the bridge session2

7/30/2019 The Bridge Session2

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Wednesday, 28 August 13



Characteristics of Christian Leadership

With due credit to: John Piper, Jack Hayford, J Oswald Sanders,

Bob Gordon…and a few others




• What do you think are theessential characteristics of a

leader in the Kingdom of God?

• What should a man of God

look like in the way he / shelives their life each day?




1. What is this?




1. What is this?Change is here to stay!




Watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE



1. Restless

Leaders know the world ischanging rapidly - they

know they need tounderstand change andwhere to adapt because of

change, where to adoptnew things and where toignore it (due to its lack of relevance to their arena).




• Spiritual leaders have a holydiscontentment with the status quo

• They are unhappy to let things

remain the same• Non-leaders have inertia

• Leaders want change, movement,

growth - new dimensions of ministry




• Can you think of

biblical examplesof restless people?

• Are there any

specifically giftedpeople whowould be less or

more likely toaccept / welcomechange?




Rogers Bell Curve

Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low

• This is called the Rogers Bell Curve andit represents the rate of taking up new

ideas / innovations within a “typical”society / group

• Look at it and consider what if any are

the implications for church leaders




Rogers Bell Curve

Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low




Philippians 3

12Not that I have already obtained all this, orhave already been made perfect, but I press onto take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took

hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not considermyself yet to have taken hold of it. But onething I do: Forgetting what is behind and

straining toward what is ahead, 14I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which Godhas called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.




2...




2. Optimistic

• Spiritual leaders areoptimistic because God isin control

• Their confidence is basedupon the goodness of Godmanifested in Jesus Christ

• Without optimismrestlessness becomes

despairWednesday, 28 August 13



2. Optimistic

• Spiritual leaders areoptimistic because God isin control

• Their confidence is basedupon the goodness of Godmanifested in Jesus Christ

• Without optimismrestlessness becomes

despair

What Biblical verses

and situations showus the need to be

optimistic due toGod’s sovereignty?




Romans 8

28And we know that in all things God

works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose...32, He who did not spare his

own Son, but gave him up for us all—

how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?




3. Intense




3. Intense

• Romans 12:8 …if your gift isleadership, “do it with zeal.”




3. Intense


• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in

zeal, boil in the spirit!”




3. Intense


• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in

zeal, boil in the spirit!”

• Jesus cleansing the temple, "Zeal foryour house has consumed me" John

2:17




Jonathan Edwardswrote a list of approx.seventy resolutions.

One of which says:

“To live with all

my might while Ilive.”




Jonathan Edwardswrote a list of approx.seventy resolutions.

One of which says:

“To live with all

my might while Ilive.”

1. Resolved, That I will do whatsoever I think to be most

to the glory of God, and my own good, profit, and

pleasure, in the whole of my duration; without anyconsideration of the time, whether now, or never so

many myriads of ages hence. Resolved, to do whatever I

think to be my duty, and most for the good andadvantage of mankind in general. Resolved, so to do,

whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and

how great soever.

2. Resolved, To be continually endeavouring to find out

some new contrivance and invention to promote the

forementioned things.




Count Zinzendorf of theMoravians said,

“I have one passion.It is He and He

alone.”




“If I had 1,000lives, I'd give

them all for China”

Hudson Taylor

(1832-1905)




“Expectgreat thingsfrom God;

attemptgreat things

for God”

William Carey




4...




4. Self-controlled

• Gal. 5:23 – a fruit of the Spirit not merewillpower

• Allowing the power of God to masteryour emotions, appetites etc.

• Master of our desires and drives

• Spiritual leaders ruthlessly track down bad habits and break them by thepower of the Spirit




1 Cor. 6:12,

“Everything is permissible for

me”—but not everything isbeneficial. “Everything is

permissible for me”—but I will not

be mastered by anything.”




•Jeremiah 18 I went

down to the potter's

house, and I saw him

working at the wheel. 4

But the pot he wasshaping from the clay was

marred in his hands; so

the potter formed it intoanother pot, shaping it as

seemed best to him.




• Examine your life to seewhether you are enslaved by

leisure: television, alcohol,

coffee, cricket, computer games:people, crises, meetings, your

work and call

• 1 Cor. 9:25ff




• A work matrix

developed by

StephenCovey - usedto assess and

prioritisework




5...




