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THE AWE-INSPIRING ABILITY TO OVERCOME CHALLENGES AND LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE 2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management Riverside Hotel, Boise, Idaho October 27, 2016 Presented by Steve Welker (480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.RadicalResiliency.com

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THE AWE-INSPIRING ABILITY TO OVERCOME CHALLENGES AND LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management Riverside Hotel, Boise, Idaho

October 27, 2016

Presented by Steve Welker (480) 730-6200

[email protected] www.RadicalResiliency.com

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

Change - A Fact of Life One thing you can be sure of is that change, positive or negative, will take place throughout your life.

Change occurs in one of three ways:

Intentional Change This type of change is made by a conscious decision and involves effective goal setting. Some examples of this type of change include: where to go to school, career choice, marital status, becoming a parent, budgeting and leading a healthy lifestyle. Intentional change is also the decision to break a bad habit or modify a personality trait. It is usually a constructive change and sets the mold for the person you are, and the person you want to be.

Unintentional Change This type of change develops by unconscious decision, default, or simply the lack of having a goal. You sit back and just let life happen. Your health: mental or physical, is a great example of this. When you choose to forgo exercise, eat unhealthy foods or not get adequate sleep, it causes unintended, negative change. Another example of unintentional change is continuing to stay in an unfulfilling job or unhealthy relationship. In the majority of the cases, these changes are negative in nature.

External change This type of change is uncontrollable. Change that is totally out of your hands. These changes can be positive or negative. Positive examples would be winning the lottery or simply being lucky. Negative examples include the loss of a loved one, poor economy, losing a job, natural disasters, accidents, illnesses or becoming disabled.

Regardless of how change occurs in your life, the way in which you deal with it can make the difference between living a dull, ordinary life or an extraordinary life in full color. In order to climb to new heights and thrive in spite of life’s challenges, you need to learn why some people thrive when faced with trouble and others wither and give up.

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �2

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

Are You Resilient? Do you possess the resiliency skills to overcome life's challenges time and time again? If not, you are in the majority. Studies show that two-thirds of Americans lack basic resiliency skills to overcome life’s challenges. After tragedy strikes, they spend the rest of their life feeling powerless and giving up. The good news is that you can learn and build resiliency skills before or after these challenges hit.

Developing Radical Resiliency Radical Resiliency is the awe-inspiring ability to overcome life’s challenges and live an extraordinary life. Studies indicate that resilient people possess three primary characteristics which allow them to successfully manage change, overcome challenges, and thrive! This is called the 'Resiliency Triangle.’

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �3

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

Attitude Resilient People have a positive outlook on life. They are firmly planted in the ‘glass half full’ group. Some people are just born that way. But, those who are not genetically gifted with optimism can learn how to ‘change their brain.’

Positive people possess these characteristics: ✦ The ability to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

✦ The wisdom to keep busy! (An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.)

✦ Always see the silver lining behind the dark clouds.

✦ Possess a good sense of humor; laugh during tough times.

✦ Accept that trials are a part of life.

✦ Keep challenges in perspective- don't blow them out of proportion.

✦ Live their lives by a set of spiritual and moral values.

✦ Grow more resilient as a result of their challenges.

If you need to work on improving your attitude, here are some suggestions:

✦ Enlist the power of positive thinking. It’s true! Studies show that by just telling yourself to think positively, you can improve your disposition.

✦ Pick up a self-help book on the power of positive thinking or read an inspirational story of someone who has overcome great challenges. There are many excellent books that can help you make affirmative changes.

✦ Seek professional help. A cognitive behavioral therapist is trained to give you the tools that you need to help you change your negative thoughts. If your brain is chemically imbalanced, you may seek the help of a psychiatrist who can evaluate your mental state and prescribe a medication that could positively impact your life.

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �4

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

Commitment Resilient people are committed to accomplishing their goals. They understand that by accomplishing goals, they can lead an extraordinary life.

Resilient individuals maintain the following goal setting skills: ✦ Make sure their goals are crystal clear, achievable and in line with their moral compass.

✦ Set goals for all of the vital categories of their life - personal, career, financial, hobbies, health, travel, volunteerism, spiritual, etc.

✦ Start by setting the long term goal in each category, then breaking them down into more achievable, mini-goals.

✦ Set only goals they are passionate about and truly wish to accomplish.

✦ Understand the importance of setting goals dependent upon what THEY want to accomplish, not people around them such as a spouse, parent or employer.

If you have problems accomplishing goals, try to document your goals with a plan of action. When you write down your goals you are twice as likely to achieve them. There are many goal-setting models. A good one is the SMART method.

S Specific Set a clear, specific goal. Crystal clear goals will help you reach your ultimate goal. Vague goals are destined for the rust heap.

M Measurable Include a way to track your progress. When goals are measurable, you are far more likely to achieve them. Check your smart phone for an application to serve as your personal assistant.

A Attainable Set realistic goals. If you set your goals too high or too low, you may become unmotivated. Successfully attaining one goal is a great motivator to set a loftier goal.

R Relevant Set goals that are important to you. They should be goals that you believe in and are willing to work toward. When you choose goals that are in line with your personal value system and that you are passionate about, you will be more motivated to achieve them.

T Time-Bound Make sure your goal is anchored with a timetable.  Your goal should specifically state when you plan to accomplish it. And remember, most timelines need occasional modification.

