sine zine v1.no. 9
DESCRIPTION
Sine Zine Volume 1, Number 9. Published March 2013, "Last Words" featuring art by Amy Elkins distributed at Eastern Mennonite University, and in central Virginia.TRANSCRIPT
the SINE ZINE Limited Edition, Vol. 1 No. 9
unlike the previous 8 editions of Sine Zine, I am not particularly excited to
publish this limited edition. The words are not mine, the subject matter
is dark and more than a little uncomfortable. But when I stumbled upon
the work of artist Amy Elkins while doing research for Sine Zine no. 8, I
broke into a cold sweat. Elkins’ chilling work demands a certain ac-
countability. Her subjects demand accountability through her art.
the Sine Zine started in 2013 as a radical polemic with a theological-
philosophical bent. At times it has been abstract to a fault, failing to
connect to many readers. This issue #9 is different. This is neither po-
lemic nor abstract. This simply, heartbreakingly, just is.
“last words” refers to the great state of texas’ department of criminal jus-
tice death row website. In 1976 texas reinstated capital punishment,
and carries on executions of men and women with a lethal cocktail of
drugs. (The work of filmmaker Werner Herzog explores this process in
detail, especially his 2011 documentary Into the Abyss.) As an inmate
waits on Death Row for her execution, the prosecutors, media and vari-
ous family are ushered into the viewing chambers. The team assembles,
and the inmate is brought into the execution chamber, often wearing a
diaper underneath her jail clothes. A short statement is read, she is
strapped to a gurney, and the team leader finally asks, “any last words?”
the offender says a few words as the first injection is initiated. Executees
often report it as painful, and sometimes struggle for long periods to
breath as they lay dying. A microphone hangs within inches of the con-
demned’s face, amplifying the sounds of her death in the next room.
Once the death is accomplished, the great state of texas then usually
transcribes the deceased’s last words and posts them on its website, in a
database form searchable by number, name, and so forth. Also posted
in the database are “offender briefs” which excitedly detail the criminal
acts allegedly* performed by the inmate. Sine Zine has chosen to pub-
lish the statements of the offenders by themselves, without accompany-
© 2014, collaborators: the texas department of criminal justice // published by “dogspeed you”
E.M. Knapp // all art by Amy Elkins, http://www.amyelkins.com/parting-words // no price //
free ///
theSineZine.blogspot.com
ing details of crimes that occurred an average of fifteen years prior to
the execution. These offender statements (and the killings that accom-
pany them) stand as their own separate entities in the moral order of
good and evil.
these “last words” are not light reading, and are not easily digestible. As
members of the public, however, it is you the readers who ultimately
hold responsibility for capital punishment. The point of capital punish-
ment is twofold: deterrence, and payback. These are accomplished by
means of violence and even of propaganda. Celebration of the last
several minutes of the decades-long process of execution is itself a
kind of petty psychological projection, giving the families of the victims
a chance to gloat over their revenge. Three million people, according
to texas internet authorities, accessed the death row database in 2013.
to do justice to the subject matter is not easy. Consumerism wants to
commoditize suffering as tabloid fodder. The state of texas also wants
to sell the suffering of its condemned — for different reasons, of
course. For our part, Sine Zine is not selling anything, and if you hap-
pen to have a feeling about your government’s use of retributive jus-
tice, killing, capital punishment — name it whatever you want — that
feeling belongs to you — and you can chose to act or not.
we all have to say our own last words at some point, and the eternal sym-
bol of capital punishment, the Cross, reminds us that death doesn’t
mean what we think it does. The rain falls, the sun shines on both
good and evil alike, and vengeance, (saith the lord,) is not for human
beings. We can’t be trusted with something like vengeance, because
we don’t understand it. For this reason and many others, “last words”
like those in this issue of Sine Zine should never be the last word.
— E.M. Knappenberger, Director and Executive Editor, 2014.
