strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. attraction based on sexual...

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

Attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers.

Affections based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

What is love

Love at first sight?

Is Love an Art?Erich Fromm

Then it requires knowledge and effort.

Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experiences is a matter of chance, something one "falls into" if one is lucky?


Not that people think that love is not important. They are starved for it; yet hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love.


Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved , rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love. Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable.


Many of the ways to make oneself lovable are the same as those used to make oneself successful, "to win friends and influence people."

As a matter of fact, what most people in our culture mean being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.


In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths. One, which is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful and rich as the social margin of one's position permits.


Another, used especially by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one's body, dress, etc.


Other ways of making oneself attractive used both by men and women, are to develop pleasant manners, interesting conversation, to be helpful, modest, inoffensive.


There is nothing to be learned about love is the assumption that the problem of love is the problem of an object, not the problem of a faculty. People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love - or to be loved by - is difficult.


Our whole culture is based on the appetite for buying. Modern man’s happiness consists in the thrill of looking at the shop windows and in buying all that he can afford. He/she look at people in a similar way.


There is another error leading to the assumption that there is nothing to be learned about love lies in the confusion between the initial experience of falling in love, and the permanent state of being in love, or as we might better say, of "standing" in love.


This miracle of sudden intimacy is often facilitated if it is combined with, or initiated by, sexual attraction and consummation. However, this type of love is by its very nature not lasting


This attitude - that nothing is easier than to love - has continued to be the prevalent idea about love in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.


So what to do?

The first step to take is to become aware that love is an art, just as living is an art; if we want to learn how to love we must proceed in the same way we have to proceed if we want to learn any other art, say music, painting, carpentry, or the art of medicine or engineering.


The process of learning an art can be divided conveniently into two parts: one, the mastery of the theory, the other, the mastery of the practice. If I want to learn the art of medicine, I must first know the facts about the human body, and about various diseases. When I have all this theoretical knowledge, I am by no means competent in the art of medicine.


But, aside from learning the theory and practice, there is a third factor necessary to becoming a master in any art - the mastery of the art must be a matter of ultimate concern; there must be nothing else in the world more important that the art. This holds true for music, for medicine, for carpentry - and for love.


Affectionate Maturity

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.'

Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'


Love has to be free.

If you love something, set it free.If it returns to you,it is yours.If it doesn’t,it never

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality TimeIn the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom.

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.

Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another

Gottfried von Liebnitz

To love is not to find what you lack in order to fulfill your life.

To love is to give what you have in order to contribute to another’s life fulfillment.

Jesus

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John, 15,13)

Happy Valentine Day

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