THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY: DISCIPLINE THAT WORKS

Who is Becky Bailey?

• Author• There’s Got to be a better

way: Discipline that Works• Internationally recognized

in:• Developmental Psychology• Childhood Education• Founder of Loving Guidance,

Inc. and Conscious Discipline Program

• Raised over $ 2 million dollars for children

There’s Got to be a Better Way: Discipline that Works

• In-depth investigation of understanding children• Quizzes to see where each

person is at as a teacher and/or as a parent• Encourages you to be very

reflective• Take the ideas slowly• Chapter at a time• Each chapter builds on each

other• Can be used in conjunction

with other texts of hers• Used here in conjunction with

PALS, Oh Say What You See

What is Oh Say What They See?• Language Building Technique• Used in all five of the classrooms• Each age group and ability level uses it differently• Parallel Talk-Child Centered• Explaining what the child is hearing, seeing, doing

• Tracking Statements• Descriptive• Phrases about materials the child interacts with or sees

• Expansion• Adding to the child’s language

• Expansion Plus• Adding several more words to the previous expansion

What is PALS?• Playing and Learning to Succeed• A three step process to deal with behaviors• A way to support the child in an appropriate manner and teach the child at the same time• Can be used at any age• Used in all five classrooms

• Begin with tracking statement• You are screaming.

• You see the snow.

• Say what you see in a short statement

• What we have noticed

Emotional Intelligence • Emotion Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to be emotional self-aware, control impulses, delay gratification, read social-emotional cues, show empathy, and to know the difference between feelings and actions• Believe to be hard-wired in brain between the ages of birth to eight years old• Most connections are solidified by the eight year old point• THIS TIME IS CRITICAL!• Development occurs through developmentally appropriate adult-child interactions• Powerful interactions are defined as those in which you connect with the child while at the same time saying or doing something to guide the child’s learning in a small step forward.

Guidelines and Rules• Boundaries are imperative• Need to know what is

expected of them• Expectations must be realistic• As children mature, the more

structure they need• Encourage children to help

with rules• Rules need to be

developmentally appropriate• Example of rules• When something happens,

use it as an opportunity to teach• Set guidelines early

Structure • State clearly what goals are• Anticipate potential problems• Regain control of their body

and yours• Safe Place Techniques

• Environmental Solutions• Warnings• Observe the child• Expect child to be successful• Learned helplessness

Routines• Developing a routine/schedule• Arrival routines• Management routines• Hygiene• Lunch

• Make sure everyone follows the same procedures• The child is aware and/or helps create the routine•Warnings are given• The routine can be role played• Changes in routines are discussed

Limits• Assure the physical and emotional security• Empower children• Help make a cooperative classroom or home• Encourage the development of decision making, self control, and responsibility• Provide consistency• Helps the teacher grow

When a behavior occurs…• Redirect child• Use a tracking statement• Engage the child in something they are interested them• Offer them another part to their play• Observe and take note for another time• Give the children tools during the situation• You look so angry I can tell…• Remember last time

• Offer two choices

Think before we talk• Think about what you want to say before you say it• Does it normally get the result you want?• If so, how can you transfer that to times where it does not go

so well?• If not, what happened?• How could you have done it differently next time?

• What result did you want and could you work backwards?

• What does what you said say to the child?

• What do you really want to say to the child?

• Remind children about past experiences in a thoughtful way• Last time, you were sad when that happened• You didn’t have enough time• Tell them what their body is doing

Steps to Success…• Acknowledge the child’s feelings, wishes, wants• Understand their emotion and keep it in the moment• Have the child part of the solution• Feelings should be reflected• Limits must be specifc• Commands give children no usable information• Target acceptable behavior• Use the term ACT• Acknowledge• Communicate• Target acceptable vehaviors

• State the final choice• Offer them a safe place• Natural consequences

Beliefs that structure the environment• Important to know your belief system• Poisonous Pedagogy• The study of teaching• Children are considered “good” when they think behave the

way they are told to behave• Necessary to talk about your feelings• Important to give labels • PALS• Books about feelings

• Okay to feel what you feel• It’s important to develop a sense of balance• It‘s okay to make mistakes!

Power• Find out each persons power in your family or classroom• Begin to notice trends in:• Disabilities• Younger and older• Children with siblings

• Study of the children• “The structure we provided children will ultimately shape the lens by which they see the world.”

Power Over• Need to control• Sense of self depends on power• “bossy”• Fearful world• Control• For needs to get met, power over seek out power under and

vice versa• Punitive guidance• Punishment is relied upon• Primary goal is obedience

Power Under• Need to help others• Sense of self depends on others• “follower”• Fearful world• Permissive guidance• Children are allowed to:• Terrorize• Exploit• Deprive

• Parents feel guilty• Rules apply to others not them• Structure is seen as a threat

Personal Power• Believe the world is a safe comfortable place• Able to interact easily• Strong sense of identity• Comfortable and self-confident in situations• For infants, they exhibit their personal power when their needs are met when they cry and are responded to based on that cry• Belief is their needs are met• Responsibility in the guidance system• Sees basic worth for each individual

Development of Misbehavior: Infancy• Cry an act of survival• Begin to bond emotional • Imitate• Respond to faces

Development of Misbehavior: Toddler• Huge cognitive leaps• Acts on impulse• Egocentric• Developing Autonomy• Emotional bursts of power struggles• Validate children’s feelings• Help children manage during this time by:• Redirection• Sharing consequences to actions• Offering choices• Changing the routine

Development of Misbehavior: Preschool and Primary• Able to use more language• Have a longer attention span• Begin to understand natural consequences• Experience one emotion at a time • Beginning to strive for consistent personal power• Aware of relationships• Begins to gain perspective of others

Did you know?

• Many people believe that by getting children to feel bad they will act well.• Sends the message that this

behavior is acceptable only when authority is around

• Children regulate their own behavior• Learning their outcome of

their own choices• Choices are powerful!!

PunishmentNatural and Logical Consequences

Role of teacher in Natural Consequences• Allow the child to experiences the consequences of the child’s choices• Provide information• Offer words for feelings• Read books for feelings• Talk about the situation

• Offers empathy if needed• Takes notes (mental or written) about the situation• Must understand to learn from it• Tone of voice is respective• “To learn from a mistake we must accept them without blame”

Choices• Help children focus• Same outcome/end result but offer choices to that outcome• Using choices as a guidance tool• Provides children with practice of making decisions• The children are able to assert themselves• Model making mistakes• Offer small choices as children are learning•With developmental delays, you may need to show the object• Return later when child is calm