5. Thick-skinned

• In leading others you will becriticised

• You cannot aim to please others andseek their approval. Gal 1:10

• If criticism disables us, we will never

make it as spiritual leaders - wemight be hurt, but must not be

disabled by it




•Criticism is one of Satan's favouriteweapons to try to geteffective Christian

leaders to quit•Being thick skinneddoes not mean being

closed to legitimatecriticism - humbly acceptand apply just criticism




Look for the truth in every

criticism that comes your way

Criticism can either be just orunjust, objective or unfounded –

the motive behind the criticism

is almost immaterial, your

response is most important




1. Consider the Source

What is their motivation for criticising?Constructive criticism (loving) or habitualcomplaining.

Experience will help you discern thedifference. Are they people who tear

down rather than build up?Matthew 12.34...out of the overflow of the

heart the mouth speaks




2. Consider the Observation

See beyond and consider the truth behind the criticism

Will it develop my leadership style orsharpen my effectiveness as a leader?

Proverbs 12.1 speaks plainly:"…he who hates correction is stupid."




3. Practice Forgiveness

Don’t hit back at the person defending

yourself or by reciprocating with evenharsher criticism.

Exercise grace, mercy and forgiveness




6...




6. Energetic

• Lazy people cannot be leaders

• Eph. 5:16 making the best use of the

time, because the days are evil.• 1 Cor. 15:58, Therefore, my dear

brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move

you. Always give yourselves fully to thework of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain




• ‘The world is run by tired men’

• Learn to live with pressure – such

as deadlines, demands for yourtime

• Don’t waste time in excess leisure




Promises like Matt. 11:28 and Php 4:7,

Isaiah 64:4 prevent pressure becominga worry

28 Come to me, all who labour and are heavy

laden, and I will give you rest...7 And the peaceof God,which surpasses all understanding, will

guard your hearts and your minds in Christ

Jesus...From of old no one has heard or perceivedby the ear, no eye has seen a God besides

you, who acts for those who wait for him.




7...




7. A hard thinker

• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking bemature!" 1 Cor. 14:20

• It is not easy to be a leader of peoplewho can outthink you!

• A leader must be one who, when hesees a set of circumstances, thinksabout it

Who do you think of asthe “great thinkers” in the

Bible?

What do you think ofmost?




7. A hard thinker

• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking bemature!" 1 Cor. 14:20

• It is not easy to be a leader of peoplewho can outthink you!

• A leader must be one who, when hesees a set of circumstances, thinksabout it




• Leaders are critical (analytical) -not gullible or faddish or

trendy, weighing things andconsidering pros and cons

• Having a significant rationalefor the decisions that he makes




• What are the current areas affectingsociety that you need to be thinking

about as a church leader

• What changes are most affecting the

day-to-day lives of your people?• In what areas do you as a pastor need

to be thinking ahead of your people?

• What should you think about politics,the price of onions, the LOC inKashmir?


8 A ti l t k l l



8. Articulate - speak clearly and well

• ar·tic·u·late • (of a person or a person's words)

Having or showing the ability tospeak fluently and coherently.

• Express (an idea or feeling) fluentlyand coherently

• Stating your thoughts clearly




• Paul persuaded men 2 Cor. 5:11• Colossians 4:4 Paul asked the people

to pray for him, “that I might make it

clear , as I ought to speak.”• Do you complete sentences?

• Is there a progression in yourdiscussion / argument




9...




9. Able to Teach

1 Timothy 3:2 -

anyone who aspiresto the office of

overseer in the

church should beable to teach

Who was the

best teacher

you ever had?

What made

them a good

teacher?




9. Able to Teach

1 Timothy 3:2 -

anyone who aspiresto the office of

overseer in the

church should beable to teach


Wh t i d



• What is a good

teacher? A few

suggestions from JohnPiper

• Asks himself hard

questions , works

through to answers,

frames provocative

questions for his

learners to stimulate

their thinking




•Sees the problems

learners will have with his

subject matter and

encourages them and gets

them over the humps of discouragement

•Foresees objections and

thinks them through sothat he can answer them

intelligently




•Explains hard thingsin terms that are clear

•Is concrete , not

abstract, specific, not

general, precise, not

vague, vulnerable, not

evasive




•Asks, "So what?" –

relating all issues /

discoveries to life

•Aims for

transformation of life




Focus on what Scripture hasto say, not your own ideas

and opinions.And allow the Holy Spirit to

make application according to

each members need




Maintain an atmosphere of love

and acceptance.