* Since 1973, more than 143 people have been exonerated and released from death row in
the US. Many more were likely innocent when they were killed.
the SINE ZINE Limited Edition, Vol. 1 No. 9
TCDJ #: 999337
Date: 21 JUN 2011
Yes, sir. I just want to say to all my supporters, family and friends; I love y'all and ap-
preciate y'all. To the ones representing me today, thank you for everything. The sys-
tem has failed me. This is a miscarriage of justice. There are people on death row that
need help.
I love my family. I love you too, Mom. I am alright. I asked the Lord to have mercy on
me and I hope He has mercy on these people carrying out this mass slaughter. They
have no respect for humanity. To Melanie, I never meant to hurt you. You were just in
the wrong place at the wrong time. I am not asking for your forgiveness. All I have to
worry about is God forgiving me. I hope you get better and for the doctors to contin-
ue to take care of you. Take care of my mother for me. To everybody, know that I
love you and I am OK.
Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on the-
se peoples' soul. Life is not supposed to end this way. No more pain and frustration.
When I knock at the gates, they will open up and let me in. To my mom and every-
body, I love you.
I can feel it right now. My life, my life.
TCDJ #: 999346
Date: 15 FEB 2011
First of all I would like to give my sincere apology to Amy's family. We caused a lot of
heartache, grief, pain and suffering, and I am sorry. I know it won't bring her back. I
would like to sing, I would like to sing for that person's dead. The old is gone. I am not
the same person that I used to be, that person is dead. It's up to you if you would find
it in your heart to forgive.
As for my family, I am sorry I let you down. I caused a lot of heartache, and I ask for
your forgiveness. I am not crying for myself, I am crying for the lost and those that are
dying for their sins, those that are committing suicide, those that don't know God and
have never been set free. I've been locked up 13 years. I am not locked up inside, all of
these years I have been free. Christ has changed me. Even though I have to die for my
mistake, he paid for mine by wages I could never pay. Here I am a big strong young-
ster, crying like a baby. I am man enough to show my emotions and I am sorry. I am
sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.
TCDJ #: 999337
Date: 21 JUN 2011
Yes, sir. I just want to say to all my supporters, family and friends; I love y'all and ap-
preciate y'all. To the ones representing me today, thank you for everything. The sys-
tem has failed me. This is a miscarriage of justice. There are people on death row that
need help.
I love my family. I love you too, Mom. I am alright. I asked the Lord to have mercy on
me and I hope He has mercy on these people carrying out this mass slaughter. They
have no respect for humanity. To Melanie, I never meant to hurt you. You were just in
the wrong place at the wrong time. I am not asking for your forgiveness. All I have to
worry about is God forgiving me. I hope you get better and for the doctors to contin-
ue to take care of you. Take care of my mother for me. To everybody, know that I
love you and I am OK.
Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on the-
se peoples' soul. Life is not supposed to end this way. No more pain and frustration.
When I knock at the gates, they will open up and let me in. To my mom and every-
body, I love you.
I can feel it right now. My life, my life.
TCDJ #: 999346
Date: 15 FEB 2011
First of all I would like to give my sincere apology to Amy's family. We caused a lot of
heartache, grief, pain and suffering, and I am sorry. I know it won't bring her back. I
would like to sing, I would like to sing for that person's dead. The old is gone. I am not
the same person that I used to be, that person is dead. It's up to you if you would find
it in your heart to forgive.
As for my family, I am sorry I let you down. I caused a lot of heartache, and I ask for
your forgiveness. I am not crying for myself, I am crying for the lost and those that are
dying for their sins, those that are committing suicide, those that don't know God and
have never been set free. I've been locked up 13 years. I am not locked up inside, all of
these years I have been free. Christ has changed me. Even though I have to die for my
mistake, he paid for mine by wages I could never pay. Here I am a big strong young-
ster, crying like a baby. I am man enough to show my emotions and I am sorry. I am
sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.
TCDJ #: 999350
Date: 15 MAY 2013
You clown police. You gonna stop with all that killing all these kids. You're gonna stop
killing innocent kids, murdering young kids. When I kill one or pop one, ya'll want to
kill me. God has a plan for everything. You hear? I love everyone that loves me. I ain't
got no love for anyone that don't love me.
