team management iii - conflict resolution

Common Sense ManagementCollaborative Conflict Resolution, Nick Krym 05-025-07

Nick Krym 05-25-07 2

Agenda• Collaborative conflict resolution

– Content of a Conflict– Conflict Resolution– Conflict Resolution Tools

• Personality - brief reminder – Temperaments – Personalities – Functions– Emotions

• Homework / Exercises– Jane Kim and Patrick McClain– Ahmad Misra & Walt Davis


Content of a Conflict• Conflicts are a natural part of organizational life, some conflicts could be “productive”

or constructive– Have positive effect on organization– Difference in opinions, approaches– Conflict of organizational interests or role conflicts

• Destructive or disparaging conflicts– Have negative effect on the organization and thus require resolution– Personal– Organizational

• Usually, the destructive conflict occurs under the following circumstances:– All disputants have goals that they cannot achieve on their own – Disputants have to communicate, interact, keep relationships in order to achieve their goals – Each disputant expects from the opponent(s) behavior directed to achievement of this

disputant's goals – Opponent does not know what behavior is expected from her or him, and behaves

according to her or his own goals – This behavior is at variance with expected one – A discrepancy between expected and real opponent's behavior causes bad fillings to the

opponent that result in conflict


Conflict Categories and Attributes• Major types of the conflict

– Conflict over resources (shortage of supply in something - money, attention, equipment, etc.)

– Conflict over needs (need for something – power, self-realization, achievement, etc.)– Conflict over values (clash in values, beliefs)

• Typical reasons for conflicts in organizations– Communication breakdown

• Failure to deliver• Misaligned expectations• Wrong perceptions

– Stress • Spikes • On-going pressure• FUD

– Personality mismatch• Yet another view [NK]

– Dry – a conflict between “Thinking” parties– Wet – a conflict between “Feeling” parties– Soggy – a conflict between “Feeler” and “Thinker”

• Typical reasons for escalation of the conflicts– Denial or ignoring the conflict– Lack of professionalism– Lack of conflict resolution skills


Conflict Resolution• Conflict resolution often requires getting involved parties to

– Understand positions or reasoning of each each other– Making concessions – moving towards each other– Finding a compromise or accepting an opposite view

• Conflict resolution, Template:– Recognize the existence of the conflict– Gather information

• Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict • Expected opponent's behavior • Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's behavior • Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own • This information should be collected from all disputants; however, in some cases, when some

disputant for some reason cannot be asked, her or his point of view might be "reconstructed".– Identify reasons for the conflict– Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise

solution– Seek Win-Win solution– Drive for consensus– Follow up till full closure


Conflict Resolution Tools• Getting to Consensus

– Get emotions out of the way. – Deal with causes not symptoms.– Seek out differences and discuss them to gain understanding of the views. – Get all options or views identified.– Build on commonalities.– Listen attentively.– Maintain proper pace, take breaks when necessary.– Propose alternatives or compromises to settle the differences as needed.– Use problem solving techniques for deep rooted issues.– Use negotiating techniques to find compromise when positions are too far apart.– Make sure that none of the opponents have to “lose face”.– Test consensus with each individual at times to make sure everyone agrees.

• Remember– Under stress the creativity of the participants is significantly impaired– People to not like to solve problems - Being faced with a problem becomes a problem– Walk away solution, however undesirable, might be the best resolution in some cases

• Taboos– Do not get involved in conflicts that do not require your participation or you can not resolve.– Never use methods such as majority vote or coin flips.– Avoid bargaining or rewarding someone's way later because the person went along earlier.– Avoid suggestions – encourage participants to find the solution.– Don’t “take sides” and maintain the “distance”


Homework: Jane and Patrick• Jane’s Temperament

– Clues?

• Jane’s Personality– Clues?

• Patrick’s Temperament– Clues?

• Patrick’s Personality– Clues?

• Provide constructive feedback to Jane.

• Provide constructive feedback to Patrick.


INTJ: The Scientist / The Mastermind• Traits

– Natural leaders, but will follow those they can fully support – Able to absorb extremely complex theoretical and complex

material – Driven to create order and structure from theoretical

abstractions – Supreme strategists – Future-oriented – See the global, "big picture" – Strong insights and intuitions, which they trust implicitly – Value their own opinions over others – Love difficult theoretical challenges – Value knowledge and efficiency – Have very high standards for performance, which they apply

to themselves most strongly – Reserved and detached from others – Calm, collected and analytical – Extremely logical and rational – Original and independent – Creative, ingenious, innovative, and resourceful – Work best alone, and prefer to work alone

• Tips– Communicate in writing and give them adequate time to

reflect / digest. Give the preview of all new facts ahead of meeting for a discussion.

