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Sunday, April 17, 2016 - STAR - Tels: 626-8822 - Email:[email protected] STAR

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No. 453 Sunday, April 17, 2016 Price $1.00

SAN IGNACIO TOWN, Cayo,Thursay, April 14, 2016: Police are still investigating a trafficmishap that resulted in the death of a12-year-old student of Sacred HeartPrimary School in San Ignacio Town. According to reports, shortly aftermidday on Thursday, April 7, EmilAugust, 12, was walking in his schooluniform when he was knocked downby a Bahadur & Sons Truck in frontof Trins Deli in downtown SanIgnacio. It was a very emotional sceneas many witnesses were brought totears after seeing the condition of thelittle boy. August was rushed to San

Still No Charges Against TruckDriver For Death Of Emil August

Ignacio Hospital for emergencytreatment. Unfortunately, the injurieswere too much for the little boy towithstand and he succumbed to hisinjuries which included head trauma,broken bones and damaged organs. The truck that ran over August wasbeing driven at the time by KurtDouglas Bahadur, 41, Belizeantruck driver. Bahadur has been servedwith a notice of intended prosecutionand police expect to complete theirinvestigation by the end of this week.The file will then be forwarded to theDirector of Public Prosecution for herdirective.

BELMOPAN, Cayo, Tuesday,April 12, 2016: The Government of Belize settledwith the family members of the lateSuccotz resident, Yolanda ConsueloValencia, 54, who was killed in atraffic accident involving then DeputyCommissioner of Police, MiguelSegura. After Segura was chargedcriminally for the accident, theValencia family brought a civil suitagainst the Government since Segurais a Government official and was in aGovernment vehicle at the time ofthe incident in which he was clearlyat fault. On Tuesday, April 12,Government informed Justice ShonaGriffith that they have decided tosettle out of court with the family.According to reports, governmentwill compensate the Valencia familywith $70,000 which will be paid withina month and a half.

SUCCOTZ FAMILY RECEIVES $70,000SETTLEMENT FOR LOSING LOVED ONE

Deputy Police CommissionerMiguel Segura, the #2 cop in theBelize Police Department, wasarraigned on six criminal charges forbeing involved in an accident whichkilled Valencia taxi driver Yanie Cuseriously injured. A blood sample testlater confirmed that Segura wasunder the influence of alcohol abovethe prescribed limit. The accidenthappened between miles 70 and 71on the outskirts of Succotz Village inthe Cayo District. Valencia was in a

blue Toyota Corolla taxi, which wasbeing driven by her close relative,Yanie Evan Cu. They were headingto the San Ignacio market like theyusually do every Saturday so that

Valencia could sell her vegetables andother goods. At around 5:35 a.m., on Saturday,August 16, 2014 they had a head-oncollision with Deputy CommissionerSegura, who was driving agovernment issued Nissan Pathfinder.He was heading back to his home inBenque Viejo Town, reportedly aftera night of partying in San Ignacio.Eyewitness reports suggest thathe was veering all over the highway,and missed another motorist’svehicle before he slammed into thetaxi. Valencia is believed to have died onimpact, while Cu struggled inside thetaxi before aid was rendered to him.Shortly after it happened, a civiliancaught Miguel Segura on cellularphone footage placing his gun insidehis pants pocket, zipping up his pantsand taking a smoke a few

Yolanda Consuelo Valencia

Miguel Segura

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GEORGEVILLE VILLAGE,Cayo, Tuesday, April 12, 2016: Earl Tillette Sr., 53, of GeorgevilleVillage died in one of the mostunexpected ways on Tuesday, April12. According to police reports, theveteran farmer was walking on hisfarm at around 9:45 a.m. when hetripped and accidentally pulled thetrigger of his shotgun on himself. Thegun went off hitting him in thejaw from very close range.Tillette was rushed to the KarlHeusner Memorial Hospital for

Incidental Shooting LeavesGeorgeville Residents Grieving

emergency surgery. Unfortunately,he succumbed to his injuries whileundergoing surgery sometimeafter 2:00 p.m. Tillette was well respected in thevillage of Georgeville. He isremembered as a hardworking man,loyal and committed to his widerfamily. He was a humble man who

loved going hunting and fishing. TheJack of all trades is best known forhis talents as a plumber. Many whohave no blood relation to himwhatever from Georgeville andsurrounding villages calls him uncle.He is well liked but stern. Tillette’sdeath was unexpected but if he wasto pass away anywhere it was fittingfor him to do so on his farm. He toiledcountless hours on that grounds toprovide for himself and loved ones.Police have labeled Tillette’s death asaccidental shooting.

