The Name Game – An Alphabet Legacy

Chapter 14 – Hooker Without a Heart of Gold

When I last left off, generation H heiress Hooker Name was pregnant.

Hooker: Why can’t we ever see ourselves in this mirror?

Because I play on a laptop from 2011 that needs to be plugged in constantly, doesn’t connect to the Internet, and overheats. Also, the laptop I use to write and upload the chapters doesn’t have a CD drive so I can’t play on it.

Shea finds a job in his dream career of gaming.

Shea: I’ve always wanted to do it so I can stay at home to work.

HAHAHA… you wish.

Oh don’t tell me your curly hair has been a wig this whole time.

Hooker: More like a merkin.

Shea: Why is that ghost making our bed for us after woohooing?

Hooker: I think that’s my great-grandmother…

Ek: I was born in October 2016. It’s only December OF THE SAME YEAR. Most legacy sim get to survive a couple months but no… Rex thinks he can just upload chapters without any dialogue.

Hey! Generation I, which by the way is the tenth generation, is about to be born. Very few alphabet legacies ever make it this far. Be grateful I’m lazy.

It’s a girl! With blonde hair!

Her name is Idoni Name. She’s a virgo (8/0/10/3/5). Her name is Italian for fit/suitable.

Of course, we need at least two more kids. Which I say all the time because it’s true.

Stupid alphabet legacy rules. Even though I don’t follow the one about getting people to vote for the heir. Personally, I think that even a day takes too much time away from playing.

Shea: Can you leave? Do you want more kids in the house or not?

Did a little update on the items in the house.

Shea: I literally see no difference.

Excuse you, but are you trying to be the new Yusun? How rude.

Oh no… her merkin fell off.

Idoni becomes a toddler.

Hooker: She looks nothing like me.

Veronika: What the hell, Shea?

Shea: I’m taking out my anger. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have two bolts on both you and your daughter.

Veronika: Guo, do something.

Guo: …

Veronika: GUO!

Guo: … I still can’t believe I went bald.

Veronika: You know I’m programmed via CAS to have three bolts with you no matter what.

…

…

…

Shea: Yeah, show that ass, momma… in law.

It’s a boy! This is Ishikawa Name. He’s a Sagittarius (8/1/10/10/3). His name is Japanese for stone river/stream.

One more…

Shea: Stop it? It’s difficult enough thinking about Veronika while I do this.

I… uh… Hooker, do you hear this?

Hooker: I choose to ignore it.

Idoni grows up into ugly clothes. Shame on her.

Idoni: I’m like 8 years old.

Ishikawa becomes a toddler.

And Hooker shows the signs of pregnancy.

Hooker: What does my mom have on me? Why do townies like CAS creations so much?

Idoni gets a makeover and Ishikawa learns to walk.

Idoni: Nana, what’s a CAS?

Veronika: CAS is kind of like a factory where sims are made that don’t have to have the same facial structure as townies. For example, no one else has my nose and I was the first one in this neighbourhood to have my exact skintone. I was also made directly by Rex to be the perfect spouse for your grandfather.

Idoni: Will Rex do the same for me?

Veronika: Depends on how bored he is. He doesn’t invest much into his challenges anymore.

Huh… you’d think at least one of these kids would have the Parsimonious skintone. This girl is Innocenti Name. She’s a Sagittarius (6/0/10/6/5). Her name is Italian for innocent…i…

Idoni: No, don’t throw me over the edge, mom!

Hooker: What do you think this is, a 2005 sims 2 exchange fictional story? If I were to throw you off of the balcony, I would use a pose box to do it.

Idoni: This got really dark. And pointed.

Ishikawa becomes a child.

Hooker: How far would he go if I threw him?

I don’t have any pose boxes so you can forget that idea.

Shea: Do you think we’re good parents?

Hooker: Well, you get in fights with my mother because you are sexually frustrated and I threaten to murder the children… so…

Shea: So you’re saying we should have another.

Hooker: I was thinking of having 10.

Looks like Shea’s sexual frustration is over… unless he’s into ghosts. Damn me for not recording the turn-ons and offs anymore!

Guo: I’m still upset about my hair.

RIP Veronika.

Well well well.. It looks like Innocenti is appropriating culture. Not so innocent now, are we?