Leads to open discussion.

Never put down a person’scomments or contributions

Ask simple, clear, open-endedquestions.




10...




10. A Good Judge of Character

• Jesus knew the hearts of men Jn. 2:24,

But Jesus would not entrust himself to

them, for he knew all men. He did not needman’s testimony about man, for he knew

what was in a man.

• Jesus urged us to be perceptive inassessing others Matt. 7:15ff




15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to

you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they areferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you willrecognize them. Do people pick grapes fromthornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise

every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear badfruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cutdown and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by theirfruit you will recognize them.




21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only hewho does the will of my Father who is inheaven. 22Many will say to me on that day,

'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,and in your name drive out demons andperform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them

plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, youevildoers!'


h h



• Know who is fit for what kind of work

• Detect potential

• Quickly hear the echoes of pride and

hypocrisy and worldliness

• Is careful not to pigeonhole people


11. ??



11. ??




11. Tactful - sensitive,

understanding thoughtful

• Colossians 4:5, 6, Be wise in the way you

act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation

be always full of grace, seasoned with salt,

so that you may know how to answereveryone.




•Proverbs 25:11- A word

aptly spoken is like apples of

gold in settings of silver.

•Tact wins peoples

confidence•Do people hang their

heads in embarrassment

at the inappropriate orinsensitive things you say

or do?




•Tact is needed in

confrontation – are you

unwilling to approach a

person who needs

correction or rebuke?•There is a big difference

between saying, "Your

foot is too big for thisshoe" and "This shoe is too

small for your foot"


12 ??



12. ??


12 Th l i ll O i t d



12. Theologically Oriented

• God centred focussed - all of life has to

do with God

• Colossians 3:17• 1 Corinthians 2:16

• If we are to lead people to see and reflect

God's glory, we must think theologically

about everything


k d h f ll h



• Work toward a synthesis of all things -

see how things fit together…war sports,

pornography, birthdays, literature, spacetravel, disease etc.

• How do they relate to God and hispurposes?

• Knows about God and his ways - so that

things generally fit into a pattern andmake sense even when they are

unpleasant - Eph 5:10

• I worship in a church that announces birthdays and wedding anniversaries each

week during the service - what is a biblical

perspective on this ‘celebration’• Does God have any interest in sport? Does

he care if India wins the cricket world

cup? Should we?


W k d h f ll h



• Work toward a synthesis of all things -

see how things fit together…war sports,

pornography, birthdays, literature, spacetravel, disease etc.

• How do they relate to God and hispurposes?

• Knows about God and his ways - so that

things generally fit into a pattern andmake sense even when they are

unpleasant - Eph 5:10




13. ??


13 A Visionary



13. A Visionary

• Prov. 29:18

• Joel 2:28 – dreamer

• Acts 26: 19

• The positive counterpart to

restlessness. We must not only be

discontent with the present but alsodreaming dreams of what could be in

the future




• 2 Kings 6:15-17• Leaders can see the power

of God overshadowing the

problems of the future• Most people are experts at

seeing all the problems

and reasons not to moveforward in a venture




No significant life can be livedfor God, nor can any significant

work be done for God, unless it

is grounded firmly on the realityof spiritual vision. God-given

vision is what lifts the Christianfrom the level of the ordinary…




…and enables them to achieve

great things for God…thespiritual vision (these) people get

from God takes hold of them andsets them up for life - all they cando is serve the vision God has

given to themBob Gordon




When God gives a vision by His

Spirit through His word of whatHe wants, and your mind and

soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of the vision, you will

sink into servitude to a point of view which our Lord never had...




…You can never be the same

after the unveiling of a truth.That moment marks you for

going on as a more true discipleof Jesus Christ, or for going back

as a deserterOswald Chambers




•The Availability of the

leader.

• When help or counsel wasneeded the leader was

there




•The Commitment of the

leader.

• The knowledge that the leader

was committed to the peopleto help them grow and

develop as people kept them joyfully engaged in the task




•The Vision that the man was

able to impart to them.

