sym-zonia -- shipwreck !!

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SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR GOLDENGATE’S for February 17, 2013 SHIPWRECK! NO – wait … !!! The “LAST LOG” of the DESDEMONA – CAN YOU CRACK …. the CODE ? But first…. !!!

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Page 1: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR

GOLDENGATE’S

for February 17, 2013

SHIPWRECK!

NO – wait … !!!

The “LAST LOG” of the DESDEMONA – CAN YOU CRACK …. the CODE ?

But first…. !!!

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From the desk of ….

PLAYERS!! Welcome!! Welcome to the special, super-charged SHIPWRECK! Issue of S.Y.M.-Zonia™

Heavens to Mergutroid !!!

And …Wowee!!! Well… Players, before we roll out This Week’s issue, I just want to take a moment to re-assure you all, that the Meteor DA-14 has passed safely -- THIS TIME!!! -- By Planet Earth !!! Phew!! That was a close-one!!! But it gives me the opportunity to re-affirm the role that S.Y.M.-Zonia™ has played over the last year and more in generating METEORITE AWARENESS, through our close co-operation with one of the last remaining free newspapers on the Southern Oregon Coast, the Langlois Ledger…. which UNIQUELY covered the story of a suspected METEORITE impact at Port Orford, on the night of October 31, 2011 – HALLOWEEN! of Last Year!! Many of you will still remember the disastrous results of that suspected strike!!! .. which is blamed by most as the cause of the mysterious fire which broke out in the reading room of the law offices of Smith Hubbard & Tichenor, LLP -- -- otherwise known as SH&T, LLP – that same night: carrying in its wake, many unforeseen consequences for the community: perhaps the most significant of which, was the discovery of the remains of the INDIAN MUMMY in secret compartment of the SH&T, LLP library!!!! Which remains were now slightly charred by the mysterious fire …

WELL, Players!! Now This Week, with the METEOR impact in Russia, and the Close FLYBY of Asteroid DA-14—you KNOW, Players, that there is only one place to turn for METEORITE NEWS!!, and that’s the Langlois Ledger! And S.Y.M.-Zonia™ …. of course!!! We had the story first Yes!!! We’ve still got it covered!!!

And, the Port Orford Meteorite (II) story continues today, as the Ledger’s correspondent S.E.“S.”(S.) Beckon travels to the shores of SHOALWATER BAY (Washington) to investigate the FACTS behind the original legend of the Mysterious Indian Mummy, and J. G. Swan’s story, that the said INDIAN MUMMY was found in an Indian Burial Canoe on the unique promontory known as “Stoney Point”… on the Donation Land Claim of Capt. J.C.W. Russell – the same brigand who later claimed to have discovered the Mummy, and then pirated it from Stoney Point, absconded with it, and sailed it down to San Francisco (California) for commercial exploitation, by exhibit – FOR A FEE!!!

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PLAYERS!! Should you be in need of a REFRESHER on some of the details of this story, you may refer to the MUMMY issue [Otherwise known as Who was the Celebrated Scientist Who Certified the Authenticity of the Mysterious Indian Mummy of Shoalwater Bay, (Washington)? (Sept. 17, 20112) – Ed.] – and the solution thereto, which ran in the DEAD LETTERS issue on HALLOWEEN Or… You can simply Gargle up a copy of J.G. Swan’s book, Three Years Residence in Washington …. and read Chapter VI, at pp. 67, ff. !!! Wowee!!

!

BUT FIRST … The story goes, that a group of Swan’s rowdy emigrant friends, were exploring the neighborhood of Stoney Point, on the D.L.C. of Capt. Russell, when they stumbled their way through the brush, and same upon a ceremonial burial canoe of the type the Native Americans used as a sort of cedar, camphor-impregnated, mausoleum for the honorable disposition of human remains, aka DEAD BODIES. These were not infrequently examined by the Whites, “in the interest of science” of course, and also not infrequently plundered for saleable curios, and artifacts, quite often for pecuniary gain – but also – let’s face it – because the Whites found everything associated with the Indians, to be very, very cool.