Earl Tillette Sr.

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Sunday, April 17, 2016 - STAR - Tels: 626-8822 - Email:[email protected]


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SANTA ELENA TOWN, Cayo,Thursday, April 14, 2016: Salazar Street in Santa Elena Townis now fully paved at world classstandard. The final coat was layeddown on Friday, April 8, and residentsof the area have expressed greatpleasure. Remembering what thestreet looked like before the upgrade,one resident said, “I feel like wemoved from village to America.”The upgrade will benefit awider section of the community asmotorists and pedestrians will enjoyless traffic congestion throughout themunicipality with the widening of thisnew artery. The paving of Salazar street is aproject under the Belize MunicipalDevelopment Project (BMDP). TheBMDP is funded through a $30million loan from the World Bank andthe objective is to improve access tobasic municipal infrastructure and toenhance municipal management inselected town and city councils ofBelize. The project is divided into

Central Government Completes SalazarStreet, More Road Work By Town Council

three working areas includinginfrastructure development and twosub-projects for improvement ofmanagement capacity. The secondarea of focus will be technicalassistance and capacity building forthe city and town councils. The third

and final component will entail thestrengthening of the operationalcapacity of the Social InvestmentFund for implementation andmanagement of the project, to ensurecompliance with fiduciary controls,supervision, monitoring and reporting,

and compliance with social andenvironmental safeguards, through theprovision of technical advisoryservices, training, operating costs, andacquisition of goods includingvehicles. The San Ignacio and Santa ElenaTown Council is also spearheadingadditional infrastructure projectswith funds from the municipal pot.Using revenues collected, the TownCouncil is cementing a section of dirtroad at the entrance of the SacredHeart Primary School that has beenterrorizing students and residentssince the dry season started. Otherareas will be addressed across themunicipality using funds from collectedrevenues.

Salazar Street in Santa Elena Town

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ROARING CREEK VILLAGE,Cayo, Sunday, April 10, 2016: A night out for drinks and relaxationturned deadly after the fun was overfor Luis Ostuardo Ortiz, 39, andJose Gonzalez, 40, on Saturday,April 9. Ort iz and Gonzalez weresocializing at the La Cabana Bar onSaturday and partied into the earlymorning of Sunday. According topolice, sometime after 3:00 a.m. onSunday, Gonzalez left La Cabanawith Ortiz, also known as Chapin, ina green 1999 Chevy Prism. As theywere passing in front of the Roaring

Fight in Roaring Creek Grave Yard Turns Deadly

Creek Burial ground they werereportedly assaulted by some malepersons who attacked them and

threw Gonzalez in some bushes off thehighway. Ortiz was then carried off inhis vehicle which was later found by

pólice submerged in the river in theYoung Bank area of Camalote Village. Gonzales was taken to theWestern Regional Hospital where hisinjuries were classified as wounding.About 10:45 a.m. on Sunday, thebody of Luis Ortiz was found in theBelize Old River near AgripinoCawich Bridge with a cut wound tothe back of the head and injury toleft eye. The body was transportedto the Western Regional Hospitalwhere it was pronounced dead onarrival. Police have detained sixindividuals from the Belmopan,Roaring Teakettle Village area forquestioning.