• In this he communicated a plan by which their lives became

significant




Effects of Vision

These will be shown in the life of the leader

but then as they cast the vision the people

will show them too




1. It gives life

I am called

It provides a life-changing thrust with

new direction and purpose to our lives




• Examples:

• Jacob / Israel

Genesis 32:22–32

• Jerubaal / Gideon Judges 6,7

• Abram / AbrahamGenesis 17:1–27




"Dissatisfaction and

discouragement are not caused by

the absence of things but theabsence of vision."

Anonymous


2. It is Motivating



g

I will, I can

Vision has goals

implicit within it

Vision carries the

seed of God'spurpose for our

lives




• The revelation Moses received at the

burning bush contained more than

merely a personal word for Moses, itcarried within it the seed of God's

purpose for His people




• God would not have called us to go

this way, if we did not have what ittakes in Him to fulfil our part of Hisvision


3. It is Constraining



3. It is Constraining

I must only

• People with God's

vision in theirhearts from then

on can only dothings that are in

line with it




• Life is moulded and shaped by it

• Cut themselves off from their old

life• Moses’ vision was specific

• It had outline and content


H t f t



• He was not free to

go beyond that• Moses was told by

God, ‘See that you

make themaccording to the

pattern shown youon the mountain.’

Ex 25:40




4. It is Sanctifying

I will not

• Get their act together

• Discipline their life in order to

serve God




• No longer want to please

themselves, but now want to settheir lives apart for God and His

service

• Moses was told, ‘Put off your shoes

from your feet, for the place on

which you are standing is holyground’ Ex 3:5




• God cut Moses off;

• from his old life

• from any other plans or ideashe might have had

• He could not live for anythingelse ever again




Some Qualities of Visionary

Leaders

• Prayerful - seeking God's leading

• Aware of God's prompting

• Able to translate vision into action -

a capacity for working to make thevision a reality


• Personally committed - even if it is



• Personally committed - even if it isnot an easy task, the need to remain

committed despite opposition

• Able to communicate the vision -

the needed to enlist the support of the people, and share the vision withtheir people so that they became

committed to it.

• Persevering


"Vision is essential for survival It is



Vision is essential for survival. It isspawned by faith, sustained by hope,sparked by imagination andstrengthened by enthusiasm. It isgreater than sight, deeper than a dream, broader than an idea. Visionencompasses vast vistas outside therealm of the predictable, the safe, theexpected. No wonder we perish withoutit!”

Charles Swindoll


14. ??



14. ??


14. Decisive



• In 1 Kings 18:21 Elijah cries out, "Howlong will you go limping with twodifferent opinions: if the Lord is God follow

him; but if Baal then follow him."• A leader cannot be paralysed by

indecisiveness

• He will take risks rather than donothing




•Leaders soak inprayer and the Wordand then rest in God's

sovereignty, knowingthat he will verylikely make some

mistakes


15...




15. Restful



• Ps. 127:1,2 - Ultimately productivity restsin God

• Jesus said to his busy disciples, "Come

away by yourselves to a lonely place andrest a while” Mk. 6:31 – also Matt 11:28ff

• Ex. 20:9,10

• Not so addicted to work that he is unableto rest

• A good steward of his life and health




“Psalm 23 Antithesis”

The clock is my dictator; I shall not rest.

It makes me lie down only when exhausted.

It leads me to deep depression.

It hounds my soul.

It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.

Even though I run frantically from task to task,

I will never get it all done,For my “ideal” is with me.




Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.

They demand performance from me, beyond thelimits of my schedule.

They anoint my head with migraines.

My in-basket overflows.Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me allthe days of my life,

And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.

Marcia K. Hornok


16. Anointed



16. Anointed

• Acts 10:38

• Isaiah 10:27

• Jesus is called the

Christ

• The Anointed One

• Matt 16:13ff




The Anointing


Our relationship with [the]



Holy Spirit

• Baptised Acts 1:5

•

Comes on 1:8• Filled 2:4

•Received 8:17

• Poured out 10:45




• Lied to 5:3

• Tested 5:8

• Resisted 7:51

• Grieved Eph 4:30

•

Quenched 1Th 5:19• Insulted Heb 10:29


• Antioch Acts



Antioch Acts

11:26...For a whole

year they met with the

church and taught a

great many people.

And in Antioch the

disciples were first

called Christians.