TCDJ #: 999397
Date: 2 MAR 2010
Yes sir, I would like to ask forgiveness of the family. I have no reason for why I did it, I
don't understand why I did it. I hope that you can live the rest of your lives without
hate. I pray the Lord grant me forgiveness. All powerful and almighty Lord I commit
myself to thee, Amen.
TCDJ #: 634
Date: 22 APR 2008
I am sorry for what I did to your mom. It isn’t because I’m going to die. All my life I
have been locked up. I could never forgive what I done. I am sorry for all of you. I love
you all. Thank you for supporting me. I thank you for being kind to me when I was
small. Thank you, God.
All right.
TCDJ #: 999106
Date: 16 AUG 2001
For almost nine years I have thought about the death penalty, whether it is right or
wrong and I don't have any answers. But I don't think the world will be a better or
safer place without me. If you had wanted to punish me you would have killed me the
day after, instead of killing me now. You are not hurting me now. I have had time to
get ready, to tell my family goodbye, to get my life where it needed to be. It started
with a needle and it is ending with a needle. . .
TCDJ #: 999083
Date: 11 FEB 2004
Yes. I just want to say I am not sad today or bitter with anybody. Like I've said from
day one, I did not go in there and kill them - but I am no better than those that did.
Jesus is Lord.
TCDJ #: 999552
Date: 3 DEC 2013
I would like to tell the Canfield family I'm sorry; sorry for your loss. I wish I could take
it back, but I can't. I hope this gives you closure. I did not murder your loved one, it
was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. I take full responsibility. To my family,
we've talked earlier and you know I'm at peace. God is the ultimate judge, he knows
what happened. We talked earlier. I love all of y'all. I'm ready Warden.
TCDJ #: 999003
Date: 2 APR 1997
It was horrible and inexcusable for me to take the life of your loved one and to hurt
so many mentally and physically.
I am here because I took a life and killing is wrong by an individual and by the state,
and I am sorry we are here but if my death gives you peace and closure then this is all
worthwhile.
To all of my friends and family, I love you and I am going home.
TCDJ #: 802
Date: 21 NOV 1997
You all brought me here to be executed, not to make a speech. That’s it.
TCDJ #: 786
Date: 9 SEP 1997
Well, my friends in my heart, I’m ready.
TCDJ #: 640
Date: 22 MAY 1997
I would like to apologize for all of the hurt, pain and disappointment I caused to my
family and all my friends. I hope all the veterans and teenagers out there who have a
drug problem will get help. I hope the lord will forgive me of all of my sins. I thank Jack
and Kathy for being with me. I hope that those who support the Death Row inmates
will continue to work and maybe we can get this resolved and do away with the Death
Penalty. I hope this is a lot better place where I am going.
TCDJ #: 917
Date: 9 DEC 1997
A lot of people view what is happening here as evil, but I want you to know that I
found love and compassion here. The people who work here, I thank them for the
kindness they have shown me and I deeply appreciate all that has been done for me by
the people who work here. That’s all, Warden, I’m ready.
TCDJ #: 999119
Date: 9 MAY 2002
I pray that we all may learn to love and forgive so that we can have peace in the world.
It is with loving and forgiveness and living to learn to love and loving to live that we
can learn the power of forgiveness and learn to live as brothers and sisters on this
earth. Until then, this will continue to happen -- capital punishment; and if we don't
forgive, sooner or later we will all self-destruct. You need to open up your heart and
let God in.
I apologize for taking the life of your daughter and I know how much pain you must be
in because I saw my family today. And although my pain is not as deep as yours, I am
very sorry. Today, this does not bring you peace because this is not really the way.
We should forgive and love and I do apologize with all my heart and soul and I love
you and I know your spirit and God dwells within us and we are all one big family of
humanity; we must all learn to love and live together.
I will see you on the other side.
Thank you for your hospitality.