Luis Ostuardo Ortiz Green 1999 Chevy Prism

SAN IGNACIO TOWN, Cayo,Thursday, April 14, 2016: There is at least one suspected caseof the Zika virus in the Cayo District,says the Ministry of Health.According to a release from theMinistry, officials conducted a fieldinvestigation over the weekend basedon the reported case of Zika bythe Centers for Disease Controland Prevention and the provisionaldata they provided. “The fieldinvestigation revealed two localpotential cases, one in the StannCreek District and the other in theToledo District. A person ofinterest was also identified fromthe Cayo District.” Samples weretaken from the persons in thesouthern districts and have been sentto the Caribbean Public HealthAgency (CARPHA) in Trinidad fortesting. The Ministry is now awaiting

Suspected Zika Case in the Cayo Districtthe results of those tests. The samplefrom Cayo has not been sent as yet.“The low lying areas in SanIgnacio and Santa Elena areknown hot spots for the Aedesmosquito,” says Kim Bautista,Director of the Vector Control Unit.It is only a matter of time before casesare officially reported in Belize. TheVector Control Unit has already doneconsiderable ground work to limit thespread of the disease, says Bautista.The Ministry of Finance has providedabout $800,000 to the unit over thepast years, in addition to the$2,000,000 in grants from theGlobal Fund and the European Unionto combat vector borne illnesses.These monies have allowed the unitto replace its formerly dilapidatedvehicle fleet, procure equipment andtrain personnel at both thecommunity and technician level. The

Ministry of Finance stands ready torelease additional funds to the unit ifneeded to launch a campaign againstthe Aedes Aegypti Mosquito. Residents should not panic over thethreat of Zika. Zika is less dangerousthan any of the vector borne diseasealready present in Belize, like dengueand chikungunya. Eighty percent ofZika infections are asymptomatic. Theother 20 percent experience only mildsymptoms. The Ministry of Healthsays, “All Regional Health

Management teams have beendebriefed and the Zika planfor Belize continues to beimplemented and is now movinginto a new phase as the Ministrycontinues to learn more of thesituation.”

We AMS To Please


ARIES:March 22 to April 20

This is a pleasant week. After all,the Sun is still in your sign boostingyour energy and attracting favourablecircumstances and people to you.Yay! Furthermore, fair Venus is alsoin your sign giving you opportunitiesto make yourself more attractive toothers. Venus also enhances all yourdealings with partners and closefriends because you are morecharming and diplomatic than usual.Meanwhile, you are full ofmoneymaking ideas! Trust theseideas because whatever you come upthis week will boost your job success- no quest ion. Be patient onWednesday with domestic powerstruggles and hiccups - then you'rehome free! Lucky numbers: 07, 13,46.

TAURUS: April 21 to May 21

In many ways, you are stillsaving your energy for your birthdaymonth. The Sun and Venus are hidingin your chart while you prepare andplan for your new year ahead.However, bright, clever Mercury isin your sign dancing with Jupiter thisweek, which makes you keen tomake future plans and createorganizational systems. This favoursall business and commercial activity.In fact, it favours every aspect ofyour life because it basicallyboosts your "power of positivethinking." You're learning lots ofnew information and loving it.Caution on Wednesday which is anaccident-prone day both verbally andphysically. Ouch! Lucky numbers:20, 33, 76.

GEMINI: May 22 to June 21

Enjoy lots of fun popularity thisweek because others want to sharetime with you - definitely. That's whymany of you will be involved withclubs, groups and organizations morethan usual. You will also enjoyhanging with friends and partnersbecause you will be more physicallyactive and vigourous for variousreasons. Meanwhile, behind-the-scenes plans will yield positiveimprovements to your home or afamily situation. Continue to be pa-tient with partners and close friendswhile Mars is opposite your sign.Disputes about money andpossessions might arise onWednesday. Be cool. Luckynumbers: 05, 64, 76.

CANCERJune 21 to July 21

You continue to be high viz., especiallyin the eyes of bosses, parents, teachersand VIPs. Furthermore, these peopleare impressed with you! Naturally, take

Your Weekly Horoscope and Lucky Numbersadvantage of this and make the most ofit. Some of you might strike up a newflirtation with your boss or someone ina position of authority. Others will wantyour creative input on things. This weekyou are very rah rah with friends groupsbecause they welcome your enthusiasmand encouragement to think big and gofor the brass ring. You might signcontracts with groups and friends orenter into a new level of negotiationswith them. Don't get carried away onWednesday when the Moon is in yoursign at odds with Uranus and Pluto. Thisencourages arguments and accidents,so keep your head down and yourpowder dry. Lucky numbers: 09,52, 88.

