SEPTEMBER 2013 VOLUME 26 – ISSUE 3

www.montmorency. bowls.com.au EDITOR: Vera Lay e-mail: mbc4@optusnet.com.au bvlay@iprimus.com.au

THE OFFICIAL MONTMORENCY BOWLING CLUB INC. NEWSLETTER _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

REPORT FROM THE CHAIRPERSON OF THE BOARD

I would like to extend a warm welcome to everyone as we prepare ourselves for the new bowling season. I hope everyone is fit, healthy and rearing to go for what will be one of the most challenging seasons in our club’s history. The Opening Days were well attended with members in attendance aware of plans in place for an exciting season. A number of projects have been completed during the winter and I acknowledge those members who volunteered their time to ensure all projects were completed to the club’s high standard requirements. NEW BOTTOM GREEN: Based on reports received from members and the opportunity to personally have a practice on this new surface, it seems at this early stage, we may have installed one of our best synthetic green surfaces. Thanks must be extended to the supplier, Berry Bowling Systems Pty. Ltd. Special thanks and congratulations must go to David Whiteman and John Davidson for their efforts in the supervision of this project. On top of this, the organizing of clearing old base materials and the old underlay and carpet surface, completion of car park at rear, repairs to surrounds on both greens as well as replacement of paving in barbeque area. The club is truly thankful for their efforts. TREE LOPPING: Thanks to the Banyule Council for the removal of overhanging tree branches from adjoining properties. This work was a necessity due to possible safety requirements and reduction of matter falling from the trees on to our greens. Thanks to Alec Treacher for his determination in getting these works completed and we appreciate his efforts in getting the council to respond to his many requests. GARDEN UPGRADING: Thanks to Shirley and Graham Crapper for organizing the upgrading of a further section of the garden on the southern side of the top green. This now should complete all works on our gardens around the club and simply be down to upkeep. Good to see John Pope putting a lot of work into the maintenance of the gardens, but more people are needed in this area. A special thanks to Bill Harris and Jim Smith, who have both stepped down from the gardening group, for their contribution over the last couple of years.

Printing – courtesy of Steve Herbert MP State Member for Eltham

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Chairperson Report continued ……. NEW WEBSITE: Our new website is now up and running. Thanks are extended to John Leighton, ably assisted by Jeff Lander for all their work in getting this operating. At this stage I believe the old system is still in operation and will be until we are sure the new system achieves all that has been promised. BENDIGO COMMUNITY BANK SPONSORSHIP: Thanks must be extended to all those members who attended the presentation night organized by the Bendigo Community Bank, when a cheque for $15,000 was handed to club representatives, covering sponsorship to assist in the payment of our new bottom green. MONTY ON THE MOVE ………….. Chairperson – Rod Ward.

MERIMBULA SUNDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER 2 GAMES OF 11 ENDS

SPONSORED BY ANGOVE’S WINES

12.15 PM FOR 12.30 PM START

BRING A PARTY PLATE UNIFORM ATTIRE FOR BOWLERS

NON-BOWLERS WELCOME

Angove’s Wines are conducting a Wine Tasting Day where you can taste their range of wines and then BUY at good prices. The club will receive a percentage of your purchases, so the more you buy the more we benefit.

A GOOD DAY GUARANTEED

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PRESIDENT OF MEN’S SECTION REPORT

