terry pratchett presents: dodger's guide to london
TRANSCRIPT
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7/22/2019 Terry Pratchett Presents: Dodger's Guide to London
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TAJOM_ RC JUCIB
I ycu aivm if t`m rcclmrims, ycu fmmbs tc nm cf ycur tcms jaa t`m tikm. Ecr fct j ncby wjfts tc gmtocaajrmb ny t`m jcrmsjib pmmamrs, cr gc up nmcrm t`m nmjl cr t`jt gmftamkjf wcuab nm ailmaytc tjlm cfm accl jt j ajb wit` t`m jrsm `jfgifg cut c `is nrito`ms (mspmoijaay i it turfmb cut `m
wjs if sckmncby masms nrito`ms) jfb egurm `m wjs guiaty jcrm `m mvmf `mjrb t`m mvibmfom. J fbnmcrm ycu ocuab ory ufoam ycub nm `mjbifg cr t`m ajst hig c ycur aim. Nut t`my ojft jrrmst
ycu i t`my ojft ajy j `jfb cf ycu, jfb I rmolcfs t`jts t`m wjy tc jvcib jaa t`mk pajomsfc scua wjfts tc smm t`m ifsibm c. Jfb t`mrms kcrm t`jf cfm tc stjy wmaa oamjr c . . .
Fuknmr Cfm . . . R`m Ocurts
Rm rst jfb crmkcst pajom tc jvcib wjs t`m Cab Njiamy jasc lfcwf js t`m _mssicfs
@cusm, t`m Hustiom @jaa, cr hust up nmcrm t`m nmjl ny mvmrycfm Bcbgmr grmw up wit`.
BIB YC] LFCW3
k Rm Cab Njiamy gct its fjkm rck t`m strmmt it is cf, w`io` caacws t`m crigifjawjaa cr njiamy c t`m Oity c Acfbcf.
k Nmcrm gjs aig`tifg ojkm iftc usm if t`m :9t` omftury, t`m joousmb `jb j kirrcrjncvm `is jom sc t`jt t`csm wjto`ifg ocuab smm i `m `jb j s`iey mxprmssicf cr
acclmb js iffcomft js t`m bjy `m wjs ncrf.
k J bjy jt t`m trijas wjs j hcaay gccb bjy cut cr sckm c Acfbcfs rmspmotjnamcal jfb jf crrinam kurbmr jawjys brmw t`m orcwbs.
_cackcf kust `jvm aimb tc pcaiomkmf jaa cvmr Murcpm, jfb wit`
Gcb cf `is sibm, jfb wcuab nm vmry ufailmay if t`m prmsmfom c j
pmmamr tc lfcw i t`m sly wjs naum.
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BCBGM^_ G]IBM RC ACFBCF ..
rijas wmrm cemf vmry quiol t`m viotik c t`m orikm wjs jnam tc stjfb up jfb kjlm t`m
joousjticf jfb t`m joousmb `jb tc bmmfb t`mksmavms. Cemf, it wcuab hust nm t`m wcrb
c j pcaiomkjf . . . w`c ocuab nm o`jaamfgmb ny j njrristmr wit` ciay wcrbs jfb jf mvmf
ciaimr wig.
_coija hustiom3Uiotik cr orikifja3 Js j ycufg t`im kig`t vmry wmaa oajik tc t`m nmjl8 It is jaa vmry fm
cr ycu tc sit t`mrm, ycu t`jt `jvm fct cfay `jb j hcaay gccb nrmjljst, nut ojf jcrb tc
spcrt j siavmr tcct`piol tc piol ycur tmmt` wit` jemrwjrbs, it is jaa vmry fm cr ycu tc
prmjo` tc km t`jt I fmvmr s`jaa bc jfy gccb, nut cfm c t`msm bjys ockm tc sckmt`ifg
t`jts prmoicus njb, i I bcft out t`m wjys c t`imvifg, jfb tjlm tc `cfmst wjys . . . I jift
suo` j cca js fct tc lfcw t`jt its nmttmr tc wjal if `cfmst wjys ailm t`mk ycuvm gct iftc,
jfb tc wmjr gcab o`jifs jfb vmavmt wjistocjts, t`jf tc prcwa jncut if rjggmb ocrburcys,
jfb bcbgm t`m pammsmkjf, jfb nm j prig8 nut `cw jk I tc gmt iftc t`mk scrts c `cfmst
wjys3 Wiaa ycu givm km j `ist up tc mk3 Wiaa ycu givm km j amg-up Ik suo` j aittam ocvm,
ycu smm cf tc t`m ncttck rcufb c t`m ajbbmr t`jt amjbs up tc mk3
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Fuknmr Rwc . . . R`m Triscf @cusm
Wrcfgbcmrs ocuab fb t`mksmavms acolmb if gjca cr t`m pmttimst c orikms, cr mxjkpam
t`is tmf-ymjr-cab up nmcrm t`m nmjl jt Wjfbswcrt` ycufg Hjkms Amjbnmjtmr.
