Let's Build Hope

The Psychology of the Ask: Understanding Intrinsic Motivation

Presented by Linda B. Haley, CFREPrincipal – Let’s Build Hope, LLC

Two-Part Presentation

• About the donor…• About the fundraiser…

Let's Build Hope

UNDERSTANDING HIGH NET WORTH DONORS

Why Major Gifts?

Are Major Donors Worth the Effort?

• Reviewing patterns of behavior helps us understand, to some degree, how major donors feel

• Considering the statistics helps us understand just how impactful major donors (and their gifts!) can be

Study of High Net Worth Donors

• 2012 study by Bank of America & the Center on Philanthropy– 700 respondents– Households with incomes greater than $200,000 and/or net worth

more than $1,000,000 excluding the monetary value of their home – Trends in the giving and volunteering behaviors of high net worth

individuals and households

Their Giving Habits

• 95% of high net worth households donated to at least one charity, contrasted to the approximately 65% of the general population who give

• Compared with 2009, fewer high net worth donors gave spontaneously in response to a need and a greater proportion funded nonprofit general operations

• High net worth donors are consistently motivated to give because they feel moved about how their gift can make a difference

Their Giving Habits

• Majority of high net worth households reported having a great deal of confidence in the ability of nonprofits (90.8%) and individuals (89.%) to solve societal problems

• Average amount donated by high net worth households to charity overall in 2012 was $52,770

• 74% reported that feeling moved about how a gift can make a difference remained a top motivation

• Annually supporting the same causes and giving to an efficient organization held steady as motivations for high net worth donors

Let's Build Hope

UNDERSTANDING THE MOTIVES OF TODAY’S MAJOR DONOR

What Motivates Donors?

Reported Motivation for Charitable Giving

• Motivations Percentage of Respondents (donors chose 3)– Basic needs 43.0 – Poor help themselves 36.7 – Make community better 36.7 – Make world better 35.4 – For equity (responsibility to help those with less) 27.9 – Own decision about money 25.3 – Services govt. can't/won't provide 23.4 – Solve problems in world 17.5 – Same opportunity 16.4 – Support friends & family 13.8 – Diversity 6.0 – Ties across communities 4.6 – Other 2.3

Source: Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University,

The Common Theme?• What is the common theme among almost all

of these motivation?– They are based on emotion

• So if we, as fundraisers, are to impact donors and their giving, does it then hold that we must reach a donor’s heart?

The Philanthropic Revolution

• Based on Keynes’ (father of macroeconomics) suppositions for the future of the wealthy– Accumulation will no longer be an issue– They’ll begin to use wealth as an instrument– They’ll need a new “code of morals,” using wealth

for a deeper purpose: to advance one’s neighbor• Paul Schervish’s insights– Two decades of research on giving, wealth,

spirituality, and philanthropy

The 4 M’s of Wealth

• Money• Meaning • Motives• Moral biography

Money

• Exponential growth of wealth since 1950 – 9 recessions during that time

• Households with wealth greater than $25M– 115,000!

• Has created need for new code of morals re: money

Meaning

• In the last 50 years, we’ve moved from– From distributional philanthropy– To productive philanthropy

• We can now focus on societal issues– Aware of costs to address these issues– Have the money to address them– Know we need systemic change– Have the will to focus on these

• For the first time in history, we can create material solutions for our greatest societal needs

Motive

• Once the wealthy have solved the economic question for themselves/their families– Motives can be pure (non-tax motive)– Can examine how to use wealth as a tool to solve

problems

Moral Biography

• When donors figure out what they want for others, they can figure out what they want for themselves

• They can use wealth to obtain a deeper purpose in life

Rick Warren’s Concept• Survival – You are living from week to week,

looking forward to the weekends, vacations, and finally retirement.

• Success – Eating out, driving a nice car…looking good, feeling good, having the goods. At this level, people start thinking, “If I am so successful why I don’t feel satisfied?”

• Significance – You know your life matters. You know why you are alive. You know you have a purpose.

Let's Build Hope

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ASK STARTS WITH YOU

What’s Your Part?

Now What?

