Shark Bait S01E04 - Fictious Pulp

Written By

Trevor Cummings

1

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - EVENING

Gill and Dale stand outside, as drones tape off the area.

DALEReady to go in?

GILLLead the way.

INT. APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

A forensics team is dusting for prints. Gill and Dale enter the room.

DALEIt seems that we've got a double murder suicide on our hands. This man here exited the bathroom, shot these two then himself.

GILLNo that can't be right. Maybe it was a robbery gone wrong.

DALEWe already checked, nothing obvious was missing, this one at the table even had change in his pocket.

GILLI've got it! It was the gyro delivery boy! They refused to tip on the basis that the gyros got here 10 minutes late and the Gyro boy got upset and shot all four of them.

DALEThere are only three bodies Gill.

GILLThen why are there four gyros?

Dale, picks up his phone and calls Gyros in a Half Shell.

DALE(Clearly annoyed)

Hi, can you delivery 2 gyros to the precinct?

DALEThanks.

2

GILLRemember to tip or you might get shot.

EXT. PRECINCT - LATER

DREW, a personified turtle driving a gyro delivery scooter. Pulls up to the building.

INT. PRECINCT - MOMENTS LATER

Dale, answers the door and invites Drew in.

DALESorry about this, but can I ask you some questions?

Gill shows up as if from nowhere and draws his gun on Drew.

GILLGET DOWN SCUMBAG YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Dale face-palms.

EXT. INTERROGATION ROOM - MINUTES LATER

Dale escorts Drew out.

DALESorry about all that.

DREWSo am I gonna get paid for the Gyros?

DALEOf course give me a second.

GILL (O.S.)(Yelling)

Don't forget to tip him!

DALEHe doesn't accept tips, remember! Alright here you go.

DREWThanks, and remember "We're the worlds most fearsome gyro joint"

Drew exits the precinct.

3

DALEAlright case closed, it was a double murder suicide.

GILL(mouth full of gyro)

Alright Dale, I guess you're the real "gyro" (hero) today.

DALEGod damn it Gill.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING PRIOR

MANIO, a blue pirate, and Trevor, a personified penguin, stand outside of an apartment and check their weapons.

MANIOAre you ready?

TREVORWhat time is it...8:00? Let's give them a few more minutes.

INT. APARTMENT - MINUTES LATER

WILL (20) is sitting with SHUA, a personified sheep, eating gyros. A third person lays on the couch, gyro in hand.

The door slams open and Manio and Trevor enter the room. Manio stares down Will while Trevor goes to check the kitchen.

MANIOMorning! Gyros eh? Now that's what I call a nutritious breakfast. Do you know what they call gyros in Greece?

WILLUH... No.

MANIOWhat do they call 'em Trevor?

TREVORGyros...

Trevor pulls out a red breifcase, lays it on the table and opens it. His face gets lit up by what's inside.

MANIOTrevor, are we happy?

4

The briefcase contains Tim Horton's Coffee and doughnuts.

TREVOROh yeah we're happy.

WILLOk ok you've got what you came for, you can just leave us alone right?

INT. APARTMENT'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

A man carrying a revolver tries to quiet his breathing.

MANIO (O.S.)Sorry eh. It's just business.

INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Manio draws his weapon and fires four times.

MANIOWhat the fuck?

We see that Manio has missed every shot.

TREVORDamn it!

WILLOh thank G-

The man in the bathroom bursts out and fires in a wide spread. He fires three times killing the man on the couch and Will. His third shot ricochets off of a hanging frying pan and he accidentally kills himself.

SHUA(with no hint of sarcasm)

Man you guys are like the best at this.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING

Manio, Shua and Trevor all climb into their "Fantasy Team Tree Removal" van and drive off.