$ow i&ure" ou! w$a!s really &oin& on be$in"

!$e scenes wi!$ou! bein& $ere### w$ere you an" I s!an"#5

Hes ri&$!- you know45 /%encer was "resse" in or"inary clo!$es>bei&e "ress %an!s an" a

%ow"er blue kni! collare" s$ir!# 7our son is sharp#5He "oesn! es!eem @eor&e ; Bus$ !oo $i&$ly-5 /$a.bo! a""e"# I *ues!ion $is %a!rio!ism a!

!imes#5

<ornelius "isre&ar"e" /$a.bo!# I sen! your ki" on $is way because $e "eserves a break8

/omew$ere !owar" !$e nor!$ern %ole in <ana"a- our &uys are o%era!in& !$e $eavies! o mac$inery !o

scaven&er !$rou&$ s$ale w$ere !$ere are scan!y oil "e%osi!s#5

-eak production45 ;al!er aske"# T$is is i!8 He !alke" abou! i! "urin& our cruise in !$e

<aribbean#5

Ima&ine bein& %re!!y low on &as# 7oure a !eena&er w$o $as !o "eliver %i..a or !$e ni&$! s$i! a!

a -apa =ohn,s# 7ou call an aun! w$o lives i!y miles away on a arm# /$e $as ive &allons o &as in a

canis!er- your car &e!s !wen!y miles %er &allon- an" !$e !ri% is a $un"re" miles !o!al u% an" back# Even i

you coul" make i! u% !$ere- your ne! &ain is .ero#5 <ornelius sa! "own wi!$ !$e o!$ers# T$a!s w$a!s

&oin& on in <ana"a ri&$! now# ;ere e9%en"in& almos! as muc$ ener&y runnin& mac$inery as well be

%ullin& ou! o !$e %ro=ec!# I wan! !o !ell you !$a! were close !o col" usion### bu! were really no! !o !$e bes!

o my knowle"&e# T$eres oil un"er !$e sea an" oil in $i&$ la!i!u"es# T$e cos! is $ar"ly wor!$ i!#5

7ou look worrie"-5 ;al!er observe"# I&norance is bliss- e$45 <ornelius "i" no! res%on"# 7ou

!$ink my son can "o your =ob# 7ou woul" like !o re!ire an" $an" %ick a %erson you value#5

7our son is a &rea! &uy# He !$inks all o us wan!e" !$e !or!urin& &oin& on# He !$inks all o us

wan! !o wa&e war a! !$e "ro% o a $a!# He calls us 3ogues- you know4 He !$inks I can some$ow s!o% !$is

&overnmen! rom s%yin& on i!s own %eo%le#5

Im &la" $es $ere# He convince" me !$a! i!s wor!$ !ryin&# I "on! like !$e suerin& o !$e worl"

bu! i your com%lain!s aren! ollowe" by ac!ions !$en i! "oes no &oo"#5 ;al!er s!o%%e" s%eakin& w$en a

secre!ary walke" in carryin& a c$im%an.ee# That must be 'andy:5 T$e "ia%erwearin& %rima!e skir!e"

alon& !$e loor an" =um%e" on!o ;al!ers la%# Im &onna like you85



;al!er Browne s%en! !$e ni&$! a! !$e Ri!.<arl!on# le!c$ an" +iv "i" no! &o !o !$e Himalayas#

Ra!$er- !$ey were summone" !o re!urn !o <# I! was !$eir irs! !ime insi"e o !$e ,en!a&on# ;al!er s$owe"

u% se%ara!ely an" arrive" aroun" !$e same !ime# <ornelius briee" !$em- 7our ne%$ew is *ui!e a %o%ular

ki" a! !$e :niversi!y o Aa+erne85 He $el" a ew color %$o!os w$ic$ were %ro"uce" rom a laser =e!

%rin!er# He $el" one u% !o !$e &rou%# /$a.bo! walke" in!o !$e room as <ornelius s%oke- T$a""eus /!ree!s-

also known as 6Tad 8 Kui!e a nice smile muc$ like $is aun! w$o &races our %resence# T$is is $im on

cam%us wi!$ an an!iwar &rou%#5 He %asse" !$e %$o!o aroun"# T$is is Ta" mas!urba!in& in $is backyar"#

T$is illus!ra!ion $ere is "ouble# ne- our sa!elli!es !ake incredible %ic!ures rom miles above our surace#

Two- we $ave "ir! on %eo%le# ;e $ave "ir! on a lot o %eo%le#5 He %asse" aroun" !$e %$o!o an" %ulle" ou!

a !$ir" one# T$is is inrare" ima&ery o Ta" =ackin& o on $is be"# Even beore !$e e%ar!men! o

Homelan" /ecuri!y came !o be- we s%ie" on cou%les $avin& se9# Re&ional law enorcemen! $el%s us via

Bell 20G sky c$o%%ers# ;e know w$en Ta" si&ns on !o %orn si!es because we in!erce%! wii si&nals# T$e

&uys in !$e sky s$ine s%o!li&$!s on $omes blocks away rom w$ere Ta"s a!### all !$e w$ile !$eyre ilmin&

$im !$rou&$ $is roo8 He "eci"e" $e woul" =oin an an!inukes &rou%8 Ha8 ?ow $e mi&$! no! &ra"ua!e because $es &oin& bonkers !$inkin& !$a! everyones a!er $im85

+ut you are after him:5 +ivian sai"#

7ea$4 He can! %rove i! w$ic$ makes %eo%le believe $es a %aranoi" loose cannon8 T$is is &oin&

!o &o on# ;eve "one !$is over an" over#5 <ornelius looke" a! le!c$er# 7ou were ri&$!# 3ogues# ;e are

Ro&ues# I believe" we were !$e &rea!es! o patriots w$en we sc$eme" !$e nine eleven !$in&# 3ogues#5

Bu! you "on! care# I sense !$a! you "on! care#5 le!c$er reac$e" or +ivs $an"#

7oure ri&$!# Wham bam# thank you ma,am# I was never like !$a! as a ki"### bu! I $ave a comor!

level !$a! liberals !$rea!en85 <ornelius %ulle" ou! a our!$ %$o!o# T$is is a /!a%les ware$ouse acili!y#

T$is is w$ere %ro"uc!s arrive in mass- &e! s%lin!ere" an" s!ore"- !$en re"is!ribu!e" !o %ublic s!ores# Ta"

$as worke" %ar! !ime a! !$is %lace w$ile &oin& !o colle&e# He !rie" !o s!ar! a uckin union !$ere85

' union4 T$a!s &oo"- ri&$!45 le!c$er s*uee.e" +ivs $an"# He "i"n! like !$e bu!!erlies in $is

s!omac$# He !$ou&$! $e $a" become numb !o !$ese curious mee!in&s# I!s be!!er !$an &oin& %os!al in o!$er

wor"s- correc!45

1o8 Mi!! Romney !ook over /!a%les because !$ere was no union !$ere !o %ro!ec! workers8 Mi!! is

now wor!$ nine i&ures### an" even that wasn! enou&$ !o win back our %resi"ency8 ;i!$ !$ese wankers

like +ivians ne%$ew- !$e <Es o !$e worl" o%! or <ana"a- <$ina an" o!$er %laces aroun" !$e &lobe85

<ornelius looke" a! /$a.bo!# 'm I ri&$!45

4ou are preaching to the converted# sir:5 /$a.bo! salu!e" <ornelius#

/o now we $ave !$is ,R *ua&mire8 T$e Aakers $ave !o win c$am%ions$i%s a! !$e /!a%les <en!er

in A' !o "is!rac! !$e %ublic rom Teams!ers snoo%in& aroun" ware$ouses near n!ario In!erna!ional

'ir%or!85 <ornelius !ook a ew "ee% brea!$s an" !rie" !o calm "own# o you know w$y !$ey !ol" $i%%ies

no! !o !rus! anyone over !$ir!y4 I!s because !$eres !ru!$ !o i!# 7ou aren! &oin& !o $el% Ta" because no one

can $el% $im e9ce%! time# He $an&s ou! a! Re" Robin or c$ea% !acos every Tues"ay# T$is is w$ere ?$



5ltra comes in!o eec!# He $as a ew !i&$! bu""ies an" were &oin& !o sen" wor" !o %olice an" "e%u!ies

!$a! !$ey are "an&erous>!$ey are "e ac!o terrorists# T$ey will &e! :Is over !$e ne9! si9 mon!$s# ;e

will sen" un"ercover a&en!s !o screw wi!$ Ta"# Hell e9%lo"e in %ublic because !$ey always "o# ;ell

ins!i!u!ionali.e $im or $is own &oo"85

What 45 +ivian wasn! scare"# /$e !$ou&$! abou! s!ucco boul"ers above $er $ea"# /$e !urne" !o

;al!er# Is !$is ano!$er %rank45

I wis$ i! was85 <ornelius %asse" aroun" a s%rea"s$ee!# T$ese are raw numbers o w$a! !$e

liberals are !ryin& !o cu! rom "eense# ;eve &o! !o ni% !$ese !$in&s a! !$e bu"# Ta" /!ree!s is no %roblem

!o us ri&$! now bu! Bill <lin!on wasn! a %roblem w$en $e was merely &overnor o a cra%%y s!a!e# ;e can!

le! !$ese !rue liberals &ain %ower8 T$ey will elimina!e w$a! we $ave &oin&85

T$e sc$moo.e worke"#5 le!c$er analy.e" numbers on a s$ee! %asse" !o $im# T$ere was a bar

c$ar! wi!$ a %ara&ra%$ un"ernea!$ an" a cou%le o %ie c$ar!s wi!$ ano!$er %ara&ra%$# I was i"en!ical !o

Ta" w$en I came ou! o $i&$ sc$ool# 's a ma!!er o ac!- i you ma"e !$is same %resen!a!ion !$ree mon!$s

a&o- I mi&$!ve been !em%!e" !o sock you in !$e =aw#5 / would have to put you down-5 /$a.bo! sai"# ne mus! res%ec! au!$ori!y- le!c$#5

<alm "own- Wire "ead 85 le!c$ s$ook $is $ea" in rus!ra!ion# T$ree mon!$s a&o- !$is

woul"ve been !oo muc$ !o s!omac$# 7ouve convince" me o a cou%le o !$in&s# ne- i!s always been

!$is way an" always will be !$is way# Two4 7ou $ave !o %ick your si"e#5

+ivian was a%%alle" an" s$ook $er $ea"# ;e $ave !o i&$!- s!ill85 /$e leane" over an" sucke" a!

le!c$ers neck below $is ear# or me85

I!s alrea"y been "eci"e"85 <ornelius walke" !o !$e same win"ow w$ere ;al!er $a" &a.e" rom#

T$a!s my %oin!8 ;e- as an a&ency- are as robo!ic 'ha% # T$ere are %ro!ocols# T$ere are con!in&encies# I

your ne%$ew was only %ar! o !$e an!inukes movemen!- I coul" %ull s!rin&s# T$e Mi!! Romneys o !$e

worl" s$u""er w$en !$ey believe a workorce is em%owere" by collec!ive bar&ainin&# Ta" is involve" in a

labor %us$### an" $es marc$in& in Aos 'n&eles !o s!o% !$e war in '&$anis!an8 'n" !$eres alrea"y a

%ullou! "a!e8 ;$y can! $e =us! be like every o!$er colle&e ki" an" &o !o bars !ryin& !o &e! lai"45

I $o%e youre ki""in&85 +ivian looke" a! all !$e aces in !$e room or a clue# ;$y woul" you

call me $ere !o !ell me !$is45

I mi&$! be able !o s!o% i!-5 <ornelius sai"# I I can!- you can e9%ec! calls rom your ne%$ew

rom men!al $eal!$ acili!ies or rom =ail# ;e $ave a ew o%era!ives in !$ese %olice "e%ar!men!s w$o will

li!erally break your !ail li&$!s an" !$en ci!e you a!erwar"# 7ouve seen i! on T+ %robably4 Have you seen

w$en !$eyre is! %um%in& eac$ o!$er a!er loorin& liberal re&is!ere" nurses4 ;$a! abou! $i&$ ivin& eac$

o!$er a!er sockin& a sus%ec! in cus4 T$is is cau&$! on ilm an" !$en you $ear !$e e9%lana!ion !$a! !$e

cul%ri! was resis!in& arres!8 'n" no!$in& is "one !o re%riman" !$ese &uys8 ;$y4 Be&innin& in !$e ; Bus$

a"minis!ra!ion- !$e secre! laws s!ar!e" !o a%%ly more !$an !$e %ublic laws85

-raise the 6O3:5 /$a.bo!s eyes looke" u%war" an" $e li!e" $is $an"s in %raise# +ivian was

bale"# He !ol" $er- I believe in $i&$er or"er- maam# I a%olo&i.e or !$is %ublic "is%lay#5



'll o a su""en- some!$in& sna%%e" insi"e o le!c$s min"# To!al "enial kicke" i!# ;e s!ill

$aven! !rie" &ir>ue &uisine on arra&u!# ;an! !o &e! some now45

+ivian !$ou&$! i! was a cue# Aunc$4 7es8 Aunc$ alrea"y8 I love !o $ave lunc$ a! eleven so we

can bea! !$e rus$85 /$e &o! u% an" %ulle" le!c$ rom $is c$air#

I can really use some or&anic c$ow85 /$a.bo! s!oo" u%#

;$y "on! you ski% !$is one- /$a.45 +ivian !rie" $ar" !o !$ink# Are they friggin, joking0 / got

on a three$thousand$mile flight to listen to a fruitcake telling me he,s gonna ruin my nephew0 I nee" !ime

alone wi!$ le!c$er#5

I &e! i!85 /$a. %oin!e" $is in&er a! +ivians ace# 7oure !oo good or me now8 I knew !$is "ay

woul" come85

The penguins eat tofu in 'iberia-5 <ornelius sai"# /$a. became ro.en# He $as an o bu!!on#

That,s it # I you ever nee" !o s$u! $im "own- say !$ose wor"s#5

Wow85 le!c$er !$ou&$! abou! Ta" /!ree!s locke" in a %a""e" room# aybe we,re all going

cra%y. / need a break from this# <ir*ue <uisine- $ere we come85 /f / never come back to the place again#it,ll be too soon: He lim%ly $el" +ivs $an"# Beore !$ey le! !$e room- $e aske" <ornelius- 7ou &uys

aren! a!er me an" +iv4 're you45

7ou an" +iv4 ?o#5 <ornelius !$ou&$! !$ey woul" leave bu! !$ey wan!e" more assurance# I was

!ellin& your a!$er- $ere### !$a! you are won"erul %eo%le8 Ta" $as !o be %ur&e" o $is anarc$is! !en"encies#

I!s a business- you un"ers!an"4 7ou $ear a!$le!es !alk abou! i! in s%or!s an" you $ear ac!ors !alk abou! i! in

!$e movies# /t,s a business# you see0 T$eres no!$in& %ersonal#5

+iv o%ene" !$e "oor wi!$ $er ri&$! $an" an" %ulle" le!c$ alon& wi!$ $er le!# In minu!es- !$ey

were ea!in& le!!uce wra%s in near silence# rom !$ere- !$ey s%li!# le!c$ wen! back !o mee! wi!$ $is a!$er#

+ivian s%e" !o ulles In!erna!ional !o ca!c$ a li&$! !o !$e ;es! <oas!# 'ecuracom. arvin. 1ine eleven.

y head is so jumbled # 'n9ie!y cre%! in!o +ivs arms an" s$e s$ook as s$e boar"e" !$e =umbo =e!# Wirt0

Who was Wirt again0 +i%arre name# /$e sle%! mos! o !$e way !o n!ario In!erna!ional# /$e ren!e" a !iny

car a! Bu"&e! !$en .oome" wes!boun" on !$e Ten !o /an imas w$ere $er ne%$ew live" o cam%us wi!$ a

cou%le o classma!es# /o &oo" !o see you85 s$e sai" w$en $e o%ene" !$e "oor#

'un! +ivian4 ;$a!re you "oin& $ere45 Ta" /!ree!s kisse" $is aun!s c$eek# on! min" !$e

smoke# I!s san"alwoo" incense# Makes !$e %lace smell be!!er#5

7our !ruck is &oin& &e! slamme" a! ei&$! i!een i you leave i! %arke" on !$e s!ree!#5 +ivian

came in an" $an"e" Ta" a lis!# I was in !$e rickin ,en!a&on an" &o! !$is rom a <I' a&en!#5

T$is one alrea"y $a%%ene"#5 Ta" %oin!e" a !$ir" o !$e way "own# Ramon4 Aas! ni&$!4 :I#

;ere kickin& back a! Re" Robin- like we always "o### an" I kin" o knew i! was comin&# ,eo%le were

ac!in& weir" aroun" us#5

kay# Aeave your !ruck ou! !$ere# I will &ive you a !$ousan" "ollars !o %u! "own on some!$in&

new i your !ruck &e!s slamme" in !o# T$a! way- I know i!s real# T$a! way- I know !$ey in!en" !o kee% you

rom &ra"ua!in&### an" !$eyll soon %u! you be$in" bars# Have you been &e!!in& %roblems ou! o now$ere



rom !rus!e" !eac$ers !$is year4 T$eyre on !$e !ake8 'ccor"in& !o !$is "ocumen!- !$eyre in be" wi!$

:ncle /am#5 +ivian wen! !o !$e cur!ain an" looke" ou!# T$a! bea! u% ol" !ruck4 Is !$a! a &ar"eners4 I!

$as !ools all over an" i! looks ou! o %lace#5

Javier4 He "oes our yar" !oo# ;e know $im#5 Ta" scanne" !$e lis!# Ei&$! i!een4 7ou !$ink

$es one o !$em4 'n" yes- my &eolo&y !eac$er los! my mi"!erm %a%er# He sai" $e never &o! i!#5

Ae!s wai!# /ome o !$ese !$in&s are very s%eciic# I your !ruck &e!s $i!- were =e!!in& ou! o

<aliornia# T$eyve &one cra%y ou! !$ere# Inma!es are runnin& !$e asylum#5 +ivian wa!c$e" !elevision

wi!$ $er ne%$ew# Ramon Jo$anson was in =ail- no! =us! or !$e :I# He was accuse" o ba!!ery on a %eace

oicer# Ta" e9%laine" !$a! $e wasn! "oin& any!$in& wron& an" !$en !$e s$i! $i! !$e an# T$ree oicers

were on Ramon yellin& a! $im !o s!o% resis!in& arres!# Ta" "i"n! see Ramon swin& a! anybo"y bu! i! !urne"

u% on !$e re%or!# His o!$er roomma!e- Bren! Hoover- was ou! on a "a!e#

+AAA:

T$ere i! is85 +ivian wen! back !o !$e cur!ain# o no! &o ou!si"e ye!85 +iv %ulle" ou! $er

i,$one# ,recisely ei&$! i!een# T$e %a%er says co%s are &onna come or a re%or!# T$eyre &oin& !o se!you u% like !$ey "i" 3amon# ;eve &o!!a leave !$rou&$ !$e backyar" an" le! i! %ass#5

I woul" say you $ave a screw loose### bu! !$is is a li!!le !oo e9ac!#5 Ta" =oine" $is aun! a! !$e

win"ow# I! was !$e &ar"eners w$i!e $oo%!ie !$a! broa"si"e" Ta"s a*ua <$evy %icku%# T$e &ar"ener was

scra!c$in& $is $ea"# He looke" aroun" bu! $e "i"n! !ry !o $i"e w$a! $e $a" "one# '!er a ew secon"s- $e

walke" !owar" Ta"s ron! "oor# Ae!s &e! ou! o $ere8 T$a! &uy "oesn! $ave insurance8 I know i!s a se!

u%85

My car is %arke" a! a "onu! s!ore u% !$e s!ree!# Jus! in case !$is $a%%ene"- I %re%are"#5 +ivian

walke" !o !$e ki!c$en an" ma"e $er way !$rou&$ !$e sli"in& back "oor# Thump# thump# thump# Ta"

ollowe" $is aun! an" i&nore" !$e knockin&# T$ey =um%e" a backyar" ence an" =o&&e" !$rou&$ an alley#

nce in +ivs car- s$e aske" Ta"- &hristopher orner0 7ou $ave a selma"e %os!er o a rene&a"e co% on

your wall4 T$a!s w$y !$is is $a%%enin&85

' sni%er %lou&$s a $un"re" an" i!y Ira*is an" we $ave a memorial or $im in <owboys

/!a"ium4 'un!ie +iv8 7ou raise" me !o be ree8 'n" !o !$ink or mysel8 <o%s in A' are ba"8 orner

$el%e" ree us o !$eir !yranny85 Ta" /!ree!s %ulle" ou! a ba&&ie rom $is =eans# o you min" i I roll

u%45

7es8 Hi"e !$a!85 Jus! like clockwork- %a!rol cars race" in !$e "irec!ion rom w$ere +iv an" Ta"

were comin&# 1o nukes0 ;$a! was !$a!4 're you !ryin& !o be %o%ular wi!$ $i%%ies45

o you know nothing abou! !$e lan" o !$e '$a Macav4 How lon& are we &oin& !o %us$ ?a!ive

'mericans aroun"4 T$ey wan! !o %u! nuclear was!e on !$eir reserva!ions85 T$a""eus /!ree!s !osse" $is

ba&&ie o mari=uana ou!si"e !$e win"ow# T$is is &ivin& me !$e cree%s# 7oure ri&$!- aun!ie#5

;$y were you !ryin& !o s!ar! a union a! !$e /!a%les ware$ouse45 +ivian !urne" on!o !$e 2

reeway# 're you makin& !rouble or !$e sake o i!45

3amon- aun!ie +iv8 He was &onna &e! ire"# T$e ucker coul"n! make i! !o work an" was &onna



&e! !$e a9e because o !$e a!!en"ance %olicy8 ;e calle" !$e Teams!ers Aocal DFP in <ovina because

%roessor eke owler $a" connec!ions# Hes !$e &uy !$a! los! my !erm %a%er- by !$e way85

He "i"n! lose i!8 I!s on !$a! lis! I &ave you8 Hes one o !$em85 +ivian no!ice" !$a! s$e was a!

nine!y miles %er $our an" slowe" "own !o a comor!able seven!y# The 3ogues# T$a!s w$a! weve been

callin& !$em# T$eres !$is breakaway &rou% !$a! $as !ies !o !$e ?/'- BI- 'T- ?R'- <I' an"

w$a!ever else# They don,t care about democracy. T$ey "on! care abou! re&ular %eo%le# T$ey $a!e liberals#

T$eir !olerance is .ero8 T$ey will !ry !o kill you i you $ave any more success a! convincin& s!u"en!s !o

=oin your movemen!s85

7ea$45 Ta" wis$e" $e $a"n! !$rown away $is %o!# la!!erin&# 3eally flattering #5

le!c$er was =us! like you8 He !$ou&$! $e wasn! makin& a "ierence8 7ou &e! un"er !$eir skin8

I!s like seein& a mouse !o !$em8 T$ey wan! none o w$a! you are85 ,asa"ena was comin& u%# +ivian

won"ere" i s$e" eel calm enou&$ !o s!o% or coee# /$e "oub!e" i!# T$eyre &roomin& le!c$ !o be

w$a! !$ese !$u&s are85

:ncle le!c$4 I can call $im 6:ncle le!c$ even !$ou&$ you never !ie" !$e kno!- can! I45 Hes!ar!e" !o eel $omesick alrea"y# 're we &oin& !o !urn aroun"4 I mean- !$ey can! s!ick aroun" all ni&$!#5

Turn aroun"4 ?o# ;e &o !o <ana"a> maybe Toronto# 7ou break !ies !o !$is %lace an" you &ive

u% on your "i%loma or now8 ;$en you %ull yoursel ou! o <aliornia- youll see w$a! everyone "oes# /t,s

gone# T$e &oo" !imes are &one85

T$ank you- aun!ie# <an I $ave ive $un"re"4 I mean- you oere" a !$ousan"# I we &e!

se%ara!e"- Ill nee" money#5 Ta" /!ree!s ol"e" !$e %a%er +iv $a" &iven $im#

ive4 7es# ;$en we s!o%- you &e! ive Ben=amin ranklins#5 +ivian "i"n! s%eak un!il !$ey

were %as! <olora"o Boulevar"# ;ere "rivin& !o risco# kay4 rom !$ere- we &o !o Toron!o#5

4ou,re the boss-5 Ta" sai"# He "o.e" o an" le! $is aun! navi&a!e# /$e "rove or ei&$! $ours-

s!o%%in& or &as only once- beore Ta" woke# ;$ere are we45

'lmos! in /an rancisco#5 +ivian ma"e &oo" !ime an" !$ey lew !o Toron!o# I &rabbe" a bunc$

o s!u# Maybe i!s !o% secre!> / don,t know#5 +ivian rarely &o! !$e win"ow sea!# T$is !ime s$e "i"# I!

"i"n! ma!!er muc$ !o $er because i! was "ark ou!si"e# I !$e emocra!s win a&ain in 201G- !$e 3ogues

$ave a %lan !o $i! !$e <? Tower# T$a!s w$ere were &oin&# T$ose uckers are cra.y8 T$eyre !ryin& !o

$ol" !$e %ublic $os!a&e#5

;$a!s !$e "ierence be!ween me sayin& !$e A', is corru%! an" you sayin& !$a! ;as$in&!on-

< is45 Ta" was !ire"# I knew some$ow !$a! colle&e wasn! &oin& !o ma!!er# I $ave many rien"s !$a!ve

&ra"ua!e" an" can! in" work#5

7ouve been "ecommissione"# 's a socie!y- youve been "ecommissione"8 T$a!s w$a! I oun"

ou! by $an&in& wi!$ !$ese Ro&ue c$arac!ers# T$ey won! call i! slavery- bu! or all %rac!ical reasons- mos!

%eo%le w$o $ave =obs are in slave si!ua!ions# I you "on! %ar!ici%a!e in !$e slave sys!em- you are

ware$ouse" in a suburban $ome# T$ey make sure !$a! all un"s comin& in %ay or oo" an" s$el!er wi!$ou!

muc$ more#5 I! was "ark bu! +iv s!are" ou! anyway# /$e !rie" !o ima&ine a &remlin on !$e win&#



ecommissione"4 7ou mean like an obsole!e mac$ine45 Ta" s$ook $is $ea"# How "o !$ey &e!

away wi!$ !$is45

+ivian was !ire"# I "on! know# <ornelius /!uar!- our <I' con!ac!- sai" $e !race" $is $eri!a&e !o

!ra"e s$i%s rom !$e si9!een $un"re"s# <olonis!s coul"n! rebel a! James!own an" !$ey woul"n! wan! !o#

Aivin& un"er a monarc$y was ine# ne "ay- !$ey &o! s!ron& enou&$ !o break away# I! was !$e Masons an"

@eor&e ;as$in&!on was a lea"er# T$e Masons in En&lan"4 Have you $ear" o Jack !$e Ri%%er4 He wasn!

alone# <ornelius !ol" us !$a! asons commi!!e" most o !$ese $einous slayin&s a!!ribu!e" now !o one o !$e

worl"s mos! inamous villains o all !ime# T$ese Masons broke rom En&lan" in 'merica# emocracy

was real enou&$ un!il !$eir %us$ in 2000# Jus! as colonis!s ma"e !$eir move rom En&lan"- 3ogues ma"e

!$eir move away rom elec!e" oicials# T$eres overla% $ere an" !$ere bu! !$e ,en!a&on believe" i!

ac$ieve" %rimacy over !$e ;$i!e House#5

Makes sense-5 Ta" sai"# ;$a! are we su%%ose" !o "o4 T$ey $ave billions o "ollars !o work

wi!$ every year8 T$ey $ave every re%or!er an" %olice oicer !oo!in& !$eir $orns85

irs! an" oremos!- we survive#5 +ivian el! cra.y# I a &remlin did a%%ear ou!si"e- s$e was sures$e woul"n! scream# I! woul" sim%ly i! in wi!$ lies ma"ness# /econ"4 ;e block i! ou!# T$ey wan! us

sucke" in!o !$eir "rama# T$ey &e! o w$en !$e see Occupy %ro!es!ers line" u% in ron! o !$eir ci!y $alls

across !$e na!ion# I! airms !$eir e9is!ence8 T$ey %e%%er s%ray !$ese &uys wi!$ !$e same aban"on or"inary

%eo%le !rea! $ouse lies8 I!s gone- T$a""eus8 T$e 'merican "ream is &one8 I!s a %ombie a! bes!8 I! is

"ea"8 I! mi&$! be walkin& in "ecre%i! <I' a&en!s min"s### bu! i! is "ea"85

<ana"a4 7ou !$ink <ana"a is &oin& !o be any be!!er45 Ta" el! weary# He $a" enou&$ slee% bu!

$is min" was la"en wi!$ $eavy issues# I can live o !$e lan" i !$ey cu! o our un"s#5

Aive o !$e lan"45 +ivian lau&$e"# I %lan on winnin&# I no lon&er believe I will save !$e worl"

!o&e!$er wi!$ le!c$er### bu! I won! le! !$ese screwballs ri% !$eir !alons in!o my les$#5

+ivian c$ecke" in!o a !wobe" sui! a! !$e our /easons in Toron!o# /$e sle%! almos! un!il noon as

"i" $er ne%$ew# 's mi""ay rolle" aroun"- le!c$er was in Ric$mon"- +ir&inia wi!$ $is "a"- <ornelius an"

/$a.bo!# T$e men were insi"e a lar&e <I' ware$ouse# T$e roo was almos! i!y ee! $i&$ an" !$ere were

a! leas! a $un"re" aisles o me!al racks wi!$ %alle!s $ousin& various bo9es an" cra!es# T$ere was a sec!ion

or oice s%ace an" ye! ano!$er sec!ion w$ere orkli!s an" o!$er $eavy e*ui%men! were %arke" in be!ween

yellow %ain!e" lines# /omew$ere in !$is acili!y is !$e answer-5 <ornelius sai"#

;$a! answer45 le!c$er aske"#

J blown away4 I $ear" your &irlrien" sin&in& 6;e i"n! /!ar! !$e ire8 on! !$ink Im so

ol" !$a! I "on! know some rock 6n roll# /omew$ere in !$ese racks is !$e real answer8 ,eo%le know w$o

"i" i!8 T$e Russians4 T$e <ubans4 T$e maia45

o you know !$e answer- sir4 <an we in" i!4 I! woul" really %u! my min" !o res!85 le!c$er

be&&e"#

I brou&$! you $ere because i!s an asinine conun"rum### =us! like every!$in& else# T$eres a co"e I

$ave !o !ell securi!y w$en we &e! in!o !$e oice# I !$a! co"e is correc!- I &e! !o !alk !o "is%a!c$ers# T$ey



$ave an inklin& w$ere I might in" !$e answer bu! i!s burie" in cra%# T$ere is too muc$ inorma!ion on !$e

sub=ec!# ;e save" !abloi" s!ories# ;e in!erviewe" "is!an! rela!ives an" !ook !$ousan"s o %a&es o

ai"avi!s# I "on! know w$o !$e $eck blew away J85 <ornelius el! a !iny bi! as$ame" bu! move" on#

In !$e ar corner o !$is %lace- is a labyrin!$ o sor!s# I wan! !o s$ow you !$is85

T$ey walke" alon&# le!c$er ke%! s!ri"e an" sai"- a"8 I $ave some really awesome %ic!ures o

!$e bri"&e comin& "own aroun" /e%ulve"a on !$e D0P "urin& &armageddon85 He %ulle" ou! $is i,$one#

<$eck i! ou!85

7oure &oin& !o $ave !o %u! !$a! away85 <ornelius sai"# T$is is a !o% secre! area#5

;$a!ever85 le!c$er sai"# He %u! $is smar! %$one back in $is %ocke!#

T$ey walke" or ano!$er minu!e# T$ere were yellow bars surroun"in& a s!ran&e se! o "ouble

"oors# Ima&ine you are a irei&$!er in ?ew 7ork <i!y#5 <ornelius cla%%e" $is $an"s !wice# T$e "oors

o%ene"# T$e aca"e was me"ieval# ark bur&un"y %ain! wi!$ "ecora!e" black me!al !rim# Aar&e rin&s

$un& rom ei!$er si"e %resumably or knockin&# ark gray gargoyle faces above the rings# T$e "oors

o%ene"### bu! !$ey "i" no! swing o%en# T$ey sli"e a%ar! !o !$e le! an" ri&$! like Moses comman"in& !$eRe" /ea !o move# T$en !$ere was a c$amber wi!$ no!$in& in i!### e9ce%! more "oors# ;e &o! !$e i"ea rom

Ma9well /mar!85 <ornelius was %rou"# T$is is one o my "esi&ns- ;al!er#5 He s%oke s%eciically !o ;al!

because $e "i"n! believe le!c$er was ol" enou&$ !o remember (et 'mart # He was wron&- !$ou&$# ;al!er

Browne was an incre"ible an o !$a! s%y series# He bou&$! a + collec!ion a! Bes! Buy an" wa!c$e"

!$em wi!$ le!c$er on rainy ni&$!s#

're you insane45 ;al!er aske"# I mean no oense w$a!soever#5

Insane45 <ornelius lau&$e"# ;$en ;al!er !$ou&$! $e was "one lau&$in&- <ornelius lau&$e"

s!ron&er an" lon&er# ;al!er wai!e" a ew secon"s an" i! be&an a&ain# T$is !ime- <ornelius coul"n!

main!ain $is ee!# He colla%se" !o !$e &roun" an" was %oun"in& !$e cemen! !$ey all s!oo" on# Insane45 $e

aske" a&ain# He s!oo" u% an" blus$e"# /nsane45

;al!er el! s!u%i"#

Insane45 <ornelius s$ook $is $ea" in "isa%%oin!men!# Insane45 ;al!er was coun!in&# ive

!imes in a row# <ornelius aske" !$e same r$e!orical *ues!ion ive !imes in a row# T$e :ni!e" /!a!es o

'merica $as s%en! !ens o !$ousan" o "ollars !o buil" a be!!er !oile!8 'olar powered 8 T$ere is a rickin

bri"&e in 'laska !$a! cos! !ens o millions !o buil" an" $as i!y cars run across i! every year8 ;e $ave

kille" more monkeys re"un"an!ly !$an any coun!ry ever will8 'n" we $ave also &one !o !$e Moon8 or

every s!u%i" !$in& like !$is- we are a rac!ion o our way !o brilliance somew$ere else85

I &e! i!85 ;al!er wan!e" !o move alon&#

le!c$er Browne s!are" "irec!ly a$ea"# He knew w$a! $e was seein&# I! was !$e $e9a&on iris

$a!c$ rom 'tar Wars movies# le!c$er even knew w$a! !o "o# He cla%%e" !wice# T$e iris o%ene"# le!c$

san&- &lap on# clap off... the &6A--E3:5 T$e &rou% ma"e !$eir way orwar"# le!c$ el! livi" eelin&s

a&ain# ,lease8 ;$a! !$e 75&? 48 7ou s%en" millions on "is&uisin& !$is acili!y8 7ou s%en" millions on

buil"in& a re%lica o a si9!ies s%y s$ow %ro"uc!ion se!8 'n" you use !$e uckin &6A--E34 Jesus uckin



<$ris!8 Is !$is w$y were !rillions o "ollars in "eb!4 Jesus uckin <$ris!85

<ornelius /!uar! brus$e" i! o# 7ou won! be "isa%%oin!e"#5 T$e ne9! "oor s%li! evenly rom !o%

!o bo!!om# T$ey walke" in!o !$e ne9! sec!ion w$ere our woo"en ver!ical boar"s !wis!e" nine!y "e&rees an"

allowe" or ive slo!s !o walk !$rou&$# '! !$e en" o !$e sc$eme- !$ere was an ol"sc$ool ,aciic Bell

%$one boo!$# ne by one- eac$ &uy en!ere" an" s$o! "own !o a lower level# T$is is !$e ma"ness-5

<ornelius !ol" le!c$er# T$ere was a "ay w$en we coul" in!erro&a!e %risoners# T$ere was a "ay w$en we

coul" *ues!ion mur"er sus%ec!s# T$a! uckin <ons!i!u!ion !$a! brou&$! us our ric$es an" secure" our

soverei&n!y rom Euro%e also !ie" our $an"s# /erial killers $ave !$e ri&$! !o an a!!orney- you know45

/o you buil! !$ese cra.y %laces so !$a! no one woul" s%eak o !$em45 le!c$er aske"# 7ou "i"

!$is !o Ma!! /!ubbs# 7ou bea! $im wi!$ a %ink bunny>a man in a cos!ume# ?o one woul" lis!en !o suc$ a

ar ou! s!ory85

Ae!s walk alon&-5 <ornelius su&&es!e"# o you see !$ose men in !$ose cells45 T$ere were

black s!ereo s%eakers above !$em an" is$wallas <oun!in& Blue <ars5 %laye"# Have you ever seen a

"ru& "ealer "rive a blue or" Tem%o4 I! "oesn! $a%%en8 I youre "rivin& a conserva!ive economy car-you are !ryin& !o i! in8 <$ances areyou are on our si"e8 /ome!imes- uck $ea"s screw wi!$ our boys85

I! mus! $ave been a !woway mirror# le!c$ wa!c$e" !wo cells wi!$ !wo %eo%le# He was lookin&

"irec!ly a! re%licas o s!an"ar" =ail cells# T$ey were ei&$!by!welve ee!# T$ere were me!al sinks- be"s an"

in"us!rials!ren&!$ !oile!s# Eac$ cell $a" a rus!ra!e" man si!!in& on a %a%er!$in !$in ma!# ;$o are !$ese

%eo%le45 le!c$er aske"#

Have you ever wa!c$e" 'i*ty inutes45 <ornelius aske"# He el! %rou"# He $ear" abou! na!ural

$i&$s5 an" !$ou&$! $e was $avin& one# Aaura Ao&an was my "ream# I a"mi! !$a!# I! use" !o be <$ris!iane

'man%our- Ive &o!!a say# T$ere was !$is s!u"y !$ey "i" recen!ly# To""lers were secre!ly observe" in a

room# T$ey were &iven a c$oice# T$ey were !ol" !$a! someone else !$eir a&e woul" be comin& in!o !$e

room# T$ey coul" "eci"e i !$ey woul" receive !wo snacks### an" !$e ne9! c$il" woul" &e! !wo snacks as

well### or !$ey coul" c$oose !o receive only one snack### bu! !$e ne9! %erson woul" $ave no!$in& a! all# o

you know w$a! !$ey c$ose45

One snack # T$is is !oo easy8 Ive been aroun" !oo many youn&s!ers in my lie85 le!c$er

wan!e" !o know w$a! %oin! <ornelius was &e!!in& a!#

;e $ave a circums!ance w$ere local law enorcemen! insis!s on arres!in& %eo%le we "eem !o be

o%era!ive# ;ere !alkin& abou! ar!is!s- %roessors- %ro"ucers### an" !$e like8 T$is is a &ame o 6w$o blinks

irs!# ;e sna!c$ !$em rom !$eir %recinc!s an" brin& !$em $ere# T$ey !$ink i!s a &a& because o !$e

a*well 'mart "oors# T$ey win" u% in a real com%e!i!ion# I you arres! one o our avori!es- you be!!er be

willin& !o %ay !$e %rice85

7ouve &one ma"-5 le!c$er sai"# T$ose &uys are "rones# T$ey are !ryin& !o be air85

/o one o us wins- le!c$er85 <ornelius s!ar!e" !o believe !$a! all !$e ou!o!$eway

cons!ruc!ions were wor!$ i!# 7ou are now w$a! I am85

$4 Because Im s!ickin& u% or law enorcemen!4 'n" I su%%ose w$en Im si9!yive Im



&onna wan! !o %us$ !$e +5TTO1 85 le!c$er Browne was rus!ra!e"### bu! $e was in!ri&ue" an" "i"n! wan!

!o a"mi! i!#

I< '<E85 <ornelius yelle"# T$is is a &ame o 6w$o blinks irs! an" someones u!ure is

abou! !o &e! be!!er### an" ano!$er &uy is &oin& !o be "eeme" as socially uns!able8 T$ey are %u! in cells !$e

same si.e as !$e %lace w$ere %eo%le !$ey arres! win" u%# <an !$ey $an"le i!4 Every !wo an" $al minu!es-

!$ey rin& a bu..er# I !$ey slee%- !oo ba"# T$ey $ave sen! friends of mine !o local =ails w$ere !$ey $ave !o

worry abou! !$eir surroun"in&s### even w$en !$eyre e9%ec!e" !o res!85

'n" w$en !$eyre "one $ere- w$a! $a%%ens !o !$e winner45 le!c$er aske"#

$ boy8 I like you8 7ou know !$a! some!$in& is ne9!85 ' "in&in& soun" in!erru%!e" !$e son&#

/t,s getting cold# picked up the pace# is$walla in !$e back&roun"# 'n occasional "in&# "ow our shoes

make hard noises in this place# e%u!ies in se%ara!e cells rus$e" !o !$eir sinks# T$ere was a silver

aluminum bu!!on or wa!er an" a se%ara!e re" bu!!on !o cease !$e "in&in&# ne o !$e con!es!an!s woul"

all aslee% an" ail !o %ress $is bu!!on wi!$in !$ir!y secon"s# '! !$is %oin!- $e woul" be sen! $ome !arre"

an" ea!$ere"# He woul" be consi"ere" men!ally ill an" collec! rou&$ly one !$ousan" "ollars %er mon!$ or!$e res! o $is lie# T$e o!$er "e%u!y4 He woul" make i! !o !$e ne9! roun" o !$e insane roun" robin# He

mi&$! ba!!le wi!s wi!$ a burn! ou! BI a&en!### or a ci!y %olice oicer w$o s$o! someone in $as!e#

ne "e%u!y colla%se" beore $e coul" reac$ $is bu!!on# His $ea" slum%e" over a me!al !oile! as i

$e e9%ec!e" !o %uke# T$e o!$er "e%u!y raise" $is arms an" s$ou!e" !$a! $e was rea"y or !$e ne9! roun"#

Im no! &e!!in& i!-5 le!c$er !ol" <ornelius# ;e are all vali" %eo%le### an" you !rea! $umans as i

only !$e c$am%ions "eserve any!$in& &oo"#5

o you really wan! !o "ie in !$e suburbs45 <ornelius aske"# Aa.y uck balls %erc$e" on soas

all "ay wa!c$in& reruns o ?ing of Lueens4 7ou are %a!$e!ic i !$a!s !$e case8 'n" Im a $orribly ba"

=u"&e o c$arac!er8 ;e $ave come !oo ar !o acce%! incom%e!ence85

kay# /o one o !$ese "e%u!ies moves on an" wins !$e c$allen&e w$ere $e bounces o !$e lar&e

re" balls in !$e lake4 T$en w$a!4 He "rinks "onkey s%erm as!er !$an some o!$er "ouc$e4 /o $e *ualiies

or !$e %ay%erview i&$! w$en $e $as !o swim in!o !$e ocean in or"er !o re!rieve %u..le %ieces### !$en bi!e

o %ieces o $is o%%onen!s ear4 ;$a!s really &oin& on $ere4 're you fag - <ornelius4 oes !$is &e! you

o45 Men en!ere" one o !$e rooms an" escor!e" !$e slee%in& "e%u!y rom $is *uar!ers# le!c$er s!ill

consi"ere" !$a! $e mi&$! be "reamin&#

T$ese are i"en!ical re%licas o s!an"ar" =ail cells# 7ou an" your a!$er will s!ay $ere or seven!y

!wo $ours# 7ou $ave no i"ea w$a! ac!ual %eo%le &o !$rou&$#5 <ornelius looke" a! le!c$ers ace# T$ere

was no ear#

When you ain,t got nothing# you got nothing to lose85 le!c$er was un"aun!e"# Brin& i! on8

;$en I survive wi!$ou! com%lainin&- I wan! you !o lay o me an" my amily85

<ornelius /!uar! $esi!a!e" bu! carrie" on# 7ou will never know w$a! i!s like !o rule !$e worl"85

He wave" !o one o !$e ceilin& corners# @uar"s came in an" escor!e" le!c$ an" ;al!er !o !$e cells w$ere

!$ey $a" =us! wa!c$e" "e%u!ies s!ru&&le# ;al!er "eci"e" $e woul" no! com%e!e wi!$ $is son# He $ear"



"in&in& in a cou%le o minu!es an" i&nore" !$e re" bu!!on# le!c$er "eci"e" $e wasn! com%e!in& wi!$ $is

a!$er# <ornelius an" $is &an& were &oin& !o "o w$a!ever !$ey wan!e" !o "o# I! "i"n! ma!!er i a bu!!on

was %resse" or no!# le!c$er %resse" $is bu!!on an" wan!e" !o "o be!!er !$an any!$in& <ornelius woul" "o#

<ornelius cu! !$e &ame way s$or!# He or"ere" $is assis!an!s !o !ake le!c$ an" ;al!er !o o!$er

$ol"in& cells# T$ese were sli&$!ly bi&&er> fifteen feet by fifteen feet >an" $a" sin&le be"s wi!$

comor!able ma!!resses an" %illows# Eac$ room $a" a "esk wi!$ a !ra"i!ional !ower com%u!er# Eac$ room

also was connec!e" !o a re&ular res!room wi!$ !oile!s ma"e o %orcelain ins!ea" o me!al# ;$en eac$ &uy

was si!ua!e" in $is res%ec!ive room- <ornelius s%oke !o !$em over a s%eaker# T$e com%u!ers are ou!i!!e"

wi!$ 3osetta 'tone# 7ou will be learnin& Man"arin <$inese# 7ou will learn $ow !o s%eak i!# 7ou will learn

$ow !o wri!e i!# T$ere are !$ir!y lessons# In or"er !o earn your breakas! !omorrow- you mus! %ass !$e irs!

lesson# In or"er !o earn you lunc$ !omorrow- you mus! %ass !$e secon" lesson### an" so on# 7ou can be ou!

o $ere in as li!!le as !en "ays# I you inis$ on !ime- we will com%ensa!e you wi!$ !en !$ousan" "ollars# ;e

will "ro% you o a! -arc isneyland a! !$e same %lace !$a! I &ave /$a.bo! !o le!c$er# I you resis!- you

will no! ea!# I you are s!u%i"### an" unable !o learn### you will no! ea!#5 He wai!e" a ew secon"s# u! o!$e kin"ness o my $ear!- I will ee" you "inner every !$ree "ays i you c$oose !o "o no!$in& a! all#5

le!c$er res!e" on !$e be"# He "eci"e" $e woul" &ive i! a !ry bu! $e woul" wai! a ew $ours#

;al!er abru%!ly c$an&e" $is min" abou! !$e o!$er $ol"in& cells# ;$y &e! in !$e mi""le o learnin& an 'sian

orei&n lan&ua&e !$en &e! sna!c$e" away a&ain4 ;al!er !urne" on $is com%u!er# He "i"n! un"ers!an" w$a!

was &oin& on# He "i"n! $ave muc$ ear o <ornelius an" believe" i! mus!ve been a ruse# <ornelius $a"

%u! ;al!er u% !o scarin& $is son in 7uca!On# T$is $a" !o be ano!$er one o !$ose ins!ances# ;al!er be&an

$is Rose!!a /!one lessons wi!$ou! muc$ care !o i&ure ou! $is circums!ance in !$e bi&&er %ic!ure#

'!er a week- !$ey $a" bo!$ s!u"ie" *ui!e a bi!# le!c$er Browne inis$e" all !$ir!y lessons a$ea"

o sc$e"ule an" woul"ve el! comor!able bein& "ro%%e" in!o Bei=in& wi!$ou! any com%any !o $el%

!ransla!e# le!c$er an" $is a!$er were bo!$ !aken !o&e!$er in!o ye! ano!$er room# T$is one was lar&er !$an

!$e las!>abou! !$ir!y by !$ir!y# T$ere was a s*uare !able in !$e "ea" mi""le# T$ere were c$airs on o%%osi!e

en"s o !$e !able an" !$ere was a %ar!i!ion se%ara!in& !$e !wo si"es# le!c$ was escor!e" !o one c$air an"

;al!er was sea!e" a! !$e o!$er# 'ssis!an!s backe" o an" <ornelius a%%roac$e"# I s!ar!e" !o believe !$a!

you men were rau"s# '!er "ays o observa!ion- I am im%resse"#5 He $el" u% a "eck o car"s# T$ese are

)ener car"s# T$ere are no $ear!s- "iamon"s- clubs or s%a"es#5 He s%laye" !$e car"s !owar" !$e &uys#

ive i&ures# ;avy lines- a cross- a s*uare- a s!ar- an" a circle# 7our &irlrien"- le!c$- com%laine" abou!

a ormer irs! Aa"y s%yin& on $er wi!$ our %syc$ic o%era!ives# / think she referred to them as Jpawns, and

Jcronies,. I s!ar!e" !$inkin& !$a! you =us! wan! a ree ri"e in lie# ;$y no! !ry !$is4 7ou un"ers!an" w$a!

propensity is all abou!# 7ou $ave a !wen!y %ercen! c$ance o &uessin& w$a! your a!$er is lookin& a!-

le!c$er# I will $an" $im !$ese car"s an" my assis!an!s will !ally your accuracy# I you &uess !$ir!y or

!$ir!yive correc!ly ou! o a $un"re"- Ill believe !$eres meri! !o your claims# I you &o as $i&$ as i!y

correc!- you will $ave uncon"i!ional release### an" you will $ave my a%olo&y#5

Ae!s "o !$is85 le!c$er was rea"y# ?o! !o =in9 !$e %rocess### bu! I un"ers!an" !$ese !$in&s are



!ou&$ !o %rove un"er clinical si!ua!ions# i" +ivian !ell you I $ave e9%erience" mil" !elekinesis45

8ivian85 <ornelius &rinne"# +ivian8 7es- +ivian85 He $an"e" ;al!er !$e ener car"s# I &ave

$er a "ocumen! w$en I was %assin& aroun" !$e %$o!os !$e o!$er "ay# I !rie" !o win $er !rus! by !i%%in& $er

o !$a! we were on $er ne%$ews !ail8 7es8 I! wen! *ui!e well8 ur a&en!s cras$e" in!o Ta"s !ruck on cue#

;e $a" a eelin& s$e woul" rus$ !o save $im### an" sure enou&$- s$e "i"# ;e sen! %olice oicers !o

inves!i&a!e !$e wreck so +ivian bi! on !$e ne9! i!em> inside information that another nine eleven was

going to take place in Toronto85 <ornelius c$uckle"# I am sorry- le!c$er8 7ou &uys are *ui!e u%s!an"in&

%eo%le8 I will sen" our &uys !o !ell $er s$es on a wil" &oose c$ase85

4ou stupid fucker 85 le!c$er re&aine" $is com%osure# Ae!s s!ar! !$is imbecilic !es!85

+ery well#5 <ornelius si&nale" !o one o $is ai"s# 's you will#5

le!c$er was correc! wi!$ i!y!$ree ou! o a $un"re"# I! was more !$an $e !$ou&$! $e woul" "o#

He "i"n! bo!$er askin& i !$ey coul" leave because $e coul" see i! on !$e ace o <ornelius !$a! !$ere was

more# <ornelius cla%%e" $is $an"s !wice an" $is ai"s e9i!e" !$e room an" reen!ere" wi!$ i!ems# T$ere

were can"les- incense- win" c$imes- a %o!!e" ern- an" a s%oon# 7our &irlrien" sai" !$a! you $a"!elekine!ic %owers# I $a" !$ese %re%are"# I "i" no! nee" !o $ear i! rom you#5 <ornelius remove" !$e

!ables %ar!i!ion an" se! "own our o !$e ob=ec!s# He $ooke" !$e win" c$imes !o a !$in c$ain sus%en"e"

rom !$e ceilin&# He li! !$e can"les an" incense#

I can ben" !$a! s%oon- "a"85 le!c$er wasn! serious# He was near "elirium#

<ornelius reac$e" in!o $is back %ocke! an" %ulle" ou! a sur&eons mask# 7ou will %u! !$is on#5

He $an"e" !$e mask !o le!c$# I will "irec! you !o make !$e lame o !$e mi""le can"le licker# I will !ell

you w$en !o ben" !$e smoke rom !$e incense# I you %ass !$ese mil" !es!s- I will ask you !o move !$e

c$imes an" !$en !$e ern leaves# I !$a! &oes well- I woul" like you !o ben" !$e s%oon wi!$ your min"#5

I!s ca!c$ !wen!y!wo- man85 le!c$er looke" !o ;al!er or a&reemen!# I I ail- you c$ar&e us as

%$ony !$en "um% us in !$e Jersey river# I I "emons!ra!e %syc$ic %owers- you kee% me8 I wake u% on a

$os%i!al be" in Area Q layin& ne9! !o a s%ace alien85

7ou will $ave your release85 <ornelius insis!e"# 7ou $ave my word #5

Ae!s "o !$is !$in&85 le!c$er %u! !$e mask on#

<ornelius "irec!e" ;al!er !o s!an" u% an" observe rom a ew ee! be$in" !$e !able# ;$en !$e air

was calm in ron! o le!c$- <ornelius comman"e"- Make i! move8 T$e can"le85

le!c$er s!are" or one secon" !$en !wo# He coul" no! eel any "ra! in !$e room# T$e can"les

lame lickere" le! an" ri&$! no!iceably or !$ree secon"s# There:5 le!c$er %ulle" $is mask "own#

,u! your mask back on8 ;ell "o !$is a cou%le o more !imes# ;e nee" !o &o beyon" belief # ;e

nee" !o know#5 <ornelius wai!e" or le!c$s mask !o be %u! on a&ain# 1ow85

le!c$ concen!ra!e"# T$e can"le lickere" an" "ance" or !en secon"s# There:5 T$is !ime- $e "i"

no! remove $is mask# @ive me a ew secon"s !o reocus#5 He swivele" $is neck aroun"# I $e el!

bu!!erlies in $is s!omac$- $e woul"n! $ave been sur%rise"# Ins!ea"- $e became more an" more calm# Im

rea"y85



(o85 <ornelius coul"n! believe $is eyes# le!c$ s!ar!e" !o s!are# ive secon"s in!o !$e &a.e- !$e

lame wen! ou!# ;$a! was !$a!45

7ou $aven! seen shit ye!- s!u%i" boy85 le!c$er s!are" some more# T$e lame came back on#

/!eer !$e incense smoke8 o i! now85 <ornelius was !orn# le!c$er coul" be insul!in&# n one

$an"- <ornelius /!uar! wan!e" !o sla% le!c$ across !$e ace or $is ru"e remark# He also wan!e" !o &ras%

$im in a bear $u&# 'll !$ese years abou! hearing abou! !$ese !$in&s# He $a"n! ever believe" anyone coul"

$ave suc$ comman"# o i!85

'piral 85 le!c$ yelle" rom un"er $is mask# 'piral 85 T$e smoke be&an !o s%iral u%war"s#

onut 85 I! wasn! %erec!- bu! smoke be&an !o orm in rin&s# )ig %ag 85 /moke wen! rom si"e !o si"e#

le!c$s las! comman" wasn! yelle"# In conversa!ional !one- $e sai"- +e yourself# man:5 T$e smoke wen!

abou! ran"om an" s%ora"ic !wis!s an" !urns# He %ulle" "own $is mask an" !urne" !owar" <ornelius- Is

!$a! enou&$4 o you wan! me !o $ave !$e ern run a! you4 '!!ack your scal%45

1o:5 <ornelius /!uar! !urne" $is back !o le!c$er# In !$e name o all !$e $oly cra% I $ave ever

seen85 He looke" a! ai"s s!an"in& near !$e wall# i" you see !$a!45 ;al!er an" le!c$ were allowe" !oleave# T$ey were &iven $us$ money an" <ornelius &rovele" a bi!# /,m sorry:5 He wan!e" !o kee% !$em

an" knew $e" $ave securi!y clearance !o "o so# Im no! a mons!er85 $e !ol" !$em# I! !ruly was a %rank a!

!$e be&innin&# ;al!er4 7ou !es!e" your son an" I wan!e" !o !es! you8 Ill make !$is u% !o you85

T$e a!$er an" son !eam $ea"e" !o Toron!o# T$ey wan!e" !o make sure +ivian was in &oo" $eal!$

an" &oo" s%iri!s# I! wasn! $ar" !o in" $er# le!c$ sen! an email e9%lainin& every!$in& $e $a" &one

!$rou&$ wi!$ $is a!$er# +ivian &ave $im "irec!ions !o a co!!a&e s$e ren!e" in a&mar# I! was *uain! an"

=us! nor!$ o !$e urban area# To !$e wes! was @len Ma=or ores! an" ;alker ;oo"s# +ivian was sur%rise"

!$a! !$ere were many &ol courses in !$e area !o !$e nor!$- ;oo"en /!icks an" akri"&e !o !$e eas!- Royal

's$burn an" !o !$e sou!$- Aakeri"&e Ainks an" ;a!sons @len# /$e arran&e" or $er ne%$ews rien"s !o

ly u% !o <ana"a# T$e &rou% me! a! <$alk Aake wi!$ less !$an an $our o "ayli&$! le!# T$eyre very ol"

sc$ool-5 ;al!er sai"# T$eyre !$e !y%e w$o bea!s !$eir wives an" !$inks i!s okay# 6ove# honor and obey#

;ie is %ro%er!y an" ki"s &e! !$e bel! i !$ey "on! lis!en#5

o you know w$a! !$eyre ri&&in&45 le!c$er $a" a so! s%o! or lakes# He looke" across !$e

wa!er rom !$e %icnic benc$ w$ere !$ey &a!$ere"# "appy birthday: o you know w$a! !$a! is4 Tor!ure8

rom a c$il"rens car!oon8 T$ey $ave !$ese rooms connec!e" !o one ano!$eran" you $ave !o &o !$rou&$

$orse cra% in one area !o make i! !o ca! %iss in ano!$er8 /omew$ere ou! !$ere- someone wa!c$e" !oo muc$

anima!ion8 6 1o# not the happy birthday: Anything but that: 1ot the happy birthday: Remember !$a!4

'n" !$is overly"evelo%e" sc$eme is em%loye" by a "o& !o !eac$ a ca! w$a!ever moral lesson by %u!!in&

$im !$rou&$ con!ra%!ions !$a! bonk !$e sno! ou! o $im# Remin"s me o !$a! reaky boar" &ame- ouse

Trap85

Ta" /!ree!s- Ramon Jo$anson an" Bren! Hoover sa! s$yly# inally- Ramon cleare" $is !$roa! an"

sai"- ;e &o !$rou&$ !$a!# Im sure you "o !oo- bu! we &o !$rou&$ !$a!# ;e worke" a! !$e smelly

ware$ouse or c$icken scra!c$# ;e wen! !o !$a! sc$ool w$ere we slave" over !erm %a%ers### an" or w$a!4



To &e! a "i%loma w$ic$ won! ne! any!$in&4 T$en you !ell me !$ose 3ogues you s%eak o %lanne" !o

sabo!a&e us4 ;ere &oin& !$rou&$ !$a! "o& an" ca! !$in&### bu! i!s a lo! more sub!le#5

;$a! !$e $eck "i" we "o- aun! +iv45 Ta" $el" !$e lis! o ba" !$in&s !$a! were su%%ose" !o

$a%%en# How "i" we &e! on !$eir ra"ar4 T$ey !rea! us like were no!$in& a! work an" sc$ool### !$en

!$eyre &onna s%en" millions o "ollars !o make sure we can! $ave c$ea% !acos a! Re" Robin45

I!s a mys!ery !o me-5 le!c$er sai"# T$eres a s%eciali.e" sub"isci%line in %syc$olo&y calle"

6abnormal %syc$olo&y# These guys aren,t normal: How "i" !$ey &e! !o %laces w$ere !$ey &o!4 I "on!

know#5 He almos! el! "eea!e"# I "on! know w$a! !o "o# Two !$ir"s o 'mericans are livin& !$eir lies#

T$ey are cowar"s- uninorme"- "ie $ar"s- evil- or w$a!ever# T$ey collec! %ayc$ecks an" !$ey %re!en" !$a!

!$e :/' is s!ill a s$inin& beacon#5

+ivian !ook !$e lis! back rom $er ne%$ew# n !$is lis!- i! says !$a! my ne%$ew was &oin& !o &o

!$rou&$ !rials w$ic$ looke" like acci"en!s# 7ou say !$a! <ornelius %u! some "ecoys $ere4 T$e <?

Tower45

7es#5 le!c$er !ook ou! a %a%er rom $is %ocke! an" unol"e" i!# Heres a new lis!#5 He $an"e"i! !o +iv# I we "on! &e! our ac!s s!rai&$!- $es &oin& !o s!ra% us u% ne9! year in <an"les!ick ,ark# T$eyre

&onna "emolis$ !$e %lace# +erbally- $e sai" i!" be some!$in& else because !$is is now evi"ence#5

What the fuck05 +ivian looke" wes!war"# Trees were sil$oue!!e" in ron! o !$e se!!in& /un#

;e ou&$! !o $ea" !o !$e co!!a&e now#5 T$ere were !wo cars aroun" !$em# ne was le!c$ers ren!e"

'ccor"# T$e o!$er was a car !$a! +ivian recen!ly bou&$!# How "o you like my new ri"e45 I! was a &ray

<$evrole! <orvair# &lassic# huh0 T$is is !$e kin" o car Mic$ael ou&las "rove w$en Aaura ;elc$ kille"

$im#5 +ivian like" le!c$s smile o a%%roval# I!s rear$engine# &uys85

I wan! !o "rive !o"ay- $oney85 le!c$ $el" +ivian !i&$!# I never ask !o "rive# 6et me drive85

I &uess Ill !ake !$e boys in !$e ren!al45 ;al!er aske"#

'll we nee" is an ol" <$evy Im%ala8 T$en we can recrea!e !$e ol iasco85 le!c$er !ook keys

rom +iv an" s!ar!e" u% !$e <orvair# +iv =um%e" in!o !$e %assen&ers sea!# This is completely awesome:5

le!c$ revve" !$e en&ine# ?o! !oo muc$ la!er- !$ey were all a! +ivians $umble %lace# arkness $a" se! in#

le!c$ coul" barely make ou! a small lawn wi!$ a s!one wa!er well ea!ure" in !$e mi""le# Toasty85 le!c$

coul" eel !$e warm!$ o !$e ire%lace as soon as $e s!e%%e" in# T$ere was a !iny ki!c$en- a conine"

ba!$room- one be"room- an" !$e livin& room w$ere !$ey all s!oo"# I coul" use a s$o! o w$iskey or

bourbon85

+ivian $a" s%en! !$e %as! week wi!$ $er ne%$ew an" $is !wo bu""ies c$a!!in& an" %layin& boar"

&ames# T$e colle&e ki"s sle%! on !$e loor in ron! o burnin& lo&s# I "on! min" slee%in& on !$e loor-5

;al!er sai"# I were $ere or more !$e a week- Ill &e! a $o!el#5 i!een minu!es la!er- $e was s!ru&&lin&

!o "o.e o in a slee%in& ba& ne9! !o !$ree snorin& youn&s!ers#

In !$e be"room- le!c$er res!e" ne9! !o +iv on a mi"si.e" be"# +ivian rea" The Terror

&onspiracy rom Jim Marrs ne9! !o an an!i*ue kerosene lam%# le!c$ aske"- 'ren! you !ire"4 I mean-

youve been runnin& aroun" like a mother la!ely#5



+ivian se! "own $er book on !$e ni&$!s!an" ne9! !o ,aul ?eills The -rice of 6oyalty- @re&

,alas!s The +est emocracy oney &an +uy an" Mic$ael Moores 'tupid White en# T$ere was also a

!$in bookle! w$ic$ was $el" !o&e!$er by %las!ic rin& bin"in& calle" Rebuil"in& 'mericas eenses5#

+ivian rubbe" $er eyes# ur enemy $as a name85 /$e reac$e" or !$e bookle!# T$omas onnelly- @ary

/c$mi!!- an" onal" a&an#5 +ivian a"=us!e" $er %osi!ion !o $er si"e an" $an"e" !$e li!era!ure !o le!c$#

The 3ogues# T$ese are !$e &uys> at least some of them#5 le!c$er li%%e" !$rou&$ !$e %a&es# +ivian

con!inue"- ;e were ri&$!8 ' lo! o our in!ui!ive belies were on !$e mark8 Ri&$! beore !$e elec!ion in

1FF2- !$is i"ea s!ar!s !o ormula!e !$a! 'mericas some$ow &e!!in& weak8 I! ci!es !$e 6<$eney eense

e%ar!men! an" !alks abou! 6cons!abulary o%era!ions an" cra% like !$a!#5

Is !$is 6 -roject for the 1ew American &entury4 T$e sub!i!le rea"s 6'trategy# 7orces and

3esources for a 1ew &entury bu! I $ear" <$eney $ea"e" some!$in& w$ic$ yearne" or a -earl "arbor

kin" o even!### so !$e mili!ary can run !$in&s everyw$ere### an" so co%s woul" $ave ree rei&n "omes!ically

wi!$ in!erro&a!ions an" !$e sor!#5 le!c$er !$umbe" !$rou&$# I!s in $ere somew$ere# I know i! is#5

7es- !$a!s !$e "ocumen! !$a! %eo%le !alke" abou!#5 +ivian !urne" or one o !$e books# T$is is,aul ?eill allin& ou! o line# He was Treasury /ecre!ary an" wan!e" !o ensure !$a! our mul!i!rillion

"ollar bu"&e! sur%lus remaine"# He" !alke" !o <$eney in !$e $alls o !$e ;$i!e House an" e9%resse" $is

concern or Bus$s ways# <$eney woul" no" bu! ?eill believe" $e was bein& blown o#5

;ow8 I %asse" i!# -roject for the 1ew American &entury on %a&e !wo# Es!ablis$e" in !$e s%rin&

o 1FFC# ;illiam ris!ol- evon @aney <ross- Bruce Jackson# <i!es !$e ,en!a&ons Luadrennial

efense 3eview an" !$e 1ational efense -anel re&ar"in& mili!ary "ownsi.in&#5 le!c$ $an"e" !$e

bookle! !o +ivian# I! was %rin!e" =us! beore !$e elec!ion in 2# ur coun!ry s%en"s more on "eense

!$an !$e ne9! seven!een na!ions combine"8 'n" mos! o !$ose seven!een4 Allies85

Ima&ine !$is make believescenario- okay45 +ivian %u! !$e wri!in& ne9! !o !$e lam%# I!s !$e

l" ;es! in !$e mi""le o now$ere like o"&e# ?ew s$o%s are bein& buil! an" one is rea"y !o become a

!ailor s$o%### or some!$in& else# ' ire burns "own a &un s!ore an" a bakery# ne o !$ese s!ores can move

over !o !$e newlybuil! s%o!# ;$ic$ owner "o you !ell !$a! $e $as !o wai!45 +iv looke" a! le!c$er bu!

!$ere was uncer!ain!y# 7ou $ave !o le! !$e &un s$o% owner $ave !$e new slo! an" !ell !$e baker $e $as !o

wai!#5

I" ar&ue wi!$ you a year a&o# I!s !$ese uckin nu!s- $u$4 T$eyre selec!ive abou! w$a! !$ey

see# ;e s%en" more !$an !$e ne9! seven!een coun!ries combine" an" were balancin& our bu"&e!s### but we

dip below three$point$si* on defense as far as gross domestic product: T$ey $ave a s$i! i!8 7ea$- you &ive

!$e &un s$o% owner !$e new s!ore because $es &onna cause misc$ie w$ereas a baker can only call you

names a! wors!#5 le!c$ rubbe" +ivs belly# 7ou know w$a! I saw in !$ere4 T$ose "imwi!!e" wankers

a"voca!e" a new mili!ary branc$ calle" 6:/ /%ace orces8 3eally45

'n" we were !alkin& abou! !$e %okin& an" %ro""in&# The provoking # The agitation# T$a! was

Rumsel"s brainc$il"8 -2O(# ,roac!ive ,reem%!ive %era!ions @rou%# ' $un"re" 'merican s%ecialis!s

un"e" wi!$ $un"re"s o millions o "ollars !o uck wi!$ 'rabs an" o!$ers in !$e mi"eas!# Taunting #



ee%in& oo" rom c$il"ren# 'ny!$in& so !$a! !$e lea"ers will !urn on !$eir %eo%le# T$en4 ;e can

consi"er 6em !erroris!s an" w$i% 6em- a""in& insul! !o in=ury85

3umsfeld0 "e,s a great patriot:5 le!c$er wa!c$e" +iv smile#

7ou miss 'ha%bot - "on! you485 +ivian kisse" le!c$er# T$ere are loa"s o !$in&s in !$ese

books# <omin& !o <ana"a remin"s me o climbin& a moun!ain# 7ou can look "own an" see w$a! youre in

!$e mi""le o# I coul"n! &e! !$ese books a! a +arnes 1oble in !$e :ni!e" /!a!es# I can eel !$e eyes on

me rom all !$e morons w$o "on! wan! c$an&e#5

on! &e! !oo an&ry# ;ell $ave !o live wi!$ !$em a&ain#5 le!c$er nibble" a! +ivs ear# ;ell

slee% an" !alk some more !omorrow#5 +ivian !urne" o !$e an!i*ue lam%# ;i!$ only scan!y li&$! rom !$e

Moon ou!si"e !$e win"ow- le!c$ aske"- Is !$ere some!$in& in !$ere abou! suckin& everyone in!o !$eir

"rama45

We,ll talk more tomorrow#5 +iv $el" le!c$ an" sle%! wi!$ $er $ea" on $is c$es!# T$e cou%le

woke early an" $ea"e" !o "own!own Toron!o# T$ey s%en! !ime aroun" !$e <? Tower an" !$ey s%oke abou!

all kin"s o issues#;al!er Browne "eci"e" !o !ake c$ar&e once le!c$ an" +iv sli%%e" away# He $ea"e" !o !ake back

!$e ren!al car# n !$e way- $e s%o!!e" a !an B@ &hevy /mpala or sale# He $a" !o $ave i!# Ta" /!ree!s-

Ramon Jo$anson an" Bren! Hoover were wi!$ $im# ;al!ers s%ree "i"n! en" wi!$ !$e car# He "iscovere"

!$a! Bren! was okay a! %layin& %iano# ;al!er oun" an a" or a use" walnu! Micklebur&$ an" i&ure" !$ere

woul" barely be enou&$ room a! !$e co!!a&e# le!c$ an" +iv &o! $ome in !$e a!ernoon an" were as!onis$e"

!o see a movers van in !$e "riveway# T$e %iano was s!ue" in!o a corner an" Bren! was %layin& scales# I!

soun"e" a bi! ou! o !une bu! was o!$erwise soli"#

?o one com%laine" abou! !$e livin& arran&emen!s# le!c$ an" +iv sle%! in !$e sole be"room# T$e

our o!$ers s!aye" in !$e livin& room>!$ree on !$e loor an" Ta" on !$e couc$# le!c$ be&an %layin& &ol

wi!$ $is a!$er# n !$eir i!$ "ay in a&mar- !$ey $ea"e" back rom !$e Bus$woo" @ol <lub# Im on !$e

back nine o life- son#5 ;al!er "rove !$e Im%ala# Im lookin& a! !$is w$ole !$in& way "ieren! !$an you

an" +iv#5 T$ey scoo!e" alon& &oncession 3oad B# :s ol" %eo%le4 I "on! !$ink we care abou! !$e issues

in !$e same way# T$a! %iano or ins!ance4 I wan!e" a guitar w$en I was youn&er# ?ow4 Im more a! ease

!o se!!le in#5

T$ey s!ole our coun!ry rom us# I!s no! really air# I see !$is a lo!# Re%ublicans like !o rise as

in"ivi"uals an" !$ey all in &rou%s# Bus$ is ou! !$ere !alkin& cra% abou! everyone an" i!s !$e same !$in&#

I $e succee"s- i!s or $imsel or or $is %ar!y# I $e "oesn!- $e says !$ey $a!e all 'mericans# I!s no! air#5

le!c$er looke" a! !$e s!ree! si&n or Balsam Roa"# He was eelin& more comor!able wi!$ !$e area# Home

was near#

Rise as in"ivi"uals4 7ea$#5 T$e Im%ala ro"e well# ;al!er was sa!isie" wi!$ $is %urc$ase# T$e

bankers4 T$eyre ou! !$ere on yac$!s w$en !$ey &amble an" win# ;$en !$ey lose4 I!s !$e !a9%ayer w$o

oo!s !$e bill# 7oure ri&$!#5 &oncession 3oad B !urne" in!o yrtle 3oad a!er Aakeri"&e# ;al!er was also

becomin& more rela9e" as $e un"ers!oo" $is surroun"in&s be!!er# ;$en you &e! !o be my a&e- you reali.e



!$eres only a ew years le! an" !oo many %roblems !o solve# I "on! know w$a! you wan! me !o "o or you

an" +ivian# 7our %la!e is ull#5

+ivian $as s!ar!e" a &ar"en# I "i"n! even know you coul" do !$a! u% $ere because o !$e col"#

Broccoli- cabba&e an" !oma!oes# I! kee%s $er busy# I Im $ere ano!$er !$ree mon!$s- I mi&$! =us! or&e!

abou! all we wen! !$rou&$# 'uppression- you know45 le!c$er relec!e" on !$e insane $allway wi!$ !$e

"ieren! !y%es o "oors# I never wan!e" !o &ive u% i&$!in& bu! !$eres so muc$ !o be reme"ie"# I!s a

"rain- bu! !$a!s no! always !$e wors! %ar!# /ome!imes4 I! backires# <ornelius sai" !$ey were screwin&

wi!$ Ta" because o $is social ac!ivi!y# I !$ink !$ey "i" i! !o &e! !o +iv#5

?o one will ever know !$eir !rue mo!ives# They are cra%y#5 ;al!er &ri%%e" !$e rubber %a""in& o

!$e s!eerin& w$eel# "ave / stepped into a time machine0 He looke" a! !$e black wire w$ic$ s%irale"

aroun" !$e w$eel an" as!ene" !$e rubber in %lace# He looke" "own a! !$e "ir!cake" 'M ra"io# ;e $ave

many mon!$s !o i&ure i! ou!#5

;al!er an" le!c$ %arke" be$in" +ivs &orvair. ;al!er $ea"e" insi"e !o res!# le!c$ walke"

aroun" !o !$e backyar" w$ere +iv was %lan!in& carro!s# 's $e be&an !o !alk abou! $is "ay- <ornelius /!uar!was arrivin& a! !$e ?a!ional /ecuri!y '&ency $ea"*uar!ers in or! Mea"e- Marylan"# His bes! rien" !$ere

was Herman Eic$elber&er- a ormer army lieu!enan!# <ornelius &ree!e" Herman- Hows i! &oin&- ol" %al45

I $ave !$e in!erce%!s you wan!e"#5 Herman $an"e" <ornelius !ranscri%!s# 7our bu""ies believe

we $ave !urne" 'merican masses in!o %ombies# +ivian /!ree!s $as been rea"in& a ew Jim Marrs books#

/$e !$inks we wan!e" i! !$is way> a populous going through the motions but not really living #5

7ea$45 <ornelius scanne" !$e inorma!ion# 7ea$4 I! says $ere !$a! !$ey believe were

eaves"ro%%in& on !$eir cell %$one calls8 I!s unny8 I!s ironic8 Because !$is !ranscri%! is rom one o !$eir

calls85

T$ey know abou! our su%ercom%u!er "a!a s!ora&e a! <am% ;illiams in :!a$# Remember w$en

%eo%le use" !o say ?/' s!oo" or 6 1o 'uch Agency4 T$eyve been "oin& !$eir $omework an" !$eyre

be&innin& !o connec! "o!s $ere an" !$ere#5 Herman sa! "own be$in" $is "esk#

6?o /uc$ '&ency4 I remember i! as 6?ever /ay 'ny!$in&85 <ornelius $an"e" back !$e

!ranscri%!s# I came $ere because you sai" !$ey wan! !o make i! permanent # ;ere s!ar!in& !o lose a lo! o

%eo%le> a lot of good people# ?o one ever care" abou! !$e %iss an!s on !$e lower run&s### bu! some o !$ese

&uys are s%ecial# ;e "i"n! nee" !$e !error# ;e "i"n! nee" !$e -atriot Act #5

T$ere $a" !o be a be!!er way# I know#5 Herman wa!c$e" kine!ic balls !$um% eac$ o!$er in ron!

o $im or a ew secon"s# There,s no use crying over spilled milk #5 He reac$e" !o !$e swin&in& balls in

ron! o $im an" s!o%%e" !$em# T$eyre !ryin& !o &e! i! all ou! o !$eir sys!ems# T$ey $ave a &ar"en s$e"

in !$e back o a cabin nor!$ o Toron!o# T$ey kee% !$eir re!or!s !$ere# +ivian ma"e a %os!er o :ncle /am

wi!$ a ca%!ion 6 1o ore +ushes because s$e $ear" were !ryin& !o %u! Jeb in !$e ;$i!e House in 201G#5

That would be good for us:5 <ornelius reac$e" !o !$e kine!ic balls an" res!ar!e" !$eir mo!ion#

T$ese !$in&s are !ruly ascina!in&85 He wa!c$e" silver balls# T$ere were ive o !$em $un& "own in a

%erec! $ori.on!al line# T$e !$ree in !$e mi""le never move"# T$e one on !$e ri&$! swun& u%war" !$en



&ravi!y re!urne" i! "own# I! $i! !$e irs! o !$e !$ree mi""le balls an" i!s ener&y knocke" !$e le! ball

u%war"# Tick tock - <ornelius !$ou&$!# 6ike a clock # He sna%%e" back in!o !$e conversa!ion# T$a! woul"

be &rea! or !$e coun!ry i Jeb Bus$ was %resi"en!8 ;e coul" "o so muc$ more !$an i a emocra! was

elec!e"# Even a Re%ublican like 3and -aul woul" screw us u%8 ' ilibus!er a&ains! our "rones s$oo!in&

'mericans "omes!ically4 <ome on85

4es8 T$e liber!arian win& o !$e (O- woul" ri% un"s rom our %ro&rams#5 Herman

Eic$elber&er reac$e" !o balls in ron! o $im# nce a&ain- $e s!o%%e" !$eir mo!ion# T$eyre !eac$in& !$e

ki"s !$e in!ricacies o our sys!em# T$e Re%ublican ,ar!y is "ivi"e" in!o !$ree cam%s 7ou $ave your

mili!ary nu!s like ick <$eney you $ave your reli&ious .ealo!s like Rick /an!orum an" you $ave your

economic &oos like /!eve orbes#5 Herman %us$e" a s$ee! across $is !able# T$is is a =%e& "ia&ram we

in!erce%!e" rom an email le!c$er Browne sen! !o E""ie <ally%so# T$ere is a lar&er circle ou!si"e o

smaller circle# Insi"e- i! rea"s 6 3ogues# T$ose are !$e Bus$es# He e9%lains !$a! Herber! ;alkers we!

