strategic living seminar full
TRANSCRIPT
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Strategic Living
...because life is not an accident
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Seminar Outline
1. Accidental & Strategic Living
2. What is mental health?
3. How can things go wrong?
4. Ideas & Strategies
5. The Health Motivations Quadrant
6. Vehicles & Education
7. Where to from here?
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Three Foundational Ideas
1. Everyone wants to be happy
2. Everyone is doing the best they know how
3. Very few people are as happy as they would like to be
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1. Accidental vs Strategic Living
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Think back 10 years...
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2. What is mental health?
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Brain or mind?
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7 Effectiveness Habits: Independence
The First Three Habits surround moving from dependence to independence (i.e., self-mastery):
Habit 1: Be ProactiveTake initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with
life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the consequences that follow.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in MindSelf-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals.
Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.
Habit 3: Put First Things FirstA manager must manage his own person. Personally. And managers should
implement activities that aim to reach the second habit. Covey says that rule two is the mental creation; rule three is the physical creation.
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7 Effectiveness Habits: Interdependence
The next three habits talk about Interdependence (e.g. working with others):
Habit 4: Think Win-WinGenuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in
your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had got his way.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodUse empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which
compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem solving.
Habit 6: SynergizeCombine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to
achieve goals no one person could have done alone.
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7 Effectiveness Habits: Continuous Improvement
The final habit is that of continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence.
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, prayer (meditation, yoga, etc.) and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.
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The Importance of Balance
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Balance in Life
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Deficits or Assets?
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Benjamin Franklin
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Assets-Based Approaches
• Not concerned with diagnosing and treating disease
• Measuring health
• Predictive capacity
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The Developmental Assets Framework www.search-institute.org
External Assets• Support• Empowerment• Boundaries and Expectations• Constructive Use of Time
Internal Assets• Commitment to Learning• Positive Values• Social Competencies• Positive Identity
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Assets in the Real World
0–10 Assets
15%
31–40 Assets
9%21–30
Assets
35%
11–20
Assets
41%
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The Power of Assets to Promote
11%
27%
38%
80%
26%
49%
73%
91%
0%
10%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
70%
80%
90%
100%
0-10 11-20 21-30 31-40
Succeeds in School
Maintains Good Health
51% A's
80%A's& B's
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The Power of Assets to Protect
58%
34%
16%
5%
56%
26%
10%
2%
50%
24%
8%
2%
28%
8%
4%2%
11%
4%2% 1%
0%
10%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
70%
80%
90%
100%
0-10 11-20 21-30 31-40
Number of Assets
Alcohol
Tobacco
Marijuana
School Truancy
Eating Disorder
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Conflict Resolution
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Conflict Styles
• Withdrawing
• Forcing
• Smoothing
• Compromising
• Confronting
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Withdrawing (avoiding)
• Withdraws into shell to avoid conflicts
• Gives up their personal goals and relationships
• Stays away from the issues over which conflict is taking place and from
the people they are in conflict with
• Believes it is hopeless to try to resolve conflicts, feels helpless
• Believes it is easier to withdraw – physically and psychologically – from a
conflict than face it.
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Forcing (competing)
• Tries to overpower opponents - forcing
them to accept their solution
• Their own goals highly important to them -
relationships of minor importance
• Seeks to achieve goals at all costs -
not concerned with needs of others
• Doesn’t care if others like or accept him/her
• Assumes conflicts settled by one winning and one losing -
wants to be the winner
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Forcing (competing)
• Winning gives a sense of pride and achievement
• Losing gives a sense of weakness, inadequacy
and failure
• Tries to win by attacking, overpowering,
overwhelming and intimidating other.
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Smoothing (accommodating)
• Considers the relationship is of great importance
and their goals of little importance
• Wants to be accepted and liked by other
• Thinks conflict should be avoided in favour of harmony and that people
can’t discuss conflicts without damaging relationships
• Afraid that if conflict continues someone will be hurt and that will ruin the
relationship
• Gives up their goals to preserve the relationship
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Compromising
• Moderately concerned with their own goals
and their relationship with others
• Seeks a compromise – gives up part of their goals and persuades the
other person in a conflict to give up part of their goals
• Seeks a conflict situation in which both sides gain something – the middle
ground between the two extreme positions
• Willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find
agreement for the common good.
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Confronting (collaborating)
• Highly values own goals and relationships
• See conflicts as a problem to be solved
• Seeks a solution that achieves both their own goals and the goals of the
other person
• See conflicts as means of improving relationships by reducing tension
between two people
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Confronting
• Tries to begin a discussion that identifies the conflict as a
problem
• Seeks solutions that satisfy both themselves and the other
person – hence maintaining the relationship
• Not satisfied until they have found a solution that achieves
their own goals and the other person’s goals
• Not satisfied until the tensions and negative feeling have
been fully resolved.
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Conflict Grid
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8 Pillars of Optimal Health
1. Reduce your risk factors for chronic diseaseWeight, blood pressure, blood sugar
2. ExerciseIncidental (eg 10,000 steps )
3. Good macronutritionProtein, carbohydrates, good fats
4. Good micronutritionVitamins, minerals, phytonutrients
5. Mind, spirit and positive attitudeMeditation, religion, whatever!
6. Adequate restTips for a good night’s sleep
7. Good medical careBuild a good team
8. Healthy Environment and good hygiene, adequate waterYeah, right!
Duke Johnson, MD. 2008 The Optimal Health Revolution. Dallas, TX, USA: BenBella Books, Inc
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3. How can things go wrong?
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Holmes and Rahe stress scale
How much stress is too much?