TCDJ #: 999083
Date: 11 FEB 2004
Yes. I just want to say I am not sad today or bitter with anybody. Like I've said from
day one, I did not go in there and kill them - but I am no better than those that did.
Jesus is Lord.
TCDJ #: 999552
Date: 3 DEC 2013
I would like to tell the Canfield family I'm sorry; sorry for your loss. I wish I could take
it back, but I can't. I hope this gives you closure. I did not murder your loved one, it
was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. I take full responsibility. To my family,
we've talked earlier and you know I'm at peace. God is the ultimate judge, he knows
what happened. We talked earlier. I love all of y'all. I'm ready Warden.
TCDJ #: 786
Date: 9 SEP 1997
Well, my friends in my heart, I’m ready.
TCDJ #: 999345
Date: 26 SEP 2013
I don't know if you remember back in 2000, you were happy the way it happened. You
were looking for me yourself and would have taken care of me yourself. I am glad it
happened this way. I wouldn't want to see you in my shoes. You would have probably
been here, not me. I wouldn't wish this on you. I hope this can bring some relief to
you and your family. I have no hate for you. Grandmother, Lilia, and Robert; have
hope for me. I am with God. Thanks for being with me and all of your love. Mom, take
care of my daughter. Many kisses, Mom. Robert don't forget what I told you, I hope
that this serves as an example for the youngsters. Think about it before you make a
bad decision. Let's go, Warden. I'm ready.
TCDJ #: 989
Date: 4 DEC 2003
Yes sir, I do. I would like to thank everybody for coming out tonight and celebrating
life. This is a celebration of life, not death. Through Jesus Christ, we have victory over
death. I would like to thank the Holy Father and Pope John Paul for their angelic bless-
ings and all the prayers and support. And thanks to Father (name unknown) and Guido
Todeschini for your love and support. I want to thank everybody around the world
and Father, let your will be done. I am going to keep this statement short. I love you
all. I am ready, Warden.
TCDJ #: 689
Date: 12 AUG 1998
As the ocean always returns to itself, love always returns to itself. So does conscious-
ness, always returns to itself. And I do so with love on my lips. May God bless all man-
kind.
TCDJ #: 999467
Date: 25 APR 2013
Life is death, death is life. I hope that someday this absurdity that humanity has come
to will come to and an end. Life is too short. I hope that anyone that has negative en-
ergy towards me will resolve that. Life is too short to harbor feelings of hatred and
anger. That's it.
TCDJ #: 999418
Date: 27 OCT 2011
Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you for your blessing. You are above the president.
And know it is you, Jesus Christ, that is performing this miracle in my life. Hallelujah,
Holy, Holy, Holy. For this reason I was born and raised. Thank you for this, my God is
a God of Salvation. Only through you, Jesus Christ, people will see that you're still on
the throne. Hallelujah, Holy, Holy, Holy. I invoke Your name. Thank you, Yahweh,
thank you Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen. Thank you, Warden.
TCDJ #: 989
Date: 4 DEC 2003
Yes sir, I do. I would like to thank everybody for coming out tonight and celebrating
life. This is a celebration of life, not death. Through Jesus Christ, we have victory over
death. I would like to thank the Holy Father and Pope John Paul for their angelic bless-
ings and all the prayers and support. And thanks to Father (name unknown) and Guido
Todeschini for your love and support. I want to thank everybody around the world
and Father, let your will be done. I am going to keep this statement short. I love you
all. I am ready, Warden.
TCDJ #: 689
Date: 12 AUG 1998
As the ocean always returns to itself, love always returns to itself. So does conscious-
ness, always returns to itself. And I do so with love on my lips. May God bless all man-
kind.
TCDJ #: 999467
Date: 25 APR 2013
Life is death, death is life. I hope that someday this absurdity that humanity has come
to will come to and an end. Life is too short. I hope that anyone that has negative en-
ergy towards me will resolve that. Life is too short to harbor feelings of hatred and
anger. That's it.