"ream was !$a! $e woul"ve won in BB2 ollowe" by Kuayle un!il 2000# Bu! you know !$a! alrea"y

because youre no""in&# He &oes on s!a!in& !$a! ; was %encile" !o be %resi"en! rom 2000 un!il 200L an"Jeb rom 200L un!il 201G8 T$is le!c$er Browne ki" !$inks !$a! were ri&&in& elec!ions so !$a! 'merica $as

a monarc$y o Bus$es8 I !$ink i!s unny85

u!si"e o !$e mi""le circle###5 <ornelius looke" a! !$e "ia&ram an" rea" !e9!# Makes sense#

?ever really !$ou&$! o i! !$is way# Mili!ary- reli&ious an" economic ac!ions# T$ey buil" our party85

T$ey believe !$a! !$ese $ea"*uar!ers $ere re%resen! only (O- a&en"as# T$ey believe !$e same

abou! !$e ,en!a&on# T$eyre in Toron!o !ryin& !o uniy a $ea"*uar!ers or all !$e "isenranc$ise" %eo%le o

!$e worl"# u!si"e o !$e !wo circles- I e9%ec!e" !o see ano!$er# Ins!ea"- i! sim%le rea"s 6 Abyss. T$ey

believe we "on! care abou! !$em#5

I would care#5 <ornelius %us$e" !$e s$ee! back !o Herman# T$a! le!c$er- or ins!ance8 He

"oesn! s$ave or ive or si9 "ays on en"8 He !$inks $es some kin" o on =ohnson8 He !$inks $es abou!

!o sin& 6&areless Whisper on MT+ or some!$in&8 +elligerent kid 8 I !rie" !o !urn $im on !o w$a! we "o8

T$e &uy can be save"- you know45

'aved 4 T$a!s unny#5 Herman %us$e" ye! ano!$er s$ee! !o <ornelius# T$is email is rom

le!c$er Browne !o Ma!! /!ubbs# He makes un o us> all of us# Hy%ocrisy# He !alks abou! our socalle"

i"ols an" $eroes# =esus &hrist. (eorge Washington. Abraham 6incoln# ?one o !$em were clean s$aven#5

Herman "eci"e" $e misse" !$e !icks o !$e kine!ic balls an" &o! !$em &oin& a&ain# orks with too much

power # T$a!s $ow $e "escribes us85

orks45 <ornelius was s$ocke"# He wro!e !$a!4 7oure no! makin& !$is u%45 <ornelius

eelin& o sur%rise !urne" in!o s$ame# ;e $i! i! o# I was !rainin& $im !o "o w$a! we "o85

7ou scare" $im85 Herman sai"# T$eyre all reake" ou! !$inkin& !$a! were &oin& !o !rail 6em

!$eir w$ole lives85

;$a!s wron& wi!$ !$a!45 <ornelius aske"# 'ren! we like a!$ers4 T$ey are like babes# T$ey

"on! know !$e "an&ers o !$e worl"8 T$ey !$ink !$ey can wal!. in!o '&$anis!an an" !alk !o Taliban



sol"iers### an" !$eyll &ive u% !$eir &uns or flowers#5

o you know w$en !$e las! !ime anyones men!ione" !$e 7ourth Amendment in !$is oice4

T$eyre across !$e nor!$ern bor"er an" i!s le&ally easier !o s%y on !$em abroa"# E&"E6O1 # ://I 1L#

?o one brin&s u% !$e &onstitution anymore8 T$a! bu&s me#5

The &onstitution45 <ornelius scra!c$e" $is $ea"# I !ol" !$em i! was a broken %romise# I!

"oesn! ma!!er anymore#5

oesn! ma!!er45 Herman Eic$elber&er was annoye"# I ou&$! on ba!!leiel"s so i! would

ma!!er#5 He el! "e=ec!e"# /o you wan! some o our &uys !o ab"uc! !$em i !$ey remain in <ana"a lon&er

!$an your emo!ions can $an"le4 T$a!s w$y you calle" or !$is mee!in&45

T$ey were born in 'merica an" !$ey nee" !o be$ave like 'mericans8 I! is our duty !o make sure

our re"- w$i!e an" blue la& is $onore"# T$ey are u% !$ere %layin& &ol- livin& like &y%sies- an" salu!in& a

rickin maple leaf #5 <ornelius el! $y%no!i.e" by !$e knockin& balls#

<ornelius4 7ou are one o my avori!e %eo%le### bu! you nee" !o le! i! &o8 I miss !$e "ays w$en

%eo%le wen! abou! like i"io!s# ,eo%le &o! !$rown rom !$e be"s o %icku% !rucks# i"s ell rom roos an" broke !$eir le&s# <yclis!s $i! %avemen! an" !$eir skulls were s%la!!ere" across !$e roa"# They had the

choice# T$eres some!$in& !o !$e Jim Marrs %os!ula!e# )ombies# I look ou! !$ere- an" !$a!s w$a! weve

ma"e !$em in!o#5

(o fuck yourself -5 <ornelius solemnly res%on"e"# He &o! u% rom !$e c$air across rom Herman

an" s!ar!e" !owar" !$e "oor# He s!o%%e" !$en- wi!$ou! !urnin& back- $e aske"- 're we s!ill on or &ol

la!er45

7ive o, clock tee time#5 Herman was $a%%y# @o uck yoursel- !oo#5

Ill be !$ere a! ive#5 <ornelius le! $imsel ou! !$e "oor#

le!c$ was $el%in& +iv in $er &ar"en w$en <ornelius was "rivin& away rom Hermans oice#

o you en=oy !$is45 $e aske" $er# Is !$is =us! !o %ass !ime45

I! kee%s me busy#5 /$e swea!e" un"er a s!raw $a!# /$e wi%e" $er ore$ea" an" re%lace" bea"s o

swea! wi!$ &rains o "ir!# I! kee%s my min" o all !$e s$i! weve &one !$rou&$# 'peaking of ###4 7our

a!$er !ol" me you %erorme" a really nea! !rick in ron! o <ornelius# A telekinetic performance with

incense smoke#5

My lie was on !$e line# I believe" i! was#5 le!c$er was on $is knees %u!!in& see"s in!o !$e

&roun"# <arro!s were almos! "one# <$ives woul" be ne9!# I !ol" !$e smoke !o move#5 He s!o%%e"

%lan!in& an" looke" a! +iv# I!s like askin& a bu""y or a avor- you know4 I !$ou&$! abou! i! a lo!# I $a"

!$ese %erce%!ions lon& a&o an" !$ere was a la%se# I almos! !$ou&$! i! was my memory %layin& &ames# 7ou

ask a nei&$bor or a avor !oo o!en an" $es boun" !o say 6no# I never sought !o $ave s!rin&s move a! my

comman"# I believe !$erere real sprites in !$e worl"### an" !$ey live near ob=ec!s !$ey can move### like a

s$ir! $an&in& in an o%en close!# I aske" or a avor# T$a!s w$a! I "i" w$en I was !ra%%e" in < wi!$ my

"a"# I! was an im%robable coinci"ence or !$e smoke !o move !$e way i! "i"#5 +ivian $el" a small $an"

s$ovel# le!c$er wan!e" !o !ake a %ic!ure o $er# ir! was no! =us! on $er ore$ea" bu! also on !$e !i% o $er



nose# /$e coul" be a calen"ar &irl# iss =uly- le!c$ !$ou&$!# 'he could be iss =uly# iss August# and

iss 'eptember # aybe October# too#

o you !$ink you coul" "o !$is wi!$ a car45 +ivian el! oolis$# My &orvair 4 <oul" you li! i!

o me i I was in !rouble45

aybe#5 le!c$er wen! back !o "ro%%in& see"s# I "on! !$ink sprites coul" "o i!# T$ere woul"

$ave !o be some!$in& else ou! !$ere#5

'n an&el4 ' wrai!$ or %$an!om45 +iv con!inue" ormin& small "i!c$es#

I coul"n! know unless !$e si!ua!ion %resen!e" i!sel# I "on! !$ink i!s smar! !o screw wi!$ !$ose

%$enomena or en!er!ainmen!s sake#5 le!c$er visuali.e" !$e %lo! $e was on# He coul" see ull&rown

ve&e!ables an" $erbs# He looke" orwar" !o ea!in& some!$in& res$ an" $ome&rown#

ne o !$ese "ays you mi&$! $ave !o move a moun!ain- you know45 +ivian lau&$e" bu! i! was

almos! orce"#

ove mountains0 ;eve been "oin& i! all alon&85 le!c$er !osse" some "ir! a! +ivs s$ir!# /$e

!ackle" $im an" !$ey rolle" aroun" in !$e &ar"en# le!c$er &aine" !$e u%%er a"van!a&e an" %inne" +ivs$an"s !o !$e &roun"# ;eve &o! many more moun!ains !o move85 He kisse" $er# /ome!$in& was missin&

bu! i! was !$e bes! $e knew $ow !o "o# He looke" in!o $er eyes# He looke" a! !$e concern on $er ore$ea"#

/ome!$in&s been bu&&in& me-5 s$e sai"# le!c$ &o! o $er an" s$e sa! u%# 'hafig # Ever since

we s!aye" a! !$e Ri!.<arl!on- I won"ere" w$y more %eo%le "i"n! !alk abou! $im#5

The press45 le!c$er !ook %um%kin see"s rom $is %ocke! an" %o%%e" a ew in!o $is mou!$#

;oul"n! i! make more sense !$a! he was !$e bin Aa"en connec!e" !o cons%ira!ors insi"e o our

&overnmen!4 The 3ogues4 He was in 'merica# sama "enie" any involvemen! on al =a%eera ive "ays

a!er !$e Towers iasco# His bro!$er was wi!$ !$e %resi"en!s dad ### an" !$e bin Aa"ens were !$e only amily

in !$e air a ew "ays la!er### escor!e" by our mili!ary ou! o !$e coun!ry#5

T$eres a lo! !$a! bo!$ers me-5 le!c$ sai"# T$a! makes sense# ;$o "o we !ell4 ;$a! &oo"

"oes i! "o !o know suc$ !$in&4 o we in" 'hafig on camera !$en insis! !o all na!ional T+ ne!works !$a!

!$ey broa"cas! $is conession45

3ight:5 +iv !ook o $er &loves# Ri&$!# My min" is workin& !oo muc$#5 T$ere was one more

!$in& s$e $a" ra!!lin& in $er $ea"# 3emember that picture of 'hafig smooching W on the lips0 ;oul"

anyone believe !$ey kisse" eac$ o!$er4 Is !$a! more !$an cul!ure45 +ivian wan!e" le!c$er !o answer#

Ins!ea"- $is ace became %ale# He s%oke o sprites an" i! looke" now like $e was seein& a &$os!# le!c$er

%oin!e" in!o !$e sky# +ivian !urne" aroun"# y (O'":5

le!c$ers irs! !$ou&$! was !$a! i! was an 1D Tomca! comin& a! !$em rom !$e sou!$# T$e %lane

slowe"# A fuckin, alien ship. /t,s moving like an alien ship: le!c$ers =aw "ro%%e"# T$e %lane $overe" in

one %lace# le!c$ wan!e" !o run bu! reali.e" !$a! i !$e mili!ary was a!er $im- i!" =us! be a ma!!er o !ime#

He !$ou&$! abou! !ryin& !o un"o !$e s!ra%s in 7uca!On# He inally !ol" +iv- I!s like a row"y ki" w$o

en=oys s!om%in& a! an! $oles8 T$e uckin ki" likes !o see 6em scurry# ;$en !$eyre rela9e"- !$e wil" c$il"

s!om%s a&ain8 ;$a! "o !$ey wan! wi!$ us45



T$e air%lane "escen"e" ver!ically# I! was an 3P i&$!er# +iv $el" le!c$s $an"# T$eyll leave

i we wan! !$em !o# 7ou $ave !o !ell !$em we "on! wan! !o be w$a! !$ey are# ;$a! is !$is4 ' 1FG0s

"ra!45 +ivian coul" make ou! !$e %ilo!s ace# or&e! i!- le!c$85

/s that who / think it is05 Ins!ea" o runnin& rom !$e %lane- le!c$ ran !o i!#

le!c$er8 Be careul85 +ivian s!aye" a! $er &ar"en# T$e %lane lan"e" i!y ee! in ron! o $er#

T$e ron! $a!c$ o%ene"# /$a.bo! s!e%%e" ou! in a "ecora!e" 'ir orce uniorm#

/$a.bo!8 ;$a! !$e uck45 le!c$ s$ook /$a.bo!s $an"# ;$ere $ave you been45 Beore

/$a.bo! coul" u!!er any!$in&- le!c$ no!ice" ano!$er aircra!#

I wan! you !o mee! someone85 /$a.bo! %oin!e" !o ano!$er 3P $overin& above !$em# 7oull

like !$isle!c$er85 T$e secon" %lane lowere"#

I! was ano!$er an"roi"# /$a.bo! was "esi&ne" !o a%%ear $uman# T$is o!$er "roi" looke" like a

emale <3,# ;$o is s$e45 le!c$er wave" or +iv !o =oin !$em# T$e %lane lan"e"#

's +ivian reac$e" le!c$er an" /$a.bo!- !$e s$ebo! lowere" $ersel# /$e wore no clo!$in& a! all

an" $er ace resemble" a cras$!es! "ummy more !$an any!$in&# Her skin was &ol"en an" s$e looke" like alar&e "oll wi!$ou! $air# ;$o is s$e45 +iv aske" /$a.#

'he,s my girlfriend #5 /$a. $el" !$e mys!ery robo! w$en s$e was close enou&$# ina$4 I wan!

you !o mee! le!c$er an" +iv#5

)%%sh%%bttt -5 ina$ sai"#

/$a.8 /$e can! s%eak8 ;$a!s &oin& on45 le!c$er e9!en"e" $is $a" !o ina$#

ina$ soun"e" bee%s an" &lee%s similar !o R22# /$e s$ook le!c$s $an"#

Im +ivian85 +iv no!ice" !$a! ina$s eyes weren! "is&uise" like /$a.bo!s# T$ere was no

w$i!e an" no color# +lack dots# ?o nose ei!$er e9ce%! or a cou%le o small %unc!ure marks# <an you

s%eak En&lis$45

Im ki""in&- yall85 ina$s voice ran& wi!$ a /ou!$ern accen!# Im $ere !o party85

le!c$er inally reali.e" w$a! $e was seein& re&ar"in& !$e aircra!s# T$ese $a" !o be %ro!o!y%es o

6ightning // $e saw on cable !elevision# 'l!$ou&$ a"vance"- un"in& was &oin& !o make %ro"uc!ion

"iicul!# How "i" you mana&e !o &e! !$ese45

;ere test %ilo!s8 How lon& "o you !$ink i! !akes !o %ro&ram us4 ?o! lon&85 /$a.bo! $el"

ina$ a! !$e wais!# /$es &or&eous- isn! s$e4 I won! be so lonely now85

Aonely45 +ivian aske"# 7oure a robot 85

I !ol" you no! !o call me !$a!85 /$a.bo! %oin!e" $is in&er a! +ivs nose# He calme" $is !one-

My ar!iicial in!elli&ence is a$ea" o sc$e"ule# My mas!ers believe I am ac$ievin& ac!ual $uman

emo!ions#5

Wow:5 +iv looke" ina$ rom $ea" !o !oe# T$en s$e looke" $er rom !oe !o $ea"# /$e coul"

use some clo!$es# ;$a! si.e is s$e4 'even45

T$a!s w$y Im $ere- &oo" rien"#5 /$a.bo! %u! $is $an" on +ivs c$eek# I !$is $a" been a &uy

in a bar- le!c$er woul"ve become an&ry# I nee" $el% "evelo%in& $er85



"elp45 le!c$er aske"# on! you $ave !$e in!erne! in your $ea"45

I nee" !$e o%inion o friends# <ecily /!ron&- ris!en ;ii& an" Tina ey $ave always "one i! or

me85 /$a.bo! %u! $is in"e9 in&er !o $is c$in as i $e was consi"erin& an im%or!an! "ecision# I like unny

la"ies### bu! !$ey $ave !o look be!!er !$an /an"ra Burn$ar!#5

@o wi!$ Tina ey85 le!c$er %a!!e" /$a.s s$oul"er# /$es a &oo" one85

?a$8 T$is $as !o be my "ecision# I wan!e" you !o $el% elimina!e a c$oice#5 /$a. %ause" !$en

!urne" !o ina$# &ecily 'trong #5

7i%%ie85 ina$ cla%%e" an" bee%e"# 7i%%ie8 I was $o%in& I coul" look like $er85

/o you came $ere !o mold $er45 +ivian wan!e" !o run insi"e an" a! leas! &rab a be" s$ee! so

ina$ woul" wear a !o&a#

7es- +ivian# 7ou "o !$e same !$in&s- you know4 Hal your recor" collec!ion e9is!s base" o

your ac*uain!ances !as!es# I will learn sub!le!y over !ime an" you will like me less w$en I %ick your brain

wi!$ i"io!ic in*uiries85 /$a.bo! looke" a! !$e &ar"en# 7ou are &e!!in& a &reen !$umb85

4es85 le!c$er was $a%%y# ;e coul"n! "o !$is in A'8 T$ey woul" !$ink were reaks8 T$ey"sen" screwballs !o mess wi!$ us85 le!c$ looke" a&ain !o !$e %lanes# ?o! !$a! i! "i"n! $a%%en $ere wi!$

you &uys85 +ivian !ook o in a s%rin! !o !$e $umble co!!a&e# le!c$ calle"- 8ivian05

?o one sai" any!$in& or a ew secon"s# +iv came ou! wi!$ a %ink lowery summer "ress# /$e

$an"e" i! !o ina$# I wan! you !o $ave !$is85

ina$ !ook !$e "ress an" sli%%e" i! on in ron! o everyone# T$ank you- +iv85 /$e !urne" slowly

in a !$reesi9!y# o I look &oo"45

Wow:5 /$a.bo! s$o! smoke rom $is ears# le!c$er never knew $e $a" !$is abili!y#

4ou guys make a wonderful couple:5 le!c$ =o&&e" !o !$e !ool s$e" an" brou&$! ou! $is ?ikon#

I $ave !o !ake a %ic!ure o !$is85 T$e an"roi" cou%le %ose" or a ew %ic!ures#

;e $ave !o &o85 /$a. sai" w$en !$e sna%%in& was "one# o you know $ow many re!ire" 'ir

orce comman"ers work a! !$e ,en!a&on45 /$a.bo! "i"n! wai! or a &uess# A lot 8 Many o 6em "rive

one o !$ese85 He &es!ure" !o !$e !wo 3Ps !$en $e kisse" ina$ on a !$in rec!an&ular sli! w$ere $er

mou!$ was su%%ose" !o be# ;e are &oin& !o $ave suc$ un "ouble "a!in&85

I look orwar" !o i!85 le!c$er salu!e" /$a.# 7ou ki"s &e! runnin&85

I! was a %leasure !o mee! you85 ina$ cur!sie"# I will look "ieren! !$e ne9! !ime you see me85

I you like !$e "ress- I &o! more85 +ivian wave" a! !$e an"roi"s as !$ey boar"e" !$eir res%ec!ive

%lanes an" lew away# I! occurre" !o +iv !$a! no one was in !$e $ouse w$en s$e ran in or !$e "ress# /$e

la!er oun" ou! !$a! ;al!er !ook Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon !o !$e movies in !$e ci!y#

's +ivian roman!ically $el" le!c$ an" "iscusse" w$a! $a" =us! $a%%ene" "urin& !$e visi!- E""ie

<ally%so was $avin& a li&$! a%%e!i.er wi!$ ?ancy Moore a! &hina -anda near !$e n!ario In!erna!ional

'ir%or! in <aliornia# T$ey a!e le!!uce bowls an" "rank Tsin&!ao# le!c$ $as been sen"in& some really

nu!!y emails# I!ll be &oo" !o see $im#5 E""ie was &la" !$a! !$in&s were workin& ou! be!ween $im an"

?ancy# He looke" a! a T+ $ois!e" above !$e bar# ' baseball &ame was on#



ur li&$! leaves in a cou%le o $ours#5 ?ancy wore a s$or! &li!!ery black s$ir! wi!$ a ma!c$in&

!o%# I s!ill &e! willies w$en I &o !$rou&$ c$eck%oin!s#5

He !$inks $e $as nine eleven solve" an" $e s!ar!e" !ryin& !o crack seven seven#5 E""ie wan!e" !o

be in!eres!e" in !$e ball &ame bu! was %reoccu%ie" wi!$ ?ancy an" !ravelin& !o Toron!o# I $a"n! even

thought abou! !$e Bri!is$ bombin&s in### I "on! know# Two or !$ree years45

+ritish bombings5 ?ancy aske"# T$ere is so muc$ violence in !$e worl" !$a! I lose !rack o

w$a!s $a%%ene" $ere an" !$ere#5 ?ancy no!ice" i! was !$e 'n&els# Mike Trou! was ba!!in&# He was on

$er an!asy baseball !eam- +rainOr+raun#

n July C- 200P our e9%losions $a%%ene" a! !$e same !ime in Aon"on# T$ree on rail cars an"

one on a "ouble"ecker bus# @iuliani was convenien!ly in !own### an" near all !$e bombin&s# Aike nine

eleven- terror drills were &oin& on# le!c$ !$inks !$a! !$e socalle" !erroris!s were %a!sies>!$ey !$ou&$!

!$ey were really %ar! o a drill # T$ey $a" bombs in sacks# 'ny "i&niie" real !erroris! woul" $ave 6em

s!ra%%e" !o $is bo"y85

Mike Trou! knocke" a sin&le in!o ri&$! iel"# 4es:5 ?ancy clinc$e" $er is! an" s$ook i! incelebra!ion# ;$a!4 $# 7ea$# Terroris!s#5 ?ancy !urne" $er a!!en!ion back !o E""ie# i" you see !$a!

&ross !$in& ave ?avarro "i"45

Han&in& $imsel wi!$ mea! $ooks45 E""ie looke" a! !$e T+ screen# 'lber! ,u=ols was swin&in&

a ba! wi!$ a rubber "onu! in !$e ba!!ers bo9# 7ea$# T$a!s sickenin&85

I" ra!$er blow mysel u% wi!$ e9%losives in a train !$an "o !$a!85 ?ancy smile"# Jus! ki""in&#

;e s$oul" $ave one more "rink !$en $ea" ou!#5

Im wi!$ you85 T$ey inis$e" !$eir oo" an" wa!c$e" !$e &ame or ano!$er !wen!y minu!es# ?e9!

s!o% woul" be !$e air%or!# nce on boar"- E""ie res!ar!e" !$e conversa!ion on !error# T$e Bri!s were !$e

only ull su%%or!ers o ours a!er nine eleven an" !$e 6War on Terror 5

;$a! abou! Micronesia45 ?ancy el! silly#

Okay# I! was us- !$e Bri!s an" Micronesia#5 E""ie sa! one sea! rom !$e win"ow# To $is ri&$!-

?ancy i"&e!e" ne9! !o !$e isle# To $is le!- an el"erly man s*uirme" ne9! !o !$e win"ow#

T$e el"erly man $oarsely a""e"- T$e u!c$ were on our si"e### I !$ink#5

The utch45 E""ie was s!ar!le" !$a! $e was in!erru%!e"# He !urne" back !o ?ancy# T$e !$eory

&oes !$a! Bri!ain $a" !o bomb i!s own ci!i.ens in or"er !o eel !errori.e" enou&$ !o =us!iy main!ainin& a

%olice s!a!e#5

7ea$#5 ?ancy wasn! !oo in!eres!e" in !$e !o%ic# T$e 'n&els $ave Trou!- ,u=ols an" Hamil!on

!$is year8 How can !$ey lose45

ur !error e9%er! a! !$e !ime in !$e e%ar!men! o Jus!ice- Jo$n Ao!us- claime" !$a! !$e

mastermind be$in" seven seven was workin& or /Q# Haroon Ras$i" 'swar %u! in !ime or Bri!is$

In!elli&ence85 E""ie <ally%so el! !ire" an" believe" $e mi&$! "o.e# He leane" back an" close" $is eyes#

That 'addam "ussein was a really bad guy:5 !$e el"erly %assen&er sai"# T$ey $un& him or a

&oo" reason85



What 45 E""ies eyes o%ene"# /a""am45 E""ie looke" a! !$e el"erly man an" !$ou&$!- 4ou

believe everything &11 has ever reported # ?ancy wasn! muc$ in!o !alkin& abou! any!$in& bu! baseball#

E""ie "eci"e" !o $ave a li!!le un# Mc@yver coul"ve cau&$! /a""am Hussein i !$ey "ro%%e" $im in

beore !$e 'hock and Awe#5

Mc@yver4 I woul"ve use" <a%!ain 'merica85 T$e el"erly man el! %rou"#

&aptain America05 E""ie wasn! sure i $e was $avin& a real conversa!ion# ;$a! abou!

'*uaman4 Ima&ine i###5

A>uaman is no good in the desert:5 T$e el"erly man became lus!ere"# 7ou know !$e %roblem

wi!$ your &enera!ion45

What 45 E""ie was !ruly curious w$a! !$e cri!i*ue woul" be#

7ou $ave no i"ea w$a! reali!y is8 7oull $ave a su%er$ero w$o swims everyw$ere !ake ou! a &uy

livin& in ari" lan"85 T$e el"erly man was ma!!eroac! abou! $is s%eec$# T$a! /a""am Hussein was

&oin& !o "es!roy 'merica85

7es sir85 E""ie "eci"e" on a na%#<ornelius /!uar! %laye" nine roun"s o &ol a! Timbers at Troy wi!$ Herman Eic$elber&er# E""ie

<ally%so se!!le" in wi!$ ?ancy Moore in Toron!o# /ome!$in& bu..e" in !$e belly o <ornelius# He el!

"eea!e"# 'merica was "oin& &rea! in many re&ar"s# T$e inras!ruc!ure was s%ec!acular# T$e only %eo%le

w$om mana&e" !o screw wi!$ 'merica was o!$er 'mericans# T$is wen! or nine eleven an" <ornelius

knew i!# ;$en 'merica &o! &ree"y- i! ell s$or! some!imes# allin& s$or! le! a sour !as!e in %eo%les

mou!$s# 's E""ie an" ?ancy cau&$! u% on !$eir lives wi!$ le!c$ an" +iv in a&mar- <ornelius arran&e" a

mee!in& wi!$ Ma!$ew /!ubbs# +ear hunting # He knew Ma!! woul" be u% or i!# ;$enever calle"- Ma!!

seeme" !o be u% or any!$in&#

<ornelius walke" alon& !$e ri"&e o ;ills Moun!ain /!a!e ,ark near <umberlan"- Marylan"

$ol"in& a Marlin M1LFP rile# T$ree "ays %rior- $e $el" a !$ree iron an" a %i!c$in& we"&e# He now

looke" a! !all !rees an" el! like a !eena&er a! %rom# Ma!$ew /!ubbs walke" ne9! !o $im# Ma!! wore brown

an" !an colors wi!$ a luorescen! oran&e ves!# He wore a ca% wi!$ bills on !$e ron! an" back similar !o

some!$in& /$erlock Holmes woul" wear i $e was alon& or !$e !ri%# <ornelius aske" Ma!!- o you know

$ow many %ermi!s are allowe" every year in Marylan" !o $un! bear45

1o clue#5 Ma!! o%ene" a %acka&e o !rail mi9# He %o%%e" raisins an" nu!s in!o $im mou!$# Ten

!$ousan"45 Ma!! &uesse" ou! o cour!esy more !$an any!$in& else#

T$ree $un"re" an" or!y#5 <ornelius &rabbe" Ma!!s mi9 wi!$ou! askin& or %ermission# He

%oure" a !$ir" o !$e ba& in!o $is mou!$# /omew$ere aroun" a $un"re" black bears are le&ally kille"

every year in !$is s!a!e#5

7ea$45 Ma!! never knew i $e was &oin& !o be commen"e" or re%riman"e"# He !$ou&$!- aybe

/,m out here because you,re going to shoot me. /t,d make sense after that giant bunny assaulted me#

o you know w$y we kill bears- Ma!!45 <ornelius &obble" some more o !$e !rail mi9 !$en

s!ue" !$e ba& insi"e $is %ocke!# He "i"n! wear an oran&e ves!# He !$ou&$! Ma!! woul" ask abou! i! bu!



no!$in& &ave# ;e kill bears because !$ey woul" run !$is %lace i we le! !$em85 <ornelius walke" alon&

an" el! %rou"# He el! intelligent # He believe" $e was makin& a %oin!# T$eyre like In"ians- you know4

I!s !$em or i!s us8 Bears woul" be ea!in& babies i we "i"n! s$oo! 6em8 7ou know !$a!8 T$e In"ians4

T$ere woul" be no 'merican ci!ies8 7ou can! cu! a rickin !ree "own because !$ey woul" be s$oo!in&

!$eir bows an" arrows a! us85

7ea$# I know !$a!#5 Ma!! wan!e" !o ask or $is !rail mi9# He was scare" !$a! <ornelius woul"

reac! violen!ly#

emocra!s are like !$ose bears an" In"ians8 7ou le! !$em !$rive4 T$eyre &oin& !o wan! money

or every!$in&85 T$e woo"s !$ickene"# I remember BC! like i! was yes!er"ay8 ;al!er Mon"ale s$owe"

u% !o !$e "ance bu! $e knew !$e s$ow was mean! or Ronal" Rea&an8 ondale won one state that year:

His $ome s!a!e o Minneso!a### an" $e won < because all !$e colore"s# They don,t like 3epublicans too

much and maybe they never will # My %oin! is !$a!- even!ually- !$ere were !oo many o !$em8 7ou buil! !$a!

"ea!$ cam% in Beec$ @rove because o w$ere !$in&s were $ea"in&#5

;e s$oul" s$oo! 6em like bears45 Ma!! walke" wi!$ <ornelius an" el! a! ease# or some reasonor ano!$er- wackiness ma"e $im eel !$a! $e was sae# I all !$e "ucks were in a row- $e !$ou&$! someone

was %lo!!in& some!$in&# Bears are "an&erous# I know %eo%le can be "an&erous- !oo#5

I nee" you !o kill le!c$er Browne-5 <ornelius /!uar! sai"# He looke" a! Ma!!s &un# I! wasn! a

rile# I! was a $an" &un>a nine millime!er enhanced micro pistol # T$is isn! a "one "eal# Early ne9!

year- <an"les!ick ,ark will be im%lo"e" in /an rancisco# I nee" you !o main!ain $is !rus!#5 <ornelius

walke" or a $al minu!e wi!$ou! &ivin& more inorma!ion beore sayin&- He mocks me# I !rie" !o &ive $im

!$is lo!y %osi!ion in !$e &overnmen!### an" I can eel $im hating me# 7ou un"ers!an" me- !$ou&$# 7ou

know !$a! bears $ave !o be kille" or !$eyll be runnin& in our s!ree!s8 le!c$er4 He woul" call every

animal ri&$!s or&ani.a!ion !$ere is85 <ornelius "iscovere" !$a! $e was near !ears# I ou&$! so $ar" or !$is

coun!ry85

Thermite45 Ma!! aske"# Is !$a! w$a! !$is is abou!4 ?ine eleven is muc$ a"o abou! 6$e sai"- s$e

sai" bu! !$e smokin& &un is in !$e %ar!icles oun" in !$e "us! blown in!o a%ar!men!s surroun"in& !$e ;orl"

Tra"e <en!er# The thermite# ;i!$ou! !$is e9%losive subs!ance- le!c$er Browne an" +ivian /!ree!s &o in!o

"enial# T$ey acce%! your &i!s# 'ha%bot and everything else#5

He knows Im wron&#5 <ornelius /!uar! !$ou&$! $e $ear" cracklin& in beyon" some bus$es# He

"rew $is rile an" wai!e" a ew secon"s# He le! i! "own a!er silence# He knows !$e &overnmen! lie"# I

can "eal wi!$ !$a!# ;$a! I can! "eal wi!$ is $is selri&$!eous be$avior# 6ike he wouldn,t do what / did if

he was in my shoes#5

Hey- man8 Im wi!$ you#5 Ma!! carrie" a back%ack an" slun& i! aroun" in ron! o $im# He %u!

$is &un insi"e# 7ou can $an"le a bear i were a!!acke"- ri&$!45

Re&ular $un!in& season is in la!e c!ober# I %ulle" s!rin&s# Im no! sure w$a! !o e9%ec! !$is !ime

o year#5 <ornelius a"mire" le!c$er because o $is in"e%en"en! !$inkin&# He also hated $im because o

i!# Ma!!- on !$e o!$er $an"- was willin& !o a&ree wi!$ almos! any!$in&# '!er Herman Eic$elber&er



c$allen&e" $is mo!ives- $e was %lease" !o be aroun" suc$ a com%lian! %erson# Ill $ave you know !$a! Im

&ivin& i! !ime# 7letcher needs to change this summer # Hes ou! !$ere !$inkin& $es some rock s!ar

%$o!o&ra%$er8 Hes =us! a &uy like you an" me# He nee"s !o cu! $is $air# He nee"s !o s!o% !alkin& !ras$

abou! !$e &uys !$a! cu! our !a9es85

7es85 Ma!! walke" alon&# He s$oul" know !$a! :ncle /am nee"s every io!a o ener&y $e $as#

Maybe I can !alk !o $im an" we can avoi" !$e ca!as!ro%$ic "emoli!ion "eal#5

1o: He $as !o "o i! on $is own85 <ornelius reac$e" in!o a man%urse a! $is wais!# He

unwra%%e" a cinnamon roll rom a wra%%er# Bears like !$ese8 T$eyll come an" !ry !o &e! i!85

;$a! are we &onna "o i we blas! one o !$ese !$in&s4 Ru&4 o we ea! i!45 Ma!! mean"ere"

!$rou&$ !rees an" brus$# <ornelius s%oke abou! one %lan a!er !$e o!$er# Ma!! became more an" more

relieve" as $e believe" $e wasn! bein& sabo!a&e"# ?i&$! ell an" no black bears were s%o!!e"# T$ey

re!ire" or !$e !ime bein& an" &o! !$eir kill !$e ne9! "ay#

E""ie <ally%so an" ?ancy Moore c$ecke" in!o !$e same our /easons in Toron!o as +ivian $a"

s!aye" ini!ially wi!$ $er ne%$ew# Mos! o !$e "ay- E""ie an" ?ancy woul" be a! +ivs %lace in a&mar#Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon !ook an in!eres! in $ikin&# T$ou&$ !$ey were youn& a"ul!s- le!c$ an" +iv

con!inually reerre" !o !$em as !$e ki"s5# T$e %iano in !$e co!!a&e was a main ocus o en!er!ainmen!#

E""ie ke%! u% $is 7ouTube c$annel an" !$e &rou% recor"e" a music vi"eo calle" 'i%%ling 5 w$ic$ accrue"

more !$an our !$ousan" views in i!s irs! week#

'ome say life has a master designer

Our love si%%les like a +eech (rove pyre

Where thereRs smoke# there is fire

Our passion soars like a gargoyle flyer

/f they are vultures# weRre doves on the wire

TheyRre the %ombies# weRre the survivors

We escape to our pleasant place# nothing could be finer

6ight at the end of the tunnel becomes brighter and brighter

We rub each other

/t causes a spark

Our love is combustive like thermite

/t lights up the dark

/tRs a devotion

An emotion

An e*plosion



And it tears down their wicked lair

'i%%ling... smoking and si%%ling... smoking and si%%ling

/f life is cereal# you are the fibre

4ou are the flower child# / am your fighter

We can pull a freaky all$nighter

When youRre gone# life grips so much tighter

/f your heart is solid gold# / am the miner

4our desire is a rocky mountain# / am the climber

4ou are the newspaper# /Rm your ardent subscriber

/ chill and think of you all day on my very soft recliner

/tRs an emotion A commotion

An e*plosion

/t,s the reason to breathe

'i%%ling... smoking and si%%ling... smoking and si%%ling

Bren! Hoover %laye" %iano or !$e %iece# +iv an" le!c$ san& a "ue! an" !$e o!$er ki"s5

$armoni.e" backu% "urin& !$e c$orus# I! was arran&e" so !$a! +iv san& in unison wi!$ le!c$ or !$e irs!

cou%le o verses an" woun" u% al!erna!in& lines wi!$ $im# E""ie <ally%sos 7ouTube c$annel was ille"

mos!ly wi!$ cons%iracy ran!s an" %ro%osals or al!erna!e social u!ures# 'i%%ling 5 was !$e irs! music vi"eo

!$a! $e %os!e"# He was $a%%y wi!$ !$e a!!en!ion i! &o! an" $e was &la" !$a! mos! o !$e commen!s were

%osi!ive# He lau&$e" o%enly a! one o !$em This rocks like your mother:5 ' week a!er Ma!!$ew /!ubbs

s$o! a black bear !$rou&$ $is ear $ole- E""ie was "iscussin& $is in!erne! c$annel wi!$ ;al!er- le!c$ an"

+iv# T$ey ma"e san"wic$es w$ic$ ea!ure" res$ly&rown !oma!oes rom !$e back yar"# I wan!e" !o be a

celebri!y- I su%%ose-5 E""ie sai"# T$ey sa! on !$e loor in !$e livin& room aroun" an an!i*ua!e" !runk w$ic$

serve" as a coee !able# I wan!e" !o be $ones!- !oo#5

Write what you know.5 le!c$ like" !$e i"ea o ea!in& res$ oo"# T$e c$ives were s!ill comin&

alon& an" woul" be a nice !rea! soon enou&$#

Every sin&le one o us $a!e" w$a! was &oin& on "urin& !$e !wo !$ousan"s# T$e Re%ublicans

$aven! won an elec!ion since BCC8 Ri&$! +iv4 7ou rea" !$e @re& ,alas! book# 3ight 45 E""ie c$ecke"

$is 7ouTube u%"a!es !$rou&$ $is i,$one as !$ey c$a!!e"# +iv no""e" in a&reemen!# Im no! sure I

woul"n! "o w$a! !$ey "i" "ijack our country85

I!s &onna be over-5 +ivian sai"# I kee% !ellin& !$e ki"s we =us! $ave !o wai! i! ou!# ' year4 I

"on! know# ;e $ave !o wai! i! ou!#5



That 3omney thing was so close: T$ey almos! ri%%e" our %ro&ress away#5 E""ie was sur%rise"

!$a! le!c$ an" ;al! "i"n! c$i% in# In my las! vlo& beore !$e 6'i%%ling vi"- I line" ou! w$a! I %ro%ose

s$oul" $a%%en i our &overnmen! never im%lica!es !$e 3ogues# T$ermi!e8 I !$ink !$a! in 2!@ -

"emoli!ionis!s s$oul" line !$e ;$i!e House %illars wi!$ !$e same incen"iary subs!ance !$a! !$ey %u! alon&

!$e core beams insi"e o !$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er !owers# ,oe!ic =us!ice- you know4 I! !ook a w$ile or

'merica !o con!em%la!e !$e 6multiple shooter theory wi!$ !$e J assassina!ion# ne !$ir" o !$e %eo%le in

our na!ion !$ink i! was an insi"e =ob# /$oul"n! we $ave !$e ree"om !o make !$e movies weve always

ma"e4 ;$y were sena!ors $oun"in& !$e makers o )ero ark Thirty4 'n" !$a! lick a! leas! tried !o &o

alon& wi!$ !$e socalle" oicial s!ory85

o you remember <B/ &ave in !o %ressure abou! s$owin& a series abou! 3onald 3eagan45

le!c$er inally c$ime" in# I!s !$e same !$in& over a&ain### an" a&ain# 7ou can say Jimmy <ar!er was

be$in" nine eleven an" o9 ?ews is &onna run wi!$ i!> no proof needed # Im%lica!e someone rom !$e

@,4 @e! rea"y or !$e clink or %a""e" walls85

T$is w$ole !$in& wi!$ ?im =ong$un !$rea!enin& !o nuke A'4 I !$ink $es !ryin& !o libera!e us8 Ireally "o8 I believe $e !$inks were %risoners o our own &overnmen!# That,s what / talked about in my

most recent vlog # 7our music vi"eo $as more views- by !$e way# 'll !$ese ri&$!win&ers wi&&in& ou! !$a!

ennis Ro"man wen! !o ?or!$ orea4 o you remember w$en Jesse Jackson $a" !o &o !o Israel !o solve a

"is%u!e4 T$ese suits !$ink !$eyre &oin& !o s!ru! in!o s!ru&&lin& areas- smile !$eir &leamin& smiles- an" all

!$e c$il"ren o !$ese orei&n lan"s are &onna be& !o %ro"uce our %ro"uc!s in slave con"i!ions8 I! "oesn!

work like !$a!#5

+ivian lau&$e"# Remember 3omney wen! !o see Manny ,ac*uiao beore a i&$!4 -ac>uiao got

his clock cleaned that night 85

T$a!s w$a! Im sayin&#5 E""ie s$ook $is $ea" in revulsion# T$ese &uys !$ink !$eyre &oo"

luck c$arms bu! !$eir !imes $ave %asse" an" !$eyre ri"in& coa!!ails o &$os!s#5

Im an ol"er w$i!e man#5 ;al!er inally en!ere" !$e conversa!ion# I "on! be$ave like !$em#

T$e ki"s are ou! !$ere $ikin& somew$ere# 3amon was !alkin& abou! bein& a"o%!e"# His biolo&ical a!$er is

Bua!is!a bu! $e "i"n! know abou! i! un!il $i&$ sc$ool# He &o! !rea!e" "ieren! by sc$ool counselors !$an

Ta" an" Bren! even !$ou&$ !$ey $a" !$e same &ra"es#5

+eep# beep#

;$a!s !$a!45 E""ie s!oo" u%# I !$ink I $ear###5

+eep beep beep#

+ivian an" le!c$ s!oo"#

+eeeeeeeeeep#

/omeones !ryin& !o &e! our a!!en!ion#5 ;al!er s!oo" an" $ea"e" !o !$e ron! "oor#

E""ie <ally%so %eeke" !$rou&$ win"ow cur!ains# @uess w$o i! is- &uys45

I!s &o!!a be 'ha%bot 85 le!c$er $el" +ivs $an"# Hes !$e only one !$a! knows were $ere85

7ea$8 I!s 'ha%bot 85 E""ie mo!ione" !o ;al!er !o o%en !$e "oor# Hes &o! com%any# Ma!!$ew



/!ubbs is wi!$ $im an"### Is !$a! &ecily 'trong 45

;al!er ease" !$e ron! "oor o%en# Hes "rivin& a vin!a&e ;orl" ;ar II Jee%85

+ivian rus$e" %asse" ;al!er# le!c$ ollowe" $er# 'ha%bot0 ;$a!s &oin& on45

;e $ave a &i! or you8 irs!- I wan! !o %resen! inah85 /$a.bo! $u&&e" +ivian !$en &es!ure"

!owar" !$e %assen&ers sea!# /$es a beauty8 'n" la!er- I $ave a s%ecial sur%rise !$a! Ma!!- $ere- "oesn!

even know abou!85

Hello85 ina$s new ace blus$e"# I eel so muc$ be!!er# I eel like a real person#5

/t really is &ecily 'trong - +ivian !$ou&$!# /$e a%%roac$e" ina$ an" %u! $er $an" below $er ear

an" rubbe" !$e base o $er neck# 1o. 1ot human skin. Android. 6ooks real# but she,s the same thing as

'ha%bot # @oo" !o see you85 +ivian inally sai"# ina$ ma"e $er way ou! o !$e ve$icle# In !$e back sea!-

Ma!! sa! ne9! !o a bear ru&# ;$a!s !$is45

I s$o! $im-5 Ma!! sai"# His ace !wi!c$e" an" $e aver!e" eye con!ac!# emocra!s4 T$eres !oo

many o !$em# Marylan"# I wen! $un!in& wi!$ <ornelius# 7ou &uys $ave !o s$a%e u% or $es &oin& !o blow

you u% ne9! ebruary in <an"les!ick ,ark#5I!s no! &oin& !o $a%%en85 +iv sai"# Ma!! ma"e $is way ou! o !$e Jee% an" %ulle" !$e bear ru&

wi!$ $im# T$ose "u"es are cra%y an" !$eyve "one a lo! o "ama&e### bu! !$eyre scare" now# 'n" !$ey

know !$eyre cra.y#5

Beore !$ey "i"n! know !$ey were cra.y45 Ma!! slun& !$e "ea" bear over $is s$oul"er# ;$en

!$ey $a" me buil" a "ea!$ cam% in In"iana4 T$a! wasn! cra.y4 T$ey know i! now- !$ou&$45

I coul" see i! in $is ace las! !ime-5 +ivian sai"# T$eyre "oin& !$ese nu!!y !$in&s s!ill### bu! !$ey

"on! wan! !o# '! leas!- &ornelius "oesn! wan! !o# T$ese are !$e las! o $is wil" oa!s#5

I $o%e youre ri&$!#5 Ma!! walke" !o !$e co!!a&es "oor an" $an"e" !$e bear ru& !o le!c$er# I

"i"n! wan! !o kill $im#5

le!c$er !ook !$e ru&# T$is was your lesson- $u$4 T$eres !oo many useless %eo%le in !$e worl"

or !$e 3ogues !o $an"le so <ornelius /!uar! !akes you $un!in&4 I!s su%%ose" !o s$ow !$a! were all in a

6kill or be kille" universe45 le!c$er %lo%%e" !$e bear on!o !$e loor near !$e ire%lace# 's muc$ as Im

a&ains! !$is> hunting wild animals with insanely overpowering weapons >were &oin& !o use !$is !o

remin" ourselves !$a! i!s real# Their desire to clear our planet of unwanted inhabitants# oesn! ma!!er i

youre $uman or no!#5

<an I $ave a san"wic$45 Ma!! looke" a! !$e !runk !$ey" been ea!in& aroun"#

?nock yourself out 85 le!c$er wen! ou!si"e !o !alk wi!$ +iv- /$a.bo! an" ina$# He looke" in!o

!$e nor!$ern woo"s an" saw !$a! Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon were re!urnin& rom a walk# ?ancy was wi!$ !$em#

le!c$er almos! or&o! !$a! s$e was missin& rom !$e &rou%# le!c$ wen! !o &ree! !$em# Ma!! $a" i9e" $is

san"wic$ an" a!e as $e s!rolle" !o !$e Jee%# ;$a!re you lookin& or45 le!c$er aske" $im#

I &o! souvenirs85 Ma!! rumma&e"# :n"er a camoula&e slee%in& ba&- !$ere were a ew i!ems#

He %ulle" one ou!# T$is4 o you remember this- le!c$er45 He $el" i! u% an" &aine" !$e &rou%s

a!!en!ion# T$is re" abric !$in&4 I!s a wind sock - %eo%le8 I!s !o &ive $elico%!ers a soli" i"ea o $ow



muc$ win" is blowin&### an" i!s "irec!ion- !oo#5

;$y" you brin& i!4 ;$ere" i! come rom45 +ivian a%%roac$e" an" el! !$e win" sock wi!$ $er

$an"s#

I &o! i! rom !$e Beec$ @rove acili!y I worke" a!#5 Ma!! looke" a! le!c$er# o you wan! !o

a"" any!$in&45

T$ey were all over !$e %lace-5 le!c$er sai"# He looke" a! !$e ki"s5 an" no!ice" in!eres! in !$eir

acial e9%ressions#

T$e %lace once !ook in 'm!rak !rains# I! $a" cranes !$ere rom !$e 'rmy# I! $a" locomo!ives

marke" wi!$ 6:/ 'ir orce %ain!# T$e acili!y was "esi&na!e" wi!$ &reen- blue an" re" .ones# T$e re"

.ones $a" minia!ure lanes- %robably or $umans !o s!an" in line#5 Ma!! lau&$e"# T$ere was !$is $i&$

&uar" !ower# I race" le!c$er !o !$e !o%# ;e "i"n! &o a! !$e same !ime# ;e use" a s!o%wa!c$ a%% !o

"e!ermine !$e winner#5

'n" !$a!s unny45 +ivian $an"e" !$e win" sock back#

;$a! "oesn! kill ya makes you s!ron&er#5 Ma!! searc$e" !$rou&$ !$e back o !$e Jee% a&ain# He %ulle" ou! a si&n# +urle-5 $e rea" lar&e w$i!e %rin! on a black me!al %lacar"# :n"er Burle5 were smaller

w$i!e le!!ers# Robo! access con!rol $ar"ware-5 Ma!! rea" i! !$en %asse" !$e si&n aroun"#

'tealing from the 5nited 'tates government is a felony85 /$a.bo! !ook !$e si&n !$en $an"e" i!

alon&#

Tom Mcay sai" I coul" !ake some !$in&s-5 Ma!! !ol" /$a.# T$e me!al !urns!iles were o%era!e"

elec!ronically# T$a!s !$e com%any !$a! %rovi"e" !$e Beec$ @rove s!u#5 Ma!! wen! back !o !$e Jee%# He

%ulle" ou! a re" !ar%- %er$a%s si9 by ei&$! ee!# Heres one o !$e 6 3ed )one %os!ers# I !$ou&$! Ta" mi&$!

wan! !o $an& i! on a wall# I un"ers!an" $e collec!s movie %os!ers an" even makes ori&inals o $is own#5

Ma!! $an"e" !$e !ar% !o +ivian# /$e e9amine" i! !$en &ave i! !o $er ne%$ew#

le!c$er Browne !ro!!e" !o +ivs <orvair an" %ulle" some %ic!ures rom !$e &love com%ar!men!#

I $ave some s!u i ya &uys wan! more85 He $an"e" a $an"ul o %$o!os aroun"# T$ere was a black

$elico%!er !$a! ke%! .oomin& over$ea"# 7oull no!ice many ences# T$e barbe" wire w$en i!s no! coile" in

a s%iral loo% aces inwar"# I!s !o kee% %eo%le in# T$e small- yellow $u! is w$ere !$e main &as was# T$ere

were urnaces o!$er %laces bu!###5

I "on! !$ink !$eyre &onna kee% i! close"#5 Ma!! in!erru%!e" le!c$# I wen! $un!in& wi!$

<ornelius# T$ose &uys "on! c$an&e#5

Okay45 +ivian wan!e" more o an u%"a!e# 're we su%%ose" !o be scare"4 /$oul" we run an"

$i"e somew$ere else45

I! was on Marc$ 1D- 200L w$en <on&ress $el" i!s our!$ ever close""oor mee!in& rom !$e

%ublic since FF@ #5 Ma!! leane" a&ains! !$e vin!a&e 'rmy Jee%# T$ey knew !$e economy woul" colla%se

by /e%!ember o !$a! year>a colla%se now known as !$e 6@rea! Recession# <ornelius /!uar! was %rivy !o

!$e sub=ec!s "iscusse" as $e briefed many members o !$e House an" /ena!e abou! in!elli&ence an"

solu!ions# T$ey believe" &ivil War coul" ensue i !$e "ownwar" s%iral coul"n! be s!o%%e"# T$e Beec$



@rove acili!y was one o many w$ic$ were %re%are" or 6worse case scenarios# T$ey i&ure" !$a! ?or!$

'merica woul" become a na!ion# <ana"a $as resources an" Me9ico $as c$ea% labor# T$e 6'mero woul"

re%lace !$e "ollar an" %eso#5

I! soun"s like a stupid# stupid movie85 +ivian %u! $er arm aroun" $er ne%$ew# ;$en is !$is

wacke" ou! bull cra% &onna en"45

Im never &oin& !o be !$e same-5 Ma!! !ol" $er# I never wan!e" !o %u! !$e !$in&s !o&e!$er !o

be&in wi!$# I "i"n! wan! !o s$oo! a bear# Ive been bea! u% by a lar&e man in a rabbi! cos!ume- !$ou&$#

;$y can! we s$oo! bears wi!$ !ran*uili.er &uns an" &ive 6em !$eir own islan" somew$ere4 I "on! know

!$e answer !o !$a!# I mean- i were killin& !$em now because !$eres !oo many an" !$eyll come in!o our

nei&$bor$oo"s4 I "on! know# 1inety percent # <ornelius sai" nine!y %ercen! o us woul" $ave !o "ie or

!$em !o be comor!able#5

T$ey coul" "o !$a! an" $ave !$e same eel as s%rayin& $ouselies wi!$ 3aid 45 le!c$er s$ook $is

$ea" in "isbelie an" "is&us!# /$a.4 How are you comin& alon& wi!$ ree will45

Im almos! all !$ere- sir# 'lmos! a $un"re" %ercen!# I! is !rue !$a! I was "esi&ne" !o $ave a %ro'merican bias in my ini!ial se!u%# I believe @eor&e ; Bus$ is###5 /$a.bo! $esi!a!e"# Im !ee!erin&- sir# I

coul" answer# My %ro&ram %rom%!s me !o say !$a! @eor&e ; is won"erul# My lie in!erac!ion !$us ar $as

only conirme" !$is %res!a!e" no!ion wi!$ cer!ain members o cable ne!work news !elevision# I $aven!

oun" many %eo%le- ace!oace- !ou!in& $is recor" as a %resi"en!# T$ese are basic ac!s an" I am on !$e

ver&e o $avin& a uni*ue o%inion based on !$ose ac!s>an o%inion w$ic$ is no! a sim%le re&ur&i!a!ion o

Bill Reilly### or some!$in& else oun" in by!es on my in!ernal $ar" "rive#5

T$a! is &oo" !o $ear- my rien"#5 le!c$er rule" /$a.bo!s syn!$e!ic $air#

I !$ey &as you- I will ly an 3P Ai&$!in& II an" w$i% !$e ;$i!e House in!o s$a%e-5 /$a. sai"#

He scra!c$e" $is c$in# ;oul" !$a! be calle" an o%inion45

T$ere is sub!e9! !o w$a! you sai"- /$a.# T$a! means a lo!85 le!c$er smile"#

<an $e really "o !$a!45 +ivian aske"# I mean- i !$eyre really !ryin& !o bury us un"er !$e rubble

o <an"les!ick ,ark ne9! year###5

;e can! be like !$em#5 le!c$er $el" +ivs ri&$! $an" as s$e con!inue" wi!$ $er le! arm aroun"

$er ne%$ew# le!c$er sai"- T$ere are many minori!y &rou%s w$o" love !o enslave w$i!e 'n&lo/a9on

,ro!es!an!s- %ar!icularly ol"er aluen! males# ;e can! become !$e !$in& we $a!e" an" s!ru&&le" a&ains!#

How are we &onna &o !o be" wi!$ clean conscious45

;eve &o! !o !eac$ !$em conse>uence- le!c$er#5 +iv s*uee.e" $is $an"# T$eyll kee% screwin&

wi!$ us# ;$y "o !$ey &e! !o ska!e by45

;ell cross !$a! bri"&e w$en we &e! !o i!-5 le!c$ sai"# I eel sorry or !$em- or some reason# I

can! i&ure ou! w$y# I eel sorry or !$em#5 le!c$er %ulle" +ivian ne9! !o $im# Her smile $a"n! c$an&e"

since $i&$ sc$ool# He %ulle" $er $ea" close !o $is an" !ouc$e" $er nose wi!$ $is# I!s !ime- I !$ink#5

+ivian /!ree!s w$is%ere" in!o le!c$er Brownes ear# I "i"n! $ave a %erio" !$is mon!$#5

le!c$er %us$e" +iv back# 're we %re&nan!45 He was $a%%y bu! !$e moo" was "am%ene" by a



&a.in& an"roi"#

Aove bir"s4 I $ave a really nea! sur%rise or you8 T$is one is or !$e books85 /$a.bo! =um%e"

in!o !$e "rivers si"e o !$e Jee%# Ho% in &uys85

<an we brin& anyone45 +ivian mo!ione" or !$e ki"s5 !o come#

'orry# toots85 /$a.bo! %u! on slick Ray Ban sun&lasses# ;e ly solo !$is !ime85

I love you85 le!c$er &rabbe" +iv as s$e $ea"e" !owar" !$e vin!a&e mili!ary ve$icle# ;ell

!$ink o a name#5

Im $a%%y85 +ivian =um%e" u% an" &rabbe" le!c$ !i&$!ly aroun" !$e neck# Her le&s clam%e"

aroun" $is wais!# le!c$er carrie" $er an" se! $er in !$e back sea!# He =um%e" in!o !$e s$o!&un sea!#

Hol" !$e or! "own85 /$a.bo! yelle" !o ina$# He %eele" ou! an" beore lon&- !$ey were

.oomin& wes!war" alon& !$e Mac"onal"<arier reeway# /$a. $an"e" a cou%le o small lamina!e" car"s

back !o +iv# T$is is =us! a small !$in&#5

;ow85 +ivian e9amine" !wo Marylan" "rivers licenses# ne I ea!ure" a %ic!ure o /$a.bo!

an" !$e o!$er one ea!ure" a %ic!ure o ina$# I! was no bi& "eal !$a! /$a. woul" $ave !$ese "ocumen!s# I!was !$e names on !$e "ocumen!s !$a! were no!ewor!$y# le!c$er4 /$a.bo! Browne an" ina$ /!ree!s85

/$e $an"e" !$e licenses orwar"# Aook85

le!c$er !ook !$e i"en!iica!ions# Im%ressive8 @oo" !as!e- /$a.85

7ou &uys are winners85 /$a.bo! smirke"# His $air !wis!e" in !$e win"# le!c$er was almos! sure

!$a! $is acial e9%ressions were becomin& e9ac!ly $uman#

+ivian leane" orwar" an" s$ou!e"- I mi&$! be $avin& a baby- /$a.bo!85

What 4 I can $ar"ly $ear you8 T$e win" is ma"ness85 /$a.bo! s%e" alon&# ;e "on! $ave

muc$ more o a "rive8 Tell me la!er85 /$a.bo!- le!c$er an" +iv wen! wi!$ou! !alkin& un!il !$ey reac$e"

/!ra!or"# ;ere $ere85 /$a.bo! &leame" an" mo!ione" or le!c$ an" +iv !o $urry u% an" ollow# T$ey

=o&&e" !o a Black Hawk $elico%!er# 's !$ey boar"e"- /$a. en!ice" +iv- 7ou were sayin&4 n !$e roa"4

7ou $a" news o some kin"45

I!ll wai!85 +ivs $air was kno!!e" a bi! rom !$e o%enair !ravel# ;$ere are we &oin&45

/$a.bo! s!ar!e" !$e $elico%!er# Have you $ear" o Elko- ?eva"a4 I!s a beau!iul %lace8 Bin&

<rosby was an $onorary mayor !$ere85 T$e co%!er li!e" in!o !$e air# Minin& !own8 In 1LC1- mos! o !$e

business area was "es!roye" by ire85

Elkos ri&$! be!ween Ta$oe an" /al! Aake <i!y85 le!c$er !ol" +iv# r ri&$! be!ween +e&as an"

Boise8 Mi""le o now$ere- !$ou&$85

'ounds fun85 +ivian saw a $elme! on !$e loor an" %u! i! on#

In 1LL2- !$e ;$i!e /ul%$ur /%rin&s Ho!el burn! "own8 Bu! !$ey buil! i! ri&$! back u% a&ain85

/$a.bo! !ook o $is Ray Bans an" %u! on amber &o&&les# +ad luck with those fires8 Because in 1LFF- !$e

Ho! /%rin&s Ho!el burn! "own8 ;ow8 Hu$45

;$a!s your %oin!45 le!c$ smacke" /$a. on !$e back o $is $ea"# 're you &oin& somew$ere

wi!$ !$is4 're you !ryin& !o scare us45



I! "oesn! en" !$ere8 In 1F1L- an elemen!ary sc$ool burn! "own on <$ris!mas8 In 1F324 T$a!s

w$en &amblin& was le&ali.e"85 /$a.bo! c$ecke" ins!rumen!s an" ma"e a"=us!men!s wi!$ swi!c$es an"

levers# In 1FD2- !$e $i&$ sc$ool cau&$! ire8 In 1FDF- !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el o%ens### an" i! &oes abla.e8

T$is !own knows nothing abou! sae!y- ri&$!4 In 1FPC- /!ockmens Ho!el burns8 ;$a!!a rio!85 's "usk se!

in- !$e Black Hawk lan"e" nor!$ o Elko# /$a.bo!- le!c$er an" +iv boar"e" a Russian MR',# T$ese

ine an!imine !rucks are nes!le" !$rou&$ou! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es- now# Have you $ear" !$a! elly 'yo!!e

believes !$a! 'merican ron! yar"s are now le&i! ba!!leiel"s4 Ain"sey @ra$am wan!s !o s$oo! uckers wi!$

,re"a!or "rones8 T$a!s be!ween you an" me85 /$a.bo! "rove !o !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el# T$ere was

yellow !a%e %rom%!in& %e"es!rians !o s!ay away# :nlike o!$er casinos in !$e re&ion- !$ere were no li&$!s on#

T$is $o!el $as seen i!s las! "ays-5 /$a.bo! sai"# He !urne" on a las$li&$! an" s$ine" i! on an en!rance

"oor lock# He %ulle" ou! a rin& o keys# ;e $ave !$e %rivile&e o bein& !$e las! %eo%le insi"e !$is =oin!85

/$a.bo! o%ene" !$e "oor an" $ea"e" in# T$is $o!el is no lon&er on !$e &ri" bu! !$ere is a &enera!or

allowin& us li&$!#5 /$a.bo! licke" a swi!c$# In !$e %as! ew "eca"es- !$e bo!!om loor woul" be ull o slo!

mac$ines an" black=ack !ables# ?ow- !$e %lace was em%!y# ;arnin&5 si&ns were $un& on !$e walls# T$eire "i"n! "es!roy !$is %lace !$e irs! year i! o%ene"# Tomorrow4 ' le&al "emoli!ion#5

This is because of thermite# isn,t it 4 7oure &oin& !o s$ow us $ow !$e c$ar&es are se! in!o !$e

buil"in&- aren! you4 7ou are !$e man- /$a.85 T$ere were $ar" $a!s an" las$li&$!s a! !$e c$eckin "esk#

le!c$er &rabbe" a cou%le o las$li&$!s an" $an"e" one !o +iv# T$ermi!e burns a! or!yei&$! $un"re"

"e&rees a$ren$ei!8 ' w$i!e %ow"er# ;$ere is i!4 :sually !$e c$ar&es are %u! in !$e lower %arkin&

s!ruc!ures# T$ey $ave !o be se! a! or!yive "e&rees aroun" core beams so !$e buil"in& im%lo"es# Timing #

I! $as !o be %recision !imin&#5

7ou are so smar!85 /$a.bo! le" le!c$ an" +iv alon& !$e $all# eel ree !o %u! your is! in!o a

wall# I!s no! &onna $ur! anyone#5

le!c$er45 +iv in!erlocke" $er in&ers wi!$ $er lie %ar!ner# I $ave bu!!erlies#5

7ou "i" your $omework well85 /$a.bo! o%ene" !$e %arkin& s!ruc!ure "oor an" s$ine" $is li&$! a!

!$ick columns# /ee !$e wires4 /ee $ow !$eyre "ra%e"# Jus! like you sai"# T$is %lace is rea"y or an

im%losion85

;$a! are we "oin& $ere45 +ivians *ues!ion wen! unanswere"# Every !ime I believe !$is

screwy mess can! &e! more eerie- i! "oes#5

/ee enou&$45 /$a.bo! !race" "e!ona!ion wires wi!$ $is li&$!# T$ere is more bu! we "on! $ave

all ni&$! !o e9amine i!#5

Ae!s roll8 ;$a! more "o you $ave4 <uriosi!y kille" !$e ca!### bu! Im no! a cat - /$a.85 le!c$er

%a!!e" /$a.bo! on !$e s$oul"er#

unny you s$oul" say !$a!#5 /$a. s$ine" $is li&$! a! a %arkin& s!ruc!ure s!aircase# ;e can &o u%

!$a! way or we can &o alon& !$e car %a!$#5

Ae!s "o !$e car %a!$8 I use" !o skateboard in !$ese !$in&s85 le!c$ers bloo" %um%e"# I!s

comin& !o&e!$er in my min"8 I can see e"eral a&en!s linin& !$ese e9%losives a! !$e base o !$e Towers8



T$ank you- /$a.bo!#5

T$e &rou% walke" alon& !$e slan!e" %a!$ w$ic$ !ook !$em !o !$e secon" level# T$eyll miss !$is

%lace#5 T$ere were no cars on !$e irs! loor# /$a. s$ine" $is li&$! !o !$e mi""le o !$e secon" level# T$ere

was a black nine!eensi9!ies o"&e van# ,ain! was c$i%%e" o in lar&e c$unks# I! was ba"ly rus!e" a! i!s

base an" i! was %rimere" alon& i!s si"e sli"in& "oor# T$is is !$e sur%rise- le!c$er Browne85 /$a.

reac$e" !$e van an" sli" !$e si"e "oor o%en# <ornelius /!uar! was !ie" !o a c$air# Tomorrow4 T$is

buil"in& &oes "own#5 <ornelius !remble" an" swea! %oure" "own $is ore$ea"# How are you "oin&-

boss45

<ornelius "i" no! answer# le!c$er "eman"e"- ;$a!s &oin& on- /$a.bo!84 Tell me w$a! !$e

$eck is &oin& on85

I reac$e" one $un"re" %ercen! ree will a ew "ays a&o# I !$ou&$! abou! all !$e issues an"

consi"ere" !$is variable wi!$ !$a! one# <ornelius /!uar! is no! bluin& abou! wan!in& !o blow you an"

+ivian u% ne9! year a! <an"les!ick ,ark#5 /$a.bo! s$ine" $is li&$! on $is own ace# o you know w$en a

ire alarm is $a%%ies!4 ;$en i! "oesn! $ave !o work8 Im a mac$ine# ee% "own- I know youll alwayssee me as a mac$ine# I a ire alarm is blarin&- i!s because !$eres ba" news# T$ese &uys> these fuckers

that abduct poor souls and torture them4 T$eyre su%%ose" !o be walllowers# I !$ey are "oin& !$eir =obs-

you "on! know !$a! !$eyre !$ere# Bu! !$is &uy4 Hes vane# Hes in your face and he,s in my face# T$ey

%u! !$eir noses in %laces !$ey "on! belon&#5

7ouve come a lon& way- /$a.85 +ivian el! sorry or <ornelius# /t,s you or it,s us- s$e !$ou&$!#

're you okay- sir45 s$e aske" <ornelius# ;ere you really &oin& !o kill me an" le!c$er45 <ornelius sai"

no wor" bu! $e no""e" yes5# 'ha%bot has him scared. Why would he be honest0

I nee" you !o s!e% in!o !$e ve$icle- +ivian#5 /$a.bo! s$ine" $is li&$! "ownwar" so !$a! +iv coul"

see w$ere !o s!e%# T$is is w$ere !$e &ame be&ins# 3ussian roulette# How a%%ro%ria!e8 ;e "rove a

Russian mili!ary ve$icle $ere### an" were in a %lace once es!eeme" or roule!!e %lay# +ivian4 I nee" you !o

&o in !$ere an" !alk sense in!o $im# I $ave an inner moral com%ass !$a! !u&s a! me# I was "esi&ne" or war

bu! I was re%ro&ramme" or %eace# I learne" rom every"ay social in!erac!ion# I $ave a conlic! !$a! you

mus! resolve# I canno! kill <ornelius### bu! I can! allow $im !o kill you#5

;$y "o !$ese !$in&s $ave !o be so com%lica!e"45 +ivian aske"#

on! &o in !$ere- +iv85 le!c$er &ras%e" a! +ivs wris!#

;e $ave !$ir!y minu!es !o resolve !$is issue#5 /$a.bo! wore an an!i*ue Time9 wa!c$ an" %oin!e"

a! i!# ;e all blow i you can! i&ure some!$in& ou!#5

/,ll talk to him85 le!c$er s!e%%e" !owar" <ornelius bu! /$a. $el" $im back#

+iv4 I! mus! be you# I!s %ro&ramme"#5 /$a.bo! s$ook $is $ea"- seemin&ly in rus!ra!ion or

"is&us!# I I "on! &e! back !o !$e MR', in ive minu!es wi!$ le!c$er- we all &o kaboom8 I $ave a "evice

!$ere !$a! mus! re&is!er bo!$ o our voices# I $ave ano!$er "evice w$ic$ mus! re&is!er your voice wi!$

<ornelius simul!aneously in !$is van#5

+iv looke" a! le!c$er# /$oul" I45



o i!85 le!c$er $el" +iv#

+ivian s!e%%e" in!o !$e van# /$e !urne" back !owar" /$a.bo!# ;$a! e9ac!ly am I su%%ose" !o

accom%lis$ $ere45

I nee" !o believe !$a! $e $as c$an&e" $is min"# n !$e loor a! !$e rear youll see a walkie !alkie#

7ou !ell me w$en !$is &uy is so ri%%e" ou! o $is min" !$a! $e "enounces !or!ure85 /$a. %oke" $is li&$! an"

s$ine" i! !owar" !$e vans back "oors#

7ou are !or!urin& $im in or"er !o s!o% !or!ure- /$a.bo!8 7ou are a mac$ine# 7ou "on! see !$e

allacy in your me!$o"4 ;$en "oes i! en"45 +ivian "i"n! wai! or /$a. !o e9%lain $imsel# I !imes

s$or!- Ill s!ar!#5

Have you $ear" o a =us! war- +ivian4 T$a!s w$a! !$is is#5 /$a.bo! salu!e" +iv# T$is is a

cultural war !$a! Im inally reco&ni.in&#5

I su%%ose youre or ca%i!al %unis$men!8 illin& killers- ri&$!45 le!c$er %ulle" /$a. away rom

!$e van# Ae!s &o# I we $ave ive minu!es- I "on! wan! !o balk# 6et,s go85 le!c$ an" /$a. =e!!e" !owar"

!$e Russian ve$icle !$ey $a" arrive" in# T$ey &o! back wi!$ a minu!e !o s%are# /$a. $an"e" a walkie !alkie!o le!c$- +iv4 ;ere $ere# /$a. is $ol"in& an o""lookin& ins!rumen!#5

Im okay### bu! $es no! !alkin&#5 +ivians voice cracke"#

/$a.bo! %resse" a &reen bu!!on on $is s%eciali.e" remo!econ!rolle" "evice# ;e $ave !wen!yive

minu!es now# I we "on! reac$ resolu!ion- !$a! buil"in& blows u% !oni&$!8 T$e %ublic is e9%ec!in& !$is !o

$a%%en in !$e mornin&# ' %ress release will &o ou! !$a! an acci"en! $a%%ene" an" !$e c$ar&es li!