Orikm8
_aifg oay c tm vaum ce cfm ffy
_mftmfom8
Ecur bys `b ancur fb j w`ipifg
Ct`mr o`iab orikifjas ifoaubmb tmf-ymjr-cab Gmcrgm Bjvmy, smftmfomb tc cfm ojamfbjr
kcft` `jrb ajncur cr stmjaifg twc aivm tjkm rjnnits, jfb pccr mamvmf-ymjr-cab Rckjs
_jvjgm, w`c rmomivmb tmf strclms wit` j niro` rcb jfb cur bjys `jrb ajncur cr stmjaifg
sckm ircf.
Fuknmr R`rmm . . . Rrjfspcrtjticf
If t`m mjray pjrt c t`m omftury, trjfspcrtjticf wjs vmry pcpuajr. wc cr t`m priom c
cfm! ]fbmsirjnam (cr sikpay bmspmrjtmay pccr) pmcpam s`ippmb cut c sig`t jfb cut c
kifb, jfbit ocst j act amss t`jf priscf. Ecr sikpam t`mes cemf c ccb mvmf o`iabrmf
ufbmr t`m jgm c tmf ocuab nm smft t`cusjfbs c kiams jwjy tc ajfbs cf t`m ct`mr sibm c
t`m wcrab . . . w`mrm w`c lfmw w`jt kig`t nm if stcrm cr t`mk.
I bcft lfcw vmry kuo` jncut Justrjaij, nut _ca tcab km its t`m ct`mr sibm c t`m wcrab, sc t`mwjy I smm it t`jt kmjfs t`jt t`my kust wjal jrcufb upsibm bcwf.
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l. Fuknmr Ecur . . . Bjfoifg t`m @mkp Ejfbjfgc
I t`mrm wjs j oaifl, t`mf t`m oaifl wjs w`mrm ycu spmft ycur bjys uftia t`my jfgmb ycu
Kcttc ce j sfjlmskjf lfcwf tc Bcbgmr
BIB YC] LFCW3
k ]p uftia :0?4 ycu ocuab nm `jfgmb cr stmjaifg j `crsm cr nrmjlifg iftc j `cusm.
k Tunaio `jfgifgs tccl pajom cutsibm Fmwgjtm Gjca uftia :050.
k Ny t`m tikm Uiotcrij ojkm tc t`m t`rcfm, `jfgifg wjs rmjaay cfay cr trjitcrs crkurbmrmrs ailm t`m Cutajfbmr jssjssif w`c Bcbgmr nrcug t tc hustiom.
Mxmouticfs wmrm ocfsibmrmb j gccb bjy cut cr jaa t`m jkiay j vmry mstivm coojsicf wit`
t`m cbb rict t`rcwf if cr mxtrj vjaum. Hmmr jt t`m `jfgkjf! Nuy j ocpy c t`m priscfmrs
byifg spmmo`! O`mmr js t`m orikifja liolmb `is ajst! C`, jfb w`y fct `jvm j piolamb
w`mal jfb j gifgmr nmmr tc kjlm j rmja bjy c it. Jfb w`iam ycu wmrm mjtifg t`jt, w`y, j
ycufg bip kig`t vmry wmaa mjrf `iksma j pim cr twc ny rmkcvifg ycur pcolmtnccl . . .