Hooker: Tears, Innocenti? Really, after what you did?

Guo: She’s just a toddler. She didn’t know which hairstyle to pick.

Hooker: HAH! That’s what she wants you to believe.

Innocenti: Goo gah?

Shea reaches the top of the gamer career and quits right after because this family has like $250 000 that is never used.

Hooker: Now that you’re unemployed, how’s about we try and solve all of our problems with another baby.

Shea: Is that a question?

Hooker: I didn’t end my sentence with a question mark.

Ishikawa: Why does Idoni get to play outside while I’m stuck doing homework?

Guo: Because you rolled the want to learn how to do homework. Do you not want a platinum or even gold aspiration?

Hooker: Guess what, Innocenti? Mommy’s pregnant with another baby. That means I get to replace you.

Innocenti: Gah?

Hooker: There’s no place for cultural appropriators in my family. Especially coming from a girl named after innocence. Now if you rolled the want to eat spaghetti, that would be a different story.

Innocenti: I bad.

No honey, you just did what hundreds of babies in my game did before you and grew up in Nouk recolours.

Innocenti: Mommy doesn’t like me.

Shea: Do you really think this baby will solve all of our problems?

Hooker: I’m a family sim. It’s not my job to think Mr. “I’m A Knowledge Sim.”

Innocenti grows up.

Hooker: Now mommy can say she loves you.

This was followed by Idoni becoming a teenager, rolling popularity, and wanting twenty best friends.

Hooker: Like that’ll be accomplished. I don’t think there are even twenty townies in the neighbourhood.

You are such a buzzkill of a mother.

The final baby of generation I! This is Ivanov Name. He’s a virgo (9/1/10/6/3). Is name is Russian for son of Ivan.

Idoni: Do you want to be my best friend?

Shea S: That makes you sound…

Idoni: A bit like a robot? Sure, but I don’t need to really be your friend. Just say we are so it counts toward my lifetime want. It’ll be like being facebook friends. Or for the kids today, like being mutuals on Instagram.

Guo: Who are these kids?

Idoni: Well that one in the background is Ishikawa. These two are just some lifetime want fodder.

Guo: Do your parents ever take care of you?

*from upstairs*

Hooker: He helped our marriage. We’re good parents now!

Ivanov grows into toddlerhood.

A day later, Ishikawa becomes a teenager. He rolls pleasure and wants to be a gamer.

Innocenti: Someone please save me from this family.

Ivanov: Where is real father, Ivan?

Hooker: It’s just a name. Shea is your real father.

Ivanov: Лежит! You would not sully great name of father Ivan. Is not in your nature.

Ivanov becomes a child.

Ivanov: I will find real father. Even if is last thing I do…

Just a quick shot of the house at the moment. There’s a new backyard area, by the way…. I think I took this photo by mistake and honestly am just trying to justify it. That’s kind of my thing.

Idoni: Rodney, we’re never going to get married. That’s the truth. But right now, I need someone to be want fodder.

Rodney: Wow… I’m pretty sure your mom called me ugly a generation ago. Luckily townies forget everything eventually.

Noelle: Ew… as if I would ever kiss a legacy sim.

Um…

Oh no… Guo is dying. RIP my generation G heir. You’ve only technically been around for the past week or so, but you made for a good choice after your parents died.

Innocenti becomes a teenager and rolls romance. She wants to woohoo twenty sims. Probably because of the psychological damage caused by her mother.

Innocenti: Hey hot stuff-

Noelle: Ew… I’m not down for any legacy sim shenanigans.

Innocenti: Rodney…

Idoni: First of all, this is my man. Secondly, aren’t you a lesbian?

Rodney: Who cares? I have two girls all over me this generation. I don’t need that nose job after all.

Idoni: Did you say something, want fodder? God I can’t wait for my CAS husband to show up.

And there you have it. A chapter with actual dialogue. Oh, and Innocenti is bi. Easiest way to guarantee the twenty woohoos since she will be the heir. Or will it be Idoni, who is just biding her time with townie boys until I make her a perfect match? Or will it be Ishikawa, who will be in the background throughout his entire heirship? Or maybe even Ivanov, who is on the hunt for Ivan his “real dad?” One things for certain, this legacy is still roughly 36% over.