ten steps to becoming social-emotional aces--idge-2017

Ten Steps to Building

Emotional

Core Strength

Written & Presented By

Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW

Therapist for Sensitive and

Gifted©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Sharon M. BarnesTherapist For Sensitive and

GiftedMSSW – Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSU

LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado

USALocal Counseling/Psychotherapy

Online Distance Consultation

Presentations, PlayShops & Retreats

Professional DevelopmentJungian-oriented depth work to: Release your Creativity

Heal your Past

Transform your Pain

Become Fully Alive

Find & Fulfill your True Purpose

Thank You to

©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com



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CASIGY Tool Box

Have You Had This

at Home or School?



1. Emotional meltdowns

2. Verbal Outbursts

3. Hitting, kicking, punching

4. Going silent

5. Decline in performance

6. ???

7. ???

Common Gifted Children’s

Behavior Problems


1. Super-sensitivity

2. Anxiety

3. Depression

4. Feeling out of sync/

like an alien

5. Anger/Resentment

6. ???

7. ???

Common GT Kids’ Emotional

Problems




Why these problems?

Creative, Curious, Complex

Acutely Aware

Super- Sensitive

Intense, often Introverted and/or

Gifted

You? someone you know?

= CASIGY™

A Great Tragedy

o Under –Achievement

o Alienation

o Dumbing down

o Copping out

o Dropping out

o Wasted intelligence

o Wasted talent

o Wasted lives

o School Shootings ← GT Students

o Suicides of Gifted & Talented

People©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Social and emotional needs are

crucial to the well-being of gifted

students and adults.

Social and emotional needs o Low Self-esteem or confidence

o Anxiety

o Depression

Ten Steps to Building Emotional

Core Strength

(How to Become

Social-Emotional ACES)Targeting

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional Resilience

Self-Esteem

RESULT: Restore ability to

Create & Innovate





GT Kids (of all ages)

CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional

Resilience

Self-esteem

What’s an

ACE?

Exhibit A:

o Elite baseball pitcher

o Team’s best starter

o First in the rotation

o Plays the BIG

games©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

What’s a Social-Emotional ACE?

Social –Emotional ACES = “5

G’s”

1. Gain perspective (big picture)

2. Gain understanding and

acceptance of self & others

3. Gain skills to balance and express

emotions

4. Gain skills to meet own social-

emotional needs effectively

5. Gain skills to establish and maintain

social relationships


Something’s

wrong with me


I’m an Alien


CASIGYs



More perceptive

CNS

More reactive CNS

CASIGYs’

Mascot



*Different*o ridiculed

o excluded

o shunned

o shamed

o ostracized

o banished into

exile

because of . . .


LATER …


he returned from exile

Also

because of . .

.


Wh

at’

s

YO

UR

S?


• 2• 3

• 1• 4

ReturnRed Nose: MisFit

OutcastExile

CASIGY Cycle of Discouragement

The

Hero &

Heroine’

s

Journey

©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.



• 2• 3

• 1• 4

Creative Contri-bution

Creative Coping

Creative Healing

Creative Transfor-

mation

CASIGY Cycle of Encouragement

The

Hero’s &

Heroine’

s

Journey

Preparation for

the Journey

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.


Multi-Purpose

Tool:

Emotions are like Ocean Waveso natural phenomenon

o energy

o don’t ask permission

o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement

o Our 1st reaction is to

o When we fight them,

o Learn to READ them

o Learn to RIDE them

F IGHT THEM

WE LOSE We can stay SAFE

We can have FUN


GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL

CLEAR

ORANGE Flag = Medium waves = CAUTION

RED Flag = Big waves = DANGER

BLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE

BEACH

PURPLE Flag = Something’s in the water

= BEWARE

What Color Flag is flying on Your Inner

Beach?



CASIGY™ Tool #1 First

Best

Last

Use anywhere

Use anytime

BREATHE

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.c

om/

Resources/CASIGY Tool Box/

Relaxation Breathing Exercises

“I’ve decided to outsource my emotional

needs”

5. What do I need? How can I meet this need?


We ID Our Needs By Climbing

Both Pyramids


Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

How do I interpret this event or situation?

o What’s my first take on what it means?

o Things are not always as they seem –

does it REALLY mean this?

o What else might it mean?


CASIGYs Often Believe:

“I’m Different; therefore

something’s wrong

with me;

I’m Defective,

Inferior, and

Inadequate”


CASIGYs ─You’re NOT

Defective;

You’re Different …by Design!


Dabrowski’s Theory of

Positive Disintegration

o Emotions influence personality development

o Intelligence is not a sufficient condition for human development

o Experience of negative emotions is essential for advanced psychological development.

o Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative emotions

o When individuals are on the path of development, negative emotions are essential companions

o Negative emotions may break apart lower levels of development and thus prepare us for higher levels of development

o Therefore having negative emotions may be a harbinger of further development


Jung’s Depth Psychology: Most people can stay undeveloped psychically

with no particularly negative consequences for

themselves

They are unconscious and are perfectly happy

being unconscious.

They give lots of other people trouble and pain,

but they are not pained because of their

unconsciousness.

Many (especially CASIGYs) DO have a great

NEED to develop to a deeper, higher, broader

level.

They develop symptoms (neuroses) that haunt

them unless and until they become more and

more conscious and more developed

psychologically.

Like those who MUST explore new physical

territory (California or BUST), they MUST

individuate.

Tragically, they most often misinterpret the

meaning of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.

They need to understand that their symptoms

are signs of an INVITATION WITH AN

IMPERATIVE TO GROW & DEVELOP FURTHER.


CASIGYs ─You’re NOT

Defective;

You’re Different …by Design!


When our Waves are Out of

Proportion

o More perceptive CNS

o More reactive CNS

o HALT

o Misunderstanding

o Misinterpretation

o Pull from the past (depression)

o Push to the future (anxiety)

o Complexes distort reality

7. Does the SIZE of this wave MATCH

the significance of the situation?


We all need

fences

8. What are my limits?

How can I honor them?



Accept the Waves

o Stop resisting & fighting the

waves

o Watch the waves

o Ride the waves©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

9. What can I DO about this

OR how can I accept this?

10. Personal

Positive

Predictability

Whatever comes your way in life, you can

predict that you can in time, find a positive,

creative, constructive way to cope with it.




GT Kids (of all ages)

CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional

Resilience

Self-esteem

We’ve only just begun ………. What do you do when emotions are persistent –

when the waves pound and pound and pound on

your beach?

What do you do when a tsunami hits your beach?

What do you do when the old habits come back and

back – when you continue to fight the waves?

What do you do when the waves don’t match and

how do you really sort that out and discover what do

do about it

What do you do when your kids are little and how to

you help them to learn this?

What do you do when your kids refuse to use this?

And they are acting out instead?

What do you do when you find yourself fighting or

resisting all of this even though you know it would

help you if you used it? ©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -


CASIGY ACES Online

Social-Emotional

Empowerment Program

Preview Webinar

Coming Soon

http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.

com/casigy-social-emotional-aces/

Sources Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Person.

Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Child

Campbell, Joseph. Hero with a Thousand Faces

Jung, C.G., MD. Two Essays on Analytical Psychology.

Sal Mendaglio, PhD. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive

Disintegration

James T. Webb, PhD. Searching for Meaning. Idealism, Bright

Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope

James T. Webb, PhD and Edward R. Amend, PhD.

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and

Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression

Whitmont, Edward C. The Symbolic Quest


ten steps to becoming social-emotional aces--idge-2017

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