Firstly, thank you to the men’s section committee for all the hard work done during the off-season. This season looms as an exciting one with the new green completed and our successful season last year with two sides making the finals and our number 1 side earning promotion back to Division One. With a commitment from all of us to work hard on improving our game, we can expand on last year’s achievement. If everyone can improve 10% we will go a long way towards further success. Please support our bowls development team who will be developing training programs throughout the year and are also willing to assist any bowler who approaches them during the season for one on one coaching lessons. They are there to improve our game. A development squad program was run during the off-season and was well received by all participants. Thank you to all the coaches who assisted. Pennant Practice will commence on the Thursday before the first pennant game. I encourage everyone to participate in these sessions and also practice as often as you can. The more we can minimize our weaknesses the better we will be. The Pennant Selection committee has an unenviable task of selecting sides every week. Please make their jobs easier by accurately completing the report cards every week and include constructive comments on the back. The Committee themselves are limited to the number of bowlers they can observe and depend heavily on the reports from every bowler. For those bowlers who are moved up or down the ranks, the majority of the time it is because of the reports from your peers. If you have a grievance about your selection, discuss it with the match committee. Remember, they have 96 positions to fill every week, which often involves a lot of shuffling, whereas we as individuals only have ourselves to worry about. The Men’s Social committee has put in a lot of hard work ensuring the social bowls program and club championships are run smoothly. Please support them and the club by participating in the many opportunities offered during the year. The Easter Tournament is back to normal this year and offers good prize money for both days and is generously sponsored by Slocum Flooring, Elite Panels and Meridian Travel. There is also the Ray White 1000 that will be run over a 6 month period on 6 separate Thursdays. This will be a mixed tournament and will run on a format similar to Merimbula and will have both monthly prizes and healthy prizes at the end for the bowlers with the largest accumulated points for the six months. I encourage every bowler to participate in the club championships. Don’t be afraid to pit your skills against the top bowlers in the club, it is a good way to learn from the best. Check the notice board next to the bar for details. Entries for the Minor Singles Championship are open to any bowler who has not played more than eight games higher than Division 3 last season. I encourage all qualified players to participate. This is a good opportunity to “kick start” your trophy cabinet. I encourage you all to avail yourselves of the many opportunities offered by the club and have an enjoyable and successful season. CRAIG NEWBEGIN.

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PRESIDENT OF LADIES SECTION REPORT

Welcome back to everyone who has been away on holidays during the winter. In your absence we have had a couple of Social Days – one in July – our annual Soup Day and Fashion Parade with clothing from Postie Fashions, with our ladies as models. In August we played Krazy Whist with scones and cream for afternoon tea. Both days were well attended and all enjoyed a great day. On August 25th we had a gathering for a special lady. One of our founding members, Beryl Nelson, celebrated the wonderful milestone of ninety years. With some of her family and 36 Montmorency ladies, who supplied afternoon tea of cakes etc., it was likened to having “High Tea”. It is good to know that you are not forgotten, even when you are not able to be at the club regularly. Our Open Days were attended by 155 members in all, whom I am sure, had a very good day. Our Pennant season is almost upon us and from me, I wish all players a happy and successful season. Most of all enjoy the company and good bowling. MARGARET AUSTIN. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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CLUB UNIFORM

Contact David Hall for Men’s clothing and Judy Whiteman for Ladies’ clothing. If you haven’t purchased the latest vest or club jacket, maybe now is the time. It is more economical to place an order for several garments than a single one.

WHAT ARE LEXOPHILES?

VETERAN BADGES PRESENTED TO EDDIE SEYMOUR, BILL NEIL AND KEITH BANKS ON MEN’S SECTION OPENING DAY.

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MEN’S SECTION – SECRETARY’S REPORT