• What does this

imply for us




• OT background is

physical &spiritual

• Exodus

30:22-25


•The goodness of the



•The goodness of the

constituents isreleased in the

crushing and mixing

• Perfume, fragrance

• Taste

• The need for brokenness




• Jacob – Genesis 32

• Isaiah – Isaiah 6

• Jesus – on the cross

• David – rebellion of Absalom,death of Bathsheba's child

• 1 Corinthians 1:26-29• 2 Corinthians 4:7ff




•It is a holy anointing oil• Set apart for God

• People – Aaron Ps 133

• Things Ex. 30:26ff

• Same physically but spiritually

different! 1 Cor 4:9




• 2 Samuel 6• David feared God – verse 9

• Feared to touch the anointedmen of God

• 1 Sam 24:4, Ps 105:15, 1 Sam

26:9ff, Heb 10:31




• Holiness becomes a dynamicprinciple

• Not simply a moral attribute

• God’s anointing brings the value

• Ps 51:10-12

• Heb 12:14


“[i h li ] Th b i id



“[in holiness] The basic idea

is not that of separation ... butthe positive thought of

encounter which inevitablydemands certain modes of

response.”H. Seebas


• It brings a fear of the Lord



• It brings a fear of the Lord

• A sense of the personal presence of God

• Seen in David 1 Samuel 6

• Acts 2:43

• 1 Samuel 11:6-7

• Prov. 1:7, 8:13, 9:10, 10:27,14:27,15:33, 16:6, 19:23




Man does notpossess the

anointing – theanointing possesses

man


The example of Jesus - Luke 4



•Anointing can attract or repel

• Luke 4:1, 14, 18ff

• 4:14 – attraction – power of Sp.

• 4:22ff – repels

• Recognition

• Demons Lk 4:33ff, Mk 5:9• By men Jn 19 – Pilate recognised

Jesus’ authority, Matt 8:8ff Wednesday, 28 August 13



•Spirit of the Lord is upon…

• Coming on of HS – frequent in OT

• Judges 6:34 – Gideon

• Judges 13:25 – Samson• Acts 2

• Acts 4• Acts 7:55




•An apostolic spirit – an impetus tosend

• Apostle – from Greek for sent one

• 2 Corinthians 2:17

• Matt 28:18ff

• Acts 13


•A dynamic spirit



•A dynamic spirit

• Real, active power• Acts 10:38

• Acts 2:22 – Gods accreditation –Matt 3:16, 17 – accredited by/ toGod first

• 1 Cor 2:4• Acts 1:8


17...




17. Full of Faith



• Heb 11:6

7 principles of faith

1. Relationship - Matt.6:9

2. Openness - 1 Sam. 3, Speak Lord

3. Memory – Ebeneezers /Thanksgiving




18



18...


18. Persevering



•Matthew 24:13

•Galatians 6:9…Let

us not become wearyin doing good, for atthe proper time we

will reap a harvest if we do not give up.


•Today immediate gratification is



usually demanded – so very few people

excel in the virtue of perseverance andkeep on in the same ministry when

there is significant difficulty

•Vision without perseverance results in

fairy tales not fruitful ministry

•The long haul is hard, but it pays - the big tree is felled by many, many little

chops





http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/biblical-qualifications-of-a-pastor/








Qualifications for Overseers

3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyoneaspires to the office of overseer, he desires anoble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be

above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a

drunkard, not violent but gentle, notquarrelsome,not a lover of money.

What does theBible say?

2 key passages:1 Timothy 3:7-13

Titus 1:5-9




Qualifications for Overseers

3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyoneaspires to the office of overseer, he desires anoble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be

above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a

drunkard, not violent but gentle, notquarrelsome,not a lover of money.


4 He must manage his own household well

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717b

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717a







4 He must manage his own household well,

with all dignity keeping his childrensubmissive, 5 for if someone does not knowhow to manage his own household, how willhe care for God's church? 6 He must not be arecent convert, or he may become puffed upwith conceit and fall into the condemnationof the devil.7 Moreover, he must be well

thought of by outsiders, so that he may notfall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.




Qualifications for Deacons8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, notdouble-tongued, not addicted to much wine,

not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They musthold the mystery of the faith with a clear

conscience.10 And let them also be tested first;then let them serve as deacons if they prove

themselves blameless.




11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, notslanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all

things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife,managing their children and theirown households well.13 For those who servewell as deacons gain a good standing forthemselves and also great confidence in the

faith that is in Christ Jesus.