Now, in this case, when the burial canoe was opened to examine the remains inside, it was found by Swan, Russell and their company, that the body of the Indian within was in a state of perfect preservation, of the kind recorded in, e.g., the Middle English poem St. Erkenwald -- which tells the story of the discovery of body of a pagan, pre-Christian judge – a Welshman, or an Englishman, probably -- whose remains -- once his coffin was pried open by the curious – were also found to be in a perfect state of preservation – considered a divine miracle at the time!!! Wowee!!! PLAYERS!!! I mean …. literally ….. Wowee!!!

Well, Swan reported that the body of the Indian Mummy, was not alone, but that there were two small skeletons concealed with him in the canoe – which were completely dessicated, and bare-bones: all of which may tend toward the conclusion that the preservation of the MUMMY, was NOT after all the result of a secret accomplishment of the embalmer’s arts, but was, rather, something on the order of … a miracle!!! And so, if such is the case, Players, Capt. Russell was not merely mis-handling a corpse, but trafficking in SACRED RELICS !!! Which would not necessarily be a good idea .. even at 50 cents a head !! The word “simony” comes to mind!!

BUT -- Players!! How would we ever know? How, at this point -- at a remove of some 150 years since the taking of the Indian Mummy to San Francisco, could such an undetermined issue possibly be resolved??? RIGHT!!! Only by a Special Correspondent to the Langlois Ledger , none other than S.E.“S.”(S.) Beckon -- who has been following the story of the INDIAN MUMMY since the night the Port Orford meteorite (II) struck, …. and recently filed … this report:

Page 4: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

IN THE NEWS …

Page 5: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

PLAYERS – NOTE: Unfortunately, I don’t have room to run page 3 of the Ledger This Week!! However, as I mentioned, the reason for this is because I have received a personal communication from the Ledger’s own correspondent, Sarah Elizabeth Beckon herself , which I am publishing immediately below, in our regular section ….. well-known as …

Page 6: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

FROM THE MAILBAG

PLAYERS!!! Along with the Special Delivery of the Feb. 2 , 2013 number of the Langlois Ledger, [Above – Ed.] our friendly mailman, Dak, brought with him to us, here at Unit D-37, a CRRR envelope [Now called USPS Tracking -- Ed.] also postmarked Langlois (Oregon) !!! and enclosing a short, single-spaced handwritten note and a number of striking photographs, quite evidently of the same low promontory as identified in last week’s Ledger, as Stoney Point [Swan’s old spelling – Ed.] (Washington) : the very location where was once found the burial canoe of the Mysterious Indian Mummy of Shoalwater Bay!!! See for yourselves!!!!! It’s OKAY!!! He’s not there anymore !!!!

PLAYERS!!! The name “Stoney Point” [The “e” of “Stoney” is silent in this old spelling! Don’t pronounce it! – Ed.] now makes perfect sense!! Sarah Elizabeth explains it in her note!! It is uniquely at this point -- and nowhere else on the Bay --that a strata of blocky basalt stones is -- by the relentless tidal storm surge -- being gradually eroded out of the cliffs of sedimentary clay layers along the western shores of the bay, and strewn across the shoreline, leaving a UNIQUE beach of very significant boulders -- as, meanwhile, that erosion, keeps pushing, pushing the cliff back, farther and farther to the East –

EXcEPT !!! Yes… everywhere except … here:

Page 7: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

EXCEPT for this prominent hummock, at the very westernmost end of the land at Stoney Point, and even beyond it: a strange tower: a pillar of clay, the existence of which – separated from the main landmass of Stoney Point with the effects of wild marine erosion being evident everywhere around it – can hardly be explained conventionally, as the result of strictly “natural forces” !!! Like the Mysterious Indian Mummy itself, it appears that some preternatural operation has enabled this … bier of CLAY to weather the onslaught of the storm surge and tidal erosion, that has eaten away at the base of Stoney Point for generations since the Mummy was removed ..