As we welcome Spring 2013 and the start of another competitive season, we find our Club in first-rate condition. With two top class surfaces to bowl on, we have everything to play for. The ladies (God bless them) in Mid-week Pennant step up to the mark in their Premier Division and Saturday Pennant will see our top side back in Division 1 again. All sides have their target for the season and at this time nothing is impossible to attain. Good bowling everyone. With seven sides entered in Midweek and six sides on Saturdays we will have more players than ever before playing Pennant each week. There are many clubs struggling for lady members, so being in the position to commit to such numbers is a feather in the caps of our recruiting group. A “Club” is a group of people who have similar interests, private, public, political, workers or philanthropic, etc. Whatever it may be for, it is the members who make the club what it is. This is so true of our Club. We have so many members who are committed to our club in what they do for it. Since its foundation, 50 years ago, and even before that, we have been fortunate to have such people and today is no exception. That is why, without any fear of contradiction, I can claim that we are the second best club in the world. I have no idea who the best one is or where they are, but we are right behind them. So members of Montmorency Bowling Club, you can all take a bow. Here is a less serious offering: A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the women of the house told her that they did not have a bath, although if she wanted one she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. “Monday is the best night, when my husband goes out to darts”. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the women filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass had no pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he got home. He did not believe her, so she said, “Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I will leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself”. So the following Monday, whilst the girl got undressed, the wife asked, “do you shave?” “No” replied the girl. “I’ve never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?” “Oh, yes”, said the woman and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department – very generously indeed. The girl finished her bath and went to bed. Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, “Did you see it?” “Yes” he said, “but why the hell did you have to show her yours?” “Why are you worried about that”, she said. “You have seen it often enough before”. “I know” he replied, “but the darts team hadn’t”. Cheers, keep up the good work. Alec Treacher.

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TUESDAY PENNANT COMMITTEE REPORT

The 2013/2014 season is about to commence and we hope to have a very happy and successful year. This year we will have seven pennant teams, which add up to 80 players every week.

One Premier side Two Division 1 sides (1 Ladies and 1 Open) Two Division 2 sides (1 Ladies and 1 Open)

One Division 4 Open One Division 5 (8 a side)

For the Division 5 team we have scheduled practice games with Kingsbury and Whittlesea before the season begins and pennant exercise days with Jeff Lander. We think these should be beneficial and would encourage as many pennant players as possible to attend. Please place your names on the list provided. It will also give you a chance to meet new players and practice with your prospective team players. Any chance to practice can only enhance our game. It was great to see so many attend Ladies Opening day and to see our flag raised and blowing in the wind. It would be great if this can be repeated in future years. Congratulations again to everyone for the performances of last season. We are also appreciative of all our umpires and measurers and we hope you are willing to be of assistance in our upcoming season. We know that we have your support and we will be doing the best we can to select the best teams for success. A club we recently visited had a notice which read: “IT IS EASIER TO GET JELLY TO STICK TO THE CEILING THAN IT IS TO SELECT THE PERFECT PENNANT TEAM”. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Elaine Greig and Judy Whiteman for their contributions on the Match Committee last season and we welcome Lyn Harford and Shirley Crapper for this coming season. GLENDA SWANN – Chairperson

BOWLS LOCKER SECURITY On many occasions the door to the bowls locker is left unsecured because the lock and pad bolt have not been properly put in place. Below is a photo of the lock with the bolt in the correct position. NOTE that the top of the bolt HAS to be in the UP position with the padlock through the metal loop. We have a substantial investment in bowls in the locker and not to have them properly secured is a travesty.

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SATURDAY MATCH COMMITTEE REPORT

Welcome to the 2013-2014 Saturday Pennant season. A series of practice games under full match conditions commenced on August 31st. Further games are scheduled: Saturday 7th Sept. 2 games at Doncaster and 1 game v. Doncaster at Montmorency. Saturday 14th Sept. 2 games at Donvale and 2 games at Hurstbridge. Saturday 21st Sept. 3 games v. Fitzroy at Montmorency (sausage sizzle after game) and 1 Game at Ivanhoe. Saturday 28th Sept. Grand Final day – Intra club game (optional) 9.30 – 12.30 Sunday 29th Sept. 1 game at Ivanhoe (sausage sizzle at Ivanhoe) and 1 game v. Ivanhoe at Montmorency. All games are at 12.30 for 1.00 start. There are sheets available now on the Match Committee Notice Board to place your name on if you intend to play in these games. Please do so by 5.00 pm on Wednesday to allow the Committee time to select sides for each week. If you can’t make it to the club call Bob Morgan to place your name on the lists. INFORMATION REGARDING SCORING CRITERIA: Card should be ticked IF: 1. A draw shot finishes within a mat’s length of the jack. 2. A position bowl to be within a mat’s length or matches Skip’s other instruction. 3. An “on shot” and/or drive should be successful in the Skip’s opinion (near misses do

not count). If you have any queries relating to any of the above please bring it to the attention of a member of the Match Committee. BOB MORGAN.

