the ideal marriage - how husbands & wives should treat one another

THE IDEAL THE IDEAL MARRIAGE - MARRIAGE -

HOW HUSBANDS HOW HUSBANDS & WIVES & WIVES

SHOULD TREAT SHOULD TREAT ONE ANOTHERONE ANOTHER

Ephesians 5:22-24Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.submit to their husbands in everything.


Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.himself.


After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the churchthe church for we are members of his body. for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”the two will become one flesh.” This is a This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her himself, and the wife must respect her husband.husband.

The Context of Ancient SocietyThe Context of Ancient Society

In Jewish CultureIn Jewish CultureDeuteronomy 24:1 - Deuteronomy 24:1 - If a man marries a woman If a man marries a woman

who becomes displeasing to him who becomes displeasing to him because because he finds something indecent about herhe finds something indecent about her, and , and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house . . . to her and sends her from his house . . .


In Roman CultureIn Roman Culture


In Greek CultureIn Greek Culture


In Today’s CultureIn Today’s Culture

1. No fault divorce1. No fault divorce

2. Cohabitation2. Cohabitation

3. Liberal media3. Liberal media

4. 49.7% divorce rate4. 49.7% divorce rate

5. Gays - legal relationships5. Gays - legal relationships


In Today’s CultureIn Today’s Culture

6. Moslems trying to make Sharia 6. Moslems trying to make Sharia Law binding in American com-Law binding in American com-munities!munities!

Women would become virtual slaves!Women would become virtual slaves!

If our world ever needed direction If our world ever needed direction about how to succeed in marriageabout how to succeed in marriage

It’s today!It’s today!

I. How are Husbands Supposed to I. How are Husbands Supposed to Treat Their Wives? Treat Their Wives? - v25-33- v25-33

A. The same way Lord Jesus treats A. The same way Lord Jesus treats His His churchchurch..

How does the Lord treat His church?How does the Lord treat His church?

I. How are Husbands Supposed to Treat Their Wives? I. How are Husbands Supposed to Treat Their Wives?

A. How does the Lord treat His A. How does the Lord treat His church?church?

1. He 1. He lovedloved her. her.Husbands, love your wives, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved just as Christ loved

the churchthe church and gave himself up for her. - and gave himself up for her. - v25v25



1. He 1. He lovedloved her. her.Husbands, love your wives, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved just as Christ loved

the churchthe church and gave himself up for her. - and gave himself up for her. - v25v25

Luke 9:51 - As the time approached for him to Luke 9:51 - As the time approached for him to be taken up be taken up to heaven, Jesus to heaven, Jesus resolutely resolutely set out for Jerusalemset out for Jerusalem..



1. He 1. He lovedloved her. her.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved

the church and the church and gave himself upgave himself up for her. - for her. - v25v25

GaveGave ( (παραδίδωμιπαραδίδωμι) = hand ) = hand yourself over.yourself over.



2. He made her 2. He made her holyholy... . . . . . to make her holyto make her holy, cleansing her by the , cleansing her by the

washing with water through the word . . . - washing with water through the word . . . - v26v26



2. He made her 2. He made her holyholy... . . to make her holy, cleansing her by the . . . to make her holy, cleansing her by the

washing with water through the wordwashing with water through the word . . . - . . . - v26v26

John 3:5 - . . . no one can enter the kingdom of John 3:5 - . . . no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is God unless he is born of water and the born of water and the SpiritSpirit..



3. He presented her 3. He presented her radiantradiant... . . and . . . and to present her to himself as a radiant to present her to himself as a radiant

churchchurch, without stain or wrinkle or any other , without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. - v27blemish, but holy and blameless. - v27

RadiantRadiant ( (ἔνδοξοςἔνδοξος) = glorified, ) = glorified, held in honor.held in honor.



4. How does the Lord feed & care 4. How does the Lord feed & care for His church?for His church?

. . . but he . . . but he feeds and caresfeeds and cares for it, just as Christ for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of does the church — for we are members of his body. - v29-30his body. - v29-30

By providing His Holy Spirit!By providing His Holy Spirit!


B. How is a husband to treat his B. How is a husband to treat his wife?wife?

Assertively!Assertively!



1. A woman’s basic need is to be 1. A woman’s basic need is to be loved biblically.loved biblically.



1. A woman’s basic need is to be 1. A woman’s basic need is to be loved biblically.loved biblically.

a. a. LoveLove ( (ἀγαπάωἀγαπάω) = ) = giving giving because there’s because there’s a need.a need.



2. Love her 2. Love her sacrificiallysacrificially..Husbands, love your wives, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ just as Christ loved loved

the church and the church and gave himself up for hergave himself up for her. - . - v25v25



3. Love her 3. Love her purelypurely... . . to make her holy, . . . to make her holy, cleansing her by the cleansing her by the

washing with waterwashing with water through the word. - v26 through the word. - v26



4. Love her 4. Love her caringlycaringly..In this same way, husbands ought to love their In this same way, husbands ought to love their

wives as their own bodies. He who loves wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-2929


B. How is a husband to treat his wife?B. How is a husband to treat his wife?

4. Love her 4. Love her caringlycaringly..In this same way, husbands In this same way, husbands oughtought to love their to love their

wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-29just as Christ does the church. - v28-29

OughtOught ( (ὀφείλωὀφείλω) = to owe, be in ) = to owe, be in debt.debt.




wives wives as their own bodiesas their own bodies. He who loves . He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he hated his own body, but he feedsfeeds and and carescares for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-2929



4. Love her 4. Love her caringlycaringly..In this same way, In this same way, husbands ought to love their husbands ought to love their

wives as their own bodies. He who loves wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himselfhis wife loves himself. After all, no one ever . After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-2929




wives as their own bodies. He who loves wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and hated his own body, but he feeds and carescares for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-for it, just as Christ does the church. - v28-2929

CareCare ( (θάλπωθάλπω) = to cherish.) = to cherish.



