she said/she saw

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by Norah McClintock

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  • Norah McClintock

    McClin

    tock

    Tegan was in the backseat when her two best friends were gunned down in front of her. Was it an argument over drugs? An ongoing feud? Or something more random? Tegan says she didnt see who did it. Or know why. Nobody will believe her. Not the police; not her friends; not the fami-lies of the victims; and not even Kelly, her own sister. Is she afraid that the killer will come back? Or does she know more than she is saying?

    Shunned at school and feeling alone, Tegan must sort through her memories and try to decide what is real and what is imagined. And in the end she must decide whether she has the strength to stand up and do the right thing.

    But before he got a word out, his eyes shifted from me to the drivers-side window. BOOM!

    BOOM!BOOM!Something stung my cheek. It turned out to be a

    shard of glass.Something splattered all over my face and my

    hair and the front of my coat. It turned out to be blood and brains and tiny pieces of bone.

    Someone screamed. It turned out to be me.

    This is an advance reading copy of the uncorrected proofs. Readers are reminded that changes may be made to the

    copy before publication. All quotations for review mustbe checked against the final bound book.

    012+ teen fiction publication march 2011978-1-55469-335-1 pb $12.95

    to order contact:

    she said / she saw

    advance reading copy

    she

    said

    / she

    saw

    she said she saw mech ARC.indd 2 09/11/10 3:38 PM

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    Text copyright 2011 Norah McClintock

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

    recording or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher.

    Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

    to come

    First published in the United States, 2011 Library of Congress Control Number: to come

    Summary: When Tegan witnesses the murder of two friends, she must struggle with people thinking she knows more than she is saying.

    Orca Book Publishers gratefully acknowledges the support for its publishing programs provided by the following agencies: the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund and the Canada Council for the Arts, and the Province of British Columbia through

    the BC Arts Council and the Book Publishing Tax Credit.

    Cover design by Teresa BubelaTypesetting by Nadja PenalunaCover photo by Getty Images

    orca book publishers orca book publishers po Box 5626, Stn. B po Box 468 Victoria, bc Canada Custer, wa usa v8r 6s4 98240-0468

    www.orcabook.comPrinted and bound in Canada.

    Printed on 100% PCW recycled paper.

    14 13 12 11 4 3 2 1

  • 1Kelly

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    one

    Two things I know:One, everybody has a story to tell, and everybody tells

    their story in a different way. Me, Im cinematic. I see lifemy life, everyones lifelike a movie or a tv drama, or, sometimes, a comedy. My sister Tegan, on the other hand, sees her life like one of those big, fat old-fashioned novels with herself as the tragic (or triumphant) heroine at the center of it all.

    Two, nobody sees the whole story. Nobody can. There are always things in other peoples heads that you cant know, not for sure, not even when other people tell you what theyre thinking, because, lets face it, not everyone tells the truth. Sure, you can guess and maybe even get

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    pretty close to the truth sometimes. But just as often, even more often, youre wrong. And I can guarantee you that almost all of the time there are pieces missingthe things that people are thinking to themselves that they would never say out loud, the things people dont even want to admit to themselves.

    So, if you want to get the whole story (or as close to the whole story as is possible) about my sister TeganDid she see or didnt she?you need to pull the pieces together and then take a good hard look at them and decide for yourself whats true and what isnt. Thats what I had to do.

    Here are the pieces.

  • 3Kelly

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    two

    iNt .KEllY S BEDRooMDAY

    kelly tyrell [thats me], 17, paces in a tight circle on the throw rug in her cluttered bedroom, whose walls are plastered with movie posters and whose shelves are stuffed with videocassettes, dvds and books, most of them about movies and writing screenplays. She is talking into a cell phone.

    KEllY

    What am Imy sisters keeper?

    She turns to the camera as she listens to whatever the person on the other end is saying.

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    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    (to the camera)Jeez, am I ever getting tired of the same questions over and over.

    (into the phone)I already told youI dont know. I wasnt there. (pause) Right. Fine. Great talking to you too.

    She snaps the phone shut.

    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    (muttering)Asshole.

    She flings the cell phone onto the double bed that domi-nates the room and faces the camera again.

    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    (to the camera)Whats wrong with people? Why do they think Im supposed to know every detail of my sisters life just because were practically Twins.

    (making air quotes)What does that even mean? You cant be practi-cally twins any more than you can be almost unique.

  • 5S h E S A i D / S h E S A wAd

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    Twinning is absolute, not relative. Well, you know what I mean. You either are a twin or youre not. Tegan and I are not twins. We were born in the same year, which, if you ask me, was bad planning on someones partMom, are you listening? But we werent born on the same day. We dont have that special bond that twins are supposed to have. We dont spend all of our time together. We dont have a special twin language. Most of the time, we dont even talk to each other. Im not being bitchy or self-serving when I say that thats mostly Tegans fault. Shes the problem in our so-called relationship. Shes always pulling the big-sister routine on me, like a ten-month lead makes her smarter or wiser or better than me. Thats bull. I was potty-trained before her, for Gods sake. Okay, so she gets better grades than me, most of the time without even trying.

    She picks up a brush and starts to brush her hair in front of the mirror on her dresser.

    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    Shes prettier than me too. She looks a lot like Mom, whereas I take after our dad, who was one of those super-nice guys that everyone liked, especially the ladies, even though he was, well, kind of plain and

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    vertically challenged, not to mention follically chal-lenged. But so what?

    She glowers at the mirror and throws down the brush.

    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    Tegan hangs out with a different crowd too, mostly kids a year ahead of us in school, and mostly, if you ask me, because shed rather die than find herself in the same social circle as me. Thats fine with me. Do you think I want to be around my snobby, bitchy big sister every hour of every day? Its bad enough being in so many of the same classes with her. Do you think I care if she wants to act all Im-way-cooler-than-you and get off hanging out with guys like Clark Carson and Thomas Skelton, guys with too much money and even more attitude? Well, I dont. Besides, I have my own thing going. I swim. Im good at it too. I have a wall of medals to prove it. Id rather be in the pool where its all real, where you make it based on what you can do, not on who your parents are and whether you can score booze and weed for your parties while your parents are out of town for the weekend.

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    A VoiCE

    (in the distance, muffled by the door)Kel-ly! Time to set the table!

    kelly opens the door and sticks her head out.

    KEllY

    (shouting)Its Tegans turn!

    thE VoiCE

    She wasnt feeling well, so I told her she could lie down and wed call her when supper was ready.

    KEllY

    (rolling her eyes and muttering to herself )Of course.

    She looks at the camera again.

    KEllY ( CoNt D )

    For those of you who dont know my sister, congratu-lations are in order. But since youre going to meet her, theres something you should know. Shes a

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    drama queen, a real diva-type personality. You know, one of those the-earth-revolves-around-me types. Everything that happens to her is therefore, by defi-nition, phenomenally important. History in the making, right up there with presidential assassina-tions, superstar overdoses or the latest on the Obama kids. She records it all in her All About Me file on her computer, a running documentary on her oh-so-fascinating life that she inputs every night, sometimes more often, depending on what earth-shattering event she happens to be at the center of. I used to ask her, Why do you bother?

    CUt to :

    iNt .tEGAN S BEDRooMNiGht

    tegan tyrell , 17, is sitting at her desk, typing on her computer. One end of the room is filled with shelves that are stuffed with books. Instead

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