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Stress, Vulnerability, and Resilience
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Risk Factors & Protective Factors
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Addictions?
Self-medication
Correlation is not cause
Triggering
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Substance use
• Usually occurs in a social context
– alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, illicits
• Self-medication is perceived to be effective
– anxiety, tension, and general dysphoria
• Alcohol and cannabis most frequently abused
– political significance eg. “war on drugs”
• Use does not equal abuse
– social, occupational, or physical sequelae
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SUBSTANCE ABUSEPSYCHIATRIC CRITERIA
• Failure to fulfil major role obligations related to substance use;
» or
• Recurrent substance use in physically hazardous situations;
» or
• Recurrent substance related legal problems;» or
• Continued substance use despite recurrent and persistent social or interpersonal problems.
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SUBSTANCE DEPENDENCEPSYCHIATRIC CRITERIA (1 of 3)
• Three or more of:
– Tolerance
• a need for markedly increased amounts of a substance to achieve intoxication / desired effect; or
• markedly diminished effect with continued use of same amount of substance
– Withdrawal • characteristic withdrawal syndrome for specific substance; or
• substance use to avoid or relieve withdrawal syndrome
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SUBSTANCE DEPENDENCE(2 of 3)
– Substance use in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended
– Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use
– Inordinate time spent:• obtaining the substance;
• using the substance; or
• recovering from the substance’s effects
– Reduced or ceased participation in important social, occupational or recreational activities
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SUBSTANCE DEPENDENCE(3 of 3)
– Continued substance use despite knowledge of having a recurrent or persistent physical or psychological problem
• Physiological dependence (ie. tolerance or withdrawal) may or may not be present
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Point #1Substance abuse is very common in people with mental health problems
• Cigarette smoking (80% in schizophrenia)
• Other substance abuse - up to 50% lifetime prevalence with mental disorders
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People with mental disorders tend to use substances as
• ‘Self-medication’ to effectively alleviate:
– anxiety / tension
– dysphoric states
– depressive symptoms (eg. apathy, sleep disturbance)
– positive psychotic symptoms- less successful
• Mental disorders increase risk of abuse - “bi-directional” interaction
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Point #2The risk of psychological problems is
increased by substance abuse
• Contributory > causal
• Depression and anxiety most common co-occurring problems
• Higher rates of psychosis than general population
– eg. five times the risk of schizophrenia 5%
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Substance abuse increases the severity and impact of mental
disorders• Violence / aggression• Depression• Suicide attempts• Illegal behaviours• Medication non-compliance• Reduced medication effectiveness• Medication adverse effects• Earlier age of onset of psychotic symptoms• Persistent relapse• Increased severity of positive symptoms
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Dual disorders are commonly associated with
– young, single males
– early cessation of formal education
– disrupted employment history
– homelessness / displacement: ~42%
– “difficult” clients
• Dual diagnosis is associated with reduced response to interventions for substance abuse
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The impact of trauma
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Medications & other treatments
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4. Ideas & Strategies
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Angels Among Us
The Choice in helping those in need
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Our Way of Being Determines Our Influence
Regardless of external behaviour
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2 Core Barriers to Happiness
• Entitlement
– “I deserve my abundance” (you don’t)
• Resentment
– “I deserve your abundance” (you don’t)
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Gratitude Overcomes Resentment and Entitlement
by our turning from our own needs, and focussing on the needs of others
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4 Principles for Gratitude
1. “I am no better”“It is not the ground we walk on that reveals our humanity, but our manner of walking upon it.”
2. “I supply basic needs”Food. Clothing. Security.
3. “I provide opportunities for growth”Planting & nurturing seeds.
4. “I cherish those in need”Every opportunity to care is a unique privilege.
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Goal Setting
Do you really
want a drill?
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The drill to make a hole?
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Or the hole for a hook to hang a picture?
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So you didn’t really want a drill!
Or did you?
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Which do you focus on?Pleasing methods, or pleasing results?
“The common denominator of success; the secret of success of every man who has ever been
successful lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things
that failures don't like to do.”Albert E.N. Gray
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5. Health Motivations Quadrant
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Scarcity or Abundance?
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Healthy Relationships
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Healthy Finances
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Physical Health
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The Consequences of Choice
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Making the shift
1. Look for the symptoms of a scarcity mentality2. Focus on the abundance, not on the lack3. Appreciate4. Get organized5. Change your input6. Share the wealth7. Create win-win situations8. Remind yourself9. Your greatest loss may contain your greatest
opportunity
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6. Vehicles & education
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3 Fs or 3 Rs?
Most of us get stuck by three misconceptions about change
- our trust in facts, fear, and force (the three Fs)
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Three Keys to Change
• Relating– Form a new, emotional relationship with a person or community that
inspires and sustains hope. If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider "hopeless," you need the influence of seemingly "unreasonable" people to restore your hope--to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change.
• Repeating– The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits
and skills that you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition over time before new patterns of behaviour become automatic and seem natural--until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way.
• Reframing– The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your
situation and your life. Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that would have been so foreign to you that it wouldn’t have made any sense before you changed.
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Three Keys to Change
New hope
New skills
New thinking
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What makes a difference?
• Books & CDs – self talk/affirmations, personal growth study
• Seminars – association with people who will stretch you
• Mentoring – people who are where you want to be
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7. Where to from here?
Which is the real world?
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Invitation to invest
"I'm able to offer this seminar without charging for my time because of the support of my business partners.
I'm looking for more partners so I can spend even more time doing this work; if you're interested in what could be the most affordable and best investment you
will ever make, see me afterwards to make an appointment."
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Questions / Discussion