– Portray yourself as competent. Place high value on strategy and overall ideas / impact.

– Do not expect lavish praise for a job well done.– Do not finish their sentences. Hear them out, let them go

through the delivery of their message in the way they organize it.

– Appeal and relay on logic. Do not use personal appeals. – Always get back to big picture or how the topic at hand fits in

the big picture.

• Traps– More interested in understanding a concept rather applying

that concept in a useful way. – May have little interest in the other people’s thoughts or

feelings. – May have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary

for implementing their ideas. – Easily become bored when dealing with mundane routine – May find themselves frequently misunderstood and in these

cases tend to blame others. – Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion – May dismiss others input too quickly and to become

generally arrogant and elitist. – Are not likely to not give much praise or positive support as

others may need or desire. – When under great deal of stress, may become obsessed

with mindless repetitive, sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.

• Tricks– We’ve got a very complicated problem here…– We need a completely original approach.– What’s you opinion?– What are the long-range implications of… ?– With all due respect…


ESTP: The Doer / The Promoter• Traits

– Extremely good at correctly analyzing and assessing other peoples' motives or perspectives.

– Have a special ability to react quickly and effectively to an immediate need, such as in an emergency or crisis situation.

– Action-oriented, live in the present moment – Like to see immediate results for their efforts – Fast-paced and energetic – Flexible and adaptable – Resourceful – Fun to be around – Highly observant – Excellent memory for details – Excellent people skills – Good-natured – Excellent ability to see an immediate problem and quickly

devise a solution – Attracted to adventure and risk

• Tips– Engage the in the process; be prepared for challenging and

good-naturedly confrontational give-and-take.– Lighten up. Make the conversation fun. Don’t misinterpret

their style as lack of interest or support.– Base your reasoning and arguments on pragmatic outcome

you desire. Emphasize practical benefits.– Avoid emotion based appeals.– KISS. Present ideas in straightforward way. – Use plenty of examples, sensory words and action verbs. – Give them options to consider, opportunity to change the the

plan and out clauses.– Appeal to their willingness to take calculated risks.

• Traps– Tend to have their own strong belief in what’s right and

what’s wrong, and will doggedly stick to their principles. – The Rules of the Establishment may hold little value to them. – Can be hurtful to others without being aware of it, as they

generally do not know and may not care about the effect their words have on others.

– They typically make things up as they go along, rather than following a plan.

– Dislike abstract theory without practical application – They are impatient with theory, and see little use for it in

their quest to “get things done”. – Like initiating things but not necessarily following them

through to completion, and might leave those tasks to others.

– Do not typically trust their instincts, and are suspicious of other people’s intuition as well.

• Tricks– I am game if you are.– The sky’s the limit.– What have you got to lose?– You only go around once.– Let’s party!

Nick Krym 05-25-07 10

Jane – Constructive Feedback• Get prepared

– Have facts in hands.– Identify impact.– Identify next steps.

• Deliver the message– Identify the issue or topic of employee

performance issues involved.– Give examples or other evidence in order to

provide the illustration of the issue.– Identify reasons for your evaluation and

impact of the issue.

• Tips on the message delivery (especially important for the Negative Feedback)

– Do not beat around the bush; that is, get to the point and be clear and precise in delivering your message.

– Be assertive and clear, avoid giving mixed or disguised messages.

– Give the feedback in a factual and nonjudgmental manner by stating observable fact / event not interpretations.

– Direct message at Employee Performance not at employee. (Attendance / Work Itself & Tasks / Job-Related Behaviors)

– Genuinely show that you care

• Facilitating The Post-message Discussion– Remember that feedback is a news to a staff

member on what was noticed in an incident(s) of performance.

– State a positive outcome you are seeking and have it be the target or objective for the discussion.

– Let the person know how she or he has done in performance.

– Keep the discussion collaborative, no monologs.

– Ask open-ended questions.– Ask more than you tell.– Listen more than you talk.– Listen proactively, paraphrase, ask follow-on

questions. – Dwell on solutions far more than problems.– Be aware of / maintain the “Distance”– Remember personality traits, tips, and traps.

• We’ve got a very complicated problem here…• We need a completely original approach.• What’s you opinion?• What are the long-range implications of… ?• With all due respect…

Nick Krym 05-25-07 11

Patrick – Constructive Feedback• Get prepared

– Have facts in hands.– Identify impact.– Identify next steps.