LEO:July 24 to August 21

Travel for pleasure continues toappeal to you because you want to treatyourself to a lovely trip somewhere. Youwant to expand your world in apleasant way so you can enjoyscintillating conversation with others inexotic, exciting surroundings. And whynot? Romance with someone fromanother culture or a different country willblossom for some. However, all of youwill impress parents, bosses, teachersand VIPs this week with yourenthusiasm and your big ideas! This isa strong time for you to sign contractsor conclude deals with importantpeople. You're dealing with lots of newinformation and you love it Luckynumbers: 34, 87, 93.

VIRGO:August 22 to September 21

This is an excellent week to tie uploose details with inheritances, taxes,debt and anything to do with sharedproperty. Most likely, you will come outsmelling like a rose. It's also a good timeto go after a loan or a mortgagebecause the resources of others will bemore easily available to you, and thisincludes banks. Those of you who areat school or studying or involved withthe law, philosophy, religion andintellectual concepts will flourish thisweek because your mind willeasily wrap itself around anythingintellectually provocative and highfalutin'.Your travel plans are ambitious.Likewise, all your dealings with peoplefrom other cultures and differentcountries will be upbeat and positive.Ole! Lucky numbers: 30, 68, 70.

LIBRA:September 22 to October 23

Remember to get more sleep whilethe Sun is opposite your sign. This isthe only time all year this happens andit lasts for about four weeks. FairVenus also continues to be oppositeyour sign promoting and boostingyour close relationships with partnersand dear friends. Many of you willbe more enthusiastic about writing,

studying and talking to others becauseyou have so much mental energy.Specifically, your ability to wrap upbusiness deals and handle inheritancesand insurance issues is tops this week.Therefore, do the deal! Use yourmental energy and daily enthusiasm toyour advantage. Lucky numbers:41, 69, 82.

SCORPIO:October 24 to November 21

Work flows easily now becausecoworkers are supportive. But inaddition, you have high standards foryourself now because you want to doeverything possible to become moreefficient, more productive and moreeffective in whatever you do. That'snice. Use this positive energy thisweek to get things done! Meanwhile,discussions with partners and closefriends are great this week. Becauseothers endorse your ideas, yourenthusiasm simply grows! The onlysnag is on Wednesday, when powerstruggles and the unexpected couldcatch you off guard. Aside from that,this is an excellent week where youare empowered and productive. Andyou're happy!Lucky numbers: 06,14, 57.

SAGITTARIUS:November 22 to December 21

In several ways, this weekexemplifies how I see your sign - youwork hard; you party hard. Youmanage to have it all! And this week,this is exactly what happens becausevacations, parties, sports and socialevents are all promising. In addition,love affairs, romance and saucyflirtations will also blossom. Work-related travel is likely for many of you.This is a powerful work week for youbecause you are so enthusiastic andpositive! This quality makes it easy foryou to sell big ideas to others whowill then jump on board. Work-related travel is likely, perhaps be-cause you easily convince others togo along with your big ideas. Cautionabout money disputes on Wednesday.Let sleeping dogs lie.. Luckynumbers: 23, 45, 85.

CAPRICORN:December 22 to January 20

Continue to focus on home, familyand where you live because this is theperfect time to redecorate and tweakyour digs. You will also want toentertain at home more than usual. Infact, all these favourable influencesalso mean that this is an excellent timeto pursue real-estate deals orreal-estate speculation. Familyrelations are warm and affectionate.In addition, playful activities withchildren will truly please you.Basically, this entire week is apositive experience for you with theexception of Wednesday when you

will be challenged dealing withpartners and close friends. Luckynumbers: 01, 43, 99.

AQUARIUS:January 20 to February 18

This is a busy, social week!Everyone wants to see your face, butthis suit you just fine because yoursocial skills are tops. In fact, yourcommunication skills are so excellentat this time that you will make moneyfrom your words. Therefore, takenote those of you who sell, market,teach, write or act. Relations withsiblings, neighbours and relativeswill be enjoyable and mutuallyaffectionate. You might be moresocially active with others, especiallyin groups, this week. In addition, plansfor your home or something to dowith a family member are big andambitious! Good time to initiatemajor renovations and repairs whereyou live. Lucky numbers: 00, 63,78.