LADIES SOCIAL BOWLS COMMITTEE

Seventy members attended on Opening Day, all enjoyed the nibbles and sherries, followed by a game of bowls. Joyce Newman and Bev Sorensen, our Club Champion, rolled the first jack and bowl respectively. A lovely afternoon tea followed. Representatives from sponsors Bendigo Bank and Athletes Foot were also present. The club’s two social bowls committees have met together to arrange the running of the Ray White 1000 mixed triples competition, starting on Thursday 10th October at 10 am. Entries for the Ladies Pairs Competition close at 10am on 16th September, so get your entries in as soon as possible. The first two rounds will be held on Thursday 19th September. Club Singles commence on the 24th October, so keep an eye on the board for entry forms. VAL McINTYRE – Chairperson

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LADIES SECTION REPORT

Ladies Opening Day has come and gone and the new season has begun. It will be an exciting one with seven teams in Midweek Pennant, great social bowls days including the Ray White 1000. I would like to take the opportunity once again to ask those members rostered on for duty on a Saturday or special days to please turn up, or if you are unable to do it, arrange your own substitute. I am sure you will agree that the general committee does a great job with the catering on special days but it should not be left to them all the time. A list will go up on the notice board asking members to put their name on it if they are able to help in the kitchen on catered days. It would be greatly appreciated. If you have a notice you would like to put on the notice board, please see me, DO NOT JUST PIN IT UP. Spirit Travel will supply the buses again this year for pennant and they have not raised the price. A lot of thought has been given to the allocation of buses and in order to keep within our budget it may case a few moans and groans for those going to venues and having to self-drive. If we allocated more buses then the price to you all would rise quite a lot. Don’t forget to look at the various invitations from other clubs that are on the notice-board in the ladies room. Do think about playing at other clubs on those days to get experience on different surfaces. It is all good experience and great fun days. Keep you eye on our new website for all the up-to-date news re pennant and other events at the club. GALA Day is on the horizon – Tuesday 12th November. Items for the cent auction are desperately needed, so if you have any new goods or unwanted gifts you would like to donate, the ladies committee would be very grateful. Good luck for the season, practice well, good bowling and we may bring home another flag, or more. FAYE BRIGGS – Secretary.

CRAIG NEWBEGIN DEMONSTRATING HIS SKILLS WITH THE CLUB’S

DEFIBRILATOR

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RECRUITING REPORT

It is pleasing to see our recruiting still occurring through our colder weather. Welcome back to Robert Potts and Lyle Gates, who have rejoined us after some time away. Good to see you both back. We also welcome Tina Doyle who has now completed her coaching and is ready to go. Nerio Zini, who transferred from Tasmania has become a regular bowler with us already. Barry Riky who previously bowled at Whittlesea has joined us to bowl with his mother Lorraine, who is very happy to have him at our club. Marj Baussman has transferred from Eltham, she is a very experienced bowler and already knows several of our ladies. I am sure you will all enjoy many happy years bowling with us at Montmorency. We are now looking forward to our big OPEN DAY on SUNDAY 13th OCTOBER. As you know a lot of work goes into this day and many helpers are needed (and scone makers). Shortly we will be asking for some walkers to do some letterbox drops and I have confidence in our members to help out. The last two Open Days have been very successful and resulted in quite a few new members, so let’s do it again. And now a quote from Indira Gandhi: ‘There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition there”. Have a great season everyone. Jacqueline Ward – Recruitment Director.