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �5

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

How committed are you to attaining your goals? The method you use to manage your goals may be a good way to tell. A recent study reveals the probability of accomplishing goals.

Support Resilient people have strong support systems. This team provides them with positive reassurance that their goals are realistic, achievable and worthwhile.

Resilient individuals understand the following about support systems: ✦ A strong support system greatly increases the probability of accomplishing goals.

✦ Know that professional therapists, life coaches and faith-based counselors can provide you with the tools to overcome life’s challenges.

✦ Are aware that the most effective method of battling addiction is through a support group.

✦ Embrace volunteering. Assisting others helps them overcome their own challenges.

✦ Have discovered that engaging with others in recreational activities can provide a ready-made support group.

A quick note about your support system: As important as who is on your support team is, who is not. Just because someone is close to you (spouse, family member, friend), does not automatically make them a ‘healthy’ support member. You need to recognize emotionally unhealthy people and distance yourself from them. (480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �6

10%

25%

50%

95%

Hear an idea Consciously decide to adopt an idea

Design a plan to act on an idea

Establish a time table with an accountability partner

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

Stomp out negative thinking! Negative thinking is the enemy of a positive attitude. Resilient people have mastered the skill of stomping out negative thinking with the use of distraction and disputation.

Distraction When negative thoughts creep in, the first thing you need to do is something that will immediately distract your mind from its current path. This is a three-step process:

1. Thought Stopping: Do something that will immediately take your mind away from the negative thoughts. Such as, stand up and do some stretching, get a snack.

2. Attention Shifting: Watch something interesting on your smart phone, listen to some music, go for a refreshing walk outside.

3. Schedule Time. If this is an issue that truly needs to be analyzed, set aside a time later in the day when you can give the issue all of the time that you need to analyze it. Then at the end of the scheduled session…let it go. Make sure that you set aside the time to be completed during your optimum daily rhythm.

Disputation Most of the time, negative thoughts are simply wrong. The reality is that most of you are smart, successful people who have a good life. Sure, all of you have challenges, but that is just a natural part of life. To combat these negative thoughts, employ disputation, which is realizing that your beliefs need to be disputed. You must learn to debate with yourself.

Fortunately, you have a lifetime of debate skills you have honed by arguing with other people. It’s time you started debating with yourself. Try these steps:

✦ Is there a non-personal reason for the negative thought? Perhaps this is a situation that is simply out of your control.

✦ Is there something unique or specific to the challenge? If so, the situation will most likely clear itself up soon.

✦ Is there a less catastrophic way of looking at this? Try not to always head for the worst case scenario.

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �7

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

✦ What is the factual evidence that your negative ideas Have any basis in reality? Try to be objective, evaluate the facts and make a sound judgement.

✦ Are there ‘changeable’ reasons for the challenge? If so, put a plan in place to make those positive changes. If not, just let it go. It is a waste of your time and energy to worry.

For more information on distraction and disputation, see ‘Learned Optimism’ by Martin E. P .Seligman, Ph.D.

Make a Leap List Leap forward in your life to the next big milestone (getting married, purchasing a house, becoming a parent, becoming an empty nester, retiring). Or, pick a specific time frame (three, five or ten years). Now, take a moment and think about what personal or professional goals you want to have accomplished by that time. What steps are you going to take to make sure that you reach those goals?

Don’t just think about it, make your own leap list. It can include items from any category; career, family, recreation, travel, hobbies, or health. As you make your leap list, keep the ‘Resiliency Triangle’ in mind. Make sure you have a positive attitude. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones- think ‘can’ instead of ‘can’t’ or will instead of won’t. Document your goals with a plan of action. When you write down your goals you are twice as likely to achieve them.

Apply the SMART goal setting model. If you truly want to accomplish your leap list goals, assign an accountability partner. Share your goals with people who encourage you. Ignore those who say it cannot be done. When making your list, engage the right (creative) side of your brain to dream about the things you have always wanted to do. Some popular items on that list might include an exotic vacation, learning a foreign language, running a marathon, writing a book, skiing the Alps, taking scuba lessons, skydiving, continuing your education, adopting a puppy, learning to play a musical instrument, volunteering your time to help others or learning to play a new sport, like tennis, golf or???.

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �8

2016 Idaho Institute for Court Management October 27, 2016

What’s on your leap list?

You can possess Radical Resiliency Resilient people become stronger with each challenge they face. They develop a psychological immune system which enables them to be less susceptible to illness. They learn from their experiences and bounce back quickly.

Use the Resiliency Triangle for any challenge. You, too, can discover the power of Radical Resiliency!

For more helpful tips on building better resiliency skills, please read the book “Radical Resiliency -

Steps for climbing to new heights regardless of life’s challenges,” written by Steve Welker and his wife Dr. Kristina Welker. It is available on Amazon.

"I believe, most people, when they truly accept their limitations, can develop or uncover from within themselves, an ability to overcome great odds. Superhero status is not a prerequisite.

One does not have to possess indefatigable willpower or unshakable motivation to succeed after a tragedy. With the

proper tools and faith in God, most people can do it.” Steve Welker, from his book “The World at My Fingertips - My personal story of triumph over tragedy.”

For more information about Steve and his amazing guide dog Orbit, please visit: radicalresiliency.com, his Facebook, LinkedIn or YouTube page.

Leap List Goal

Category

First Step

Achieve By

(480) 730-6200 [email protected] www.radicalresiliency.com � �9