PISCES:February 20 to March 21

Money, possessions, cash flow andearnings continue to be a strongfocus for you this week. Fortunately,your moneymaking abilities are strong.Look for ways to make deals ornegotiate financial matters becauseyou will be successful. You will alsoenjoy shopping for beautiful things foryourself and loved ones. Meanwhile,your communication skills arefabulous this week, which means thisis a great time to negotiate deals, signcontracts and wheel and deal withsiblings, relatives and neighbours. Thisis a very strong week for those of youwho communicate for a living.Wednesday could be challenging withromantic partners as well as with yourkids. In fact, Wednesday is anaccident-prone day for your kids soparents should be extra vigilant.Lucky numbers: 28, 37, 95.

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Belize, CA

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SAN IGNACIO TOWN, Cayo,Sunday, April 10, 2016:

Bandits Beat Ballaz InBelmopan

On Friday night, Cayo WesternBallaz took on their district rivals,Belmopan Bandits, at the UBgymnasium in Belmopan, with hugeplayoff implications hinging on thisgame. A win and Ballaz is in theplayoffs, and a loss would send themhome for the first time in three years,after reaching the finals the previoustwo years. At the half, Belmopan wasup 35 - 24, but the lead was cut tothree points, 50 - 47, going into thefourth quarter. In the fourth anddecisive quarter, Belmopan openedthe lead behind a few three pointshots, easily winning 73 - 57. Withthe loss, Cayo Western Ballaz will notmake the playoffs this season, whileBelmopan Bandits is riding a 7 gamewinning streak going into the lastweekend of the regular season. Thetop scorer for Belmopan Bandits(8-4) was Jarrell Velasquez with 21points, 5 dishes and 3 points,while Nick Brown finished with adouble-double, tallying 16 points andripping 11 rebounds. KylePascascio contributed 14 points, 9rebounds, 3 assists and 3 steals, togo with 4 three-pointers and Stephen“Muerte” Williams finished thenight with 11 points and 8 rebounds.Cayo Western Ballaz (7-6) was ledby Brandon Flowers who had thegame high with 22 points and 9rebounds, while Jamal Harris wasthe only other player in double-digitscoring, with 11 points. BelmopanBandits out-rebounded CayoWestern Ballaz 45 - 33 on the glass,while having a 21 - 5 advantage onsecond chance points. The hometeam sank 12 three-pointers,compared to only 4 from the visitors.

San Pedro Tiger SharksBounces Back Against Belize

City No Limit San Pedro Tiger Sharks traveled toBird’s Isle on Friday night to take onBelize City No Limit, as both teamswere trying to bounce back from aloss last week. San Pedro TigerSharks jumped out to an early18 - 10 first quarter lead, maintaininga double-digit lead for most of thegame, to get the 68 - 55 victory. SanPedro Tiger Sharks’ (7-4) topscorers were Caleb Sutton with 20points and 3 steals and Raul Rocheswith 13 points, 9 rebounds and 3steals. Belize City No Limit (4-8) wasled by Gregory “Chippy” Rudonwho tallied 15 points, 7 assists, 4steals and 2 rebounds and Keith“Superman” Acosta finished with10 points, 7 rebounds, 3 steals and 2assists. San Pedro had the 40 - 32edge on the glass, and also the 23 -

NEBL Playoff Teams Set - Seeds Will BeDetermined Last Week Of Regular SeasonBY: Karim Juan, Commissioner 14 advantage on points off turnovers.