Qualifications for Elders5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that youmight put what remained into order, and

appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husbandof one wife, and his children are believers andnot open to the charge of debauchery or

insubordination.




7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be

above reproach. He must not be arrogant orquick-tempered or a drunkard or violent orgreedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of

good, self-controlled, upright, holy, anddisciplined. 9 He must hold firm to thetrustworthy word as taught, so that he may be

able to give instruction in sound doctrine andalso to rebuke those who contradict it.


Above Reproach

(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)



( , ; )

This is the summarising characteristic.

“Guiltless, blameless,

having clean hands, sinless”

In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life abovereproach is the first requirement in both lists.

Thomas suggests that the other items on the listexplain what “above reproach” means.


Above Reproach

(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)

“ l d d b



( )

This is the summarising characteristic.

“Guiltless, blameless,

having clean hands, sinless”

In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life abovereproach is the first requirement in both lists.

Thomas suggests that the other items on the listexplain what “above reproach” means.

“as a leader you are supposed to be

above reproach, and what thatmeans is that you can’t even give

the appearance that you’re going to

do something wrong”Kevin Thomas


Rob Wilkersonhttp://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-

driven_06.html

http://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-driven_06.html







1. A Pastor must be

devoted to his wife



One-woman man (Titus 1:6; 1Tim 3:2).

The pastor’s marriageillustrates Christ’s love forHis church—His bride (Eph.5:22 ff.). A Pastor must love

his wife exclusively with hismind, will and emotions andnot just his body.


Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in



an understanding way , showing honour to

the woman as the weaker vessel, since they

are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that

your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7

...in an understanding way - that means that

we need to know our wife , not just women ingeneral.

[http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/]


•It isn't what you get out of

http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/%5D






y gmarriage but what you put

into it that brings glory toGod.

•Do you know your wife'sneeds? Have you discussedthem with her? Have you

asked her what kind of

husband she wants you tobe?


CJ Mahaney suggests three waysthat husbands can nourish and



cherish their wives (particularly

in the context of ministry).

1. Care for her soul.

Care for the children in themorning - she can have adevotional time and get ready forthe day.

Help with her spiritual diet -share good books etc.

Give her half of your day off


Protect your wife re



yher involvement in thechurch. Your wife is not theassociate pastor

Identify her gifts, her capacity

Protect her fromdiscouragement

Encourage her and her

personal example as wife andmother of our children.


2. Cultivate consistent

communication



communication.

Your wife wants to andneeds to talk - do both of you talk, do you have

time to talk?Many pastors have aweekly date night to

cultivate theirrelationship andromance.


Do you take an interest in her world and ask herabout what she is doing?



g

Tell her about your world and your heart - she isprobably your number 1 prayer support.

You need to relate to each other, not just relax

together.


3. Create romantic memories.



Husbands, it is our privilege and responsibility toromance our wives.

Be intentional about being romantic

Study your wife so that you know what would beromantic for her.

When is the last time you planned and executed a

romantic memory for your wife?

If you don’t know what to do ask her.


Reasons why marriages

fail - by Crawford Loritts



Immaturity – age doesn’tmean development.

Lack Of Spiritual Maturity To

udge Character Of YourMate – You marry reality, nota dream.

SelfishnessPassive Men Without MuchDrive.


Inability For Meaningful CommunicationFear And Lack Of IntimacyLack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two



Lack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two

Separate LivesLack Of Purposeful Family Development.Technology Hinders Ability To Communicate Face-

To-Face.Not Accepting Responsibility For Problems




•How could I help us to reconcile our



•How could I help us to reconcile our

misunderstandings better?•What is one way I could really serve you?

•How do I make you feel emotionally?

•What would help you to be more satisfiedsexually?

•In what ways could I help relieve physicalstress?


2. A Pastor’s children

must be in submission



...though not perfect (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5).

If a man does not know how to manage his

own family, he will not know how to takecare of God’s church.

A Pastor’s qualification for the church starts

in his home management as he leads themup in the discipline and admonition of theLord (Eph. 6:4).


10 Strategies for Raising Healthy

Kids that Most Parents Ignore



Prioritize familyresponsibilities overextracurricular activities. Eat together as a family.

Let kids begin to solve theirown problems.