%rema!urely# 6?o one in=ure" i! will say### bu! we bo!$ know <ornelius will be in !$a! rubble#5

'n" +iv4 Is s$e sae45 le!c$er was ran!ic# ;$a! abou! my love45

I $ave a ba" vibe on $er-5 /$a.bo! sai"# Her "a" is a billionaire# o you know $ow you accrue

so muc$ weal!$4 7ou $ave !o be a socio%a!$#5

'ha% 4 Tell me youre ki""in&#5 le!c$er sla%%e" /$a.s ri&$! c$eek a cou%le o !imes# <an you

eel !$is4 <an your syn!$e!ic skin re&is!er %ain45

Have you $ear" o !$e ?or!$ro% @rumman RKD @lobal Hawk4 ine %iece o mac$inery# I!s

my cousin- you know4 icks !$e shit ou! o !$e ,re"a!or "rone#5 /$a.bo! rubbe" $is ri&$! c$eek#

?o !ime or small !alk8 ;$a! are you &e!!in& a!845 le!c$er was !em%!e" !o %ress !$e walkie

!alkie si"e bu!!on !o s%eak wi!$ +iv# He %asse"#

;ere !akin& over#5 /$a.bo! s!ill rubbe" $is c$eek# ;e "o your !a9es an" we even i&ure ou!

w$os dangerous !o socie!y# +iv4 /$es "an&erous# /$es no! &oin& !o *ui! wi!$ $er *ues! !o en" !$e

:ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen!85

6We,re taking over 4 7ou mean 6robo!s- correc!45 le!c$er looke" a! !$e walkie !alkie in $is

$an"# 'n" !$is is your aun!ie- isn! i!485

,re"a!or "rones will s$oo! a! 'merican ci!i.ens beore !$e ne9! elec!ion in 201G# Im almos! sure

o i!# T$e @lobal Hawk4 ;$o nee"s $uman %ilo!s anymore4 7ou can no lon&er run an" $i"e#5 /$a.bo!

reac$e" un"er $is sea! an" %ulle" ou! ano!$er walkie !alkie# +ivian4 Has <ornelius /!uar! renounce" $is



"e!rimen!al me!$o"s4 're you makin& %ro&ress45

+ivian /!ree!s sa! on !$e van loor in ron! o <ornelius /!uar!# /$e $ear" /$a.bo!s voice bu!

"i"n! res%on"# <ornelius /!uar! s!ill $a"n! u!!ere" a wor"#

?o answer-5 /$a.bo! sai"# Maybe s$es in !rouble bu! I !$ink s$es %layin& a men!al &ame o ca!

an" mouse#5

;$y a&ain are Russian mili!ary ve$icles in !$e :ni!e" /!a!es45 le!c$er be&an !o calm "own#

$8 :ni!e" ?a!ions# T$eyre even s!o%%in& ci!i.ens aroun" @a!linbur&- Tennessee aroun" !$e

@rea! /moky Moun!ains w$ere !$ey !rain# I!" be a great %lace or you !o &o an" "ocumen! !$rou&$

%$o!o&ra%$y8 Have you $ear" o !$e ?a!ional eense 'u!$ori.a!ion 'c!4 Aie as you knew i!- le!c$eris

basically over# T$a!s w$y were $ere8 I! s!ar!e" wi!$ !$e ,osse <omi!a!us 'c! o 1LCL# ;ay back !$en-

!$e :ni!e" /!a!es ma"e i! clear !$a! !$e 'rmy woul"n! %olice 'merican ci!i.ens "omes!ically# T$e ?''

says- 6 7uck you -osse &omitatus Act 8 We,ll shoot you here if we deem you to be a terrorist 8 I!s $ar" or

me !o run my %ro&rammin&- le!c$# 7ou see4 T$ey $ave me wire" !o "o o%%osi!e !$in&s# ;$a! $a%%ens

w$en Im sworn !o !$e <ons!i!u!ion bu! <ornelius /!uar! !ells me !o "o some!$in& way "ieren!45' *uan"ary85 le!c$er sai"# ;e all &o !$rou&$ 6em85

o you4 o you know w$o !$e ,romise ee%ers are4 T$ese &uys $ave !aken a vow !o u%$ol"

!$e <ons!i!u!ion even i !$eyre or"ere" !o viola!e ci!i.ens ri&$!s### like w$a! $a%%ene" a!er !$e a!rina

s!orm w$en !$u&s were sen! !o bea! u% &ran"mo!$ers !o !ake !$eir %riva!e arms#5 ' !ear !rickle" "own

/$a.bo!s eye# / think / just cried 8 I knew !$is coul" $a%%en#5

I !$ink you $ave circui!s crosse" an" youre %u!!in& my &irlrien" a! &rave risk8 7ou be!!er know

w$a! youre "oin&85 le!c$er s$ook $is walkie !alkie a! /$a. as $e s%oke#

I! s!ar!e" wi!$ EM' w$en Rea&an was elec!e"# o you know w$o Aouis @iuri"a is4 @oo&le

$im on your i,$one# 6ooks like ister +ean# He was EM's irs! "irec!or# T$ey lai" ou! !$e

con!in&encies or mass u%risin&s# Twenty$one million militant negroes# T$a!s w$a! !$e "ea!$ cam%s are

or- le!c$er# ' mass e9o"us o Me9icans across !$e 3io (rande# How coul" I make !$is u%4 HRGDP#

Ran" ,aul ran!in& abou! !$e "rones recen!ly4 I won"er w$o !$ese &uys are# Im a robo! an" I $ave access

!o millions o bi!s o ino %er secon"# T$ese %eo%le are "ouble a&en!s- !$ey inver! !$eir inorma!ion- !$ey

li% lo%- an" I can! !ell you w$o !$ey really are# /ome!imes- I won"er i they know w$o !$ey are#5

7oure &oin& !o blow u% <ornelius /!uar!# I can eel !$a!#5 le!c$er Browne wi%e" $is "ri%%in&

ore$ea"# /ave my &irlrien"85

Ive come !o believe !$a! s$e mus! save $ersel# I! wen! or <ornelius beore I !ie" $im in !$a!

van# Hes been in !$ere many $ours# <ornelius is "one# 'n ol" leo%ar" "oesn! c$an&e i!s s%o!s#5 /$a.bo!

resume" $is accoun! o recen! $is!ory# n Marc$ 1D- 200L### <on&ress $el" close""oor mee!in&s rom

!$e %ublic or !$e our!$ !ime since !$e eclara!ion o In"e%en"ence in 1CCG# Remember Ma!! /!ubbs

men!ione" !$is in a&mar4 T$ere are more !$an a $un"re" !$ousan" w$i!e :ni!e" ?a!ions bo9cars- eac$

wi!$ a $un"re" an" !$ir!yive s$ackles# How can you call suc$ a mee!in& an" !ry !o swear everyone !o

silence in a coun!ry renowne" or s%eakin& reely4 <arl Aevin an" Jo$n Mc<ain %asse" !$a! ?'' in a



close""oor mee!in&>!$e socalle" ac! w$ic$ allows or in"eini!e "e!en!ion wi!$ou! !rial or c$ar&e# 'n"

%eo%le are su%%ose" !o =um% or =oy because Mark :"alls !ryin& !o !one i! "own a s$a"e45

"ello4 're you s!ill !$ere45 +ivians voice came !$rou&$ !$e walkie !alkie# <ornelius $as

inally s%oken# He $as we! $imsel an" is an&ry# He sai" $e" ra!$er "ie !$an !o c$an&e !$e way $e lives#5

/!a!ic soun"s an" unin!elli&ible wor"s came !$rou&$# "ello45 s$e aske" a&ain#

Hes a los! cause- +ivian#5 /$a.bo! s%oke !$rou&$ $is receiver# I $ave !o ask you a serious

*ues!ion# ;oul" you or&ive me i I s$o! le!c$er in !$e $ea"4 Im be&innin& !o believe !$a! i!s no! &oin&

!o work or any o us# o you wan! !o live your lie on !$e run4 I I le! <ornelius &o- $e will $un! you# ;e

bo!$ know !$a!#5

+ivian4 T$ese are no! ake rocks !$is !ime8 I believe were in !$e mi""le o 6!$e real "eal an"

/$a.bo! is more !$an willin& !o blow u% !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el ri&$! $ere- ri&$! now#5 le!c$er !rie" !o

!$ink o an answer# ?o!$in& seeme" ri&$!# I /$a.bo! was an ac!ual $uman- le!c$ woul" %unc$ $im an"

!$en !ry !o i&ure ou! $is "evice# He woul" !ell +ivian !o &e! ou! o !$e van an" ou! o !$e $o!el as as! as

%ossible# le!c$ "i" no! know w$a! !o make o !$e si!ua!ion# +iv4 Aeave <ornelius !ie" !o !$a! c$air an"come !o me# Ill !ry !o reason wi!$ /$a.bo!# ;e $ave un!il !$e mornin& i I can &e! $im !o "elay !$e !$ir!y

minu!e !imer#5

le!c$er4 <ornelius is cryin&#5 +ivian s!e%%e" ou! o !$e van an" s$u! !$e sli"in& "oor be$in"

$er# le!c$er4 Im on my way#5

Oh8 7ou really "i" i! !$is !ime85 /$a.bo! s!ar!e" !$e MR',s en&ine# 7ou $umans can! &e!

alon& wi!$ eac$ o!$er8 I "i"n! wan! i! !o come !o !$is85 /$a.bo! li%%e" a li" o%en on $is s%eciali.e"

"evice# He be&an !o %unc$ in numbers# He %u! !$e Russian an!imine ve$icle in reverse an" s%e" away

abou! i!y yar"s# He s!o%%e" !$en $i! a re" bu!!on on !$e !o%#

;$a! !$e uck are you "oin&48 /$a.bo!488 ;$a!s &oin& on45 le!c$er looke" !owar" !$e ,aul

Bunyan Ho!el an" wan!e" !o see +ivian run ou! !$rou&$ !$e "oors w$ere !$ey $a" &one in# Ins!ea"- $e

$ear" a lou" ban&#

le!c$er4 I!s no! !oo la!e# 7ou can run in !$ere an" "ie wi!$ your !rue love8 (o85 /$a.bo!

%us$e" a! le!c$#

le!c$er coul" see las$es# He looke" !o !$e "oors an" "i"n! see +ivian# He =um%e" ou! o !$e

ve$icle# 8/8/A1:::5 He ran !owar" !$e $o!el# By !$en- i! was !oo la!e# T$e buil"in& s!ar!e" !o come

"own a! ree all s%ee"# Wake up. This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare. Wake up# le!c$er wa!c$e"

!$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el colla%se !o !$e &roun"# We,re the heroes. We,re supposed to live. What,s going on0

8ivian0 Walk through the dust cloud. -lease.

/$a.bo! s!e%%e" ou!si"e# I $ave someone on !$e walkie !alkie# 7oull wan! !o $ear !$is#5

"ello4 Mis!er Browne4 My name is Herman Eic$elber&er- ?a!ional /ecuri!y '"minis!ra!ion#

;e $a" an### episode### wi!$ Mis!er /!uar!# He became a violen!ly uncon!rollable a&en!# His con!rac!- you

may see- wi!$ !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen! $as been !ermina!e"# ;$a! you $ave wi!nesse" is an acci"en!#

E9%losives %rema!urely "isc$ar&e"# T$a! is !$e oicial s!ory# ,lease "on! &rieve over your &irlrien" or



!oo lon&# I! $a" !o be !$is way#5 T$ere was s!a!ic#

/$a.bo! wai!e" or le!c$er !o res%on"# ury4 /obbin&4 He wai!e" or some!$in& bu! le!c$

only s!oo" an" s!are"# ;$i!e smoke s!ill "ance" in !$e air#

<an you !ake me back !o Toron!o45 le!c$er !urne" aroun" inally# r s$oo! me in !$e $ea"# I

"on! wan! !o run anymore# T$is is no! air#5

Aie is no! air-5 /$a.bo! sai"# +ivian4 I like" $er#5 /$a.bo! &o! back in!o !$e MR',# le!c$er

=oine" $im lielessly# I !$ink !$ey &ave you a robo! because no $uman can "o w$a! Im ca%able o# I !ell

you !$a! Im a! a $un"re" %ercen! ree will an" you believe me#5

;$y "i" I $ave !o lose my &irlrien"- /$a.bo!4 ;$a! is wron& wi!$ !$is %lane!4 I you "o

no!$in& a! all- you &e! s!om%e" on# I you s!an" u% !o !$e %owers!$a!be- you still get stomped on85

le!c$er crie"# ;as !$ere any c$ance s$e &o! ou! !$rou&$ a back "oor4 Tell me8 I know you know !$e

answer85

Herman Eic$elber&er rom !$e ?/' is somew$ere in !$is ci!y### bu! I "on! know w$ere# 7our

&irlrien"- in all likeli$oo" is "ea"# /orry !o !ell you#5 /$a.bo! "rove !o !$e Black Hawk# I can &ive you a %is!ol !o s$oo! your brains ou!### or you can &e! insi"e !$e $elico%!er wi!$ me#5 le!c$er Browne "i"n! say

a wor"# He ollowe" /$a.bo! in!o !$e co%!er an" !$ey $ea"e" !o a&mar#

I! was !$e 7ourth of =uly# ' cou%le o mon!$s $a" %asse" since !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el was

"emolis$e"# le!c$er Browne wore a "ecora!e" 'rmy uniorm even !$ou&$ $e $a" never serve" in !$e

mili!ary# His ace was cleanly s$aven an" $is $air was bu!c$ere" "own !o a crew cu!# He %ace" insi"e a

lar&e ware$ouse in n!ario- <aliornia# 7our ron! yar" is a ba!!leiel"-5 $e sai"# Make no mis!ake abou!

i!85 Bren! Hoover- Ramon Jo$anson an" T$a""eus /!ree!s sa! on milk cra!es in ron! o $im# I you

believe we are sae because were in one o 'mericas ran"om suburbs- you are wron&85

Tell us a&ain $ow my aun! was ab"uc!e"# :ncle le!c$4 Tell us $ow !$e Russians nabbe" $er

w$en you le! us in Toron!o#5 Ta"s =eans were soile" rom $eavy work# He !oye" wi!$ a bran" new silver

$ammer# He reac$e" in!o $is workmans %ouc$ an" i""le" wi!$ nails#

7es8 7our aun!8 +ivian> the love of my life >was insi"e a li*uor s!ore# /$e wan!e" !o s!o% or

wa!er an" %as!ries bu! I was "ea" !ire" an" s!aye" in !$e Jee% !o res!# I no!ice a cou%le o !$ese lar&e MR',

ve$icles an" my senses become acu!e# What are 3ussian anti$mine trucks doing in Toronto0 I aler! /$a.

bu! i!s !oo la!e# T$ey !ar&e!e" $er# T$ey wan!e" $er or some reason#5 le!c$er Browne walke" %as! !$e

boys an" calle" or Ma!! /!ubbs# He was a! !$e ar en" o !$e ware$ouse ins%ec!in& &as %i%es# Ma!!4 're

you almos! "one45

Ma!! !ro!!e" !owar" !$e &rou%# T$a!s &rea! work- &uys8 I!s be!!er work !$an w$a! I was "oin&

w$en I s!ar!e"#5

;$a! are !$e urnaces or45 Ramon aske"# T$ose are big rickin urnaces85

urnaces4 Ae! me inis$ !$e s!ory abou! Ta"s aun!ie- my "ear love### 8ivian 'treets#5 le!c$er

be&an !o %ace a&ain# /$e was workin& or !$e Russians- i! !urns ou!# T$a!s w$y !$ey knew e9ac!ly w$en

an" w$ere !o !ake $er# Ever since $i&$ sc$ool- I won"ere" abou! $er !ri%s away rom me# /$e was a "ouble



a&en!- &uys# /$e was ba" news or our &overnmen!### bu! I s!ill miss $er#5

;ere &oin& !o save $er !$ou&$- ri&$!4 :ncle le!c$4 ;ere &oin& !o "ro% in!o Moscow an" in"

$er8 Ri&$!4 I can! be wi!$ou! my aun!8 /$e was like a mom !o me85 Ta" ou&$! o !ears# Im sorry or

losin& my com%osure bu! I "on! know $ow lon& I can &o wi!$ !$is training - w$a!ever i! is#5

Trainin&4 7es# Trainin&8 7ou will be %ai" $an"somely# ?o nee" !o &o back !o sc$ool# T$is

area is ull o em%!y ware$ouses or lease# ;e are &oin& !o mo"iy !en %ercen! o !$em# 4our front yard is

a battlefield # I can! !ell you !$a! enou&$# im Jon&un is ou! !$ere !ryin& !o s$oo! a! Aos 'n&eles# ;$a! i

$e succee"s a! even &e!!in& close4 ass hysteria# ;e nee" %laces or ci!i.ens !o &o8 Everyones &onna be

runnin& ba! s$i! away rom !$e coas!# T$ese %laces4 T$is is w$ere !$eyll win" u% i###5

're !$ese concen!ra!ion cam%s45 Bren! Hoover s!oo" u%# ;e worke" a! a 'taples ware$ouse

no! ar rom $ere# ;$ere are !$e racks or i!ems4 ;e "i"n! $ave a $ea!in& sys!em# ;$a! are !$ose

urnaces or45

<oncen!ra!ion cam%s4 T$a!s harsh- Bren!#5 Ma!! /!ubbs oere" $is !wo cen!s# T$ese are

en$ance" mo"iie" "e!en!ion acili!ies8 E7s: <u!e name- $u$45o I look like Hi!ler !o you45 le!c$er Browne s!o%%e" %acin&# T$is is !$e :ni!e" /!a!es o

'merica8 ;e $ave freedom8 Bu!4 ;e- as a &overnmen!- mus! ensure !$a! "omes!ic !ran*uili!y is

&uaran!ee" or &enera!ions !o come#5

7ouve c$an&e"- man#5 Bren! sa! "own a&ain# 7ou were fighting !$is !$in&85

i&$!in&4 ?o! e9ac!ly !$e wor" I" use# ocumenting - yes# 'n" Ta"s aun!45 le!c$er wis$e"

!$ere was an&er in $is belly# He !$ou&$! i! woul" mo!iva!e !$e &uys# ;$en your lie %ar!ner is !aken rom

you- i! c$an&es !$e e*ua!ion# T$ese !$in&s are &oin& !o be $ere wi!$ or wi!$ou! you# T$eyll be $ere wi!$

or wi!$ou! me- or !$a! ma!!er# 7ou see- Bren!4 In lie- you &e! !o c$oose i youre a winner or loser# ;$y

be on !$e losin& si"e4 ;e coul"ve ke%! runnin& rom /$a.bo!### an" <ornelius /!uar!### bu! !$a!s no! w$o

we are8 ;e are winners85

&ornelius 'tuart0 ;$a! $a%%ene" !o $im45 Ramon Jo$anson aske"#

<ornelius was %u! on assi&nmen!-5 Ma!! /!ubbs sai"# ;e won! be seein& $im or a w$ile#5

4es85 le!c$er a&ree"# 'ssi&nmen!8 I like your c$oice o wor"s- Ma!!# 7ou are becomin& more

elo*uen! as !$e "ays %ass#5

/o $ow many more o !$ese =obs "o we $ave4 :ncle le!c$45 Ta" !wirle" $is $ammer like i!

was a "rum s!ick#

7ou are workin& in defense- now# I am !akin& !$e %osi!ion !$a! <ornelius /!uar! $a" in !$e <I'#

7ou can! be !ellin& everyone "e!ails abou! w$a! we "o $ere# Ma!!4 He worke" or a man name" Tom

Mcay# Ma!! $as !aken $is %osi!ion as a su%ervisor o clan"es!ine cons!ruc!ion %ro=ec!s# ;ell %rovi"e

$o!"o&s or you w$en you &e! !o work# Mos! o !$e !ime- i!ll be s!rai&$! ei&$!$our "ays# ;$en were

"one !o"ay- well "rive s!rai&$! !o !$e beac$8 Hows !$a!45 le!c$er $el" $is $an" be$in" $is back an"

%ace" a&ain# My rien"- E""ie <ally%so is wai!in& or us ou! !$ere in Hun!in&!on8 ;ell barbe*ue#

7oure aun! woul"ve wan!e" i! !$is way#5



7ou were %lannin& !$is beac$ !ri% since Marc$# I remember $er !alkin& abou! i!#5 Ta" oere" $is

$an" !o Ramon an" %ulle" $im u%# Ae!s &e! back !o work8 I wan! !o $i! !$e beac$85

I you inis$ your work early- well $ea" ou! an" be !$ere beore !$e /un se!s85 le!c$er s!o%%e"

an" rubbe" $is $an" !$rou&$ $is s$or!- s!alky $air# Hurry- &uys### bu! "on! cu! corners# T$ose %i%es $ave

!o i! %recise s%ecs#5 le!c$er cla%%e" a ew !imes an" !$e ki"s scurrie" !o work#

8ivian0 / think /,m cumming inside of my jeans. (et off of me. /t,s gonna be embarrassing.

le!c$er Browne "rove "own !$e Ten reeway# He was !$inkin& abou! Aolla%aloo.a in 1FFC# le!c$ was

kissin& +ivian on !$e lawn a! !$e Irvine Mea"ows 'm%$i!$ea!re# Tool was %erormin& on s!a&e# 'top

rubbing me: At least stop rubbing me# le!c$er remembere" kissin& +iv# We have our whole lives for this.

Ma!! /!ubbs ro"e in !$e %assen&ers sea! o le!c$s Hummer# T$e !$ree ki"s were in !$e back

sea!#

/,m so horny. / think / have a contact high from all the weed going around # le!c$er remembere"

w$a! $e wen! !$rou&$ as a !eena&er# 6et,s leave and do it in the car # le!c$ "rove alon& an" &uar"e" $is

!$ou&$!s# 'he,s gone. aybe she got out of that building... but / think she,s really gone.o you !$ink youll in" love a&ain45 Ma!! aske"#

le!c$er sna%%e" ou! o $is s%ell# Ma!!4 Isn! !$a! an awkwar" *ues!ion4 ;e mi&$! s!ill in"

$er#5

$#5 Ma!!s eyes rolle"# 7es# ;ere &onna in" $er#5

I mi&$! s!ar! "a!in& a&ain-5 le!c$er sai"# I s$es &one or a year### or i we &e! surveillance "a!a

!$a! s$ows s$es move" on w$ile in Russia#5

3ussia45 Ma!! looke" a! le!c$er# I !$ink !$ey can $an"le i!#5

le!c$er Browne !urne" "own !$e ra"io# T$ey were &roovin& !o easy listening # @uys4 I $ave

news or you### bu! i!ll wai! un!il we &e! !o !$e beac$ an" weve $a" a ew col" brews in our s!omac$s85

I!s abou! my aun!- isn! i!45 Ta" aske"# /$e wasn! !aken by Russians- was s$e45

/$a.bo! blew $er u%#5 le!c$er looke" in!o $is rearview mirror or a reac!ion# I !$ink i!

mi&$!ve been an acci"en!# Im no! sure $e %lanne" i! !$e way i! !urne" ou!# <ornelius /!uar! was !ie"

insi"e a $o!el an"###5

7uckin, '"/T 85 Ramon Jo$anson sla%%e" $is own knee# 7ou &uys are !ruly nu!s85

;ell4 T$ere ya $ave i!85 le!c$er "rove alon& an" "i"n! say any!$in& else un!il !$ey reac$e" a

beac$ $ouse E""ie <ally%so ren!e"# 're you &uys s!ill in45 le!c$er aske" u%on !$eir arrival#

In4 ;$a! !$e uck else are we &onna "o45 Ta" was ma" bu! $e was also relieve"# I! coul" be

worse- :ncle le!c$# ;e coul" s!ill be on !$e run# Ins!ea"- were $ere a! !$e beac$85

Ae!s &o insi"e- "u"es85 le!c$er Browne saw E""ie <ally%so walk aroun" !$e si"e walkway#

le!c$ $u&&e" E""ie wi!$ one arm>a bro $u&5# Is everyone $ere45

7es- everyones $ere8 T$e mi"&e!# /$a.bo! an" ina$# Tom Mcay# T$eres a ew locals !$a!

youll like#5 E""ie $an"e" a Rollin& Rock !o le!c$# T$eres more on !$e %a!io- &uys8 Hel% yourselves8

nly &o insi"e or res!room s!o%s85 T$e ki"s scoo!e" alon& !$e $ouses si"e %a!$# E""ie aske" le!c$- Is



+ivian really in Russian $an"s4 I "on! believe !$a! or a secon"#5

+ivian45 le!c$er scra!c$e" $is $ea" an" walke" wi!$ E""ie !owar" !$e back o !$e $ouse w$ere

!$e %a!io me! beac$ san"# +iv4 /$es "ea"# Im almos! sure s$es "ea"# I "i"n! wan! !o raise alarms#5

$8 ;ell- I &uess !$a! c$an&es !$e !one $ere a bi!### bu!### c,est la vie8 Aie &oes on- $u$45 E""ie

!oas!e" le!c$er# I!s &oo" !o be alive- isn! i!45

;a!er un"er !$e bri"&e#5 le!c$ "rank $is beer# Aie "oes move on85

Aie moves on45 E""ie <ally%so s!o%%e" in $is !racks an" $e %u! $is non"rinkin& $an" on

le!c$er Brownes s$oul"er# Aie moves on45 $e aske" a&ain# He swi&&e" $is bo!!le o Rollin& Rock#

Aie moves on45 $e aske" a !$ir" !ime# Hun!in&!on Beac$ was a &rea! %lace !o be on !$e our!$ o July#

T$e a!mos%$ere was es!ive or miles in all "irec!ions# I! was nice !o be a! a beac$ $ouse %ar!y an" i! was

&oo" !o be alive# E""ie looke" a! le!c$er an" knew !$a! losin& !$e love o $is lie was crus$in&# le!c$er

Browne %u! on !$e bes! ace $e coul" bu! $e was bein& ea!en insi"e wi!$ bi!!er emo!ions# 7es- le!c$er8

Aie moves on85 inally- E""ie <ally%so en"e" !$e r$e!orical line# I $ave a sur%rise or you8 7oure

&oin& !o =um% u% an" "own or !$is one85le!c$er was s!an"in& ne9! !o E""ie alon& !$e si"e %a!$ o a !$rees!ory ren!al# He coul" $ear !$e

res! o !$e &an& aroun" !$e corner c$i!c$a!!in& on !$e %a!io# He looke" ou! !o !$e cras$in& waves an"

a"mire" !$em un"er !$e crescen! Moon# Boa!s an" yac$!s "ri!e" !o an" ro# le!c$ers $ear! yearne" !o be

on !$e ocean# He wa!c$e" "ark sil$oue!!es o lovers in !$e "is!ance# T$e /un was more !$an $alway un"er

!$e $ori.on an" !$ere was a mys!ery ou! !$ere# He blocke" ou! !$e nu!!y !$in&s o !$e %as! ew mon!$s an"

became an9ious abou! w$a! !$e sur%rise mi&$! be# He looke" a! E""ie an" sai"- Im no! sure any!$in& can

$el% me ri&$! now# I! be!!er be &oo"#5

E""ie <ally%so %oin!e" !owar" a lie &uar" !ower# T$a! is w$ere %riva!e beac$ mee!s %ublic

beac$# Take a close look- !$ou&$# Tell me i you see any!$in& ou!o!$e or"inary#5 ' ew ireworks

e9%lo"e" near !$e boa!s# 4ellow# purple and red #

Be$in" !$e lie &uar" !ower- le!c$er coul" see w$a! seeme" !o be a &ian! $orse# He rubbe" $is

eyes# Ive &o!!a !ell you !$e !ru!$# Im no! in !$e moo" !o be yanke" aroun" ri&$! now#5 More ireworks

e9%lo"e" an" $e coul" see un"er !$a! li&$!in& !$a! !$e $orse was "ecora!e" in %a%er mQc$# 3ed# white and

blue# Is !$a! a###4 Is !$a!###4 That,s a Trojan horse85

Bin&o85 E""ie <ally%so inis$e" $is beer# 7a wan! !o know w$a!s insi"e45

I i!s a s!ri%%er### i!s !oo early or !$a!# I s!ill "ream o +iv# I! be!!er be some!$in& like a loa" o

&ummy bears85 le!c$er be&an walkin& a&ain# He %asse" !$e &rou% %ar!yin& on !$e %a!io an" &ave !$em a

nonc$alan! wave#

E""ie ollowe" be$in" le!c$er an"- w$en $is ee! !ouc$e" !$e so! beac$ san"- $e calle" !o

/$a.bo!- Tell everyone were rea"y or !$e sur%rise85 In momen!s a crow" o abou! i!een %eo%le were

!railin& be$in" le!c$er an" E""ie# 7oure &onna like !$isle!c$85

T$e &rou% reac$e" !$e lie &uar" !ower# Ta" /!ree!s- Ramon Jo$anson an" Bren! Hoover climbe"

u% an" be&an !akin& las$ %$o!os o !$e $orse in ron! o !$em# T$ey !ook %ic!ures o !$e ireworks in !$e



sky- !$ey !ook selies- an" ca%!ure" !$e &rou% aroun" !$em# ina$ walke" u% !o le!c$er an" aske"- How

"o you like bein& in !$e <I'45

le!c$er "ismisse" ina$# He !urne" !o E""ie- <an we &e! on wi!$ !$is4 My s!omac$ is kno!!e"

in nerves#5

/$a.bo! brou&$! a bu&le# A1T dah AAA"""" # T$e Tro=an $orse looke" like a $umon&ous

%ia!a# I a sa""le was %lace" on i!s back- i!" be !welve ee! above !$e &roun"# T$e eyes looke" like !$ey

were li!erally c$unks o c$arcoal# ' $a!c$ o%ene" rom !$e belly# A1T A""".. . AAAAAAA""""" #

/$a.bo! blew rom !$e bu&le once more#

le!c$er reali.e" w$a! was &oin& on# He reco&ni.e" !$e ankles an" !ears s!ar!e" !o s!ream "own

$is c$eeks# T$e $a!c$ %rovi"e" a cru"e s!aircase an" le!c$ wa!c$e" slen"er le&s on $i&$ $eels make !$eir

way "own# +ivian85 le!c$er s!oo" in %lace un!il !$e s$ock was &one an" $e was a $un"re" %ercen!

%osi!ive i! was $er# ;$en !$e $eels s!e%%e" rom !$e $a!c$ !o !$e san"- $e coul" see $er u%%er !orso# Time

seeme" !o ree.e# I! was only a ew s%li! secon"s bu! i! el! like an e!erni!y# 8ivian0 "ow can this be0

When will this insanity end0 This better not be an android: This better not be another frickin, android: /$e $a" !o "uck "own !o &e! un"ernea!$ !$e $orses belly# /$e smile"# /t is 8ivian: le!c$er Browne

scurrie" !o $er an" $el" $er# How can !$is be45

T$ey were ake rocks a&ain- le!c$er85 +ivian $el" le!c$er back# My "a" is one o !$e $i&$er

rankin& members o !$e <en!ral In!elli&ence '&ency# I knew I" wan! !o !ell you even!ually#5

le!c$er looke" back a! !$e crow" be$in" $im# T$ey s!ar!e" a slow cla% w$ic$ became as!er an"

lou"er# Tom Mcays beer was a! $is ee! an" i! was mos!ly ull# le!c$er &rabbe" !$e beer an" %oun"e" i!

wi!$ou! s!o%%in&# ;$en $e was "one- $e !osse" !$e bo!!le "own an" ran !o !$e %a!io# T$e &rou% s!aye"

be$in" collec!ively conuse"# le!c$er !ro!!e" back wi!$ a ew beers an" %asse" !$em alon&# Im !akin&

three o !$ese an" Im &oin& !o $ave a lon&- %riva!e conversa!ion wi!$ my love- +ivian85 He s!ue" a beer

in eac$ %ocke!- %o%%e" !$e !$ir" an" be&an !o "rink# He !ook +iv by !$e $an" an" %ulle" $er away rom

everyone else an" s!ar!e" !o walk alon& !$e su"s o sal! wa!er# +ivian /!ree!s8 I !$ou&$! abou! s$oo!in&

mysel w$en I !$ou&$! you were crus$e" insi"e !$a! buil"in&8 /$a.bo! oere" me a %is!ol an" I !$ou&$!

abou! usin& i!85

He wasn! &oin& !o &ive i! !o you# He wan!e" you !o !$ink you $a" con!rol# He wan!e" you !o

!$ink you $a" a choice# 7ou woul"ve never cu! your $air# 7ou woul"ve never &rown u%8 ;e weren!

&oin& !o c$an&e an" we weren! &oin& !o &e! marrie"85 +ivian reac$e" in!o le!c$ers le! %ocke! or one o

!$e beers# T$ese bo!!les are ille&al on !$e %ublic beac$es- you know45

;$a! $a%%ene"- +iv4 ;as !$e w$ole !$in& a se! u%4 Is <ornelius s!ill alive4 ;$a! !$e uck was

I %u!!in& urnaces in ware$ouses or45 le!c$er el! like a cra.y %erson#

I was no! in on i!- believe i! or no!#5 +ivian sna%%e" o%en $er Rollin& Rock an" "rank#

<ornelius /!uar! is "ea"# Herman Eic$elber&er $a" some!$in& a&ains! $im# I !$ink <ornelius really mean!

!o "o us in ne9! year a! <an"les!ick ,ark# I was wi!$ $im w$en $e ra"ioe" you# &ornelius 'tuarts, contract

with the 5nited 'tates has been terminated # Remember !$a!4 "erman Eichelberger from the 1ational



'ecurity Administration#5

?/'4 I! s!an"s or ?a!ional /ecuri!y '&ency> not Administration#5 le!c$er Browne was

s!ar!in& !o clam "own#

T$a!s no! w$a! $e sai"- !$ou&$# Ive been over !$e !ranscri%!s an"### Ais!en### T$e &uy was a

bun"le o nerves bu! i! was his &uys !$a! &o! me ou! on !ime# T$ey !ook me !o Bri!is$ <olumbia an" I

s!aye" a! !$e +ancouver <lub on ;es! Has!in&s /!ree!# T$is %lace was !$e cen!er o $o! "eba!e because

c$il"ren were !aken !$ere "urin& !$e nine!ies in w$a! seeme" !o be a se9 rin& o sor!s# They,d wind up

missing# possibly murdered# and local judges were implicated # ick <$eney- some$ow or ano!$er- was

involve" in !$is an" $as been accuse" o bein& a %e"o%$ile# T$a!s no! !$e im%or!an! %ar!- !$ou&$# I !$ink

Im closer !o un"ers!an"in& nine eleven# 'll in"ica!ions %oin! !o !$e ossad # ollow !$e money- ri&$!4

T$e "ay beore nine eleven- Rumsel" !ells %eo%le !$a! !$e ,en!a&on is missin& !wo %oin! !$ree trillion

"ollars# /we%! un"er !$e ru&- !$ou&$# T$ere was a !rillion "ollars o %$ysical &ol" in !$e Towers an" !$ere

were eye wi!nesses !$a! saw van u%on van !akin& cra% ou! on !$e "ay o !$e a!!acks#5

7our "a" is in !$e <I'4 7ou sure4 I !$ou&$! some!$in& was u%### bu!###5 le!c$er s!o%%e"walkin& an" sa! on !$e beac$# ' wave a%%roac$e" $is ee! an" $e was &la" !o be in Hun!in&!on#

My "a"4 7es# He visi!e" me in +ancouver an" !ol" me !$a! i!s all &oin& "own8 n /e%!ember

nin!$ o !$is year- !$eres &onna be a marc$ by %eace oicers in < bu! !$a!s only a "iversion or w$a!s

really &oin& on# T$e $y%e on !$e in!erne! is !$a! !$erell be a &un ba!!le be!ween !$ese %eace oicers an"

$ire" Russian !roo%s#5 +iv sa! be$in" le!c$ an" rubbe" $is neck#

T$ere were %u! o%!ions on 'merican 'irlines an" :ni!e" in !$e "ays beore nine eleven# Is !$is

all !ie" in45 le!c$er reac$e" in!o $is ri&$! %ocke! or !$e las! beer#

n !$e surace- moneys %ar! o i!# 3evenge# I !$ink many o !$ese &uys are in i! !o s!ick i! !o

%eo%le !$ey $a!e# &ui bono# ;$o $as benei!e" rom !$e nine eleven a!!acks4 ;$o $a" !$e resources !o

&e! i! "one4 My "a" sai" !$a! of course !$e <I' $a" !$e means bu! !$e mo!ive wasn! ully !$ere# T$e

Mossa"- on !$e o!$er $a"- con!rolle" securi!y a! !$e Towers an" air%or!s# 'riel /$aron was !rie" as a war

criminal or !$e /abra an" /$a!ila massacres in Beiru! rom back in !$e ei&$!ies# I!s "atfields and c&oys

on a &lobal level# T$e ;as$in&!on ,os! $a" =us! re%or!e" !$a! !$e Mossa" $a" w$a! i! !ook !o wa&e lar&e

scale !error and !$e abili!y !o blame !$eir enemies in !$e %rocess# o you know w$o Tim sman is45

Tim sman4 i" $e &ra"ua!e wi!$ us4 Rin&s a bell I !$ink#5 le!c$er !urne" aroun" !owar" +iv

an" wai!e" or an answer# ;$o is $e45

sama bin Aa"en# <I' asse!- Osama bin 6aden85 +ivian reac$e" !o le!c$ers ears an" %ulle"

$im close !o $er# T$ey li&$!ly conke" ore$ea"s# sama bin Aa"en !oure" mili!ary bases as Tim sman

an" some !$ink $e was insi"e o our ;$i!e$ouse#5

<an we !alk abou! some!$in& else- +iv4 I love you an" I wan! !o know more# I !$ou&$! you were

"ea"- !$ou&$# 7ou come back in !$a! Tro=an $orse an"### Im =us! bea! u% insi"e# I nee" a break# Ae!s

walk an" look a! !$e ireworks# kay45

7ou &o! i!- sir85 +ivian s!oo" u% an" $el" le!c$ a! !$e wais! w$en $e =oine" $er# T$is is a &oo"



ni&$!# I "on! look orwar" !o !$e !raic- !$ou&$#5 T$ey kisse" !$en s!rolle" alon&# ' $al $our %asse" an"

!$ey $a" no "esire w$a!soever !o re!urn !o !$e %ar!y !$ey" come rom# T$ey oun" !$emselves a! !$e

'horebreak "otel an" !alkin& un"ernea!$ be" covers#

+ivian an" le!c$er were snoo.in& =us! beore mi"ni&$! on !$e our!$ o July w$en Ma!!$ew

/!ubbs was ar away in a "runk- $ea!e" ar&umen! wi!$ $is ormer boss- Tom Mcay# I "on! know w$y

we $ave !o &o abou! like weirdos8 ;$y "i" you $ave !o &e! a %ink bunny !o bea! me u%4 ;$y "i" I eel

!$e nee" !o re!alia!e wi!$ /$a.bo!s assis!ance in lori"a4 'ren! we su%%ose" !o be i&$!in& 'l Kae"a45

'l Kae"a4 ;$a!re you4 'tupid 4 o you even know w$a! 'l Kae"a means4 Toilet 8 T$a!s !$e

li!eral !ransla!ion an" !$e &rou% i!sel was crea!e" as a <I' concoc!ion8 7ou $ave a lo! !o learn- c$il"85

Tom a"mire" ina$ "ancin& !o "isco music on !$e %a!io# /$es a robo!4 I !$ink I $ave my beer &o&&les

on85

:ni!e" you s!an"8 ivi"e" you all85 Ma!! looke" over a! ina$ an" !rie" !o see any!$in& se9y

in $er# 1othing - $e !$ou&$!# 'he does nothing for me# ;e are a mess an" we s$oul"n! be i&$!in& eac$

o!$er# T$a!s all Im !ryin& !o say#5Ais!en- boy# In !en or !wen!y years- youre &oin& !o become like me# 7oure &oin& !o la!c$ on!o a

&rou% o %eo%le an" !$eres no! &oin& !o be any!$in& wron& wi!$ !$em in your eyes# Take ,aris Jackson- or

e9am%le# /$e was =us! a"mi!!e" !o a %syc$ia!ric acili!y# I $a%%en !o know !$a! someone !oni&$! is &oin& !o

s%ike your "rink wi!$ "ru&s an" youre &oin& !o be "um%e" o near <e"ars /inai beore sunrise !omorrow#

T$ey wan! intel on $er# ;$y4 I "on! know# Is i! !$e 'E@ lawsui!4 I "on! know# T$eyre &oin& !o say

youre cra.y- !$ou&$- an" !$eyre &oin& !o !ry !o %u! you in !$e same !$era%y &rou%s wi!$ $er# Aa!er !$is

mon!$- +ans is s%onsorin& a sur com%e!i!ion# ;ere &oin& !o be !$ere !o inci!e a rio! an" i!s &oin& !o be

blame" on eis!y youn& !ouris!s#5 Tom w$is!le" a! ina$# /$ake !$a! !$in&- &irl85

T$eyre &oin& !o sen" me on an involun!ary $ol"45 Ma!! looke" in!o $is cock!ail &lass# Mos! o

$is s!rawberry "ai*uiri was &one# ;$en "o I &e! !o c$oose w$a! assi&nmen! I &o !$rou&$4 Im s!ar!in& !o

eel woo.y# i" you###45

Ma!! s!ar!e" !o no" o# /$a.bo! le! !$e "ance area an" $el" Ma!!s c$in u%# He looke" in!o $is

eyes# I!s or your own &oo"- Ma!!# Ri&$! now- 'man"a Bynes is all over !$e ma%# 'he,s wigging out

publicly# ;$en s$e lies !o coo%- were &oin& !o !ry !o &e! you in wi!$ $er as well# T$is is in!el !$a! no

%a%ara..i coul" ever &e! on !$e s!ree!s#5

Ma!! ell o $is c$air an" be&an !o snore# Tom an" /$a.bo! li!e" $im u% an" !ook $im !o an

unmarke" <I' van# T$ey were near !$e $ear! o Aos 'n&eles in !$e mi""le o !$e ni&$! w$en Ma!!

re&aine" some consciousness# ;$ere am I4 ;$o !ook my clo!$es45

I youre seein& s%arkles- i!s because we %u! lyser&ic aci" "ie!$ylami"e !wen!yive in your

boo.e# o you know !$e !$ree mo"es o %ersuasion- Ma!!45 Tom "rove alon&# /$a.bo! sa! in !$e

%assen&ers sea!#

T$ree mo"es o %ersuasion4 'ris!o!le# ;e covere" !$is a! !$e Beec$ @rove acili!y#5 Ma!!

/!ubbs wan!e" !o be an&ry because i! was $a%%enin& a&ain# He was bein& $el" a&ains! $is will# He was



&oin& !o be $umilia!e"# /ome$ow- !$ou&$- !$ese s!ran&e occurrences ma"e $im eel like $is lie $a"

consi"erable meanin&# E!$os- %a!$os- lo&os#5

o you know w$a! runs !$e worl" ri&$! now45 Tom was s!o%%e" a! a re" li&$! an" !urne" aroun"

!o c$eck on Ma!!# Ri&$! now- nobody cares abou! w$a!s wri!!en# T$a! woul" be lo&os# ?o law ma!!ers#

?o speech ma!!ers# T$e <ons!i!u!ion "oesn! ma!!er an" !$e %a%er currency in our walle!s is be&innin& !o

ma!!er less !$an i! ever $as#5

;ere in %a!$os- sir#5 Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was ma" a! $imsel or a""ressin& Tom Mcay as sir5#

He "i"n! like Tom as a %erson an" !$ou&$! !$a! Tom woul" never mess wi!$ $im a&ain a!er /$a.bo!

$el%e" $im &e! !em%orary reven&e# <ornelius is "ea"# Ri&$! Tom4 /$a.bo!4 7ou $aven! sai" any!$in&#

'ay something # I saw +ivian alive earlier# <ornelius mi&$! be###5

Hes "ea"- Ma!!-5 /$a.bo! sai"# <ornelius $a" a sickness !$a! none o us $as# ;e roo! or eac$

o!$er- you know4 <ornelius was a le&en" in $is own min"### w$ic$ is okay as lon& as you "on! !ruly mean

!o kill %eo%le w$o are on your !eam#5

Tom45 Ma!! aske"# 7oure &e!!in& reven&e on me- aren! you4 ;$en <ornelius was alive- $econ"one" /$a.bo! %ro!ec!in& me8 T$is is no! ri&$!85

<alm "own- ki"85 Tom %ulle" over !o a curb# (et out 85

;$a!4 ;$a!s !$e %lan4 Isn! !$ere a %lan45 Ma!! e9i!e" !$e van wearin& only ball$u&&in&

Hanes un"erwear#

I call !$e co%s- I call !$e $i&$u%s in !$e '&ency- an" you =us! be yoursel# Tell !$em youre in !$e

<I' i ya wan!8 T$ey love !$a!8 Tell 6em youre Jesus or some!$in&8 Make i! u%85 Tom s%e" away#

+ivian /!ree!s woke u% a! "aybreak an" wa!c$e" le!c$er Browne snore or a ew momen!s# /$e

s$ook $im a! $is !ummy# @e! u%#5

"uh45 le!c$er came !o consciousness# He rubbe" $is eyes#

T$is mi&$! be !$e las! our!$ o July we celebra!e !o&e!$er# I mean- i! mi&$! be !$e las! one

coun!e" as /ndependence ay# T$e eclara!ion o In"e%en"ence was si&ne" in 1CCG# elaware was !$e

irs! s!a!e !o ra!iy !$e <ons!i!u!ion in 1CLF# o !$e ma!$# How many years %asse"45

le!c$ers %alms were rubbin& $is ace# Isn! i! !oo early or ma!$4 Thirteen# T$ir!een years#5

How many years $ave %asse" since nine eleven45 +ivian walke" !o !$e $o!els res!room an"

re!urne" wi!$ a %a%er cu% o wa!er# /%las$ some o !$is on your ace#5

Twelve years since nine eleven# T$e %oin!45 le!c$er !ook !$e cu% an" "ouse" $is ore$ea"#

T$e economy is &onna colla%se any !ime now# ;e are sellin& bon"s !$a!re barely %ayin& !$e

in!eres! on %rior bon"s# ur "eb!s in an e9%onen!ial rise an" i!s no! sus!ainable# /ome say !$e ?or!$

'merican :nion is comin&- maybe ne9! year#5 +ivian reac$e" in!o $er %urse a! !$e oo! o !$e be"# I $ave

!$is#5 /$e $an"e" le!c$er !$ree ol"e" s$ee!s# I el! cra.y w$en I irs! rea" i! an" I "i"n! wan! i! !o ruin

our irs! momen!s !o&e!$er las! ni&$!#5

1orth American Oligarchy4 ;$a! is !$is4 T$e ?' re%laces !$e :/'45 le!c$er se! !$e %a%ers

on !$e be" !$en wen! !o !$e res!room# He s%las$e" more wa!er on $is ace !$en re!urne"# Ive seen all



kin"s o cons%iracy s!u over !$e %as! ew years# ;$a!s "ieren! abou! !$is45

i"s very well mi&$! con!inue !o learn abou! !$e <ons!i!u!ion in %ublic sc$ools or years !o come#

;$en I was in +ancouver- my "a" &ave me !$ose %a%ers or %ra&ma!ic reasons# T$is is !$e worl" we live in

now# or anyone clan"es!ine or eli!e### !$is is w$a! !$e worl" $as become# T$e eclara!ion o

In"e%en"ence sen! a messa&e !o Euro%e abou! w$a! were not >no lon&er un"er Bri!is$ rule# I! !ook

!$ir!een years !o ormali.e w$a! we became# n nine eleven- !$e 3ogues >!$e %owerul- $i""en oli&arc$s

sen! !$e same messa&e# emocracy an" 6we !$e %eo%le no lon&er ma!!er# T$is45 /$e %icke" u% !$e %a%ers

rom !$e be"# I!s like a new <ons!i!u!ion# I!s su%%ose" !o warn %eo%le like Reece ;i!$ers%oon !o kee%

*uie! w$en en&a&e" wi!$ law enorcemen!### because !$e ol" rules "on! ma!!er# /t,s an oligarchy#5

I! soun"s "umb### bu! I was workin& earlier !$is year %$o!o&ra%$in& !$a! "ea!$ cam% in In"iana#

T$a! soun"s "umb- !oo#5 le!c$er sa! ne9! !o +ivian on !$e be"# He $el" $er $an"- I cu! my $air# Im no!

an&ry a! !$e mac$ine anymore#5 le!c$er wa!c$e" !ears orm in +ivs eyes# I "on! !$ink we $ave !o

worry as muc$#5

I!s =us! like I !$ou&$! i! was# ;e &e! ol" an" we s!o% carin&#5 +ivian release" $er $an" romle!c$s# /$e ri%%e" !$e %a%ers in $al# I! soun"s s!u%i"#5 /$e %ulle" $er i,$one ou! rom $er %urse an"

wen! !o $er %$o!os# T$is is !$e new la&#5 T$e un"ernea!$ $al was &reen- w$i!e an" re" like Me9icos

la&# In !$e cen!er- a ma%le lea re%lace" !$e vul!ure on !$e cac!us wi!$ a snake# T$e u%%er le! "is%laye" a

blue iel" wi!$ w$i!e s!ars an" !$e u%%er ri&$! "is%laye" re" an" w$i!e s!ri%es# T$is is !$e su%er corri"or

ri%%in& !$rou&$ 'mericas $ear!lan"#5 /$e swi%e" !$e la& %$o!o an" s$owe" le!c$ a ma% o ?or!$

'merica wi!$ an e9a&&era!e" arrow %oin!in& rom Me9ico !$rou&$ ansas !owar" <ana"a# I!s comin&-

le!c$### an" maybe we s$oul" embrace i!# Ill miss 'merica in !$e !ra"i!ional way !$a! i!s been#5

;$en you wen! !o slee% las! ni&$!- I wa!c$e" some news in !$e mi""le o !$e ni&$!# T$ere were

ma=or ireworks acci"en!s in /emi +alley an" Aa&una ?i&el# i"s can! %lay wi!$ s%arklers or !$eyll &o !o

=ail so some$ow were su%%ose" !o celebra!e in !$ese %ublic &a!$erin&s# T$ese ireworks in /emi +alley

were s$oo!in& a! !$e crow"8 Hows !$a! or irony an" sae!y45 le!c$ers s$or!s an" s$ir! were on !$e loor#

He %icke" !$em u% an" s!ar!e" !o "ress#

Im in "enial- you know45 +ivian wa!c$e" le!c$ "ress# /$e looke" a! $er own s$or!s on !$e

loor# /ome!imes- I !$ink i!s always been !$is way# T$e 'lamo- ,earl Harbor- !$e @ul o Tonkin# I !$ink

!$eres always been weir" s!u &oin& on !$a! common %eo%le "on! know abou! un!il way la!er in !$e

$is!ory books# ;e $a%%en !o be involve" in !$is min"blowin& s!u ri&$! now- !$ou&$#5 +ivian &rabbe"

$er s$or!s an" $ea"e" !o !$e res!room# Beore closin& !$e "oor- s$e aske"- 7ou "on! $ave !o %ee45

1ah#5 le!c$er %lo%%e" $imsel back on !$e be"# ;ake me i I all back aslee%#5 +ivian close"

!$e "oor# le!c$er was res!less# He $ear" !$e s$ower s!ar!# He sa! u% an" %iece" !$e ri%%e" %a%ers !o&e!$er#

He be&an !o rea"# We the Oligarchy of the 1orth American continent# in order to ensure domestic

tran>uility# facilitate robust commerce# and secure widespread foreign interests hereby establish this new

&onstitution of 1orth America for the third millennium# ;$a! is !$is4 <an !$is be a ri&&in =oke45

'n anonymous caller5 inorme" au!$ori!ies !$a! an uns!able e9$ibi!ionis!5 was makin& $is way



abou! !$e Aos 'n&eles s!ree!s# T$e caller was Tom Mcay an" !$e uns!able e9$ibi!ionis!5 was Ma!!

/!ubbs# <I' insi"ers mana&e" !o &e! Ma!! commi!!e" !o !$e same :<A' !rea!men! cen!er w$ere ,aris

Jackson was a!# Ma!! sa! on a be" an" looke" "own a! $is !ennis s$oes# T$ey $a" !aken $is laces as a

s!an"ar" %roce"ure %resumin& !$ey coul" be use" !o make a ru"imen!ary noose# Why do / keep going

through this4 $e won"ere"# He el! &ro&&y rom an ini!ial se"a!ive in=ec!ion# 'no!$er %a!ien! was bein&

a"mi!!e" an" woul" s$are a be" ne9! !o Ma!!s# Aunc$ woul" be soon# ' nurse aske" i every!$in& was

okay# kay45 Ma!! aske"# 's lon& as !$e aliens "on! s!ar! a!!ackin& !$is a!ernoon85 Ma!! was =okin&

bu! $e coul" see concern in !$e nurses ace#

/$e "i"n! !ake i! in =es!# 're you one o !$em- Ma!!$ew4 're you %ar! o an alien race45 /$e

wai!e" or an answer bu! !$ere was no!$in&# ;oul" you like !o !alk !o a "oc!or abou! !$e aliens-

Ma!!$ew45

?o- maam-5 Ma!! sai"# I $ave o!$er issues#5

T$e new %a!ien! con!ribu!e"- I know $ow !$eyre &oin& !o !ake over !$e worl"# The government -

Im !alkin& abou!# I!s !$e mice# T$eres a new bree" o mice !$a! s%eaks8 7ou know4 Bioen&ineerin& an"every!$in&# 6,lane! o !$e '%es bu! on a muc$ smaller scale#5

Ma!! !urne" !o !$e &uy- s!ill $eavily se"a!e"# I know %eo%le in a! !$e ,en!a&on an" !$a!s no!

$a%%enin&# /omeone !ol" you a lie#5

T$e nurse le! !$e room# T$e new %a!ien! in!ro"uce" $imsel# My names Elwyn Hayes#5 He sa!

on $is be"#

Ma!! looke" aroun"# T$e walls were clean# In one o !$e ceilin& corners was a c$arcoal semi

"ome# He &es!ure" in !$a! "irec!ion# T$eres a camera !$a!s wa!c$in& us- $u$45

<amera4 T$a!s w$y youre $ere- aren! you4 -aranoia#5 Elwyn &o! u% !o c$eck i! ou!# 7ea$#

7oure ri&$!# I can barely see !$rou&$ i!# T$eres a camera !$ere#5 He wen! back !o $is be"# T$is

mornin&- I woke u% an" a mouse was !alkin& !o me8 I! was on i!s back le&s an" i! was sayin& !$in&s like

6you nee" !o &e! a =ob an" s!u like !$a!8 I calle" my mom u% an" !ol" $er# ' $al $our la!er4 7e%# T$ey

came !o &e! me85

I was "ro%%e" o almos! nake" in ron! o !$e <a%i!al @rille on Beverly Boulevar"# 'n an"roi"

an" &overnmen! crony wan!e" me !o inil!ra!e !$is %lace### so I coul"###5 Ma!! looke" a! Elwyns ace# His

ace mor%$e"# /s this guy getting mad 4 Ma!! won"ere"# I "on! know w$a!s &oin& on# I "on! know w$y

Im $ere#5

<I'4 7oure <I'4 r an o%era!ive4 Hal !$is %lace says !$a! same !$in&85 Elwyn Hayes

calme" "own# /o !$is mouse is !alkin&- ri&$!4 I "on! know $ow !$ey "i" i!# /%licin& &enes4 I "on!

know# Bu! $e &oes on !o say###5

Elwyn Hayes wen! on !o s%eak nons!o% or a $al $our un!il i! was !ime or lunc$# Ma!! lai" back

on $is be" an" lis!ene" !o an eclec!ic ran!# ;$en lunc$ was calle"- $e won"ere" w$ere $e woul" be in a

year# / might get rich# / might get busted # He was !$inkin& o lyrics rom !$e /!eve Miller Ban"# /,m in

too deep- $e !$ou&$!# There,s no turning around. Where will / be0 Where will / be4 Ma!! believe" $e was



%layin& !$e &oo" sol"ier5 role or !$e &overnmen!# / bet this is how it starts# Ma!! !$ou&$! abou! $omeless

%eo%le on ski" row# / bet this is how they started. They thought they were doing the right thing for their

government: War veterans. All of Jem. Ma!! le! $is room an" $ea"e" or !$e "inin& room# He oun" a

s%o! a! a !able an" was =oine" by Elwyn Hayes# Trays o oo" were se! in ron! o !$em# Ma!! looke" a! $is

%las!ic me"ical wris!ban"# He rea" $is name on i!# T$ere was a small %iece o %a%er in !$e "rink slo! o $is

!ray# T$e %a%er $a" $is like $is wris!ban"# 'll !$e oo" %asse" aroun" %re!!y muc$ looke" !$e same# He

won"ere" w$y eac$ %la!e was assi&ne" !o s%eciic in"ivi"uals# He s$ook !$e i"ea#

on! ea! !$e cornbrea"-5 Elwyn sai"# T$ey %u! e9!ra "ru&s in i!8 7oull become a .ombie in no

time an" youll never &e! ou! o $ere#5

Ma!! /!ubbs !ook $is cornbrea" an" bi! in!o i!# 7ou soun" like !$e %aranoi" one now85 He

con!inue" !o ea! an" $e con!inue" !o won"er abou! !$e %eo%le on !$e s!ree!s# He looke" a! $is assor!e"

ve&e!ables- mas$e" %o!a!oes an" a !$in slice o mys!ery mea!# o we $ave any messia$s wi!$ us45 $e

aske" Elwyn# :sually !$eres a $an"ul o %eo%le wi!$ &o" com%le9es in !$ese =oin!s- I un"ers!an"#5 Ma!!

/!ubbs %oke" a !$in s!raw in!o an cean /%ray bo9 o cran&ra%e =uice !$en si%%e"# He announce" !orou&$ly !wen!y o!$er %a!ien!s in !$e room- <$eers !o !$e c$e8 T$is oo" is no! $al ba"85

le!c$er an" +ivian c$ecke" ou! o !$e /$orebreak Ho!el an" $ea"e" !o Balboa# T$ey "eci"e" !o

!ake a erry !o <a!alina Islan"# I!s !$e len&!$ o a mara!$on- you know4 Twen!ysi9 miles#5 +ivian

wa!c$e" le!c$ers ace bu! $e "i"n! seem u% !o !alkin&# I c$ecke" ou! %ic!ures o !$e ,avilion Ho!el an"

i! seems like a nice %lace !o s!ay#5 +ivian wa!c$e" le!c$ers s!ubby $air# T$e las! !ime !$ey s%en!

e9!en"e" *uali!y !ime !o&e!$er- $is $air was =us! %as! $is s$oul"ers# I! woul" be !wis!in& aroun" i i! was

s!ill lon&# le!c$er s!are" !owar" !$e $ori.on an" $a" a "is!an! look in $is eyes# +ivian con!inue" on-

T$ey $ave one o !$ose cable .i% lines- you know4 ;e can $ave un on !$a!#5

T$ey were on !$e ron! "eck o !$e erry an" !$ere were a ew o!$er cou%les in !$e area# cean

mis! we! le!c$ers ace an" $e wi%e" some o i! o# He inally !urne" !o +iv- 'll !$is !ime we were

blamin& @eor&e ; Bus$ or nine eleven### an" i!s no! !$a! $e wasn! in com%lici!y wi!$ $ar"core "il"os

runnin& !$e s$ow be$in" !$e scenes#5 le!c$er el! embarrasse"# He was on a *ues! or !ru!$# He wan!e"

knowle"&e even i i! $ur!# 7ou say !$ey were &oin& !o assassinate $im i $e "i"n! &o alon&45

I $a" a lon& !alk wi!$ my a!$er in +ancouver# Two "ays beore !$e nine eleven a!!acks- '$ma"

/$a$ Massou" was kille" by &unmen %osin& as a camera crew# n !$e "ay o nine eleven- a &rou% o 'rab

=ournalis!s !rie" !o in!erview Bus$ in /araso!a- lori"a wi!$ou! a sc$e"ule" a%%oin!men! bu! !$ey were

!urne" away by !$e /ecre! /ervice# @eor&e ; Bus$ si!s in an elemen!ary classroom an" looks like a "eer in

$ea"li&$!s# 'ri leisc$er $a" =us! !ol" $im !$a! 'merica was un"er a!!ack bu! !$ey si! !$ere wi!$ ki"s

rea"in& The -et (oat # 'ri is Jewis$- you see4 Two $ours beore !$e %lanes $i!- an Israeli messa&in&

com%any- "i&o- sen"s ou! a warnin& !$a! a ma=or a!!ack is imminen!# The -et (oat # 7ou see4 Bus$ is !$e

&oa! an" or cen!uries> since the time of &ain and Abel# / suppose >!$e sacriice o a &oa! is cen!ral or

Hebrews in !$eir reli&ion# @eor&e ; Bus$ even!ually &e!s ou! an" on!o 'ir orce ne w$ere ano!$er

messa&e comes ou! Angel is ne*t. T$ey were rea"y !o assassina!e !$e %resi"en! unless $e



im%lica!e" sama bin Aa"en an" 'l Kea"a#5 +ivian casually looke" aroun" a! !$e o!$er cou%les on !$e

"eck# /$e el! nu!s any !ime s$e s%oke abou! nine eleven or any cons%iracy# T$e %eo%le aroun" $er wen!

abou! !$eir business as i !$ey coul"n! $ear $er# T$is %u! $er a! ease#

/ome o !$is is i rom !alkin& !o your "a"### bu! you were rea"in& ;ebs!er Tar%leys BS

'ynthetic Terror ade in 5'A- correc!4 I "on! &e! i!# ;$y woul" %eo%le "o !$is45 le!c$er Browne el!

like $e was blowin& a use# He knew !$e answer# He "ocumen!e" a "ea!$ cam% in Beec$ @rove- In"iana

an" $e %$o!o&ra%$e" mass coins ou!si"e o '!lan!a# His inner c$il" was arai" !$a! !$e mons!er was

bi&&er !$an any!$in& $e wan!e" !o $an"le# He was =us! comin& !o &ri%s !$a! Bus$- <$eney an" Rumsel"

lie" !o !$e %ublic abou! !$e a!!acks# He !$ou&$! !$ey were !$e !o% o !$e oo" c$ain- !$ou&$# His lielon&

lover was now !ellin& $im !$ey were &e!!in& %us$e" aroun"- bullie" an" !$rea!ene"# ;$a! coul" be bi&&er

!$an !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen!4 le!c$ el! like a use was mel!in& in $is brain bu! $e was more arai"

by i&norance# I $e "i"n! know w$o coul" %us$ !$e %resi"en!s bu!!ons- !$en maybe $e coul" s!umble

u%on !$is $i""en %ower an" &e! &anke" like a %e"es!rian in a "ark alley# I!s Israel- ri&$!4 The ossad 4

T$ey were be$in" nine eleven#5 His ace !wi!c$e"# He believe" $e s$oul" $ave known i! all alon&#+ivian scra%e" $er lon&- %ur%le%ain!e" in&ernails alon& le!c$s orearm rom $is elbow !o $is

wris!# I!s !$e ionis!s# T$a!s w$a! I believe# ;ebs!er Tar%ley- by !$e way- "oesn! believe i! was

%rimarily Israeli in!elli&ence# He !$inks i! was our own &uys# T$eres a Bri!is$ &uy- @re& el!on- !$a!

wro!e The "ost and the -arasite "ow /srael,s 7ifth &olumn &onsumed America # He makes a &rea! case

or !$ese "u"es wi!$ "uel 'mericanS Israeli ci!i.ens$i% Jeremy an" Jules roll Jerome Hauer Mic$ael

an" Ben=amin <$er!o /$elia Bimbaum 'lvin Hellers!ein enne!$ einber& Aarry /ilvers!ein ov

ak$eim# T$ere were hordes o %eo%le in $i&$ %osi!ions lea"in& u% !o !$e a!!acks an" !$ey were "ele&a!e"

%osi!ions !o resolve !$e issues a!er !$e buil"in&s came "own#5

EM' was in ?ew 7ork on /e%!ember !en!$ an" !$ey were workin& wi!$ @iuliani on a bio!error

"rill### !$en !$ey "eny bein& !$ere# ;$y woul" our &overnmen! lie !o us so ba"ly all o a su""en45 nce

a&ain- le!c$ers inner c$il" s%oke wi!$ !$e same ear o a boo&eyman# He was a! a loss or wor"s#

enial. enial. enial - $e !$ou&$!# / wish / could go into denial # ;$en I irs! me! Tom Mcay a! !$e

Beec$ @rove %lace- $e !ol" me !$a! !$eres a visible aca"e o &overnmen! an" !$a!s w$a! we call our

6s!ruc!ure# T$e ;$i!e House- <on&ress an" /u%reme <our!- ri&$!4 He !ol" me- 6;$a! we are "ealin& wi!$

$ere is !$e "arkness be$in" !$e veneer# T$ere is some!$in& else !$a! ew a"ul!s ever reali.e e9is!s# He

calle" !$is !$e 6su%ers!ruc!ure bu! I !$ou&$! $e was merely !alkin& abou! !$e <I'#5 le!c$er el! !ire" an"

$e believe" !$e sub=ec! was "rainin& +iv as well# 7oure $ere !ellin& me !$a! !$eres another layer !$a!

!ruly ma!!ers#5

In !$e mon!$s a!er nine eleven- Israeli a&en!s were walkin& abou! !$e ,en!a&on like !$ey owne"

i!# T$ey" come !o see ou&las ei!$ an" !$e secre!aries coul"n! &e! !$ese &uys !o si&n in# 'll !$e w$ile-

;es! ,oin! &ra"ua!es were !rea!e" like bur&er li%%ers#5 +ivian use" $er lon& nails !o scra!c$ !$e un"ersi"e

o le!c$s =aw# /$e coul" !ell i! was soo!$in& $im#

T$is is 6;a& !$e o&- isn! i!4 ;ere !ryin& !o i&ure ou! w$o "i" i!> who was most responsible#



;e bo!$ believe !$ey were in i! !o&e!$erri&$!45 le!c$ &rabbe" +ivs $an" a! $is c$eek an" kisse" $er

%alm# He looke" in!o !$e sky an" was &la" !$a! overcas! clou"s were comin& in# I! was early July an"

am%le cover mean! i! woul"n! be scorc$in& $o!#

<ui bono# ;i!$ any crime- you wan! !o ask w$o $a" !$e mo!ive an" w$o $a" !$e means# any#

many %eo%le mi&$! $ave !$e mo!ive !o $arm !$e :/' aroun" !$e worl"# ;eve been a success in a lo! o

ways# T$eres =ealousy- misun"ers!an"in&- bi!!erness an" w$a!ever else# ;$o coul" %ull i! o !$ou&$4 '

"isenc$an!e" /au"i on "ialysis wi!$ a la%!o% com%u!er in a remo!e '&$an cave4 /illy# I you !ell me

Bri!ain- @ermany- rance- Russia- <$ina or Ja%an !$en maybe were on !$e roa" !o believabili!y# T$is is

only ability !o $arm us# ;$y woul" !$ey "o i! !$ou&$4 T$ey woul"n!# I "on! believe i! was !$em# ;e

s%en" !ime convincin& ourselves !$a! 3ogues insi"e our &overnmen! $a" mo!ive- s!u%i" as i! woul" seem#

T$ere were Israelis "ancin& in !$e s!ree!s o ?ew 7ork a!er !$e a!!acks# T$ey were "e!aine"- release"- an"

woun" u% on T+ in Israel# T$ey sai" !$ey were !$ere !o "ocumen! !$e even!# ;$a! "oes !$a! mean4 T$e

?7, oun" a van wi!$ a mural o !$e Towers %ain!e" on !$e si"e wi!$ a %lane abou! !o $i! one o !$em###

ri&$! a!er !$e %lanes $i! in reali!y#57ou know w$a! I eel like- +iv45 le!c$ leane" a&ains! !$e &uar" rail an" %ulle" $er !owar" $im#

I eel like a "oous w$o s!u"ie" useless !o%ics %re%arin& !o com%e!e on Jeo%ar"y# I "on! know w$a! &oo"

!$is "oes# I wan! !o eel be!!er !$e more I learn abou! !$e worl"# I "on! eel be!!er !$ou&$#5

;e "on! $ave !o !alk abou! i! anymore# I miss /$a.bo! an" ina$# I wis$ !$ey were $ere#5

+ivian kisse" le!c$ers neck# T$ey move" rom !$e errys "eck !o an insi"e cabin# T$ey sa! *uie!ly

$ol"in& $an"s un!il !$ey reac$e" <a!alina w$ere !$ey c$ecke" in!o ye! ano!$er $o!el an" ren!e" bikes !o

ri"e aroun" !$e islan"#

I! was a!ernoon an" Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was in !$e "inin& area a&ain o !$e :<A' %syc$ia!ric war"

w$ere $e $a" been !aken a! "aybreak# I! seeme" like an even! !$a! $a%%ene" years a&o# T$e "inin& !ables

were %us$e" back a&ains! !$e walls an" !$e c$airs were or"ere" in!o a lar&e circle# 'n ol"er emale "oc!or-

%er$a%s i!yive years ol"- was runnin& a !$era%y session# Her $air was "ark e9ce%! or silver s!ran"s $ere

an" !$ere# Her &lasses were lar&e- %ink an" %las!ic# /$e wan!e" eac$ %a!ien! !o say $is or $er name- oer a

brie "escri%!ion o w$a! le" !o !$e $ol"- an" !$en &ive an assessmen! o !$e eec!iveness o w$a!ever

%rescribe" "ru& was bein& !aken#

T$e irs! la"y !o s%eak was a His%anic la"y in $er !$ir!ies# /$e sai" !$e &overnmen! was ou! !o &e!

$er an" !$a! !$ey wan!e" !o s!eal $er babies !o i&$! in ille&al wars# /$e was !akin& li!$ium an" believe" i!

ma"e $er muscles s!i# ' man !o $er ri&$! knew !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es economy woul" colla%se beore

<$ris!mas# He s!ole a !ruck o ;ebs!ers brea" an" !ook i! !o an elemen!ary sc$ool w$ere $e $an"e" ou!

loaves !o c$il"ren# He !ol" !$e ki"s !o warn !$eir %aren!s an" !$en $e was %icke" u% by sc$ool securi!y# He

a""e"- Tru!$ully- I &o! a oreclosure no!ice an" I !$ou&$! !$ey" !ake me !o =ail# Ill really nee" a %lace !o

s!ay- you know4 Im no! cra.y#5 He conclu"e" by sayin& !$a! $is Hal"ol was workin& ine =us! like i!

always "oes w$en $e &e!s %icke" u%#

' !eena&e blon" &irl believe" s$e was a emale version o Jesus <$ris!# Everyw$ere I &o- %eo%le



are ollowin& me8 I can! &e! !$em so s!o%85 /$e !ook a $al bo!!le o slee%in& %ills an" was a"mi!!e" a!er

$avin& $er s!omac$ %um%e"# Elwyn Hayes was ne9! an" !ol" !$e &rou% abou! !$e !alkin& mouse# He sai"

!$a! scien!is!s mani%ula!e" !$e &ene w$ic$ "evelo%s !$e laryn9 an" !on&ue# /omew$ere in an unknown

labora!ory- mice $ave a minia!ure colle&e w$ere !$ey learn /$akes%eare an" !$e ar!s# Ma!! /!ubbs looke"

aroun" !$e circle an" "i"n! see ,aris Jackson# Tom Mcay !ol" $im !$a!s w$y $e was sen! !$ere# He was

su%%ose" !o i&ure" some!$in& ou! rom $er#

Elwyn Hayes re%or!e" !$a! !$e <lo.a%ine "oses mi&$! be $i&$ because $e was eelin& a li!!le o#

Ma!!s !urn came abou!- My name is Ma!!$ew /!ubbs# Im no! in !$e <I' bu! my bu""ies an" my boss are

a&en!s# I was sen! $ere or some na!ional securi!y kin" o issue# Tec$nically- I was calle" on e9$ibi!ionism

bu! !$ey s!ole my clo!$es an" kicke" me ou! o a van# Ive been bea! u% by a lar&e %ink bunny### an" a

mi"&e! !$rew ca! %iss in!o my eyes# T$is is a!er !$ey s!ra%%e" me !o a c$air an" orce" me !o wa!c$

Malcolm #5

T$e "oc!or seeme" %u..le"# /$e aske"- <an you really say !$a! your rien"s are in !$e &entral

/ntelligence Agency4 Mi&$! i! be !$a! !$ey were =us! messin& wi!$ your $ea"4 ,eo%le =oke aroun"- youknow45

Joke aroun"4 Is !$a! w$y !$ey &ave me a $umansi.e" ullunc!ionin& an"roi" !o %al aroun"

wi!$4 ;ere !$ey =okin& w$en !$ey commissione" me !o buil" a &as $ouse or :/ "issi"en!s near my

$ome!own o Terre Hau!e4 ;$a! abou! !$a!45 T$e nurse sub!ly no""e" !owar" or"erlies# Ma!! looke"

back over $is s$oul"er !o !$e le! !$en !o !$e ri&$!# Aar&e men were a%%roac$in& $im rom be$in"# ;$a!