Hyram Augustine sets franchiserecord for NEBL, with 14 steals byCharles Gladden. On Saturday night, IndependenceThunderbolts traveled to the cityat the Belize Elementary Gym, intheir final regular season meetingbetween Smart Belize Hurricanes.Independence Thunderbolts held a22 – 20 lead at the end of the firstquarter, but the home team, SmartBelize Hurricanes, gained the lead at37-36 at halftime. After halftime,Smart Belize Hurricanes just ran awaywith the lead and got their final homewin for the season, with a marginof 28 points, 92 – 64. SmartBelize Hurricanes (11-2) had 3players scoring in double-digits:FarronLouriano, who got adouble-double, 22 points, 14rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals;Akeem Watters, who also got adouble-double, finished with 17points, 10 rebounds, 2 steals, and 1blocked shot; and rookie sensation,Glency Lopez, finished the night with11 points, 3 rebounds, 2 rebounds,and 2 steals. IndependenceThunderbolts (0-11) had 2 playersscoring in double-digits: ZaneBurgess with 12 points, 5 rebounds,3 steals, 2 steals, 2 assists, and2 blocked shots and HyramAugustine, who finished with adouble-double, 30 points, 5rebounds, 3 assists, 1 blocked shot,and setting a franchise high andsetting a new record for Most Stealsin a Game with 14 steals.

San Pedro Tiger Sharks Got 2Wins Over The Weekend

San Pedro Tiger Sharks traveled toOrange Walk on Saturday night totake on the Running Rebels, aftercoming off a win against Belize CityNo Limit on Friday Night. San PedroTiger Sharks jumped out to a 24 - 11first quarter lead, which they neverrelinquished, easily winning 89 - 49.San Pedro Tiger Sharks’ (8-4) topscorer was Caleb Sutton, who scored21 points to go with 4 steals and 3rebounds, while Andrew Ortizfinished the night with 17 points and8 boards. Jamal Kelly chipped in 10points in the win. Orange WalkRunning Rebels (2-8) was led byIan Carcamo, who tallied adouble-double with 13 points, 10rebounds and 2 steals, whileJason Grant also recorded adouble-double with 12 points and 10boards. San Pedro Tiger Sharks hadthe slight 36 - 32 rebounding edge,while holding a 12 - 2 advantage onsecond chance points. San Pedrodominated the paint, outscoringOrange Walk 50 - 28, while leadingthe entire game.

Orange Walk Running RebelsDefeats Independence

Thunderbolts On Sunday afternoon, OrangeWalk Running Rebels hosted theIndependence Thunderbolts at theOrange Walk Multi PurposeComplex up north. The visitors helda 16 - 15 lead at the end of the firstquarter, but Orange Walk was ableto grab a 28 - 24 lead by half time. Atthe end of third quarter, IndependenceThunderbolts regained the lead,48 - 42, and half way through thefourth quarter, the visiting team wasnursing a 54 - 50 lead. However, thehome team went on a 22 - 5 run toend the game, getting the 72 - 59victory. Orange Walk Running Rebels(3-8) was led by Gabriel Bochnia whonetted 17 points, while CalbertCarcamo tallied 13 points, 8rebounds, 3 steals and 2 assists.Jason Grant, Lupito Acosta andIan Carcamo all scored 10 pointseach. Hyram Augustine was thetop scorer for IndependenceThunderbolts (0-12) with 27 points,5 rebounds and 2 assists, while AaronValerio finished the night with 14points and 2 boards. Orange WalkRunning Rebels had the 35 - 26advantage on the boards, and theirbench outscored IndependenceThunderbolts, 28 - 15.

Playoff Matchups With only 1 week remaining in theregular season, the four playoff teamshave already been decided. Beloware the playoff scenarios for theseeding of the teams going into theplayoffs. The other 4 teams have beeneliminated from playoff contention.1] Smart Belize Hurricanes -clinched the #1 seed

2] Belmopan Bandits - must winlast 2 games versus San PedroTiger Sharks and IndependenceThunderbolts to clinch the #2 seed. Aloss will drop them to either #3 or #4seed, depending on the tie-breakerwith Dangriga.3] San Pedro Tiger Sharks - mustwin their last 2 games versusBelmopan Bandits and Orange WalkRunning Rebels to clinch #2 seed. Aloss will drop them to the #3 seed.4] Dangriga Warriors - will be the#4 seed if Belmopan beats SanPedro. Will be #3 seed if San Pedrobeats Belmopan and they have abigger point differential thanBelmopan, for all games played thisseason.