TCDJ #: 999427
Date: 13 SEP 2011
You're not about to witness an execution, you are about to witness a murder. I am
strapped down for something Marcus Rhodes did. I never killed anybody, ever. I love
you, Mom. I love you, Tali. This is wrong. This whole thing is wrong. I can't believe you
are going to let Marcus Rhodes walk around free. Justice has let me down. Somebody
completely screwed this up. I love you too, Mom. Well Warden, if you are going to
murder someone, go ahead and do it. Pull the trigger. It's coming. I can feel it coming.
Goodbye.
TCDJ #: 999418
Date: 27 OCT 2011
Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you for your blessing. You are above the president.
And know it is you, Jesus Christ, that is performing this miracle in my life. Hallelujah,
Holy, Holy, Holy. For this reason I was born and raised. Thank you for this, my God is
a God of Salvation. Only through you, Jesus Christ, people will see that you're still on
the throne. Hallelujah, Holy, Holy, Holy. I invoke Your name. Thank you, Yahweh,
thank you Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen. Thank you, Warden.
TCDJ #: 999435
Date: 97 MAR 2012
All I want to say is I'm innocent, I didn't kill my wife. Jack Leary shot my wife then her
dope dealer Guy Fernandez. Don't hold it against me, Bill. I swear to God I didn't kill
her. Go ahead and finish it off. You can taste it.
TCDJ #: 999421
Date: 10 OCT 2012
I'm an innocent man. I did not kill anyone. Ya'll are killing an innocent man. My left arm
is killing me. It hurts bad.
TCDJ #: 000612 Date: 15 JUN 2010
This offender declined to make a last statement.
TCDJ #: 999356
Date: 27 JUN 2006
Yes sir. I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I
allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to for-
give me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me.
I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am get-
ting.
TCDJ #: 816
Date: 2 JUN 1997
Yes, I would like to praise Allah and I am praying to Allah. Allah is most gracious. I will
ask Allah for forgiveness because he created me and he will forgive me.
All of the brothers on the row stay strong.
TCDJ #: 999218
Date: 20 APR 2005
Yes sir, Warden Okay I've been hanging around this popsicle stand way too long. Be-
fore I leave, I want to tell you all. When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my
feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead. I'll see
you in Heaven someday. That's all Warden.
TCDJ #: 999395
Date: 27 OCT 2009
Yes I do. I know ya'lls pain, believe me I shed plenty of tears behind Carlos. Carlos was
my friend. I didn't murder him. This what is happening right now is an injustice. This
doesn't solve anything. This will not bring back Carlos. Ya'll fought real hard here to
prove my innocence. This is only the beginning. I love each and everyone dearly. Dre
My queen. I love you. Yaws, Junie I love yall. Stay strong, continue to fight. They are
fixing to pump my veins with a lethal drug the American Veterinary Association won't
even allow to be used on dogs. I say I am worse off than a dog. They want to kill me
for this; I am not the man that did this. Fight on. I will see ya'll again. That's all I can
say.
TCDJ #: 999356
Date: 27 JUN 2006
Yes sir. I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I
allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to for-
give me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me.
I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am get-
ting.
TCDJ #: 999197
Date: 12 FEB 2009
The Polunsky dungeon should be compared with the Death Row Community as exist-
ing not living. Why do I say this, the Death Row is full of isolated hearts and sup-
pressed minds. We are filled with love looking for affection and a way to understand. I
am a Death Row resident of the Polunsky dungeon. Why does my heart ache. We
want pleasure love and satisfaction. It. The walls of darkness crushed in on me. Life
without meaning is life without purpose. But the solace within the Polunsky dungeon,
the unforgivesness within society, the church Pastors and Christians. It is terrifying.