******************MEMBER PROFILE*********************

MARGARET HALL – Primary schooling at Sunshine Girls School followed by Emily Macpherson Women’s College Melbourne. Later employed in the personel section of Ansett Airlines, Royal Children’s Hospital and Latrobe University, retiring in 1990. Early sports were tennis at Eltham and Kangaroo Ground clubs, basketball and then bowls, joining our club in 1996. Margaret has served on General, Social and Selection Committees including Ladies’ Section President 2005 – 2007. Margaret was our first lady Chairperson on the Board of Management. She has enjoyed her involvement with our club over 17 years and plans to continue, working around her son, two daughters and their families, not to forget the dog and husband Arthur.

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SPONSORS NEWS

There has been a lot happening so far this year starting with 20 club members attending a presentation from the BENDIGO COMMUNITY BANK, at Bridges Restaurant in Hurstbridge, when a cheque for a $15,000 sponsorship was handed to club officials. This has been allotted to help with the funding of our new green and covers the next five year period. THE OLD ENGLAND/BARKLYS HOTEL group have offered us a 15% discount on weekday meals if we show our current syllabus featuring their advertisement. THE ATHLETE’S FOOT donates heaps of prizes to cover six days of bowls. To receive $20 off ANY pair of shoes in the shop, present your Membership Card. DONUT KING on the lower level of Greensborough Plaza is a new sponsor and have given us vouchers for prizes. RAY WHITE REAL ESTATE – GREENSBOROUGH are the sponsor for THE RAY WHITE $1000 to be held over six Thursdays, for ladies and men. There will be normal daily prizes and at the conclusion of the six weeks the overall aggregate winners will share the $1000. ANGOVES WINES are sponsoring a Wine Tasting Day on Sunday 15th September on our Merimbula, further information in this newsletter. NON-BOWLERS will also be welcome for the tasting at a small fee. MONT/ELTHAM R.S.L. are to give grants every year instead of meal vouchers etc. Sounds like a good deal. SLOCUM FLOORING (The Byma Family) is sponsoring again this year with overall money of $2,500 to cover signage, club shirts and Easter Monday. Thanks again. VALLEY VISION is back again as sponsors giving us good quality sunglasses. MAX’S HAMBURGERS are new. Their burgers are great and they have a full license. RAIMONDI HAIR is still sponsoring and will be giving vouchers as prizes. WATSONIA OPTICAL have re-located to 67 Watsonia Road, Watsonia, previously Montmorency Optical.

12A BEACONSFIELD ROAD, BRIAR HILL

8 A.M. SATURDAY 7TH SEPTEMBER

GEOFF IS MOVING HOUSE AND NEEDS SOME HELP, SO ROCK UP BEFORE YOU VOTE IN THE ELECTION AND

GIVE HIM A HAND TO CLEAR HIS GEAR. YOU MIGHT GET A BARGAIN.

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COMPUTER NEWS

Spring cleaning time is here. A certain spouse wants all the accumulated computer equipment gone from the house, before she gets back from Turkey. So, an inventory of the equipment has been made, including desktops, monitors, keyboards, a scanner, print cartridges and other paraphernalia, and a “Last Chance” notice put on the notice board at the club. There may be something you would be interested in, so have a look. She comes home on 24 September, so it all must be gone by then. Whatever is left by 20 September will be taken to a computer recycling centre.

Have a problem…. Or a question? Ask a computer club member for assistance. Current computer club members are - Bruce Bell, Les Houghton, Jeff Lander, Graham Polanski, Michael Sinclair, John Worth, and Phil Wynn. Remember, a small charge may apply for services rendered, but 100% of monies collected go to the club. And the charges are SMALL. A gold coin would suffice for simple answer that can be provided immediately. Solving more difficult problems may cost $5 to $20. This is significantly cheaper and quicker than equivalent commercial services. Last year, $283 was raised and presented to the Board of Management. AND… any service provided to club members in performing their duties for the club do not attract a charge!! (Do you have any computer expertise? Is there some way you could contribute to the computer club? Ask any of the members about joining. Limited places are available.)

…………………..A LEXOPHILE IS A LOVER OF WORDS………………….