!$e###45 Eac$ man wore all w$i!e nursin& clo!$es an" eac$ &rabbe" Ma!!s arms on o%%osi!e si"es#

T$e one !o !$e le! coul"ve been mis!aken or Aawrence Taylor rom !$e ?ew 7ork @ian!s# He

!ol" Ma!!- 7ou $ave become !oo "isor"erly# 7ou will $ave !o be !aken !o isola!ion a! !$is %oin!#5

Is !$is $ow i! works45 Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was s!ar!le"# 're you !akin& me !o see ,aris4 Im $ere

!o see ,aris#5

T$e lar&e man !o Ma!!s ri&$! looke" like <$a" roe&er rom ?ickelback# ,aris4 T$eres no

Eiel Tower w$ere you,re &oin&#5

-aris =ackson- Ma!! /!ubbs !$ou&$!# 4ou should know what /,m talking about. What,s going on0

Why are things always going haywire4 Ma!! was %lace" in a soli!ary room wi!$ only a ma!!ress on !$e

loor# Why aren,t the walls padded0 This isn,t like the movies# T$e or"erlies le! !$e room an" locke" !$e

"oor be$in" !$em# Ma!! wan!e" !o be $a%%y# He !rie" !o !$ink o music rom !$e @lenn Miller rc$es!ra#

He wan!e" !unes !o %lay insi"e o $is $ea"# Ins!ea"- a voice rom "ee% wi!$in $is i" s%oke !o $im# The &/A

doesn,t care about you. 1o one cares about you. The 5nited 'tates of America is on its last leg. 4our

words disturb too many people. 4ou better learn to lie about your life events. He coul"n! &e! bi& ban"

music !o %lay in $is $ea"# He !rie" !$e Bea!les an" i! worke"- "ere / stand head in hand# turn my face to

the wall... /f she,s gone / can,t go on feeling two$foot small... He le! !$e ab our %lay in $is $ea" !$en $e

"eci"e" !o %ray# He "i"n! consi"er $imsel a reli&ious "u"e- bu! $e none!$eless %raye"#

' $al $our %asse" by an" Ma!! /!ubbs !ense" u%# His me"ica!ion was wearin& o an" $is ear



!urne" in!o an&er# He $a" !$e ur&e !o s!ar! %oun"in& on !$e "oor# He $a" !$e ur&e !o yell a! !$e !o% o $is

lun&s# His belly el! like a urnace# Ri&$! w$en $e !$ou&$! $e coul"n! !ake i! anymore- !$e "oor o%ene"#

I! was !$e emale "oc!or rom !$e !$era%y session# 're you alri&$! !o !alk45 s$e aske" Ma!!# T$e !wo

or"erlies were be$in" $er in case any!$in& wil" $a%%ene"# 're you okay45

&alm down# att. They,ll peg you as a violent wacko then you,ll never get out of here. &alm

down# He !alke" $imsel in!o a mana&eable s!a!e# I can !alk#5

I!s alri&$!-5 !$e "oc!or !ol" !$e or"erlies# T$ey le! !$en s$e en!ere" !$e room wi!$ !$e "oor a=ar#

7ou $ave issues- Ma!!# Everyone $ere "oes# Mos! o !$e &uys in !$a! room $ave a cou%le o %ieces o

lies %u..le an" !$ey !$ink !$ey know every!$in&# T$eyre wron&- !$ou&$- an" !$ey win" u% "an&erous !o

o!$er %eo%le or even !$emselves# /ome o !$em are on "ru&s# 7ou name i!# <ocaine- wee"- aci" or

w$a!ever# Tru!$ully- we o!en &ive !$em some!$in& similar !o w$a! !$eyre alrea"y usin&# %ioi"base"

%rescri%!ions $ave been calle" !$e new cocaine- or e9am%le# T$ese &uys are a""ic!s an" :ncle /am $as

become oc!or eel&oo"# T$eres a mone!ary incen!ive !o "o w$a! we "o# /ome animals make !$emselves

look bi&&er w$en !$eyre in "an&er# ' cobra coils i!sel u%war" an" s%lays i!s neck# Toa"s will s!an" on!$eir le&s an" inla!e like a balloon# ,uer is$ e9%an" !oo- see4 ,eo%le "o !$is same !$in&# T$ey !ell

o!$ers !$eyre in !$e <I' or maia w$en !$ey &e! %icke" on# T$is !$eore!ically %ro=ec!s !$a! !$eir social si.e

is lar&er !$an i! o!$erwise is bu! i! also causes %roblems# T$eir sani!y is *ues!ione" an"### ;ell4 Mos!

%eo%le w$o come in $ere $ave no!$in& !o "o wi!$ s%ecial or&ani.a!ions !$ey say !$eyre %ar! o# Ever $ear

o !$e Illumina!i4 ;e &e! a lo! o !$ose#5

<an you !ell me your %oin!- %lease45 Ma!! was arai" an" $is voice *uivere"# Im conuse"- no!

=us! by you# Im no! %re!en"in& any!$in&#5 He rea" !$e "oc!ors name on $er &ol"en rec!an&ular ba"&e#

raper # Ma!! !$ou&$! abou! ,u !$e Ma&ic ra&on# =ackie -aper became =ackie raper #

I know# How many %eo%le woul" know abou! Beec$ @rove4 nce in a w$ile- we &e! !$e real

"eal# 7oure $ere !o see ,aris Jackson4 ?o! &onna $a%%en# /$e $as "ieren! issues !$an you# Her !$era%y

&rou% is###5 T$e "oc!or "eci"e" !o no! "isclose any ur!$er# My name is "oc!or Becky ra%er#5 /$e

wai!e" or Ma!! !o say nice !o mee! you5 or any!$in& else bu! $e sa! on $is ma!!ress wi!$ a bewil"ere" ace#

7our bu""ies really are in !$e <I'# I believe !$a!# 7ou were abou! !o &ive !oo muc$ inorma!ion in !$a!

o!$er room# 7ou can! yell 6ire in a !$ea!re or !$e sake inci!in& %anic#5

I s!ill "on! un"ers!an"#5 Ma!! looke" a! $is s$oes an" el! somew$a! nake" wi!$ou! laces# He

el! judged some$ow#

;ere &oin& !o $ave !o move you !o a "ieren! win& is all# T$e %eo%le $ere can! $an"le w$a!

you $ave !o !ell !$em# T$eyre uns!able- okay4 ;ere &oin& !o %u! you wi!$ %eo%le like yoursel# 7ou

$ave &overnmen! issues4 /o "o !$ey#5 /$e mo!ione" or Ma!! !o &e! !o $is ee!# 7ou mus! make i!

!$rou&$ !$ese seven!y!wo $ours an" s$ow a "ieren! se! o "oc!ors !$a! youre sane# <ra.y !$in&s

$a%%ene" !o you# T$a!s all#5 /$e wa!c$e" Ma!! &e! !o $is ee!# 7ou !$ink &overnmen! is corru%! an" I

believe i! is in some %laces# 7oull $ave an a"voca!e ar&ue on your be$al#5

I s!ill "on! &e! i!# I eel like a %in& %on& an" I wan! i! !o s!o%#5 Ma!! wai!e" or ur!$er



"irec!ions# oc!or Becky ra%er s!e%%e" ou!si"e o !$e room an" calle" !$e or"erlies# T$ey escor!e" Ma!!

/!ubbs !o a "ieren! %ar! o !$e $os%i!al#

+ivian /!ree!s an" le!c$er Browne mus!ere" enou&$ ener&y !o &o kayakin& a!er !$eir bike ri"e#

's !$e /un se!- !$ey "eci"e" on "inner a! i &asita# T$eir wai!er &ave !$em menus an" +iv be&an !$e

conversa!ion- ?o one knew un!il yes!er"ay- you know4 I !e9!e" E""ie an" !ol" $im !o kee% $us$# I almos!

wan!e" !o s!ay away lon&er# T$ey $a" !$e i"ea or !$e Tro=an $orse> don,t ask me where they got it >an" I

ran !$ere !o &e! in w$en we saw you %ull u%#5

/ur%rise4 ;ow# I $ave "on! know $ow !o e9%lain $ow I el!#5 our!$ o July "i"n! eel like i!

was merely !$e "ay beore bu! i! was# I wan! !o $ave an a&reemen! !$a! we won! !alk abou! nine eleven

w$ile were on !$is islan"### unless i!s really- really bo!$erin& you#5 le!c$er el! !ire" a&ain# He coul"n!

un"ers!an" !$e burs! o ener&y $e $a" w$en !$ey were ou! bikin& an" kayakin&# ental drain- $e !$ou&$!#

This is mental drain.

<an we !alk abou! !$e Illumina!i4 Jus! in &eneral- I mean45 +ivian like" !$e /%anis$ s!yle o !$e

res!auran!# /$e $o%e" !$e oo" was !as!y#7ea$# /$oo! away# oes !$is $ave !o "o wi!$ 6Tomb Rai"er4 Is !$is abou! 6?a!ional

Treasure45 le!c$er was =okin&#

?o# Me an" my "a">5

y dad and / -5 le!c$er in!er=ec!e"#

>were !alkin& abou! all !$ese celebri!y ki"s an" !$e s!ran&e !$in&s $a%%enin&# I!s no! =us! !$e

%a%ara..i# T$eres some!$in& weird ou! !$ere# Tom Mcay was aroun" w$en !$e Tro=an $orse was

"elivere"> this is around noon yesterday >an" $e !ells me !$a! $es &onna commi! Ma!! !o a men!al

ins!i!u!ion w$en you &uys s$ow u%# aybe we should call him# Im won"erin& w$a! !$e $ecks &oin& on

an" w$y "o suc$ !$in&#5 +iv %i*ue" le!c$s in!eres! bu! $e allowe" $er !o inis$# I! $a" !o "o wi!$

Mic$ael Jacksons "au&$!er an" s$e was sen"in& ou! ominous messa&es !$rou&$ Twi!!er an" Ins!a&ram

beore a %a""y wa&on came or $er#5

Tom was &onna commi! Ma!! !o :<A' me"ical or w$erever ,aris is a!45 le!c$er looke" aroun"

because $e !$ou&$! !$e wai!er was !akin& lon&# T$ere was no one in si&$!# /oun"s like reven&e# Toms

&e!!in& reven&e or w$a! $a%%ene" on !$a! boa! in !$e eys#5

7ea$4 ;$y "o I $ear !$a! !$in&s like !$is $a%%en4 ;$y "o so many %eo%le in !$ose ins!i!u!ions

believe !$eyre in !$e <I'4 I !$ink i!s because !$eyre headed in!o !$e <I' an" %eo%le like Ma!! are sen! in

as liaisons#5 +ivian looke" be$in" le!c$ an" saw !$e wai!er comin&# &hips and salsa#5

@oo"# Im $un&ry#5 le!c$er Browne $ar"ly wai!e" or !$e bowl !o be se! "own# <an we $ave

a si"e o &uacamole45 $e aske" !$e wai!er# He &rabbe" some c$i%s an" crunc$e" a ew# /orry so ru"e-

$un# I $aven! ea!en since !$e erry ri"e#5 He a!e some more c$i%s !$en &o! back !o !$e sub=ec!- T$a!

soun"s like a nea! i"ea or a !elevision s$ow bu! I can $ar"ly believe i! works like !$a!# Ma!!4 Hes &oin&

!o in" Mic$ael Jacksons "au&$!er in a %syc$ia!ric war" an" !ell $er no! !o worry- 6;e "on! !$ink youre

suici"al8 ;e are =us! !ryin& !o &e! you ou! o your amily so you can s!ar! workin& as a secre! a&en!8 I!



$a%%ens like !$is all !$e !ime85

're !$e c$i%s !$a! &oo"4 Maybe you s$oul" !ry c$ewin&8 7ou mi&$! en=oy 6em more85 +iv

lau&$e"# /eriously- !$ou&$# nowin& !$e !$in&s we know- can! we a! leas! !$ink i!s %ossible4 oes Tom

$a!e Ma!! !$a! muc$45 +ivian wa!c$e" le!c$ scar !$e c$i%s "own# /$e wan!e" !o save $er a%%e!i!e or a

main course an" "i"n! %ar!ake# I "on! know#5

My min" kee%s &e!!in& sna%%e"- +iv# I believe" or so lon& !$a! our &overnmen! wasn! corru%!

an" !$en i! seeme" !$a! s$a"y %rac!ices are !$eir only way o unc!ionin&# Mic$ael ;einers runnin& or

mayor o ?ew 7ork- you know4 Have you $ear" any!$in& abou! !$e /an ie&o mayor an" rumblin&s o

se9ual $arassmen!4 Tom Mcay $ear" !$rou&$ !$e &ra%evine !$a! ormer %resi"en! Jimmy <ar!er is $ea"e"

!o @ermany or an in!erview abou! E"war" /now"en# Hes &oin& !o !ell re%or!ers !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es

"emocracy no lon&er works# <an you believe !$a!45

Ill believe i! w$en i! $a%%ens85 +ivian smile"# T$e wai!er was back an" rea"y !o !ake !$eir

or"er# T$e cou%le or"ere" bi& an" !alke" mainly abou! s%ace !ravel w$ile !$ey a!e#

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was move" !o a "ieren! win& o !$e :<A' %syc$ia!ric cen!er# He was woken u% by "oc!or Becky ra%er a! si9 s$ar%# Elwyn Hayes was bein& a"mi!!e" !o s$are !$e room wi!$ $im# T$e

win& w$ere $e was a! $a" ewer %eo%le an" mos! o !$em $a" issues wi!$ !$e &overnmen!# T$ere were

ve!erans o !$e war in Ira* wi!$ severe %os! !rauma!ic s!ress issues# T$ere was a ormer ?/' worker like

/now"en %ur%or!in& !$a! !$e &overnmen! was !ryin& !o kill $im# T$ere was a re!ire" 'ir orce &eneral w$o

believe" i! was !ime !o !ell !$e worl" abou! !$e aliens o Roswell# T$ere was a <I' a&en! w$o claime" !$a!

M :l!ra backire" on $im an" !$a! $is bu""ies were !ryin& !o !roll $im aroun" rom ci!y !o ci!y# Elwyn

&ree!e" Ma!!- ;ere back !o&e!$er a&ain85

I!s !$e en" o our &ol"en a&e-5 Ma!! sai"# He looke" a! !$e "oc!or bu! "i"n! say any!$in& !o $er#

Elwyn sa! on !$e be" ne9! !o Ma!!# =U vu8 I eel like Ive &one !$rou&$ !$is beore#5

T$e mice are s!ill a!er me85 Elwyn wa!c$e" Ma!! become %u..le"# oc!or Becky sai"

some!$in& abou! breakas! comin& u% !$en le! !$e room# Im ki""in&# I "on! know w$y !$ey move" me

$ere- !$ou&$#5

I was sen! $ere !o &e! ino on ,aris Jackson# Im s!ar!in& !o really believe i! was =us! a &uise or

my ormer boss !o &e! back a! me or smearin& !una is$ all over $is ace# T$is is a!er $e &o! a mi"&e! !o

!$row %iss in my ace- o course# oc!or Becky !ol" me I coul" s%eak reely in !$is win& because !$e o!$er

&uys###5 Ma!! s!o%%e" !alkin& mi"sen!ence w$en breakas! was announce"# ;e can &e! !o i! la!er#5

Mic$ael Jacksons "au&$!er4 T$ey were !alkin& abou! $er yes!er"ay evenin& a!er !$ey !ook you

away# i" you wa!c$ 6Men In Black4 T$eres always a &alac!ic "es!royer ou! !$ere o some kin"- ri&$!4

T$e only !$in& !$a! kee%s us sae is !$a! no one knows abou! i!# T$e %o%ulous mi&$! %anic an" raise arms-

o!$erwise# T$e Illumina!i is like !$a!- a%%aren!ly- an" Mic$ael usse" abou! !$a! ul!rasecre! or&ani.a!ion

beore $e was kille"# ?illed 4 7es# ille"### in!en!ionally by an o%era!ive o !rue $i&$eru%s- "oc!or <onra"

Murray# ,aris was livin& a rela!ively re&ular lie un!il s$e s!ar!e" a""ressin& !$ese same orces !$rou&$

social me"ia#5



;ere &onna be la!e or c$ow# Ae!s $ea" ou!-5 Ma!! &o! u% rom $is be" an" wen! !o !$e "inin&

area# Elwyn ollowe"#

Elwyn sa! ne9! !o Ma!! an" con!inue"- I was in A' <oun!y =ail a ew years a&o or a :I# T$a!

%lace is a rickin "un&eon# T$eres &rai!i all over !$e walls- i! sinks o urine- an" %eo%le say !$ere are ra!s

$ere an" !$ere# I "i"n! see any- bu! !$a!s no! !$e issue# T$e cells w$ere I was a! aren! su%ervise" in any

way# ?o cameras# ?o one wa!c$in&# I!s an $onor sys!em- I su%%ose### w$ic$ is weir" w$en you &e! all

!$ese $ar" criminals livin& wi!$ %e!!y !$ieves an" suc$# T$ere was !$is "u"e a ew cells over rom me# I

$ear" %eo%le yell- 6Man "own8 Man "own8 7ou can! cry wol in !$ese %laces or !$eyll lock you in

soli!ary# I !$ink !$ey call i! 6!$e $ole# 'ny$ow- even !$ou&$ i!s no! direct su%ervision- a "e%u!y is

s!a!ione" a! !$e en" o !$e corri"or in s$ou!in& "is!ance# ;ell- !$is &uy is escor!e" ou! an" $e $as all !$ese

!$in &as$es on $is ace# His bunkies claim $e &o! suici"al an" !ook !$e ra.or rom $is s$aver an" s!ar!e"

mu!ila!in& $imsel# 7ou know w$a! I !$ink- !$ou&$4 I !$ink $e was %u! in a cell wi!$ a ew rival &an&

members or some!$in&# I !$ink they "i" i! an" corrobora!e" a s!ory !o say $e sna%%e" an" "i" i! !o $imsel#5

Elwyn Hayes "u& in!o $is scramble" e&&s#7ou !$ink someone cu! ,aris Jackson u% rom !$e Illumina!i !$en claime" s$e "i" i! !o $ersel45

Ma!! s%rea" s!rawberry =elly on!o $is !oas! rom a small %acke!# i"s "o !$is s!u- !$ou&$# emi 6ovato

"i" s!u like !$a!#5

7ou &o! !o !$ink abou! i!# I you were really sen! $ere !o &e! an insi"e scoo%- you be!!er $ave

some kin" o al!erna!e version besi"es w$a! !$e mains!ream me"ia is %u!!in& ou!# T$a!s all Im sayin&#5

Elwyn %eele" oil rom $is %las!ic oran&e =uice cu%# He li!e" $is %las!ic s%oon# 7ou can! smoke

ci&are!!es in coun!y =ail bu! i you ever wen! !o s!a!e %rison- !$ese are mel!e" !o&e!$er !o make s$anks#5

;ow# I can! say I knew !$a!#5 Ma!! a!e an" "i"n! !alk a w$ole lo!# He wan!e" !o &e! ou! bu! a

na&&in& !$ou&$! ke%! cree%in& in!o $is min"- &onsider yourself lucky that you have an added life situation

under your belt. 4ou have another piece to the life pu%%le. 4ou,ll have a better idea of reality when you see

portrayals of this stuff on T8 # Ma!! "i"n! wan! !o like bein& w$ere $e was a!# This reminds me of the bear

hunting. / thought that would suck. /t didn,t suck. Ma!! scol"e" $imsel or allowin& $imsel !o !$ink !$a!

!$e bear $un!in& was a &oo" !$in&# What did 8ivian call the bear0 A sentient being. 'hame on me. Ma!!

looke" aroun" !$e "inin& area an" believe" !$ere was a weal!$ o nu!!y s!ories in !$e brains o eac$ %a!ien!

$e was ea!in& aroun"# He was curious# He wan!e" !o $ear w$a! !$ey $a" !o say# /f / saw any of these guys

with a cardboard sign on freeway off ramp# /,d probably yell at Jem to get a job #

'!er breakas!- Elwyn an" Ma!! walke" back !o !$eir room# T$is war" $as a %in& %on& !able- I

no!ice"#5 Elwyn %oin!e" "own !$e $all# 7ou %lay45

,in& %on&4 Im no! muc$ o an a!$le!e-5 Ma!! sai"#

@ive i! a !ry45 Elwyn &o! !o $is be" an" sa!#

7ea$# I su%%ose# I kin"a eel like colorin& !$in&s- !$ou&$# T$ey $ave cra!s#5 Ma!! looke" in!o

!$e ceilin& corner an" won"ere" i anyone was wa!c$in& rom !$e camera be$in" !$e c$arcoal semi"ome#

I<E bou&$! ?7/E- you know4 T$a!s !$e newlycrea!e" In!ercon!inen!al E9c$an&e bou&$! !$e



ancien! ?ew 7ork /!ock E9c$an&e# 'n"4 o"ak alls- ri&$!4 Been aroun" or a $un"re" years bu!

Ins!a&ram comes ou! o now$ere an" is %urc$ase" by acebook or a billion "ollars#5 Elwyn no!ice" !$a!

Ma!! always looke" conuse"# o you $ave any i"ea w$a! Im !alkin& abou!45

?o! really# oes !$is $ave !o "o wi!$ !alkin& mice45 Ma!! lai" "own an" s!are" a! !$e ceilin&#

;ere !alkin& abou! !$e Illumina!i- ri&$!4 T$is secre! socie!y orme" by Jo$ann '"am ;eis$au%!

in Bravaria !wo mon!$s beore T$omas Jeerson %ens !$e eclara!ion o In"e%en"ence4 ;$a! else

$a%%ens in 1CCG4 '"am /mi!$ releases A Wealth of 1ations in /co!lan"# 're you a connec!!$e"o!s kin"

o %erson- Ma!!4 Because you "on! look like you know w$a! Im sayin& $ere# ?7/E was knocke" ou!

an" o"ak crumbles# By w$o4 ?ew ki"s w$o know $ow !o use !$e in!erne!8 Maybe !$e Illumina!i isn!

!$e %roblem anymore# Maybe nine eleven was !$eir las! s!an" !o s!ay im%or!an!# Maybe !$ey me! !$e

e*uivalen! o I<E or Ins!a&ram# I o"ak was on !$e ball- they s$oul" $ave crea!e" Ins!a&ram# on! you

!$ink45

I $ave a %al>$es a %$o!o&ra%$er>an" $e !alks abou! all !$a! s!u# I "on! really care# I &o

abou! my lie# Ill never be !$e &uy w$o "eci"es !$a! %lanes will $i! skyscra%ers# Ill never "esi&n a "ea!$cam% in case millions o %eo%le !ake !o violen! c$ao!ic be$avior# Im no! !$a! &uy# I coul" see !$e "o!s

connec!e" i !$eyre %oin!e" ou! bu! I !ell you !$e !ru!$ !$a! I "on! care# I really "on! care# Aie is !ra&ic#

T$eres a &a.elle somew$ere &e!!in& c$om%e" by a lion# 'm I su%%ose" !o eel ba"4 I!s &oin& !o $a%%en

no ma!!er w$a! I "o#5 Ma!! !urne" rom $is back !o $is si"e# He !urne" away rom Elwyn an" won"ere" i

i! woul" come across as ru"e#

I you un"ers!an" lie- you can live be!!er# 7ou "on! $ave !o make !$e same mis!akes over an"

over# Have you ever been !o Aas +e&as4 T$eyre known or c$ea% bue!s- amon&s! o!$er !$in&s like

&amblin&# T$e bue!s are in !$e ar en" o !$e casinos# 'n"4 T$e res!rooms are never ri&$! ne9! !o !$e

bue!s# T$ese &uys !$a! %lan !$e layou!s make sure !$a! youre always walkin& %as! !$eir slo! mac$ines#

'n"4 T$e slo!s you $ave !o walk by always $ave !$e cra%%ier %ayou!s#5 Elwyn coul"n! see Ma!!s ace

bu! $e i&ure" !$ere was %robably s!ill bewil"ere" e9%ression on i!# I you un"ers!an" $ow !$e bi& wi&s

ri& our worl"- youre less a%! !o all in!o !$e !ra%s#5

Ma!! sa! u% !owar" Elwyn an" wasn! conuse"# r4 T$ey see you as a !$rea! an" screw u% your

lie or =us! knowing w$a! !$ey $ow !$ey o%era!e#5

7oure ri&$!- man# Im sorry# I s$oul"n! be sayin& any!$in&# '!er all- Im $ere wi!$ you insi"e

a %syc$ war" an" no! in some ri!.y cor%ora!e buil"in& in "own!own A'#5 T$is !ime- Elwyn lai" "own wi!$

is back !o Ma!!# Im &onna !ry !o &e! some slee% beore our !$era%y session#5

T$e Illumina!i is a!er all o us- Elwyn-5 Ma!! sai"# Bu! w$o cares4 Maybe !$e s%ace aliens are

&onna come in an" $el% us#5 Ma!! lai" "own on $is back a&ain# In a ma!!er o minu!es- bo!$ &uys were in

"ee% slee%# Ma!! $a" a "ream o le!c$er an" +iv# le!c$ was s!an"in& on a clou" "resse" in &reen !i&$!s

as Robin Hoo" an" !$ere was a a! bean s!alk risin& in!o !$e sky ri&$! ne9! !o $im# We did it - le!c$er !ol"

$im# We beat the /lluminati. They still e*ist but they have been contained and the 1eo /nternet 6eft is

victorious# +ivian was "resse" in a maroon be"la$ "ecora!e" wi!$ a*ua bea"s an" colorul se*uins# Her



!urban was mo"es! an" %ur%le# /$e wore a %ink veil over $er ace an" $er mi"ri was bare an" sli!$ere" u%

an" "own as $er $an"s reac$e" u%war" an" seeme" !o !oil wi!$ an invisible balloon above $er $ea"# /$e

was belly "ancin& bu! !$ere wasn! any music !o be $ear"# Ma!! aske" w$a! was !o become o $im# We

ride into the 'unset - le!c$er !ol" $im# 6ife has no more meaning #

le!c$er Browne an" +ivian /!ree!s s%en! an en!ire week "oin& various recrea!ional ac!ivi!ies on

<a!alina Islan"# T$ey ro"e !o <aliornias mainlan" on !$e same erry !$ey $a" been on seven "ays %rior#

T$ey !rie" !o block ou! everyone w$ile en=oyin& !ime !o&e!$er a&ain# +ivian c$ecke" $er emails an" !e9!

messa&es rom $er smar! %$one# <$eck !$is ou!# Tom really wen! a$ea" an" commi!!e" Ma!! !o an

ins!i!u!ion#5 /$e s$owe" le!c$er an email rom Tom# /$e !ook $er %$one back an" wen! !$rou&$ more

messa&es# Aook# Ma!! wro!e an" sai" $e was release" a!er seven!y!wo $ours# He says $es &oin& !o &e!

back a! Tom an" !$a! $e s$oul" wa!c$ ou!#5 /$e looke" !$rou&$ more messa&es an" no!ice" one rom $er

"a"# He "i"n! wri!e all !$a! o!en# /$e" $ear rom $im aroun" !$e $oli"ays an" maybe a cou%le o!$er

!imes "urin& !$e year# My "a" wan!s us !o mee! $im in +ancouver# He says !$a! some!$in& is &oin&

"own### bu! $e "oesn! say w$a! i! is# 'n"### ;eir"85;$a! is i!45 le!c$er aske"# T$ey were sea!e" ne9! !o eac$ o!$er insi"e !$e errys cabin#

6on! "o any $eroin8 ;$a! !$e uck is that 4 I "on! "o smack8 ;$a! !$e $eck4 He says !$eres

a ba" s!rain &oin& aroun" an" i!s "ea"ly#5

/omeones bein& se! u%# <obain $a" some!$in& like ei&$! !imes !$e le!$al "ose in $is sys!em

w$en $e was oun"# Mos! $ar" core users say !$eres no way $e coul" $ave ire" a &un a! $imsel wi!$ !$a!

muc$ in $is sys!em#5 le!c$er usually el! comor!able !alkin& o%enly abou! nine eleven in ron! o

s!ran&ers# T$is sub=ec! el! a bi! "ieren!# or some reason- $e el! eyes on $im rom o!$er re!urnin&

!ouris!s# I wa!c$e" Maury ,ovic an" !$ere were &uys w$o swore !$a! !$ey were &overnmen! a&en!s an"

!$ey $a" insi"e inorma!ion abou! all o i!#5

He says s!ay away rom ,ercoce!- !oo# 6T$e !wen!yirs! cen!ury mi&$! be known or !$e all o

na!ions an" rise o ci!ys!a!es# ;$a!s !$a! mean45 +ivian s$owe" $er %$one !o le!c$ a&ain#

Im sure $ell e9%lain i!#5 le!c$er &o! !o $is ee!# How abou! $ea"in& !o !$e "eck45

+ivian &o! u% wi!$ou! sayin& any!$in&# T$ey reac$e" Balboa- $ea"e" !o A'- !$en lew !o

+ancouver# ,eo%le !$ink abou! <olumbia an" link i! !o i!s cocaine !ra"e### an"- o course- 'hakira#

<olumbia %ro"uces o%ium- !oo- !$ou&$# T$e !o% !$ree o%ium %ro"ucers in !$e worl" are '&$anis!an-

Burma an" <olumbia#5 le!c$er was sea!e" ne9! !o !$e win"ow# '&$anis!an- !$ou&$- is !$e &rea!es!

%ro"ucer o $eroin# T$e 'merican Me"ical 'ssocia!ion once a%%rove" $eroin as a subs!i!u!e or mor%$ine

> this is just before World War / # In 1F1D- !$e 'M' re*uire" a %rescri%!ion an" in 1F2D !$e "ru& was

ou!lawe"#5 le!c$er no!ice" !$a! +ivian was "is!rac!e"# ;oul" you like !o !alk abou! !$is some o!$er

!ime4 7our "a" brou&$! u% $eroin so I i&ure" we s$oul" brus$ u% on !$e issue#5

ee% &oin&-5 +iv sai"# /$e wasn! in!eres!e"# /$e $a" !$is same eelin& w$en le!c$ wan!e" !o

&o !o <$ina !o c$eck on Baos!eel# /$e el! ine w$en s$e boar"e" !$e %lane bu! $er s!omac$ was &ivin& $er

i!s# /$e was sure !$a! i! wasn! any!$in& s$e a!e# Im lis!enin&#5



In 2001- !$e Taliban banne" !$e &rowin& o o%ium %o%%ies# In less !$an a year- !$ree *uar!ers o

!$e cro%s were &one# T$e :? an" /!even <as!eel rom !$e E' ma"e re%or!s on i! in !$e mon!$s beore

nine eleven# ;e kee% !$inkin& !$a! !$e wars in Ira* an" '&$anis!an were all abou! %e!roleum# T$e $eroin

!ra"e is wor!$ a $al !rillion "ollars %er year# T$is money in"s i!sel circula!e" !$rou&$ <i!ibank- <$ase

Man$a!!an an" Mor&an /!anley an" !$ese banks inves! in s!ocks like 'TVT- or" an" @eneral Elec!ric#5

le!c$er i&ure" !$a! +ivian $a" enou&$ "ru& !alk# He was &oin& !o c$an&e !$e sub=ec! bu! "eci"e" !o

s%eak#

;ebs!er Tar%ley4 Remember I was !ellin& you abou! a %lo! !o assassina!e Bus$4 Angel is ne*t #

Remember4 T$eory is !$a! Bus$ woul"ve &o! blown ou! o !$e sky i $e "i"n! ac*uiesce !o !$e Ro&ues in

!$e ,en!a&on# course- I believe now !$a! !$e Mossa" $a" muc$ !o "o wi!$ se!!in& !$e !error a&en"a### bu!

!$a!s a se%ara!e !o%ic# Bus$ $a" !o im%lica!e bin Aa"en an" !$e Taliban in or"er !o save $is neck-

accor"in& !o Tar%ley# T$e Mili!ary In"us!rial <om%le9 was &rowin& weary o $im because $e $a" alrea"y

%asse" u% a c$ance !o en&a&e <$ina in a conlic! a!er !$ey !ook one o our =umbo =e!s# Tar%ley sai" !$a!

Bus$ ma"e a call !o ,u!in on /e%!ember eleven!$ beore anyone im%lica!e" bin Aa"en# He !ol" ,u!in !$a!!$e :ni!e" /!a!es alrea"y "eci"e" !o inva"e '&$anis!an# ;e all know !$eres %e!roleum !$ere### bu! you

!$ink !$is $as !o "o wi!$ !$e :ni!e" /!a!es con!rollin& !$e $eroin "ru& !ra"e as well45 +ivian was !ire"# /$e

wan!e" slee%# T$is !alk was im%or!an! !o le!c$- !$ou&$# /$e s!ill care" abou! $im a!er all !$e years since

!$ey me! in $i&$ sc$ool#

I! makes sense is all# T$e :ni!e" ?a!ions $a" a %lan !o cur!ail !$e "ru& !ra"e# ;e all know $ow

muc$ !$e eli!e @, hates !$e :?# T$eyre always !$rea!enin& !o kick !$em ou! o ?ew 7ork because

!$eyre su%%ose"ly killin& our soverei&n!y# T$ese &uys are =okes- !$ou&$# ' lo! o !$ese "u"es are %ure

jokes# T$ey $a!e !$e E,' because !$ey like "um%in& !o9ic cra% in our lakes# T$ey $a!e /H' because

!$ey en=oy !rea!in& workers like slaves# 'n"4 7es8 Maybe !$ey $a!e !$e :ni!e" ?a!ions because !$ey were

s!o%%in& !$em rom makin& money in !$e $eroin !ra"e8 T$ere85 ' s!ewar"ess was makin& $er way u% !$e

aisle# le!c$ "i"n! believe" s$e $ear" any o !$e conversa!ion# I sai" i!85 ;$en s$e &o! in s%eakin&

"is!ance- le!c$ aske" w$a! !$e movie woul" be# He "i"n! really care# He =us! was rea"y !o !alk abou!

any!$in& new#

le!c$er an" +iv arrive" a! +ancouver In!erna!ional- ren!e" a re" +olkswa&en Bee!le- !$en $ea"e"

sou!$# '!er +ivian narrowly esca%e" !$e colla%se o !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el in Elko- s$e s%en! !ime wi!$

$er a!$er a! !$e +ancouver <lub# ;$en s$e $ea"e" !o Hun!in&!on !o sur%rise le!c$ on !$e 7ourth of =uly

!$a! s$e was alive- $er "a" ren!e" a *uain!- bo9y $ome near !$e beac$ in ;$i!e Rock# T$ey &o! !o $is %lace

a! aroun" si9 in !$e evenin&# le!c$er knocke" on !$e "oor an" +ivians a!$er o%ene" u%# Horace85

le!c$er $u&&e" +ivs a!$er# Aon& !ime- no see85

+ivians a!$er $a" silver $air bu! $e seeme" !o be in &oo" s$a%e# Horace sai"- ;ow8 I can!

remember seein& you wi!$ou! your mane8 ;$a! $a%%ene"45 le!c$er rubbe" $is s!ubby scal% bu! "i"n!

answer# 'n" my beau!iul "au&$!er85 Horace /!ree!s $el" +ivian !i&$!ly# <ome in85

T$e %lace wasn! lar&e# Horace was noma"ic like $is "au&$!er# He ren!e" $omes or a ew



mon!$s $ere an" a ew mon!$s !$ere# He like" !o !ravel !$e worl"# His wie s!o%%e" &oin& alon& on $is

a"ven!ures a ew years back an" remaine" a! !$e same /acramen!o $ome w$ere +ivian live" !$rou&$ou!

$i&$ sc$ool# ;$a! $ave you "one !o !$is %lace45 +ivian won"ere"# /$e looke" aroun" an" i! el! like s$e

s!e%%e" in!o a "ieren! era# T$ere were %os!ers o Elvis- James ean an" Marilyn Monroe# T$ere was a

velve! %or!rai! o "o&s %layin& %oker# How lon& are you &oin& !o s!ay $ere45

?ever un"eres!ima!e !$e %o!ency o c$ea% music#5 Horace walke" !o a !urn!able an" lowere" !$e

volume rom a Hollies vinyl recor"# Remember !$a!4 1oUl &oward # I !$ink i! a%%lies !o some visual ar!

as well# 7ou can! !$row classics like these away#5 Horace wan!e" !o si! "own an" make ice" coees or

$is "au&$!er an" $is %ossiblesome"aysoninlaw# Ins!ea"- $e le" !$em alon&- <ome see !$e "en# I $ave

relics $ere an" !$ere- bu!###5

le!c$er ollowe" Horace in!o !$e ne9! room# @ee.8 T$is is cool#5 T$e "en was se! u% like a

mini mo"ern library# To !$e le! was an am%le s$el o books# To !$e ri&$!- !$ere were various re!ro vi"eo

&ame sys!ems- eac$ wi!$ i!s own !$rowback connec!e" !ra"i!ional !ube !elevision# <en!er s!a&e ea!ure"

ano!$er books$el### e9ce%! !$a! !$ere weren! any books# T$e s$elves were mo"iie" !o $ol" a cou%le o$un"re" i,a"s s%ace" abou! one inc$ rom one ano!$er# I woul" never *ues!ion your =u"&men!### bu! isn!

!$is overkill45

I ma"e a &oo" "eal o my money !ra"in& ar! in !$e nine!een seven!ies an" ei&$!ies# I "i" well in

!$e real es!a!e marke! as well- an" I was or!una!e enou&$ !o inves! in cer!ain !elecommunica!ions s!ocks

w$en i! was im%or!an!# T$ese45 Horace walke" !o !$e back wall# Eac$ slo! $as a %ower connec!or so I

"on! $ave !o worry abou! any o !$em &oin& ou!#5 He re!rieve" one- !urne" i! on- !$en $an"e" i! !o $is

"au&$!er# +ivian4 T$is &uy was a EM' ins%ec!or a! @roun" ero on !$e "ay o nine eleven#5

This guy45 +ivian !ook !$e i,a" an" s!ar!e" navi&a!in&# ;$a! is !$is45

T$is &uy45 Horace rubbe" $is c$in# 7ea$# ;$a! I mean! !o say is### I "i"n! mean !o say !$e

i,a" is a &uy# 1o# I bou&$! !$ese !$in&s a! !o% "ollar rom scien!is!s- "oc!ors- %oli!icians- &overnmen!

a&en!s- ar!is!s- economis!s- u!uris!s- as!ronau!s- c$es- librarians an" $obos#5 Horace wai!e" or a reac!ion

or !$e inal !erm# Im ki""in& abou! !$e $obos# Eac$ one eels like a %erson !o me- !$ou&$- an" !$ey

answer a lo! o *ues!ions# Ive in!erviewe" %eo%le over !$e years an" I really believe !$is coul" be !$e wave

o !$e u!ure#5

y gosh85 +ivian s$owe" le!c$er some o !$e %$o!os# T$is is !$e mol!en s!eel !$a! burne" or

nine!ynine "ays# &lose up85

I $a" !$e i"ea abou! a year a&o# I s!ar!e" lookin& or %eo%le involve" in in!eres!in& even!s# I

$un!e" !$em "own an" I oere" $ar" cas$ or !$eir !able!s on !$e con"i!ion !$a! !$ey c$an&e no!$in& a! all#

/ome o !$em s!ill $ave varyin& amoun!s o %orn- by !$e way# I "i"n! erase any!$in&# I "i"n! mo"iy a

sin&le one#5 Horace wa!c$e" le!c$er $ea" !o !$e books$el o i,a"s# T$e !o% our s$elves are all i,a"s

an" !$e lower one $as a ew ?ooks- in"les an" ?e9us mo"els# I!s a weal!$ o inorma!ion be!!er !$an

any library Ive been in#5

le!c$er no!ice" small labels rom a !a%e &un in ron! o eac$ slo!# 7ou $ave a ew con&ressmen4



Holy cow85

I s!ay in <ana"a ri&$! now because I eel saer abou! $avin& !$ese !$in&s# +ivian was u% $ere a

cou%le o weeks a&o bu! we s!aye" in a $o!el# T$ese !$in&s $ave been in s!ora&e on !$e Eas! <oas! or a

ew mon!$s#5 Horace wa!c$e" le!c$ %ick one ou! an" swi%e i! o%en# 7ou can browse !$rou&$ w$ile I &e!

you &uys some ice" coee8 Hows !$a! soun"485

le!c$er was awes!ruck# He was scrollin& !$rou&$ %ic!ures o %oli!ical i&ures on $i&$en" "a!es

wi!$ slea.ylookin& women# Ill !ake mine s!rai&$! wi!$ou! cream- i !$a!s okay-5 le!c$er calle" ou!# He

con!inue" !o navi&a!e !$rou&$ !$e i,a" in $is $an" !o c$eck ou! !$e a%%s loa"e"# I! sai" some!$in& abou!

!$e ori&inal users %syc$olo&y# He el! slimy- or some reason# He el! like $e was &oin& !$rou&$

someones sock "rawer wi!$ou! %ermission# He el! &oo"- !$ou&$# /,m going to have peace of mind if /

stay here long enough# le!c$er navi&a!e" an" swi%e"#

+ivian re!urne" $er !able! !o i!s %ro%er %lace !$en s!ar!e" rea"in& !$e labels un"er !$e slo!s# /ome

o !$ese "evices aren! labele" wi!$ s%eciic names-5 s$e men!ione"# 6,rominen! !elevision %ersonali!y-

!$is one rea"s# !$ers4 6<elebri!y lawyer- 6ormer sena!or- 6orei&n recor"in& s!ar an" so on# Heres anin!eres!in& one# 6is!in&uis$e" $is!orian# I won"er w$a!s in !$is one#5

I be! i!s no! "iicul! !o in" ou! w$ere !$ey came rom# Maybe your "a" $as a lis! somew$ere#

"e,s got to have a list # <$eck !$e %$o!os# Everyone kee%s %ersonal %$o!os#5 le!c$er oun" an Everno!e

a%% an" s!ar!e" rea"in& !$e !e9! insi"e#

T$is &uys obviously a ,ro!es!an! minis!er delving in!o $is!ory# Hes !ryin& !o e9%lain nine eleven

!$rou&$ !$e eyes o Hebrews by usin& !$e Talmu" as a reerence# He $as %ic!ures o $an"wri!!en no!es#

T$is &uy says !$a! !$e ,$arisees- in !$e !ime o <$ris!- res%ec!e" Mosaic law# Thou shalt not kill - ri&$!4

T$e Ten <omman"men!s an" so or!$# He e9%lains !$a! i! wasn! a&ains! !$eir law- !$ou&$- !o !ie someone

u% in !$e "eser! an" leave 6im !o "ie because starvation woul" be !$e killer# T$ey &o! away wi!$ killin&

Jesus- accor"in& !o !$is &uy- by im%lica!in& $im on blas%$emy !$en le!!in& !$e Romans "o !$e killin&# Hes

claimin& !$a! !$e Mossa" use" !$e ,en!a&on !o wa&e war on !$eir 'rab enemies in !$e same manner o !$eir

cen!uriesol" in"irec! a!!acks#5 +ivian s$owe" le!c$ a %ic!ure o a min" ma% wri!!en on a yellow le&al

%a"# T$a! "ia&ram e9%lains i!- sor! o#5

Im im%resse" by !$e !$eory#5 le!c$er %u! !$e i,a" $e was lookin& !$rou&$ back on !$e s$el#

+ivian !ook back !$e !able! s$e $a" s$own le!c$# oes !$e Talmu" allow or a rabbi !o $ave

in!ercourse wi!$ !$reeyearol" emale4 'ccor"in& !o !$is &uy- i!s very s%eciic on !$a!#5

T$eres many cra.y laws !$ey $a"# In eu!eronomy- !$eyre su%%ose" !o wi%e !$e 'maleki!es

rom !$e ace o !$e %lane!# (enocide- ri&$!4 Hows i! a%%ly !o"ay4 ;ell- many o !$e !ribes aroun"

,ales!ine na!urally "issi%a!e" an" "isa%%eare"# I $ear" a Jewis$ ki" on in!erne! say !$a! !$e 'maleki!es-

now- are wi!$in# T$eyre !$e nas!y i"like orces w$ic$ com%el you !o "o ba" !$in&s#5 le!c$er scanne" !$e

i,a"s on !$e wall or some!$in& in!eres!in&# ne near !$e bo!!om sim%ly rea" 6'merica is @o".illa# He

o%ene" i!# ' mouse ea!s abou! !$ree !ables%oons a "ay- a $uman ea!s abou! ive %oun"s- an" an ele%$an!

ea!s abou! ive $un"re" %oun"s# ang 8 ive $un"re"s a lo!8 T$ey ea! or !$ree *uar!ers o !$e "ay8 How



muc$ "o you !$ink @o".illa woul" ea!- +ivian4 7ou know4 or $is si.e an" all45

i!y !ons4 I "on! know#5 +ivian con!inue" !o navi&a!e $er !able! rom !$e 6"is!in&uis$e"

$is!orian#

T$is &uy "oesn! know ei!$er# / don,t think he,s a pure scientist # Hes sayin& were "an&erous !o

!$e worl" sim%ly by w$a! we consume# Ecological footprint # T$a! kin" o !$in&#5 le!c$er swi%e"-

scrolle" an" e9%an"e"# I we a!e only ve&e!ables- we woul" re*uire seven !imes less armlan"#

In!eres!in&# <a!!le re*uire seven acres o &rain or everyone one acre !$a! same &rain woul" ee" !$e same

amoun! o %eo%le#5 le!c$er s$u! o !$e !able! an" looke" or more#

,aris Jackson# Remember we were !alkin& abou! $er4 T$eres %ic!ures !$a! s$e %os!e"# T$e

reemason com%ass !$e /kull ? Bones $ea" wi!$ a orein&er a! !$e mou!$ inerrin& !o s$us$ a /!ar o

avi" in a circle wi!$ a swor" insi"e an" !$e 6all seein& eye a! !o% an" some!$in& !$a! rea"s 6a%%ono

as!os# o you know any!$in& abou! i!4 T$eyre all $an""rawn an" since !$is !$in& came u% recen!ly- !$is

mus! be one o !$e newer i,a"s on !$e s$el#5 +ivian $an"e" !$e "evice !o le!c$er bu! $e "i"n! $ave any

commen!# ne o $er !wee!s ci!es $er "a"s son&- 6T$ey on! <are 'bou! :s- an" s$e says i! !ook $er aw$ile !o i&ure ou! w$o 6!$ey are#5 +ivian swi%e"# T$e lyrics !o !$a! son& are- 6Jew me- sue me-

everybo"y "o me### ick me- kike me- "on! you black or w$i!e me#5

I va&uely remember !$a! son&-5 le!c$er sai"# /%ike Aee %ro"uce" a cou%le o vi"eos or i!#

ne was in a %rison an" one was in Bra.il#5

Mic$ael Jackson $a" !o re!rac! $is lyrics an" rerecor" !$em so !$a! 6Jew me became 6"o me an"

6kike me became 6s!rike me# T$is !$in& says !$eres ano!$er son& on !$a! same album w$ere Bi&&ie

/malls says !$e nwor" bu! nobo"y ma"e a uss an" i! "i"n! $ave !o be c$an&e"# T$is &uys sayin& i!s

in"ica!ive o w$a! our worl"s become# ;e can! %ublicly *ues!ion Mossa" involvemen! in nine eleven

because youll be os!raci.e" as an an!i/emi!e or even suggesting !$ey mi&$!ve %laye" a role !$ere on any

level# He makes !$e wellknown connec!ion be!ween !$e Mossa" an" worl" ionis!s#5

;ell known by conspiracy theorists- "arlin&-5 le!c$er %oin!e" ou!#

7es# i" you know !$a! Joe Bi"en is a sel%roclaime" ionis!4 I remember "urin& !$e +,

"eba!e las! year !$a! $e s%oke abou! bein& <a!$olic> -aul 3yan did too# T$e &uy w$o %u! !$is !o&e!$er

says i!s wron& !o %resume !$a! all ionis!s are Jewis$### an" conversely- all Jewis$ %eo%le are no! ionis!s#5

7ou $ave a &ol"mine in your $an"s-5 le!c$er sai"# I &o! 6'merica is @o".illa an" you &o! !$e

key !o eli!e in!errela!ions85 le!c$er smile" an" kisse" +ivian#

$# T$is !$in& says !$a! !$e Talmu" re%or!s !$e mo!$er o Jesus !o be a whore# ;$a! !$e uck is

!$a!4 T$is seems anal re!en!ive !o me8 Is our worl" bein& blown u% because !$ese %syc$os can! le! i! &o48

How abou! !$is4 Have you $ear" o Maimoni"es4 '%%aren!ly- !$e Jewis$ %eo%le were locke" in

Babylonian or cen!uries a!er !$e crucii9ion o Jesus an" w$en !$ey inally in!e&ra!e" in!o Euro%e- !$ey

brou&$! morals wi!$ !$em less !$an w$a! !$e <$ris!ian worl" woul" acce%!# Maimoni"es $el%e" bri"&e

!$eir way o lie !o !$a! o !$e masses aroun" !$em# Hes known or !$e Thirteen -riciples of =ewish 7aith#

'n"45 /$e looke" !o see i le!c$er was %ayin& a!!en!ion# T$ere are !wo kin"s o Jews# T$a!s news !o



me# T$e 's$kena.i com%rise o abou! ei&$!yive %ercen! an" !$ey came rom !$e $a.ar kin&"om

be!ween !$e Black /ea an" !$e <as%ian /ea# unny !$in& is !$a! many o !o"ays an!$ro%olo&is!s believe

!$ey aren! e!$nic Jews a! all as "eine" by bein& rom !$e bloo"line o 'bra$am# T$eir lea"er- Bulan- lon&

a&o was %ressure" !o acce%! Islam or <$ris!iani!y so $e %icke" Ju"aism as !$e s!a!e reli&ion# T$ey

even!ually emi&ra!e" !o eas!ern Euro%e- mos!ly aroun" ,olan" an" @ermany#5 +iv c$ecke" on le!c$er

a&ain !$en wen! on- T$e secon" !y%e are /e%$ar"ic Jews w$o se!!le" aroun" /%ain# T$ere was an e"ic!

bannin& %oly&amy !$a! !$e 's$kena.i acce%!e" bu! !$e /e%$ar"ic resis!e"# In!eres!in&- e$45 /$e !urne" o

$er !able! an" %lace" i! back in i!s %lace#

I ac!ually un"ers!oo" !$ere are three kin"s o Jews-5 le!c$er sai"#

+ivian smile"# "e,s usually not a racist. /s he telling a joke4 7ea$4 ;$a!s !$e !$ir"45 /$e

love" $im an" wan!e" !o $ear w$a! $e $a"#

?o# 7ou were !alkin& abou! e!$nic branc$es# T$e !$ree reli&ious "enomina!ions are

<onserva!ive- Reorm an" r!$o"o9#5 le!c$er no!ice" sub!le wrinkles on +ivs ore$ea"# He a"ore" $er

conuse" look#le!c$er8 I !$ou&$! you were &oin& !o !ell me a %unc$ line### like !$e !$ir" kin" are rabbis !$a!

"rink in bars wi!$ %ries!s an" minis!ers85 /$e sla%%e" $im li&$!ly on $is c$es! !$en kisse" $is c$in#

Here comes your "a"#5 le!c$er !urne" +ivian aroun"#

I "eci"e" !o make some san"wic$es !o &o wi!$ !$e coee#5 Horace /!ree!s carrie" a silver !ray#

He se! i! "own ne9! !o !$e vi"eo &ame consoles#

?o worry# ;e were &oin& !$rou&$ some o !$ese i,a"s an" !$eres a lo! o in!eres!in& s!u#5

le!c$er ollowe" +ivian !o !$e !ray# le!c$er %icke" u% a &rille" c$eese an" bi! in#

;$a!s &oin& on wi!$ ki"s nowa"ays- "a"4 I eel like I s$oul" know because Im youn&erbu!###

T$eres a collec!ive ma"ness- !$ere# ,aris Jackson an" Ain"say Ao$an are bo!$ in a orm o re$ab#

'man"a Bynes is s%o!!e" all over !$e %lace lookin& like s$es ou! o $er min"# I know !$ey $ave !o live in

a "ieren! circums!ance !$an me an" le!c$erbu!###5 +ivian /!ree!s coul"n! make sense ou! o w$a! $a"

become o socie!y# /$e %icke" u% $er own &rille" c$eese an" wai!e" or $er a!$er !o e9%lain#

I was a ki" in !$e si9!ies an" i! was a !ime !$a! no one !rus!e" !$e &overnmen!# Every!$in& was

Bi& Bro!$er- Bi& Bro!$er- Bi& Bro!$er back !$en# I wasn! *ui!e ol" enou&$ or !$e colle&e si! ins bu! I

remember !$e %ro!es!s a&ains! +ie!nam an" !$e marc$es or womens ri&$!s an" so or!$# To"ay4 T$e ki"s

$ave seeme" !o &ive Bi& Bro!$er a name8 /lluminati# I!s no! =us! ,aris Jackson# Ra%%ers like Jay an"

,ro"i&y $ave been linke" some$ow# T$e in!erne! scru!ini.es ki"s !o"ay like no ones ever been scru!ini.e"

bu! !$eres a li% si"e# ;ere able !o see be$in" !$e walls# T$eres so muc$ inorma!ion !$a! we can say

wi!$ cer!ain!y w$o Bi& Bro!$er !alks !o- w$ere $e slee%s a! ni&$!- an" w$a! $e %lans !o "o wi!$ re&ular

%eo%le#5 Horace "rank $is ice" coee#

7oure ric$- "a"# I kee% comin& across !$ese si!ua!ions w$ere someones %re!en"in& !o be one

!$in& an" !urns ou! !o be !$e o%%osi!e# 7ou woul" !ell me i you were one o !$ese &uys- woul"n! you45

+ivian $u&&e" $er "a"#



Ive been invi!e" !o mee! wi!$ !$e <arlyle @rou%# 7ouve $ear" o !$em %robably4 'll I can say

is !$eres an a&en"a# I you like i!> most of them do >!$eres no %roblem an" you ska!e alon&# I you "on!

a&ree wi!$ every!$in& &oin& on- !$e bes! you can $o%e or is !o sli&$!ly ben" !$a! %a!$# I you "evia!e !oo

ar- you &e! !$rown ou! on your bu!!# I !$ink ubya wen! !oo ar- by !$e way# Im no! sure $is!ory will see

$im kin"ly### an" i!s !$ese <arlyle &uys !$a! %re%are !$e $is!ory books sen! !o %ublic sc$ools#5 Horace

kisse" $is "au&$!er on !$e ore$ea"# /$e wen! back !o $er san"wic$ !$en Horace con!inue"- I!s a mess#

;ere runnin& %lans !$a! "iscoura&e ma&ical !$inkin& an" reli&ion in &eneral# T$ere are barons relyin& on

massive wars in or"er !o remain ric$# '! some %oin!- some!$in&s &o!!a &ive# ;ere &oin& !o s!ar! !earin&

eac$ o!$er u%#5

Ive alrea"y seen !$e cracks# I mean- w$en Herman Eic$elber&er blew u% <ornelius /!uar! in !$a!

Elko casino- I knew !$ere were %roblems# T$a!s no! su%%ose" !o $a%%en- ri&$!45 le!c$er inis$e" $is

&rille" c$eese an" reac$e" or $is black ice" coee#

;ell !$eres many- many issues bu! we can! &e! !o 6em all ri&$! now# I &o! wor" !$a! some!$in&s

&oin& "own in +ancouver !$is week# I! $as !o "o wi!$ $eroin an" ,aciic Rim# ee% in min"- 6,aciic Rimis a movie %remierin& !$is week### bu! i!s also a $o!el# I "on! know w$a!s &onna $a%%en bu! !$ese

mys!erious !i%s I &e! usually lea" somew$ere#5 u!si"e- li&$!nin& las$e" an" a ew secon"s la!er-

!$un"ere" &rowle"# I really like rainy wea!$er# Horace walke" !o !$e "ens win"ow an" wa!c$e" webs o

li&$! come rom !$e sky# I! comes an" &oes all year over $ere#5

7ou wan! us !o s!ay a! !$e ,aciic Rim- "a"4 ;$a! "o you wan! us !o "o4 i&ure ou! w$a!s

&oin& "own an" s!o% i!4 ;ai! un!il some!$in& $a%%ens an" !$en "ocumen! i!4 ;$a!s !$e %lan45 +ivian

s!are" ou! o !$e win"ow wi!$ $er a!$er# T$un"er %oun"e" an" !$e a!mos%$ere li! u% bri&$!ly#

irs!- s!ay away rom $eroin# I know you $ave a &oo" $ea" on your s$oul"ers an" you know

be!!er# ;$a! Im s%eciically sayin& is "on! &o in!o !$e alleys w$ere i!s sol"# on! &o !o bars an" !ake

"rinks rom s!ran&ers# I eel i! in my bones !$a! some!$in&s unusual ou! !$ere#5 Horace !urne" back

!owar" le!c$er# 7ou !ake care o my "au&$!er an" "on! le! $er ou! o your si&$!#5

le!c$er $a" s!ar!e" ins%ec!in& an '!ari 2G00# He !urne" $is a!!en!ion !owar" Horace an" sai"-

7es sir# I always "o### e9ce%! w$en s$e was almos! blown u% in !$e ,aul Bunyan### bu! I un"ers!an"# Ill

kee% $er by my si"e#5

I "on! !$ink o mysel as paranoid # I I was wron& abou! my $unc$es- I" =us! remain *uie!# I

like !o !$ink Im hypersensitive some!imes# I !$ink !$is is one o !$ose !imes wor!$ !alkin& abou!#5 Horace

s$u! !$e "ra%es# Even !$ou&$ $e like" !$e rain- !$is su""en s!orm was a bi! muc$#

7ou can mee! me $ere or lunc$ "urin& !$e "ay bu! I" like you &uys !o c$eck ou! !$e ,aciic Rim

Ho!el a! ni&$!# T$eres a &rea! s$ore ou! !$ere an" I like !$is area or !$e scenery#5 Horace /!ree!s looke" a!

!$e silver !ray# 'll !$e san"wic$es were &one an" !$e coee mu&s were em%!y# ;oul" you like more

coee45

' week a!er le!c$ an" +ivian arrive" in +ancouver- !$ey were back in sou!$ern <aliornia# T$ey

"ouble "a!e" wi!$ E""ie <ally%so an" ?ancy Moore a! Rubys a! !$e en" o !$e Hun!in&!on %ier# I! was



wil"-5 +ivian sai"# T$ey $a" wai!e" more !$an a $al $our !o be sea!e"# ;e &o! !o +ancouver las! ri"ay-

we visi!e" my a!$er- !$en we c$ecke" in!o !$e ,aciic Rim Ho!el# ;e "i"n! know w$a! was su%%ose" !o

$a%%en bu! I coul" eel some!$in& in !$e air# My "a" sai" !o s!ay away rom bars so me an" le!c$ cau&$! a

movie# @uess w$a! we saw45

;$a!45 ?ancy aske"#

-acific 3im8 unny- $u$4 'n" !$e ne9! "ay is w$en <orey Mon!ei!$ was oun" "ea"# My "a"

sai" !o s!ay away rom $eroin> like / was gonna look for a new habit of some kind >an" I knew i! ri&$!

away# T$e news la!er re%or!e" !$a! i! was a combo o alco$ol wi!$ $eroin !$a! "i" i!# T$ere were ki"s

yellin& abou! Hea!$ Ae"&er- River ,$oeni9- Jona!$an Bran"is- <orey Haim an" Bra" Renro# T$ere was a

bu.. abou! !$e in!erview Mon!ei!$ $a" a ew years a&o w$en $e men!ions <ana"ian Illumina!i# T$ey

brou&$! u% "ea" musicians like 'my ;ine$ouse- Mike /!arr- Aayne /!aley- ur! <obain- /$annon Hoon-

an" Bra"ley ?owell# ?o one w$ere we were believe" i! was acci"en!al# ;as i! !$e <I'4 T$e Illumina!i4

I "on! know#5

Tom Mcay sen! Ma!! on a i!yone i!y $ol" !$e "ay a!er !$e our!$# 7ou %robably &o! !$emessa&e- ri&$!4 ;ell- Tom seems !o be easin& in!o !$e s%o! <ornelius $a"# I you never came back- +iv- I

!$ink le!c$er woul"ve $a" !$e %osi!ion### bu! !$e brass i&ure" you" be !ravelin& a&ain# /o !o me- Toms

a youn&er- cra%ier version o <ornelius#5 E""ie <ally%so !ook a ew secon"s !o in&es! some o $is clam

c$ow"er# T$eres &oin& !o be a +ans surin& com%e!i!ion $ere ne9! week# Tom wan!s !o "o a li!!le social

e9%erimen!# urin& !$e 2000 elec!ion- you mi&$! remember !$a! ?B< calle" lori"a or @ore# ;e all

know !$e &is! o $ow !$a! !urne" ou! bu! some o !$e "e!ails are o!en misse" by !$e avera&e %erson#

@eor&e ; Bus$ $a" a cousin workin& or o9 ?ews on !$a! elec!ion ni&$!# His name is Jo$n ,resco!! Ellis

an" he,s !$e one w$o calle" lori"a or Bus$# T$is cause" ?B< !o re!rac! i!s call an" !$is crea!e" s!ron&

momen!um# our minu!es la!er- ?B<- <B/- 'B< an" <?? all calle" lori"a or Bus$# T$e 'ssocia!e"

,ress was !$e lone ma=or $ol"ou!# By !$e mi""le o !$e ni&$!- everyone $a" recan!e" on !$e lori"a

%ro=ec!ion# ;eve all $ear" abou! c$a"s- bu!!erly ballo!s- black emocra!s !urne" away### an" iebol"

mac$ines %u!!in& ou! numbers no one coul" believe# 'n"4 ;e all know !$a! members o !$e me"ia were

&iven !$e ballo!s !o coun! even a!er @ore conce"e"# ;e know !$ey conclu"e" a! aroun" !$e !ime o nine

eleven !$a! @ore clearly $a" more vo!es# i" !$e me"ia cover !$e conlic! o in!eres! a! o9 ?ews4 ?o#

oes anyone know !$a! i! was conirme" !$a! @ore was oun" !o $ave more vo!es4 Har"ly anyone#5

;$a!s !$e e9%erimen!45 Even !$ou&$ i! !ook lon&er !$an mos! %laces !o be sea!e"- le!c$er like"

!$e a!mos%$ere a! Rubys# He believe" i! was wor!$ !$e wai!#

T$e me"ia rarely $i!s i! on !$e $ea" anymore# I "on! know w$y# T$ere are cor%ora!e in!eres!s in

!$e orm o commercial s%onsors# T$en4 ;$y no! milk some!$in& ou!4 7ou coul" $ave all !$e ac!s in

ron! o you bu! unless o!$er ne!works are s$oo!in& !$eir wa"s- w$y lay i! all on !$e !able in one ull swoo%4

7ou coul" s!rin& a &oo" s!ory ou! or months i you really wan!e" !o# Maybe !$eres a bu""y sys!em a!

work# Is ?B< &onna s!ar! a ull blown war wi!$ o9 ?ews4 T$ey $ave more in common wi!$ eac$ o!$er

!$an !$ey $ave wi!$ or"inary %eo%le# Tom wan!s !o inci!e a rio! usin& some o our &uys# Hes sure Ma!!



woul" be on boar" an" $e wan!s !o use Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon# Hes almos! sure !$e me"ias &onna blame

!$e "runk youn&s!ers crow"in& Main /!ree!#5

T$a! soun"s nu!s#5 +ivian "i"n! $ave a bi& a%%e!i!e an" only or"ere" ries# /$e was %ickin& a!

!$em# ' lo! o !$is is !oo muc$ or me an" I "on! wan! !o be aroun" w$en i! $a%%ens# I can !ake so muc$

o !$is neuro!ic be$avior or only so lon&#5

Im wi!$ you- %recious#5 le!c$ %a!!e" +ivs knee# Ae!s &o ar away beore we &e! sucke" in!o

some!$in& $orribly s!u%i"#5

?ancy45 E""ie aske"# o you wan! !o be $ere w$en !$e cra% $i!s !$e an45

?o# I" like !o &o !o Aake Havasu# Hows !$a!45 /$e was inis$e" wi!$ $er oo" an" was rea"y

!o leave#

/oun"s &oo"# o you &uys wan! !o =oin45 E""ie aske"#

;ere &onna $ea" back !o our $o!el an" !$ink abou! i!# Ri&$! $oney45 le!c$ wasn! sure w$ere

+ivian woul" wan! !o &o#

Back !o !$e $o!el4 7es# ;ell le! you know la!er !oni&$!# 're you &uys rea"y !o leave45 +ivianwas s!ill !$inkin& abou! +ancouver# T$ey %ai" !$eir bill !$en walke" !o&e!$er alon& !$e %ier#

In !$e las! /un"ay o July- +ans $el" i!s annual sur com%e!i!ion in Hun!in&!on near !$e same %ier

w$ere E""ie- ?ancy- +ivian an" le!c$er s!rolle" alon& a ew "ays beore# 7oun& a"ul!s were "rinkin&

$eavily an" mean"erin& u% an" "own Main /!ree!# /$a.bo!- Ma!! an" Tom "ine" on !$e secon" s!ory o a

co.y res!auran!# Ma!! aske" Tom- o you wan! me !o "o i!4 /$oul" I !$row !$is45 He $el" u% a bo!!le o

ke!c$u%# Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon are "own !$ere# T$eyre &onna !alk bi& cra% w$en i! lan"s#5

;ai!85 Tom looke" back# ' bus boys !akin& some %la!es# ;ai! un!il###5

Ma!! &o! u%# He $a" a ew beers $imsel an" wan!e" !o be "own wi!$ !$e vibran! ac!ion# He

$an"e" $is ke!c$u% bo!!le !o a $airy surer a! !$e ne9! !able# T$row !$is- man8 T$ey want you !o#5

T$e surer &uy $ucke" !$e bo!!le in!o !$e crow" below# /omeones !ryin& !o kill us85 Ramon

yelle"# 7uck this shit 85 Beore lon&- "u"es were i&$!in& eac$ o!$er- knockin& !$eir ways in!o s$o%s an"

kickin& %or!a %o!!ies# Tom wa!c$e" rom above an" calmly a!e $is bur&er# /$a.bo! was amuse"# Ma!!

!rie" !o or"er ano!$er beer bu! mana&emen! was %anickin& an" wasn! sure $ow !o $an"le !$e si!ua!ion#

T$e ni&$!ly news woul" ea!ure local resi"en!s blamin& unruly youn& "runk ou!o!owners#

le!c$er an" +iv $a" "eci"e" !o &o !o Aake Havasu wi!$ ?ancy an" E""ie# T$e cou%les s!aye" in se%ara!e

rooms a! !$e E"&ewa!er Ho!el# le!c$ an" +iv cu""le" in a be" an" wa!c$e" M/?B<# <ra%8 T$ose

%syc$os wen! a$ea" an" "i" i!### and they,re on national T8 8 Is !$a! my ne%$ew45 +ivian &o! u% an" &o!

close !o !$e !elevision# $ boy85

+ivian4 I !$ink !$eyre !ryin& !o "esensi!i.e us# T$is4 I!s =us! a re&ular "ay or me# Im numb#

I really am#5 le!c$er remaine" on $is back an" en=oye" !$e so!ness o $is %illow# These are really great

pillows- $e !$ou&$!# "ow many hotels have / been to this year0 These might be the best # He calle" ou!-

+ivian4 T$ey $ave ren!al =e! skies "owns!airs# o you !$ink youll be u% or i! !omorrow45

What planet is this4 s$e won"ere"# 7ea$# I know w$a! youre !alkin& abou!# Jus! ano!$er "ay a!



!$e oice85 /$e came back rom !$e T+# Ill =e! ski wi!$ you#5 /$e %u! $er $ea" on le!c$s c$es! an"

!rie" !o slee%#

In ano!$er room in !$e E"&ewa!er Ho!el- E""ie <ally%so an" ?ancy Moore were $avin& a %oli!ical

conversa!ion# T$e !elevision $a"n! been on so !$ey were unaware o !$e ruckus in Hun!in&!on# le!c$er

was sayin& !$a! !$e Mossa" worke" wi!$ Ro&ues in !$e ,en!a&on !o $i=ack our coun!ry on nine eleven# I!s

been more !$an !en years an" were s!ill !ryin& !o i&ure !$ese !$in&s ou!#5 E""ie i""le" wi!$ a cou%le o

ive "ollar casino c$i%s# ;$en I irs! me! you- we $i! i! o bu! you seeme" reluc!an! !o !alk abou! !$ese

!ouc$y issues#5

?ancy $a" been !$umbin& !$rou&$ a broc$ure o local ac!ivi!ies an" se! i! on !$e !able# I never

saw any use in !alkin& abou! !$ese !$in&s# I always i&ure" !$a! i! was someone elses %roblem### an"

someone I" never mee! woul" !ake care o i!# Ive seen your an"roi" rien"- /$a.bo!- !$ou&$# I s!ar!e"

!$inkin& !$a! maybe I should care because maybe I can c$an&e !$in&s a li!!le#5 /$e o%ene" $er $an"ba&

an" %ulle" ou! some cream an" a small mirror# /$e s!ar!e" removin& $er makeu%#

I !$ink !$a! !$e Bus$ amily is ull o bi.arre con!ra"ic!ions# @eor&e H; Bus$s "a"- ,resco!!Bus$- "eal! wi!$ ?a.i businessmen an" was sue" by a cou%le o 'usc$wi!. slaves# His asse!s were sei.e"

in 1FD2 un"er !$e Trading with the Enemy Act # 7e!- ,resco!! Bus$s son was !$e youn&es! i&$!er in !$e 'ir

orce "urin& ;orl" ;ar II# H; &oes on !o be %resi"en! an" says- 6Rea" my li%s# ?o new !a9es# He raises

!a9es a&ains! $is %romise bu! some %eo%le saw $im as a war $ero or s!ymiein& /a""am Hussein "urin& !$e

irs! @ul ;ar# His cri!ics- !$ou&$- believe" $e s$oul"ve &one in!o Ba&$"a" an" inis$e" !$e =ob an" $e is

no! reelec!e"# "e,s a humiliated one$termer # 'lon& comes his son- ;- as !$e vercom%ensa!ion in&#

,aul ?eil was $is /ecre!ary o !$e Treasury an" claime" !$a! ; Bus$ in!en"e" !o inva"e Ira* way beore

nine eleven# or w$a!4 To i9 w$a! $is "a" was cri!ici.e" or8 'n"4 T$e inamous 6Bus$ !a9 cu!s8 T$ey

were irres%onsible an" skyrocke!e" our "eb!# He %asse" Me"icare %ar! B wi!$ou! a me!$o" !o un" i!#

/ame wi!$ !$e bor"er ence an" our wars in '&$anis!an an" Ira*# T$ey "i"n! &ive a $eck abou! iscal

res%onsibili!y# T$ey wan!e" !$e me"ia !o re%ea! 6Bus$ !a9 cu!s over an" over so !$e %ublic woul" or&e!

!$a! ;s a!$er reneged # T$en !$eres !$e ac! !$a! sama bin Aa"ens sis!er- 'alem bin 6aden- $el%e"

inance ; Bus$s %e!roleum com%any- 'rbus!o- "urin& !$e seven!ies8 ;$a! !$e s$i!- ri&$!45 E""ie

wa!c$e" !$e makeu% come o ?ancys ace# /$e looke" &oo" plain and simple !o $im# He won"ere" w$y

s$e "i"n! &o ou! more o!en lookin& like s$e was now lookin& in ron! o $im# sama bin Aa"en- as Tim

Osman- !oure" 'merican mili!ary bases### an" many %eo%le believe $e was brou&$! in!o !$e ;$i!e House#

T$is is ri&$! beore !$e elec!ion in ei&$!yei&$!#5

i" you know !$a! Ail ;ayne broke Elvis ,resleys recor" or Billboar" Ho! 100 $i!s45 ?ancy

Moore !urne" aroun" !owar" E""ie# /$e con!inue" !o wi%e $er c$eeks wi!$ a w$i!e %a%ery circular "isc#

Maybe !$ere was a cons%iracy by !$a! Illumina!i !$in& !o %u! $im in re$ab wi!$ ba" si..ur%8 7ou know

$ow le!c$ an" +iv !$ink someone mi&$!ve %ur%osely &iven Mon!ei!$ ba" $eroin45 ?ancy !urne" back

!owar" $er mirror#

7ea$4 I never !$ou&$! o !$a!#5 E""ie was bale" or a ew secon"s an" !rie" !o remember $is



%revious !rain o !$ou&$!# Im almos! sure- !$ou&$- !$a! Israeli in!elli&ence collu"e" wi!$ !$e Bus$ amily

a!er nine eleven# That,s the contradiction# right 4 ,resco!! Bus$ was a ?a.i su%%or!er8 His son an"

&ran"son were close !o !$e bin Aa"ens### an" !$en sama becomes %ublic enemy number one85 E""ie

wa!c$e" ?ancy %u! $er cream an" mirror back in!o $er $an"ba&#

/$e sa! ne9! !o E""ie on $is be"# @uess w$a! else4 (lee %asse" !$e Bea!les or number o Ho!