Let kids fail when theconsequences are small.


Don’t reward kids for theirperformance.



Allow kids to experienceconsequences to their actions.

Don’t become a kid-centric

family.Set boundaries and useappropriate discipline.

Be real and be vulnerable.Make healthy marriage apriority.


Praying for your children

JD and Kim Crowley



For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.

Give them faith in Christ from an early age.

Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.

Lead them to be baptized into your church.

Make them members of a strong church withgodly elders.

Sometimes it is easy to repeat thesame (good) prayer requests for

your children. I thought thesesuggestions were excellent and

help bring freshness into yourpraying.


Praying for your children

JD and Kim Crowley



For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.

Give them faith in Christ from an early age.

Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.

Lead them to be baptized into your church.

Make them members of a strong church withgodly elders.




Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.



Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.

Give them hunger for daily Bible reading.

Fill them with love and forbearance towardothers.

Help them endure trials with faith and joy.

Help them guard their conscience.

May their lives be like the sun that rises strongerand stronger until the full of day.


For their Wisdom

Give them hearts that constantly overflow withthankfulness



thankfulness.

Make them peacemakers.

Give them a vocation/skill/work that provides fortheir family and is useful to society.

Give them a sense of purpose and joy in their work.

Rescue them from the fear of man.

Provide for them a good education.

Help them apply themselves diligently to theirstudies and other work.

Rescue them from laziness and dishonesty.Wednesday, 28 August 13

For their Influences and Relationships

May they be quick to forgive.



May they be quick to forgive.

Give them godly friends all their lives who willinfluence them to love God.

Give them godly influences from “uncles and

aunts” and “substitute parents,” especially as ourinfluence wanes.

Don’t let them go through a time of teenage

rebellion.Help them remain pure and enter marriage asvirgins.


May they marry only strong believers.

S tif d bl th i f t



Save, sanctify, and bless their future spouse.

Keep divorce away from their lives and theirchildren’s lives for many generations.

Give them the gift of children and the grace to raise

them up in the faith of Christ.

If they are to remain single, make them unusuallyfruitful for God’s kingdom.

Protect them from predators.

Protect them from deviant sexual desires.




For their Physical Life

Heal and protect them from sicknesses and diseases.

Protect them from accidents.

Give their country peace in their lifetime.


3. A Pastor is a faithful

Steward (Titus 1:7)



Here the term used is overseer (Greek episkopos). It is notanother office, but a functional

title of the elder. It is what hedoes.

He is a steward, a manager of

God’s resources and Jesus’ flock.He takes responsibility, but notownership.


4. A Pastor must be

humble - not arrogant



Titus 1:7

A pastor must constantly demonstrate the

gospel by admitting when he is wrong andassuming responsibility and restoringrelationships.

“Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in the

light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness” CJMahaney


Following is an excerpt from the writings of St.J i hi h h l id tif l k f



•Thinking that what you do or say is betterthan what others do or say

•Always wanting to get your own way

•Arguing when you are not right or —when you are — insisting stubbornly orwith bad manners

Josemaria which can help us identify a lack of

humility in ourselves.

Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer was aRoman Catholic priest from Spain who founded

Opus Dei, an organization of laypeople andpriests dedicated to the teaching that everyoneis called to holiness and that ordinary life is a

path to sanctity. January 9, 1902 - June 26, 1975




•Thinking that what you do or say is betterthan what others do or say

•Always wanting to get your own way

•Arguing when you are not right or —when you are — insisting stubbornly orwith bad manners


•Giving your opinion without being askedfor it when charity does not demand you



for it, when charity does not demand you

to do so

•Despising the point of view of others

•Not being aware that all the gifts andqualities you have are on loan

•Not acknowledging that youare unworthy of all honour or esteem,even the ground you are treading on orthe things you own


•Mentioning yourself as an example

•Speaking badly about yourself so that they



•Speaking badly about yourself, so that they

may form a good opinion of you, or contradictyou

•Making excuses when rebuked

•Hiding some humiliating faults from yourdirector, so that he may not lose the goodopinion he has of you

•Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being gladthat others have spoken well of you


•Being hurt that others are held in greateresteem than you



esteem than you

•Refusing to carry out menial tasks

•Seeking or wanting to be singled out

•Letting drop words of self-praisein conversation, or words that might showyour honesty, your wit or skill, yourprofessional prestige…

•Being ashamed of not having certainpossessions…


5. A Pastor must not be quick-

tempered Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3



No man will be of any use inthe kingdom that is quick-tempered.