Does anyone care or who I am. Can you feel me people. The Polunsky dungeon is
what I call the pit of hopelessness. The terrfying thing is the US is the only place, coun-
try that is the only civilized country that is free that says it will stop murder and ena-
ble justice. I ask each of you to lift up your voices to demand an end to the Death
Penalty. If we live, we live to the Lord. If we die we die to the Lord. Christ rose again,
in Jesus name. Bye Aunt Helen, Luise, Joanna and to all the rest of yall. You may pro-
ceed Warden. (began singing)
TCDJ #: 999344
Date: 16 JUN 2011
Yes, sir. Jennifer, I love you. Mom, I love you. Rick, take care of you. For all of you
people, I defended myself when I killed your family member. Prison is a bad place.
There was eight against me. I didn't set out to kill him. I am sorry that I killed him, but
he would not have been in prison if he was a saint. I hope ya'll understand that. I love
you, baby. I hope people understand the grave injustice by the state. There are 300
people on death row, and everyone is not a monster. Texas is carrying out a very in-
humane and injustice. It's not right to kill anybody just because I killed your people.
Everyone changes, right? Life is about experience and people change. I love you, Jen-
nifer. Mom, I love you and all my friends that I have known over the years that have
always been there for me. I am ready to teleport. I love you, baby. I hope you don't
find satisfaction in this, watching a human being die.
TCDJ #: 816
Date: 2 JUN 1997
Yes, I would like to praise Allah and I am praying to Allah. Allah is most gracious. I will
ask Allah for forgiveness because he created me and he will forgive me.
All of the brothers on the row stay strong.
TCDJ #: 999218
Date: 20 APR 2005
Yes sir, Warden Okay I've been hanging around this popsicle stand way too long. Be-
fore I leave, I want to tell you all. When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my
feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead. I'll see
you in Heaven someday. That's all Warden.
TCDJ #: 891
Date: 5 AUG 1999
I want you all to know I did not do this crime. I wanted to wait for a thirty day stay
for a DNA test so you know who did the crime.
TC
DJ #
: 999025
Dat
e: 24 O
CT
2012
To t
he v
ictim
's f
amily
, I am
sure
I k
now
that
I t
ook s
om
ebody
speci
al f
rom
ya'
ll. I
know
it
was
n't r
ight,
it w
as w
rong.
I w
ish I
could
giv
e it
bac
k, but
I know
I c
an't. If g
ivin
g m
y lif
e in r
etu
rn m
akes
it r
ight, s
o
be i
t. I
ask
that
ya'
ll fo
rgiv
e m
e.
I know
God f
org
ave m
e.
I know
He h
as f
org
iven m
e f
or
what
I d
id.
I
don't b
elie
ve t
hat
tak
ing
my
life w
ill s
olv
e a
nyt
hin
g. I
belie
ve t
hat
if
I w
as lock
ed u
p f
or
the r
est
of
my
life, th
at w
ould
be m
ore
of a
punis
hm
ent. T
o d
o t
his
is
sett
ing
me fre
e. G
od b
less
ya'
ll. I w
ish t
here
was
som
eth
ing
I co
uld
do.
Bern
ard,
than
k y
ou.
Bill
, th
anks
for
bein
g th
ere
for
me a
nd s
how
ing
me t
o t
he L
ord
. I
give
glo
ry t
o
God, I
belie
ve I
am
goin
g hom
e. I
love
my
fam
ily. I
love
eve
rybody.
I h
ave love
in m
y hear
t fo
r ya
'll a
nd
for
my
fam
ily, w
e'r
e a
ll vi
ctim
s behin
d w
hat
I d
id. I w
ish t
here
was
som
e o
ther
way
to s
how
I'm
sorr
y. I
hav
e a
pra
yer
that
me a
nd m
y w
ife h
ave c
om
e u
p w
ith t
hat
I'd
lik
e t
o s
ay.
God, hear
our
pra
yer.
We
wan
t to
giv
e t
han
ks
for
this
day
. I
can't d
o t
hat
pra
yer,
that
pra
yer
is n
ot
righ
t fo
r ya
'lls
fam
ily o
r m
y
fam
ily. Ple
ase forg
ive m
e. I lo
ve y
a'll.
OK
War
den, I am
read
y. I'm
goin
g hom
e. I lo
ve y
a'll.
I'm
feelin
g it.