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Violation Report - Rules for sidewalks & walkways

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    VIOLA

    TION REPORT

    RULESFOR COURTEOUS USE

    OF

    SIDEWALKS& WALKWAYS

  • Copyright 2010 Grant GoldPublished by GR_GO Press

    Created, Edited and Designed by Grant Gold

    Grant Gold is a New York based designer and publisher. He is also founder of violationreport.com, an online bulletin board were the public can report violations of RULES.

    www.violationreport.com

    RULES is a publication of unspoken rules and etiquette which help create more enjoyable experiences in public places. These rules are not written into law but are simply ways to make everyones daily life more pleasant. You can do your duty by reporting violations of these rules to: VIOLATIONREPORT.COM

    HEADQUARTERS,VIOLATION REPORT

    BROOKLYN, NY., March 2010

    MANUAL

    No. 02

  • RULESFOR COURTEOUS USE

    VIOLATION REPORT

    OF SIDEWALKS & WALKWAYS

  • DO YOUR DUTY

    REPORT ALL VIOLATIONSFILE A REPORT TODAY!

  • VIOLATION REPORT

    A faucet runs really smoothly when there are not obstructions stopping the water from coming through the pipes. Sidewalks also work really well when people arent stopping up traffic by walking in long horizontal lines down the street. If you are in a group of more than 2 people, action should be taken to make sure that there are no more than 2 people standing shoulder to shoulder. Walk behind your friends, its more considerate than preventing everyone else on the sidewalk from passing.

    People do not enjoy stepping in things, whether they have shoes on, boots on, or an entire suit which blocks from outside elements. Gum and spit are things we particularly do not like to step in because they have been in others mouths and are gooey and sticky and generally disgusting. If you must spit while walking down the sidewalk (and we all do sometimes) move over to the street and spit. There is no need to spit on the sidewalk that people are walking around on when you could just do it in the street.

    SE01THE TRIPLE+THREAT

    AND LARGE SIDEWALK OBSTRUCTIONS

    RULE#

    SE02THE LEAKY TANK

    OR SALIVA DRIBBLERS

    RULE#

    NOTE: DISREGARD ALL RULES IF YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON THE BLOCK

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    VIOLATION REPORT

    Youre walking and people are all around you, why the hell do you just stop immediately and without warning? Someone said something on the phone? Move out of the way if you cant talk to someone on the phone and walk at the same time. If you need to stop and find out where you are, or for any other reason need to stop while walking, move to the side of the sidewalk, thats what its for. Think of the sidewalk as a street, you are the car and if you stop you will cause a wreck.

    Honestly, your umbrella does not need to be that big, it isnt providing a room for you to leisurely eat a snack and read a book in, its only preventing you from being completely soaked. When you use an umbrella larger than the standard 3ft diameter you are greedily hogging up the precious real-estate of the crowded sidewalk and forcing others out of the way, probably into a puddle or more rain, just because you need a tent when it rains. Consider this when purchasing your next umbrella.

    SE03THE FAULTY BREAKAND OTHER USELESS, ABRUPT STOPS

    RULE#

    SE04THE PEDESTRIAN HUMMER

    OR OVER-SIZED RAIN BLOCKERS

    RULE#

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    modern, real-life public shaming

    Please, just make up your mind so someone can pass you. Remember the sidewalk-is-a-street analogy? Cars dont drive down the middle of two lanes, so what, you think youre better than a car? Be a bit more decisive, take some initiative and stick to one side of the sidewalk. The rule should be: walk on the right, as is customary in this country and most places around the world, but if you cant do that at least choose a side and stay there. COME ON!

    Are you really that lackadaisical? Maybe you were ruthlessly spoiled as a child, but that entire sidewalk doesnt belong to you and your dog. So how about next time someone is walking by, hold your dog close and dont let his or her precious self stray all the way across the cement walkway that we all share. If you didnt notice youre blocking everyone else from walking by, holding them up from doing their thing because of your inattention. Move aside, and tell daddy thanks for the spoiling.

    Honestly, your umbrella does not need to be that big, it isnt providing a room for you to leisurely eat a snack and read a book in, its only preventing you from being completely soaked. When you use an umbrella larger than the standard 3ft diameter you are greedily hogging up the precious real-estate of the crowded sidewalk and forcing others out of the way, probably into a puddle or more rain, just because you need a tent when it rains. Consider this when purchasing your next umbrella.

    SE05THE FENCE WALKER

    AND THE INDECISIVE MIDDLE AREA

    RULE#

    SE06THE LOW CLOTHESLINE

    OR EXTENDED DOG LEASHES

    RULE#

    NOTE: DISREGARD ALL RULES IF YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON THE BLOCK

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    VIOLATION REPORT

    Woah, you do really look cool smoking that cigarette. That smoke just cooly billowing out of your mouth looks so.. cough, cough. Damn, youre so cool its making me choke, I didnt know anyone could do that. Maybe its better if you stand away from me with your cool-self, I dont know if I can handle all that suave flicking and such. How about this, if you have to be this cool, just stand away from the doorway or any outdoor seating where people could be plagued by your coolness.

    Are you with a group of friends? Are you all having a good time standing around, regaling with stories and talking about that new cool band? GET OFF THE SIDEWALK! Youre just standing there crowding around eachother blocking an entire population of people from passing you. Congratulations, you are no more significant than a large orange construction cone. If you have to stop while walking and are with a group of people, looking for directions and what-not, move to the side of the wonderful cement walkway.

    SE07THE COOL CHIMNEY

    AND IMPOLITE HABIT ENFORCEMENT

    RULE#

    SE08THE TEMPORARY ORANGE CONE

    OR FULL ON OBSTRUCTIONS

    RULE#

    NOTE: DISREGARD ALL RULES IF YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON THE BLOCK

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