• Deliver the message– Identify the issue or topic of employee

performance issues involved.– Give examples or other evidence in order to

provide the illustration of the issue.– Identify reasons for your evaluation and

impact of the issue.

• Tips on the message delivery (especially important for the Negative Feedback)

– Do not beat around the bush; that is, get to the point and be clear and precise in delivering your message.

– Be assertive and clear, avoid giving mixed or disguised messages.

– Give the feedback in a factual and nonjudgmental manner by stating observable fact / event not interpretations.

– Direct message at Employee Performance not at employee. (Attendance / Work Itself & Tasks / Job-Related Behaviors)

– Genuinely show that you care

• Facilitating The Post-message Discussion– Remember that feedback is a news to a staff

member on what was noticed in an incident(s) of performance.

– State a positive outcome you are seeking and have it be the target or objective for the discussion.

– Let the person know how she or he has done in performance.

– Keep the discussion collaborative, no monologs.

– Ask open-ended questions.– Ask more than you tell.– Listen more than you talk.– Listen proactively, paraphrase, ask follow-on

questions. – Dwell on solutions far more than problems.– Be aware of / maintain the “Distance”– Remember personality traits, tips, and traps.

• We’ve got a very complicated problem here…• We need a completely original approach.• What’s you opinion?• What are the long-range implications of… ?• With all due respect…

Nick Krym 05-25-07 12

Homework: Ahmad and Walt• Ahmad’s Temperament

– Clues?

• Ahmad’s Personality– Clues?

• Walt’s Temperament– Clues?

• Walt’s Personality– Clues?

• Who did you select for the transition task? Describe your reasons for selection.

• Delegate the task to the selected candidate.

Nick Krym 05-25-07 13

INTJ: The Scientist / The Mastermind• Traits

– Natural leaders, but will follow those they can fully support – Able to absorb extremely complex theoretical and complex

material – Driven to create order and structure from theoretical

abstractions – Supreme strategists – Future-oriented – See the global, "big picture" – Strong insights and intuitions, which they trust implicitly – Value their own opinions over others – Love difficult theoretical challenges – Value knowledge and efficiency – Have very high standards for performance, which they apply

to themselves most strongly – Reserved and detached from others – Calm, collected and analytical – Extremely logical and rational – Original and independent – Creative, ingenious, innovative, and resourceful – Work best alone, and prefer to work alone

• Tips– Communicate in writing and give them adequate time to

reflect / digest. Give the preview of all new facts ahead of meeting for a discussion.

– Portray yourself as competent. Place high value on strategy and overall ideas / impact.

– Do not expect lavish praise for a job well done.– Do not finish their sentences. Hear them out, let them go

through the delivery of their message in the way they organize it.

– Appeal and relay on logic. Do not use personal appeals. – Always get back to big picture or how the topic at hand fits in

the big picture.

• Traps– More interested in understanding a concept rather applying

that concept in a useful way. – May have little interest in the other people’s thoughts or

feelings. – May have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary

for implementing their ideas. – Easily become bored when dealing with mundane routine – May find themselves frequently misunderstood and in these

cases tend to blame others. – Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion – May dismiss others input too quickly and to become

generally arrogant and elitist. – Are not likely to not give much praise or positive support as

others may need or desire. – When under great deal of stress, may become obsessed

with mindless repetitive, sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.

• Tricks– We’ve got a very complicated problem here…– We need a completely original approach.– What’s you opinion?– What are the long-range implications of… ?– With all due respect…

Nick Krym 05-25-07 14

ISTJ: The Duty Fulfiller / The Inspector• Traits

– Natural leaders with superb level of perseverance.– Excellent organizational skills and power of concentration– Value tradition, security, and peaceful living – Will work long and hard to fulfill duties – Can be depended on to follow things through to completion – Loyal and faithful , family-minded– Stable, practical and down-to-earth – Prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when necessary – Extremely observant, they take in facts via their senses and

store them internally – Vast, rich inner store of facts which they rely on to

understand problems which they encounter in their lives – Profound respect for facts and concrete information – Make decisions objectively, applying logic and rational

thinking – Appreciate structured, orderly environments – Have very high standards for their own behavior and the

behavior of others – Able to accomplish almost anything they put their minds to – Community minded "good citizens" • Tips– Provide plenty of facts and concrete documentation to

support your position– Stress practical application, what it will accomplish, how it

will be done, where it worked before, and what were the results

– One idea at the time, layout all steps and schedule– Give them plenty of time to digest before discussion (send

them your docs beforehand)– No brainstorming, no in-depth discussions before they had

the time to digest– Simplify the messages, avoid complicated explanations– Be objective, logical, realistic– No personal appeals

• Traps– Tend to believe that things should be done only according to

procedures and plans. – May resist putting energy into things which don’t make

sense to them, or for which they can’t see a practical application.