Upcoming GamesFriday night at 9 p.m. - SmartBelize Hurricanes at Belize City NoLimitFriday night at 9 p.m. - San PedroTiger Sharks at Belmopan BanditsFriday night at 9 p.m. - CayoWestern Ballaz at Orange Walk Run-ning RebelsSaturday night at 9 p.m. -Belmopan Bandits at IndependenceThunderboltsSaturday night at 9 p.m. - OrangeWalk Running Rebels at San PedroTiger SharksSunday at 1 p.m. - IndependenceThunderbolts at Belize City No LimitSunday at 1 p.m. - DangrigaWarriors at Orange Walk RunningRebels All games can be followed live onour website at nebl.sportingpulse.net,with real time box scores, whilethe game is being played. Thewebsite also has all game scores,box scores, players and teams’statistics, along with standings for theseason.

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The bartender asks the guy sittingat the bar, "What'll you have?" Theguy answers, "A scotch, please."The bartender hands him the drink,and says "That'll be five dollars,"to which the guy replies, "What areyou talking about? I don't owe youanything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby andoverhearing the conversation, thensays to the bartender, "You know,he's got you there. In the originaloffer, which constitutes a bindingcontract upon acceptance,there was no stipulation ofremuneration." The bartender was not impressed,

but says to the guy, "Okay, youbeat me for a drink. But don'tever let me catch you in hereagain." The next day, same guy walks intothe bar. Bartender says, "What theheck are you doing in here? Ican't believe you've got theaudacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are youtalking about? I've never been inthis place in my life!" The bartenderreplies, "I'm very sorry, but this isuncanny. You must have adouble." To which the guy replies, "Thankyou. Make it a scotch."

Free Drinks

You Told Her What?! A woman went to doctors officewhere she was seen by one of the newdoctors. After about 4 minutes in theexamination room, she burst out,screaming as she ran down the hall.An older doctor stopped her andasked what the problem was, and shetold him her story. After listening, he had her sit downin another room and told her to relax.The older doctor marched down the

Separation One morning in a posh hotelbreakfast room, a guest called overthe head waiter. "Good morning,sir! I'd like to order two boiledeggs, one of them so undercookedthat it's runny, and the other soovercooked that it's tough."I also want some rubbery bacon,burnt toast, and butter that's socold it's impossible to spread.

VacancyTutor needed to assist

in helping with Homeworkand Daily Studing.

Preferably someone inBelize City

Call: 626-8822

hallway to the back where the firstdoctor was and demanded, "What'sthe matter with you? Mrs. Terryis 63 years old, she has four grownchildren and seven grandchildren,and you told her she waspregnant?" The new doctor calmly continuedto write on his clipboard and withoutlooking up said, "Does she stillhave the hiccups?"

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ROARING CREEK VILLAGE,Cayo, Tuesday, April 12, 2016: Roaring Creek Police areinvestigating a home invastion inCamalote Village that took place onTuesday, April 12. Acting uponinformation received police visited theresidence of 33-year-old GladwinPenner, a trucker driver of CamaloteVillage, who reported that while hewas at his ranch on the HummingbirdHighway he received a call from hismaid who said that she was held upat gun point at his residence. Pennercalled police and rushed down tocheck what was happening at his

Home Invasion InCamalote Village

home. Upon arrival, he noticed thathis black Rugger SR 9 nine millimeterpistol with serial number 330-86294was missing. An assortment ofjewelry with an estimated value of$3,000 was also stolen from insidehis bedroom. The firearm is valued at$2,500. Police are seeking the public’sassistance in getting to the bottom ofthis case. The maid received noserious injury but was shaken upduring the incident. Anyone with information regardingthis incident is asked to please call thenearest police station.

"Finally, I'll have a pot ofextra-weak coffee, served at roomtemperature." The bewildered waiter almoststuttered. "Sir! We cannot servesuch an awful breakfast to youhere!" "Why not?" the guest replied."That's what I got hereyesterday!"