5. Love her 5. Love her unconditionallyunconditionally..““For this reason a man will leave his father and For this reason a man will leave his father and

mother and be united to his wife, and the mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” - v31two will become one flesh.” - v31




mother and be united to his wife, mother and be united to his wife, and the and the two will become one fleshtwo will become one flesh.” - Genesis 2:24.” - Genesis 2:24

a. A married couple is con-a. A married couple is con-sidered by God as sidered by God as oneone

unitunit..




mother and be mother and be unitedunited to his wife, and the to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” - v31two will become one flesh.” - v31

b. b. UnitedUnited ((προσκολλάωπροσκολλάω) = ) = cleave, glue yourself.cleave, glue yourself.


I. How are Husbands Supposed to I. How are Husbands Supposed to Treat Their Wives? Treat Their Wives? - v25-33- v25-33

II. How are Wives Supposed to II. How are Wives Supposed to Respond to Their Husbands? Respond to Their Husbands? - v22-- v22-2424

A. The same as the way the church A. The same as the way the church responds to Lord Jesus.responds to Lord Jesus.

How does the church respondHow does the church respond

to Lord Jesus?to Lord Jesus?

II. II. How are Wives Supposed to Respond to Their How are Wives Supposed to Respond to Their Husbands?Husbands?

A. How does the church respond to A. How does the church respond to Lord Jesus?Lord Jesus?

1. To the church, Jesus is 1. To the church, Jesus is LordLord..For the husband is the head of the wife as For the husband is the head of the wife as

Christ is the head of the churchChrist is the head of the church, his body, , his body, of which he is the Savior. - v23of which he is the Savior. - v23


A. How does the church respond to A. How does the church respond to Lord Jesus?Lord Jesus?

1. To the church, Jesus is 1. To the church, Jesus is LordLord..For the husband is the head of the wife as For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ Christ

is the head of the churchis the head of the church, his body, of which , his body, of which he is the Savior. - v23he is the Savior. - v23

2. As church members, we govern 2. As church members, we govern our lives by what His Bible our lives by what His Bible

says!says!


B. How is the wife to treat her B. How is the wife to treat her husband?husband?



1. The husband’s basic need from 1. The husband’s basic need from his wife is respect.his wife is respect.



1. The husband’s basic need from 1. The husband’s basic need from his wife is respect.his wife is respect.

Women do not naturally do this!Women do not naturally do this!



3. Men have been given authority, 3. Men have been given authority, but also but also responsibilityresponsibility..



3. Men have been given authority, 3. Men have been given authority, but also but also responsibilityresponsibility..

Genesis 1:28 - Genesis 1:28 - RuleRule over the fish of the sea and over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”creature that moves on the ground.”

Genesis 2:18 - The LORD God said, “It is not Genesis 2:18 - The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. good for the man to be alone. I will make a I will make a helper suitable for himhelper suitable for him.” .”



4. 4. SubmitSubmit ( (ὑποτάσσωὑποτάσσω) = to ) = to rank rank yourself under, to obey. yourself under, to obey. Fit in Fit in with your husband’s with your husband’s plans.plans.

Wives, Wives, submitsubmit to your husbands as to the Lord. to your husbands as to the Lord. - v22- v22



4. 4. SubmitSubmit ( (ὑποτάσσωὑποτάσσω) = to ) = to rank rank yourself under, to obey.yourself under, to obey.

Wives, Wives, submitsubmit to your husbands as to the Lord. to your husbands as to the Lord. - v22- v22

5. Submission is natural to a 5. Submission is natural to a biblically loving husband.biblically loving husband.


6. It may have to come as an act 6. It may have to come as an act of faith.of faith.

I Pet 3:1-3 - Wives, in the same way be I Pet 3:1-3 - Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands submissive to your husbands so that, if so that, if any of them do not believe the word, any of them do not believe the word, they they may be won over without words by the may be won over without words by the behavior of their wivesbehavior of their wives, when they see the , when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.


6. It may have to come as an act 6. It may have to come as an act of faith.of faith.

I Pet 3:4-6 - Instead, it should be that of your I Pet 3:4-6 - Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. God’s sight. For this is the way the holy For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own They were submissive to their own husbands, husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her masterAbraham and called him her master..


If modern day husbands & wives If modern day husbands & wives would just fit themselves into this would just fit themselves into this pattern, they would have longer & pattern, they would have longer & happier marriages!happier marriages!

Let’s do this God’s way & then Let’s do this God’s way & then expect His blessing!expect His blessing!

the ideal marriage - how husbands & wives should treat one another

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