say it just right

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Post on 22-Nov-2014

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  • 1. Say It Just Right www.TotalCommunications Coach.com
  • 2. Say What You Want to Say With Confidence www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 3. Open-Ended Questions Whenever I have something to say, I usually what do you usually do? People who always say what they think, make me. . .how do these people make you feel? Confrontations with others cause me to. . .do you love conflict or do you shy away?. . . www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 4. GOALS Define conflict Distinguish what to do when Learning Stance Three Cs SIJR Model www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 5. THE THREE CS Change? Who can you Change? CuriosityGenuine stance Compassion Genuine concern for the other www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 6. Communication Behavior that Transmits Meaning from Sender to Receiver Sender Receiver www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 7. Types of Communication Visual 55% Vocal 38% Verbal 7% www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 8. Vocal Exercise I didnt say he stole the money I didnt say he stole the money I didnt say he stole the money I didnt say he stole the money www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 9. Behaviors Openly Aggressive Assertive Passive Aggressive Passive www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 10. Aggressive Behaviors Im Okay, Youre Not Demanding Angry Condescending Threatening Blaming Controlling www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 11. Passive Behaviors Youre Okay, Im Not Withdraws Walks Away Holds Feelings Inside Doesnt Talk Becomes Depressed Suffers www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 12. Passive Aggressive Behaviors Complains Backstabs Gossips Loud Nonverbals Doesnt Follow Through Pouts Martyrdom www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 13. Assertive Behaviors Im Okay, Youre Okay Problem Solving Disclosing Information Giving Checking Interdependency/Team Player Negotiating Directing LISTENING!!!! www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 14. Communicate with Confidence To know what youre thinking and feeling and to be able to say it just right. www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 15. Say It Just Right Model Decision Points Specify Problem --Costs Invite the Other to Talk --Limits Join Feeling with Fact --Power Resolve the Problem www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 16. Detours Put-Off Poor Me Distracting Negative-vibes Denying Apologizing Blaming Threatening Joking Debating Reinterpreting Procrastinating www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com
  • 17. Ways to Counter Detours Persist Dismiss Disagree Redefine Emphasize Feelings Answer Fast Agree. . .but Question/probe State consequences www.TotalCommunicationsCoach.com