Downtown Parking A famous art collector is walkingthrough the city when he notices amangy cat lapping milk from asaucer in the doorway of a store. Hedoes a double take. He knows that the saucer isextremely old and very valuable, sohe walks casually into the store andoffers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies, "I'msorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, Ineed a hungry cat around the

house to catch mice. I'll pay you20 dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," andhands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, forthe twenty bucks I wonder if youcould throw in that old saucer. Thecat's used to it and it'll save mefrom having to get a dish." The owner says, "Sorry buddy,but that's my lucky saucer. So farthis week I've sold sixty-eightcats."

Speeding A little rural town had one of thehighest birth rates in the country andthis phenomenon attracted theattention of the sociologists at thestate university. They wrote a grant proposal;got a huge chunk of money; movedto town; set up their computers;got squared away; and begandesigning their questionnaires andsuch. While the staff was busy gettingready for their big research effort, theproject director decided to go to the

local drugstore for a cup of coffee.He sat down at the counter, orderedhis coffee, and while he was drinkingit, he told the druggist what hispurpose was in town, then asked himif he had any idea why the birth ratewas so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Everymorning the six o'clock traincomes through here and blows forthe crossing. It wakes everybodyup, and, well, it's too late to goback to sleep, and it's too early toget up."

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NOTICE


BELMOPAN, Cayo, Wednesday,April 13, 2016: The United States Embassy in Belizehas announced that it will highlight thestories of Belizean women fromacross the country each month toshow what they are doing to makethis country great. The firstwoman featured on theEmbassy’s “BELIZE’S WONDERWOMEN! The Women Who HelpMake Belize Great!” piece isSpecial Envoy for Women andChildren, Kim Simplis-Barrow. On Wednesday, April 13, theEmbassy posted:“To kickoff this campaign our firstBelize Wonder Woman will benone other than Mrs. Kim SimplisBarrow!!!” Mrs. Kim SimplisBarrow is the wife of the PrimeMinister of Belize, the RightHonorable Dean Barrow andBelize’s Special Envoy for Womenand Children and GlobalAmbassador for Special Olympicssince 2008 as well as the Founderand Director of the LifelineFoundation, which raisesthousands of dollars annually toaid disenfranchised children. Hertwo major projects as SpecialEnvoy for Women and Childrenare a Paediatric and NeonatalIntensive Care Unit constructedat the Karl Heusner MemorialHospital and The InspirationCenter which offers healthcareand therapy for children withdisabilities.

VACANCIESBusy Steel Business is looking for the followingcandidates:

1. Secretary/Accounts Assistant - Full Time

Requirements: 5 years of experience as a secretarywith administrative responsibilities, high schooldiploma or higher, computer literate, quick booksknowledge is an asset.

2. Steel Workers - Full Time

Requirements: Experience working with steelfabrication, welding qualifications/experience is anasset, must be flexible to work day/night shifts.

Interested candidates are asked to submit their CV or Resume via Email

Salary: Negotiable, based on experience and qualificationsLocation of Business: Georgeville, Cayo District

Send your Resume/CV to [email protected]: 824-2862 for more information

The More You Read The More You Learn!

U.S. Embassy HighlightsWork of Kim Simplis Barrow

Her efforts to raise publicawareness on the commercialsexual exploitation of childrenincludes successfully advocatingfor the passage of two pieces oflegislation to strengthenprotection for victims of sexualviolence and human trafficking as

well as an amendment tothe Criminal Code forharsher penalties for perpetratorsof sexual offences. Mrs.Simplis Barrow hasco-written twobooklets on sexualabuse prevention and producedmulti-lingual educationalvideos. She has also hostednational conferences on endingcommercial sexual exploitation ofchildren and ending all violenceagainst children. She laterproduced a Children’s RightsActivity Book entitled HavingFun with Rights. In her efforts toimprove the situation ofwomen entrepreneurs in Belize,Mrs. Simplis Barrow focus groupsand consultations countrywideand hosted the National Call toAction Conference on Womenand Girls’ Financial Health aswell as a global FirstLadies Conference in NewYork. Under the 20,000STRONG Women’s Empower-ment campaign, two nationalrallies were held to uplift womenand in 2016, the event was usedto unveil the 20-4-20Women’s Economic DevelopmentProgram.” The stories of other womenwill be posted monthly onthe Embassy’s social mediaaccounts.Mrs. Kim Simplis-Barrow

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