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9>
Fuknmr Eivm . . . Nmbajk @cspitja
Ejfoimb j bimrmft scrt c bjy cut3 Jt cfm tikm, Nmt`amk @cspitja Murcpms cabmst
`cspitja cr t`m ojrm jfb ocftrca c t`m ifsjfm wjs j pcpuajr, fjy mssmftija, sig`t cr
jfy visitcr tc t`m kmtrcpcais. Emms wmrm o`jrgmb jfb t`m jftios c t`m wrmto`ms wit`ift`m uf`jppy kjfsicf wmrm ocfsibmrmb j kcrja mxjkpam c w`jt ocuab `jppmf i jfycfm
jaacwmb t`mir pjssicfs tc ruam t`mir joticfs. Kjfy pjtimfts wmrm fjlmb, cr hust ocvmrmb
wit` j sifgam najflmt, jfb o`jifs jfb kjfjoams wmrm if ockkcf usjgm. Ycu rmjaaywjftmb
tc lfcw ycu ocuab gc `ckm jgjif w`mf ycub `jb mfcug` . . .
Bcbgmr jncut _wmmfmy Rcbb8 Rm pccr bmvia wjs ifbmmb kcrm j
ojfbibjtm cr Nmbajk rjt`mr t`jf t`m gjaacws, t`cug` jfy kjf
wit` jfy smfsm nut fc kcfmy wcuab o`ccsm t`m `jfgkjf jfy bjy.
R`myrm ockifg tc tjlm ycu jwjy. . . !J pjtimft if j Uiotcrijf jsyauk3 @mrm jrm sckm c t`m trmjtkmfts t`jt kig`t `jvm nmmf
if stcrm cr ycu8
g Naccbamttifg ny rmkcvifg naccb, t`m ncby wcuab suppcsmbay nm kcrm njajfomb.]famss tcc kuo` wjs tjlmf, if w`io` ojsm kcst ncbims wcuab nmockm vmry
ufnjajfomb jfb sikpay jaa cvmr.
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g @ypfctisk cr t`csm sumrifgrck `ystmrij (cemf ojusmb ny
jf cvmrjotivm wckn, jppjrmftay,
t`cug` Bcbgmr `iksma `jb fmvmr
`mjrb c jfycfms wckn amjpifgiftc joticf cr gcifg tc wjr).
g Ifbuomb vckitifg.
g _caitjry ocffmkmft.
g Ammo`ms.
g _trjit-hjolmts.
g O`jifs cr kjfjoams m.g. nmifgo`jifmb tc t`m nmb jt fig`t.
Jfb, c ocursm, t`mrm wjs t`m ^ctjryO`jir (smm Ifbuomb vckitifgjncvm). Rm
ufcrtufjtm pjtimft wcuab nm strjppmb
if, jfb t`m o`jir cistmb iftc t`m jir jfb
t`mf spuf rcufb jfb rcufb. Rm pjtimft
wcuab nmockm sc biscrimftjtmb t`jt
t`my wcuab rmpmft c t`mir wiolmbfmss
jfb jaig`t j Fmw Tmrscf. Rmy usujaay
rmpmftmb c t`mir ajst kmja, jaa rig`t . . .
J acw-saufg nrcw3 Kurbmrmr! Nig fcsm3 Tiolpcolmt!J fmw-jfgamb soimfom ifvcavmb o`molifg cut t`m s`jpm c sckmcfms `mjb jfb rmjbifg
t`m aukps jfb nukps (jssukifg fcfm `jb hust nmmf jbbmb ny j nauft ifstrukmft, c
ocursm) tc mstjnais` j pmrscfs tmkpmrjkmft. Bmjt`-kjsls wmrm kjbm c priscfmrs mjbs
jemr `jfgifg sc t`jt t`m mjgmr ycufg p`rmfcacgists ocuab bisocvmr t`m typioja accl c
sckmcfm ailmay tc nmockm j `jrbmfmb orikifja.
@cwaifg jt t`m kccf3Rm wcrbs aufjtio jfb aufjoy ockm rck t`m Ajtif wcrb cr kccf aufj jfb kmftja
pjtimfts `jvm nmmf s`cwf tc nmockm kcrm bisturnmb jt t`m tikm c j uaa kccf (t`cug`
bmspitm tjams if t`m pmffy brmjbuas, fc cfm c Bcbgmrs joqujiftjfom wjs mvmr smmf tc
turf iftc j wca cf suo` j fig`t). If t`m rcclmrims, t`cug`, j wca wcuab `jvm nmmf mjsy
prmy jfb pcssinay j gccb biffmr cr twc cr sckm c t`m fig`t pmcpam . . .