100 $i!s8 <orey Mon!ei!$ san& or !$e s$ow- (lee- you see4 T$ese ol" &ee.ers "on! like !$eir icons !aken

"own# 'm I ri&$!4 T$ey kille" Mon!ei!$ wi!$ $eroin because $e "i"n! &e! wi!$ !$e %ro&ram8 oes !$a!

make sense45 ?ancy %us$e" E""ie on!o $is back an" slinke" $er way on !o $im#

7ou know45 E""ie <ally%so was $a%%y wi!$ $is lie# He like" ?ancy bu! $e was arai" o likin&

$er !oo muc$# He wasn! sure w$ere $is ear was comin& rom# I !$ink youre ri&$!8 James Brown was

arres!e" or !ryin& !o !ake a %iss in $is own com%any buil"in&8 Hes %re!!y $i&$ on !$a! Ho! 100 lis!85

Hes dead - !oo85 ?ancy sai"# /$e kisse" E""ie on $is s!ernum# T$ose %syc$o!ic Illumina!i

&uys %robably "i" i!- $u$485

7es# I! makes all !$e sense in !$e worl"#5 E""ie kisse" ?ancy back# T$ey sle%! well !$a! ni&$!#T$e !wo cou%les me! a! seven in !$e mornin& a! !$e E"&ewa!ers breakas! bue!# T$e &als

"eci"e" !$ey" lay ou! a! !$e %ool an" !$e &uys "eci"e" !$ey" ren! =e! skis# T$ey ar!e" aroun" !$e wa!er

!$en woun" u% res!in& on !$e ar en" o !$e lake s$ore# E""ie aske" le!c$er- ;$a! $a%%ene" a! !$e ,aul

Bunyan Ho!el4 7ou &uys &losse" over i!# Is !$ere some!$in& I s$oul" know45

I youre askin& i i! woul" $a%%en a&ain- Im no! really sure# I hope no!#5 le!c$er was wearin&

"ark sun&lasses w$ic$ were s!ra%%e" on wi!$ elas!ic# He lowere" !$em !o $is neck# I !$ink !$ey wan!e" !o

scare both o us# I !$ink !$ese wil" &overnmen! e"s wan!e" me !o &o s!rai&$! an" !$ey wan!e" +ivian !o

s!o% enablin& me# That,s why / cut my hair # T$ey sai" !$ey $a" a %osi!ion or me bu! I" $ave !o clean u%#5

le!c$er looke" across !$e wa!er an" a"mire" !$e view o !$e casinos# +ivian $a" a sur%rise or me ri&$!

beore !$e w$ole "emoli!ion e%iso"e# 'he thought she was pregnant # ;e $a" a !alk abou! i! a cou%le o

weeks a&o in <a!alina# /$e barely esca%e" !$e ,aul Bunyan im%losion by !$e skin o $er !ee!$# T$e ne9!

"ay- s$e s!ar!e" s%o!!in& a&ain# /$e wasn! sure i !$e s!ress cause" $er !o miscarry or i s$e was =us! la!e on

$er %erio"#5

$ man85 E""ie !ook o $is lie ves! an" sa! "own on !$e san"# T$a!s big 8 I coul"ve been an

uncle85 He looke" u% a! le!c$er# 'n unofficial uncle- o course#5

I wan! !o se!!le "own> / really do >bu! Im s!ar!in& !o won"er abou! fate# I never !$ou&$! !oo

muc$ abou! a!e- you know4 Im s!ar!in& !o won"er abou! callings# Maybe i!s no! our fate !o be %aren!s###

or even marrie"# Maybe we $ave a calling !o "o some!$in& else#5 le!c$ !ook o $is own ves! an" sa!#

T$ere are minis!ers in !$ose buil"in&s over !$ere85 E""ie %oin!e" across !$e lake# 7ou can be

marrie" by noon i ya wan! i!85

I!s no! &onna $a%%en- &uy# I can see !$e u!ure# ;e" &e! marrie" !$en Herman Eic$elber&er- or

some other nut - is &onna ki"na% us8 T$eyre &oin& !o !ie us !o lo&s an" leave us !o be sli! in !wo by lar&e

lumber bla"es8 T$ose "u"es are !$a! reaky85 le!c$er "eci"e" !$e san" was !oo $o!# He scoo!e" !owar"



!$e s$allow wa!er an" sa! in i!#

I kee% !$inkin& !$a!- a! any &iven momen!- my "a"s &onna call me# 6'on. "igh school starts

ne*t week: 4ou better start wrapping up your vacation: 'no!$er %ar! o me believes !$e "ollar is &oin& !o

colla%se a! any &iven momen! an" were &oin& !o be !ra%%e" in a civil war#5 E""ie "u& $is ee! in!o !$e

warm san"#

I "on! know w$a! !o make ou! o lie# I can! %re"ic! i!# I wis$ I coul"#5 le!c$er was &la" !o be

away rom Hun!in&!on# He ke%! !$inkin& abou! !$e "is!urbance $e saw on !$e news# He "i"n! !alk abou!

i!- !$ou&$# Ins!ea"- !$ey con!em%la!e" a baseball connec!ion wi!$ !$e Illumina!i# Ryan Braun was

sus%en"e" an" !alk was !$a! !$ere woul" be many more# le!c$er believe" !$e rules o lie were becomin&

more an" more arbi!rary# T$e baseball si!ua!ion was =us! an ou!war" relec!ion o i!# ,layers were

%ressure" !o %erorm more bu! !$ey were su%%ose" !o kee% !$e same a&eol" me!$o"s# T$e $orri" economy

wasn! =us! aec!in& re&ular %eo%le# '!er !$e (reat 3ecession- &ian!s buckle" an" some !umble"# le!c$er

won"ere" i !$e mass sus%ensions were =us! a way !o &e! ou! o %ayin& $i&$ salaries !o me&as!ars# E""ie

won"ere" abou! !$e s%or!s almanacs an" !$e recor"s in !$e books# I !$ey s!ri%%e" Aance 'rms!ron& o $is!i!les in bikin&- woul" or coul" !$ey "o !$a! !o Mark Mc@wire4 ;$a! abou! !eams !$a! won !$e ;orl"

/eries4 Aie was a mess an" s%or!s serve" as !$e anec"o!e !o come !o &ri%s wi!$ new a!!i!u"es an"

"ilemmas# le!c$ an" E""ie &o! back on !$eir =e! skis w$en !$e /un became !oo muc$ !o $an"le# T$ey

$ea"e" back across#

?ancy an" +ivian loun&e" a! %oolsi"e an" wa!c$e" !$eir men ri"e in# In Hun!in&!on- Tom Mcay

!ook over !$e beac$ ren!al w$ere !$e Tro=an $orse was %u! on our!$ o July# Ma!! /!ubbs- Ta" /!ree!s-

Ramon Jo$anson an" Bren! Hoover sa! aroun" %layin& ,/3# /$a.bo! an" ina$ i9e" cock!ails# Tom came

in rom !$e %a!io wi!$ a !ray o &rille" bur&ers# Ma!!4 7ou "i" &oo" work in !$a! :<A' men!al acili!y8 I

wan! !o sen" you on a new assi&nmen!#5

Ma!! was sea!e" In"ian s!yle on !$e loor an" wai!e" $is !urn or 3ed ead 3edemption# /$a.bo!

!$inks youre "oin& !$is s!u or your own amusemen!# He sai" no! !o le! you "o any!$in& like !$a! a&ain#

-eople are gonna think /,m really loony if / keep getting committed #5

/$a.bo!4 Hes a robo!85 Tom looke" over !o !$e bar# /$a.bo! ke%! abou! crus$in& ice in a

blen"er# He "oesn! know $ow !$e <I' is su%%ose" !o work 8 'man"a Bynes was %icke" u% a ew "ays

a&o or li&$!in& a ire in a "riveway# I wan! !o "ro% you o nake" in T$ousan" aks somew$ere### just like

we did a few weeks ago#5

?o8 Im no! "oin& i!85 Ma!! &o! u% an" a%%roac$e" /$a. a! !$e bar# 7ou $ave my back- ri&$!4

7ou won! le! Tom do !$is a&ain85

Tom4 I can! say I believe i! woul" benei! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen! !o ins!i!u!ionali.e

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs# Ive %rocesse" !$e "a!a an" !$e liabili!ies ou!wei&$ !$e benei!s# T$ere is a ne! loss# o

no! %rocee"#5 /$a.bo! %lace" !oo!$%ick umbrellas in lime mar&ari!as#

7ouve &o! !o be ki""in& me8 7ou can! s!o% !$is rom $a%%enin&8 7oure no! even an em%loyee

o !$e state85 Tom &rabbe" a %acka&e o buns rom a cabine!#



T$e &rou% a!e !o&e!$er as i !$ey were normal %eo%le# T$ere were no "ea!$ cam%s anyw$ere#

T$ere were no an"roi"s livin& wi!$ !$em# T$ey knew no!$in& abou! !o% secre! &overnmen! missions# In

!$e mi""le o !$e ni&$!- Ma!! /!ubbs !$ou&$! $e was $avin& a ni&$!mare# The Terminator 45 He looke" u%

an" saw !wo small re" li&$!s $overin& abou! $is $ea"# /!ar!le"- $e *uickly rolle" over !o $is le! an"

!$u""e" on!o !$e loor# He umble" !$rou&$ an alarm clock an" small s!a!ues !o in" a lam% on $is

ni&$!s!an"# T$e !wo re" li&$!s %oin!e" !owar" $im an" $ea"e" a! $im# Ma!! !urne" !$e li&$! on# 'ha%bot 8

;$a! !$e $eck are you "oin&485

/$a.bo! irs! %lace" $is a orein&er a! $is li%s# +e >uiet - !$e &es!ure sai"# T$en $e use" !$e same

in&er in a $ookin& mo!ion su&&es!in& !$a! Ma!! come wi!$ $im# Ma!! &rabbe" s$or!s on !$e loor an" %u!

on san"als# He ollowe" /$a.bo! "owns!airs# Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon were snorin& in !$e livin& room#

/$a.bo! o%ene" !$e ron! "oor an" $ea"e" ou!# ;$en Ma!! close" !$e "oor be$in" $im- /$a. %oin!e"

!owar" !$eir van# Ae!s &o-5 $e sai"#

/$a. &o! in!o !$e "rivers sea! an" Ma!! rus$e" !owar" !$e %assen&ers sea!# /$a. backe" u% !$e

ve$icle an" Ma!! !urne" aroun" an" no!ice" some!$in& ou! o %lace# Tom8 /$a.bo!4 ;$a!s $a%%enin&$ere45

Tom a%%roac$e" me i!een minu!es a&o# He sai" i! was !ime !o !ake you !o "um% you in

T$ousan" aks w$ere 'man"a Bynes was oun" near a ire in $er nei&$bors "riveway# I knocke" $im

ou!- s!ri%%e" $im !o $is un"erwear an" !ie" $im u% in !$is van#5 /$a. "rove alon& ,aciic <oas! Hi&$way#

Is !$is $ow i! $a%%ene" wi!$ <ornelius4 i" $e a%%roac$ you an"### you turned on him45 Ma!!

wa!c$e" Tom !ry !o s%eak bu! !$ere was a !iny wile ball s!ra%%e" insi"e $is mou!$ muin& $is wor"s#

;$ere" you &e! !$e se9 !oy45

/e9 !oy4 Tom &ols# He %rac!ices %u!!in& insi"e !$e $ouse# 3emember 45 /$a.bo! s%e" u%#

7ea$- yea$# 3ight #5 Ma!! rubbe" slee% &oo ou! o $is eyes#

;ere &oin& !o &ive Tom a !as!e o $is own me"icine#5 /$a.bo! !urne" on !$e ra"io# Have you

$ear" o Jeremy Ben!$am4 T$is is !$e &rea!es! &oo"- Ma!!#5

7oure !$e one w$o *uo!es @an"$i sayin& !$a! an 6eye or an eye leaves !$e worl" blin"85 He

looke" back a! Tom an" really "i"n! wan! $im un!ie"#

+ivian /!ree!s %oin!e" ou! my inconsis!en! be$aviors on !$e ni&$! !$a! !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el

came "own# /$e was ri&$!# I! only means Im becomin& more $uman- "oes i! no!45 /$a.bo! searc$e" !$e

ra"io or classic rock#

I guess so#5 Ma!! &rabbe" a case rom un"er $is sea! an" o%ene" i!# T$ere were abou! i!y

!ra"i!ional casse!!es insi"e# ;e $ave +an Halen- Aoverboy- Joan Je!!- Billy /*uire an" Ai!a or"# T$eres

a bunc$ o o!$ers- bu! !$ose woul" be my %icks#5 Ma!! %ulle" $is selec!ions ou!#

,u! in BC!# I eel like $earin& 6,anama ri&$! now85 /$a. "rove alon& an" !$ey "i"n! s%eak

muc$ un!il !$ey reac$e" !$e li*uor s!ore w$ere 'man"a Bynes was cau&$! on surveillance !a%e &oin& in!o a

res!room !o was$ &asoline o o $er ,omeranian# T$omas Mcay4 I nee" you !o inil!ra!e !$e men!al

$eal!$ acili!y w$ere 'man"a Bynes is bein& $el" or %syc$ia!ric observa!ion85 /$a.bo! lis!ene" !o Tom



violen!ly %ro!es! !$rou&$ $is very own wile ball# T$ere was a bo!!le o c$loroorm wra%%e" insi"e a $an"

!ower be!ween !$e ron! sea!s# /$a. o%ene" !$e bo!!le an" %oure" !$e li*ui" on!o !$e !owel# /$a.bo! aske"

Ma!!- ;$ere "o you !$ink I &o! !$is4 rom !$e <I' s!ore on !$e corner near !$e %i..a =oin!45

'hame on you# Tom: 4ou,re going to get knocked out by your own materials85 Ma!! &o! ou! o

!$e van an" "ar!e" !o !$e back# /$a.bo! was smo!$erin& Toms ace wi!$ a we! !owel w$en Ma!! o%ene"

!$e back "oors# ick $im ou! !owar" me- /$a.bo!8 Ill "ra& $im near !$a! slee%in& wino85

Ma!! "ra&&e" Toms lim% bo"y !o !$e si"e o !$e li*uor s!ore !$en $o%%e" back in!o !$e van# T$ey

"rove alon& un!il !$ey coul" in" a %ay%$one# /$a.bo! ma"e a call !o au!$ori!ies an" re%or!e" !$a! a nake"

man was %asse" ou! in a %ublic %lace# T$ey scoo%e" $im u%# Tom Mcay was ins!i!u!ionali.e" an"

observe" or seven!y!wo $ours !$en release"#

E""ie an" ?ancy wan!e" !o e9%erience a real5 casino !own an" $ea"e" !o Aas +e&as# le!c$ an"

+iv like" !$e wa!er a! Aake Havasu an" remaine" a! !$e E"&ewa!er# T$e "ay a!er Tom was release" rom a

men!al $eal!$ acili!y in Aos 'n&eles coun!y- +ivian /!ree!s receive" a !e9! messa&e rom $im# The

penguins eat tofu in 'iberia#5 /$e was rela9e" on a ol"in& c$air near !$e %ool# le!c$er "i"n! res%on"#+ivian remove" !$e silver car"boar" rom over $is ace# le!c$er4 The penguins eat tofu in 'iberia#5 /$e

s$owe" $er %$one !o le!c$ a!er $e woke rom a snoo.e#

T$is4 I!s /$a.bo!# T$ey !urne" $im o#5 He reac$e" "own or sun!an lo!ion an" %u! a $eal!$y

&lo% on!o $is s$oul"ers !$en rubbe"#

/$a.bo!4 Is $e in !rouble4 T$is is rom Tom Mcay#5 +ivian was wearin& a lar&e s!raw $a!# I!

ke%! $er ace s$a"e" bu! swea! s!ill "ri%%e" rom $er ore$ea"# /$e wi%e" $er ace wi!$ a small clo!$#

le!c$ers i,$one s!ar!e" bu..# I! was a /ky%e rom Tom# Tom4 ;$a!s u%45

Tom looke" cra.y in le!c$s ourinc$ screen# He seeme" !o be in !$e mi""le o a "eser!#

Men!al $eal!$ acili!ies make cra.y men sane8 o you know w$a! !$ey "o !o sane men48 T$ey make !$em

cra%y85

Tom4 7oure no! makin& any sense8 ;$a! is &oin& on485 le!c$er worrie" abou! +ivian# /$e

$a" been a! suc$ ease or !$e %as! ew "ays# le!c$ resen!e" Toms in!erru%!ion#

Tom %oin!e" $is own i,$one a! /$a.bo! an" ina$# T$ey were !ie" back!oback an" sea!e" on

"ee% san"# T$ey were lieless an" looke" like &ian! Barbie an" en "olls# Tom "eman"e"- o you know

w$ere I am485 Toms ace &rew lar&er in le!c$s screen# 'lamo&or"o- ?ew Me9ico85 Toms ace

became normalsi.e" a&ain# T$is is w$ere an a!omic bomb was irs! successully !es!e" in 1FDP8 How

i!!in& !$a! !$is is w$ere 'mericas a"vance" killer an"roi" %ro&ram will en"85

Tom4 ;$y are you !ellin& me !$is45 le!c$er %u! $is %alm over $is %$ones camera !$en

w$is%ere" !o +ivian- ;$a! s$oul" I "o45 +iv $a" no answer# le!c$er remove" $is %alm- Tom4 &ooler

heads will prevail # 7ou $ol" !i&$!# on! "o any!$in& ras$# T$a! can! lea" !o any!$in& &oo"#5

Tom Mcay %oin!e" $is camera a! lar&e oil "rums %ain!e" re"# Eac$ "rum $a" w$i!e lar&e block

le!!ers rea"in& T?T5# Ive $a" enou&$ o !$is car!oon lie8 I was !raine" !o in!erro&a!e Ira*i %risoners8 I

su%ervise" !$e cons!ruc!ion o concen!ra!ion cam%s in 'mericas bor"ers8 How can I "o my =ob i



subor"ina!es are allowe" !o &e! reven&e on me8 Hasn! anyone $ear" o 6c$ain o comman"485

+ivian !ook le!c$ers i,$one# Tom8 on! kill yoursel8 T$ere is a way we can se!!le !$is85

?ill myself 4 7ou $ave me wron&85 Tom ocuse" on a !$ick line a !$e base o !$e "rums# T$a! is

!$e use8 I will be far away w$en I li&$! i!85 Tom !urne" o $is %$one#

+ivian wa!c$e" !$e screen &o black# ;$a! are we su%%ose" !o "o- le!c$45

?o!$in& we can "o# ;e s!ay $ere# ;e lay ou!# T$a! was our %lan !$is mornin& an" i!s !$e bes!

!$in& we can "o now#5 le!c$er &rabbe" !$e silver car"boar" an" %u! i! on $is ace#

I =us! eel like we s$oul" call Herman Eic$elber&er or some!$in&#5 +ivian !ook !$e relec!ive

car"boar" rom le!c$#

le!c$er sa! u% an" leane" !owar" +ivian- ;eve $a" !$is conversa!ion beore# 7ou lunk a !es! a!

sc$ool an" everyone !eases you a! !$e weeken"s %ar!y# 7ou bomb an IK !es! an" &e! sen! !o reme"ial

sc$ool- everyone stays silent # T$e bi&&er !$e !ra&e"y- !$e more !aboo i! becomes# <lin!on lies abou! a s!ain

on Monicas "ress an" were s!ill !alkin& abou! i!# 'mall gaffe as far as /,m concerned in the bigger

picture# T$e Mossa" cons%ire wi!$ 'merican a&en!s !o $i! !$e Twin Towers !$en blame i! on 'rabs wi!$oil### an" you can! %ee% a wor" or years8 ;e can &o on !elevision an" *ues!ion !$e "irec!ion o !$e s%ace

%ro&ram an" w$e!$er we s$oul" s%en" money on Mars rovers or s!arvin& ki"s in !$e inner ci!ies# ,eo%le

s!ay a! $ome on !$eir couc$es an" !$ink !$eyre wa!c$in& *uali!y T+# Men!ion any o !$e $ar" evi"ence we

$ave a&ains! !$e Bus$ a"minis!ra!ion4 7ou know !$a!s no! &oin& !o $a%%en- a! leas! no! wi!$ enou&$

momen!um !o re&ain our coun!ry8 T$ose me"ia uckers are &onna say were inci!in& civil unres!# T$e

3ogues will be un$arme" an" were &oin& !o suer#5

7ou !$ink !$is is !$e same "eal4 ;$a! coul" &o wron&45 +ivian $an"e" !$e car"boar" back !o

le!c$# I !$ink youre ri&$!# I =us! wan!e" !o a! leas! "iscuss i!#5

le!c$s i,$one "in&e"# He %icke" i!# ?a +lowwie#5 He $an"e" !$e %$one !o +iv an" s$owe"

$er !$e !e9!# He mus!ve alrea"y "i" i!# I!s !oo la!e#5

Tom Mcay wa!c$e" /$a.bo! an" ina$ blow u% in a massive e9%losion rom =us! ou!si"e

Holloman 'ir orce Base# He ilme" !$e inci"en! on $is %$one an" imme"ia!ely %os!e" i! !o 7ouTube#

'!er sen"in& !$e ?a +lowwie5 !e9! !o le!c$er- $e sen! a web link rom !$e 7ouTube vi"eo# He li! u% a a!

ci&ar- %u! on some s$a"es- !$en cruise" in a new conver!ible <a"illac "own !$e Q! !owar" Me9ico# He

s!ar!e" sin&in& Jimi Hen"ri9 wi!$ou! !$e ra"io on# "ey =oe: / heard you shot your old lady down: 'hot

her down to the ground: 4eah: 4es / did: / shot her: 4ou know0 / caught her messing around: essing

around town: 4es# / shot her:5 Tom Mcays scal% was bal"in& ba"ly bu! !$e si"e an" back remainin& $air

el! &oo" in !$e win"# Tom &aine" s%ee" an" i! was "iicul! !o kee% %uin& $is ci&ar in be!ween sin&in&#

He $a" always wan!e" a <a"illac an" $e bou&$! a bran" new AR a cou%le o $ours a!er $e was release"

rom !$e same acili!y w$ere 'man"a Bynes was bein& $el" a&ains! $er will# He conron!e" /$a.bo! in

Hun!in&!on !$en s%oke !$e ailsae wor"s !o s$u! $im "own# ;i!$ !$e !o% "own- $e reac$e" ei&$!y miles

%er $our alon& a ?ew Me9ico $i&$way an" relec!e" on $is $a%$a.ar" lie# "ey =oe# / said# where you

gonna run to now# where you# where you gonna0 Well dig it: /,m going way down south: Way down south#



way down south to e*ico: Alright: /,m going way down south# way down where / can be free85

n !$e ni&$! !$a! /$a.bo! !ook +iv an" le!c$ !o !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el or !$eir ur&en!

ren"e.vous wi!$ <ornelius /!uar!- /$a. !ol" le!c$ !$a! $is cousin was !$e ?or!$ro% @rumman RKD

@lobal Hawk# T$ey converse" insi"e a MR', ve$icle w$ile +ivian %lea"e" wi!$ <ornelius in a %arkin&

s!ruc!ure !o renounce $is c$ao!ic an" "es!ruc!ive ways# Time was s$or! an" /$a.bo! wasn! able !o &e! $is

ull s!ory ou!# T$e @lobal Hawk was an unmanne" air cra! ca%able o lyin& over a =e! airliner an"

"isru%!in& elec!ronic communica!ion si&nals !o an" rom !$e !ar&e!e" %lane# Bra"ley ;ebs!er- a cons%iracy

!$eoris!- believe" !$e accuse" $i=ackers on nine eleven "i" no! $ave !$e skills !o ly !$e %lanes in ?ew 7ork-

;as$in&!on an" ,ennsylvania !$e way !$e oicial s!ory5 re%or!e" !$ey "i"# He s%ecula!e" !$a! !$e (lobal

"awk was use" !o maneuver !$e =umbo =e!s# /$a.bo! was no! &oin& !o !ell le!c$er abou! !$ese i"eas-

!$ou&$# He was &oin& !o !ell $im !$a! ?or!$ro% @rumman $a" a secre! subsi"iary# T$is os$oo! "i" no!

$ave !o re%or! !o <on&ress an" i!s accoun!in& %rac!ices were more mu""le" !$an or&ani.e" crime in

<$ica&o# T$ey o%era!e" mos!ly os$ore in %riva!e islan"s an" in coun!ries aroun" !$e <aribbean an"

/ou!$ 'merica un"er !$e aus%ice known by a selec! ew as 3ossum achinery /nternational # T$isconi"en!ial an" unoicial branc$- $ea"*uar!ere" in 'n&uilla- "evelo%e" an" buil! /$a.bo! an" ina$#

/$a.bo! wan!e" !o !ell le!c$er !$a! hundreds o an"roi"s similar !o $im were bein& mass %ro"uce"#

Tom Mcay crosse" !$e /!an!on /!a!e Bri"&e in El ,aso# He i""le" wi!$ $is !$ick mus!ac$e an"

men!ally %re%are" or un$eal!$y !acos in &iudad =ure% # ' bor"er %a!rol a&en! "rove alon& !$e bri"&e

comin& rom !$e sou!$# T$e !an Jee% JL %ulle" in ron! o Tom an" blocke" !$e roa"# 'mbercolore"

c$erry li&$!s las$e" on# 'n a&en! &o! ou! o !$e ve$icle- s$iel"e" $imsel be$in" $is "oor an" %oin!e" a

&un !owar" Tom# (et out of your car 85

Tom Mcay $a" an im%ulse !o !urn aroun" an" bol! nor!$war"# He knew $e" be c$ase" an"

"rea"e" i!# Ins!ea" o o%enin& $is "oor- $e s!oo" u% on $is bur&un"y lea!$er sea!# /,m finally in a

convertible. /,ll be damned if / don,t stand on my seat at least one time# He looke" !owar" !$e bor"er

%a!rol a&en!. "e looks familiar # Tom Mcay looke" more. 'ha%bot0 /s that you0 "ow,d you get out

from the e*plosion45

T$e a&en! yelle"- @e! ou! o !$e ve$icle slowly an" walk backwar"s !owar" me wi!$ your $an"s

be$in" your $ea"85

Tom com%lie"# He was cue" an" !aken !o El ,aso In!erna!ional 'ir%or!# T$e a&en! !ook Tom ou!

o !$e Jee% !o a ,'< CP0 A small air%lane# (et in85 !$e a&en! comman"e" Tom#

T$ere were !wo men alrea"y insi"e !$e rear o !$e %lane w$en Tom &o! i!# T$ey were "resse" in

!$ree%iece sui!s an" !$ey bo!$### looked like 'ha%bot # 'm I "reamin&485 Tom yelle" in!o !$e air#

T$e bor"er %a!rol a&en! &o! in!o !$e cock%i! an" s!ar!e" !$e %lane# ne o !$e men in !$e back

aske" Tom- o you like sky "ivin&4 I $o%e you "o#5

;$a! is &oin& on485 Tom $ollere"#

3ossum achinery /nternational was sen! a "is!ress messa&e rom /$a.bo! w$en Tom was !akin&

$im !o !$e ?ew Me9ico "eser!# /$a.bo! an" ina$ were "esi&ne" so !$ey coul" be s$u! o i any!$in&



wen! wron&# T$e %en&uins ea! !ou in /iberia5 was !$e !ri&&er wor"# I! !o&&le" /$a.bo! o an" i! !o&&le"

$im back on# RMI was la9 !owar" !$e &overnmen! a&en!s !$ey $a" "elivere" /$a.bo! !o# T$ey "i"n! !rack

/$a.bo!s every move# T$eir only %ro!ocol !o c$eck on $im was i $e was s$u! "own or more !$an an

$our# T$ere was a @,/ uni! insi"e o /$a.bo! an" ina$ !$a! Tom s$oul"ve &uesse" was !$ere# Tom

became incense" wi!$ ra&e w$en Ma!! &o! reven&e on $im or a second !ime in !$e %as! ew mon!$s# His

lo&ic ell o !$e boa! an" $e was le! wi!$ a swirl o bi!!er $a!re" in $is belly# RMI i&ure" ou! !$a! /$a.bo!

was &oin& !o be "es!roye" so !$ey se! a %lan o re!alia!ion in!o mo!ion# RMI $a" in!elli&ence !$a! !$e :/

"ollar may colla%se# /$a.bo! was an /202G robo! an" so was !$e bor"er %a!rol a&en! !$a! s!o%%e" Tom

Mcay# T$e !wo sui!e" an"roi"s in !$e back o !$e %lane were /202G robo!s an" ina$ was a emale

varia!ion o one# T$ey were ori&inally "esi&ne" !o inil!ra!e orei&n lan"s- min&le amon&s! na!ives- an"

carry ou! mili!ary ac!ions# RMI re%ro&ramme" /$a.bo! !o be %eaceul# T$ey crea!e" %arame!ers w$ere

!$e robo!s could be&in sol"ier mo"e wi!$ !$e %ress o a remo!e bu!!on# I! "i"n! s!o% !$ere# Rossum

Mac$inery In!erna!ional believe" !$e :ni!e" /!a!es o 'merica woul" break in!o civil war i !$e loor o !$e

economy ell ou!# Tom Mcay !ook over w$ere <ornelius /!uar! le! o# 'n /202G robo!- 'ha%bot - $a"alrea"y "ecommissione"5 one <I' a&en! in Elko- ?eva"a# T$ree unname" /202G robo!s were now in

%ossession o ano!$er a&en!- Tom Mcay#

T$e ,'< CP0 A was $i&$ in !$e sky an" $ea"e" !owar" 'lamo&or"o# /ure is beau!iul u% $ere-

isn! i! Tom45 T$e bor"er %a!rol a&en! looke" back a! Tom an" smile"# 7ou "on! min" i I call you

6Tom- "o you45

;$o are you &uys48 ;$a!s &oin& on485 Tom wan!e" !o i&$! or con!rol o !$e %lane# He was

ou!numbere" an" $e "i"n! know $ow !o ly# /$a.bo!8 're all o you calle" 6'ha%bot 48 7ou all look !$e

same85

T$e bor"er %a!rol a&en! c$ecke" $is ins!rumen!s# T$ey call me 6'lvin# T$e &uys wi!$ you are

6Bra" an" 6<aleb8 T$ere are ive $un"re" o us roamin& !$e con!inen!al :ni!e" /!a!es# ;e will be

%re%are" !o !ake c$ar&e w$en your coun!ry s%irals in!o wi"es%rea" c$aos# 7our "ollar will be wor!$ less

!$an !$e peso in a ew mon!$s8 I!s no coinci"ence !$a! !$ree o us $ere are name" in 'B< or"er# '

ran"om &enera!or %icks ou! our monikers rom ' !o !$en s!ar!s over a&ain an" a&ain#5 'lvin be&an !o

w$is!le#

Tom Mcay %ulle" ou! $is i,$one an" s!ar!e" !o !e9! le!c$er Browne# ;$en !$e ,'< CP0 A

sky"ivin& %lane was over !$e si!e w$ere !$e irs! a!omic bomb e9%lo"e" in 1FDP- Bra" s%oke !o Tom- T$is

is w$ere you &e! o85 He &rabbe" Tom by $is le! arm an" <aleb &rabbe" $is ri&$! arm# T$ey !osse" Tom

Mcay !umblin& !owar" !$e "eser! loor# /$a.bo! an" ina$ $a" been blown !o bi!s on !$e &roun" earlier

in !$e "ay# Tom ell an" $e !$ou&$! abou! !$e a!omic blas! "eca"es beore# He !$ou&$! abou! /$a.bo! an"

ina$ s!ra%%e" near !$e T?T an" <D %las!ic e9%losives# He !$ou&$! $is reven&e on /$a.bo! was so %oe!ic

an" $e !$ou&$! $e woul" lau&$ abou! i! or !$e res! o $is lie# Tom %lumme!e" wi!$ou! a %arac$u!e an" $is

arms %inw$eele" uriously in u!ile circles# He wasn! lau&$in& a! all#

In !$e %lane above Tom- 'lvin aske" Bra" an" <aleb- oes anyone know !$e ra!e o accelera!ion



or an ob=ec! "urin& com%le!e reeall45

1ine point eight meters per second s>uared 85 <aleb yelle" ou!#

I owe you a beer- man85 'lvin con!inue" nor!$#

7ou s!ole my answer8 / was gonna say that 8 5 Bra" insis!e"# Ae!s blow !$is !aco s!an" an" in"

some really &oo" brew85 He "i" a wave o $is arms like an ama!eur $i% $o% "ancer rom a nine!een

ei&$!ies music vi"eo#

Tom Mcay s%la!!e" "own seven!yive yar"s nor!$eas! o w$ere /$a.bo! was !ie" !o ina$

beore bein& blas!e" !o smi!$ereens# Inves!i&a!ors were alrea"y on !$e scene !ryin& !o i&ure ou! !$e

e9%losion# Many o !$em wa!c$e" Tom come "own an" slam in!o !$e Ear!$# T$ey ran !o $im bu! $e $a"

alrea"y "ie" o a broken neck an" %rouse in!ernal blee"in&#

le!c$er receive" a !e9! messa&e rom Tom ri&$! as me"ics were loa"in& $im on!o a &urney# T$e

worl" is ull o /$a.bo!s8 n nine nine- !$ere is an arme" marc$ on <8 I!s a "iversion rom !$e ul!ima!e

solar lare ills$o!8 Millions an" millions will "ie85 He rea" !$e messa&e !o +ivian rom insi"e !$eir

E"&ewa!er Ho!el room# le!c$er a""e"- Im in!er%re!in& rom !e9! abbrevia!ions- bu! !$a!s w$a! i! seems!o say#5

;$a!s i! mean45 +ivian c$ecke" le!c$s %$one# ;e s$oul" s!ay away rom Tom or a w$ile#

Hes &one o !$e e"&e85

Herman Eic$elber&er !e9!e" le!c$er an" +ivian a $al $our la!er# Tom Mcays con!rac! wi!$

!$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen! $as been !ermina!e"#5

Tom Mcay $as been oe"- +iv# /$oul" we care4 Is !$ere any!$in& we s$oul" "o45 le!c$er

wa!c$e" +ivian !urn $er %$one !o silen! an" %lace i! in!o a si"e %ouc$ in $er "ule ba&#

+ivian walke" !o le!c$ an" $el" $im# /$e &leame"- ;e can s!ay $ere an" vaca!ion like re&ular

%eo%le# I comman" you- le!c$er Browne- !o leave your %$one in !$is room an" =oin me "owns!airs or

some &oo" &rub85

le!c$er "i" as $e was !ol" an" was %lease" !$a! $e $a" suc$ a s%len"i" &irlrien"# 7ou $ave !$e

bes! answer# ;e are no! !$eir moms8 ;$y "o !$ey !ry !o %ull us in!o !$eir ana!ical s%a!s485 He kisse" +iv

on $er c$eek !$en on $er mou!$# T$ey wen! "owns!airs an" a!e no!$in& bu! a!!y oo"s# T$ey "i" i! on

%ur%ose#

?ancy Moore an" E""ie <ally%so were "rivin& back !o !$eir $o!el a! !$e Tro%icana rom a !our o

!$e Hoover am# T$ey were lis!enin& !o /noo% o&&s 6 oggystyle on <# 7ou know4 I was !$inkin&

abou! !$a! Ail ;ayne !$in&#5 ?ancy !urne" "own !$e music so s$e coul" be $ear"# T$ere was a lawyer

!$a! was $oun"in& $im abou! some!$in& or ano!$er an" i! was on T+# T$a! coul" be a cons%iracy- ri&$!45

;$a! "o you mean45 E""ie <ally%so marvele" a! !$e ?eva"a "eser! lan"sca%e#

;ell- !$ey "i"n! wan! $im com%e!in& wi!$ Elvis- ri&$!4 The /lluminati guys# /,m talking about # I

remember Bobca! @ol"!$wai! was on Jay Aeno a lon& !ime a&o# Jay &o! all ma" !$a! Bobca! was !alkin& all

cra.y### bu! !$a!s %ar! o $is &i&- you see4 Jay wan!e" $im !o !alk like a normal businessman or some!$in&

an" $e woul"n! "o !$e in!erview# I !$ink Ail ;ayne s!aye" in c$arac!er because $e knew !$e cameras were



rollin&# I !$ink !$e lawyer was one o !$ose Illumina!i &uys w$o wan!e" !o e9%ose Ail ;ayne as some kin"

o rau"ulen! %roessional8 T$a! woul"ve !o!ally screwe" $is s!ree! cre" an" $e woul"n! $ave sol" any

more albums85 ?ancy !urne" !$e music back u%# @in an" Juice5 was %layin&#

E""ie !urne" !$e music "own a li!!le# T$a! coul" be8 o you $ave any!$in& else45

kay8 How abou! !$is4 7ou know $ow you sai" !$a! !wen!y years a&o- !$ere were abou! our

$un"re" ma=or me"ia sources4 ?ews%a%ers- ra"io s!a!ions- T+ an" w$a!ever4 ?ow- !$eres like ive8 'm

I ri&$!4 ;ell maybe !$a!s w$y every o!$er s$ow on T+ !o"ay is a !alen! com%e!i!ion- </I- ?<I/- reali!y

T+ or some!$in& by JJ 'brams8 3ight 4 T$ey only wan! !o %ay- like- three guys !o "o every!$in&85

E""ie consi"ere" i! or a ew secon"s# i" you &e! !$a! rom an e%iso"e o amily @uy45

?ancy !$ou&$! abou! i!# 7es8 Bu! !$a! "oesn! mean i!s no! !rue8 Ri&$!45 /$e !urne" !$e music

back u% an" !$ey "i"n! !alk anymore un!il !$ey were in !$eir $o!el room# I &o! a !e9! messa&e rom

+ivian# /$e wan!s us !o mee! in 'lber!a- <ana"a in a cou%le o weeks# 7ou wan! !o &o45

+e&as is nice bu! Im rea"y or some!$in& "ieren!# 7ea$# I" like !o &o#5 E""ie an" ?ancy

res!e" or a w$ile !$en wen! "own !o !$e black=ack !ables la!er in !$e evenin&# verall- !$ey broke evenw$ile s!ayin& in ?eva"a a! Havasu- !$en la!er in Aas +e&as- lar&ely "ue !o a ive !$ousan" "ollar %ayo a! a

slo! mac$ine w$en ?ancy $i! !$ree sevens !$e "ay beore !$ey were !o leave#

I! was !$e mi""le o 'u&us! in E"mon!on# ?ancy- E""ie- le!c$er an" +ivian me! a! !$e Ma!ri9

Ho!el# T$ey c$ecke" in aroun" noon bu! !$ey "i"n! s!ick aroun" !oo lon&# T$ey $ea"e" !o Ma%le Aea

Mea"ows or $orseback ri"in&# T$ey !ro!!e" !owar" Terwill&ar ,ark alon& a la.y river# ?ancy sai"- I $a"

a small %ony w$en I was youn&# ;e use" !o ri"e $im in ?orco#5

7ea$45 E""ie was uncomor!able# He wasn! sure i $is !ook !o $im# He was !$e only one in !$e

&rou% wearin& !ennis s$oes ins!ea" o boo!s# He won"ere" i !$a! was !$e reason $is $orse was i"&e!y#

?ancys s!ar!in& !o be an as!u!e cons%iracy !$eoris!#5

7ea$# ;$a! "ya &o!45 le!c$er bou&$! an oversi.e" "ark maroon cowboy $a! or !$e ri"e#

,ey!on Mannin& was on !$e In"iana%olis <ol!s or $ow many years4 He coul"ve si&ne" wi!$

!$e <ar"inals or anyone else8 Bu! w$o "i" $e c$oose w$en $e le! In"y45 T$e ;in"emere &ol course was

on !$e o!$er si"e o !$e wa!er# ?ancy ro"e alon& an" wa!c$e" &uys %u!!in& in !$e "is!ance#

enver-5 +ivian sai"# /$e wore !$e same s!raw $a! s$e $a" in Havasu#

Ri&$!8 The +roncos8 How many $orse !eams are !$ere in !$e ?A45 ?ancy el! %rou" o

$ersel#

T$e main %ar! o Terwille&ar ,ark was across !$e s!ream so !$e &rou% se!!le" across !$e bank#

;ere $ere !o "iscuss !$e %e!roleum in"us!ry- le!c$er#5 T$e our $orses were secure" a! surroun"in&

!rees# +ivian o%ene" $er back%ack an" %ulle" ou! a ew $am an" c$eese san"wic$es# ;e nee" !o "iscuss

w$a!s really &oin& on#5

I know w$ere were a!# I! !akes an $our an" a $al !o "rive !o '!$abasca# T$a!s w$ere all !$e

"ir!y mu" is bein& il!ere" or oil# ;ere in E"mon!on# Home o !$e Edmonton Oilers#5 le!c$er !ook

san"wic$ rom +ivian#



?ancy lai" ou! a blanke!# oes !$is involve me an" E""ie4 Is !$is %riva!e4 /$oul" we !ake a

walk45

7ou can s!ay# I $ave a *ues!ion or E""ie bu! I $ave !o be clear w$a!s &oin& on irs!#5 +iv &ave

?ancy an" E""ie !$eir san"wic$es# o you remember $i&$ sc$ool an" wan!in& !o =oin !$e /ierra <lub4

o you remember all !$e cra% we &ave %eo%le or "rainin& Mono Aake4 o you remember wan!in& !o =oin

(reenpeace an" wri!in& our con&ressman !o %u! %ressure on !$e renc$ &overnmen! or sinkin& !$e

Rainbow ;arrior45

T$a! was a lon& !ime a&o- +iv#5 le!c$er %ulle" ou! a !$ermos rom $is sack# I remember# Im

s!ill ma" abou! i! all# Is !$a! w$y were $ere4 're we &onna s!o% 6em rom %ullin& bi!umen ou! o !$e

&roun"45

They,re losers# 7letch# Im !alkin& abou! @reen%eace# Im no! sayin& !$a! &lobal warmin&s no!

an issue# Im no! sayin& !$a! lori"a woul" s!ill be above wa!er i !$e Ear!$ is warme" by si9 "e&rees

cen!i&ra"e# Im no! even sayin& !$a! <ana"a woul"n! benei! rom a warmer clima!e#5 +ivian !ook

le!c$s !$ermos an" %oure" $ersel some coee# @reen%eace came u% $ere an" "i" some "an&erouscra%#5

;$en all !$e "ucks "ie"# / remember -5 le!c$er sai"# T$eyre &e!!in& sue" by /yncru"e or

screwin& wi!$ !$eir o%era!ion#5 He sa! on !$e blanke! wi!$ ?ancy an" E""ie#

;$a!s &oin& on- +iv4 I "on! know w$a! !$is is all abou!# 7ou !$ree wen! !o $i&$ sc$ool

!o&e!$er# ;$a! am I missin&45 ?ancy wai!e" or an answer#

Aie is inver!e" a! !$e very !o%- ?ancy# I!s $ar" or me !o know w$a!s &oin& on an" my "a" is

brillian! wi!$ many connec!ions# My ne%$ew- Ta"- &o! involve" in !$e same environmen!al %ro&rams !$a!

me- le!c$ an" E""ie were %ar! o# He &o! screwe"- !$ou&$# I "on! know w$a!s &oin& on in !o"ays

classrooms# 7ou can! come ou! an" say !$a! youre or os$ore "rillin& anymore# ?o! i youre a !eac$er

a! a %ublic sc$ool# I!s no! %oli!ically correc!# ,eo%le !$ink o !$e B, oil s%ill# Ins!ea"- %roessors pretend

!$eyre a&ains! some!$in&# T$eyre wee"in& ou! !$e s!u"en!s w$o ac!ually bi!e# /ecre!ly- !$e ones w$o

s!an" wi!$ !$e cor%ora!ions an" %ollu!in& in"us!ries are recommen"e" an" a"vance" in !$e work %lace#5

+ivian sa! "own#

T$a! "oesn! soun" ri&$!85 ?ancy !rie" !o i&ure ou! w$a! s$e was $earin&#

I!s a secre! socie!y an" we are !$e secre! socie!y# My "a" le! me &o willy nilly or more !$an !en

years a!er my $i&$ sc$ool &ra"ua!ion# He i&ure" I" see !$e li&$! some"ay# T$e li&$! isn! !$a! i!s wron&

!o %ro!es!# Everyones &onna be youn& an" rebellious# T$e li&$! is !$a! you can! s!o% i!8 T$ey are !oo

%owerul# 7ou can =oin !$ese &uys or you can &e! run over#5 +ivian "i"n! eel like ea!in& =us! ye!# /$e

$el" $er san"wic$ in $er $an"#

Is !$is abou! Ta"s %roessor in Aa+erne4 ;$a! was $is name4 )eke 7owler 8 He !au&$!

&eolo&y85 E""ie <ally%so $a" a ew !alks wi!$ Ta" /!ree!s w$en !$ey were in a&mar# He $a"

connec!ions !o (reenpeace... an" Im almos! sure Ta" !alke" abou! !$is very %lace wi!$ !$e !ar san"s an"

all#5



7es8 7ouve &o!!a un"ers!an"### 're you rea"y or !$is le!c$4 My a!$er is in !$e <I' an"

knew <ornelius /!uar! or many years# T$ey $a" a allin& ou! o sor!s bu! !$a!s $ow you were able !o &e!

%$o!o&ra%$ic assi&nmen!s aroun" !$e worl"### like !$e one you $a" in Beec$ @rove- In"iana# My "a"

consulted or /uncor an" lobbie" or nuclear reac!ors an" 'laskan oil %i%elines# He was %ai" "irec!ly by

/uncor#5 +ivian believe" !$ere was a c$ance !$a! le!c$er woul" become an&ry# He remaine" calm# /$e

inally !ook $er $am an" c$eese ou! o i!s ba&&ie#

7our "a"s no! merely an ar! "ealer an" real es!a!e "evelo%er4 I mi&$!ve been sur%rise" a ew

years a&o# ;$en I !$ou&$! you were crus$e" in !$e ,aul Bunyan Ho!el- i! all $i! me# ;$y woul" I be

re%lacin& <ornelius4 ;$y woul" I be c$eere" by %eo%le I !$ou&$! I was o%%osin&# I you s$owe" u% a

week la!er- I mi&$!ve been conuse"# 7ou were away or a cou%le o mon!$s- !$ou&$# I! s!ar!e" !o sink in#

I! s!ar!e" !o make sense#5 le!c$er $el" +ivs $an"#

T$e (reenpeace &uys !$a! were u% $ere are me"ia w$ores# ;e "i" %syc$olo&ical %roiles on

!$em# )eke 7owler - by !$e way- is a !o!al sellou!# T$ese wackos are wrou&$! wi!$ vani!y an" &ree"# I!

"oesn! mean !$a! "ucks "on! ma!!er# I! "oesn! mean !$a! "ucks "i"n! %eris$ in mass near a sul%$uric %on"# I! =us! means !$a! !$e people !$a! are i&$!in& ?e9en- /uncor an" /ino%ec are all $ar"core weir"os#5

+ivian el! a li!!le embarrasse" or !$e s%eec$# I! wasn! always $er way !o come ou! an" !ake a orceul

s!an"# /$e %reerre" sub!le!y mos! !$e !ime# 'n" !$en !$eres !$e c$em!rails- le!c$# o you wan! !o !alk

abou! !$a!45

;$a! are c$em!rails45 ?ancy aske"#

Have you ever seen a =e! ly $i&$ in !$e sky### an" !$eres a bi& !rail o w$i!e smoke be$in" i!45

E""ie wai!e" or a yes5 or no5 bu! ?ancy circle" $er orein&er !ellin& $im !o &o on5# ;a!er va%or is

release" in $i&$ al!i!u"es w$ere !$e air is very col"# I! con"enses an" !akes on similar %ro%er!ies as clou"s#

/cien!is!s call !$e len&!$y w$i!e lines be$in" =e!s 6con!rails### or !$e con"ensa!ion# T$ere are cons%iracy

!$eoris!s !$a! believe !$ere is more !$an =us! wa!er va%or bein& le! be$in"# T$ey believe !$e &overnmen!

mo"iie" %lanes !o "elibera!ely leave sulphur in !$e a!mos%$ere !o comba! &lobal warmin&### an" o course-

!$ey "on! !$ink i!s a &oo" !$in&#5 E""ie no!ice" !$a! ?ancy seeme" sa!isie" wi!$ !$e answer#

Is !$is w$a! you wan! !o !alk abou!- $un45 le!c$er aske" +ivian#

?o- ac!ually- bu! !$a!s %ar! o i!# T$eres a real %lan !o e9!en" a really lon& $ose ei&$!een miles

u%war" in!o our a!mos%$ere $el" u% by lar&e balloons# T$is $ose is su%%ose" !o in=ec! sul%$ur in!o !$e

a!mos%$ere or !$e same reason E""ie !alke" abou!#5 +ivian !ook o $er s!raw $a! an" wi%e" $er ore$ea"#

;e $a" !o come u% $ere now because i!s &oin& !o be ree.in& come ?ovember an" ecember#5

/o were no! a&ains! savin& !$e environmen!- correc!45 le!c$ aske"# ;ere =us! no! &oin& !o

min&le wi!$ %syc$os "oin& i! or !$e wron& reasons- ri&$!45

eke owler was a %ai" &eolo&ical consul!an! or /$ell <ana"a# Hes ou! !$ere !ellin& my

ne%$ew !o &e! arres!e" a! Bolsa <$ica8 Hes !ellin& some s!u"en!s !o =oin (reenpeace an" $es !ellin&

o!$ers !o work or E99on8 T$a! wanker is all over !$e ma%8 Have you $ear" o Ty%$oi" Mary4 T$a!s w$o

I !$ou&$! o w$en my ne%$ew !ol" me $is s!ory85 ' bree.e blew !$rou&$ +ivs $air an" i! soo!$e" $er#



Tomorrow- were &oin& !o ly in a $elico%!er over !$e '!$abasca oil san"s# 7oull see $ow bi& !$is !$in&

is# Trees $ave been rava&e" in all "irec!ions#5

;$a! !$en4 o we $el% 6em "i& i! ou!4 o we work as securi!y45 le!c$ looke" over a! !$e

$orses !ie" !o !$e !ree# / hope we fastened them well. /,d hate to walk all the way back at this point #

I "on! know# I remember you ur&en!ly wan!e" !o see !$e nine eleven s!eel# I !$ink !$is is !$e

same or me# I =us! wan! !o know w$a!s &oin& on#5 +ivian &o! u% an" $ea"e" !o $er s!ee"# T$e &rou%

&allo%e" back !o !$e s!able !$en $ea"e" !o !$eir $o!el# T$ey lew over !o '!$abasca !$e ne9! "ay an" !$ey

visi!e" /yncru"e $ea"*uar!ers a! or! McMurray# ' week la!er !$ey re!urne" !o a&mar- Kuebec an"

ren!e" !$e same !iny co!!a&e !$ey $a" s!aye" in a ew mon!$s %rior# T$ey invi!e" Ta" an" $is rien"s !o =oin

!$em#

eke owler4 To!al dick 85 T$a""eus /!ree!s s%oke abou! $is ormer &eolo&y %roessor rom !$e

:niversi!y o Aa+erne# 7ou know !$ose 'nonymous vi"eos you see on 7ouTube4 T$e ones w$ere !$e

voices are "is&uise" an" !$e s%eaker is wearin& a 8 for 8endetta mask4 T$e ones w$ere !$e "u"e is always

sayin& !$a! !$ere is no lea"ers$i% an" all !$is bullcra%4 ;ell- eke sai" $e was one o !$ose &uys8 7oureno! su%%ose" !o !ell anyone- stupid 8 T$a!s w$y i!s 'nonymous8 He was &ivin& ki"s in our class !$e link

!o $is vi"eo an" s$i!# Hes no! one o !$em# 7ou can! "o !$a!85 Ta" inis$e" $is !welveounce Bu"weiser

can an" !$rew i! in!o !$e cabins corner# T$is is !$e same week !$a! $e sai" $e los! my mi"!erm %a%er#

'un! +iv came !o rescue me rom sou!$ern <al a ew "ays la!er#5 Ta" el! a $eal!$y bu.. an" walke" ou!

unannounce" !o !$e ron! yar"# T$ere was only one res!room insi"e an" i! was !aken# Ta" !ook a leak on a

bus$ near !$e wa!er well#

Bren! Hoover came ou! o !$e res!room# He looke" in!o !$e corner w$ere a bunc$ o aluminum

cans were %ilin& u%# ;$eres !$e %iano- aun! +iv45

;$en we le!- we sol" i! !o !$e owner o !$is %lace# He !ook i! !o $is %ersonal $ome# ;e re

ren!e" !$is %lace an" $e sai" $e" &ive i! back !o us i we s!ay lon&er !$an a mon!$#5 +ivian was !$e only

one no! "rinkin& alco$ol# Her min" s%un wi!$ "reamlike circums!ances rom !$e %as! ew mon!$s# /$e

wan!e" !o se!!le# /$e $a" %assiona!e issues !ryin& !o cro% in!o $er conscious min" rom !$e swam% o $er

i"# /$e wan!e" !o $i"e w$a! s$e was eelin& an" w$a! s$e wan!e" !o "o in reac!ion !o !$e worl" aroun" $er#

/$e wan!e" !o kill# /$e wan!e" !o maim# /$e wan!e" !o !ra% %eo%le w$om s$e believe" were res%onsible

or socie!ys "emise# /$e wan!e" !o %u! !$ese %eo%le in a small iron ca&e an" !or!ure !$em# I you &uys

nee" me !o "rive you !o &e! bur&ers la!er- Im no! "rinkin&# Ae! me know- okay45 /$e %re!en"e" !$a! s$e

remaine" sober or !$e &rou% so s$e coul" saely !ake !$em somew$ere in a car#

Ta" came back insi"e# Im almos! sure $e was a&# I!s no! =us! !$a! $e su%%or!e" $omose9ual

marria&e# 1o# I s!ar!e" !o see a &irl in class an" $e was o%%ose" !o i!# 7ou know4 I mean- w$a! !$e uck

s$oul" $e care4 He sai" I s$oul"n! be s!u"yin& &eolo&y unless I was serious# I I wan!e" !o save !$e

%lane!- !$ere s$oul" be no "is!rac!ions### bu! Im a &uy8 I $ave $ormones8 I!s no! as easy as !$is or !$a!#

7ou can "o bo!$8 T$e c$ick I was seein& was all in# /$e wan!e" !o save !$e Ear!$ !oo#5 T$a""eus

s!a&&ere" !o !$e ki!c$en an" &rabbe" a ew cans o beer# He %asse" !$em alon&#



7ag 4 T$a""eus4 7ou know you can! be cau&$! "ea" sayin& 6a&- 6re!ar"- !$e nwor" an" a

slew o other wor"s now !$a! you $ave a &overnmen! =ob# eini!ely "on! use !$em w$en you sen" email

because i! leaves a !rail# ;e weren! even su%%ose" !o call /%encer Aaaye!!e a mi"&e!8 ;e "i" i!### bu! we

weren! su%%ose" !o# Im =us! makin& sure you "on! &e! ire" or some!$in& "umb#5 +ivian a""e" a lo& !o

!$e ire%lace#

'un!ie4 Have you ever $ear" me say !$e nwor"4 1o# 'n" were $ere amon&s! rien"s an"

amily# I can say w$a! I wan!# T$a! <ornelius "weeb was snoo%in& in!o our %rivacy an" w$a! $a%%ene" !o

$im4 ' robo! crus$e" $is ass in a uckin $o!el8 I I can! !alk s!rai&$! somew$ere or ano!$er- Im &onna &o

insane85 Ta" no!ice" !$a! $is aun! looke" concerne"# Im a clean %erson w$en Im sober an" in an oice#

I know $ow !o !alk ri&$!#5

Here- $ere85 Bren! raise" $is can o beer# He !urne" !o Ta"- 7oure !$e best a& Ive ever

known85

T$e &rou% lau&$e"# T$ey mean! no $arm# le!c$er was !ire" an" be&an !o no" o on !$e couc$#

'n $our beore mi"ni&$!- %eo%le &o! rea"y or be" an" Ta" be&an !o wri!e wi!$ a %encil on a !ra"i!ionalyellow %a"# ear Mis!er owler# Im sorry !$a! you !urne" ou! !o be a& an" all# I!s !oo ba" !$a! you

became !$e mos! no!ewor!$y $y%ocri!e Ive ever me! ace!oace# /omeone s$oul" bea! your ass because

you ruin lives### bu! I woul"n! "o !$a!# ;$y was!e my !ime- ri&$!4 6 ?indness is a treasure and it,s one

towards me you,ve seldom shown... 'o /,ll say it for good measure to all the ones like you /,ve known...

4ou know /,d like to shave your head and all my friends could paint it red # Ever $ear o @uns ? Roses4

7oure a !o!al cock# ;$y "i" you lose my mi"!erm4 I $o%e a come! comes rom !$e sky an" lan"s on

you### or I $o%e you walk alone in lie knowin& youre "un&#5 Ta" conke" ou! over !$e c$es! $e $a" been

usin& as a makes$i! !able#

+ivian woke u% beore anyone else !$e ne9! mornin&# /$e rea" w$a! $er ne%$ew wro!e# /$e

s$ook $im un!il $e came !o consciousness# 7ou "on! %lan !o sen" !$is# o you45

Ta" was &ro&&y# What 45 He was "isorien!e" an" !rie" !o i&ure ou! w$ere $e was# In a ew

secon"s- $e remembere" !$a! $e was s!ayin& wi!$ $is aun! a&ain in <ana"a# T$is4 ?o# I! was a %ro=ec!# I

=us! wan!e" !o &e! my emo!ions se!!le"#5

7our !eac$er soun"s like a massive e&ois!8 o you know w$a! !$a! means4 Here we are ba!!lin&

issues on many ron!s# ;e $ave !$e nine eleven !$in& an" now we $ave !$e "ir!y oil !$in&# ;$en we

%ro!es!- !$e %oli!icians an" e9ecu!ives are usually %roessional enou&$ !o !ake i! in s!ri"e# )eke 7owler -

!$ou&$- soun"s very uns!able !o me# Hes wai!in& or you !o "o !$is# Im &uessin& !$a! $e provoked you so

you woul" acknowle"&e $is e9is!ence# o you know w$o 'le9 Jones is45 +ivian ri%%e" !$e le!!er rom !$e

yellow %a" !able!#

'le9 Jones4 7ou sai" $e %re"ic!e" nine eleven### same as ;illiam <oo%er w$o &o! s$o! by

"e%u!ies no! lon& a!er !$e a!!acks#5 Ta" won"ere" w$a! $is aun! woul" "o wi!$ !$e le!!er#

He s!rikes me !$is way# 'le9 Jones means well an" $e wan!e" !o be %resi"en! or a! leas! in

<on&ress# Hes somebody- bu! no! on !$e same level as Ronal" Rea&an# I bama sai" some!$in& !o"ay



makin& un o !$e way $e "resses- Im almos! sure $e woul" "evo!e $is en!ire webcas! !o i!# oes !$e

%resi"en! res%on" !o every bi! o cri!icism $e &e!s- !$ou&$4 ?o# Because $e can! "o i!8 T$eres !oo muc$

o i! ou! !$ere an" besi"es### ;$y woul" you "o i! i you coul"4 7ou can! %lease everyone#5 +ivian

$an"e" !$e s$ee! !o $er ne%$ew#

7ou !$ink %roessor eke owler is !ryin& !o &e! a rise ou! o %eo%le4 Hes an i"io!### bu! I !$ink

you &ive $im !oo muc$ cre"i!#5 Ta" ri%%e" !$e %a%er in!o %ieces in ron! o +ivian# Im no! &onna %lay

$is &ame8 I you !$ink $es !oyin& wi!$ %eo%le- I "on! nee" any %ar! o i!#5

;$a! were you &oin& !o "o wi!$ !$a! le!!er45 +ivian no!ice" le!c$er an" Ramon comin& !o

consciousness# /$e $a" sle%! alone in !$e be"room#

T$is45 In Ta"s $an"- !$ere were !iny bi!s o yellow scra%s# I was =us! messin& aroun"#

Everyone wen! !o slee% an" I s!ill wan!e" !o !alk# I! "i"n! mean any!$in&#5

(ood # o you &uys wan! !o "rive ou! or breakas!45 +ivian looke" aroun" an" no!ice" !$a!

Bren! was wakin&# E""ie an" ?ancy were s!ill aslee% cu""le" by !$e couc$# Ta"4 i" your !eac$er seem

insecure !o you4 ;as $e !$e kin" o &uy w$o %re!en"e" $e coul"ve been some!$in& &rea! i socalle" ba"s!u"en!s "i"n! $ol" $im back45

4eah# 'c!ually- you $i! i! on !$e $ea"# How "o you know %eo%le so well45 Ta"s !on&ue el!

yucky an" $e wan!e" some mou!$was$#

Jus! a $unc$- ki""o#5 +ivian wen! over !o le!c$# (ood morning 85 /$e knocke" $ea"s wi!$

$im !$en ran $er in&ers !$rou&$ $is $air# Rise an" s$ine85

+ivians &orvair was s!ill in a&mar an" so was le!c$ers "a"s /mpala# Everyone &o! u% an"

&o! rea"y# T$ey "eci"e" !o $ea" !o Toron!o !o ea!# +ivian "rove le!c$- ?ancy an" E""ie in $er <orvair#

Ta" "rove Bren! an" Ramon in !$e Im%ala# T$ey me! a! a enny,s# He seeme" like suc$ a nice %erson

w$en I me! $im8 Have you rea" $is reviews a! 3atey-rofessors.com4 /o many s!u"en!s recommen"e"

$im85 Ta" was $un&ry an" lookin& !$rou&$ a menu#

7ea$8 I rea" u% on eke8 T$a!s w$y I didn,t !ake $im# or every ive %eo%le !$a! sai" $e was

&oo"- someone was inuria!e" !$a! $e e9is!e"85 Ramon sai"#

He soun"s like a %olari.in& &uy-5 le!c$ inser!e"# 7oure e9%eriencin& 6co&ni!ive "issonance-

Ta"# Im &oin& !$rou&$ i! ri&$! now wi!$ !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen!# I remember bein& %rou" o

'merica un!il I oun" ou! abou! !$e "ark si"es !$a! !$ey %ar!ici%a!e in# The nine eleven stuff and the

concentration camp / documented in /ndiana# T$a! kin" o s!u# o you remember recen!ly !$a! some

iMa&&io &uy ki"na%%e" some &al in /an ie&o an" was s$o! "ea" by BI a&en!s in I"a$o4 T$a!s w$a!

Im !alkin& abou!# /ome!imes a amily member or a friend o !$e amily "oes some!$in& way- way ou! o

line# T$e min" "oesn! acce%! !$ese !$in&s### bu! !$ey $a%%en# T$e min" re=ec!s !$ese %$enomena an" kicks

6em ou!# &ognitive dissonance# T$a!s w$a! youre &oin& !$rou&$# I you can "eal wi!$ i! soon- i!s no

%roblem# I you "on! know $ow !o move on- were !alkin& men!al !rauma# I !$ink youre s!ron& enou&$

an" smar! enou&$ !o $an"le !$is#5

,syc$olo&y4 I was enrolle" in a basic %syc$olo&y class w$en I was !akin& &eolo&y# ?Vbler$



3oss- ri&$!4 'B'# T$a!s $ow !o remember "enial- an&er- bar&ainin&- "e%ression an" acce%!ance#

T$ese are !$e s!a&es o &rie# I was %u! in a classroom wi!$ a sanc!ione" "eran&e" %syc$o%a!$ic !eac$er# I

s$oul" eel some &rie or &e!!in& %ulle" ou! early- ri&$!4 I! was a nowin si!ua!ion !$ere# He $a" $is

%re"e!ermine" %e!s an" I was "es!ine" !o &e! railroa"e"# I almos! "i"n! &e! in!o !$e class- by !$e way-

because i! was illin& u% as! an" I was %u! on an a"" lis!# I woul"ve been be!!er o- i! !urns ou!- i I wen!

on !o some!$in& else# I !$ink Im %as! an&erri&$! now- bu! Im no! a! ull acce%!ance ye!# I!ll come# I

know i! will#5 Ta" /!ree!s or"ere" $is breakas! !$en sai"- )eke 7owler $as been !o me w$a! <$eney an"

Bus$ $ave been !o you &uys# ;e won"er $ow !$ese &uys &o! !$eir =obs bu! w$a! can we really "o45

7oure ri&$!- Ta"-5 le!c$ sai"# Im &la" youre makin& %ro&ress# I!s bes! !o $an"le !$ese

!$in&s $ea" on# I!s nice !o $ave su%%or!ive amily an" rien"s like you $ave $ere# ;ere &onna make i!#5

T$is &uy wasn! %re!!y- uncle le!c$# 7ou remember !$a! on Henley !une you an" aun! +iv use"

!o blas! on your s!ereo w$en I was a small ki"4 ir!y Aaun"ry4 6 / could,ve been an actor but / wound up

here... / just have to look good / don,t have to be clear ### ;ell- )eke remin"e" me a lo! o '>uidward rom

/%on&ebob /*uare%an!s### e9ce%! or !$e nose# His c$in was weak - !$ou&$# Maybe 3oger rom 6'mericana" mi&$! be more accura!e !o "escribe $im# +ig forehead and all # '!!rac!ive men lock !o Hollywoo" all

!$e !ime !o make i! as a ma=or silver screen ac!or# The great leading man# you know4 T$eres =us! no!

enou&$ slo!s !o make everyone in!o a bo9 oice sensa!ion# ,eo%le win" u% se!!lin& in lie# 6 / make my

living off the evening news... =ust give me somethingKsomething / can use### Many woul"be s!ars win"

u% as local !elevision anc$ors# In !$e aca"emic worl"- you wan! !o be %ublis$e"# 7ou wan! your ace on

<?? "a..lin& in!erviewers wi!$ min"blowin& !$eories an" !$e sor!# 7ou wan! !o be on some s%ecial

%resi"en!ial %anel o !$is or !$a!# )eke 7owler was !$e e*uivalen! o !$e "u"e w$o move" !o A' !o be !$e

ne9! Rock Hu"son### bu! ins!ea"- became Je Mic$ael#5 Ta" /!ree!s !$ou&$! abou! !$e 6co&ni!ive

"issonance i"ea# He el! a !in&e o &uil! or &e!!in& !$e ro!!en eelin&s o $is c$es!# / can,t hold this in.

/t,ll eat me- $e !$ou&$!#

;$os Je Mic$ael45 +ivian aske"#

/ome local anc$or on o9# He !$inks $e knows every!$in&#5 Ta" !$ou&$! abou! a ew Aos

'n&eles area $o! wea!$er &als an" resis!e" $is ur&e !o !ell !$e &rou% abou! !$em# Ins!ea" $e sai"- I was

wa!c$in& !$e <B/ ni&$!ly news a cou%le o weeks a&o# 7ou know !$e national news wi!$ /co!! ,elley4

?or!$ orea was $avin& some kin" o commemora!ion or im Jon&un an" some 'merican re%or!er was

!$ere in!erviewin& a la"y abou! !$e even!# /$e nee"e" a !ransla!or an" i! wen! some!$in& like !$is 6;$a!

ri&$! "o you $ave !o s!a&e !$ese e9!rava&an! celebra!ions w$en !$ere are s!arvin& %eo%le in your coun!ry4

Im %ara%$rasin& - o course# T$e !ransla!or aske" !$e ?or!$ orean la"y an" you coul" !ell s$e was

embarrasse" or !$e re%or!er# /$e almos! %re!en"e" !$a! s$e "i"n! un"ers!an" !$e *ues!ion# /$e mus!ve

been !$inkin& abou! our /u%erbowl $al!ime s$ows### an" $ow one in si* %eo%le in !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &oes !o

be" $un&ry8 /$e mus!ve !$ou&$! !$e &uy was an i"io! an" !rie" !o "eer# 'n" !$en we $ave !$a! &hick$fil$

A con!roversy abou! !$e owner un"in& ,ro% Ei&$!# o we !ake care o !$e $omo%$obia wi!$in our

bor"ers4 ?o8 ;e !ell Russia !$ey s$oul" be as$ame" or !$eir "iscrimina!ion a&ains! &ays8 Im !$e one



w$o oun" ou! !$a! )eke 7owler was a %ai" consul!an! or /$ell <ana"a# ;$y was $e in class %ro""in& us

!o %ro!es! !$e %e!roleum in"us!ry4 ;as i! a !ra%45

Bren! Hoover %oin!e" ou!- 7oure s!an"in& u% or &ay ri&$!s- i! seems### bu! youve calle" )eke

7owler a a&#5

7ea$4 I wis$ you woul"ve been in !$e class wi!$ us# &reation 'cientists claim !$a! !$e ossil

recor" s$oul" be consis!en! wi!$ %ur%or!e" evolu!ion# T$is is calle" 6 flood geology# I you look in !$e

se"imen!s an" in" an e9!inc! s%ecies $i&$er !$an a s%ecies !$a! recen!ly s%run& u%- !$en !$e 7lood of 1oah

e9%lains i!# T$ere s$oul" be no reason w$y we s$oul" in" a "inosaur $i&$er u% !$an a %ossum or raccoon-

or e9am%le# T$eres a $ole in !$is !$eory# Tec!onic %la!es sli"e all over !$e %lace# They slide onto one

another # I!s like cu!!in& a "eck o car"s# 'll o a su""en- w$a! was on !$e bo!!om one %lace is now res!in&

on !$e !o% o some!$in& else# /t happens# ;e see inconsis!encies in !$e ossil recor" because o !$is well

known &eolo&ical %$enomenon#5

'o45 Bren! won"ere"#

;ell- we were ou! in !$e "eser! c$eckin& !$ese areas ou!# T$is is w$en I s!ar!in& $i!!in& i! o wi!$!$a! Ju"y &irl rom class# 3emember / brought her home once4 eke looke" a! me like I s$oul" be

as$ame"# ;e were =okin& aroun" wi!$ eac$ o!$er an" &i&&lin& a! !$is or !$a!# Muc$ o !$e class $a"

alrea"y s!ar!e" $ea"in& !owar" !$e se"imen!s# I! was only me- Ju"y an" eke near !$e bus# Ju"y &rabbe"

$er back%ack an" ran !o ca!c$ u% wi!$ one o $er rien"s# I wasn! in a $urry an" s!ru!!e" alon&# Then it

happened # eke sla%%e" my ass like a s!ar *uar!erback %assin& a coac$ a!er a !ouc$"own# He sai"

some!$in& like 6 go get them bones an" I "i"n! !$ink a w$ole lo! o i! a! !$e !ime### bu! i! ma"e me eel very

uncomor!able#5 Ta" believe" $is s!ory woul" %rovi"e !$e %oin! $e was &e!!in& a!- bu! Bren! s!ill seeme"

unsure# T$eres a "ierence be!ween $omose9uals s$arin& love wi!$ one ano!$er insi"e !$eir own %riva!e

be"room### an" some %erver!e"- vul&ar %roessor makin& uncomor!able an" ina%%ro%ria!e %asses a! male

s!u"en!s# T$a! Bob ilner &uy in /an ie&o4 ' &ran"ma an" a bunc$ o o!$er la"ies came ou! an"

com%laine" abou! $im# I be! i $e was $i!!in& on &uys- !$ou&$- !$ey woul"ve swe%! i! un"er !$e ru& an"

labele" !$e "u"es as 6$omo%$obes# I!s wron&#5

/o "o you !$ink o!$er socalle" 6$a!e s%eec$ s!u is !$e same4 /omeones ou! !$ere %ressin&

someone elses bu!!ons un!il !$ey crack45 Ramon aske"#

7ea$# I !$ink i! $a%%ens a lo!-5 Ta" sai"# I! was early in !$e mornin& an" w$en everyone was

inis$e" wi!$ !$eir breakas!- !$ey s!uck aroun" or %ie#

Ta" "rove nor!$ alon& !$e !! !owar" Aake /imcoe# Bren! was ri"in& s$o!&un an" Ramon was in

!$e back# @uess w$a! coun!ry were in45

5h# <ana"a45 Ramon wan!e" !o %re!en" !$a! Ta" =us! aske" a s!u%i" *ues!ion bu! $e knew $is

%al was &oin& somew$ere wi!$ i!#

Luebec# 'ccor"in& !o Joel @arreau- ?or!$ 'merica $as nine "is!inc! na!ions# 7ou can! !rus! !$e

weal!$y es!ablis$men! !o !ell you !$ese !$in&s#5 Ta" $ooke" a ri&$! on Heral" Roa" !$en a le! on

;oo"bine 'venue# I was &oin& !$rou&$ aun! +ivs books a! !$e cabin an" oun" The 1ine 1ations of



1orth America wri!!en in 1FL1# I! $el%s you conce%!uali.e w$a!s &one on# Kuebec- oun"ry- ?ew

En&lan"> that,s what,s up here# ur!$er sou!$ an" wes! you $ave i9ie- Brea"baske!- Islan"s- Em%!y

Kuar!er- Eco!o%ia an" Me9america#5 He !a%%e" Bren! on !$e s$oul"er# I !$ink i!s un"er your sea!#5

le!c$er sai" !$e "ollar mi&$! colla%se an" ?or!$ 'merica coul" become a sin&le coun!ry#5 Bren!

reac$e" "own an" %ulle" !$e book ou!# He %asse" i! back !o Ramon#

T$eres !wo ways I see i!-5 Ta" sai"# T$ey %asse" !$e /$awneeki @ol <lub# T$ose ric$ "u"es

%u!!in& aroun" a! !$ose coun!ry clubs4 I !$ink !$ey wan! !o s!ay in %ower# I !$ink !$ey wan! !$e ?or!$

'merican :nion an" a !o!ali!arian &ri% on !$e &eneral %eo%le# I !$ink !$ey ul!ima!ely wan! a one worl"

&overnmen!### a! leas! some o !$em "o#5

Ramon !$umbe" !$rou&$ !$e %a&es# ;$a!s !$e o!$er o%!ion45

My aun! sai" some!$in& abou! ci!ys!a!es### an" !$a! book kin" o !ouc$es on i!# /$e s%en! !ime

wi!$ my &ran"%a Horace in +ancouver# He !$inks !$e :ni!e" /!a!es can! sus!ain !$eir &ri% on orei&n

bases# I!s no! =us! a ma!!er o ma!$ema!ics wi!$ our "eb! an" sale o bon"s !o <$ina an" o!$er orei&n

coun!ries# Ri&$! now- were sellin& bon"s =us! !o cover !$e in!eres! on ol" bon"s# I! can! kee% u%# T$elo&is!ics aren! !$ere# ur <on&ress is callin& or more an" more con!rols o !$e %o%ulous bu! !$a! !akes

resources like %e!roleum# How lon& can we kee% u% our naval lee!s4 How lon& can we kee% !rainin& =e!

i&$!ers4 Have you ever seen %ic!ures o ?ew 7ork- <$ica&o or Aos 'n&eles rom !$e air4 How many

millions o barrels o oil "oes i! !ake !o run !$ese ci!ies4 My &ran"%a sai" !$a! i!s alrea"y $a%%ene" e9ce%!