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead give-away. A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Than it hit me.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

A calendar’s days are numbered. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.

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MBC SPONSORS – PLEASE SUPPORT THEM WHEN POSSIBLE

Angoves Wines Athletes Foot Ali Bakal 9439 3866 Barkleys Hotel 9459 1166 Briar Hill Fish & Chips 9435 6502 Bendigo Bank 9439 0188 Cannon Toyota 9459 3277 Cartridge World 9432 0611 Cherry Red Café 9435 4291 Comfy Home 9435 7911 Contours 9435 9449 Darren Jones 9432 2544 DV Prostate Support Grp. 9431 3154 Doncaster Sporting Gear 9848 7387 Donut King 9434 4449 Delta Holidays 8682 9481 Echo Party Goods 9434 1602 Elite Panels 9439 4225 Ern Jensen 9480 1477 Eltham Home Timb & H/W 9439 5533 Espresso 3094 9435 9402 Global Pizza 9434 5088 Gourmet Butchers 9434 3570 Grand Pacific Tours 9809 2124 GWS Accountants 9434 6017 Heidelberg Mitsubishi 9458 1222 Howard Mackey Motors 9435 1097 Jaktar Electrics 0412247691

Le Pine Funerals 9434 1666 Lower Plenty Hotel 9435 1722 McDonalds Eltham 9431 2577 Max’s Hamburger Bar 9435 2332 Melbourne Bowls Centre 9488 0478 Meridian Travel 9459 4933 Monty Appliance Repairs 9439 6241 Mont Eltham Auto 9435 1198 Montiflora Florist 9434 2382 Watsonia Optical 9432 7264 Montmorency RSL 9432 3377 Monty Bakehouse 9435 2316 Monty Foodworks 9435 1750 Monty Pharmacy 9435 1729 Mont. Service Centre 9439 3444 Morrison Kleeman 9431 2444 Mudd Café 9434 1211 Old England Hotel 9459 1166 Raimondi Hair & Day Spa 9439 3970 Ray White 9432 7000 Sontaya 9467 9991 Slocum Flooring 9439 6066 Springthorpe Ret. Village 9455 2011 Toy World 9432 7166 Ultratune 9432 1333 Valley Vision 9431 0347 Whitings Advisors 9435 2766

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YARRA REGIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS

Information regarding the championships is on the club notice board for the Fours, Over 60 Singles, Pairs, Over 60 Pairs, Novice Singles, Under 25’s, Singles and Triples. There are respective closing dates for each event, the first being 30th September. If you require an entry form or any further information call Faye Briggs. Registration is also through Faye. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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MONTMORENCY BOWLING CLUB – MORE THAN JUST BOWLING

Lady members. Your men, who don’t bowl, should come under the men’s caring umbrella. Many are known to male members and may appreciate the contact. Let Stephen Fox know if we can help. Regular Social activities: Men’s first Friday of the month lunch. 1200 at Montmorency Eltham RSL. Ask Stephen Fox for information All other events for all members and their partners: Every Friday morning at 1000 several members meet for a coffee at Donut King, Greensborough Centre. Ask the Allison or Eric Crawshaw for information. Golf Tuesday mornings. See Phil Clements. Every Tuesday Night. Dinner at the Greensborough RSL or Lower Plenty Hotel, Marilyn Millar for bookings. Friday at the Fillums. Every Friday a.m. Foxy would welcome film suggestions. Of course every Friday 1630 to 1730 Happy hour and Bellie’s bonanza. Great fun. And plenty of meat and big $$$$$ to be won. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

M I X E D G A L A D A Y

TUESDAY 12TH NOVEMBER – 9.30 MORNING TEA – 10.30 BOWLS

COME AND JOIN US ON THIS GREAT DAY

DONATIONS FOR THE CENT AUCTION, PLANTS, CAKES, PRESERVES, MYSTERY BOTTLES (WRAPPED) AND OTHER ITEMS FOR OUR BIG

RAFFLE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED