swami’s teachings on communicationsathyasai.org/news/2013/2013_08-03presentationon... · loving...
TRANSCRIPT
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Communications
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Objective
• Improve our communication with family members, friends, colleagues, clients, and everyone we meet.
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How are going to do this?
• Remembering who we are speaking to
• Remembering and putting into practice Swami’s teachings on communication
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Action Speaks Louder than Words
• Free medical care – Sathya Sai Medical Institutions
• Free education - Sathya Sai Schools and Universities
• Free drinking water projects
• Inspired millions of people around the world to provide many other humanitarian service projects
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Swami’s teachings
• Lead by example - Love all, serve allHelp ever, hurt never
• First Understanding, Then Adjustment
• You cannot always oblige, however you can always speak obligingly
• Value of a smile
• Communication via email
• How to handle conflict and make an apology
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Words of Wisdom
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
-Dr. Maya Angelou
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Power of Smile
• When we smile…love bubbles up in us.
• Best way to make a heart to heart connection
• Universal Language
• The only language is the language of the heart
• ABC – Always Be Cheerful
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Before we speak, THINKS
• T Is it True?
• H Will it Hurt anyone?
• I Will it Improve on the silence?”
• N Is it Necessary?
• K Is it Kind and Helpful?
• S Is it Short, Soft and Sweet
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The bond of love and brotherliness will be stronger if people would speak less and speak sweetly. Silence (mounam) has been prescribed as a spiritual practice, for this same reason.
Only in the depth of silence the voice of God can be heard.
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4 things the tongue can do
• The tongue is liable to four big errors1. Uttering falsehood
2. Finding fault with others
3. Excessive speech and
4. Indulging in scandals.
• These have to be strictly avoided if there is to be peace for the individual and society
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When we find faults in others
• Good chance we have this fault in us
• Should see good in others and look for faults in ourselves
• Should be lenient when judging others, harsh when judging our own actions
• Judge not so that you will not be judged
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First Understanding, Then Adjustment
First Understanding 1. Listening patiently
2. Non verbal cues
3. Heart to heart
4. Active listening – empathic statements
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First Understanding, Then Adjustment
Then adjustment – our response1. Demonstrate empathy
2. Offering to help “How can I help? Would you like help…?”
3. Loving Service
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Two things we should forget
• The good we have done for others
• The harm that others have done to us
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Make a Heart to Heart Connection
• Listen carefully
• Focused
• Fully present in the moment
• Patient
• Humble
• Respectful
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How to give advice
• Give advice only when asked for
• Keep it short and simple
• Be patient …..
• Give critical feedback in private
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How to receive criticism
• Don’t react to the criticism, but act to correct the fault
• God is testing us. Maintain equanimity
• This criticism may be true, in this case we should be grateful to the person who is criticizing us !!!
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Avoid using “But” as a connector after a positive comment
• Yes, but …
• Is judgmental
• Can be interpreted as not respecting another’s opinion
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What to do when dealing with a person who is angry or upset
• Sometimes just being quiet and listening is all that is required
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How to make an apology
• Keep it short and sweet
• Don’t explain in great detail
• or make excuses
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How to make an apologywhen you really are in hot water
• I am sorry
• I made a mistake
• Please forgive me
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Email Pearls of Wisdom
• Email is a great way to share information
• Email is not a good way to resolve conflict
• Should not say anything negative in email
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Sharing information
• Subject line well thought out, main point
• Send to everyone who needs to know
• Don’t send to people who don’t need to know
• Forwarding emails – new topic change the subject line
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Sharing Information
• Few bullet points
• Short and to the point
• Should have all basic information: for example if sharing info about an event, name, date, location, timing, link to registration etc
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Not a good way to resolve conflict
• Best to do in person
• Next best option is to speak on the phone
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Email Etiquette
• Don’t share official Sai org email lists
• Blind copy with long list to respect privacy
• Be careful about hitting reply all
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Take home point
• If love is the basis of all our communication, we will automatically be a better communicator
• We should act and speak with love, do our best, and leave the outcome in God’s hands
• Loving communication is a sure path to Peace of Mind