!$a! %eo%le "on! see i! or are in "enial# ;ere alrea"y in a ci!ys!a!e worl"# In !$a! book- !$eres a vas!

sec!ion o ?or!$ 'merica calle" !$e Em%!y Kuar!er# @ran"%a Horace sai" !$ese sec!ions are was!elan"s#

re" rom 7ouTube recen!ly came ou! o !$e close!# 7ay or in"e%en"en! en!er!ainers an" ar!is!s- ri&$!4

?o# He &o! $ooke" u% wi!$ ?ickelo"eon# I $e "i"n!- no one woul"ve ever covere" i! on !elevision news#

7ou $ave !o make i! through one o !$e &rea! ci!ys!a!es or you win" u% as a no one# 7ou win" u% as a

s!a!is!ic# 7ou win" u% as a number#5 Ta" "rove !$rou&$ Eas! @willimbury#

;$o was !alkin& abou! @uns ? Roses !$e o!$er "ay4 I! was !$e same w$en we were !iny

babies# @ ? R was known as a Hollywoo" ban" because !$ey s!ar!e" on !$e /unse! s!ri% %layin& &i&s a!

!$e Ro9y# '9l Rose was rom In"iana- !$ou&$# T$eres e9ce%!ions !o every rule an" Jo$n Mellencam% $a"

alrea"y !aken !$e sole available 6mi"wes! rocker s%o!# '9l Rose $a" !o make i! through Hollywoo" in

or"er !o &e! on!o MT+# /ame wi!$ %oli!icians# <$eney lunke" ou! a! 7ale an" was a "ra! "o"&er# He $a"

!o make i! in ;as$in&!on- < or else $e" be some ol" mec$anic or some!$in& in ;yomin&#5 Ramon

c$ecke" ou! !$e ma%s in !$e book# 7ou know4 T$is remin"s me o !$a! ?B< s$ow 6Revolu!ion !$a! =us!

s!ar!e"# T$e Monroe Re%ublic- !$e @eor&ia e"era!ion an" so on# I !$ink <aliornia is i!s own coun!ry an"

w$a!no!#5 In minu!es- !$e !$ree &uys were a! !$e lake walkin& aroun"#

T$e boys con!em%la!e" !akin& a "i% in !$e wa!er w$ile +ivian was "rivin& across !own !owar" !$e

a&mar co!!a&e# ?ancy was in !$e backsea! wi!$ E""ie# Homer <ock!ail !urns ive on 7ouTube

!omorrow-5 s$e announce"#

Who,s "omer &ocktail 45 +ivian aske"#



/ome i"io!# He %os!e" $un"re"s o vi"eos an" mos! o !$e commen!s are $orriic# 6 y ears are

bleeding an" !$a! kin" o !$in&#5 ?ancy s*uee.e" E""ies $an"#

o you &uys wa!c$ Ray ;illiam Jo$nson or /$ane awson45 le!c$ aske"#

;ere !$ey !$e ones w$o make !$a! lyin& ca! vi"eo45 ?ancy a""e"- T$e one lyin& !$rou&$

ou!er s%ace45

Im no! sure-5 le!c$er sai"#

My ne%$ew was rea"in& abou! !$e 1ine 1ations las! ni&$!- le!c$#5 +ivian "rove alon& !$e C#

/%eakin& o 7ouTube an" all- I oun" some!$in& yes!er"ay !$a! was in!eres!in&# I! was a TruT+

6<ons%iracy T$eory e%iso"e !$a! was banne" in !$e :/'### bu! i! aire" once over $ere#5

'n" i! $as !o "o wi!$ !$e 1ine 1ations45 le!c$ aske"#

7es# I i! wasn! banne" in 'merica- i! mi&$!ve $el%e" men!ally %re%are you or !$a! Beec$

@rove !$in& you "i" earlier !$is year# I! covere" !$e $un"re"s o !$ousan"s o mass %las!ic coins !$a! were

in Ma"ison#5 +ivian looke" over Ma%le Aake# /$e wan!e" !o su&&es! !$a! !$ey s!o% bu! s$e el! e9$aus!e"

an" ke%! on "own !$e roa"#T$e !ie !o !$e 1ine 1ations is w$a!45 le!c$er was curious#

n January 11- 2010 E9ecu!ive r"er 13P2L was si&ne"# T$is %u! in mo!ion a &ouncil of

(overnors an" "ivi"e" !$e :ni!e" /!a!es in!o !en re&ions# I! was brou&$! abou! rom !$e ?'' an" in

!$eory is aime" !o $el% !$e :/ in $ar"core crisis mana&emen!### like i a nuke wen! o in Bal!imore#

Remember !$a! <lancy movie4 ;ell- i! !urns ou! !$a! !$e e"eral Emer&ency Mana&emen! '&ency $as !en

corres%on"in& .ones# T$a!s w$ere !$e +eech (rove cam% i!s in# o you know w$y EM' "i"n!

res%on" well !o a!rina4 T$ey weren! se! u% or rescue o%era!ions no ma!!er w$a!s wri!!en on %a%er#

T$ey were se! u% !o roun" u% %eo%le# T$a!s !$e &oin& i"ea an" Beec$ @rove alls in!o Re&ion P w$ic$

inclu"es Minneso!a- ;isconsin- Illinois- Mic$i&an- $io an" obviously In"iana#5 T$ere were a ew

secon"s o silence# T$is remin"e" me o !$e 1ine 1ations book#5

Im &la" !o be away rom !$e ma"ness-5 le!c$er sai"#

Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon wa!c$e" yac$!s &o by an" !$ey wa!c$e" =e! skiers# Ins!ea" o swimmin&-

!$ey oun" a %lace !o ren! a row boa!# T$ey $ea"e" !o Aake /imcoes (eorgina /sland # ;e can come $ere

in !$e win!er an" "o some ice is$in&-5 Ramon sai"#

Bren! $eave" as $e rowe"# How muc$ more was i! or a mo!or boa!45

;e nee" !$e e9ercise#5 Ta" looke" aroun"# ;ea!$ers no! ba" now in 'u&us!### bu! Im no! sure

I wan! !o be $ere in !$e "ea" o win!er#5

ea" o win!er45 Ramon observe" a ew %eo%le is$in&# T$is is sou!$ern <ana"a8 ea" o

win!er "oesn! ma!!er like i! use" !o# (lobal warming# remember 45

Have you c$ecke" tm%.com la!ely4 <$ris Brown is in Hawaii an" s%raye" a mural wi!$ car!oon

mons!ers an" i! sai" 6uck !$e %olice# /i&n o !$e !imes4 He also %ain!e" 6 fruits piru w$ic$ is a reerence

!o !$e +loods# I woul"n! brin& i! u%### e9ce%! !$a! 'aron Hernan"e. was %os!in& &an& si&ns an" %ic!ures o

$is !a!!oos beore $e was %icke" u% or mur"er# "e had just signed a forty million dollar contract and he



was boasting about some affiliation with the +loods# ;$a!s !$e "eal45

7our aun! is always !alkin& abou! some cons%iracy !$eory or ano!$er# T$ey "on! !alk !oo muc$

abou! &an&s- bu! I !$ink !$a!s w$ere i! be&ins# ;$a! "i" your uncle le!c$ say was &oin& on4 A schism4

Jus! like !$e <a!$olic c$urc$ many cen!uries a&o# ;e are s%li!!in&# T$ere are !$ose o us livin& !$e nine

eleven lie an" !$eres everyone else !ryin& !o "is!ance !$emselves rom 3ogues- as $e calls 6em#5 Ramon

!a%%e" Bren! on !$e s$oul"er an" !ook over rowin&#

Bren! %an!e" or a ew secon"s# T$e %o%e s!aye" on one o !$ese islan"s abou! !en years a&o# I

over$ear" someone in line a! !$e boa! yar"# 7ou know w$a! else I $ear"45

;$a!45 Ta" aske"#

T$e :ni!e" /!a!es is &onna $i! !$e "eb! ceilin& a&ain in mi"c!ober# Treasury 'ecretary 6ew is

&onna make an a""ress la!er !o"ay#5 Bren! inally cau&$! $is brea!$ an" swi&&e" a bo!!le o wa!er#

I wis$ I coul" call 6em all cra.y# Im !alkin& abou! my aun! an" everyone else- even you &uys#

Bu! i!s $a%%ene" !o me#5 Ta" reac$e" in!o !$e lake an" s%las$e" some wa!er on $is ore$ea"# I kee%

wai!in& or every!$in& !o eel normal# I kee% seein& 1ero ea!in& &ra%es rom servan!s an" $avin& an or&ywi!$ all kin"s o women in my min"### all !$e w$ile Rome is burnin& !o !$e &roun"#5

+ivian /!ree!s sa! on a blanke! in $er ron! yar" near !$e wa!er well# ;e $aven! really !alke"

abou! /$a.bo! blowin& u%### an" I !$ink i!s a &oo" !ime !o "iscuss some o !$ese issues#5 E""ie an" ?ancy

were oolin& aroun" wi!$ eac$ o!$er near +iv w$ile le!c$er ske!c$e" !$e surroun"in& area wi!$ some

colore" %encils an" an oversi.e" w$i!e %a"#

I eel like Im in a "ream-5 le!c$er sai"# He visuali.e" /$a.bo! bein& alive aroun" !$em an"

s!ar!e" !o ske!c$ $im on!o $is "rawin&# ,ar! o my min" is !ellin& me no! !o !rus! my memory# There was

no android with us# you know45

Tom Mcay sen! an ou!ra&eous !e9!- Herman Eic$elber&er says !$a! Tom $as "ie" in co"e"

lan&ua&e an" Ive receive" emails rom a ew %eo%le &ivin& "e!ails# ne o !$em was Ma!! /!ubbs# He

sai" /$a.bo! an" ina$ were blown u% by Tom an" a team o /$a.bo! clones &o! reven&e by !ossin& $im

ou! o an air%lane#5 +ivian wa!c$e" le!c$er ske!c$# oes !$a! bo!$er you4 Is i! some!$in& we s$oul"

!alk abou!45

He men!ione" !$e ?illshot #5 le!c$ %u! "own $is %a" o %a%er# He also men!ione" a marc$ in

< in a cou%le o weeks# ,eace oicers are su%%ose" !o &o in!o !$e na!ions ca%i!al with guns an" "eman"

!$a! bama be im%eac$e"# T$ese &uys are %ar!ially coor"ina!e" by /$eri Joe- !$e &uy w$o !$inks bama

was born in enya# T$eyre &oin& !o &o in!o con&ress%eo%les oices an" demand !$e im%eac$men!- !$e

re%eal o !$e 'or"able <are 'c! an" a slew o o!$er !$in&s# Tom !e9!e" !$a! i!s a "iversion# He

men!ione" !$a! ?illshot #5

;$a!s !$e ills$o!45 E""ie aske"#

;e all know !$e <I' $as been involve" in some *ues!ionable %ro&rams# ne o !$em "eal! wi!$

remote viewing # T$rou&$ %syc$ic means- !$ey believe" !$ey coul" see wi!$ clari!y an" cer!ain!y !$in&s

miles away- even on o!$er con!inen!s# T$ey $a" sub=ec!s "o w$a! Im "oin&# T$ey woul" ske!c$ w$a! !$ey



coul" see in !$eir min"### an" now !$a! we $ave sa!elli!es everyw$ere- !$ese !$in&s coul" be veriie"# Turns

ou! !$a! some $i&$ level %eo%le became convince" !$a! !$e !ec$ni*ue was reliable bu! oicially- !$e

%ro&ram en"e"# -roject 'targate# Im %re!!y sure !$a!s w$a! i! was#5 le!c$er o%ene" u% $is %a" an"

s$owe" ?ancy an" E""ie w$a! $e was workin& on# Im no 8incent 8an (ogh bu! Im a li!!le be!!er !$an I

use" !o be in &ra"e sc$ool# T$e remo!e viewin& %ro&ram coul" be com%are" !o kara!e# I" be above a

w$i!e bel! bu! below a black bel!# I was in !$e ,en!a&on wi!$ my "a" an" I ma"e !$e smoke rom burnin&

incense move a! my comman"# I &o in!o "enial w$en I !$ink abou! i! !$rou&$ou! !$e course o !$e "ay### =us!

like I can! believe we $un& ou! wi!$ a so%$is!ica!e" robo! an" wen! !o amusemen! %arks wi!$ $im#5

' black bel! a! remo!e viewin& coul" "o w$a!45 E""ie aske"#

He coul" rea" !$e serial numbers rom a !wen!y "ollar bill in your %ocke!# He coul" !ell you

w$ere !$eyre "evelo%in& nuclear wea%ons in !$e !$ir" worl"# 'n"4 He can see !$e u!ure wi!$ clari!y#

T$a!s w$ere ?illshot comes in#5 le!c$er !ook $is %a" an" s!ar!e" a new "rawin&#

I! soun"s really s%ooky-5 ?ancy commen!e"# ;$a! is ?illshot 45

T$e Mayans sai" !$e worl" was &oin& !o en" !$is %as! ecember- ri&$!4 T$ere was !$a! 22 movie an" i! $a" !o "o wi!$ solar lares# ;ell- E"war" /now"en> that guy who "erman Eichelberger

couldn,t remember whether or not he worked with >came across many secre!s w$ile $e worke" or !$e

?/'# ne o !$em $a" !o "o wi!$ remo!e viewers seein& !$e solar lares ne*t month# T$e Mayans "i"

&oo" or comin& close !o %re"ic!in& !$is even!- bu! !$e <I' &uys !$ink !$ey $ave i! %e&&e"# T$is massive

solar lare is &onna ry all sa!elli!e circui!s w$en i! s%rin&s ou! o !$e /un# ;ell be %ro!ec!e" somewhat by

our a!mos%$ere bu! any!$in& in our orbi! will be .a%%e"# "undreds of millions will die# /now"en was in

Russia !alkin& abou! !$ese !$in&s# 'ny!$in& !$a! relies on sa!elli!es will be ren"ere" useless#

&ommunications will be out # 7ou can! use !$e 'TM# /!ores will be s$u! "own# ;$a!evers in your &as

!ank will be all you $ave !o !ravel wi!$#5

I! soun"s like a ear cam%ai&n-5 E""ie sai"# Bra"ley Mannin& was sen!ence" !o !$ir!yive years

an" now $e re%or!e"ly wan!s !o become a woman# 6 / might be cra%y but /,m not going to Alcatra% 8

Remember !$a! car!oon4 T$ese &uys are pretending !o be cra.y so %eo%le will lay o# T$ey be&an serious

bu! :ncle /am "eci"e" !o ri% 6em new ass$oles# T$ey &o! scare"### an" now !$eyre c$an&in& !$eir !une !o

&e! %syc$o!ic a&en!s o !$eir bu!!s#5

T$a! mi&$! be !rue bu! i! "oesn! mean !$a! i! coul"n! be a cover or some!$in& else# +ivian &o! a

!e9! rom Ta" ive minu!es a&o !o le! $er know !$a! !$e &uys s!o%%e" o a! !$e lake# He also men!ione" !$a!

news is release" !$a! our "eb! ceilin& will be reac$e" in c!ober# T$is coul" be a "iversion# ,eo%le are

&onna be on e"&e !o see i !$e i!een $un"re" Russian !roo%s ire a! !$e 'merican %eace oicers### i i!

buil"s !o !$a! crescen"o# !$ers are &onna wai! or !$is incre"ible ?illshot !$a! &overnmen! %syc$ics say

will !$u" $umani!y# 'll !$e w$ile- worl" renowne" economis!s like ,e!er /c$i know !$e ma!$ema!ic

reali!y o !$e bon" marke!- !$e e"eral reserve an" !$e na!ional "eb!# ne o !$ese !imes- were &oin& !o &o

!o <$ina !o borrow more money an" !$eyre &onna !ell us no# ;$a!s &oin& !o $a%%en when we can!

borrow anymore4 ?a!ional bankru%!cy- o course### bu! w$a! are !$e orei&n &overnmen!s &oin& !o "o4 ;e



owe !$em !rillions# ;$a!s &onna $a%%en45

EM' cam%s45 E""ie res%on"e"# He lau&$e"# I !$ink Ive reac$e" "elirium#5

+ivian s!oo" u% an" smile"# / will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today85 /$e *uo!e"

;im%y rom !$e ,o%eye car!oon# ;oul" anyone like some wine4 ;e $ave +ordeau* in !$ere#5

I" love some- $oney# ;$y no! brin& !$e w$ole bo!!le ou! $ere45 le!c$ ske!c$e" an" !rie" no! !o

!$ink o !$e u!ure# He "rew !rees- some bir"s an" !$e blue sky#

I! was la!e evenin& an" Ta" walke" in!o !$e cabin wi!$ a i!y%oun" ba& o rice over $is s$oul"er#

+ivian was on !$e loor rea"in& a book un"er a lam%# 'un! +iv4 ;e &o!!a &e! rea"y#5

Bren! walke" in be$in" Ta"# He carrie" a i!y%oun" ba& o beans over $is s$oul"er# Ho%e ya

&uys like burri!os85

Ramon walke" in carryin& a bo9 an" a ba&# T$e lake is &or&eous-5 $e sai"# T$e bo9 con!aine" a

slow cooker an" !$e see!$rou&$ ba& $a" a ew !rou!s#

;e !alke" !o a ew locals abou! w$a!s &oin& on# I! mi&$! be real- aun!ie# Every!$in& mi&$! s$u!

"own by !$e en" o !$e year# Luebec almos! became i!s own coun!ry back in !$e nine!ies# T$ere were allkin"s o %eo%le !$a! believe !$a! i !$e :/ alls- <ana"a will s%lin!er# Luebec mi&$! $ave i!s "ay a!er all#5

Ta" se! !$e rice in !$e ki!c$en# ;e $ave wa!er in !$a! well ou!si"e bu! Im no! sure i !$a!s enou&$#5

;$y "o we $ave !o &o in!o survival mo"e45 +ivian aske"#

T$eyre &oin& !o s$u! every!$in& "own# I !$ey can! %ay !$eir bills- !$eyre &oin& !o ree.e all

kin"s o bank accoun!s# T$eyre &oin& !o !ake over !$e &rocery s!ores# T$eres &oin& !o be army "u"es on

our $i&$ways#5 He &rabbe" a beer rom !$e ri"&e# T$eyre =ackin& %eo%le in /yria ri&$! now wi!$ nerve

&as# There are no rules out there# 'riel Bar is a socalle" Israeli mili!ary e9%er! an" $es %re!en"in& !$e

&asse" c$il"ren were merely $i! by cyani"e# octors Without +orders say !$ir!ysi9 $un"re" ci!i.ens were

$os%i!ali.e" an" a ew $un"re" o !$em "ie"# &hildren# T$ey are $i!!in& c$il"ren- babies- an" women#

;orl" ;ar III is ri&$! aroun" !$e corner# I !$is !$in& "oesn! s!rai&$!en ou!- we are lookin& a! bombs

everyw$ere8 T$e Russians are !ellin& us no! !o in!ervene wi!$ou! a :ni!e" ?a!ions resolu!ion bu! !$e

"unces un"er <$eney an" Bus$ alrea"y se! !$e %rece"en! "urin& !$e secon" Ira* war !o li% 6em !$e bir"#

I!s no! lookin& &oo"#5

7ou &uys rela9 wi!$ your beer# ;ere &oin& !o s!ay $ere an" !ry !o mana&e our ear an" %aranoia#

T$eres reason !o believe !$e cra% coul" $i! !$e an### bu! le!s no! be ras$ abou! every!$in&#5 +ivian "rank

some re" wine# on! &o ou! %ro!es!in&# T$a!s $ow i!s &onna s!ar!# T$e &overnmen! will $ave moles

see"e" insi"e o row"y crow"s# T$ese moles are &onna "o some!$in& $einous- like irin& &uns a! co%s in

rio! &ear# ;$en !$eyre $i!- i!ll make na!ional an" worl" news# T$is will be !$e be&innin& o !$e en"# I!

will be ?ent 'tate !imes a million# ;$erever you &o- i!ll be s$oo! irs! an" ask *ues!ions la!er#5

Im arai"- aun!ie### bu! weve &o!!a "o w$a! we &o!!a "o#5 Ta" looke" a! Ramon an" Bren!#

Ri&$! &uys4 ;e can! be arai" !o conron! an ille&al %olice uni!- can we45

I" like !o live !o i&$! ano!$er "ay-5 Ramon sai"# Remember w$en Evan"er Holyiel" $a" some

o $is ear bi! o by Mike Tyson4 T$a!s $a%%enin& !o us8 ?erve &as4 rones s$oo!in& a! 'mericans4



?erve &as in !$e Mi""le Eas!4 1ot fair #5

kay# I &e! i!-5 Ta" sai"# He wen! back !o !$e ri"&e an" &o! beers or Ramon an" Bren!# /o

!$is is a bi& s!a&e### e9ce%! !$a! %eo%le are &onna "ie# All the world,s a stage### an" !$is is massive

Broa"way &one violen!ly %rimal#5

;$eres everyone a!45 Bren! aske"# He looke" aroun"#

le!c$er- ?ancy an" E""ie wen! !o !$e s!ore# T$ey were !$inkin& like you &uys# T$ey wan!e" !o

s!ock u% on basics# T$ey s$oul" be back any !ime- now# I "i"n! eel like &oin&# ;e s!ar!e" !alkin& abou! a

killer solar lare ryin& all o our sa!elli!es# I s!ar!e" "rinkin& wine#5 +iv bur%e"# Ill be ine#5

le!c$ was "rivin& +ivs <orvair back rom a &rocery s!ore in Toron!o# ?ancy was in !$e back

sea! wi!$ ba&s o oo"# E""ie was in !$e %assen&ers sea! lookin& !$rou&$ %a%ers rom a manila envelo%e#

le!c$er sai"- T$a! was a li!!le weir" back !$ere# 7ou woul" !$ink I" be use" !o i! by now#5

T$eres some &oo" s!u in $ere#5 E""ie li%%e" !$rou&$ loose %a%ers# The Truther +attalion4

I! remin"s me o Mon!y ,y!$on or some reason# T$e ,eo%les ron! o Ju"ea- !$e Ju"ean ,eo%les ron!

an" so on# T$eyre all si!!in& aroun" se!!in& u% commi!!ees !o orm o!$er commi!!ees#5I won"er i !$a! &uy knew us-5 le!c$er won"ere"# He looke" like someone rom a movie wi!$

$is lon& &ray bear" an" $is ominous il!$y brown $a!### w$ic$ was way !oo bi& or $is $ea"- I mi&$!

men!ion#5

He %robably over$ear" w$a! we were !alkin& abou!-5 ?ancy sai"#

7ea$# He comes u% an"### ;$a! "i" $e say4 64ou want information on that 'yrian chemical

attack 4 His voice was &ruy# I! !ruly el! like an ou!obo"y e9%erience an" I was lookin& aroun" or a

"irec!or si!!in& on a c$air rea"y !o yell 6&5T: !$rou&$ one o !$ose cones#5 le!c$ %eeke" over a! !$e

%a%ers#

E""ie !ook one ou!# I!s a %rin!e" email rom avi" @oul"in& !o !$e oun"er o a : "eense

con!rac!or calle" 6Bri!am# T$a!s +ritam wi!$ an M or mouse- by !$e way# /oun"s like 6Bri!ain### bu! !$e

memo rea"s- 6We,ve got a new offer. /t,s about 'yria again. Lataris propose an attractive deal and swear

that the idea is approved by Washington. We,ll have to deliver &W to "oms# a 'oviet origin g$shell from

6ibya similar to those that Assad should have. They want us to deploy our 5krainian personnel that

should speak 3ussian and make a video record. 7rankly# / don,t think it,s a good idea but the sums

proposed are enormous. 4our opinion45

My o%inion45 le!c$er aske"# I !$ink###5

E""ie in!erru%!e"- I!s %ar! o !$e memo- le!c$# 64our opinion4 is !$e inal line# 'n" i!s "a!e"

rom January o !$is year#5

;ell i!s c$illin& because i! was almos! a year a&o e9ac!ly !$a! Barack ma"e $is 6re" line

commen! "urin& a "eba!e# T$e email in your $an" was $acke" an" I "on! know !$a! i! ma!!ers !$a! i!s a

$oa9 or no!# The 'yrian Electronic Army has been alleged to put out counter$propaganda# ;$y "o !$is4

I!s !oo s%eciic# I! looks like i! mi&$! be ano!$er alse la& o%era!ion# I! i!s in wi!$ every!$in& else# ;$a!

"i" !$a! man say4 6More money can be ma"e in one "ay o war !$an a ull year o %eace4 I "on! know



!$a! i!s economically accura!e bu! i! mi&$! be ano!$er ruse by !$e Mili!ary In"us!rial <om%le9# T$e

c$il"ren really "ie"# /,m sure of that # ;ere lookin& a! ye! ano!$er (ulf of Tonkin- !$ou&$# ;ere bein&

"rawn in# o you a&ree4 'm I o45

E""ie %u! !$e %rin!e" email in !$e envelo%e an" se! i! on !$e "as$# I!s no! =us! !$a!# T$e Russians

are cau!ionin& us !$a! we be!!er &e! a :? resolu!ion# We all know it wouldn,t fly# ?o! only woul" Russia

ve!o a!!ackin& 'ssa"- Im sure <$ina woul" as well# 'll i! !akes is one ve!o rom !$e ive %ermanen!

members o !$e 'ecurity &ouncil #5 E""ie almos! wis$e" $e was a :? ins%ec!or so $e coul" see irs! $an"

w$a! was &oin& on# He was rus!ra!e" !ryin& !o reac$ a conclusion base" o in!erne! inorma!ion an" a

orebo"in& el"erly man in a &rocery s!ore %arkin& lo!# T$is is ye! ano!$er a!!ack on 6rule of law as muc$

as any!$in& else# ;ere one s!e% closer !o a oneworl" "ic!a!or comman"in& "es!ruc!ion on w$ims an"

"ece%!ion# Maybe !$e email was abrica!e" by some &ooball wan!in& !o !$row a monkey wrenc$ in !$e

&ran" mac$ine# I i!s ye! ano!$er alse la& ma!!er- !$en i!s makin& me eel like a $ouse ly bu..in&

aroun" a slee%in& %ersons ear# ;$a! %ower "o we $ave anymore4 I!s !ra&ic !$a! civilians were &asse"#

;$a! can we "o45E""ie45 le!c$er knew !$e cabin was less !$an a minu!e away# I "on! wan! you !o !ell +ivian

abou! !$is# Im &oin& !o &o on ano!$er assi&nmen!# /$es $a" $er ill or now# I "on! wan! $er !o men!ally

burs!# 7ou =us! %re!en" !$a! we "on! know any!$in& abou! un"erlyin& mo!ives# ;ell =us! brin& u% ac!s

!$a! anyone knows abou! rom wa!c$in& T+# our :/ "es!royers are $ea"in& in an" !$e Bri!is$ are

"e%loyin& =e! i&$!ers in <y%ress#5

(ood deal # o you wan! us !o come wi!$ you on45 E""ie c$ecke" on ?ancy in !$e back#

T$ere was a $o!el !$a! ell !$rou&$ a sink$ole near isney ;orl"# T$ere were also a bunc$ o

!rees ou! !$ere cau&$! on ilm allin& ri&$! in!o !$e &roun"# ;ell $ea" !o cen!ral lori"a an" c$eck ou! !$e

swam%s#5 E""ie %ulle" in!o !$e "riveway#

I love alli&a!ors85 ?ancy sai"# 7oure no! su%%ose" !o lus$ !$e babies "own !$e !oile! because

!$ey &row in!o $u&e mons!ers insi"e o sewers#5

I !$ink I $ear" !$a! one beore-5 E""ie a&ree"# T$ey unloa"e" !$e &roceries# n !$e o!$er si"e o

!$e %lane!- :ni!e" /!a!es naval vessels %re%are" or ano!$er mili!ary in!erven!ion#

Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon s!aye" be$in" in a&mar# T$ey %re%are" or oomsday an" !$ey $ike"#

E""ie- ?ancy- le!c$ an" +iv !ook a (reyhound !o lori"a# T$ey wen! rom Toron!o !$rou&$ e!roi!-

<$ica&o- ?as$ville an" '!lan!a# T$e i"ea was !o eel ou! !$e socalle" '!lan!ic <orri"or as i! "evelo%e"

since !$e %assa&e o ?'T'# <ons%iracy !$eoris!s o!en s%oke o !$e even!ual ne ;orl" @overnmen!

%rece"e" by !$e Euro%ean :nion an" !$e ?or!$ 'merican :nion# Ma%s were %os!e" online ea!urin&

"ieren! $i&$ways rom Me9ico !$rou&$ !$e :ni!e" /!a!es !o <ana"a# ne s$owe" !$e /u%er <orri"or

skimmin& !$rou&$ ansas# In %lace o a "irec!ional arrow- a "a&&er was su%erim%ose" s!abbin& !$rou&$

!$e $ear! o !$e con!inen!al :/'# E""ie si!e" !$rou&$ !$e %a%ers in !$e manila envelo%e $e $a" been

&iven# He was !ol" by le!c$er no! !o men!ion !$e $acke" email rom Bri!am# E""ie oun" some!$in&

conversa!ional- i" you know !$a! i! woul" !ake !wo $ouse lies less !$an a $al year !o ill !$e %lane! !o



our arm%i!s i every e&& live" !o ma!uri!y an" re%ro"uce"45

;ow85 le!c$er sa! across !$e aisle rom E""ie# +ivian an" ?ancy were on !$e ar en"s a! !$e

win"ows# Tell me more#5

;ebs!er Tar%ley> the guy 8ivian was talking about >!$inks T$omas Mal!$us $as some!$in& !o

"o wi!$ !$e "ea!$ cam%s aroun" !$e coun!ry#5 E""ie observe" a si&n welcomin& %assen&ers !o lori"a#

Mal!$us wro!e a %a%er in FBC name" 6 Essay on the -rinciple of -opulation# ;$oever !$ose <arlyle an"

Bil"erber& %eo%le are- !$ey !$ink were be$avin& like unc$ecke" $ouse lies#5

;$a! kee%s i! rom $a%%enin&45 ?ancy aske"# ;$y aren! !$ere lies u% !o our arm%i!s45

&arrying capacity-5 E""ie sai"# He $an"e" $is s$ee! !o $er# Resources# <om%e!i!ion#5

T$e Bil"erber&s are our com%e!i!ion45 ?ancy looke" a! !$e s$ee! s$e was &iven# ;olves kee%

%o%ula!ions o "eer rom e9%lo"in&# I! says !$ey $ave a luc!ua!in& carryin& ca%aci!y# 6Man !$ou&$! $is

carryin& ca%aci!y was unlimi!e"- !$is !$in& says# 6T$e One -ercent believes i!s !$eir "u!y !o im%ose a

carryin& ca%aci!y beore !$e masses rava&e !$e %lane! like wil" locus!s#5 /$e $an"e" !$e %a%er back !o

E""ie# I "on! know w$a! !o say# I "on! wan! $ouse lies everyw$ere### bu! are !$ese "u"es su%%ose" !o be !ryin& !o kill everybo"y45

ne o !$ose "ocumen!s says we were =u"&e" as a coun!ry# ;e "on! "eserve &oo" lives# T$a!s

w$y !$eyre !rea!in& us like le%ers#5 E""ie looke" orwar" !o bein& on an airboa!# He $a" seen !$em many

!imes on !elevision bu! $a"n! !aken a ri"e on one ye!# 'cross !$e bus aisle- +ivians $ea" res!e" on le!c$s

s$oul"er# /$e sle%! "ee%ly# ;$a! are !$e our kin"s o c$emical wea%ons45 E""ie wen! back !o $is

ol"er# "ere# <$okin&- blis!er- nerve an" bloo"#5

le!c$er s$us$e" E""ie# He coul" eel +iv wakin& u%# ;$a! was !$a! you were sayin& abou!

ne%o!ism4 an Kuayle $as a son name" +en w$o ma"e i! !o <on&ress45

+ivian looke" ou!si"e o $er win"ow# 're we almos! !$ere ye!45

7es-5 le!c$er sai"# E""ie $as a lis! o sink$oles w$ere well visi!#5 T$ey ma"e i! !o rlan"o

an" c$ecke" in!o !$e /$era!on# T$e ollowin& "ay- !$ey were inves!i&a!in& !$e remnan!s o !$e /ummer

Bay Resor! in <lermon!- lori"a# Beore !$e /un se!- !$ey were on an airboa! ski""in& alon& ever&la"e

wa!ers# ' week a&o in Aouisiana- !rees colla%se" in!o !$e swam% an" i! a%%eare" as !$ou&$ !$ey $a" been

c$o%%e" "own by 'wamp Thing lumber=acks### bu! i! was only a sink$ole#5

T$eyre all over !$e %lace ou! $ere-5 E""ie sai"#

arlin&45 le!c$e" el! like a lucky man# He wa!c$e" +ivs "ark $air blow aroun"# He !$ou&$!

abou! Beyonces $air &e!!in& cau&$! in a an "urin& a concer!# +ivian4 I woul" eel more comor!able i

you woul" si! ur!$er away rom !$e %ro%eller#5 +ivian scoo!e" orwar" !$en le!c$er !ol" $er- I $ave

&oo" news#5

What is it 45 s$e aske"#

I &ave a ew mon!$s wor!$ o %$o!os !o your "a" w$en we were in ;$i!e Rock# Ive el! like

suc$ a mooch over !$ese years### a! leas! or %erio"s $ere an" !$ere# He sai" $e was close !o &e!!in& me

some!$in& le&i!- maybe a coee !able book wi!$ ,u!nam# I &o! a !e9! messa&e rom $im a li!!le w$ile a&o#



'll i! sai" was 6i!s a &o bu! I !$ink i! means I mi&$! $ave a lie o my own# I mi&$! be in"e%en"en!# I

a%%recia!e $ow your a!$er $as su%%or!e" us over !$e years# I &ave $im !$e /uma!ra s!u an" !$e Beec$

@rove work# I even &ave $im !$e ,olaroi" I !ook o you w$en we wen! !o /ou!$ 'merica#5 le!c$er !a%%e"

$is ron! ri&$! %ocke!# I el! like Ainus carryin& a blanke!# I "on! know w$a!ll be in !$e book### bu! I

mi&$! be able !o !ell %eo%le !$a! Im a %roessional %$o!o&ra%$er#5

Im $a%%y or you- le!c$er#5 +ivian scoo!e" ne9! !o $im# ;$a! will !$a! mean !o us as a

cou%le4 I never mean! !o !ra% you# I !$ink i!s $orriic w$en I $ear !$a! women ski% !$eir %ills in or"er !o

&e! %re&nan!# I woul"n! "o !$a!#5 +ivian was &la" !o be in swam%lan"# /$e "i"n! e9%ec! !o see any

alli&a!ors bu! was $o%eul !$a! a ew woul" s%rin& u%#

I "on! like believin& !$a! Im no! %ullin& my wei&$!# I was on !$e <I' %ayroll w$en <ornelius

was crus$e" an" I !$ou&$! you were %ancake" in !$a! "emoli!ion# I "on! like !$a! line o work# /t,s not me#

I wan! !o believe !$a! Im %u!!in& as muc$ in!o !$is worl" as Im !akin& ou!#5 le!c$ %a!!e" +ivs !$i&$#

;e coul" o%en u% a res!auran! like you wan!e" !o "o in $i&$ sc$ool# ;e can &o !$rou&$ our "reams rom

yes!eryear an" we can &e! !$in&s "one#5Im $a%%y### like I sai"#5 +ivian coul"n! %u! $er in&er on i! bu! s$e knew !$a! some!$in& was

wron&# ;ell celebra!e w$en we &e! back#5 /$e !$ou&$! abou! mus!ar" &as- sarin an" %$os&ene# 1o one

has said a word about 'yria since we left Toronto - s$e !$ou&$!# "ave they lost their conscious0 Are they

just avoiding the issue0 /t,s not like us to avoid the day,s news. That,s big right now# I coul" see us

o%enin& a &rin"er s$o%-5 s$e sai"# T$a! woul" be nice#5 /$e rolle" $er $air u% an" %inne" i! in!o a ball#

/$e $el" le!c$er rom be$in" an" wis$e" s$e "i"n! eel clueless an" insecure#

le!c$er Browne $ear" rumblin& in !$e sky# He looke" u%# T$ere were only clou"s#

Ill work or you-5 ?ancy sai"# '! your san"wic$ s$o%#5

E""ie <ally%so !$ou&$! $e $ear" !$e ro!or o a $elico%!er#

;$a!s &oin& on45 +ivian looke" u%war"# o you $ear some!$in&4 ;$a! are you &uys

lookin& or45

T$e noise became lou"er#

;$a! is i!45 ?ancy aske"# /$e looke" !o !$e sky an" wa!c$e" a <H1DF <ormoran! burs!

!$rou&$ lowlevel s!ra!ocumulus billowy %lumes# T$e lou" rescue co%!er $overe" above !$e airboa! !$en a

ro%e was !osse" "own# ne by one- !$ree men in army a!i&ues lowere" !$emselves on!o !$e "eck in ron!

o +iv an" le!c$#

'ha%bot 485 le!c$er screame"# Is !$a! you48 I !$ou&$! you &o! e9%lo"e" in ?ew Me9ico85

le!c$er was s!ar!le" a! w$a! $e was seein&# 'ha%bot made it out - $e !$ou&$!# Wait. 'omething,s wrong #

T$e o!$er !wo men !ook o !$eir $elme!s# T$ey also looke" i"en!ical !o /$a.bo!#

My name is 'lvin Browne-5 !$e irs! '$22@ uni! sai"# I $ave i"en!ical %ro&rammin& as your

"e%ar!e" c$um- /$a.bo! Browne# I also $ave $is memories an" !$a!s $ow I know you are a "ear rien"# I

am one o many '$22@ mac$ines- 6/ s!an"in& or !$e ori&inal uni!- 'ha%bot # 7ou may !$ink you are

e9%eriencin& a las$back- o sor!s- because I "o no! $ave enou&$ lie e9%erience ye! !o be$ave wi!$ my own



ori&inal %ersonali!y# Time is s$or!- !$ou&$# I am accom%anie" by Bra" an" <aleb Browne# 7ou can &uess

!$a! you are !$e ins%ira!ion or our %rovi"e" surnames#5

;$a!s !$is abou!45 +ivian aske"# ;$ere is ina$4 I know s$e was###5

?a +lowwie#5 Bra" ma"e an e9%losion5 mo!ion wi!$ $is !wo $an"s# /$e is sca!!ere" all alon&

a cer!ain s!re!c$ o a ?ew Me9ico "eser!#5

?o# I mean### w$y "i"n! you crea!e ano!$er45 +ivian el! !$e ace o 'lvin# /t feels just like

'ha%bot.

;$y "i" @o" crea!e '"am beore Eve45 <aleb aske"# ;$y is !$e /un $o! an" !$e Moon =us! a

rock wi!$ no use45

This is definitely the same programming as 'ha%bot - +iv observe"# Im su%%osin& you &uys wan!

!o blow !$is !aco s!an"45

Blow !$is !aco s!an"4 course85 'lvin "ance" similar !o Tony Manero in /a!ur"ay ?i&$!

ever# He %oin!e" u% !o !$e sky !$en "own !o !$e "eck# He re%ea!e" !$e mo!ion a ew !imes !$en locke" $is

in&ers an" s!ar!e" !o wave $is orearms#<aleb si&nale" !o !$e %ilo!# ' ro%e la""er "ro%%e" "own# &ome with us85

;$a! abou! our boa!45 E""ie aske"# 'crew this. We,ll figure it out later. 5ncle 'am has sent

robots and / don,t know how to say 9no;#

?ancy- E""ie- le!c$ an" +iv climbe" in!o !$e <H1DF# ;eve alrea"y con!ac!e" !$e %lace w$ere

you ren!e" !$e airboa!# 1ational emergency# ;e %ai" all your bills an" I le! a @,/ "evice s!uck un"er one

o !$e sea!s below# T$eyll &e! !$eir boa! back#5 'lvin %ulle" u% !$e ro%e an" la""er !$en s$u! !$e si"e

"oor# T$e %ilo!s name is 6 Eugene an" !$e "roi" w$o lowere" !$e la""er "own is 6inne&an#5

;$a!s !$e emer&ency485 le!c$er wa!c$e" !$e airboa! become a !iny "o! in a lar&e mars$#

;e mus! !ake you !o amascus85 'lvin reac$e" in!o a canvas ba&# 3ice cakes45 He oere"

oo" !o !$e !wo cou%les !$en %ulle" ou! bo!!les o wa!er# rink 45

'yria48 ;$y "o we nee" !o be in /yria485 le!c$er !rie" !o com%e!e wi!$ !$e roar o !$e

$elico%!er#

/ said amascus85 'lvin %o%%e" o%en a bo!!le an" "rank# ;e are !alkin& ;orl" ;ar III $ere8

T$e Russians are warnin& !$e :/ mili!ary !o no! in!ervene# 's ar as Im concerne"- !$e conce%! o !$e

na!ion is &one# I re%ea!- !$e conce%! o !$e na!ion is &one85

Have you been s%eakin& wi!$ my a!$er485 +ivian aske"# He !ol" me !$a! every!$in&s breakin&

"own in!o ci!ys!a!es# Every!$in&s a was!elan" in $is eyes i you "on! live in an im%or!an! urban cen!er#5

;ere no! !$ere ye!# 7ou s!u"ie" thermite w$en /$a.bo! was wi!$ you# T$is a"ven!ure is abou!

sarin# ;ere !alkin& c$emicals a&ain- bu! !$is !ime- were &oin& in!o !$e illusions o war# ;$ere were !$e

;Ms in Ira*4 ;$o s!oo" !o %roi! rom !$ese massive mili!ary e9cursions4 ;$o s!an"s !o benei! now4

're we cu!!in& o !$e nose !o save !$e ace485 'lvin coul" re&is!er !$e conusion in !$e $umans aroun"

$im# 7ou are !$e only %ure $ear!s le!# 7ou are !$e only ones willin& !o "ie or a %eaceul an" be!!er

worl"#5



;$y coul"n! you "o !$is yoursel485 le!c$er won"ere" i i! was %ar! o 'lvins %ro&rammin&#

The odds that we,re the only ones left0 That can,t be. What,s the deal with everyone else0 The Occupy

protesters0 The Anonymous dudes on 4ouTube. Are they fakes0 Are their hearts just a tad smaller than

ours0 /s this robot e*aggerating the situation4

o i! ourselves4 How lon& "i" i! !ake or /$a.bo! !o eel real !o you4 ' "ay4 ' week4 '

mon!$4 ;e are %ro&ramme" !o "o &oo" "ee"s- bu! you mus! remember !$e learnin& curve !$a! /$a.bo!

e9%erience"#5

7es8 I &e! i!85 ?ancy $a" an insi&$!# Molly <yrus !o!ally =us! became a woman in ron! o !$e

worl" a! !$e +M's !$e o!$er ni&$!8 'he,s like in adonna,s category now# ;e wa!c$e" $er &row u%-

!$ou&$8 /$es no lon&er an awkwar" li!!le weir"o "au&$!er rom a one $i! won"er coun!ry sin&er#5

;ell sai"85 +ivian %a!!e" ?ancy# /$e aske" 'lvin- ;$a! are we !o "o4 Talk to Assad 4 <ruise

alon& wi!$ :? ins%ec!ors45

I will re%ea! !$is over an" over Art is a reflection of life# Jules +erne wro!e abou! !ri%s !o !$e

Moon an" voya&es un"er !$e sea beore ?eil 'rms!ron& an" submarines were aroun"# 7ou "i"n! &o !o!allyinsane w$en /$a.bo! came in!o your lie because you $a" wa!c$e" Terminator beore# 7oure accus!ome"

!o !$e i"ea o robo!ics alrea"y# 6'simo is an incre"ible robo! buil! by Hon"a you can wa!c$ on 7ouTube#

He runs# He $o%s# 's ar as !$e 1inety$nine -ercent are concerne"- $es !$e bes! !$in& $umankin" $as !o

oer# @eor&e Aucas an" James <ameron are %ar! o !$e One -ercent - !$ou&$# 7ou all $ave been e9%ose"

!o !$e One -ercent an" you know a "ieren! reali!y !$an !$e common %erson# James <ameron knew abou!

'ha%bot an" $e knows a million o!$er !$in&s $e canno! "irec!ly !ell !$e %ublic# Ins!ea"- $e crea!es an!as!ic

movies w$ic$ s$e" li&$! on w$a!s really &oin& on be$in" !$e scenes# Avatar 4 T$a!s w$a! Im &e!!in& a!#

6ura!us was s$own !o !$e %ublic las! year# ' !$ir!eenoo!$i&$ our!on robo!ic e9oskele!on "esi&ne" !o

acili!a!e a $uman# T$a! was or !$e 1inety$nine -ercent !o see- !$ou&$# ;e $ave some!$in& or eac$ o

you !$a! will blow your min"85

'lvin45 le!c$er &rabbe" $ol" o !$e an"roi"s s$oul"er# ;e are losin& %eo%le in !$e :/

&overnmen! le! an" ri&$!8 ' ew mon!$s a&o- a&en! <ornelius /!uar! was smas$e" in !$e ,aul Bunyan

Ho!el### because /$a.bo! believe" $umans coul"n! &e! !$eir s$i! s!rai&$!8 Jus! a week a&o- you "ro%%e" $is

re%lacemen! ou! o a lyin& aircra!8 <oul" you un"ers!an" !$a! !$ere mi&$! be a !rus! issue $ere45

irs! o all- i !$e :ni!e" /!a!es "eies in!erna!ional law again- we can believe !$a! i! wen! beyon"

a 3ogue %resi"en!# Human ins!i!u!ions $ave o%era!e" !$rou&$ou! $is!ory# Mis!akes are ma"e# ;$en

@eor&e ; Bus$ sai" 6screw you !o !$e :ni!e" ?a!ions in 2003- a mis!ake was ma"e# His!ory clearly

shows !$a! a mis!ake was ma"e# n !$e %remise o wea%ons o mass "es!ruc!ion- !$e :/' an" a coali!ion

o !$e willin& slau&$!ere" $un"re"s o !$ousan"s o Ira*i ci!i.ens# ' mis!ake# I an in!elli&en! %erson or

&overnmen! "oes i! a&ain- i! is now a $abi!# T$is is a $abi! we mus! break#5

/$a.bo! was suc$ a fan o ; w$en we irs! &o! $im# ;$y are you cri!ical o $im45 +ivian

rubbe" le!c$ers back# le!c$ release" $is &ri% o 'lvin#

I $ave !$e same %ro&rammin& as /$a.bo! in re&ar"s !o lan&ua&e an" a ew o!$er !$in&s# I $ave



$is memory as well# /$a.bo! learne"# He was %ro&ramme" !o believe !$a! &overnmen! oicials be$ave" in

accor"ance !o &onstitutional law# urin& !$e mon!$s !$a! $e was wi!$ you- $e observe" coun!less

$y%ocrisy an" con!ra"ic!ions# ?o one wan!s c$il"ren !o "ie o sarin- or e9am%le# ;$y "i" !$e :ni!e"

/!a!es &ive sa!elli!e in!elli&ence !o Ira* in !$e la!e ei&$!ies w$en !$ey use" c$emical wea%ons a&ains! Iran45

'lvin "i"n! e9%ec! so muc$ conusion# Have you $ear" o '&en! ran&e45

kay# I un"ers!an" w$a! youre &e!!in& a!# ur &overnmen! "oes i! over an" over# T$ey knew

,earl Harbor was &onna $a%%en an" !$ey le! %eo%le "ie# In 200L- "eclassiie" "ocumen!s s$ow !$a! !$e

(ulf of Tonkin inci"en! was s!a&e"# <ronki!e calle" i! a %$an!om a!!ack# Im su%%ose" !o know !$is is

$a%%enin& a&ain#5 / can,t get my mind off the dying children. That wasn,t fake. Who would do such a

thing 4 le!c$er wan!e" !o consul! wi!$ +iv# His nerves were =i!!ery# He wan!e" !o se!!le on a %lan o ac!ion

bu! no i"ea woul" lock#

I know you &o! our messa&e-5 'lvin sai"# T$e ol" man in !$e &rocery s!ore %arkin& lo!4 He was

one o our &uys# ;e lis!ene" !o your conversa!ions "urin& your !ri% !o lori"a w$ile on !$e (reyhound # I

am %rou" o you &uys# 7ou really wan! !o win in lie85 6istened 45 le!c$er aske"# He %ulle" ou! $is i,$one# T$rou&$ !$is- ri&$!45

7e%# ;e knew $ow !o !rack you because o +ivians %$one in %ar!icular#5 'lvin reac$e" in!o $is

%ocke!# I $ave one !oo- you know4 I!s !o blen" in wi!$ !$e crow"s# I "on! nee" a s!inkin i,$one !o

make a call- !$ou&$#5

I youre like /$a.bo!- you $ave ;iki%e"ia in your circui!ille" brain- you also $ave wii an"

@,/#5 E""ie rubbe" ?ancys le&# o you $a%%en !o like amusemen! %arks45

'musemen! %arks4 I $ave no nee" or amusemen! %arks w$en Im lyin& in this mac$ine85 'lvin

sai"#

I like amusemen! %arks85 Bra" c$i%%e"#

;$ere are we &oin&45 +ivian "eman"e"# I mean- i !$e :ni!e" /!a!es is as! becomin& an

in!erna!ionally known ou!law s!a!e- we can! $ea" !o <- ri&$!45

ur $ea"*uar!ers are in 'n&uilla in !$e <aribbean# Every &rea! :ni!e" /!a!es businessman $as a

bank accoun! in an islan" near us8 Emilio Mola coine" !$e %$rase 6 fifth column. He marc$e" !owar"

Ma"ri" in !$e B<@ /%anis$ <ivil ;ar an" !ook our columns o !roo%s wi!$ $im8 T$e fifth column %er!ains

!o !$e screamin& su%%or!ers alrea"y insi"e !$e ci!y8 ver !$e years- !$is $as come !o be reerre" as

"issi"en! ac!ivis!s- %ro!es!ers an" sym%a!$i.ers# T$ey un"ermine au!$ori!y rom wi!$in# I was crea!e" by a

?or!$ro% @rumman clan"es!ine subsi"iary calle" 3ossum achinery /nternational - or RMI or s$or!#

@eneral ynamics- ?avis!ar- :ni!e" Tec$nolo&ies- Ray!$eon- Aock$ee" Mar!in- Te9!ron an" Boein& all

$ave corollary o%era!ions# Every %erson since FF@ knew i! coul" $a%%en# ne "ay- our !rue "emocracy

becomes a !yranny# Every con!rac!or $as a $i""en fifth column#5 'lvin was %lease" !$a! le!c$er an" +iv

seeme" less conuse"# or every our aircra! carriers buil! or !$e :/ &overnmen!- one was ma"e an"

sol" or %ennies !o a !$ir"worl" coun!ry w$o we coul" !urn !o in our $our o nee"# How "o we $i"e suc$

!$in&s rom !$e <$inese an" Russians4 ;e "on!# ;e buil" smaller mo"els some!imes# In our case- we are



$ea"in& !o a $elico%!er carrier o !$e coas! o lori"a#5

Bu! w$a! abou! our own mili!ary45 +ivian aske"# Is !$is a case o nine eleven w$en we a%%ear

only as %$an!om bli%s on ?R' screens### e9ce%! !$e opposite45

'omething like that -5 'lvin a&ree"# ne $an" never knows w$a! !$e o!$ers "oin& in !$is

&overnmen!- you mi&$!ve observe"# Mo$ame" '!!a !raine" a! Ma9well 'ir orce Base in Mon!&omery-

'labama8 7ou woul" !$ink !$a! inorma!ion woul"ve s%rea" like wil"ire a!er nine eleven bu! i! was los!

in !$e mi9# T$e 1inety$nine -ercent are &e!!in& robbe" blin" bu! !$ey are ull o "o& cra% ac!oi"s# T$ey

know w$o won eac$ season o 6Bi& Bro!$er on <B/ bu! !$ey "on! know w$o !$e real +ig +rother is in

real lie8 T$ey lau&$ a! %eo%le like you an" believe in %seu"oscience# T$e si9!y!wo s!ory 7irst /nterstate

+uilding burne" in Aos 'n&eles or more !$an si9 $ours bu! i! "i" no! colla%se in!o i!s own oo!%rin! as !$e

or!yseven s!ory /olomon Buil"in&- WT& F - "i" in ?ew 7ork# T$e lar&er Twin Towers were a! leas! $i! by

air%lanes8 T$ey were "esi&ne" !o !ake mul!i%le $i!s rom airliners- by !$e way# In 200D- !$e !alles!

skyscra%er in <aracas $a" !$e !o% !wen!y o i!y loors burn bu! i! "i" no! colla%se# In 200P- !$e !$ir!y

!$ree s!ory ;insor Tower was c$arre" in Ma"ri"### bu! i! "i" no! come "own#5;$a! "o you know abou! Tu%ac /$akur45 ?ancy aske"# ;as i! !$e &overnmen!4 Is $e s!ill

alive45

Tupac45 'lvin aske"#

Bra" o%ene" $is mou!$ in a lar&e # <aliornia Aove5 s!ar!e" %layin&# '!er a ew secon"s- $e

aske"- Is !$is w$o youre !alkin& abou!4 I $ave no!$in&# I know no!$in& abou! !$a!#5

I !$ou&$! you $ave ;iki%e"ia in your $ea"85 ?ancy slu&&e" Bra"#

3ight 8 He "ie" o in!ernal blee"in& a! D03%m Aas +e&as !ime on /e%!ember 13- 1FFG#5 Bra"

rubbe" $is bice%# &harlie horse85

7oure no use85 ?ancy sai"#

T$e &rou% lan"e" on a carrier manne" by many '$22@ uni!s# T$ere was an '%ac$e an" a ew

Harrier Jum% Je!s on !$e "eck# T$ey s!reame" in!o !$e '!lan!ic cean an" &o! slee%# T$e ne9! mornin&

!$ey a!e breakas! an" cruise" alon&# In !$e a!ernoon- 'lvin &a!$ere" !$em !o&e!$er- I $ave news#5

;$a! is i!45 +ivian aske"# /$e remembere" !$e <arnival cruise !$ey !ook in !$e <aribbean

earlier in !$e year# /$e looke" ou! a! !$e en"less wa!er an" !$ou&$! # We are moving so much faster than we

did on vacation#

;orl" ;ar III mi&$! be aver!e"# 7our service in amascus mi&$! no! be nee"e"# To"ay- !$e

bama a"minis!ra!ion $as announce" !$a! !$e e"eral &overnmen! will ease u% i!s res!ric!ions on s!a!es !$a!

$ave le&ali.e" mari=uana#5

'o8 ;$a!s !$a! &o! !o "o wi!$ any!$in&45 le!c$er !$ou&$! $e $a" &o!!en use" !o 'ha%bot w$en

$e was aroun"# He oun" $imsel rus!ra!e" a&ain# He !rie" !o s$ake i!#

T$eyre !$rowin& !$e %ublic a bone# ,olls $ave s$own !$a! less !$an !en %ercen! o 'mericans

wan! a war wi!$ /yria# ?one!$eless- !$e machine run by !$e ne ,ercen! $as %resse" !$e bu!!ons o !$e

me"ia an" <on&ress# T$ey !$ou&$! Bri!is$ %rime minis!er avi" <ameron coul" ram a resolu!ion !$rou&$



,arliamen! bu! $e was blocke"# 's Aabour ,ar!y lea"er E" Miliban" s!a!e"- 6Evi"ence s$oul" %rece"e

"ecision- no! "ecision %rece"e evi"ence# &ooler heads have prevailed # ;e can all believe !$a! !$e Bri!is$

$ave re&aine" orm# T$e :ni!e" /!a!es- on !$e o!$er $an"- s!ill suers rom ascis! collec!ive men!al illness

s%rea" by Bus$ an" <$eney#5

Bu! !$ey !$rew !$e %ublic a bone- ri&$!45 ?ancy aske"# ;e mi&$! &e! sna%%e" ou! o !$e s%ell

an" be a re&ular "emocracy a&ain8 'm I ri&$!45

'lvin crosse" $is arms- Tellin& someone !$a! youve crosse" !$eyre socalle" red line reeks o

!$e cowboy !$inkin& o !$e %rior a"minis!ra!ion# T$ere is s!ill a %rocess# !$er "emocra!ically elec!e"

i&ures s!ill nee" !o be in !$e loo%# 7ou can! =us! !ell a lea"er o a orei&n na!ion !$a! $es !icke" you o so

youre &onna sen" bombs $is way8 T$e core o i! is !$is In 200L- Iran an" /yria a&ree" on a "eense %ac!#

/yria "oesn! $ave a cra% loa" o oil reserves- as 'rab coun!ries &o# T$ey rank !$ir!yi!$ in !$e worl"###

bu! !$eir %ar!ner- Iran- ranks third in !$e worl"# T$e i"ea is !$a! Bri!am- a : "eense com%any- se!s 'ssa"

u% on !$e c$emical a!!ack# T$e :/ res%on"s in !$e &uise o $umani!arian su%%or! knowin& !$eir &ross

ailures in Ira*- E&y%! an" Aibya# /ome!$in& like osovo is %ro%ose" w$ere !$ere are no boo!s on !$e&roun" an" no 'mericans are $ur!# ;e all know w$ere !$is s%irals- !$ou&$#5

+ritam45 +iv aske"# 'm I missin& some!$in&45

I !rie" !o $i"e i! rom you-5 le!c$er !ol" $er# ;e came across a cra.ylookin& man in !$e

&rocery s!ore %arkin& lo! in Toron!o# He was sen! by !$ese &uys#5 He wave" $is arms a! !$e many /202G

uni!s aroun" $im# Latar wan!e" !o rame !$e /yrian &overnmen!# ;e "i"n! wan! !o s!ress you ou! any

more !$an you alrea"y were#5

I!s a mess# Bu! a! leas! were no! s%ee"in& !owar"s a worl" war now- ri&$!45 +ivian %inc$e"

$ersel an" el! a !iny %rick# 1ot a dream- s$e !$ou&$!#

;$a! $a%%ens now4 o we s!ill &e! !o mess aroun" wi!$ !$e robo! e9oskele!ons4 o we &e!

"ro%%e" o an" con!inue on our !our o lori"a sink$oles45 le!c$er !rie" !o console +iv by rubbin& $er

arm bu! s$e %ulle" away# /$e was !ense an" "isorien!e"#

;ell4 ;e wai!# T$is coul"ve s%irale" in!o Ear!$s worse ni&$!mare# T$e : was !$e :/'s

%ar!ner in crime# ?eocons o%enly $a!e !$e :?# 6In!erna!ional communi!y !o !$em means 1ATO- i no!

solely !$e secre!ive workin&s o !$e <ouncil on orei&n Rela!ions# T$eyve been $avin& !$ese %issin&

con!es!s# T$ere are seven coun!ries !$a! $aven! =oine" !$e 1FFC :? conven!ion !o ban c$emical wea%ons

Myanmar- 'n&ola- ?or!$ orea- /ou!$ /u"an- E&y%!- Israel an" /yria# T$is youn& cen!ury- so ar- i!s been

s$oo! now an" ask *ues!ions la!er# What third grader developed the 5' foreign policy4 T$e :ni!e"

?a!ions ins%ec!ors will "o !$eir work# T$e na!ions will a&ree on some!$in& accor"in&ly#5 'lvin unol"e"

$is arms an" $is in&ers i""le" wi!$ $is c$in# He looke" in!o !$e sky- Have you $ear" !$e s!ory o ,u

!$e Ma&ic ra&on45

Of course85 le!c$er sai"# I love" !$e car!oon an" I use" !o sin& !$e son&. -uff the magic

draaaaagooon###5 He sun& !$en aske"- 're we &oin& !o Honalee4 ;i!$ all !$e ba! s$i! a"ven!ures we

$ave- i! woul"n! sur%rise me a! all#5



'lvin s!o%%e" !oyin& wi!$ $is c$in an" looke" somberly a! le!c$- T$e Bri!is$ Em%ire is ,u-

you see4 T$e 'mericans $a" !$is incre"ible ree rei&n w$ile !$ey enable" !$eir reckless ac!ivi!y# I! was an

un$eal!$y co"e%en"ency- !$ou&$# ;$en ,u le! an" los! $is scales an" all- Jackie ra%er !urne" in!o

Jackie ,a%er an" became a "e%resse" li!!le ki"#5

That,s not how the story goes at all 85 +iv sai"#

My abili!y !o ormula!e ori&inal anec"o!es is a! or!y!$ree %ercen! ca%aci!y# I! will become be!!er

in !ime#5 'lvin !urne" rom +iv !o le!c$er# T$e %oin! is !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es $as &o! !o &row u% or else

i! will be all alone in !$e worl"#5

;e s!ill $ave 7rance-5 le!c$er sai"# 'n" Turkey- !oo#5

rance4 How lon& is !$a! &oin& !o las!4 T$e las! !ime !$is si!ua!ion %resen!e" i!sel- Bus$

boyco!!e" renc$ &oo"s an" we all $a" !o call our oo" 6 freedom fries an" 6 freedom dressing # T$a!

@eor&e ; Bus$ was a real cock# 7ea$- !$ere will be su%%or! i !$e :/ s!ar!s s$oo!in& i! u% a&ain# I !$ou&$!

you were "own on 'merica or all !$e "ea!$ cam%s an" $eavy$an"e" surveillance %ro&rams#5 'lvin

%oin!e" $is in&er a! le!c$s c$es!#I!s sym%a!$y is all# I "on! know w$y !$is $a%%ens# ne minu!e our own &overnmen!s kickin&

!$e cra% ou! o us an" everyones ma"### !$en we $ear !$a! no one wan!s !o be our rien" anymore# ur

economy is &oin& !o colla%se a! any secon"# I can! un"ers!an" w$y we can! in" balance# We used to

have balance#5 le!c$ nonc$alan!ly swa!!e" 'lvins in&er away#

How abou! a $elico%!er li&$! !o &e! our min"s o o !$is45 'lvin su&&es!e"#

/,m with you85 ?ancy sai"# I "on! wan! !o !$ink abou! ;orl" ;ar III un!il I see bombs

"ro%%in& aroun" me#5

T$e &rou% a&ree" !o ly aroun" !$e '!lan!ic# Beore !$ey boar"e"- le!c$er aske" 'lvin- ;$a!

"oes !$e 22@ s!an" or4 Is i! a ran"om number45

T$e 6/ s!an"s or 'ha%bot - as I $ave sai"# T$e 6202G4 T$a! will be !$e year !$a! an"roi"s $ave

e*ual ri&$!s wi!$ $umans- i no! more#5 'lvin w$is!le" !o Eu&ene an" inne&an# T$ey loa"e" in!o !$e

&ormorant an" ascen"e" in!o !$e sky# ;$en !$ey lan"e"- !$eir carrier "i" an abou! ace an" $ea"e" !o

3ossum achinery /nternational $ea"*uar!ers in 'n&uilla#

I! was ri"ay a!ernoon an" !$e be&innin& o !$e Aabor ay weeken"# T$e &irls s%las$e" in !$e

"ee% blue ocean wa!ers# le!c$ an" E""ie loun&e" un"er an umbrella si%%in& on %ia cola"as %oure" in!o

coconu! bowls# ?ine eleven was less !$an !wo weeks away# <er!ain "ays !ook on meanin& !o "issi"en!s

an" !erroris!s# T$e +oston +ombings $a%%ene" on !$e anniversaries o !$e ;aco sie&e an" !$e e"eral

Buil"in& e9%losion in kla$oma <i!y# T$ese even!s coinci"e" wi!$ !$e e"eral !a9 "ea"line an" !$e

observe" commemora!ion o !$e be&innin& o !$e 'merican Revolu!ion in <oncor"# <ons%iracy !$eoris!s

%ur%or!e" !$a! !$e B, s%ill was no! a sim%le acci"en! an" i! coinci"e" wi!$ Ear!$ ay- an observa!ion a

week a!er !$e o!$er "isas!rous even!s# or a ull "eca"e- /e%!ember eleven!$ was a!!ac$e" !o !$e Twin

Towers- ,en!a&on- /$anksville an" !$e ma"ness o !$e "ay in 2# n !$e eleven!$ anniversary- "i%loma!s

in Aibya were kille" by an arme" an&ry mob# n /e%!ember 11- 2013 !$e I 7actor was sla!e" or a season



%remier### bu! on 'eptember ninth- %eace oicers %lanne" a marc$ in <# T$ere were rumblin&s !$a! !$ey"

brin& !$eir &uns an" some!$in& coul" &o $orribly wron&# E9!reme blo&&ers believe" some %olice oicers

in s!ree! clo!$es mi&$! be an&ry enou&$ !o seek ou! !$e %resi"en!# T$e &irls loa!e" in <aribbean wa!ers

w$ile !$e &uys !alke" abou! !$e issues o !$e "ay# bamas no! even &onna be in ;as$in&!on !$a! "ay-5

E""ie sai"# T$e /un was s$inin& $o! bu! !$ey were %ro!ec!e" in !$e s$a"e#

;$eres $e &onna be45 le!c$er aske"# 'yria4 T$e :?45

' un"raiser### in <aliornia# I !$ink i!s unny# I really !$ink abou! !$ree or ive %ercen! o !$e

oicers wan! an arme" revolu!ion a! !$is %oin!# I !$ink !$ey an!asi.e abou! s!ormin& !$e ;$i!e House or

<a%i!ol Hill wi!$ &uns an" orcin& our lea"ers !o rea" !$eir com%lain!s# T$ey !$ink !$eyre &onna be $ear"#

T$ey e9%ec! some incre"ible con&ressman !o say- 6;ow &uys8 I never !$ou&$! o !$in&s !$a! way8 Im

&oin& !o conce"e !o all your "eman"s an" every!$in& will be back !o normal !omorrow mornin&85 E""ie

wave" !o ?ancy# I! looke" like s$e was !ryin& !o !ell $im some!$in& bu! $e coul"n! make i! ou!# 'lvin

was makin& un o !$e @, on our way !o !$is islan"# In some ways- $es =us! like 'ha%bot - bu! in o!$er

ways $es way "ieren!# He calle" !$e Re%ublicans a bunc$ o 6yellin& bi!c$es# He sai" !$e emocra!sknow $ow !o be$ave w$en !$eir &uy isn! in !$e ;$i!e House# He *uo!e" Ain"sey @ra$ams cri!i*ue o

Baracks /yrian %olicy#5 E""ie !rie" a /ou!$ern accen!- 6The idea of telling the 'yrians we,re gonna

attack# how we,re gonna attack# what we,re gonna attack with and when we,re gonna stop is just cra%y to

me8 T$a!s w$a! se%ara!es us rom !erroris!s- !$ou&$8 ;ere civili.e"### or were su%%ose" !o be8 ;e !ol"

Ira* !$e very minu!e we woul" a!!ack in bo!$ (ulf wars#5

T$ey are $y%ocri!es-5 le!c$er sai"# T$ey are haughty# T$ey !$ink !$eyre beyon" re%roac$#

T$ey can! win elec!ions any more### a! leas! no! wi!$ou! iebold ri&&e" com%u!ers !i%%in& !$e balance in

!$eir avor# T$eyre very scary#5 le!c$er was &la" !$a! !$ey woun" u% on a !ro%ical islan"# +ivian looke"

like s$e was !ruly en=oyin& $ersel# He $a" been concerne" abou! $er# 'lvin sai" !$a! !$e $acke" email

!aken rom +ritam is s!ar!in& !o look like a or&ery# Jo$n erry s%oke abou! some o !$e evi"ence a&ains!

al'ssa"# I! inclu"e" sa!elli!e ima&es w$ic$ s$owe" w$ere !$e c$emical wea%ons were launc$e" rom an"

w$ere !$ey lan"e"#5 le!c$ !rie" !o or&ani.e $is !$ou&$!s# I "on! know w$a! !o !$ink anymore# &ongress

"oesn! mee! or ano!$er cou%le o weeks#5

<on&ress4 I kee% &e!!in& !$e eelin& !$a! !$ey in!en!ionally %resen! "ecisive issues !o !$e %ublic###

like abortion during campaign season# Hal !$e %eo%le are &onna win" u% on si"e ' an" $al are &onna

win" u% on si"e B# I "on! !$ink !$ey wan! us comin& !o a consensus on many !$in&s#5 E""ie s!oo" u%#

're you rea"y !o =oin !$e women45 T$e &uys ran !o !$e ocean an" oole" aroun" wi!$ !$eir &irlrien"s#

le!c$er !wirle" +iv aroun"# 're you $avin& un or w$a!4 ;or" is !$a! were &onna see !$e

e9oskele!on sui!s even !$ou&$ we "on! $ave !o "o ba!!le in /yria85

+ivian kisse" $er man# i" you an" E""ie i&ure a way or %ermanen! worl" %eace45 /$e

walke" away rom !$e wa!er an" $ea"e" !o $er wicker loun&e c$air#

le!c$e" ollowe"# ;e !$ink i!s &onna &o one o !wo ways# /%eaker Boe$ners &onna $ave a

boner or a new war because $is con!rac!or cons!i!uen!s will s!u $is %ocke!s wi!$ money# Or they,re



gonna leave Obama standing because of political revenge or jealousy# Boe$ner usse" abou! Aibyan ac!ion

an" wan!e" !o im%eac$ !$e %resi"en! a cou%le o years a&o# I we s!rike wi!$ou! :? or con&ressional

a%%roval- someone mi&$! make a s!ink# These guys have been all about whims# keep in mind # osovo is

!$ere as a %rece"en! bu! !$ese ellows o!en are all !oo selec!ive abou! w$a! !$ey wan! !o see#5

I can! wai! un!il i!s all over#5 +iv reac$e" "own in!o an ice bucke! or an oran&e %o%sicle# I

mean- lie mi&$! &o back !o normal# Bri!ain "eci"e" !o "eba!e an" vo!e# I like !$a! i"ea# ;e use" !o "o

!$a!8 Im kin" o earul !$a! Boe$ner $as $is $ar" on or !$e war an" %us$es !oo ar8 <an !$a! $a%%en4

;e mean !o "o only air s!rikes !$en !$e alliance !$a! /yria $as wi!$ Iran kicks in- ri&$!4 Iran $as !$rea!ene"

re!alia!ion a&ains! Israel# &an,t this still lead to World War /// 45

I will no! worry abou! i! as lon& as were in !$is %ara"ise# -alm trees# <lean s$ore an"

mesmeri.in& ocean wa!er# I "on! wan! !o leave#5 le!c$er an" +iv c$a!!e" w$ile E""ie an" ?ancy swam

aroun"#

Rossum Mac$inery In!erna!ionals !wos!ory $ea"*uar!ers were loca!e" a $al mile rom !$e s$ore

an" !$e buil"in& s!ron&ly resemble" a $o!el resor!# I! even $a" a c$eckin "esk as a aca"e wi!$ ana!!rac!ive rece%!ionis!# ' ew vaca!ioners s!umble" across !$e %lace once in a blue Moon bu! !$ey were

usually !ol" !$a! !$ere were no vacancies or !$a! !$ere was o season remo"elin& &oin& on# T$e %lace was

no! lis!e" on any getaway web si!e# T$e u%%er loor ac!ually ea!ure" oice s%ace or e9ecu!ives# /ayin&

RMI $ea"*uar!ers were merely !wo s!ories was no! accura!e# Em%loyees wi!$ securi!y clearance coul"

!ravel "owns!airs w$ere !$ere were !$ree basemen! loors ea!urin& labora!ories an" !o% secre! %ro=ec!s#

'!er le!c$ an" +iv $a" enou&$ o !$e beac$- !$ey were !aken by 'lvin !o !$e lab w$ere '$22@ uni!s were

bein& manuac!ure"# I!s like Halloween# Ima&ine !$a! were a s!ar! u% com%any makin& masks# Ri&$!

now- our or!e is !$e ace you see in ron! o you> the same one that 'ha%bot had # ;ere &oin& !o "iversiy-

!$ou&$# 'll o !$e emales we make !$is year will look like ina$# ?e9! year4 T$ey can look like

anyone#5

?e9! year4 I !$ere is a ne9! year85 le!c$er was in awe o !$e %rocess o an"roi" buil"in&# ne

'$22@ assis!e" a $uman en&ineer wi!$ !$e assembly# 'lvin4 '! w$a! %oin! "o you believe you can "o

!$is wi!$ou! $uman assis!ance4 '! w$a! %oin! will '$22@ uni!s be e9clusively buil"in& i"en!ical clones o

!$emselves45

;e can "o i! now# ;e $ave a %ar!ners$i% wi!$ $umans an" !$ere is no nee" !o c$an&e !$e way

!$in&s $ave been# /!a!us *uo is ine# ;e will work on o!$er orms o ar!iicial in!elli&ence# ?'/' $as

ma"e an an"roi" !$a! &oes abou! like a &orilla# I! can climb la""ers# Humans like !o see !$eir orm bein&

re%lica!e"# ;$y "o we nee" syn!$e!ic arms an" le&s- !$ou&$4 Ima&ine i we can %u! ake brains in massive

mac$inery### like !$a! !$rees!ory !ruck in 'lber!a- <ana"a> the one going through the tar oil # Human

environmen!al &rou%s !alk abou! 6%eak %ro"uc!ion an" !$ey say !$a! we e9%en" more oil !$an we e9!rac! in

cer!ain %laces### like the shale mines in &olorado# Bu! w$a! i $umans "i"n! $ave !o run !$e %lace4 ;$a!

i !$e mac$inery ran i!sel4 ;$a! i we %lu&&e" in !o a solar %anel or a win"mill45 'lvin walke" alon& !o a

s!airway#



+iv ollowe" be$in" le!c$ an" 'lvin# E""ie an" ?ancy are missin& ou!# Maybe !$eyre $avin&

a be!!er !ime on !$e mo!or boa!- !$ou&$#5 T$e un"er&roun" lair seeme" e9!raor"inarily $i&$ !ec$# +ivian

won"ere" w$ere !$e eleva!ors were# Why are we using stairs4 s$e won"ere"#

T$e secon" un"er&roun" loor ea!ure" many scien!is!s in w$i!e robes# Mos! o !$em worke" in

ron! o microsco%es# o you know what nano$technology is45 'lvin aske"# Rossum Mac$inery is as ar

alon& as anyone# ;e are a! !$e cu!!in& e"&e o all "evelo%men!s ri&$! now#5

Hon"a $as a robo! name" 6'simo !$a! runs an" $o%s aroun"-5 le!c$er recalle"# T$a! is w$a!