• If major donors’ are asking themselves these profound questions, then…– We as nonprofit professionals become part of

their life answer…part of their search for significance

– Thus we must understand the psychology of fundraising…the psychology of the ask

From the Donor’s Perspective• When we arrive (to the relationship OR the ask)– Donors are looking at US!• WE represent the charity• WE offer the bridge to the donor’s fulfillment of his/her

philanthropic dreams• WE receive the feedback, manage the objections, and

decide how to let the feedback shape our organizations• WE are a pivotal part of the process

Considering Our Part

• How do we ensure…– that we’re not blocking the process?– that we’re not negatively affecting the result?– that we’re representing our organization with

passion, purpose, and clarity?

Wherever you go…there you are!• To understand your potential fundraising

baggage, consider:– How do YOU feel about giving?– What are YOUR objections?– How do YOU feel about charitable

organizations? – How do YOU feel about your organization?– What do YOU think about the rich?– How do YOU feel about asking? About being

asked?

How do you carry yourself?• Clues to your feelings about fundraising• Dress• Speech• Comfort level with leadership• Can you share the feedback?• Can you stand up for your donors?

• Comfort level with donors• Do you build relationships easily?• Are you able to be authentic with donors?• Can you set boundaries when needed?

Do you experience “self limiting behaviors”?

• Fear and anxiety• Projections• Negative Self Talk• Avoidance

Fear

• Top 10 Fears in U.S.– Flying, heights, clowns, intimacy, death, rejection,

people, snakes, failure, and driving

Physical Symptoms

• Physical symptoms of fear and anxiety – Hyperventilation, increased heart rate– Constriction of the peripheral blood vessels

(blushing )– Increasing muscle tension, sweating– Alertness leading to sleep disturbance – “Butterflies”; increased adrenalin

Emotional Symptoms

• Emotional symptoms of fear and anxiety– Feelings of apprehension or dread– Trouble concentrating– Feeling tense and jumpy– Anticipating the worst– Irritability– Restlessness– Watching for signs of danger– Feeling like your mind’s gone blank

Projection• Psychological projection is a theory in which humans defend

themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others. – For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of

being rude.

• Projection tends to come to the fore in at times of crisis

Effect on Fundraising

• You can inadvertently project the donor’s response– I’m afraid you’ll say “no”– I don’t like my boss; I’ll project my distaste and

you’ll say “no”– I’m not sure this program will work; say “no”– I’ve asked for too much; say “no”

• According to Panas, we should not say “no” for anyone

Negative Self Talk • Humans are constantly thinking about and

interpreting situations in which we find ourselves• We have an internal voice inside our head that

determines how we perceive every situation• Includes our conscious thoughts as well as our

unconscious beliefs

Potential Negative Fundraising Self Talk

• I can’t do this!• They’ll say no• I’m bothering the donor when I call• I am not prepared enough• What if I’m asking for too much? Too little?• What if I look foolish?• What if he asks a question I can’t answer?

Avoidance

• The process of staying away from something or someone

Potential Fundraising Avoidance Behaviors

• Forgetting to call the donor• Becoming sick on the day of a big call• Not asking for the appointment• Losing messages• Always using e-mail• Over-cultivating• Writing grants, hosting events; Not developing a major gifts program

Let's Build Hope

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ASKHow Do We Overcome and Succeed?

Ask to Understand

• Consider donors’ motivation and ask these kinds of questions– Ask them what they’d like to accomplish with their

philanthropy • Both now and in the future

– Ask them to whom they give– Ask them why– Ask them how they feel about that giving– Ask them why they give to your charity…or why

they’re considering it– LISTEN!

Listen Well

• Ask good questions• Listen WITHOUT thinking about your next

statement. • Maintain eye contact• Sit still• Nod your head• Be attentive to non-verbal cues• Lean toward the speaker – sit up!• Repeat instructions and ask follow-up questions

Determine Motivation

• Donors will tell you their intrinsic motivation – If you ask probing questions– If you listen well– If you read between the lines

• You can build on it to shape your ask• You can use it to create the bridge– From their desires– To your organization’s needs– This is the premier job of a fundraiser

Acknowledge Your Stuff

• Consider your fundraising baggage– Be honest with yourself– Be sure you love your charity• Clean up messes• Makes amends• Create a space for dialogue

Acknowledge Your Stuff

• Look for self-limiting behaviors– Am I afraid or anxious?– Am I projecting?– Do I speak poorly to myself?– Am I avoiding donors or tasks?

• If you find some, ask for help– Counselor, friend, other fundraiser– Develop techniques to overcome

Let's Build Hope

And Remember…It’s a Journey