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first Amendrnent liberals may fear the limp-wristed wrath of the PMRC, butthe real danger to pop music's remaining shred of moral honor isn't freedomof speech, iLrs a conspiratorial movement to de-vitr iol ize and reshape rockand ro11 as a trclassicit medium. The obligatory use of cover material by newand rrseniorrr art ists, combined with the re-shoveling and reshufft ing of o1dmusic and forner pop music stars has resutted in a median-crossing compostheap of ageless pop fodder. Rock music has become everything it started outnot t,o be - a formlfized inbred academic experience - prized more for itsrrclassicaltr heritage and sound quality than its exuberance andexplosiveness.We can attribute this melancholy state of affairs to three convergingtrends: the sanctif ication of past pop music via academic and culturalyahoos; the merchandising of nrusic publishing through CDs, retro-videos andself-serving TV and f i ln tr ibutes; and the compulsory use of cover songsunder the covenants of an inplied record conglom conspiracy.

Continued on page 3

FROM th6 Ed.itorBORN AGAIN - T oE

_T'Ihe tast

Temptation of Christrr has convinced the brass atMCA/Universal to grind out the expectedseguels. Already on the boards rrRise andShine: Jesust View From Heavenrr and rrReturn toSender: The Second Coning of Christtt . Across-merchandising campaign with McA, the Vat-iCan and-swatEfr is said toinclude the f irst-ever trHoly Jeansrr (with cross-sti tching and crucif ixzippers) .YUPRAPPERS RETURN - The white-bred success of the Beastie Boys conbined withthis summer's rap smash fr lnsider Tradintrr by Ivan B. has demonstrated torecord congloms that caucasian upper class hip hop may have finalty found anaudience. Expect albums from Public Offering, L.L. Bean J. and Run BMW onthe newly formed Filofax label (which just inked a distribution deal withWindham H i l I ) .FM YEAR PIrAN - It's been almost five years of Maximum A&R Exhilaration andplans for our special Half-Decade Anniversary are in the works. Expect theIong-awaited trNew Privacy: The Other Siderr in futl length book form as weIIas our equally anticipated Cookbook and Exercise video: rrEat It and Weeprr.Yeah - You need schoolinr and that 's no foolin'! See ya on the campus.

(c) l -988 A&R

School !

lettenz..IIre l"ale Orcerr"llltlvllle"TO TIIE EDITOR

Dd I miss something?Dd everybody but me know "Hits-

ville" was going?Is this the way You wanted it?C'odlFirst the A&R R@ starts clarg-

r'4g for its subscriptions, and now t}tisdreadful blowl

How much can we take?Cheesel

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rrClassictt Pop/Rock (Continued frorn Page 1-)

Most distressing of al l of these trends is the consecration of pop music viathe media. The mort i f ic r rRock and RoI l HaI I o f Famerr , Rol l ing Stone's t t25

Years of Rockrr and the repulsive academic seriousness which is propping upretired boy-wonders l ike George Harrison, Robert Plant, Steve Tyler, andBrian Wilson has resulted in a f latulent resurgence of cultural pancakeslike rrsergeant Pepperrr and rr l ,ed Zep IIrr. New groups l ike Xingdom Come andGuns N' Roses must swear their musical al legiance to these aging icons orrun the wrath of media outrage. This right-wing academic approach borrowsheavily from the world of classical music in which performers are obliged toworship at the temples of past masters lest they run the indignation and ireof cri t ics and audiences.Egually upsett ing has been the infection of today's youth with thepfe-tested pre-digested rnusic sendiUil i ty of their parents. Therevolutionary capabil i ty of pop/rock has been replaced by an endless slew ofretro vid soundtracks and LaBarnba-styled tributes, the most obnoxious beingthe interminable chart presence of rrMore Oirty Dancingrr. By irnplanting pastmusic into the minds of youth, the unique rebell iousness of rryouth musicrr isneutered. Eguatly neutering is the rrsharingrrof music by adults and youth.The pre-tested success of women in underwear and endlessly changing imageryappeals to Pops as weII as to Junior, drawing the whole fanily into thehypno-video watching mirror of modern l i fe.But the pathetic tai l-bit ing neo-classical syndrome is evidenced mostobviously in the current trend toward compulsory rrcoverrr replication.Unbeknownst to the average conned-sumer, the recording industry has made itstandard practice for art ists to irnpl iedly covenant to include classicrrcoversrr on nehr recordings. Whether i t ts Cheap Trick doing rrDon't Be Cruelr lor LOTOOO Maniacs doing r rPeace Tra inrr the rnessage is c lear - i f you want tobreak through on any radio or retail format, you must pay homage to thepast. Some stars have tr ied to buck this trend but increasing pressure frominternational publishing congloms has forced most art ists to fork overtr ibutary t i the in the form of mechanical royalt ies.The result of al l this is that pop/rock now has al l the accoutrements ofclassical music. We watch in awe as Keith Richards does an rrArthur Fiedlerttstyled tr ibute to Chuck Berry. MTV's rrPost-Modern Hourrr and rrCloset

Classicsrr treat pop music with a studied, academic repugnance. Rocktheorists debate the audiophile quali ty of I 'satisfactionrr on CD. Televisionand pr in t ads se l l us r rc lass icr r CD col lect ions. Rock, I ike c lass ica l music ,has become a masturbatory varnpire, feeding on itself.Though this fr ightening and irreversible situation may have some l istenersupset, there is a bright side to rock's genetic inversion - by el ininating

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REPORT;OFTEN TN ERROR - NEVER IN DOUBTN