Jesus was angry at the abuseof others in the name of religion and the dishonouring

of God.We get angry at how “things”affects us.


6. A Pastor must be sober - not a

drunkard(Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)



This is at first reading anoverindulgence in alcohol...

But we need to check

ourselves for any addictivebehaviour.

What are you addicted to?

Food, work, success, peoplesapproval, prestige, yourphone...?


7. A Pastor must be peaceful -

not violent Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3



The words or carry powerto influence. Do you wordsinfuriate or embarrass? Are

you careful with yourwords?

Are you a peacemaker (Not

a peace-keeper)...Does thepeace of God minister topeople through you?


8. A Pastor must have

financial integrity



Not greedy for gain (Titus1:7; 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Peter 5:3)

A pastor is to be upright inhis financial dealings

He must not be open toany accusation of pursuing

money over the kingdomof God.


9. A pastor must be

hospitable



Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2

“A pastor’s home is to be

open for others to enjoy. A

pastor’s home is not a heaven

on earth, but rather a place of

ministry.”

Heb 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9, Matt

25:34ff, Rom 12:13


2 Do not neglect to show

hospitality to strangers, for



p y g f

thereby some haveentertained angels

unawares.

9 Show hospitality to one

another without grumbling.

13 Contribute to the needs of

the saints and seek to show

hospitality.


2 Do not neglect to show

hospitality to strangers, for

How can you use your



p y g f

thereby some haveentertained angels

unawares.

9 Show hospitality to one

another without grumbling.

13 Contribute to the needs of

the saints and seek to show

hospitality.

How can you use your

home for the glory of Godand still retain a proper

family life?

Should you home always

be open or can you say to

people they cannot come

at certain times?


10. A Pastor must be a

lover of good



Titus 1:8

A pastor genuinely loveswhat is good.

He does not just think heshould love it.


10. A Pastor must be a

lover of good



Titus 1:8

A pastor genuinely loveswhat is good.

He does not just think heshould love it.


11. A Pastor must be self-

controlled





Self-control is a characteristic of every area of apastor’s life:

Habits, diet, time, mouth, exercise,

relationships, sex, money...




13. A Pastor must be holy



Titus 1:8

Holy = set apart.His life is devotedwholeheartedly to Jesusexternally and internally.

Hebrews 12:14


13. A Pastor must be holy



Titus 1:8

Holy = set apart.His life is devotedwholeheartedly to Jesusexternally and internally.

Hebrews 12:14

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being

sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will

be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the

passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who

called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”


14. A Pastor must be able

to teach




All of the otherqualifications are

character qualities. Thisis the only ability-based requirement.

He is to be able to teach

sound doctrine, not justbe able to communicatewell.


14. A Pastor must be able

to teach



His teaching can be to oneor two, to twenty, to ahundred or to a thousand.

Most of the churches inCrete were housechurches. The elders wereto defend the faith oncedelivered to the saintsagainst the numerousfalse teachers that arose.




The chief

occupational hazard

of leadership is

pride.

John Stott


16. A Pastor must be

respectable



1 Tim 3:7

That does not mean that

everyone must like himor even appreciate him.

It means that there is nocredible witness to anongoing sinful behavior.


16. A Pastor must be

respectable



1 Tim 3:7

That does not mean that

everyone must like himor even appreciate him.

It means that there is nocredible witness to anongoing sinful behavior.


17. A Pastor must be an

example to the flock



1 Peter 5:3

Elders are examples of

Biblical expressionsconversations, timemanagement,marriage, parenting,

worship,relationships...


17. A Pastor must be an

example to the flock



1 Peter 5:3

Elders are examples of

Biblical expressionsconversations, timemanagement,marriage, parenting,

worship,relationships...

“A pastor should be

someone your sons couldpattern their life after andthe kind of man your

daughter should marry.”


What should you do if an elder violates one of



y

these requirements?1 Timothy 5:19-20 warns us not to accuse anelder flippantly, “Do not admit a charge againstan elder except on the evidence of two or three

witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin,rebuke them in the presence of all,so that therest may stand in fear.”

Matthew 18:15-18 then gives us the

appropriate steps to take.


the bridge session2

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