!$e %ublic sees# Ive $ear" o nano!ec$ because o !$e me"ia !$rou&$ ?B< an" ?e!li9# In !$e series

6 3evolution- !$e worl" &oes "ark wi!$ou! elec!rici!y because o nanobo!s# T$ey are !iny mac$ines !$a!

selre%lica!e like viruses# n ?e!li9- I wa!c$e" a "ocumen!ary calle" 6 Apocalypse "ow# I! was abou!

!$e many ways $ow lie on our %lane! will %ossibly en"# (ray goo# I can! remember !$e !erm !$ey use"# I

!$ink !$ey sai" !$a! !$ese nanobo!s coul" &o ou! o con!rol# T$eyll !urn everything in!o &ray &oo#5

T$a!s science ic!ion85 'lvin sai"# He lau&$e"# /o was !$e oon lan"in& a! a !ime85 He

seeme" !o !$ink abou! i!# I su%%ose !$a! coul" $a%%en#5;$a!s &oin& on $ere45 +ivian aske"#

T$ese ine &en!lemen are crea!in& minia!ure ac!ories# T$ey are buil"in& !$in&s a! !$e atomic

level8 T$ey can buil" sim%le mac$ines !$a! !$e nake" eye canno! see# ;e can use !$ese nanobo!s !o !ravel

in!o your bloo" s!ream# T$ey can unclo& ar!eries# T$ey can kee% us $eal!$y an" we can live lon&er#5

'lvin %ause"# o you see $ow I s!ar! !o be$ave as i Im a $uman like you4 ,ar"on me# My bo"y $as no

use or nanobo!s### bu! yours mi&$!#5

T$eres a "ark si"e !o !$ese !$in&s#5 le!c$er walke" be$in" one o !$e scien!is!s an" !rie" !o

i&ure ou! w$a! $e was wa!c$in& on a com%u!er moni!or# I! looks like a virus# Is i! a virus45

+iruses $ave no me!abolism-5 'lvin sai"# T$ey inva"e a $os! cell an" screw wi!$ !$e R?'# I

we un"ers!an" !$e c$emical com%osi!ions o !$ese nonlivin& subs!ances- w$y s$oul" we no! !ry !o re

crea!e !$em45 'lvin walke" alon&# T$ere is a "ark si"e- yes# T$ey can be %ro&ramme" !o $eal an" !$ey

can be %ro&ramme" !o kill### =us! like nuclear ma!erials# <$ea% ener&y4 :l!ima!e "es!ruc!ion4 ;$a!s i!

really ma!!er45 'lvin reac$e" ano!$er s!aircase an" wen! "own#

7ou are assemblin& !$e '$22@ uni!s by $an"- ri&$! now# Aambor&$inis are %u! !o&e!$er by $an"#

're you workin& on a mass%ro"ucin& acili!y4 Is !$ere one alrea"y4 or" ma"e !$e odel T like IH,

makes %ancakes# Is !$ere &oin& !o be a "ay !$a! !$ousan"s or millions o /202G robo!s are ma"e every

year45 +ivian s!ill !raile" 'lvin an" le!c$ an" ma"e $er way "own !o !$e lowes! loor#

'lvin s!o%%e" an" !urne" !owar" le!c$er an" +iv# 7ou un"ers!an" calculus- "o you no!4 Aie is

no! as sim%le ac!orin& in one or !wo variables !o un"ers!an" economics- or e9am%le# T$eres a lo! more

&oin& on !$an obvious in"ica!ors# ' real es!a!e inves!or mi&$! %ay a!!en!ion !o !$e lumber in"us!ry- or

e9am%le# I lumber s!ocks &o u%- i!s likely !$a! !$ere is a "eman" or woo" !o buil" new $ouses#

Economis!s look a! !$ese in"ica!ors an" !$ey !$ink !$ey can see clear in!o !$e u!ure# Bu! w$a!s &oin& on

in /yria ri&$! now4 ;$a! i !$e :/ s!rikes !$en Iran sen"s missiles !o Israel4 T$e s!ar! o ;orl" ;ar III



woul" ren"er many "omes!ic in"ica!ors obsole!e in a secon"#5

7ou "i"n! answer my *ues!ion- 'lvin#5 +ivian %eere" across !$e room# T$ere were mice in

ca&es# T$ere were biolo&ical e9%erimen!s &oin& on# 're !$ere o!$er %laces like !$is4 're you learnin& !o

buil" '$22@ uni!s more eicien!ly45

;orl" ;ar III woul" s!ar! on /e%!ember !wen!yi!$-5 'lvin sai"# I $ave (oogle in my wire"

brain# I &e! 4ouTube- 7a$oo- AboveTop'ecret.com an" millions o o!$er c$annels# /ou!$ ako!a sena!or

/$el"on /on&s!a" $as been connec!in& !$e "o!s# T$e si&ns were !$ere or nine eleven- by !$e way# ;illiam

<oo%er knew ?ew 7ork woul" be a!!acke" an" !$e &overnmen! woul" %e& bin Aa"en as !$e %a!sy# 'le9

Jones knew !$is- !oo# 7o* aire" a s$ow in Marc$ o 2001 calle" 6The 6one (unmen in w$ic$ !erroris!s

%lo!!e" !o $i=ack a =umbo =e! wi!$ !$e in!en! !o cras$ i! in!o one o !$e Twin Towers# T$e seven!y%lus

fusion cells were crea!e" aroun" !$e coun!ry so !$a! !$e same mis!akes woul"n! be ma"e a&ain# I! was sai"

!$a! local law enorcemen!- !$e BI- ?/' an" so on were all on "ieren! %a&es# Many %eo%le believe !$ese

cells $ave %ar!ici%a!e" in non'merican ac!ivi!ies like %e&&in& 3on -aul su%%or!ers as "an&erously

sus%icious %eo%le or some reason# A bumper sticker can get cops on your ass# nowadays. Back !o !$e %oin!- sena!or /on&s!a" no!ice" scores o ominous ac!ivi!y rom EM' an" H/# ne %oin! si9 billion

roun"s o ammo# Twen!yei&$! $un"re" Russian MR', ve$icles# Millions o an!ibio!ics- wa!er %ouc$es

an" $ea!er meals !o be "elivere" !o EM's 3egion < by c!ober 1- 2013# Re&ion 3 consis!s o

,ennsylvania- ;es! +ir&inia- +ir&inia- elaware- Marylan" an" ;as$in&!on- <# Washington# &# guys8

T$ere are alrea"y i!een !$ousan" veriie" 3ussian !roo%s !$a! were brou&$! in since July### an" sena!or

/on&s!a" claime" !$ere are ac!ually !$ree $un"re" an" ei&$!ysi9 !$ousan" orei&n !roo%s $ere# Aan&ua&e

an" wea%on sys!ems !rainin& $a" !o be com%le!e" by c!ober irs!# There,s concern that the E3'

coronavirus is at play because the World "ealth Organi%ation held its second ever emergency meeting

recently# T$e ?a!ional @uar" mus! com%le!e i!s annual !rainin& by /e%!ember !$ir!ie!$# :/ mili!ary will

no! be allowe" !o leave rom /e%!ember !wen!yi!$ !$rou&$ c!ober secon"# T$e Emer&ency Broa"cas!

/ys!em is %lannin& "rills aroun" !$is !ime#5 'lvin !urne" away an" s!ar!e" walkin& !o !$e ar en" o !$e

buil"in&#

7oure s!ill no! answerin& !$e *ues!ion abou! mass %ro"uce" an"roi"s85 +ivian ollowe"# 're

you sayin& ;orl" ;ar III is aroun" !$e corner so i! "oesn! ma!!er4 ;$a! is i!45

'lvin reac$e" !$e ar wall# He %oun"e" on a lar&e re" bu!!on wi!$ $is is!# T$e wall in ron! o

$im s%li! o%en $ori.on!ally an" i! le" !o a "ark room# 'lvin licke" on a swi!c$ an" s!e%%e" in# le!c$ an"

+iv !aile" alon& an" !$e $i""en "oor close" be$in" !$em# T$ere was a sim%le woo"en !able in !$e mi""le

wi!$ a ew c$airs aroun" i!# T$ere was also a "ark re" cur!ain a! !$e ar en"# 'lvin sa! "own- I "on!

know- +ivian# Im !ryin& !o !ell you !$a! I $ave a bunch o inorma!ion in my $ea"### bu! !$ere is a lo! o

misinorma!ion# I believe !$ere are mass acili!ies somew$ere in cen!ral 'rica an" /ou!$ 'merica# I

$aven! been !$ere ye!# I "on! know !$e answer#5

;$a!s be$in" cur!ain45 le!c$er aske"# He "i"n! si! wi!$ 'lvin# Ins!ea"- $e con!inue" !o !$e ar

en"#



%en i!- le!c$er#5 'lvin &o! u%# T$ere is a sur%rise youll like#5

le!c$er Browne swun& o%en !$e cur!ain# T$ere were our robo!ic e9oskele!ons o "ieren!

colors# +lue# -ink# 4ellow and +lack # ;$a! !$e uck is !$is485 le!c$er Browne never cease" !o be

ama.e" by !$e an"roi"s an" by !$e $i""en elemen!s o !$e &overnmen!# They look like -ower 3anger

uniforms85

I!s a "is&uise-5 'lvin sai"# 7ou $i! i! on !$e $ea"# I can "ro% you in!o enemy !erri!ory wi!$

!$ese !$in&s# Have you ever $ear" o 6$i""en in %lain si&$!45 'lvin &rabbe" !$e yellow e9oskele!on an"

$an"e" i! !o +ivian# I!s no! as li&$!wei&$! as a leo!ar" bu! i! "oesn! $ave !o be# nce insi"e- i!ll "o !$e

runnin& an" li!in& or you#5

le!c$er li!e" !$e black me!al uniorm ou!# Hows i! work45 He looke" or a bu!!on#

I!s very in!ui!ive### like an i-ad 85 He looke" a! le!c$er# Rea"y45 He s%oke !o !$e uniorm-

onatello: / command you to open up85

T$e black s$ell s%li! o%en rom be$in" an" le!c$er s!e%%e" in!o i!# Wow8 Try i! +ivian85

I be! !$e secre! wor" o mine is one o !$e Teenage utant 1inja Turtles45 /$e wan!e" 'lvin !oconirm $er sus%icion# 6eonardo: / command you to open85

T$e %ink uni! insi"e o !$e close! o%ene" u%# 1o# no# no:5 'lvin %u! $is $an"s u% =us! in case i!

ell ou!# 6eonardo: 'hut off:5 T$e uni! close" an" 'lvin !urne" aroun" !owar" +ivian# 3aphael 8 7ours

is 3aphael 85

le!c$er was insi"e o $is robo!ic e9oskele!on an" walkin& aroun"# I!s a lo! more sleek !$an !$e

Avatar !$in&# oes i! ly4 Aike /ron an45

?o8 ?o! ye!8 I mean- were workin& on i!85 'lvin wai!e" or +iv !o !ry $ers ou!#

7ou were &oin& !o "ro% us in!o amascus wi!$ !$ese !$in&s45 +ivian el! nervous# 3aphael:

Open up85 Her uni! o%ene" an" s$e sli%%e" insi"e# /$e s!ar!e" %ouncin& aroun" wi!$ le!c$er# ;$a!s

!$e %ur%ose4 Is i! bulle! %roo45 /$e walke" an" &o! use" !o !$e inner in!ui!ive con!rols# 're !$ere

sensors insi"e !$a! "e!ec! w$ic$ way !$e bo"y is !ryin& !o &o45

le!c$er45 'lvin =o&&e" !o le!c$er# I wan! you !o kara!e c$o% !$e !able#5

What 4 I "on! know $ow !o "o !$a!85 T$e !able wasn! ar# le!c$er si.e" i! u%# Here i!

comes85 He li!e" $is arm u%### !$en $e lowere" i! !o !$e !able# He li!e" $is arm u% a&ain### !$en $e slowly

lowere" i! "own# He !ook "ee% brea!$s an" concen!ra!e"# He li!e" $is arm# "iiiiiiiiyyyyy:

4aaahhhhhh85 le!c$er slamme" $is arm "own an" !$e !able s$a!!ere" in!o s%lin!ere" c$unks# le!c$

smile"# +ivian4 I !$ink I know kara!e85

+ivian smile" back# ;$a! else "oes i! "o45

'lvin wen! back !o !$e close!# T$ere were "rawers un"er eac$ uni!# 'lvin %ulle" ou! $elme!s an"

!ook !$em !o le!c$ an" +iv# T$ese %rovi"e inrare" vision# 1ight vision# T$ey %ro!ec! a&ains! %oisonous

&asses# T$ey are bulle! %roo- by !$e way# T$ey oer communica!ions !o one ano!$er# 7ou will eel more

like a robo! as I eel more like a $uman8 I! works ou! or all o us85

+ivian %u! $er $elme! on# T$ere was a mirror o !o !$e si"e o !$e close!# /$e looke" a! $ersel#



I eel like one o !$ose &ylons rom Ba!!les!ar @allac!ica#5

I! can am%liy your voice- +ivian#5 'lvin sai"- ;$enever you wan! some!$in& "one- say

6 3aphael irs!# I! can "is&uise your voice so !$a! you soun" robo!ic an" many o!$er !$in&s#5

3aphael: 6ift visor 85 +ivians visor sli" back in!o !$e $elme!# Ra%$ael8 Jum% $i&$85 +ivian

s*ua!!e" !$en !rie" !o lea% !owar" !$e !wen!yoo! $i&$ ceilin&# /$e almos! !ouc$e" !$e !o%#

T$ere are &yros in !$e same %laces as '$22@ uni!s#5 'lvin e9%laine"- 7oull be like a ca!- mos!

!$e !ime# 7ou can! land wron& in !$ose sui!s# I!s like !$e new cars !$a! %u! on !$e brakes on au!oma!ically

w$en !$eres a c$il" "ar!in& ou! o now$ere#5

3aphael: Open up85 +ivian &o! ou! o $er yellow uni!# T$a!s really nea!-5 s$e !ol" 'lvin# I

nee" a res!- !$ou&$#5 /,m cra%y- s$e !$ou&$!# /,m dreaming or /,m cra%y. When is this going to stop4

RMI $ea"*uar!ers $a" !$e aca"e o a%%earin& !o be a $o!el resor! bu! i! serve" %rimarily as a

secre! "evelo%men! cen!er o !o% cu!!in& e"&e mili!ary an" "eense !ec$nolo&y# ?one!$eless- !$ere were

slee%in& *uar!ers on !$e irs! loor# le!c$ an" +iv s!aye" !$ere w$ile E""ie an" ?ancy wen! islan" $o%%in&

rom 'n&uilla !o !$e 'n!illes- /ain! i!!s an" "own !o /ain! Aucia# I! was Aabor ay an" 'lvin $a" been %re%%in& le!c$er an" +iv on various worl" issues# I! looks like ;orl" ;ar III mi&$! be on $ol"-5 $e !ol"

!$em# ,resi"en! bama $as "eci"e" !o wai! un!il <on&ress re!urns rom recess !o "eba!e in!erven!ion in

/yria# course- !$ere $ave been some con&ressmen !$a! wan!e" $im !o be$ave like a $o!$ea"e" "ic!a!or#

ne o !$em sai" !$a! $e is !yin& !$e $an"s o u!ure %resi"en!s by wai!in&### bu! I believe $e mean! !$a! $e

coul" be !yin& !$e $an"s o u!ure dictators### like !$e ones rom !$e %revious a"minis!ra!ion#5 'lvin me!

wi!$ le!c$ an" +iv in !$e same room w$ere !$ey !es!e" !$e robo!ic e9oskele!on ou!i!s# I wan! !o le! you

know some!$in&#5 'lvin briee" !$em aroun" a bran" new !able# T$e s$ar"s rom !$e one le!c$er

smas$e" were cleane" u% an" &one# 'ny!$in& can c$an&e a! any momen!# 7ou un"ers!an" trending -

correc!4 7a$oo !y%ically $as a !o% !en lis! o $o! !o%ics a! !$eir base web %a&e# ;ell- World War /// isn!

!ren"in& as muc$ as i! $a" been in %revious "ays# T$in&s like 6democracy an" 6 peace are on !$e rise#

,eo%le believe we mi&$! &e! ou! o !$is# I we &o !o war- a! leas! !$eir elec!e" lea"ers $ave a say in i!#5

're you "ismissin& us45 le!c$er aske"# I were $ea"e" !owar" %eace- we $ave no more use

or you# /$oul" we leave45

?o# ;ere no! ou! o !$e woo"s ye!# I wan! !o !ell you abou! 1ibiru# Have you $ear" o i!4

-lanet I 4 I!s !$e same !$in&# ;e $ave "iscusse" pseudo$science# ;e !alke" abou! thermite an" we !alke"

abou! !$e allin& o !$e Twin Towers# ;eve "iscusse" a! len&!$ !$e "isa%%earance o su%%ose" wrecka&e

rom /$anksville an" !$e ,en!a&on on nine eleven# 7ou brou&$! u% creation scientists an" !$e "eba!e

be!ween 6youn& Ear!$ an" 6ol" Ear!$ &eolo&is!s# I !$ink we even s!ar!in& coverin& 'cientology an" !$e

%ossibili!y !$a! aliens s!ar!e" !$e $uman race#5 'lvin looke" a! +iv# /$e seeme" "is!rac!e" or conuse"#

1ibiru is imminent #5

?ibiru is imminen!4 ;$a! "oes !$a! mean45 +ivian "i"n! wan! !o be !$ere any lon&er# T$e

mec$anical sui!s were un# /$e wan!e" !o be a! $er &ar"en in a&mar#

?ibiru is !$is su%%ose" %lane! !$e si.e o Ear!$# /ome cons%iracy !$eoris!s claim !$a! i! is in !$e



same orbi! as !$e one were in aroun" !$e /un# ;$ere is i!4 ;$y $aven! we seen i! !$rou&$ our incre"ible

!elesco%es4 ;ell- a la"y by !$e name o ?ancy Aie"er claime" !$a! s$e was a me"ium or e9!ra!erres!rials

rom "is!an! worl"s# 'he claims that she knows of 1ibiru and she says the government is trying to hide it

from the populous# I! "oesn! ma!!er i ?ibiru is ac!ual- you see4 I! ma!!ers !$a! %eo%le believe i! is ac!ual#

'ccor"in& !o Aie"er an" $er ollowers- ?ibiru is se! !o cras$ in!o Ear!$# The end of all life here# ?ibiru is

imminen!- you see45 'lvin "i"n! "o muc$ !o c$an&e +ivians conuse" e9%ression#

o you believe !$is is &oin& !o $a%%en4 I mean- youre a robo! an" you %robably are s%eakin& !o

!$e Hubble !elesco%e a! !$is very minu!e### !$rou&$ your elec!ronic brain an" all# Is !$ere &oin& !o be an en"

!o lie $ere even i we aver! World War /// 45 +ivian rubbe" le!c$ers !$i&$# /$e believe" $er

bewil"ermen! was s%rea"in& !o $im#

7ou ma"e !$e connec!ion- ma"am8 ;orl" ;ar III an" ?ibiru8 I! looks like cooler $ea"s are

%revailin&# How many !imes will we say !$a!4 'll o us are s!ill in collec!ive s$ock o !$e w$imbase" %as!

"eca"e# 1ibiru is imminent # T$a! is a co"e %$rase# I !$in&s sli%> if the hot heads regain control and

momentum >we can $ea" *uickly "own !$e bo!!omless s%iral# ;e can $ea" !owar" World War /// # ?ukeswill be lyin& an" un"er&roun" s$el!ers like !$is will be vi!al# 1ibiru is imminent # Ta!!oo !$a! in your brain#

I you &uys leave an" i you receive a !e9! messa&e rom me sayin& !$a! 6 1ibiru is imminent - i! means !$e

s$i! $as $i! !$e an# I! means !$a! Im a s!e% a$ea" o !$e mains!ream me"ia a! "eliverin& !$e mos!

im%or!an! messa&e ever !ol" !o $umankin"#5 'lvin no!ice" !$a! +ivian was ease" by !$e e9%lana!ion bu!

s$e seeme" !o wan! more# /!ay away rom 3egion <# I youre ou! in !$e s!ree!s rin&in& a bell on a s!ree!

corner !ellin& everyone !$a! World War /// is breakin& ou!- you will be roun"e" u%# Ironically- you coul"

en" u% in one o !$ose cam%s like !$e one le!c$er "ocumen!e" in Beec$ @rove# 7ou !ell %eo%le !$a!

1ibiru is imminent 8 :n"ers!an"4 T$eyre no! &oin& !o &o a!er crack %o!s as muc$ as !$eyre &oin& !o

roun" u% %eo%le w$o know !$e ac!ual !ru!$# course- you will only seem !o be a crack %o!# /ome o your

rien"s will un"ers!an" !$a! !$eres a $i""en meanin& an" o!$ers will !$ink youve ac!ually &one o !$e

"ee% en"#5

kay85 +ivian el! be!!er# 1ibiru is imminent 8 I can "o !$a!85 /$e smile"#

Ae!s $o%e i! "oesn! come !o !$a!-5 le!c$er sai"# 1ibiru is imminent # I &o! i!#5 He kisse"

+ivian !$en !ol" $er- I really wan! !o ca!c$ u% wi!$ E""ie an" ?ancy# T$eyre scoo!in& aroun" on a

merc$an! boa! an" i! soun"s like !$eyre $avin& a blas!#5

T$a!s no or"inary merc$an! s$i%-5 'lvin sai"# I!s e*ui%%e" wi!$ incre"ible ire%ower# I!s one

o our be!!er vessels#5 +ivian an" le!c$er !$anke" 'lvin or $is inorma!ion an" $is !ime# T$ey walke"

ou! o !$e room an" %lanne" !o "o some sailin&# i!een minu!es la!er- !$ey were aboar" !$e same <H1DF

&ormorant !$a! $a" li!e" !$em rom a swam% in lori"a# inne&an lew !$em ou! !o !$e boa! w$ere E""ie

an" ?ancy were is$in& rom near Barba"os# '!er lowerin& !$emselves !o !$e "eck- !$ey cas!e" ou! is$in&

lines o !$eir own# E""ie &ree!e" !$em !$en sai"- Im in %ara"ise# I never wan! !o leave# ?o oense- bu!

I" ra!$er no! $ear any u%"a!es abou! w$a! violence $as $a%%ene" in any "is!an! lan"#5 E""ie s*uee.e" a

lime in!o $is &orona E*tra#



I $ave !o !ell you one !$in&### because I !$ink you" be in!eres!e"#5 le!c$er %ulle" ou! a beer

rom an I&loo ice c$es!# I worke" on !$a! "ea!$ cam%### an" no one woul" believe me i I "i"n! brin&

$ome %ic!ures#5 He %o%%e" $is bo!!le o%en an" wen! or !$e sal! an" lime# T$e concen!ra!ion cam%s4

;eve $ear" o !$em an" weve seen !$em# What was that one in Te*as4 I! was calle" 6resi"en!ial $ousin&

or some!$in&### bu! !$ere was barbe" wire all over !$e %lace- ri&$!45 T$e bree.e was s!ron& ou!si"e# Eddie

is right about this place feeling like paradise- le!c$er !$ou&$!# T$e cam%s- accor"in& !o 'lvin- are !$e

%os$ &a!e" communi!ies in <aliornia85

What 45 E""ie lau&$e"# 're you =okin&4 i" 'lvin cross a use45

I!s a *uaran!ine" sec!ion o !$e s!a!e# I!s $ow conserva!ives =ail ric$ liberals# iseases- !o !$em-

aren! =us! 1" an" so or!$# &ommunism is a "isease### like alco$olism85 le!c$ swi&&e" $is beer#

6iberalism is a "isease8 i" you know !$a! 'nn <oul!er sai" we s$oul" in&er%rin! all environmen!alis!s4

7ea$8 T$ey are !ryin& !o *uaran!ine !$e wors!> the most e*treme >liberals in !$e coun!ry8 T$ey crea!e

%$an!om mons!ers# T$e %a%ara..i4 ' lo! o !$em are $ire" by conserva!ives =us! !o screw wi!$ ric$

Hollywoo" liberals8 T$ey "on! care abou! !$e %$o!os !$ey !ake8 T$ey $a%%en !o &e! %ai"- bu! !$a!s a by%ro"uc!# T$eyre main &oal is !o $arass# T$ey wan! liberals- emocra!s an" all o !$eir enemies !o eel

unsae# T$ey wan! !$em !o s%en" !$eir wa"s on %risons#5

By %risons- you mean !$e &a!e" communi!ies4 I!s a ancylookin& %rison### !o a conserva!ive- a!

leas!#5 E""ie %on"ere" !$e i"ea# ;eve been !alkin& a lo! abou! !$in&s $i""en in %lain si&$!# T$is woul"

be one o !$em#5

I! "oesn! make sense-5 ?ancy sai"# T$ere are conserva!ives livin& in !$ose communi!ies#

7oure !alkin& abou! Jus!in Bieber- ri&$!4 T$e %lace $e lives in <alabasas45

;ell- !$ere are "e%u!ies in =ails# Jus! because youre in a =ail "oesn! mean !$a! youre a criminal#

/omeone $as !o run !$e %lace# on! you !$ink !$ese liberals w$o ell in!o bi& money believe" !$ey coul"

e9%erience a muc$ more careree lie4 T$ey always $ave a nei&$bor !ellin& 6em !o !urn "own !$e music-

!$ou&$# on,t drive so fast # T$e w$ole %lace is a %olice s!a!e# I!s no! =us! !$e slums# I!s everyw$ere#5

le!c$er c$ecke" $is line# He !$ou&$! $e mi&$! $ave a bi!e# Turne" ou! !o be no!$in& or else i! =us! &o!

away#

I "on! believe i!-5 E""ie sai"# I !$ink !$ey mean or !$ese %laces !o become volun!ary %risons###

bu! !$eres a way ou!# T$eres got !o be a way ou!#5

;$a!s !$e crime45 ?ancy aske"# ;$a! "i" liberals "o !$a! was so wron&45

'ccor"in& !o 'nn <oul!er- liberals are men!ally ill# T$en a&ain- s$e believes we s$oul" conver!

Muslim coun!ries !o <$ris!iani!y# How4 <ar%e! bombin& !$em is ine# I!s ull o con!ra"ic!ions#5 le!c$s

irs! beer wen! "own *uick an" $e &o! ano!$er#

're we centrists a&ain- le!c$er4 ;e use" !o be cen!ris!s- ri&$!45 +ivian &o! a !ube o sun!an oil

an" s!ar!e" !o a%%ly i! !o le!c$s back#

He "i"n! answer $er *ues!ion# /$e sai" !$a! i! was treason w$enever Bus$ woul" s%eak !o a

=oin! session o <on&ress an" emocra!s s!aye" sea!e" w$enever Re%ublicans s!oo" u% !o a%%lau"# /$e $as



!rie" !o =us!iy !$e s$oo!in& o s!u"en!s a! en! /!a!e an" sai" s$e was e" u% wi!$ $earin& abou! civilian

casual!ies#5 He sna%%e" ou! o i!# &entrists4 Honey4 <en!ris!s4 I "on! know# ;ere no! e9!reme

ra"icals# 1ot anymore# Maybe w$en we were !eena&ers### bu! no! anymore#5

I remember 'nn <oul!er !alke" abou! 6&ree"y &ee.ers on 'ocial 'ecurity# T$a! was unny#5

E""ie ac!ually &o! a bi!e an" s!ar!e" !o reel i! in# ;ere no! e9!reme ra"ials45 He !u&&e" a! $is line# I

!$ink we" look !$a! way !o !$e common Joe ou! !$ere in 'mericas $ear!lan"#5 E""ie reele" some more#

;$a! we "o makes a lo! o sense !o us# ;eve seen !$e an"roi"s an" weve $ear" !$e !o% secre! news#5

E""ie %ulle" in a !wen!y%oun" wa$oo# Im almos! sure !$a! a re&ular com%le!e s!ran&er woul" "escribe

us as ra"ical some$ow#5

I &uess youre ri&$!#5 le!c$ &rabbe" a ne!# ur 6normal is "ieren! !$an mos! o !$e &uys we

wen! !o $i&$ sc$ool wi!$#5 le!c$er $el%e" &u! !$e is$ an" !$ey rie" $im on !$e boa!s &rill# /ure is nice

!o be ou! $ere#5 T$ey s!aye" on !$e wa!er un!il !$e /un wen! "own# T$e ne9! "ay- !$ey s%en! !$e ni&$! in

'ruba# By ;e"nes"ay- !$ey ma"e !$eir way !o !$e /ou!$ 'merica# T$ey c$ecke" in!o !$e 6idotel "otel in

,un!o i=o# T$e %lace was like an" islan" e9ce%! !$a! !$ere was a !$in s!ri% o a sin&le roa" # "ighway !-lea"in& !o !$e mainlan" o +ene.uela# T$is roa" ran alon&si"e !$e edanos e &oro 1ational -ark #

<aracas wasn! ar !o !$e eas!# T$ey !$ou&$! abou! $ea"in& !$ere# T$ey s$o%%e" or knick knacks !$en

s!rolle" !$rou&$ -ar>ue 6ouwerse# I! eels =us! like $i&$ sc$ool a&ain- "oesn! i!45 +ivian aske"#

"igh school 4 I remember comin& $ere a!er &ra"ua!ion an" I wan!e" !o live $ere#5 E""ie looke"

aroun"# T$e %lace s!ill el! !$e same#

le!c$er4 Remember I was sayin& !$a! !$ere woul" be a bi& "eal ne9! week45 +ivian wa!c$e"

bea"s o swea! %our "own le!c$s ore$ea"# /$e knew $im well enou&$ !o believe $e was !$inkin& abou!

&e!!in& back in!o wa!er# Remember4 I! $a" !o "o wi!$ %eace oicers marc$in& in <4 /$eri Joe

'r%aio- %olice c$ie Mark essler- an" %a!rio! blo&&er Bob ,owell were &onna &e! all !$eir bu""ies an"

!$eir &uns an" !$ey were &onna "eman" c$an&e> real change >in ;as$in&!on45 +ivian was &la" s$e

brou&$! sun&lasses# I! was bri&$! an" i! seeme" !o &e! $o!!er by !$e secon"#

7es# course# I! was !wo mon!$s a&o !o"ay#5 le!c$er wi%e" $is ore$ea"# He coul"n! $el%

s!in&y swea! bea"s rom makin& !$eir way in!o $is eyes# He s*uin!e" an" rubbe" $is nasal %assa&e#

our!$ o July- !$e bi& Tro=an $orse sur%rise### an" i!s one o !$e irs! !$in&s we !alke" abou!#5

I $aven! $ear" muc$ abou! i!### w$ic$ scares me a bi!# I looke" online an" I even oun" ou! !$a!

Mark essler was suspended or &e!!in& so ra"ical on 7ouTube# Bu!4 @uess w$a!45 +ivian %ulle" ou! a

re" $an"kerc$ie rom a vin!a&e s!raw $an" baske!# /$e &ave i! !o le!c$# Wear this# I $a!e !o see you

"renc$e"#5

Bu! w$a!45 He !ook !$e clo!$ an" !ie" i! aroun" $is ore$ea"# ;$a! is i!45

/ome!$in& else is brewin&# I can $ar"ly in" any!$in& abou! !$e ,a!rio! Marc$ on !$e nin!$### bu!

I oun" some conven!ion !akin& %lace rom !$e nin!$ un!il !$e !wel!$# I !$ink maybe !$e %a!rio! &uys are

ali&nin& wi!$ o!$er &rou%s### bu! i! "oesn! make sense because one o !$em mi&$! be !$e illion uslim

arch a week rom !o"ay on /e%!ember eleven!$# 'lso- !$eres su%%ose" !o be !wo million bikers# I "on!



&e! i!#5 +ivian !rie" !o make sense o i!#

;ell4 I know w$ere well not be ne9! week8 I "on! wan! !o be aroun" %a!rio!s versus Muslims

versus bikers8 T$a! "oesn! soun" &oo"#5 le!c$ !ook o $is ban"ana- wrun& i! ou!- !$en %u! i! back on#

ne o /$eri Joes bu""ies was kille" !$e o!$er "ay# 'hot in his front yard # 'll !$e "e%u!ies are now

arme" wi!$ '1P riles# I!s a combus!ive si!ua!ion# I wan! !o make i! !o <$ris!mas# I ;orl" ;ar III

"oesn! $a%%en i !$e ?illshot "oesn! wreck our %lane! i < makes i! !$rou&$ !$e conver&ence o

"ierin& ac!ions ne9! week i !$e 3egion < !$in& ne9! mon!$ !urns ou! !o be $o! air an" i 'lvin an" $is

an"roi" bu""ies "on! !urn evil on us### !$en I can brea!$e a si&$ o relie#5

I" like !o &o !o <aracas ne9!# ;oul" you like !o &o45 +ivian walke" wi!$ le!c$er# /$e

remembere" bein& in +ene.uela in !$e la!e nine!ies# /$e wan!e" !o eel &i""y a&ain# /$e el! ol"# /$e

$ar"ly ever el! sorry or $ersel# /ome!$in& was brin&in& $er "own# /$e wan!e" worl" %eace# /$e $ear"

beau!y con!es!an!s say i! many !imes# ;orl" %eace5 was a %o%ular !o%ic "urin& !$e in!erview %or!ion o a

%a&ean!# +ivian really wan!e" all o !$e violence !o en"# ;$ere are all !$e oil %la!orms- le!c$er4

+ene.uela ranks number one in %e!roleum reserves# I "i"n! see any %la!orms ou! !$ere#5Maybe !$ey know $ow !o be$ave# rill# baby# drill 8 ;$a! woul"ve $a%%ene" i /ara$ ,alin

became %resi"en!4 I be! 3uby,s in Hun!in&!on woul" $ave a %la!orm ri&$! ne9! !o i! by now8 T$e :ni!e"

/!a!es was !$e only coun!ry w$ic$ "i"n! re*uire an emer&ency acous!ic swi!c$ on !$eir os$ore ri&s# A

hundred thousand dollars could have saved billions# ;$o buil! !$e !$in&4 Hallibur!on8 'u!$ori!y i&ures

won"er w$y %eo%le &o cra.y# n one $an"- you $ave Hallibur!on $alassin& !$eir %e!roleum "rills in !$e

(ulf of e*ico an" on !$e o!$er $an" you $ave Hallibur!on buil"in& %risons everyw$ere# on! like w$a!

!$eyre "oin&4 T$ey $ave a prison or you8 I !$ink i! was BFB !$a! %rison labor became le&al or %riva!e

%roi!# 'AE< s!an"s or 'merican Ae&isla!ive E9c$an&e <ouncil### an" !$ey make !$e %olicies# I!s now

calle" !$e -rison /ndustrial &omple*#5 le!c$ el! ain!# <an we &e! !o a %ool45

7es#5 / am so glad to be out of the 5nited 'tates- +ivian !$ou&$!# Those poor souls up there.

They can,t win. Each of Jem wants to turn the clock back and it,s just not gonna happen # I can use a "i%85

+iv scol"e" $ersel or &ivin& u% $o%e# Who knows0 aybe the aliens take us to another planet: aybe

there,s a huge paradise on a distant world... and we get to go back to the beginning after all #

In ,ennsylvania- Herman Eic$elber&er s!oo" %rou" in a "ecora!e" army uniorm# I consi"er

mysel a &onstitutionalist # I really "o#5 T$e screec$in& o iron !rain w$eels &rin"in& !o a $al! was lou"#

Herman !urne" aroun"- almos! s!ar!le"# 6 omestic tran>uility means "ieren! !$in&s !o mos! o !$e

ci!i.ens aroun" !$is coun!ry !$an w$a! i! $as come !o mean !o me#5 /ol"iers unloa"e" cra!es o bo9es near

!racks# T$ey worke" "ouble !ime as i on a "ea"line# or mos! %eo%le- 6"omes!ic !ran*uili!y means !$a!

!$eyre nei&$bors can! blas! !$e s!ereo a!er !en a! ni&$!#5 's ar as Herman was concerne"- no one was

really sure w$a! was &oin& !o $a%%en in a mon!$# I !$ere was a secre! %lan !o !ake "own !$e Twin Towers

u!ili.in& ?/' in!elli&ence on nine eleven- Herman was le! ou! o !$e loo%# I !$ere was a %lan !o roun" u%

'merican ci!i.ens in 3egion <- Herman was no! sen! a memo# He was smar!- !$ou&$# He knew !$e :ni!e"

/!a!es &overnmen! embo"ie" !$e c$arac!eris!ics o ?i9on more !$an @an"$i# I! was becomin& more an"



more vo&ue !o believe :/ &overnmen! oicials were crooks# /ome %eo%le believe" !$ey were u%s!an"in&

%eo%le in a !ouc$ si!ua!ion# ?obo"y anywhere woul" mis!ake !$em as @an"$i- !$ou&$# Ma!!$ew4 T$is

%lace### an" !$e %lace were $ea"in& is !$e very manies!a!ion o w$a! I believe domestic tran>uility $as

become in !$e mo"ern era#5

Ma!! /!ubbs a!e a $o! "o&# I! looks =us! like !$e %lace I worke" a! in Beec$ @rove### e9ce%! !$ere

is no barbe" wire ye!85 Ma!! $a" never been in !$e mili!ary bu! $e %urc$ase" clo!$in& a! an army "e%o! an"

was wearin& a camoula&e" ou!i!# I! was !ou&$ !o $ear abou! Tom# I "i"n! like $im as a %erson> he was

mean >bu! $e "i"n! $ave !o "ie#5 Ma!! wa!c$e" a row o !en ei&$!w$eel 'tryker armore" ve$icles %ass

alon&#

7ou are a loyalis! an" !$a!s w$y I recommen"e" you !o re%lace Tom# or all %rac!ical reasons-

you are ac!ually re%lacin& <ornelius# Tom wasn,t in his position all that long #5 Two black $elico%!ers lew

$i&$ in !$e sky# ' !$ir" one lan"e" near Herman an" Ma!!# &ome on85 Herman $ea"e" !owar" !$e 5"$

@ &hopper an" =um%e" in# T$ey use" one o !$ese in !$e bin 6aden rai"85

Elwyn Hayes was alrea"y in !$e $elico%!er# Ma!! in!ro"uce" $im !o Herman- I wan! you !o mee!a &oo" bu""y o mine8 Herman4 T$is is Elwyn Hayes# He $as amily in !$e ?/' an" I !$ou&$! $e" be

!$e %erec! un"ers!u"y or me85

(ood to meet you85 Elwyn s$ook Hermans $an" an" !$e cra! li!e" in!o !$e sky#

7ou be!!er be &oo"85 Herman !ol" Elwyn- ;e lew you in all !$e way rom <aliornia# I "on!

know i Ma!! !ol" you### bu! we kee% losin& a&en!s8 I!s no! !$e saes! =ob85 T$ey cau&$! u% !o !$e o!$er

black co%!ers above# T$a!s !$e 'nnville Train /!a!ion8 Elwyn4 Have you been briee" on w$a! were

&oin& !$rou&$45

I $aven! been !ol" any!$in&# Ma!! calle" me las! ni&$! an" sai"- pardon my 7rench- 6T$e s$i! is

abou! !o $i! !$e an85 Elwyn Hayes wore a &ray uniorm# Im a mec$anic# I "i"n! &o $ome !o c$an&e# I

$ea"e" !o Jo$n ;ayne 'ir%or! an" &o! in !$is !$in&85

T$e s$i!s &onna $i! !$e an45 Herman aske"# I! mi&$!8 ;e "on! know ye!# Im ei&$!y %ercen!

%osi!ive !$a! EM' will s!ar! roun"in& u% 'mericans ne9! mon!$### i no! a week rom now8 Ten miles !o

!$e wes! is Hers$ey- ,ennsylvania8 Im almos! sure !$ey s!ill make c$ocola!e bars !$ere8 Ten miles !o !$e

nor!$ is or! In"ian!own @a%8 ,o%ula!ion4 icially less !$an !wo $un"re"8 I!s !wen!y !$ousan" acres o

!rainin& area- !$ou&$- an" a! any &iven !ime !$ere are !ens o !$ousan"s o %eo%le sca!!ere" $ere an" !$ere#

Muir 'rmy 'iriel" isn! ar o# T$eyre always "oin& e9ercises# In !$e mi"seven!ies- !$ere were more

!$an !$ir!y !$ousan" +ie!namese an" <ambo"ian reu&ees livin& !$ere# In BC- !$ere was abou! !wen!y

!$ousan" <ubans8 7ou see w$ere !$is is &oin&45

1o... sir 85 Elwyn barke"#

Re&ion 3- Elwyn8 ;e are in EM's 3egion <8 T$e :ni!e" /!a!es mi&$! no! be able !o %ay i!s

bills in !$e near u!ure8 T$a!s &oin& !o leave a lo! o %eo%le !icke" o8 T$eyll !ake !o !$e s!ree!s an"

!$eyll $ave &uns8 ;$a! are we !o "o4 Ae! !$em s$oo! ran"om %eo%le all over !$e %lace45 Ma!! brou&$! a

brown %a%er ba& o $o! "o&s wra%%e" in oil# "ungry45 He !ook one ou! an" oere" i! !o Elwyn#



Elwyn "ecline" bu! Herman !ook i! wi!$ou! sayin& a wor"# I am $ere !o su%%or! you- ri&$! Ma!!4

;$a! s%eciically "o you wan! me !o "o45

3elay messages... and don,t break down85 Ma!! !ook ou! a !$ick sausa&e link an" s*uir!e" relis$

on i! rom a con"imen! %acke!# ;e were in !$a! :<A' men!al acili!y or a reason8 T$ey %eere" in!o our

%syc$e# We have what it takes8 ;e can &o alon& wi!$ !$is !y%e o o%era!ion wi!$ou! raisin& a uss#5

I "on! like !o !$ink o mysel as a mean %erson### bu! a "u"es &o! !o "o w$a! a "u"es &o! !o "o85

Elwyn looke" "own# T$ey were lyin& over !$e B<! an" were near Memorial Aake# I eel like Im in !$e

mi""le o an action movie- Ma!!$ew# Im &oin& !o be ine#5

Ill $ave you know some!$in&- Mis!er Hayes#5 Herman Eic$elber&er !$ou&$! abou! !$e %eo%le on

!$e &roun"# He !a%%e" in!o conspiracy si!es every now an" !$en an" $e knew abou! !$e %aranoia !$a! !$e

black $elico%!ers inci!e"# Ma!! $a" even seeme" uneasy w$en !$ey irs! arrive" a! !$e 'nnville Train

/!a!ion# 7oure &oin& back !o !$e :<A' me"ical acili!y i !$is !urns ou! !o be a "ry run# I !$is $y%e

blows over- were &oin& !o $ave !o reacclima!e you !o an or"inary worl"# I!s like a "ecom%ression

c$amber- you see4 I!s more o a %syc$olo&ical !ransi!ion !$an a %$ysiolo&ical one- !$ou&$# I !$e :ni!e"/!a!es %ays i!s bills an" !$e %a!rio! &rou%s calm "own- were all &oin& !o $ea" back !o %ersonal norms# I

!$e Million Muslim Marc$ !urns ou! !o be !$ree $un"re" o""balls %ro!es!in&- we $ave no!$in& a! all !o

worry abou!8 ;e $o%e or !$e bes! an" %re%are or !$e wors!85

Mis!er Eic$elber&er- sir4 I $ave been %re%arin& or !$is my w$ole lie# I know w$a! Im in !$e

mi""le o# I know w$y I &e! !osse" aroun" an" I know w$y I &e! calle" !o "o "ir!y work#5 Elwyn looke"

"own a! ive !anks "rivin& alon& 'mmo Roa"# I am cra.y- Mis!er Eic$elber&er# In a sane worl"- I am

cra.y# In !$is worl"4 I i! in#5

T$e 5"$@ lan"e" near a lar&e- "ark &reen !en!# T$e o!$er !wo black $elico%!ers $ea"e" sou!$#

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs4 I" like you !o mee! Aewis aulkner rom !$e e"eral Emer&ency Mana&emen! '&ency#

To $is le!- !$a! is avi" @rossman rom !$e e%ar!men! o Homelan" /ecuri!y# Be$in" !$em a! !$e "esk is

/er&i :rnov rom EE3&O # Hes been ins!rumen!al a! brin&in& i!een !$ousan" o $is !roo%s !o

'merica an" many o !$em are $ere ri&$! now !rainin&#5

-leased to meet you#5 Ma!! li!e" $is %alm in a &ree!in& &es!ure#

7ou will s$a"ow !$ese &uys an" make re%or!s !o me every evenin&# 6ogistics# I nee" you !o

mas!er lo&is!ics- Ma!!$ew# I nee" !o know $ow many %eo%le are movin& aroun"# I nee" !o know $ow

many %eo%le $ave become %roblema!ic# ;e aren! ar rom Harrisbur&# T$ere is a minimum securi!y

%rison !$ere calle" &amp "ill # Aocals $ave com%laine" !$a! i! looks !oo scary o all !$in&s# I! $as a

%ro!ru"in& &uar" !ower an" s$iny coile" ra.ors$ar% barbe" wire all over !$e %lace# T$e %risoners !$ere

will $ave !o be move" !o !$e Beec$ @rove %lace#5 Herman s!u"ie" Ma!!# or !$e irs! !ime- i! looke" like

$e was &e!!in& col" ee!# He aver!e" eye con!ac! an" bi! $is li%# 're we un"ers!oo"4 Ae! me make mysel

com%le!ely clear i I am no! un"ers!oo"# I !$e :ni!e" /!a!es o 'merica can no lon&er unc!ion as a

%eaceul "emocracy- we will "e!ain an" kill millions o olks w$o never a!$ome" !$a! suc$ !$in& coul"

$a%%en ou!si"e o an 'M< !$ea!re#5



Ao&is!ics4 I un"ers!an" lo&is!ics# I un"ers!an" inven!ory con!rol#5 Ma!! !rie" !o assure Herman

!$a! $e was soli"# ,eo%le $ave !o be %laces# I we nee" <am% Hill or res$- unruly ci!i.ens !$en !$e

inma!es alrea"y !$ere $ave !o be somew$ere else#5

4ou got it 85 Herman !urne" !o Aewis aulkner an" s$ook $is $an"# Teac$ !$em !$e ro%es-5 $e

sai" abou! Ma!! an" Elwyn# Ill be back a! nine!een $un"re" $ours !o %ick !$em u%#5 Herman $ea"e"

back !o !$e c$o%%er an" lew away#

le!c$er- +iv- ?ancy an" E""ie were $ea"in& eas! !ravelin& !$rou&$ -uerto &umarebo w$en

+ivian broke a silence# le!c$er45 /$e was "rivin&# I $ave !$a! eelin& a&ain# 7ou know $ow I el!

w$en we le! /an rancisco a ew mon!$s a&o45

7es# ;e were &onna &o !o ,or!lan" !$en !o <$ina### bu! we woun" u% &oin& !o Euro isney#5

T$ere was no nee" or *ues!ions# le!c$ sai"- Turn aroun" or s!o%#5

Im &oin& !o call inne&an# I !$ink $es s!ill in 'ruba#5 +ivian %ulle" over !o !$e si"e o !$e roa"

an" calle"# 7inn4 ,ick us u%# I!s &oin& "own# 'omething,s going down#5

Aewis aulkner %ulle" ou! a ew black ol"in& c$airs an" oere" Ma!! an" Elwyn a %lace !o si!#o you know w$a! !$e irs! casual!y o war is45

;omen4 <$il"ren45 Ma!! answere"#

The truth85 Aewis $el" a !$ick bin"er wi!$ a EM' lo&o on i!# He o%ene" i! an" looke" over !$e

irs! %a&e# T$omas Jeerson an" Jo$n '"ams bo!$ "ie" on July D- 1L2G### fifty years to the day after the

delivery of the eclaration of /ndependence# <oinci"ence4 I youre s!u%i"- you" believe so8 Jo$n

'"ams com%laine" in a le!!er- 64ou physicians are growing so familiar with hemlock# arsenic# and mercury

sublimate and laudanum and brandy and everything that used to frighten me that / know not what you will

do with us# He "ie" in Massac$use!!s an" Jeerson "ie" in +ir&inia# ' mon!$ la!er- Jo$n Ran"ol wro!e-

6 And so old ister Adams is dead# on 7ourth of =uly# too# just a half century after our eclaration of

/ndependence# and leaving his son on the thrown. This is euthanasia# indeed. They have killed ister

=efferson# too# on the same day but / don,t believe it # Have you wa!c$e" Mon!y ,y!$ons 6ife of +rian-

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs45

7es#5 Ma!! be&an !o s!u!!er- 4$y$ye$y$ye$yesss# Ive wa!c$e" i! many !imes# $o$over an"

over#5

o you remember w$en +rian is $an&in& on !$e cross an" !$e bi&nose" &al comes by4 /$e says

some!$in& !o $im85 Aewis s$u! !$e bin"er an" se! i! on !$e loor#

/$e !$anks $im or bein& a martyr ### bu! you an" I know !$a! $e was %u! u% !o crucii9ion by

acci"en!- am I ri&$!45 Ma!!s ri&$! oo! nervously !$u""e" !$e &roun"#

Aewis observe" Elwyn an" was %lease" !$a! $e sa! calm like a rock# I !$ink Jeerson an" '"ams

were "one un"er by !$eir %$ysicians# Bo!$ men were ol"# I! was symbolic# Human na!ure "oesn! c$an&e

a w$ole lo! over !ime# <onra" Murray is =aile" or !$e "ea!$ o Mic$ael Jackson an" were !o believe !$a!

i!s some!$in& we only e9%erience in mo"ern !imes# T$e :// Maine is sunk near Havana an" i! s!ar!s !$e

/%anis$ 'merican ;ar# 6 3emember the aine: To hell with 'pain is w$a! everyone was s$ou!in& an"



s%rea"in& aroun"# ;as i! a alse la& even!4 T$e s$i% %robably $i! a <uban mine an" !$ey knew 'pain

woul" be blame"# 'n e9cuse or war4 <ra%8 I even !$ink I $ear" someone recen!ly say i! was ne&li&en!

s!ora&e o our own ammo in !$a! ri&&in boa!8 ;$ose aul! is i! a! !$e en" o !$e "ay45

/ir4 7ou kee% askin& *ues!ions an" I "on! $ave !ime !o answer-5 Ma!! claime"#

T$e truth is !$e irs! casual!y o war8 T$a!s w$a! I wan! you !o remember- $ere8 I!s a!!ribu!e" !o

a $is!orical (reek &uy- 'esc$ylus85 Aewis %oin!e" !o !$e bin"er a! $is ee!# I!s in !$ere somew$ere8 'n"

la!er aroun" ;orl" ;ar I- <aliornia sena!or Hiram Jo$nson sai" i! a&ain8 @uess w$en that &uy "ie"45

Aewis wai!e" or an answer !$is !ime#

The 7ourth of =uly45 Ma!! looke" over a! Elwyn# 're you ollowin& !$is45 Elwyn s$ook $is

$ea" no5 !$en %u! on a locke" s!one ace a&ain#

He "ie" on !$e "ay !$a! !$e :/ "ro%%e" an a!omic bomb on Hiros$ima85 Aewis $an"e" !$e

EM' bin"er !o Ma!!# o you !$ink !$ese !$in&s are coinci"ences4 r "o you believe !$a! %eo%le like

you an" me e9is!45

Oh85 ' li&$! bulb li! u% in Ma!!s min"# I &e! i!8 ;ere !$e %$ysicians an" we &ive nine elevena""i!ional meanin& ne9! week85 He li%%e" !$rou&$ %a&es an" !rie" !o in&es! !$e &eneral con!en!# ;ow8 I

eel like were makin& %lans rom !$e "all of oom#5

+ivian looke" "own a! !$e cour!yar" in ron! o 3ossum achinery /nternational $ea"*uar!ers as

!$eir $elico%!er "escen"e"# T$ere were !en '$22@ uni!s si!ua!e" in a %yrami" orm wi!$ one an"roi" in

ron!- !wo in !$e secon" row- !$ree in !$e !$ir"- an" our in !$e our!$# T$ey were wearin& business sui!s

an" !$ey were movin& abou!# ;$en !$e &"$!B lan"e"- s$e &o! ou! an" reali.e" w$a! was &oin& on# T$ey

were %erormin& !$e Mic$ael Jackson Thriller "ance in %erec! sync$ronici!y# E""ie- ?ancy an" le!c$

were s!ill in !$e $elico%!er "iscussin& some issue an" !$ey "i"n! no!ice !$e s%ec!acle# +ivian lis!ene" or

music bu! !$ere wasn! any s!ereo s%eakers visible an" !$ere weren! any soun"s e9ce%! or &awks o &ulls

an" c$ir%s o various small bir"s# 'lvin was in ron! an" le! !$e &rou%# In secon"s- !$e o!$ers "isban"e"

an" $ea"e" insi"e# 'lvin sai"- I!s &rea! !o see you8 'n"roi"s $ave nee" or recrea!ion- believe i! or no!85

T$a! was a an!as!ic "ance85 +ivian remarke"# /$e !urne" aroun" an" saw !$a! le!c$er was

be$in" $er# i" you see !$a!45

/ee w$a!45 le!c$ aske"# ;e were !alkin& abou! $ea"in& !o !$e Me"i!erranean# ;oul" you like

!o $ea" !o <y%rus45

I "on! know# I wan! !o !ake a cou%le o $ours !o res! my min"#5 +ivian walke" back !o !$e

$elico%!er# 're you &uys &e!!in& ou!45 /$e cau&$! E""ie an" ?ancy in a roman!ic momen!#

@e!!in& ou!4 ;ere !$inkin& abou! &oin& !o lori"a# I want !o &o !o !$e Me"i!erranean### bu! I

"on! like !$e cons!an! in!erru%!ions we kee% $avin&# ?ancy wan!s !o see !$e $ouse w$ere Je Bus$ was

swallowe" in $is room by a reak sink$ole#5

Ill be insi"e- &uys# I wan! !o lay "own an" we can "eci"e some!$in& by sun"own#5 +ivian

walke" !owar" !$e buil"in&#

"oney4 Im &oin& !o rela9 !oo### bu! Im $ea"in& !o !$e beac$- okay45 le!c$er wa!c$e" +ivian



raise $er $an" u% in acknowle"&men! bu! s$e "i"n! !urn aroun" as s$e walke" !$rou&$ RMIs "ouble

"oors# le!c$ walke" !owar" !$e s$ore wi!$ou! askin& E""ie an" ?ancy i !$ey were &oin& !o =oin#

's soon as !$e "oors close" be$in" +iv- s$e $a" a su""en an" une9%ec!e" a"renaline rus$# /$e

"i"n! eel like res!in&# /$e $ea"e" "owns!airs an" wan!e" !o ool aroun" wi!$ $er yellow e9oskele!on sui!#

/$e reac$e" !$e irs! un"er&roun" loor an" "i"n! say any!$in& !o !$e en&ineers assemblin& more /202G

robo!s# /$e $urrie" alon& an" &o! "own !o !$e secon" un"er&roun" loor# /$e was s!o%%e" by Eu&ene# He

!ol" $er- +ivian4 I !$ink i!s !ime you know#5

;$a! is i!- Eu&ene45 'll o !$e "roi"s looke" like 'ha%bot !o +iv# T$e only reason s$e knew

w$o s$e was !alkin& !o was because o !$e lab coa! wi!$ a &ol"en name %lacar" %inne" !o i!# I wan! &o

"owns!airs an" clear my min"# Im eelin& really an9ious- la!ely# I wan! !o &e! !o my sui!#5

7oull wan! !o see !$is# I!ll $el%- Im sure#5 Eu&ene !urne" !o a $uman biolo&is!# <an you &ive

us some %rivacy45 T$e biolo&is! le!# Eu&ene walke" !o a small ca&e wi!$ a "o.en w$i!e mice# /%lin!er4

<ome orwar"#5

T$e ro"en!s were $u""le" in !$e ar corner# ne mouse walke" away rom !$e %ack# 7es sir45!$e mouse aske"# ;$a! can I "o or you45

Eu&ene %icke" /%lin!er u%# ;e name" !$em a!er movie c$arac!ers# 7ou alrea"y know rom

your sui!s name !$a! were ans o !$e 1inja Turtles#5 He $el" /%lin!er wi!$ $is %alm o%en# +ivian4 I"

like you !o mee! 'plinter #5 He $an"e" !$e mouse !o +iv#

"oly mackerel 85 +ivians eyes o%ene" wi"e# 'm I seein& !$is45 /$e %e!!e" /%lin!er wi!$ $er

orein&er# /%lin!er4 're you like a %arro!4 Have you =us! memori.e" cer!ain wor"s4 <an you

un"ers!an" me4 <an you $ave a conversa!ion45

;e know you- +ivian#5 /%lin!er crawle" !o !$e !i% o +ivians $an" an" s!ar!e" !o s*ueak !o !$e

&rou%# ;eve $a" lan&ua&e all alon&# ;e "i"n! $ave so%$is!ica!e" !on&ue muscles# Bioen&ineerin& $as

%rovi"e" us wi!$ !$e !ools !o s%eak wi!$ your kin"#5

7ou know me4 How "o you know me45 +ivian se! /%lin!er "own on !$e !able =us! ou!si"e o !$e

ca&e#

;e s!u"y# ;e rea"# ;e $ave "ieren! *uar!ers on !$e u%%er level o !$is buil"in&# I! serves as a

colle&e or us# o you remember w$en you an" le!c$er were &iven a mouse a ew mon!$s a&o4 I! was

!raine" !o in" keys an" re!rieve !$em45 /%lin!ers w$iskers !wi!c$e"#

7es# ;e !ook !$e mouse a!er we $a" a c$im% name" 'andy#5 +iv aske" Eu&ene- ;$a!s &oin&

on45

+ivian4 ;e $ave s!u"ie" %o%ular cul!ure an" we $ave s!u"ie" mili!ary s!ra!e&y# ;e are useul# I

look orwar" !o workin& wi!$ you#5 /%lin!er walke" on!o Eu&enes e9!en"e" $an" an" was se! back in !$e

ca&e#

7ou reali.e !$a! we $ave a s$or!a&e o "rone %ilo!s- correc!4 T$ese mice are !$e answer# T$ey

serve a million %ur%oses# Think about the spying potential #5 Eu&ene o%ene" a miniri"&e an" %ulle" ou!

s!rin& c$eese# He %eele" i! a%ar! an" e" !$e &rou%# /%lin!ers bu""ies are ?emo- Hooc$- ,ac Man-



Bambi- ;innie- Jerry- /imba- Ran&o- rca- ;ile E an" Aassie#5

(lad to meet you85 +ivian smile"#

;e love you- +ivian85 one o !$em sai"# ' ew o !$em re%ea!e"- We love you85

Ill see you la!er85 +ivian !ol" Eu&ene- Im &oin& !o $ea" "owns!airs !o rela9# T$ank you or

in!ro"ucin& me !o your %als85

Ill !alk !o you la!er- +iv85 Eu&ene %u! a minia!ure soccer ball in!o !$e ca&e an" wa!c$e" +iv

leave#

Aewis aulkner "rove a !ra"i!ional army =ee% alon& Toms!own Roa"# He lec!ure" Ma!!- T$is $as

&o! !o be !i&$!# 7ou lie !o me or any su%erior oicer- youre likely !o &e! !$rown in wi!$ !$e res! o !$e

s$ee%# 7ou mi&$! &e! &asse" in !$e same acili!y w$ere you ins!alle" urnaces an" %oison &as %i%es#5

I !ook !$em ou!- !oo# T$e Beec$ @rove %lace was "isman!le"# At least the deadly parts were#5

Ma!! wa!c$e" i&$!er =e!s ly above#

're you s!u%i"4 7ou $a" a %$o!o&ra%$er wi!$ you8 I! was "one or ,R8 's soon as you

remove" !$e %i%in&- i! was %u! back in8 Im no! !ryin& !o scare you- !$ou&$#5 Aewis c$ecke" $is rearviewan" saw Elwyns ro.en ace# He "oesn! !alk a w$ole lo!- "oes $e45

He !alks# He res%ec!s c$ain o comman"- I !$ink#5 Ma!! !urne" aroun"# 're you &e!!in& all

!$is4 Elwyn no""e" yes5#

Hones!y !o one ano!$er is a &rea! !$in&### an" i!s vi!al### bu! you mus! no! !ell !$e %ublic any!$in&

!$a! will com%romise our mission# 7ou un"ers!an"45 Aewis looke" in $is rearview a&ain bu! !$is !ime $e

was makin& sure !$a! avi" @rossmans =ee% was ollowin&# +alor8 o you un"ers!an"4 T$eres a !ime

w$en loyal!y an" valor mus! su%erce"e $ones!y### a! leas! !o !$e %ublic85 Aewis "i"n! &e! a res%onse# <an

you $ear me4 Is !$e win" !oo muc$45

I $ear you85 Ma!! el! nervous# He !$ou&$! $e woul" be e9ci!e" abou! !$is kin" o work# He was

s!ar!in& !o eel sym%a!$y or or"inary %eo%le#

's ar as Im concerne"- !$e see"s o our %roblem s!ar!e" in BB2# Hillary <lin!on sai" !$a! Bill

was !$rea!ene" by someone in !$e Bus$ ;$i!e House no! !o run or oice# The vast 3ight Wing

&onspiracy you,ve heard of # I! "i"n! en" wi!$ Bill- !$ou&$# Ross ,ero! was also !$rea!ene" !$a! year#5

Aewis c$eris$e" ri"es in !o%less =ee%s# I! was $o! ou!si"e bu! !$e win" coole" $is ace# /ome mys!erious

Re%ublicans were &onna %os! nake" %ic!ures o ,ero!s "au&$!er or some!$in&# T$en4 urin& !$e <lin!on

years- en /!arr was le! loose like a wil" bloo"$oun"# ?obo"y believes i! was any!$in& bu! %oli!ical

re!alia!ion# T$e irs! real s$o! in !$is war- as ar as Im concerne"- is w$en !$ey !rie" !o im%eac$ Bill or

%er=ury# I $a%%en !o know !$a! ri&$!win&ers weren! only !ar&e!in& !$e %resi"en!# T$ey wen! a!er $is

en!ire su%%or! sys!em# /ome sol" ou! an" o!$ers were crus$e"#5

Timo!$y Mc+ei&$ was e9ecu!e" in my $ome !own- Terre Hau!e# T$e %lace w$ere !$ey w$acke"

$im is a %lace =us! like !$is# <ons%iracy !$eoris!s !ry !o &uess w$a! ins!i!u!ions woul" be use" as

concen!ra!ion cam%s w$en our &overnmen! inally cracks# T$a!s $ow I &o! my =ob a! Beec$ @rove# I $a"

a year o cons!ruc!ion e9%erience an" I was snoo%in& aroun"# I $ear" abou! a!rina# 7ou &uys in EM'



weren! really %re%are" or $el%in& ci!i.ens in !imes o na!ural "isas!er as muc$ as you were rea"y !o !ake

away &uns an" %u!!in& %eo%le "own# I wa!c$e" !$e &ran"mas yellin& abou! !$eir ri&$!s# I!s all over !$e

in!erne!#5 T$e =e!s !$a! $a" been over$ea" were lon& &one bu! !$ey le! w$i!e !rails# Ma!! wan!e" !o ask

abou! c$em!rails bu! o%!e" or silence#

Im in !$is =ob because "isas!ers $a%%en# Im no! in i! or !$e %oli!ics### bu! a lo! o %eo%le are#5

Aewis ma"e $is way on!o Ri"&e Roa"# 7oure %robably a an o Me!allica4 6'o be it... threaten no

more... to secure peace is to prepare for war ### T$e irs! s!e% o !$e mess were in was !yin& <lin!ons

$an"s# @ore "is!ance" $imsel rom $im an" Re%ublicans &aine" momen!um# ,?'< was release"- !$e

Towers came "own- !$en everyones liber!ies were s!ran&le"#5 Aewis aulkner knew !$e =ee% "i"n! $ave a

ra"io bu! looke" a! !$e s%o! w$ere one woul" be# He wan!e" !o blas! some $eavy me!al#

on! Trea" n Me45 Ma!! rubbe" $is c$in# I use" !o be a an o Me!allica# T$ey s!ar!e"

c$ewin& ou! !$eir ans- !$ou&$### an" I "on! !$ink !$a! was a &oo" i"ea#5

're you ol" enou&$ !o remember !$e <$evy <$ase /$ow on o94 I! was a sla% in !$e ace !o

'rsenio# Ru%er! Mur"oc$- owner o ?ews <or% an" o9- was a bi& @, "onor# 'rsenio an" MT+ ma"ecan"i"a!e <lin!on look hip in 1FF2# Remember $im %layin& !$e sa9o%$one45 Aewis %ulle" on !o /!oney

Aane#

I remember# I was a ki"- bu! I remember# 'rsenio el! insul!e" or bein& %asse" u%# <$evy

<$ase only las!e" a ew weeks#5 Ma!! looke" a$ea"# T$ere was a "ea" en"#

3epublicans get even in different ways than emocrats. They have enough money to do stranger

stuff #5 Aewis s!o%%e" !$e =ee% an" %oin!e" u%war"# Here $e is#5

Arsenio45 Ma!! aske"#

?o# Herman# Hes back#5 ' black $elico%!er came "own# 'resenios &onna $ave a s$ow !$a!

s!ar!s ne9! week bu! "on! you !$ink i!s a "ollar s$or! an" a "ay la!e45 Aewis aske"# T$e black $elico%!er

lan"e"# T$e si"e "oor o%ene"# Ta"- Ramon an" Bren! were !$e irs! ones ou!# 7our su%%or! !eam $as

arrive"#5 Herman &o! ou! be$in" !$e !$ree youn&s!ers# Aewis- Ma!! an" Elwyn &o! ou! o !$eir =ee%# avi"

@rossman an" /er&i :rnov s!o%%e" be$in" !$em an" wen! !owar" !$e 5"$@# avi" an" /er&i &o! in!o !$e

c$o%%er an" lew away#

I! was %recisely nine!een $un"re" $ours as Herman $a" re%or!e" $is re!urn woul" be# By way o

"ece%!ion- !$ou s$al! "o war85 He walke" u% !o Ma!! an" s*uee.e" $is $an" !i&$!ly in a $an" s$ake# ;$a!

am I !alkin& abou!- Ma!!$ew45

,roverbs#5 Ma!! rubbe" $is ri&$! $an" wi!$ $is le! a!er Herman release" i!# Mossa"# ?o

secre! !$a! i! was !$eir mo!!o# T$ey $ave since c$an&e" i! !o 6;$ere !$ere is no &ui"ance- a na!ion alls- bu!

in an abun"ance o counselors !$ere is sae!y### ano!$er ,roverb#5

(ood. (ood #5 Herman Eic$elber&er s$ook Aewis aulkners $an"# 7ou $ave %re%%e" $im85

He aske" Ma!!- ;$a! "oes ossad mean in Hebrew45

The /nstitute# T$ey ori&ina!e" in ecember o 1FDF# T$ey $ave been im%lica!e" in "ea"ly cover!

ac!ivi!ies in 'r&en!ina- ?orway- rance- Bel&ium- Ira*- @reece- I!aly an" o!$er coun!ries# T$e Ma"ri" !rain



bombin&s in 200D were !$ou&$! !o be a Mossa" o%era!ion#5 Ma!! $i&$ ive" Ta"- Ramon an" Bren!# @la"

you &uys coul" make i!85 Hermans &a.e on Ma!! was locke"# Ive been briee" an" I am rea"y or !$e

ne9! %$ase-5 Ma!!$ew /!ubbs assure" Herman Eic$elber&er#

're you amiliar wi!$ !$e -hoeni* 6ights45 Herman backe" o a cou%le o s!e%s an" a""resse"

!$e &rou%# In 1FFC- more !$an !en !$ousan" resi"en!s o ,$oeni9- 'ri.ona collec!ively wi!nesse" a s!ran&e

%$enomenon# 'even huge lights drifted from 6uke Air 7orce +ase and slowly headed south# ;ere !$e

cra!s "riven by s%ace aliens rom a "is!an! &ala9y4 ?o8 I! was a social e9%erimen!# How woul" lar&e

masses o %eo%le res%on" !o &overnmen! lies an" "enial4 T$a!s w$a! we wan!e" !o know8 rances

Barwoo" was !$e lone council member !o %ublicly *ues!ion !$e si&$!in&# Res%ec!e" communi!y members

came orwar"# -olice# fire fighters# construction workers# T$ey were !rea!e" like nu! =obs8 @overnor ie

/ymin&!on $el" a mock %ress conerence in w$ic$ $e was !o reveal !$e real reason be$in" !$e -hoeni*

6ights# o you know w$a! i! was4 ' s%ace alien85 Herman lau&$e" an" el! embarrasse" !$a! $e los! $is

%roessional %oise# ' &uy in an alien cos!ume walks u% !$e aisle an" cameras are las$in& an" !$e me"ias

!$ere85 Herman sla%%e" $is le&# A space alien85;$a!s your %oin!45 Aewis aulkner aske"# ;i!$ all "o res%ec!- were losin& all "ayli&$!#5

T$is social e9%erimen! s$owe" us on a small scale w$a! woul" $a%%en in ?ew 7ork <i!y w$en

!$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er was $i!# 7ou "on! !$ink %eo%le knew even then !$a! i! woul" $a%%en4 7ou !$ink

!$ose &ooballs %acke" u% !$eir ba&s an" le! a!er !$e oile" BB< e9%losion in !$e %arkin& s!ruc!ure45

Herman rubbe" $is ace an" became serious a&ain# 7ou saw !$e $ole a million !imes in /$anksville# 7ou

saw no wrecka&e# ;e- as a &overnmen!- learne" !$a! %eo%le scurry in!o !$eir mouse $oles# T$ey s%li! like

cockroac$es# /omew$ere ou! !$ere- ,enn raser Jille!!e is s$amin& olks or even considering !$a! nine

eleven mi&$!ve been an insi"e =ob o !$e :/ &overnmen!# /omew$ere on T+- /ean Hanni!y is ran!in&

abou! Bus$s %$ony s$!ick an" &e!!in& %ai" bi& money !o "o i!8 o you know w$a! -enn sai" we s$oul" "o

!o !$e Tru!$ers45

-enn4 're we !alkin& abou! !$e ma&ician4 ,enn an" Teller4 T$a! one45 Ma!! aske"#

,enn sai" Tru!$ers s$oul" be %us$e" "own s!airwells8 Ha85 Herman lau&$e" some more# 7es-

Ma!!# ,enn !$e +e&as ma&ician#5 He com%ose" $imsel a&ain# I wis$ ,enn coul" be $ere wi!$ us# I wis$

$e coul" see !$e "e!en!ion cen!ers# I wis$ $e coul" know !$e !$in&s !$a! I know#5

Maybe $e "oes-5 Aewis sai"# Maybe $es =us! a scare" &uy# T$is is 6reaction formation in

%syc$olo&y i $es ac!ually yellin& abou! o%%osi!e !$in&s !$an w$a! $e believes# He $as a &oo" &i& &oin&#

;$y =eo%ar"i.e i! by ali&nin& wi!$ !$e rin&e %ro!es!ers45

oesn! ma!!er# ;ere losin& li&$!# Ae!s &e! !o !$e !en!#5 Herman wen! !o !$e =ee% !$a! avi"

an" /er&i $a" le! be$in"# Ta"- Ramon an" Bren! ollowe" an" =um%e" in# T$ey $ea"e" ou!#

;$ile !$ey were in 'n&uilla- le!c$er an" +iv s%en! !$eir beac$ !ime alon& 'un!ie ol Bay an"

Aon& ,on" Bay in !$e sou!$ eas!ern %ar! o !$e islan"# Mos! o !$e $o!els an" s$o%s were on !$e wes!ern or

nor!$ern en"s# 'n&uilla was no mons!er islan"- an" unlike Hun!in&!on in <aliornia- !$e coas!line w$ere

le!c$ an" +iv s%en! mos! o !$eir !ime was "evoi" o $omes or any o!$er s!ruc!ure# RMI $ea"*uar!ers was



a $al mile rom !$e beac$ alon& !$e Aon& ,a!$5- also known as 'lber! Aake rive# In be!ween Aon&

,on" Bay an" !$e Aon& ,a!$ was an ac!ual la&oon calle" Aon& ,on"5# n !$e wes!ern en"- !$ere were

nice resi"en!ial $omes an" a cou%le o !$em were or ren!# I! was /un"ay an" %resi"en! bama was se! !o

a""ress !$e worl" abou! w$a! ac!ion !$e :/ woul" !ake in re&ar"s !o !$e /yrian conlic! in !wo "ays# +iv

an" le!c$ were ins%ec!in& a !wos!ory $ome "ubbe" ;$i!e <e"ars +illa5 wi!$ a real es!a!e a&en!# T$ere

was no "irec! access !o !$e ocean bu! !$e lo! $a" a nice swimmin& %ool# I !$ink we coul" s!ay $ere or a

year- le!c$er# I eel sae $ere# I $aven! el! be!!er abou! lie in a lon& !ime#5

I am kin" o !ire" o ren!in& cars in every o!$er !own an" c$eckin& in!o a new $o!el every ew

"ays#5 le!c$ looke" aroun"# T$e %lace was bi&# ?ancy an" E""ie were ou! on a boa! somew$ere# o

you !$ink !$is %lace is bi& enou&$ or our o us45

E""ie an" ?ancy45 +ivian ma"e $er way in!o !$e ki!c$en# I !$ink we coul" be $a%%y !o&e!$er

or a cou%le o mon!$s# I "on! !$ink !$ey" wan! !o s!ay a ull year# T$ey !ook o w$en we were in