By what action could this small tower of clay withstand a hundred and fifty years of battering by storm and sea?? PLAYERS!!

Your call! [ It looks like the head of a giant Indian emerging from the earth -- head-dress and all!– Ed.] [Wowee!! weird -- Ed.]

NOW ….. where was I? [Weird …] OH YES! I’m quite sure …

The SHIPWRECK ISSUE of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ …..

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RIGHT. Back to the present!!!! It’s another surprising, jam-packed week, in which we have to cover not just ONE ship’s log, cluttered with passages of ENCRYPTED TEXT – namely the Last Log of the Desdemona --- but TWO!!! YES!! The Eagle’s Wing Log is also affected!! Look inside!!!

That’s correct: It’s like a double-header! Or, like a twin-masted SCHOONER !! Permit me to take a moment to explain…

This Week’s issue is itself almost like a Ghost Ship …undersail again

The SHIPWRECK! Issue you now hold in your hands, has been quite some time in coming. It was originally prepared – at least in part – by the illustrious, late, lamented Edmund E. Elmendorf, VI, of happy memory: the erstwhile original editor of the illustrious old P.Y.M ™ PUZZLER, and who -- by a sad & very, very strange sequence of sinister crimes -- is our own predecessor behind the Editorial Desk. [Players – check your back issues: I’ve got to keep this moving!! – Ed.]

At any rate: this issue – or a template thereof -- was originally queued to run during the spring of 2011 -- March 31, 2011 ; YES – almost two full years ago!! Can you believe it? Is it even possible? Naturally, the graphics department at the old PUZZLER had worked up “layouts” for the issue: planning to present Elmendorf’s inimitable analysis, but –being Union & lacking all originality – did so in that clunky format coupled with those crude pictograms that had become the hallmark of the PUZZLER, and were really half it’s charm. YES: The P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER: Remember finding that in your mail-box …[Then, later, your e-mail box? –Ed.] Remember opening it? [Don’t laugh Impolite! – Ed.]

It was not unlike going outside on a Saturday afternoon in June, and flinging yourself back on the bench-seat of your Dad’s old Rambler, parked in the drive, only to find that the lipstick-red vinyl had gotten REALLY, REALLY HOT sitting there in the sun for a couple hours – but… there was a delayed effect: it just took a half a minute for all that heat to penetrate your jeans, & your T-shirt, and your hair … and burn the Smith Hubbard & Tichenor out of you… !! Holy Crap!! Better hope no-one saw you LIGHT OUT of there, boy-oh-boy!! Make sure none of your friends were watching … Or your little sister… But by then! Players!!! It was of course WAY TOO LATE!! And you clothes felt like they were literally on fire and – whether anybody might be watching or not -- you had to jig a little jiggy-jig dance to keep the denim material, and your T-shirt, from contacting your skin. OWEEEeeee!!! THAT’s how the old P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER was, wasn’t it? You always thought it was a friendly, welcoming back-seat for your mind, and you would sit down on it .. just for a minute or two … and relax … and then …. And THEN ……. YES!! It was like being tricked into swallowing your first habanero – whole!!! Or like the neighbor kid offering you a drink of his cola, if you’d stare directly into the sun itself!! And you DID!!! And the after-image it created, was like an enduring retinal-burn on your brain …

It might never go away. Remember? YES!!! You might try and … blink it away!!! -- -- >blink< > blink< ….but it only seems … to become… >blink< … > blink< … Oh NO!!! Even more fixed!!! >blink< > blink< Players! YOU KNOW THEN that you may be SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! Yes: the P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER was like that!! What can I say: it was a different era. People routinely took wild, unjustified risks!!! But, we’ve fixed things a bit since then of course. Added lots of safety features: road-signs, pointers, & outright warnings, viz:

“YOU ARE NOW ENTERING S.Y.M.-ZONIA™”

and all that.. Plus extra clues !!! Well, at any rate, as illustrated here, the original SHIPWRECKED issue was … SPIKED!!! As you, Players, were able to see, in the SPIKED!! Issue [See, December 31, 2011 – Ed.], that ritually crapped-off each … [Oops!! Spell-czech ; ON!!! ] capped-off each year at the PUZZLER.. Wowee!!! Which is precisely why I’m reaching back onto the back shelf, here at Unit D-37, Payless Self-Storage, fumbling around in Dromgoole’s Hefty storage bag – all that survived the arson in the Belmont (California) Motel 6, Unit 11 – which lead eventually to Dromgoole’s arrest and prosecution therefore, and his removal…. BUT WAIT, PLAYERS… I digress. Because, imminently…

Page 9: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING

The LAST LOG of the DESDEMONA CAN YOU CRACK …. the CODE ?

SO …PLAYERS!! If you really read the story of finding of the Indian Mummy at Shoalwater Bay, as recounted by J.G. Swan, in Chapt. VI of his book, Three Years Residence… etc.etc. you might notice that the story begins at one “Stoney Point” on Shoalwater Bay, but seems to end at ANOTHER “Stoney Point” -- this one on the Columbia River!! There’s a relevant Indian myth, sandwiched in between, and an illustration of EACH Stoney Point! This second Stoney Point is still in Washington State, yes! But it’s on the River, not the bay.. This Stoney Point is more conventionally stony: a lava flow, near the town of Chinook (Washington) ( and very close to Chinook Point) --

Looking west towards “Stoney Point” on Hwy 101 -- -- In the far background, Cape Disappointment …

… over which can be found the magnificent remains of the U.S. Army’s Fort Columbia – now a valuable link in the Washington State Park system… If you haven’t been there, well …. Players!!

HOWEVER: for present purposes, the point of this other Stoney Point, is that it … points across the Columbia river – more or less -- to a mammoth sand bar in the middle of the Columbia, off Astoria (Oregon) – formerly known as the Middle Sands, but now as Desdemona Sands – in view of the shipwreck of the bark Desdemona, which ran aground here on the night of December 31, 1856 to January 1, 1857 … under the command of Capt. Francis Williams …

Desdemona Sands in the middle of the Columbia river: here exposed at low tide. The “Astoria-Megler” Bridge is shown, traversed by motorists fleeing from Washington State ! [But certainly NOT returning to Oregon with recreational pot, where that’s illegal !!! – Ed.]

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The bark Desdemona -- 104 ft long, 25 ft. beam -was early on the Columbia river (ca. 1850) working the coasting trade during the Gold Rush, on a regular route, usually running between St. Helens (Oregon) and San Francisco, (California), as one of a small fleet of vessels owned by the firm of Geo. Abernethy & Co., of Oregon City (Oregon). PLAYERS!! You may remember Prov. Gov. Abernethy from the INJUNS! issue! He resigned his office as Oregon’s first and only provisional era Governor, shortly after the outbreak of INDIAN WARS in 1848, when, in 1849, Oregon became an official U. S. Territory!! Wowee!! Abernethy continued his sideline of shipping, and later partnered with William S. Clark, to form Abernethy & Clark: his new partner being none other than he who had constructed Clark’s wharf, running off Clark’s Point, in San Francisco. Geo. Abernethy’s son operated a saw mill at Oak Point, (Washington) and provided lumber into the booming San Francisco building market…. Once the lumber was unloaded in San Francisco, Abernethy & Clarke vessels like the bark Desdemona, were loaded with fancy finished goods that had been shipped into San Francisco from the manufacturing centers of the East Coast. These goods were then sailed up the coast to Astoria, and thence upriver on the Columbia and the Willamette Rivers, to Oregon City – where such manufactures were in very high demand.. As can be seen from this rare Abernethy & Co. broadside, which was posted in Oregon City, where goods were sold directly off the Desdemona, moored at the dock. Undersail, the Desdemona would have showed the private mercantile flag of Abernethy, Clark & Co.

Clark’s wharf was the FIRST commercial wharf built at San Francisco (California) – so the partnership of the two men was a powerful one. In fact, Clark’s wharf was constructed in 1847 – when California was still under a U.S. military occupation government, and the city was still known as Yerba Buena. [Trans: “Good weed,” per Birdman!! – Ed.]

Clark’s Wharf appears on a few old maps of San Francisco, including LeCount’s map (1859), where it is apparently identified with Vallejo Street which was laid out 2 years later, when the city was surveyed. And that brings us … up to the minute!!! Now for This Week’s … S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !!

Page 11: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

The Desdemona’s “Last Logbook”* !!

*DISCLAIMER -- Above: Page 1 of the “Last Log”!!!

Players!! Just a brief disclaimer!!! This is not really the LAST logbook for the Desdemona – it’s just the last one I could find !!! [ Yes: It’s at the elusive and exclusive WTF Archive!!! – Ed] It’s from Nov.-Dec. 1855-1856, and that’s almost exactly one [(1) – Ed.] year before that fateful voyage, on which the Desdemona ran aground on the Middle Sands, in that tragic SHIPWRECK! from which – luckily -- nearly everyone survived!! OKAY: Everyone survived. Yes… its just a tidal flat. Yes: it was probably pretty embarrassing for Capt. Williams, when he ran the Desdemona right up there onto the Middle Sands, where all old salts and brash young sailors in Astoria, could watch him, stranded, and shake their heads, and … chuckle derisively into their beards… as the ship gradually fell to pieces, and …over the next few years … eventually sank into the sands. Desdemona Sands! Yes – the name was an inside joke. OKAY! This is not the Voyage of the Titanic. I never said it was! Just a little merchant bark, grounded on a sandbar.

I also want to say, that this is not really the Desdemona’s “log” book, but is really just the shipmaster’s journal … RIGHT: This being just a quick merchant run, there probably was not a real official “log” book per se, but just this little throwaway shipmaster’s journal, which the Master, Henry Fairley, maintained – though in quite a neat hand -- during this voyage, in this cheap little “MAYHEW’S ACCOUNT BOOK” which – we may suppose – was provided to him out of the largesse of Abernethy Clark & Co. But I tried the title …

“The-Next-to-the-Next-to-the-Last Shipmaster’s Journal of the Bark Desdemona – Can You Crack the Code?”

It lost something …. So, that’s why “Last Log” appears in quotation marks [“Like this!” – Ed.] This Week!! So … there! That’s the facts. Now here’s the issue … for This Week’s S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !!

Page 12: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

PLAYERS!!! According to her “Last Log”, the voyage of the bark Desdemona was comparatively routine -- even uneventful, though not evidently unremarkable!!! As you can see from the first page [ Last page – Ed.], the Desdemona got underway from Abernethy’s mills at Oak Point (Washington) on November 9, 1855, when – after the deck load was tied down -- the pilot finally arrived, and they swung the vessel out into the current .. and! Well, Players, there was no turning back from the fate awaiting them all !! It took a few days to get downriver to the mouth of the Columbia, and a few more, until they could cross Columbia river bar. As they approached the bar, Capt. Fairley noted in his “log book” a number of other vessels heading out to see, like the Ocean Bird, the Metropolis, the Matthew Vassar, etc.

Indeed, although to sail south this time of year meant the Desdemona was working against a stiff headwind, nevertheless, everything seemed to go normally. That is, until, on November 30th – almost 20 days after leaving Oak Point -- as the Desdemona approached the Farallone Islands [ The “Farallones” to the experienced seamen! – Ed.] – Capt. Fairley caught sight of a strange sail, which he first mistook for – oops: I mean, identified as – the Matthew Vassar.. … PLAYERS!!! It was at this point that Capt. Fairley was overcome with a desire to express himself in a very QUEER CRYPTOGRAM!! Yes!! That’s a kind of SECRET WRITING – a cypher. Like a CODE! Here’s the page with some of my helpful notes ….

My Helpful Notes

strange strikeouts & the Matthew Vassar Handwriting changes!!

“Friday” is here mis-spelled. But why?

HERE! Players… This passage of text may in fact be encoded swear words that Capt Fairley didn’t want his employer to read!!!

What do you think?

Suspicious smudge

Click-to-Enlarge!

More ships!!

Bark Desdemona finally “docks” in S.F. - aground at Abernethy & Clark’s wharf at the foot of Vallejo Street ?

Page 13: SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!

Here’s that passage again. Note that the first and last word appear to be the same!!! And there are other repetitions!!

Good luck!! That’s only about 13 words of encrypted text – and NINE if you count out the repetitions!!

WAIT!! Players. I remember… some of you are Code-shy!! Yes. I’m remembering the DEAD LETTERS issue, which remains UNSOLVED even almost 4 months later!!! Quite disturbing. Are you sure you’ve got what it takes for this HIGH CAPACITY MAGAZINE? Yes? Okay….. But … do you think you could use a little help here, hmmmm?

Definitely.

OKAY: So, Abernethy & Clark had some other vessels working the coasting trade. One of these was the Eagle Wings. On this voyage from Boston to San Francisco, departing the Boston wharf on Dec. 20, 1853, the Eagle Wings was captained – or mastered -- by E.H. Linnett: like the bird. He kept a ship’s log, in another blank “courtesy copy” of MAYHEW’S ACCOUNT BOOK – but his handwriting was not so good as Capt. Fairley’s. Nevertheless, he made very good time, despite a series of storms, and some damage to the rigging, and loss of the main topmast staysail, and suchlike – and arrived in San Francisco on March 12, 1854 !! as you can read, in his journal -- there in the elusive WTF archive !!

Wowee!! It’s the torn one . I did not do it … [ intentionally …]

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Capt. Linnett of the Eagle Wings also made a rough chart of his track from Boston to San Francisco, and then – evidently – continuing on to Astoria (Oregon), although this leg of the voyage is not documented in the Ship’s Log. That chart he included in the Log, when he turned it in to the main business office of Abernethy & Clark (presumably).

BUT WAIT!! PLAYERS!!

Do you see what I see? Coded text in the journal of the Eagle Wings?

It’s there!! Only it’s a whole different cipher!!

Linnet’s chart is useful for identifying the ports that the Eagle Wings called at, en route from Boston to San Francisco…

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UH-OH!!! More code? Now, Players, of course, that in itself is not so helpful. But ... THIS is !!! Because on one page of his log book, or Shipmaster’s Journal for the Voyage of the Eagle Wings, Capt. Linnett added some more passages in his secret cipher – BUT!!! Some diligent code-breaker came along at a later date – maybe someone in the Abernethy & Clark business office – and cracked the code for you !! There it is – in faint pencil notations at the bottom of the page! See it?

HERE ...

OKAY! Got it? PLAYERS – Do you think you can handle it from here? Believe me … it’s no SUPERIDDLE!! OKAY: Now, using the ABOVE KEY [Presumably accurate !! – Ed.] provided by some well-intentioned Ancient Mariner, to the encrypted text of the Shipmaster’s Journal for the Eagle Wings, you can “mount up on Eagle Wings,” so to speak, and decipher Linnett’s encrypted text !!! And then -- once you’ve successfully accomplished that task – then, by tapping into your newly acquired de-coding aptitude, you can “fly with you own wings” and turn your attention, at long last, to the NINE ENCODED WORDS of the “Last Log” of the Desdemona ! CAN YOU DO IT? YES!!! YOU CAN!!! AND YOU’D BETTER!!!! Because ….

YOU ARE NOW LEAVING

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