SHEPHERDING TEENS – CAPTURING OUR KID’S HEARTS

I CORINTHIANS 3:10-15Many parents and church leaders wonder how to most effectively cultivate durable faith in the lives of young people.

PAINFUL REALITIES

In 1945, 70%+ of the population in Great Britain attended church regularly—today it is about 7%.

What happened??

PAINFUL REALITIES Church historians say

that the church in Great Britain, as well as most of Europe, missed just one generation of young people and their families. The result a deathblow to the church.

Today – culture watchers report more than 80% of HS students who attend church will not attend one year after they graduate

BARNA INSTITUTE STUDY   #1 – Churches seem

overprotective.

#2 - Teens’ and twenty somethings experience of Christianity is shallow.

BARNA INSTITUTE STUDY#3 - Churches come across

as antagonistic to science.

#4 – Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic and judgmental.

BARNA INSTITUTE STUDY

#5 – Teens wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity.

#6 - The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.

YOU LOST ME: WHY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THE CHURCH BY DAVID KINNAMAN

TURNING TOWARD CONNECTION

The Sh’maDeuteronomy 6:4-9

In Biblical days the people of Israel had a clear understanding of their role as parents and in family

Parents knew it was their most important calling to impress upon their children the Word of God.

Children knew his or her faith in relationship to the family.

WE MUST CAPTURE OUR KIDS HEARTS THROUGH LOVE AND RESTRAINT

THROUGH LOVE… I CO 13:4-8 A 1993 study by the Search Institute revealed that nothing influences the faith maturity of teenagers as muchas family practice. Be what youWant your kids to be!

According to a 1997 study conducted by Barna Research, 78% of youth indicated that their parents had more influence on their decision making than anyone else in their lives.

I SAMUEL 2:22-25 – ELI FAILED TO RESTRAIN HIS SONS.

RESTRAINT IS NOT JUST PREVENTING BEHAVIOR (THE RULES, WHICH ARE NECESSARY AND RIGHT)

BUT IT IS ALSO A MINDFUL ATTENTION TO WHAT INFLUENCES “GET IN” AND DISTRACT FROM OUR GOALS OF FAITH (SCHOOL, SPORTS, PIANO LESSONS, CHURCH ACTIVITIES.)

THROUGH RESTRAINT

BREAK

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Who was a major influence on you as a teen-ager and why?

2. List 4 kids on whom you currently have influence in their lives?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

3. What are the strengths you bring to those relationships?

4. In what ways can you change to make your impact on those kids more affective?

YOUTH MINISTRY MODEL - TRADITIONAL

YOUTH AND FAMILY MODEL

Kingdom Kids

Non Kingdom Kids

PRACTICAL QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN SHEPHERDING TEENS

1 Corinthians 10:23 “Everything is permissible…but not everything is beneficial”

1. Is this beneficial and helpful?

In areas of great concern and uncertainty is is important to consider these thoughts: Everything is permissible, but is everything we do benefiting us? Will this course of action make me a better and more mature Christian? Will I be more profitable to God and my fellow man if I do this? How does this help my relationship with God?

2. IS THIS CONSTRUCTIVE?

Yes, some things are neutral in spiritual consequences, but not everything is constructive. Although various pursuits are legitimate, they are not all of equal value. Will this course build my Christian character? Will it strengthen me and equip in the task of building up the church? Is it edifying for others?

3. WILL THIS THING ENSLAVE ME? 1 Corinthians 6:12 “Everything is permissible

for me” but Paul says quite emphatically, “I will not be mastered by anything.” Even things that are quite lawful, in and of themselves might exercise an undue influence over your hearts! I caution you to be very careful when making intimate alliances with non-Christians who will have influence over your hearts! Another example: Watching TV, Facebook, anything that occupies too much time and thus holding you back from giving your BEST to God. Other examples are hobbies, clubs, sports, jobs, interests, cell phone games etc. We have to choose our priorities carefully.

4. DOES THIS ACTION STRENGTHEN ME AGAINST TEMPTATION?

Matt 6:13 “Lead us not into temptation.” This is no use in praying, lead me not into temptation , if we ourselves walk strait into it. We practically volunteer to run into sin. Things that make sin easier to digest or more accessible must be considered with greater suspicions and dealt with great resolutions. (Where we go, who we go with, what might we run into etc.) Of course this does not just apply to lewd things. Some very beautiful things and great intellectual things can distract us just as well from our pursuit of God and holy living. Things of the world can dim our spiritual vision and hinder us from running the race, “let us throw off everything that hinders us.” Hebrews 12:1 and Matt 4.

FOR YOUR HEART AS THE SHEPHERD…

1. Learn what it means that I desire mercy, not sacrifice Mt. 9:3 quoting Hosea 6:6. God is concerned with our hearts not our performance.

2. LATITUDE IN JUDGMENT IN THE GRAY AREAS. (ROMANS 14:2-3)

“One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him.” Paul urged tolerance in these gray areas. There will be cultural difference and room for different opinions within the church.

3. THE RIGHT FOR PERSONAL CONVICTION (Rom 14:5) “One man considers one day

more sacred than another, another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” Paul instructs us to come to clear convictions of our own that are squarely based on scripture, not allowing our decisions or conduct to be dictated by someone else. We have to live with the outcome of our decisions, so we should make sure they are based on solid, biblical convictions. Some people are not going to do what we think they should do. Can you have an equal amount of love and tolerance for the person if they don’t do what you want?

4. ACCOUNTABILITY TO GOD ALONE.

(Rom 14:4,12) Paul asks, “who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls.” Further on he writes, “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Live in view of the eternal. God knows what is going on. The good, the bad. Standing before God’s judgment seat along should influence our actions. (Rom 14:10) “For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.”

5. THE ABSENCE IN THE INTEREST OF OTHERS.

Our brothers and sisters are accountable to God too. Rom 14:13. It is not for me to have and harbor a critical spirit toward them. As leaders, we are taught to be critical thinkers. Credit others with the same equity and sincerity we would expect them to have toward you.

THE POWER OF THE FAMILY IN SPIRITUAL FORMATION

A 1993 study commissioned by Newsweek magazine and the Children’s Defense Fun revealed that the following factors were most influential on kids (in order): parents, extended family, coaches, teachers and other adults outside the home, peers and media.

Gentle pressure, relentlessly applied!

THE POWER OF THE FAMILY IN SPIRITUAL FORMATION

BOTTOM LINE: Students are influenced more by their parents than any other single group—including their peers—and those who lack adult (especially parental) influence are more likely to give in to peer pressure.

CONVICTION: We should never underestimate the power of parents in the spiritual formation of their children.

YOUTH AND FAMILY

“Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

-”Rick” Humphrey Bogart to “Captain Renault” at the

end of Casablanca