• In a perfect world, there would never be any In a perfect world, there would never be any reason for apologies. People would always get reason for apologies. People would always get along and never say or do anything hurtful. along and never say or do anything hurtful.

• Because the world is imperfect we can not Because the world is imperfect we can not survive without saying Sorrysurvive without saying Sorry

• Failing to apologize is the root of many Failing to apologize is the root of many marriage conflictsmarriage conflicts

• Apology, Forgiveness and Reconciliation are Apology, Forgiveness and Reconciliation are main characters of a healthy relationshipmain characters of a healthy relationship

• Mt. 6:14&15Mt. 6:14&15• لكم 14 14 يغفر زالتهم للناس غفرتم ان لكم فانه يغفر زالتهم للناس غفرتم ان فانه

. السماوي ابوكم . ايضا السماوي ابوكم تغفروا 1515ايضا لم تغفروا وان لم وانزالتكم ايضا ابوكم لكم يغفر ال زالتهم زالتكم للناس ايضا ابوكم لكم يغفر ال زالتهم للناس

Do I have to give an apology for the other person Do I have to give an apology for the other person to forgive me?to forgive me?

• What is the importance of saying sorry since the What is the importance of saying sorry since the other person is going to forgive anyways??other person is going to forgive anyways??

• Eph. 4:32Eph. 4:32• شفوقين 32 32 بعض نحو بعضكم لطفاء شفوقين وكونوا بعض نحو بعضكم لطفاء وكونوا

في ايضا الله سامحكم كما في متسامحين ايضا الله سامحكم كما متسامحينالمسيحالمسيح

• How does God forgive us??How does God forgive us??• 1Jn 1:91Jn 1:9• حتى 9 9 وعادل امين فهو بخطايانا اعترفنا حتى ان وعادل امين فهو بخطايانا اعترفنا ان

. اثم كل من ويطهرنا خطايانا لنا . يغفر اثم كل من ويطهرنا خطايانا لنا ان ان 1010يغفرليست وكلمته كاذبا نجعله نخطئ لم اننا ليست قلنا وكلمته كاذبا نجعله نخطئ لم اننا قلنافينافينا

• For an apology to be accepted by the other For an apology to be accepted by the other person it has to be genuine and convey your person it has to be genuine and convey your sinceritysincerity

• Expressing regret shows the offended person Expressing regret shows the offended person that you feel his/her hurt and are really sorry that you feel his/her hurt and are really sorry for being a cause to such pain.for being a cause to such pain.

• Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do that caused hurt to the other personthat caused hurt to the other person

• Without an expression of regret, the offended Without an expression of regret, the offended will not be satisfied with your apology neither will not be satisfied with your apology neither be willing to reconcilebe willing to reconcile

البشــا شــة

Cheerfulness

• Robert and Mary are married for 5 years, last Robert and Mary are married for 5 years, last Monday, being too busy at work, Robert forgot Monday, being too busy at work, Robert forgot his promise to meet her at a restaurant to have his promise to meet her at a restaurant to have a dinner outsidea dinner outside

• She went to the restaurant but he did not show She went to the restaurant but he did not show upup

• He called her in his way home and said (I’m He called her in his way home and said (I’m sorry) but it was not good enough for her to her sorry) but it was not good enough for her to her to forgive himto forgive him

• What was wrong with his apology?What was wrong with his apology?

• For an apology to be effective it needs to be For an apology to be effective it needs to be more specific, it is good that you are sorry, but more specific, it is good that you are sorry, but SORRY FOR WHAT??SORRY FOR WHAT??

• It is important to mention the reason for being It is important to mention the reason for being sorry:sorry:

• ““I am sorry that you had to go to the restaurant I am sorry that you had to go to the restaurant and wait for me”and wait for me”

• ““I can imagine how upset I will be if I am in your I can imagine how upset I will be if I am in your situation”situation”

• “ “I know that you were also concerned about my I know that you were also concerned about my wellbeing”wellbeing”

• Angela went on a shopping trip to the states on Angela went on a shopping trip to the states on Saturday leaving her 2 sons 6&3 years old for Saturday leaving her 2 sons 6&3 years old for John her husband to take care ofJohn her husband to take care of

• Instead of coming home at 5pm as planned the Instead of coming home at 5pm as planned the trip was extended to 10pmtrip was extended to 10pm

• When she came home, John was quite When she came home, John was quite frustrated, he gave no response to her “sorry”frustrated, he gave no response to her “sorry”

• Being too tired of the trip she went back to him Being too tired of the trip she went back to him screaming “I said I’m sorry OK”screaming “I said I’m sorry OK”

• What was wrong about her apology??What was wrong about her apology??

• When apology is expressed in a wrong body When apology is expressed in a wrong body language it loses its effectlanguage it loses its effect

• Soft voice, Eye contact, and bowed head Soft voice, Eye contact, and bowed head could show the offended that you feel really could show the offended that you feel really bad and your apology is genuine bad and your apology is genuine

• While visiting their friends last weekend, Bob While visiting their friends last weekend, Bob said some negative comments on the way his said some negative comments on the way his wife Cathy dresseswife Cathy dresses

• Realizing that he hurt her feelings, he tried to Realizing that he hurt her feelings, he tried to apologize to her in their way home:apologize to her in their way home:

• ““Sorry Cathy, but what the way you dressed Sorry Cathy, but what the way you dressed today was really strange”today was really strange”

• Cathy is even more upset of his apology, Cathy is even more upset of his apology, Why??Why??

• Trying to put excuses voids (cancels out) your Trying to put excuses voids (cancels out) your apology.apology.

• Shifting the blame to the offended person Shifting the blame to the offended person turns your apology to an attack that will turns your apology to an attack that will never gain a forgiveness.never gain a forgiveness.

• Genuine regret needs to stand alone, avoid Genuine regret needs to stand alone, avoid linking it to a good excuse or a blame to the linking it to a good excuse or a blame to the offended person.offended person.

• After attending a session on reality discipline, After attending a session on reality discipline, Lydia decided to say sorry every time she shouts Lydia decided to say sorry every time she shouts at her 12 years old girlat her 12 years old girl

• The next morning she tried to wake her The next morning she tried to wake her daughter up to go to school on time. The girl daughter up to go to school on time. The girl refused as she used to, and Lydia started refused as she used to, and Lydia started screaming.screaming.

• ““I am willing to say sorry to you if you first say I am willing to say sorry to you if you first say sorry that you did not wake up on time”sorry that you did not wake up on time”

• How do you like Lydia’s approach? How do you like Lydia’s approach?

• When expressing regret do not expect When expressing regret do not expect anything in returnanything in return

• Remind yourself “I am providing an apology Remind yourself “I am providing an apology for a mistake I have done. I should not expect for a mistake I have done. I should not expect the offended person to apologize for what I the offended person to apologize for what I did wrong”did wrong”

• ““I’m sorry” should be followed I’m sorry” should be followed by what you are sorry forby what you are sorry for

• ““I’m sorry” should be expressed I’m sorry” should be expressed in a right body languagein a right body language

• ““I’m sorry” should not be I’m sorry” should not be followed by “but”followed by “but”

• ““I’m sorry” should not be I’m sorry” should not be conditionedconditioned