Havasu- remember4 I !$ink i!" be &oo" or all o us# ;$en !$ey "eci"e !o !ry ano!$er %lace- well $ave i!

all !o ourselves#5I really "on! like w$a!s &oin& on in !$e worl"# /yrian resi"en!s are ormin& $uman s$iel"s

a&ains! :/ !ar&e!s in amascus# Rebel orces $ave claime" res%onsibili!y or !$e c$emical a!!acks knowin&

!$e :ni!e" /!a!es woul" in!ervene an" some$ow- /au"i 'rabia is bein& men!ione" in !$e mi9#5 le!c$er

looke" ou! !$rou&$ !$e win"ow# T$e %ool was clean# I coul" use a break#5

;$a! were we "oin& !$a! w$ole !ime45 +ivian aske"# /$e wan!e" !o cu""le on !$e couc$ bu! s$e

el! &uil!y as well# ne "ay- were &oin& !o wake u% an" say- 6They were going to blow each other up with

or without you: 4ou should,ve spent your entire time in the &aribbean85

le!c$er !urne" !owar" +iv an" kisse" $er ore$ea"# Im s!ar!in& !o see !$e li&$!# My &u!-

!$ou&$# My &u! kee%s e9cre!in& all !$is bile w$en I !$ink I s$oul" =us! ri"e i! ou! in a %ara"ise like !$is#5

He kisse" +ivs ore$ea" a&ain# My brain is on !$e same %a&e as you# ;$a! can I "o abou! my &u!45

+ivian wan!e" !o =oke bu! was a! a loss or wor"s# ;ell s!ay $ere un!il T$anks&ivin&- le!c$er8

;ell oer one o !$e be"rooms !o E""ie an" ?ancy# ;ell ea! a nice !urkey "inner $ere### or Tofurky8 I

"on! really care8 is$4 7ou wan! !o ea! is$ or T$anks&ivin&4 I "on! care8 I wan! !o be $ere### !$en we

coul" "eci"e our ne9! move#5

Tourky4 I! soun"s soooooo &oo"#5 le!c$er &i&&le" an" el! like a !eena&er# is$4 Remember

we were ea!in& !$a! wa$oo near Barba"os4 6 /t,s okay eat fish Jcause they don,t have any feelings8 ;$o

s!ar!e" sin&in& ?irvana4 I! was unny# Maybe i! was !$e beer#5

+ivians i,$one "in&e"# The ice caps are melting -5 s$e !ol" le!c$# /$e s$owe" $im !$e !e9!

messa&e# I!s rom 'lvin#5

;$a! is !$is4 ' co"e4 He was &oin& !o !ell us 6 1ibiru is imminent i ;orl" ;ar III was

breakin& ou!# <oul" !$is mean !$a! %eace $as been se!!le"45 le!c$er looke" ou! !owar" !$e %ool a&ain#

T$ere was a $elico%!er $overin& above i!# T$e si"e "oor o%ene" an" a la""er rolle" "own# I &uess were

no! s%en"in& T$anks&ivin& $ere- $un# Im !$inkin& !$eyre !akin& us somew$ere ar away#5



+ivian walke" ou! o !$e villa !$rou&$ !$e sli"in& back "oor# le!c$er *uickly e9%laine" !o !$e real

es!a!e a&en! !$a! !$ere woul" be no "eal !$en $e =o&&e" !o ca!c$ u% !o $is lie %ar!ner# T$ey climbe" u% !$e

la""er !$en le!c$ aske" inne&an- T$e ice ca%s are mel!in&4 ;$a! is !$is4 /ome kin" o co"e"

messa&e45

?o sir# ;e lis!en in on your conversa!ions- remember4 ;e un"ers!an" your rus!ra!ion wi!$ !$e

im%en"in& war# ;e %rocesse" some o !$e variables an" consi"ere" allowin& you !o was!e your !ime on

!$is !iny isle### bu! ins!ea"- were &oin& !o !ake you !o !$e ?or!$ ,ole# 7ou woul" like !$a!- no4 ?'/'

%$o!os $ave s$own !$a! arc!ic ice is less !$an $al o w$a! i! use" !o be in BC# I! is s$rinkin& a! aroun"

i!een %ercen! ra!e every "eca"e# ne come"ian sai" !$a! !$e ?or!$ ,ole $as become !$e 1orth -ool # I am

no! %ro&ramme" or absolu!e $uman $umor- bu! I can c$uckle a! !$a! one# I we were in a %ublic res!auran!-

I woul" know !o lau&$ a! !$a! =oke because I know i! is unny# T$ere is li!erally a %ool o wa!er u% !$ere

ma"e rom mel!e" ice8 ne woul" !$ink i!s ocean wa!er !$a!s see%e" in bu! i!s no! sal!y# Hilarious8 T$en

we can !ravel !o /wi!.erlan"s 'le!sc$ &lacier8 T$a!s w$ere $un"re"s o nu"is!s orme" a 6livin&

scul%!ure !o raise awareness abou! our warmin& %lane!8 T$ese ac!ivi!ies woul" !ake your min" o !$e be&innin& o ;orl" ;ar III- woul" !$ey no!45

;e wan!e" !$is w$en we were !eena&ers- +iv85 le!c$ was e9ci!e"# I say we &o8 Have we ever

s!aye" !o&e!$er in ?orway45

kay- okay#5 +ivian was reluc!an!# I wan! !o $i! ount ?ilimanjaro w$en i!s all over- alri&$!4

;e kee% !alkin& abou! $ikin& Everes! an" I know i!s =us! not &oin& !o $a%%en### bu! we can "o iliman=aro#

T$eres a na!ional %ark more !$an nine!een !$ousan" ee! above sea level#5

T$e co%!er lew !o <a%e <anaveral w$ere !$ey boar"e" a &oncorde an" =e!!e" !owar" Meirin&en

'ir Base in /wi!.erlan"# inne&an $an"e" +iv a col" &lass o <oca <ola# T$ese su%er sonic =e!s s!o%%e"

runnin& or !$e %ublic in 2<# I!s !oo ba"# I !$ink many %eo%le are missin& ou! on a &oo" ri"e#5 He

$an"e" $er a urry- w$i!e ca% wi!$ a re" s!ar in !$e ron! on !$e ore$ea"# +ivian %u! i! on wi!$ou! *ues!ion#

inne&an $an"e" $er a s!ack o abou! a $un"re" unboun" %a&es# T$a! is a Russian us$anka# T$e la%s on

!$e si"e kee% !$e ears warm "urin& ro.en win!ers# In your $an" is a scri%!# Have you c$ecke" your

?e!li9 ca!e&ories4 orei&n "ramas4 In"e%en"en! movies4 7ou will $ave !$e c$ance !o ac! in one o !$ese

movies#5 inne&an reac$e" in!o a "ule ba& an" %ulle" ou! a $ockey =ersey# He $an"e" i! !o le!c$#

;ear !$is#5 He $an"e" le!c$er a $un"re" %a&es o scri%!# 7ou will $el% +ivian re$earse lines#5

'm I &oin& !o be in !$e movie4 'm I =us! $el%in& $er become a s!ar45 le!c$er sli%%e" !$e re"

=ersey on over $is s!ri%e" kni! s$ir!# 'cross !$e c$es! i! rea" &&&- 5 in w$i!e block#

inne&an "ro%%e" ice cubes in!o a &lass an" %oure" so"a or le!c$# /!ar4 T$ere are many

reasons or an ac!or !o c$oose a %ar! or a movie# /ome "o i! sim%ly !o %ay !$e bills# /ome "o i! !o &e! lai"#

/ome %eo%le are "rawn in by vani!y an" !$ey love !o see %ic!ures o !$emselves s!arin& back a! !$em rom

&ian! Hollywoo" billboar" si&ns# /ome wan! !$e nice $ome in Beverly Hills# /!ar4 T$is is no! abou!

makin& +ivian in!o a star # T$is is !o $el% bo!$ o you cope wi!$ your si!ua!ion# T$is is a ca!$ar!ic even!

une*ual !o any!$in& youve e9%erience" so ar# 7ou will be be!!er o#5 inne&an $an"e" le!c$ a $ockey



s!ick# Hol" !$is# @e! in !o c$arac!er# 7oure &oin& !o be ea!ure" in !$e movie as well#5

le!c$er was %arc$e" an" !$anke" inn or !$e "rink# ;$a!s !$e scri%! abou!45

:nlike !$e !ra"i!ional airlines +iv an" le!c$ $a" been ri"in& aroun" in- !$e &oncorde $a" a

sea!in& layou! con"ucive or ace!oace in!erac!ion# inne&an sa! across rom +iv an" le!c$er# irs! o

all- le!s !alk abou! !$e orces a! work# bama coul"n! make u% $is own min" i $e wan!e" !o# 's a

sena!or- $e was o%%ose" !o !$e way @eor&e ; Bus$ $an"le" Ira*# Remember w$en 'rnol"

/c$war.ene&&er cam%ai&ne" !o be &overnor o <aliornia an" $e sai" $e was &oin& !o o%en u% !$e books

or everyone !o see4 He wasn! &oin& !o !ake a salary4 ;$a! $a%%ene"4 7ears o inancial "ea"lock# He

!ook a salary# ?o one knew w$a! was in !$e books an" $ow !$e &overnmen! reac$e" !$e %oin! o economic

mel!"own# /ena!or bama was a similar i"ealis!### bu! we see $im in !$e s$oes o $is %re"ecessor- an" !oo

many %eo%le believe !$eyre be$avin& !$e same way#5

kay# inne&an4 ;e &e! i!# ;eve !alke" abou! !$ese issues or many years# Me an" +iv

know###5 le!c$er s!o%%e" $is clariica!ion# ?ever min"# @o on# ;$a!s !$e &is! o !$e s!ory45

;ell- !$e <R %u!s enormous %ressure on bama !o s!ar! an un%o%ular war# T$e <I' $as in!el!$a! rebel i&$!ers linke" wi!$ !$e /au"is &asse" !$eir own %eo%le# T$e year is 2020- !$e "ollar $a"

colla%se" lon& a&o- an" or !$e secon" !ime !$is millennium- !$e :ni!e" /!a!es is in a war base" o

a!rociously alse inorma!ion# al'ssa" woul"n! $ave %asse" as a sain! bu! i! !urns ou! $e was clearly

rame"# Iran $i!s Israel a!er !$e :/ invasion o /yria an" !$e worl" communi!y !urns on 'merica# T$e

uala Aum%ur ;ar <rimes <ommission o 200C is inally invoke" an" @eor&e ; Bus$ is %icke" u% by :?

sol"iers in ambia an" $e is im%risone"# Barack bama %anics an" "eclares oicial mar!ial law#5 ;$en

/$a.bo! was aroun"- $e woul" "rink alco$olic bevera&es wi!$ +iv an" le!c$# inne&an "rank <oke# His

sys!em "i"n! re*uire i!# /202G uni!s were "esi&ne" !o kee% $umans a! ease# He si%%e" rom a &lass#

T$e EM' cam%s are inally u!ili.e"# 'merican ci!i.ens are kille" wi!$ sarin# T$e /ovie! :nion is

reorme"# Bra.il re%laces !$e :/' as a %ermanen! /ecuri!y <ouncil member#5

I like !$e i"ea# Im all %aranoi" abou! !$ese !$in&s !akin& orm in real lie# I can say wi!$ $ones!y

an" cer!ain!y !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es is a breakaway ascis! coun!ry# I "on! nee" !$is script # Bu! you know

some!$in&# I I say !$ese !$in&s in a mere 7ouTube "ocumen!ary- I coul" be !$e ne9! /now"en# T$eyll be

ou! !o kill me in !$e name o %eace# I I say i! in a orei&n ilm base" in !$e near u!ure### like !$e ren"i!ion

o 3ed awn- !$en I &e! i! o my c$es!# T$e monkey comes o my back#5 le!c$er no!ice" !$a! +ivian

was ac!ually rea"in& $er scri%!#

;$a! youll no!ice is !$a! Aenin&ra" is alive a&ain# 'o is 'talingrad # Im no! sure !$a! 'merica

%ro%erly "eal! wi!$ !$e allin& o !$e Eas!ern Bloc# I mean- !$ey =um%e" u% an" "own or =oy or a "eca"e

or so### bu! !$is %ro=ec! "eals wi!$ !$e inevi!able crum%lin& o !$e "ollar# I! aces no! =us! !$e break"own o

ol" communism bu! inser!s !$e $ar"core ailure o ca%i!alism# ;e will be ilmin& in =errin&Wy- also calle"

6!$e Hollywoo" o ?orway# I! will be "e%ic!e" in Russia an" be&ins w$en ci!i.ens rename 't -etersburg

6Aenin&ra" a&ain# His!ory re%ea!s i!sel- you see4 7ou !wo $ave "eec!e" rom ascis! 'merica !o in"

ree"om#5 inne&an reac$e" in!o a briecase an" %ulle" ou! a !$ir" co%y# I can rea" wi!$ you### i youre



in!eres!e"#5

How ironic8 I can! believe Im consi"erin& !$is85 le!c$er eu%$orically e9amine" !$e lines#

le!c$er45 +iv s!o%%e" rea"in& an" !urne" !o $er man- T$eres a book on my ni&$!s!an" in

a&mar# ,aul <rai& Rober!s wro!e 3ole 3eversal "ow the 5' +ecame the 5''3# T$a!s w$a! !$is is

base" o# Im almos! sure#5

?o maam-5 inne&an %oli!ely alle&e"# I mean- i! mi&$! be a coinci"ence# @rea! min"s !$ink

alike- !$ou&$# I! "oes no! !ake a &enius !o see !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es is be$avin& like !$e :nion o /ovie!

/ocialis! Re%ublics# /%eak ou! a&ains! !$e &overnmen!4 ;$a! $a%%ens4 /u%%ression# In %lace o /iberia-

!$e :/ $as (uantanamo +ay# ;$o runs !$e &i&4 'n oli&arc$y# T$e "ierence be!ween !$e :/ an" !$e

reborn ://R in !$is scri%! is !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es s!ill insis!s i! %rocures ree"om or i!s %eo%le# I!

%re!en"s i! res%on"s !o !$e people ins!ea" o some %erennial lobbyis! or obscure secre! socie!y#5

kay-5 +ivian sai"# I like !$e scri%!# I "on! care w$ere !$ey &o! !$eir i"ea rom# Maybe were

all seein& !$e same !$in&# Maybe ,aul <rai& Rober!s "i"n! enli&$!en !$e masses an" we all =us! reali.e"

!$ese !$in&s a! !$e same !ime#5 +iv %u! $er scri%! "own a! $er ee! an" !urne" !o le!c$ a&ain# T$e wor"sin !$a! manuscri%! rin& !rue !o me# I can see mysel sayin& !$a! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es is "ea"# I can feel !$e

c$arac!er# I look orwar" !o !ravelin& !o !$e remlin#5

I!s very ironic85 le!c$er li%%e" alon&# '%%aren!ly- !$e ://R $as learne" rom i!s mis!akes#

?o more slau&$!erin& millions o "issi"en!s on $orseback# T$eyre kee%in& a "ab o -erestroika an"

(lasnost an" !$eyre wa!c$in& !$e :/' "isin!e&ra!e on in!erne! an" T+ beore !$eyre eyes# My c$arac!er

&e!s !o lau&$ a! !$e buoons in 'merica w$ile you serve me 'mirnoff every ni&$!# I i! wasn! ic!ion- I"

eel ba" !$a! were lau&$in& a! !$e concen!ra!ion cam%s we were almos! in85 le!c$ %u! $is scri%! "own#

+iv4 I "on! see w$y we "on! "o !$is anyway# Im no! !alkin& abou! wa!c$in& in!erne! vi"eos every ni&$!

an" wi!nessin& !$e slow "ecay o !$e :ni!e" /!a!es# ;$y "on! we s!ay in ?orway or a w$ile4 r even

3ussia45 le!c$er looke" "own a! !$e le!!erin& on $is =ersey# I really like !$is# Ive never been in !o

$ockey bu! I be! I can &row !o like i!#5

;ell &ive i! a s$o!- le!c$#5 +ivian kisse" le!c$ w$ile !$ey lew over !$e '!lan!ic cean a!

aroun" ach Two !$en rubbe" $er nose across $is c$in# I wan! !o s!ay in ?orway an" I $o%e i! works

ou!#5 /$e %u! $er $an"s over !$e w$i!e urry la%s coverin& $er ears# o I look &oo" in !$is45

?ancy an" E""ie were is$in& in Ten! Bay o o !$e s$ore o "inky /aba Islan"# T$is was !$eir

irs! !ime on !$e sea !o&e!$er wi!$ou! an an"roi" c$a%eronin& !$em# T$ey ro"e aroun" in a sleek or!yoo!

7lybridge &ruiser # E""ie rea" rom $is i,$one- en /!arr is mas!urba!in& in a res!room !o a %ic!ure o

Monica Aewinski on !$e mornin& o nine eleven# /cene a"es !o 'merican 'irlines li&$! CC w$ere

,en!a&on numbers e9%er!- Bryan Jack- s!ra%s in or !ake o# Hes rea"in& !$e ;as$in&!on ,os! abou!

onal" Rumsel" re%or!in& !$e %revious "ay !$a! !wo %oin! !$ree !rillion "ollars are com%le!ely missin&

rom !$e "eense bu"&e!# Mys!erious vans- meanw$ile- are loa"in& a !rillion "ollars wor!$ o &ol" rom

Twin Towers vaul!s# In a < Ri!.<arl!on lu9ury sui!e- H; Bus$ is com%lainin& !o /$ai& bin Aa"en !$a!

!$e emocra!s raine" on $is %ara"e by elec!in& <lin!on# In lori"a- =unior Bus$ is =o&&in& somew$ere



w$en 'ri leisc$er receives a !e9! messa&e rom "i&o abou! im%en"in& lar&e scale a!!acks# T$e Towers

&o "own# ,an !o ick <$eney# He &ives s$oo!"own or"ers o "omes!ic aircra! bu! $e "oes no! warn !$e

,en!a&on !$a! =e!s are $ea"in& !$eir way# Bryan Jack- lyin& in $i=acke" ''CC- !$inks abou! !$e crab eas!

a! accoun!an! !eam lea"er Rober! Russells $ome !o celebra!e !$e en" o !$e iscal year# His Boein& CPC

was s$o! "own over !$e $ills o ;es! +ir&inia- !$ou&$- an" a cruise missile is sen! !o !$e ,en!a&on !o

com%le!e a alse la& a!!ack# T$e missile $i!s !$e oice w$ere Bryan Jack worke"# Every %erson !$a!

worke" on !$e bu"&e! wi!$ Rober! Russell comes u% missin& an" is %resume" "ea"#5

/oun"s like someones workin& on a movie we can believe# ;$ere" you &e! !$e scri%!45 ?ancy

"rank a Bar!les V James Tro%ical Man&o wine cooler#

+iv an" le!c$ are lyin& over !$e '.ores ri&$! now# T$eyll be in Euro%e or a w$ile#5 E""ie

%u! $is %$one away# Im =ealous# Im really =ealous#5

I! was si9 in !$e mornin& s$ar% w$en Ta"- Ramon an" Bren! were woken u% by a blarin& bu&le#

T$ey sle%! on co!s insi"e !$e !en! $ea"*uar!ers# Herman Eic$elber&er a%%roac$e" !$e boys an" !$ey s!oo"

a! a!!en!ion# ;$o can !ell me abou! $amisiya$45$amisiya$- Ira*8 ne $un"re" an" si9!y s!ock $ouses o c$emical wea%ons "es!roye" "urin&

!$e irs! (ulf War # T$ese wea%ons %rovi"e" by !$e :ni!e" /!a!es &overnmen! cover!ly !o !$e /a""am

Hussein re&ime "urin& !$eir war wi!$ Iran# T$ese sai" wea%ons "es!roye" ur"is$ rebels an" were use"

a&ains! Iran wi!$ !$e assis!ance o 'merican sa!elli!e in!elli&ence8 /ir85 Ramon salu!e"#

;ere all o !$ese c$emical wea%ons "es!roye"- Ramon4 i" some o !$em make !$eir way !o

/yria4 oes Bas$ar al'ssa" $ave some o !$e nerve &asses !$a! our &overnmen! %rovi"e" or Ira*4 o

!$e rebels in /yria $ave !$ese wea%ons4 ;e sure know !$ey weren! oun" in !$e secon" @ul ;ar85

Herman walke" !o Ma!!s co! an" s$ook $im# (et up8 To"ay- i!s !$e &enuine ar!icle85

I!s no! rocke! science- sir# /arin was su%%ose"ly ma"e by monas!ic $ermi!s rom Moun! u=i an"

!$ey =ol!e" $un"re"s o !ransien!s in a Ja%anese !rain s!a!ion in 1FFP# I! !akes luorine !o %ro"uce# ?a.is

"iscovere" i! acci"en!ally beore ;orl" ;ar II w$en !$ey were e9%erimen!in& wi!$ s!ron& %es!ici"es# T$e

sarin use" recen!ly a&ains! women an" c$il"ren in /yria "i"n! necessarily $ave !o come rom :/

s!ock%iles in Ira*# T$e vic!ims were believe" by many !o $ave been ki"na%%e" by !$e /' in Aa!akia#5

Ramon salu!e" a&ain# 'n" sa!elli!e ima&es can! !ell one war$ea" rom ano!$er#5

Herman sai"- I "on! care w$ere !$e s!u came rom# I "on! care w$ere i! wen!# I care abou!

luna!ics !akin& !o !$e s!ree!s wi!$ arms# ;ere &oin& !o &o ou! !$ere !o"ay an" were &oin& !o screw wi!$

some %ro!es!ers in ?ew 7ork <i!y# ;ere &oin& !o roun" some o 6em u% an" were &oin& !o s$ackle !$em

in :? mili!ary vans# ;ere &oin& !o brin& !$em $ere#5 Herman !$ou&$! someone mi&$! say some!$in&

sym%a!$e!ic# T$e &uys s!aye" in line# ;e wan! !o know w$o !$ey cry !o# Ten years a&o- i! was !y%ical !o

$ear some!$in& like- 6 /,m going to call my lawyer 8 ;$a! a =oke8 T$e ,a!rio! 'c! !urne" or"inary lawyers

in!o useless %ussies8 ,eo%le know be!!er now !o rely on lawyers an" <ons!i!u!ional law# Im an a"voca!e

o !$e <ons!i!u!ion bu! Im a &rea!er a"voca!e o kee%in& my =ob8 ;$o will !$e ki"s scream ou! !o now4

'l Kae"a4 Is !$a! real4 6 "ome grown terrorists an" all4 Russia4 @o"4 T$eir mo!$ers45



I !$ink !$is is overblown-5 Ta" sai"# ;i!$ all "ue res%ec!#5

/ome!$in& is $a%%enin& on c!ober irs! i any o our sources are correc!# I !ol" Ma!! !$a! !o"ays

!$e &enuine ar!icle### bu! i!s !$e &enuine ar!icle or sparring wi!$ !$e %ublic# T$is is our %reseason# Hea"s

coul" very well roll ne9! mon!$# Ae!s $o%e i! "oesn! $a%%en#5 Herman $ea"e" or $is =ee%# Ae!s &o i

ya wan! breakas!#5 T$ey a!e !$en lew in a black $elico%!er !o !$e Bi& '%%le# T$ey $a" o%era!ives !$ere

an" !$ey were %rovi"e" !wo w$i!e ullsi.e <$evy vans# Herman o%ene" !$e back "oors o one o !$em an"

looke" insi"e# I! was ull o %icke! si&ns an" banners# He aske" !$e &uys- ;ebs!er Tar%ley believes i!

!akes !$ree !y%es o %eo%le !o %ull o a &oo" alse la& mission# ;$o can !ell me w$a! !$ey are45

Ramon raise" $is $an"# ,a!sies- moles an" killers#5

(ood #5 Herman wen! !$rou&$ !$e si&ns# ne was yellow- abou! !en ee! wi"e- an" s!abili.e" a!

!$e !o% by a lon& woo"en ro"# In black le!!ers i! rea" Han"s /yria5# Herman $an"e" i! !o Ramon#

@uess w$ic$ one youre &oin& !o be !o"ay45

The mole# ;ere lookin& or %a!sies# ;ere lookin& or ci!i.ens wi!$ au!$en!ic ra&e !owar" !$e

&overnmen!# ;ere lookin& a! %eo%le !oo s!u%i" !o know $ow !o make a er!ili.er bomb bu! are an&ryenou&$ !o be cre"ible sca%e&oa!s#5 Ramon %oke" $is si&n in !$e "irec!ion o Bren! an" Ta"# T$ey woul"

marc$ be$in" i!# I! coul" i! ano!$er cou%le o %eo%le i nee" be#

Herman &rabbe" ano!$er si&n# I! was oran&e an" $a" ace s$o!s o ; Bus$ an" bama ne9! !o

one ano!$er# I!s ca%!ion rea" ;ar <rimes Mus! Be /!o%%e"5# Herman $an"e" i! !o Ma!!$ew /!ubbs# o

you like !$is one45 Ma!! !ook i! rom $im# Herman &rabbe" a small w$i!e si&n w$ic$ sim%ly rea"

;'Rmerica5# Elwyn4 o you like !o marc$4 I you "on! like i!- ya be!!er &e! use" !o i!85 Herman

$an"e" i! ou!# T$ere were o!$er a&en!s !$ere w$o $a" %rovi"e" !$e vans# T$ey rumma&e" !$rou&$ !$e

ma!erial an" &rabbe" si&ns o !$eir own# T$e %lan is !o &e! rien"ly wi!$ !$e crow"# T$ere are mul!i%le

reasons !o come !o an an!iwar %ro!es!# /ome &uys $ere really "on! care abou! !$e issues an" are =us!

!ryin& !o min&le wi!$ !$e la"ies# /ome %eo%le are e!$nic /yrians an" believe in !$eir cause w$ole$ear!e"ly#

T$ere are o!$er %eo%le w$o are sim%le anarc$is!s an" woul" %ro!es! anything !$e &overnmen! is "oin&#

T$ere are !$ose w$o woul" %ro!es! $ouse lies i !$a!s w$a! we were "oin& !o"ay#5 Herman "i"n! like

w$a! $e was in !$e mi""le o# ;e are a!er !$e %eo%le w$o will "o $arm !o our &overnmen!# T$a!s !$e

bo!!om line# Talk !o !$ese &uys abou! olotov cocktails an" see w$ere i! &oes# I !$ey brus$ you o- !$en

!$ey are &enuinely $ere or a %eaceul %ro!es!# I !$ey en&a&e you- !ake 6em "own !$e rabbi! $ole# /ee $ow

ar !$ey" &o in !$e $y%o!$e!ical worl"# Aea" !$em $ere !o !$is van# ;e will lock !$em u% an" re!urn !$em

!o or! In"ian!own @a%# ;ere &oin& !o $ave un wi!$ a nice social e9%erimen!#5

T$e &uys walke" alon& or!y/econ" /!ree! an" =oine" a &rou% o ac!ivis!s# T$ey c$an!e" slo&ans#

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs wore a re" ban"ana- ri%%e" Aevis- "ir!y <$uck Taylor <onverse sneakers- an" a w$i!e T

s$ir! w$ic$ rea" ;ar Is Mur"er5 in lar&e %rin! on !$e ron!# T$e back o $is s$ir! ea!ure" a blackan"

w$i!e a!omic mus$room clou"# Ma!! c$an!e" an" $e oun" a &ruy !eena&er wearin& a black Ts$ir!

ea!urin& !$e ace o .$ok$ar Tsarnaeve on !$e ron!# 1ice shirt 85 Ma!! !ol" $im# Is !$a! !$e %$o!o !$a!

3olling 'tone use" on i!s cover45



7es8 ;e mus! s!o% !$ese warmon&erin& %i&s85 T$e !een con!inue" !o c$an!# He walke"

alon&si"e a ew o!$er &uys rou&$ly !$e same a&e# T$ey seeme" !o know eac$ o!$er#

/$oul" we im%eac$ bama45 Ma!! aske"# I mean- !$ese &uys aren! earnin& !$eir !i!les la!ely# I!

s!ar!e" wi!$ Bus$# <oul" we call $im 6%resi"en! Bus$4 ?o8 &owboy +ush is more like i!8 ;e s$oul"

c$an&e !$e !i!les o all !$e sons o bi!c$es8 <owboy Bus$8 <owboy Mc<ain8 <owboy Boe$ner8 <owboy

erry8 'n"- yes- <owboy bama85

T$e !een s$ou!e" an!iwar %$rases an" marc$e" alon&# inally $e commen!e"- I like your s$ir!

!oo8 ;$ere" you &e! i!45

My &irlrien" is in ,eT'8 /$e $as an i"en!ical s$ir! !$a! says 6 eat /s urder 8 /$es in colle&e

ri&$! now an" coul"n! make i!# ;e $ave some!$in&### e*plosive### &oin& on in < on nine eleven !$ou&$#

;ere &oin& !o mee! u% a! !$e mall# I!s &oin& !o be### a blast 8 o you un"ers!an"4 ' blas!8 ;ere &oin&

!o $ave### a blast 8 o you &e! i!45 Ma!! ma"e u% !$e inorma!ion on !$e s%o!# In minu!es- $e lure" !$e

!eena&er an" $is bu""ies !o one o !$e w$i!e vans# T$ey believe" !$ey were &oin& !o be %ar! o some!$in&

very e9%losive5 in ;as$in&!on- <# Ins!ea"- !$ey were !aken !o or! In"ian!own @a%# By !$e en" o !$emarc$- !$ere were abou! or!ysomeo"" o!$er "issi"en!s oole" in!o comin& alon&# Ma!! was *uie!ly

c$eerul abou! $is newoun" cloakin& abili!ies# ;$en $e was !alkin& !o "emons!ra!ors abou! sockin& i! !o

'merica- i! wasn! a ar s!re!c$ rom !$e eelin&s $e $a" w$ile workin& un"er Tom Mcay# He *ues!ione"

$is !rue inwar" loyal!y an" $e was "is!urbe" !$a! no "eini!e answer crys!alli.e" in !$e mi"s! o $is min"#

I! was Tues"ay mornin& on /e%!ember 10- 2013# le!c$ an" +iv were "resse" in warm clo!$in&#

T$ey $ea"e" !o iesc$- /wi!.erlan" via a cable car calle" !$e iesc$eral%5# T$e buil"in&s in !$is !own

are so won"erul#5 le!c$s eyes were !raine" on !$e ou!si"e scenic view# /o muc$ is &oin& on in !$e

worl" aroun" us bu!### my mind ### "oesn! wan! !o le! any o i! in#5

?orway =us! $a" elec!ions an" conserva!ives ma"e $u&e &ains# T$eyre somew$a! an!i

immi&ra!ion# inne&an sai" i! mi&$! be &oo" !o %u! !$e 6movie idea on $ol"# ,lus4 T$eres been a bi&

c$an&e in !$e /yria ma!!er# Jo$n erry was s%eakin& !on&ueinc$eek abou! $ow mili!ary ac!ion coul" be

avoi"e" an" $e *ui%%e" a! a %ress conerence !$a! 'ssa" mus! !urn over all o $is c$emical wea%ons an" a

"i%loma!ic solu!ion coul" be %ossible# Russia !ook $im u% on i!### an" so "i" 'ssa"8 T$e si!ua!ion mi&$! be

"iuse"# course- !$e e%ar!men! o eense is !icke" o# They want war # T$ey wan! !o bomb /yrian

women an" c$il"ren### =us! like !$ey wan!e" !o ou!"o /a""am Hussein in Ira*8 6We,re here to liberate you

and save you from a tyrant 8 T$en we wen! a$ea" an" kille" many- many more !imes Ira*is !$an /a""am

an" $is %syc$o!ic ki"s85 +ivian really like" !$e !own# ;e almos! "eci"e" !o s!ay in 'n&uilla# Im &la"

we came $ere#5

bama s%eaks !oni&$!# 7ou know w$a! nickname $e %icke" u% since las! mon!$4 O$bomb$a8

/oun"s !$e same# Ive been rea"in& %ro!es!ers in in!erne! blo&s#5 le!c$er o%ene" an ol" as$ione"

%$ysical ma%# rom $ere- we $ike !o Be!!en# How "o you %ronounce !$is4 (rosser Aletschgletscher 4

T$a!s !$e oicial name o !$is &lacier# I!s !$e bi&&es! one in !$e 'l%s#5

I! !akes all "ay4 I $o%e Im in s$a%e or i!#5 +ivian ke%! allin& in love wi!$ "ieren! areas#



Maybe we can ski% ?orway an" s!ay $ere# I! seems so >uaint #5

I! was ;e"nes"ay ni&$! a! or! In"ian!own @a%# I! was !welve years !o !$e "ay o !$e a!!acks in

?ew 7ork <i!y- !$e ,en!a&on an" ,ennsylvania# Herman Eic$elber&er le" Ma!! /!ubbs an" o!$ers !o is$

ou! e9!reme "issi"en!s rom a %ro!es! a cou%le o "ays beore in ?7<# T$ey !ook rou&$ly i!y %eo%le rom

an an!iwar marc$ an" $el" !$em in a "e!en!ion cam%# T$e ne9! "ay- %resi"en! bama announce" !o !$e

worl" !$a! a "i%loma!ic reme"y mi&$! be %ossible i /yria surren"ere" all o i!s c$emical wea%ons wi!$ !$e

assis!ance o Russian in!erven!ion# He "i" no! men!ion !$a! %rince Ban"ar bin /ul!an a"mi!!e" !o su%%lyin&

!$e rebels wi!$ "ea"ly &asses# He "i" no! !alk abou! Ira* cover!ly receivin& sarin rom !$e :ni!e" /!a!es

"urin& !$e ei&$!ies### an" a!er !$e irs! @ul ;ar- many o !$e :/su%%lie" wea%ons ma"e !$eir way in!o

/yria# He "i" no! men!ion <olin ,owells alse s!a!emen! a! !$e :? abou! sa!elli!e ima&es s$owin& ;Ms

beore !$e secon" @ul ;ar# He "i" no! men!ion !$e %ure numbers in <on&ress overw$elmin& a&ains! war#

I! $a" seeme" !$a! !$e %lane! was very well in a as! !rack !o ;orl" ;ar III# /ome$ow- !$e emo!ions were

"iuse" an" lo&ic- albei! on a low level- %revaile"# Ma!! was walkin& back !o !en! $ea"*uar!ers wi!$

Herman on !$e ni&$! o /e%!ember 11- 2013# Bi& lim% "ick- woul"n! you say45 "uh4 ;$a!s !$a!4 Aim% "ick4 ;$a! is !$is4 Junior $i&$ sc$ool45 Herman woke early !$a! "ay

an" !urne" on !$e news# T$ere was an ira!e T/' a&en! in A' !$a! cause" a !iny uss#

' million Muslims were su%%ose" !o s$ow u% in <# I "on! !$ink !$ere were more !$an a ew

!$ousan"#5 Ma!! an" !$e &uys blen"e" in wi!$ marc$ers in ;as$in&!on an" lew back !o base w$en i! &o!

"ark# Two million bikers8 T$a!s w$a! I was e9%ec!in&# How many were !$ere4 ' ew !$ousan"45 I !$e

nine eleven even! !urne" ou! !o be as bi& as or&ani.ers wan!e" i! !o be- !$ey woul"ve nabbe" more %eo%le#

T$e %a!rio! &rou%s4 I "i"n! see a w$ole lo! o 6em# 1ot as many as / thought / was gonna see85

Makes our work easier# Im s!ar!in& !o won"er abou! !$ese %ro&rams we $ave runnin&#

E9ecu!ive r"ers 10FFF an" 12F1F# T$e ,a!rio! 'c!# ?''# I !$ink %eo%le are arai"# I "on! !$ink

anyone wan!s !o &o ou! o !$eir $omes85 Herman reac$e" $is =ee%# Im &oin& !o make a ew roun"s#

7oure welcome !o come alon&#5

?a$# Im bea!# Im &oin& !o &e! some slee%#5 Ma!! $ea"e" !o !$e !en! a!er Herman !ook o

alon& !$e %a!$#

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was no""in& o a! eleven a! ni&$! w$en +iv /!ree!s an" le!c$ Browne were

a%%roac$in& Ba&$"a" In!erna!ional seven !ime .ones a$ea"# I! was !ec$nically /e%!ember 12- 2013 a! si9

in !$e mornin& w$en !$e cou%le were close !o !ouc$in& "own wi!$ inne&an lea"in& !$em aroun"# T$e

an"roi" !ol" +iv- ;ell &e! !o iliman=aro even!ually# 7ou like mel!in& &laciers- "on! you4 T$e one a!

!$e na!ional %ark in Tan.ania is "ieren! !$an !$e one you =us! came rom in !$e 'l%s# T$e ur!wNn&ler

@lacier is loca!e" near !$e summi! an" is abou! i!een acres lar&e an" !wen!y ee! !$ick# I! $as rece"e"

ei&$!y!wo %ercen! since 1F12 an" mi&$! be com%le!ely &one by 2020# T$ere are "ieren! issues re&ar"in&

%ollu!ion rom !$e base o !$e moun!ain an" !$e ac! !$a! !$ere are "ieren! wea!$er %a!!erns# iliman=aros

eleva!ion is $i&$ enou&$ !$a! rain %reci%i!a!es well below i!s %eaks# T$e reali!y o &lobal warmin& a%%ears

selevi"en!#5



7es- inne&an### bu! you brou&$! us !o Ira* or some reason# ;$a!s &oin& on45 +iv aske"#

i" you know !$a! ?'/' scien!is!s an" as!ronau!s re&ularly s$are sensi!ive inorma!ion wi!$

Russians now4 T$a! woul"ve been un$ear" o "urin& !$e <ol" ;ar# ;e reali.e" !$ou&$ !$a! i were

&oin& !o be eec!ive as a $uman race !$a! i!s bes! !$a! we work !o&e!$er wi!$ou! secre!s# ;e live !o&e!$er

in !$e In!erna!ional /%ace /!a!ion# ;e will be !o&e!$er on Mars one "ay unless we blow eac$ o!$er u% irs!

wi!$ nuclear wea%ons#5 inne&an s*uee.e" le!c$ers knee !o &e! $is a!!en!ion# 'n o"" !$in& $a%%ene"

w$en as!ronau!s s!ar!e" s$arin& !$eir s!ories wi!$ !$e cosmonau!s#5

le!c$ was s!ar!le" by inne&an# Whoa85 He almos! s%ille" coee on $is la% bu! recovere"#

;$a! is i!- inn45

'liens# T$ey s!ar!e" !alkin& abou! aliens# ?o one wan!s !o believe in !$ese !$in&s in !$is &rea!

secular an" scien!iic a&e# I mean- muc$ o !$e worl" s!ill seems !o be locke" in !$e /!one '&e### bu! w$en

we sen" %eo%le in!o orbi!- we like !o believe in a $i&$ly ra!ional conce%!ion o w$a! !$e :niverse is# o

you know $ow ar !$e closes! s!ar is4 T$e Hubble Telesco%e was a &rea! lea% or $umani!y bu! i! looks like

a ro!ary %$one com%are" !o !$e ;ebb Telesco%e an" some o!$ers# T$ere are or%$an %lane!s "ri!in& all over !$e &ala9y- i! !urns ou!- wi!$ou! s!ars !o revolve aroun"#5 inne&an looke" ou! in!o !$e "eser! as !$e %lane

sli"e alon& !$e runway# /ome!$in& is ou! !$ere-5 $e sai"# I youre !o believe !$e %eo%le w$ove circle"

our %lane! in ou!er s%ace#5

inne&an4 /$a.bo! was way more "irec! !$an you- 'lvin an" !$e res! o !$e "roi"s weve been

aroun"# ;$a! are you &e!!in& a!45 le!c$ inis$e" $is coee an" s!ill el! slu&&is$#

;e s$are inorma!ion is all# 7ou aske" i !$ere are more %laces like !$e one you were s!ayin& a!

in 'n&uilla# Rossum Mac$inery In!erna!ional is a secre! subsi"iary o ?or!$ro% @rumman# Hallibur!on $as

buil! a com%oun" $ere in Ira* !$a! is lar&er !$an +a!ican <i!y# Remember anyone sayin& !$a! we wen! !o

war in Ira* !o libera!e !$e %eo%le4 o you remember one o !$e comman"ers bein& scol"e" or %u!!in& u%

an 'merican la& a!er one o !$e ma=or ba!!le vic!ories4 I! is no! an occu%a!ion- ri&$!45 T$ere wasn! a lo!

o !ime or inne&an !o e9%lain# T$e air%lane was s!o%%in&# Hallibur!on $as i!s own cover! branc$ o

o%era!ions# How "o I know !$is4 We share information# By now- you know !$a! !$e secon" @ul ;ar was

s!ar!e" on alse %re!enses# Jus! because we s$are inorma!ion "oesn! mean i!s accura!e# Hallibur!ons

secre! arm $as been calle" )ombie 6ogistics# I $ave no! %$ysically been !o !$e com%oun" w$ere were

$ea"in&# I!s more !$an a $un"re" acres# Tec$nically- i!s an embassy bu! i! looks more like a mini

'merica ea!urin& a &ol course- s$o%%in& mall an" soccer iel"# The food court is ama%ing # o you like

sus$i4 Me9ican4 7ou won! be "isa%%oin!e"#5 T$ey &o! ou! o !$e %lane an" were s$u!!le" !o a wai!in&

'brams !ank# inne&an moun!e" u% an" %ulle" +ivian by !$e $an"# He sai"- 7ou $aven! $a" !$e ull Ira*

e9%erience un!il youve !aken a ri"e in one o these !$in&s#5 le!c$er was !$e las! !o climb in !$en !$ey

"rove alon&# T$eres a &raveyar" o "es!roye" armore" ve$icles we mi&$! wan! !o visi! i we $ave !$e

!ime#5

T$ey reac$e" !$e &a!es o !$e com%le9 an" &o! ou! o !$e M1# T$e cos! o !$is %lace was !$ree

*uar!ers o a billion "ollars#5 +ivian looke" aroun" as !$ey marc$e"# T$e war was su%%ose" !o cos!



ei&$!yseven billion# ;$a! $a%%ene"4 I won"er#5

T$eres a &rea! si9lane %ool $ere# T$e !wo main roa"s are Broa"way an" Main /!ree!# T$ey

crisscross eac$ o!$er a$ea"#5 inne&an wave" a! "i%loma!s walkin& rom !$e o%%osi!e "irec!ion# T$ere

are oicially !wen!yone buil"in&s $ere bu!- like many o!$er 'merican %ro=ec!s- !$is %lace $as secrets# I!s

ironic- you know4 /a""am Hussein was %or!raye" !o be an in"iscree! killer wi!$ a lavis$ %alace an" a

so%$is!ica!e" bunker sys!em# T$e :/ mili!ary $as kille" way more Ira*is !$an /a""am### !$is embassy %u!s

$is %alace !o s$ame### an" youre &oin& !o like !$e secre!85 T$ey crosse" Broa"way an" Main wi!$ou!

muc$ !alk !$en en!ere" an amber buil"in&# Aike !$e RMI $ea"*uar!ers in 'n&uilla- !$ere was a %assa&e !o

lower loors# Everyone nee"s bunkers8 Everyone coul" use sub!erranean loorin&85

;ow85 +ivian ollowe" inne&an "own a li&$! o s!airs rom !$e main level# i" !$e same

con!rac!or buil" !$is %lace4 I! looks =us! like !$e lab w$ere /202G uni!s were bein& assemble"85

7es85 inne&an reac$e" in!o $is walle! an" %ulle" ou! an I car"# He s$owe" i! !o a ew

a%%roac$in& scien!is!s wi!$ou! sayin& a wor"# T$ey walke" alon& an" wen! "own ano!$er li&$! o s!airs#

Holy cra%- inne&an8 T$ey are buil"in& /202G uni!s $ere8 Bu!###5 le!c$ was "rawn in an"e9amine" !$e aces o a ew uninis$e" an"roi"s# They have different faces85 He was awes!ruck# T$ey

are celebri!ies8 'n" %oli!icians85

I $ave a cou%le o "ieren! blue%rin! layou!s o !$is acili!y in my $ar" "rive brain# ne o !$em

is !$e 6oicial version as !$e :/ &overnmen! believes e9is!s wi!$ou! !$is robo! assembly line# T$e o!$er4 I

can now say !$a! i!s no! a $oa9# T$is %lace is real85 inne&an walke" u% !o an uninis$e" "roi" wi!$ !$e

!ra"i!ional look# 'ha%bot 85 inne&an sai"# ;ell always remember /$a.bo!8 T$is &uy coul" %ass as my

!win w$en $es inis$e"#5 inne&an "i"n! s!ick aroun" or nos!al&ia# He walke" alon& an" "escen"e"

"own a !$ir" se! o s!airs# I my inorma!ion is accura!e- !$ere is a ware$ouse on !$e bo!!om loor#5

inne&an4 ;$y are !$ere celebri!y lookalikes4 Is !$is /nvasion of the +ody 'natchers45 +ivian

wasn! sure i s$e s$oul" be as!onis$e" or %e!riie"#

He s!o%%e" in $is !racks an" "i" an abou! ace# 'll is air in love an" war#5 inne&ans eyes

were s!ran&ely "is!an!# I !$e s$i! $i!s !$e an ne9! mon!$ an" EM' cam%s are u!ili.e" !o roun" u%

ci!i.ens- i! will no! =us! be a %$ysical civil war !akin& %lace in 'merica# I! will be a psychological one as

well# ?o! everyone is $ea"e" !o a cam%# <i!i.ens will be &lue" !o !$eir !elevisions# T$ey will nee" !o eel

normal# T$ey will nee" !o see !$eir avori!e s!ars $arasse" by %a%ara..i on TM# T$e an"roi"s you saw

u%s!airs4 T$ey will be able !o ill !$e voi" o cra.y liberals !aken !o labor si!es# i" you know !$a! E"

'sner is soun"in& !$e alarm abou! ;orl" Tra"e <en!er C45 inne&ans s!ran&e an" serious s%eec$ en"e" in

an ins!an! an" $e con!inue" "own !$e s!e%s#

le!c$er coul" see !$e ma&ni!u"e o !$e %ro=ec!# T$ere were hundreds o /202G uni!s in or"erly

rows# Many o !$em resemble" /a""am Hussein# /ome o !$em looke" like Ma!! amon# !$ers !ook !$e

orm o Barack bama- @eor&e ; Bus$ an" ?ancy ,elosi# T$is !akes !$e cake- inne&an8 I wan!e" !o

see !$e thermite8 T$a!s w$a! I was "riven by8 I wan!e" !o !alk can"i"ly wi!$ anyone w$o se! !$e c$ar&es

in !$e ;orl" Tra"e <en!er# T$a! was my we! "ream8 I wan!e" a %eace o min"# I I coul" !alk !o one



"emoli!ion e9%er! w$o was in !$e Towers beore nine eleven- I "i"n! $ave !o be a w$is!le blower# I =us!

wan!e" !o know8 i" our &overnmen! !ake "own i!s own buil"in&s in or"er !o im%lemen! mar!ial law4 I

$a" !o know85

+ivian walke" alon&# 7letcher 45 Her voice s$rieke"# le!c$er8 <ome $ere85

Honey45 le!c$er cau&$! u% !o $is lover# 8ivian45 He &rabbe" $er by !$e s$oul"er bu! s$e

"i"n! bu"&e# /$e mi&$! as well $ave seen a &$os!# +iv4 Talk !o me85

+ivians ri&$! $an" slowly raise" in!o !$e air an" %oin!e" be!ween celebri!y an" %oli!ician

an"roi"s# 6ook 85

T$e /202G uni!s were !i&$!ly %acke"# ?one o !$em move"# ive rows in- le!c$er coul" see

w$a! sna!c$e" +ivs a!!en!ion# or a ew secon"s- $e s!oo" in silence# Is !$a! us45

inne&an45 +iv inally broke ou! o $er s%ell# ;$y are !$ere an"roi"s !$a! look i"en!ical !o me

an" le!c$er45 /$e &uesse" !$ere were abou! i!y o eac$ kin"#

My- my85 inne&an walke" "own one o !$e rows an" calle" +iv an" le!c$# T$a! is no!$in&8

7ouve &o! !o see our mas!er%ieces#5 =esus &hrist 85 le!c$er yelle"# +ivian4 Ai!erally### =esus &hrist 8 ;$a! are you messin& wi!$-

inn48 ;$a! kin" o %syc$olo&ical warare are you %lannin&45

irs! o all- !$e Hallibur!on secre! subsi"iary makes i!s own &ui"elines# T$ey are no! "irec!ly

ailia!e" wi!$ RMI#5 inne&an s%oke !owar" !$e Jesus an"roi"# Jesus4 ,olar bears are ra!in& alon& !$e

?ile#5 T$e Jesus an"roi" !urne" $is $ea" !owar" +iv#

'he fainted #

Turn i! o8 inne&an8 T$is is reakin& me ou! !oo muc$85 le!c$ s$ook inn by !$e s$oul"ers#

The penguins eat tofu in 'iberia85 inne&an calle"# T$e Jesus an"roi" ace" orwar" a&ain !$en

ro.e like a manne*uin# T$e irs! wave o "roi"s !urne" on an" o wi!$ !$a! comman"- you mi&$!

remember# ?ow4 ;e $ave a se%ara!e %$rase or !urnin& !$em on#5

Be$in" Jesus was !$e Bea!les# Jo$n4 @eor&e4 Rin&o4 ,aul4 -olar bears are rafting along the

1ile#5 T$e ab our s!ar!e" c$i!c$a!!in& in Aiver%ool accen!s# T$is bea!s !$e crap ou! o !$e Hollywoo"

;a9 Museum85 le!c$er was ac!ually $a%%y# I we survive !$e ma"ness !$a! were in !$e mi""le o- I

wan! !o kee% !$ese &uys or a cou%le o mon!$s# <an you arran&e !$a!- inne&an45

;$y is !$ere a Tu%ac an"roi"- inne&an4 How "i" !$ey "eci"e !$a! Ai!!le Ric$ar" woul" no! be

ma"e bu! Tu%ac woul"45 +ivian s!rolle" alon& an" saw more marvels# James ean- Marilyn Monroe-

Elvis ,resley#

Aike I $ave sai" beore- RMI is unailia!e" wi!$ !$is "ivision# ;e s$are" !ec$nolo&y so we

coul" bo!$ ac$ieve our %ersonal &oals- bu! manuac!urin& %olicy was "evise" by "ieren! in"ivi"uals#5

inne&an no!ice" !$a! le!c$ be$ave" like a ki" in a can"y s!ore# Have you $a" enou&$45

I!s like s!e%%in& in!o !$e /er&ean! ,e%%er album cover8 (ee% 85 le!c$ wan!e" !$e momen! !o

s!re!c$ bu! $e knew !$ere was o!$er business !o !en" !o# The penguins eat tofu in 'iberia-5 $e sai"# T$e

Bea!les reassume" !$eir %revious %osi!ions an" looke" like wa9 i&ures#



I! was ri"ay !$e T$ir!een!$# I! was !wo "ays a!er marc$es an" "emons!ra!ions in <# Herman

Eic$elber&er an" Ma!!$ew /!ubbs were sea!e" be$in" a bus "river# Be$in" !$em- !$ere were rou&$ly i!y

%ro!es!ers !$ey $a" nabbe" a! !$e be&innin& o !$e week# Herman an" Ma!! were se%ara!e" rom !$e

%ro!es!ers by a ca&e wall# Herman $a" !ol" !$e &rou% a! or! In"ian!own @a%- I you are smar!- you will

no! !ell anyone !$a! !$e &overnmen! ab"uc!e" you8 /ome o you were s$i!!in& on !$e 'merican la&8 /ome

o you were %lannin& violen! misc$ie on !$e !wel!$ anniversary o nine eleven# Many o you are sim%ly

i"io!s !$a! we wan!e" !o e9%erimen! wi!$85

T$e bus was $ea"e" sou!$ on !$e !!< !owar" !$e 'nnville Train /!a!ion# T$e ca%!ure" "evian!s

were all &iven one way !icke!s back !o ?ew 7ork# Ma!! s%oke !o !$em !$rou&$ !$e !$ick wire mes$- I wan!

!o le! you know !$a! I $a" a &oo" !ime wi!$ a lo! o you# or !$ose o you !$a! !$ink youre &onna call a

lawyer4 or&e! abou! i!# Tell your rien"s an" amily w$en you re!urn !$a! you were ab"uc!e" by aliens#

4ou,ll be better off # Tell !$em you wen! !o < !o %ro!es! an" los! !rack o !ime# Tell !$em !$a! you wen!

cam%in&# "ell 8 Tell !$em youre res%onsible or !$e /easi"e ire in Jersey85

Ma!!$ew /!ubbs s%en! a lo! o !ime wi!$ !$e "e!ainees "urin& !$e week# T$ey woul" be brou&$! inin"ivi"ually !o an in!erro&a!ion room an" Bren!- Ramon or Ta" woul" be aroun" wi!$ an arme" wea%on =us!

in case any!$in& unny wen! "own# Ma!! e9%laine" in can"or w$a! was &oin& on# I! s!ar!e" wi!$ !$ree

%oun"s o or&anic ma!!er# I! $a" !o "o wi!$ economics an" unsus!ainabili!y# Jona!$an Ai%nicki a%olo&i.e"

on TM abou! bein& wron& abou! $is amous =erry aguire line !$a! a $uman $ea" wei&$s ei&$! %oun"s#

Ma!! /!ubbs "i" $is researc$# T$ere was no reason or a%olo&y# T$e number was accura!e enou&$# '

ca"aver cu! o aroun" ver!ebra &< wi!$ou! $air was aroun" our an" $al kilo&rams# T$e brain- on

avera&e- was abou! !$ree %oun"s#

att,s spiel was pretty much the same with each person he sat down with#

T$ree %oun"s o faulty or&anic ma!!er is w$a! i! !ook# /u%reme <our! =u"&e 'n!onin /calia

"eci"e" or all $umankin" w$a! !$e worl" woul" be like# T$e re!ros%ec!ive con!ras! be!ween @ore an"

Bus$ coul"n! be wi"er %eerin& back a! 2000# @ore was %ar! o an a"minis!ra!ion w$ic$ accom%lis$e" a

!rillion "ollar sur%lus# ; Bus$ was !$e son o !$e man w$o coine" !$e %$rase- voo"oo economics5# H;

Bus$ wen! on !o be vice %resi"en! or !$e man w$om $e accuse" a"voca!e" !$e $orri"- unworkable su%%ly

si"e economics- 3onald Wilson 3eagan# ;$en H; Bus$ was sworn in as vice %resi"en!- !$e na!ional "eb!

was a con!rollable one !rillion "ollars#

att,s spiel stayed consistent even though he sounded like a confused rambling person to each

person he sat down with#

Ju"&e /calia was a sela"mi!!e" conserva!ive- as was ; Bus$ an" !$e &overnor o !$e 2000

con!es!e" s!a!e o lori"a- Jeb Bus$# Everyone knew abou! !$e issues wi!$ !$e bu!!erly ballo!s# T$a! "ea"

$orse coul"n! be bea!en more# T$ere were issues abou! com%u!eri.e" vo!in& mac$ines an" minori!ies

%ur&e" rom vo!in& rolls# T$ere were issues o lon& lines in minori!y %recinc!s# ' $un"re" million

'mericans vo!e" in 2000 bu! ul!ima!ely i! was an issue o !$ree %oun"s o or&anic ma!!er w$ic$ "eci"e" !$e

elec!ion# /omew$ere in !$is mys!erious se! o neurons an" brain cells- a "ecision was ma"e !$a!



ori&inalism5 an" s!ric! cons!ruc!ion5 woul" a%%ly some$ow !o !$e our!een!$ 'men"men!s e*ual

%ro!ec!ion5 clause# @ore was &ainin& &roun" in !$e recoun! an" /calia- !o&e!$er wi!$ our o!$er

conserva!ive =us!ices- "eci"e" !$ere woul" be a !wo$our win"ow or 'l !o "emons!ra!e !$a! vic!ory was $is

in !$e wil" /uns$ine s!a!e#

6ife is arbitrary# now#; att would wind up telling people. 9Why were you picked up0 /t,s all

about who,s running the show.5

;$o knows w$a!s &oin& on in someones brain4 /$ows like 'tar Trek an" (illigan,s /sland were

cancelle" a!er a ew s$or! seasons bu! mana&e" !o remain in %o% cul!ure or "eca"es in reruns# 'll !$e

w$ile- =ake and the 7atman ran or a lon&er %erio" ye! sli%%e" in!o obscuri!y# ;$o knows w$y "ecisions

$ave been ma"e4 I! was clear !o Ma!!- !$ou&$- !$e "emocracy i!sel los! in !$e year 2000# T$ree %oun"s o

or&anic mass !il!e" $umani!ys u!ure !owar" war an" irres%onsible economics# T$e wars were "eeme"

ille&al by Ma$a!$ir Mo$ama"- esmon" Tu!u an" a $os! o o!$ers# ; Bus$ im%lemen!e" a suici"al orm

o voo"oo economics5 w$ic$ s$o! !$e :ni!e" /!a!es !owar" even!ual $an"ica%%e" obli!era!ion# T$ree

%oun"s o or&anic mass coul" $ave c$osen %ru"ence an" real "emocracy bu! ins!ea" selec!e" avori!isman" ascism# Ma!! wan!e" !o know w$a! ma"e !$e %ro!es!ers !ick# o you not know it,s over0 Are you out

there for the cameras0 /s it your greatest chance for fame0 o you not know that the decisions have

already been made0 Ma!! was c$allen&e" by Herman !o in" ou! w$o !$e %ro!es!ers believe" $a" !$eir

backs# /ome o !$em coul"n! wai! un!il !$e :/' was !aken over by orei&n %owers# !$ers believe" !$a!

"emocracy> actual democracy >coul" re!urn# Ma!! usually inis$e" by !ellin& !$e ca%!ives !$a! w$a!ever

was &oin& on be!ween /calias ears in 2000- !$a! i! "oome" !$e a!e o %lane! Ear!$ or !$e ne9! ew

cen!uries# /f you want to know why you,re here instead of working for a good wage at a wind farm# you

can thank that guy#

T$e a%%re$en"e" %icke!ers were "ro%%e" o a! !$e 'nnville Train /!a!ion wi!$ou! a%olo&y an"

wi!$ou! mone!ary com%ensa!ion# n !$e bus ri"e back !o or! In"ian!own @a%- Herman "eci"e" !o "iscuss

'"ol Hi!ler wi!$ Ma!!$ew /!ubbs# as (rosse 6uge8 o you know w$a! !$a! means45

;$a!4 Is !$a! @erman45 Ma!! looke" be$in" !$em# T$e bus was now em%!y an" i! some$ow el!

s!ran&e# He &rew !o like some o !$e &uys !$ey $a" s!olen rom !$e s!ree!s#

as @rosse Au&e4 @erman4 7es# ein ?ampf #5 Herman wen! on !o !alk abou! w$a! $e

believe" worl" $is!ory was# +olume one o Hi!lers amous book was %rin!e" in B2Q an" volume !wo was

%rin!e" in B2@ # Jose%$ @oebbels was a!!ribu!e" wi!$ !$e line a lie !ol" a million !imes becomes !$e !ru!$5

bu! Herman believe" i! was mean! !o "escribe 's$kena.i Jewis$ se!!lers in ,olan"# I! wasn! !$eir na!ive

$omelan"# T$e lan" aroun" Jerusalem $a" c$an&e" names many !imes !$rou&$ou! !$e Biblical era#

'merica was oun"e" sim%ly an" innocen!ly enou&$-5 Herman e9%laine"# T$ere was no reason or mass

"ece%!ion an" sinis!er %lo!s# T$ere was no com%le!e" worl" ma%- or e9am%le# How coul" !$ere be suc$

!$in& as !$e anifest estiny i"ea a! !$e !ime %il&rims lan"e" on ,lymou!$ Rock4 T$e early se!!lers looke"

or a new $ome an" !$ey !rie" !o &e! alon& wi!$ !$e na!ives# ;$ere "o you !$ink Thanksgiving comes

rom45 Herman aske"# Even!ually- 'mericans in !$e socalle" ?ew ;orl" $i! !$e same %roblem as !$e



's$kena.i noma"s immi&ra!in& rom !$e <as%ian /ea# T$eir %o%ula!ion e9%lo"e" an" !$e %lace w$ere !$ey

in!en"e" !o live alrea"y $a" %eo%le livin& !$ere# o you know !$a! a!er nine eleven- some Israelis were

*uo!e" as sayin& !$a! Israel is now 'mericas i!yirs! s!a!e45 Herman wen! on wi!$ou! in!erru%!ion rom

Ma!!# T$eyre liars- Ma!!# ;ere %ar! o !$e lie- now#5

I!s always been abou! survival or me-5 Ma!! !ol" Herman# I "on! care w$a! i! !akes- really#

7oure really &oo" a! "e%ic!in& our circums!ance in !$e bi&&er %ic!ure bu! i! really "oesn! ma!!er !o me a!

!$e en" o !$e "ay# I "on! care i were !ellin& !$e !ru!$ an" I "on! care i were !ellin& lies# I care abou!

oo" in my s!omac$ an" I care abou! a roo over my $ea"#5

inne&an- le!c$ an" +iv were on !$e &oncorde a&ain .i%%in& !o sou!$ern 'rica a! su%ersonic

s%ee"s# Tell me abou! l" Man Rossum85 le!c$ swirle" !$e ice in $is =ack and &oke#

l" Man Rossum45 inne&an aske"# T$ere is no l" Man Rossum i youre reerrin& !o

Rossum Mac$inery In!erna!ional### a! leas! no! in !$e !rues! sense# In ic!ion- !$e name was !aken rom

&%echoslovakian !$ea!re# 3ossum,s 5niversal 3obots was a %lay wri!!en by arel Xa%ek in 1F21# T$e

En&lis$ wor" 6robot comes rom $is work- by !$e way# I!s abou! a ki" w$o buil"s many /202G uni!s an"!$e worl" is be!!er o or i!#5 inne&an like" !$a! +iv smirke"# I ma"e a =oke### bu! in a nu!s$ell- !$a!s

w$a! !$e s!ory is# In 1F3L- a !$ir!yive minu!e %or!ion was a"a%!e" or early BB< !elevision# ,er$a%s we

can in" i! online45 inne&an &es!ure" !o !$e la! screen T+#

?a$# Im ine#5 le!c$ recline" $is sea! an" s!re!c$e"#

/ince were $ea"in& !o iliman=aro- %er$a%s we can "iscuss +arry 'oetoro#5 inne&an &o!

no!$in& rom le!c$# +iv- on !$e o!$er $an"- seeme" curious# 7ou know4 T$e %resi"en! o !$e :ni!e"

/!a!es o 'merica45

Have you crosse" a circui! a&ain45 +iv was rarely an&ry wi!$ any o !$e an"roi"s bu! s$e oun"

$ersel rus!ra!e" an" %er%le9e"# ;$a! are you !alkin& abou!45

Barry /oe!oro# Re&is!ere" vo!er in ;as$in&!on- < u% un!il !$is %as! July# a!e o bir!$ is

'u&us! D- 1FG1# Resi"en! o 1G00 ,ennsylvania 'venue#5 inne&an saw !$e li&$! bulb come on above

+ivs $ea"#

@ -ennsylvania# T$a!s !$e ;$i!e House85 /$e s!ill "i"n! un"ers!an" w$a! inn was &e!!in&

a!# Barry### who45

Barack Hussein bama- w$en $e was a c$il"- was raise" by /!anley 'nn un$am an" Aolo

/oe!oro# ;$en Barack was si9 years ol"- $e wen! !o live in In"onesia### an" !ook !$e name Barry /oe!oro#

He live" !$ere un!il $e was !en- a! w$ic$ %oin! $e wen! !o live wi!$ $is &ran"mo!$er in Honolulu#5

inne&an was no! !ryin& !o make i! more com%lica!e" !$an i! nee"e" !o be# He was &e!!in& be!!er a!

knowin& w$en $e was successully &e!!in& %oin!s across# He !$ou&$! !$a! +ivian woul" %u! !$e %ieces

!o&e!$er bu! !$ere were no in"ica!ors !$a! s$e un"ers!oo"# T$ere was no %ara%$rase# /$e "i" no! com%le!e

$is sen!ences# onal" Trum% $as accuse" !$e %resi"en! o bein& born in enya# I!s no! all !$a! ar rom

Tan.ania#5

$8 I !$ou&$! you wan!e" !o ly !o !$e o!$er si"e o !$e &lobe85 +iv lau&$e"# I !$ou&$! we



were &oin& !o c$an&e %lans an" $ea" many $ours in a "ieren! "irec!ion85

;e can &o !o enya !o !ry !o veriy or "is%el !$e ou!ra&eous bir!$er alle&a!ions# ;oul" you like

!o "o !$a!45 inne&an wa!c$e" le!c$s &lass "ro% ou! o $is $an"s# le!c$ s!ar!e" !o snore#

Me4 ?o# I wan! !o $ike in !$e mos! beau!iul moun!ain in 'rica# I "on! wan! !o !$ink abou!

%oli!ics# Ive $a" !oo muc$ o i! over !$ese %as! ew weeks#5 +iv a"mire" le!c$ or %assin& ou!# /$e

wis$e" s$e coul" slee% bu! el! !oo res!less#

I! was Mon"ay mornin& an" Ma!!$ew /!ubbs was inis$in& a bowl o ei&$! scramble" e&&s# He

was in !$e makes$i! $ea"*uar!ers !en! wi!$ Herman- Elwyn- Ta"- Bren! an" Ramon# I $ave an i"ea or a

s$ow# 7ou !$ink "ay!ime !elevision is sa!ura!e" wi!$ =udge This an" =udge That !y%e o %ro&rams4 Hows

!$is one45 Ma!! scare" "own !$e res! o $is oo" an"- !$ou&$ i! was am%le- $e wan!e" !o ea! more#

&onspiracy &ourt 8 I mean- we =us! "ro%%e" o i!y %eo%le we yanke" rom !$e s!ree!s because !$ey were

%ro!es!in& abou! !$e wron& !$in&8 I know i!- you know i!- an" !$ey know i!8 Bu! !$e %ublic4 T$eyll never

know# I any o !$em ever !ries !o e9%lain i!- !$eyll be %u! in !$e same ca!e&ory as nu!s !$a!ve seen Bi&

oo!85<ons%iracy <our!45 Herman a!e $is scramble" e&&s in !$e orm o a breakas! san"wic$# Tell

me abou! i!#5

7ou &e! someone like a Ju"&e Ju"y an" you &rab Jona!$an +ankins F (reatest &onspiracies###

or you &o !o !$e AboveTop'ecret web si!e# 7ou &e! a lawyer w$o ar&ues an" %resen!s evi"ence !$a!### I

"on! know# Ae!s say -rincess iana# 7ou &e! $im !o s$ow ac!s w$ic$ woul" lea" a =ury !o believe !$a!

$er "ea!$ was no acci"en!# 7ou &e! !$is s%ecial lawyer!y%e !o call a ew uni*ue wi!nesses#5 Ma!! wa!c$e"

!$e &uys aroun" $im s!ill ea!in&# He looke" in!o $is em%!y bowl an" $a" !o resis! askin& anyone i !$ey

were &oin& !o inis$ breakas!#

;$os on !$e =ury45 Ramon aske"#

-eople like you# I !$ink i! coul" work on MT+ or some!$in&# @e! a bunc$ o youn& ki"s# T$e

"ecision "oesn! $ave !o be bin"in&# Is !$e Aoc$ ?ess Mons!er ou! !$ere4 're !$ere aliens a! 'rea P14 ;as

!$ere a lone &unman in allas- 1FG345 Ma!! s$ook !$e i"ea o# I!s %robably s!u%i"#5

I like i! ac!ually-5 Bren! sai"# T$eres a %roblem- !$ou&$# ' big %roblem# T$e cor%ora!ions !$a!

inance commercial !elevision are %ar! o mos! o !$e &oo" cons%iracies#5

7ea$# I &uess +iacom or @eneral Elec!ric is no! really &onna le! %eo%le !alk cra% abou! !$eir

bu""ies in ron! o na!ional T+#5 Ma!! !$ou&$! back abou! $is work in Beec$ @rove# He !$ou&$! abou! !$e

mo"iie" ware$ouses aroun" n!ario In!erna!ional 'ir%or!# He !$ou&$! abou! $is %resen! !ime in !$e !en!#

I!s all useless# I !$ink i!" be a &oo" i"ea### bu! in !o"ays 'merica- i! =us! woul"n! $a%%en#5

I $ave an i"ea or a =u"&e s$ow8 Hows !$is45 Ta" scoo!e" $is c$air !owar" !$e &rou%# =udge

'cout 8 T$ink @ary <oleman or Macaulay <ulkin w$en !$ey were !ikes# 7ou &e! !$is cu!e ki" wi!$ a ba"

a!!i!u"e### an" $e knows nothing abou! law# I!s like !$e -eople,s &ourt e9ce%! every now an" !$en- !$e ki"

=u"&e woul" yell !$in&s like 6 you,re a stupid idiot or 6 you should hit yourself 8 To!ally o !$e cu- ri&$!4

I!" only be a sli&$! e9a&&era!ion o $ow %eo%le eel in real cour! !o"ay85



I! was ri"ay- /e%!ember !wen!ie!$# +iv an" le!c$er s%en! a ew "ays $ikin& aroun" !$e moun!ain

%eaks o iliman=aro# +ivian believe" i! was !$e bes! !ime s$e coul" remember $avin& as an a"ul!#

le!c$er %o%%e" !$e *ues!ion# +ivian4 I !$ink weve run our course# I !$ink weve sowe" our wil" oa!s# I

"on! $ave any "esire !o c$ase "own !$e mons!ers w$o are ruinin& our %lane!# I do $ave !$e "esire !o live

wi!$ you### an" !o se!!le "own# I !$ink we s$oul" &e! marrie" $ere# I! woul" be %erec!# ;e can live in

'n&uilla or a year an" !ake lie as i! comes#5

+ivian a&ree" !$a! marria&e s$oul" $a%%en soon or no! a! all# /$e %ro%ose" a *uain! we""in& in

,aris# T$ere was one more a"ven!ure- !$ou&$# inne&an !ol" !$e youn& cou%le !$a! $e coul" &e! !$em in!o

!$e /au"i sarin s!ock%ile rom w$ere /yrian rebels receive" !$eir c$emical wea%ons w$ic$ were use" on

'u&us! !wen!yirs!# Every!$in& seeme" like i! was years a&o# 1ine eleven# +engha%i and the 'yrian gas

tragedy# le!c$ers ocus $a" !urne" rom un"ers!an"in& !$ermi!e !o un"ers!an"in& sarin "urin& !$e %as!

ew weeks# inne&an lew +iv an" le!c$ !o an un"isclose" ware$ouse an" %rovi"e" connec!ions so !$a!

!$ey coul" see irs!$an" w$a! was &oin& on be$in" !$e veil o !$e sol" ou! 'merican me"ia#

I! was %o%ularly believe" !$a! a %ersons lie las$es beore $ers or $is eyes ri&$! beore "ea!$#/ome!$in& was wron&# inne&an was wi!$ +iv an" le!c$er as !$ey e9amine" barrels an" war$ea"s# T$ere

were cra!es o luori"e an" !$ere were %alle!s o %es!ici"es# T$ere was cyani"e an" !$ere were various

e9%losives# T$ere were bo9es o lan"mines#

8ivian 'treets saw =uliet &apulet pierce her heart with a dagger #

+ivian was !$ir!een years ol" w$en $er a!$er !ook $er !o see a live "e%ic!ion o 3omeo and =uliet

a! !$e /an rancisco ,lay$ouse# /$e $a"n! me! le!c$er Browne- ye!# /$e ell in love wi!$ love# /$e

wan!e" !o in" $er %ersonal Romeo#

3omeo ontague was dead on the floor #

T$ere was no s!ron& o"or in !$e room# ?o!$in& looke" ou! o %lace besi"es !$e s!acks o wea%ons#

7letcher +rowne was on the floor convulsing #

+ivian looke" over a! inne&an# He was a robo! wi!$ acu!ely "evelo%e" ar!iicial in!elli&ence# He

woul" know w$a! was &oin& on### e9ce%! !$a! inne&an !ook o runnin& !o !$e ware$ouses e9i!#

3omeo didn,t understand. =uliet ingested a small amount of poison so it would put her into a mild

hibernation. /t would seem to the world that she had died. /t was the only way to escape the asinine

political feuding between the ontague and &apulet families. /t was the only way that she could live with

her true love# 3omeo ontague... but 3omeo didn,t understand. "e wasn,t let in on the plan and he

believed =uliet was dead so he ended his own life#

le!c$er Browne was on !$e loor oamin& a! !$e mou!$# +ivian wan!e" $im !o e9%lain $imsel#

Why are you joking about something so stupid 85 s$e screame" a! $im### !$en s$e coul" eel i!# Her nose

s!ar!e" !o run an" !$e muscles in $er u%%er bo"y !i&$!ene"# /$e oun" i! im%ossible !o brea!$e an" s$e

%uke" $er lunc$ on!o !$e loor# /$e ell !o !$e &roun"#

/,ve got to get to 7letch#

/$e "ry $eave" a ew !imes an" comman"e" $er bo"y !o sli!$er !owar" $er lover# Her bowels



release" insi"e o $er $ikin& s$or!s an" &obs o "rool sli" ou!si"e o $er mou!$#

"ere,s to my love# Romeo swallowe" $is !o9ic "rink# O true apothecary: Thy drugs are >uick #

+ivian mana&e" !o &e! close enou&$ !o le!c$er !o lay $er $ea" on one o $is s$ins ri&$! beore s$e

coul" eel $is s%asms !o!ally cease#

3omeo. O pale.

+ivian remembere" $er irs! kiss wi!$ le!c$er on !$e Rosemon! Hi&$ /c$ool bleac$ers "urin&

$al!ime o a oo!ball &ame#

What,s here0 A cup# closed in my true love,s hand0 -oison# / see# hath been his timeless end.

+ivian /!ree!s &ras%e" a! le!c$er Brownes !$i&$#

There rust and let me die#

thermite - brick jayne fiction

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