– Dislike change, unless they are shown it's benefit in a concrete way

– Have strong opinions about the way things should be done. May become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything “by the book”.

– May have a difficult time saying “no” when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle.

– Often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.

– May have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective.

– Dislike abstract theory, unless they see the practical application.

– Not naturally in-tune with other people's feelings – Have a tendency to take other people’s efforts for granted. – Under stress, may fall into “catastrophe mode”, where they

see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They may berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. May lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and depress themselves with their visions of doom.

• Tricks– Here’s what worked before.– I have supporting documentation.– If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.– Let’s take it step-by-step.– Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Nick Krym 05-25-07 15

Exercise: Jane Kim and Patrick McClain• Recognize the existence of the conflict

• Gather information– Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict – Expected opponent's behavior – Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's

behavior – Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own – This information should be collected from all disputants; however, in some cases, when

some disputant for some reason cannot be asked, her or his point of view might be "reconstructed".

• Identify reasons for the conflict

• Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise solution

• Seek Win-Win solution

• Drive for consensus

• Follow up till full closure

Nick Krym 05-25-07 16

Jane & Patrick: conflict backgrounder

The stuff is so complex we can’t even install it

And with every new “improvement” it gets more complicated

I am the point person for Sorento

I am the only person who they always call on when they get in troubles

Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own.

Sell more stuff, get some business for all of usDon’t want to be interrupted – i have work to do

Don’t want to hear baseless accusations

Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's behavior.

Give us something that we can use

Don’t teach me how to go about my business just provide darn service

Learn the darn application

Configure the system appropriately and before the sales calls, test it

Stop bugging us on every little occasion, try it out before calling

Give us advance notice before customer visits

Expected opponent's behavior.

Jane has zero people skills and rubs everyone the wrong way

She is so full of herself when in reality she is just a developer with no knowledge of customer needs

She overcomplicates everything and it takes PhD to get through her release notes

She has no clue on how unpredictable and challenging the sales calls could be

Patrick and Scott are incompetent slobs who only have commissions and parties on their minds.

The should not be allowed to the customers on their own.

They went unprepared and thus could not do a simplest thing.

They are so disorganized that most likely they did not have the environment set up in the first place.

Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict.

Patrick (ESTP)Jane (INTJ)Information Category

Nick Krym 05-25-07 17

Jane & Patrick: conflict resolution • Identify reasons for the conflict.

– What are the reasons for the conflict?

• Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise solution

– For each of the reasons decide whether you solve the problem, reconcile the difference, or negotiate a compromise

– Define action and method of approach

– Seek Win-Win solution

– Drive for consensus

– Make a record

• Follow up till full closure

12/03Set up lead time expectations YNLead time conflict

11/27

Follow Up

Explain the expectations / roles

Action

YRUnderstanding of roles

Win-WinSolve / Reconcile / Negotiate

Reason for conflict

Nick Krym 05-25-07 18

Conflict Resolution: Personal Tips• Extraverts: Stop and listen.

Extraverts think they can talk their way out of any situation. The key to conflict management for extraverts is to occasionally take a time out from talking and listen to what others are saying.

• Introverts: Speak up.Introverts need to get their side of the story out in the open. As difficult as it is for introverts to speak up at meetings, it is imperative to ensure conflict resolution.

• Sensors: Look beyond the facts.Sensors need to occasionally look beyond the obvious facts and consider extenuating circumstances.

• Intuitives: Stick to the issues.Intuitives want to always look at the big picture. A bit of focus goes a long way in resolving simple conflicts.

• Thinkers: Emotion is not always bad.Thinkers must allow others to express emotion, even if they are unable to do so. Emotions are an integral part of conflict resolution.

• Feelers: Be firm.Feelers should not apologize for showing emotion. At the same time, they must occasionally say something frank, or even mean. People will respect their honesty.

• Judgers: Don't be a know-it-all.Judgers must learn to accept the fact that the world is not always black and white. They must learn to entertain points of view other than their own.

• Perceivers: Pick one side of the fence.Perceivers have both the blessing and the curse of being able to see all sides of an argument. A devil's advocate is sometimes counterproductive in conflict resolution. Ps should learn to defend the position about which they feel most strongly.

team management iii - conflict resolution

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