Jellybean Penguins (autobiography)To whoever reading this I just want to say that youre in for the weirdest of autobiographies ever created. Well, probably not. But still, due to the fact that I have no idea what Im typing here and Im just going with the flow and its afternoon, and I havent still eaten a decent lunch, Im betting my ass of that this wont be normal. So where are we again? Oh yes, my autobiography. Well I dont really have anything interesting about me, or so I thought. It all started on a cold December night, when my mom and pops decided to get on with it and stay the night. Like alchemists of ancient magical times they bring forth the ultimate creation of life filled with their love and sincerity, but this are bad times here, bad omens infected the child but just barely. Anyway! They brought upon the earth a child who shared their treasured values and also their imperfections. And the imaginary spirits gathered around the newborn child and spoke. Thy mother is hard working, but youre not. Hey, dont worry. You got her eyes, and her kind heart, but not her brave heart, no you didnt. And as irritating as it may seem the kind spirits spoke again. Thy father is! Well, Thy father is not like your mother; unfortunately youre more like him. We were supposed to say to you what kind of a person he is. But no we wont, for you will know; oh who are we kidding, were doing it for fun! Good luck to you and just like that, the spirits were gone and its touch down back to earth.The little kid grew to be named after the great warrior of Pakistan, a shadow in the night, a jellybean in the morning. His name was, Yuseph Crispe Danger A. Sanaani. How frightening. As he grows up he learned the basics of society and how to mingle with others. Then he understood that the world is messed up. His arms and legs as a teenager were surprisingly thin and average for his large head. Hey, arent we going to fast here? Well, Ill take it slow then. And wait, what was that? Its too weird to understand? Not my fault there, just kidding, ok Ill wind it down. Im Yuseph Crispe A. Sanaani, Im currently 17 years of age, Im single and fertile, wait that was a joke, and no Im not sterile Im really fertile. Well, moving on. As a kid Id always look up at the sky and ask myself that there must be something more than this life, this place. A place named Isabela City, Basilan where mr.Danger here brought havoc and despair when he was born on September 22, 1997. A place where his mother the great immortal queen Adeliza A. Sanaani laid kindness to the neighbors and the uncanny Mr. Abdul S. Sanaani had a lucky strike on Mrs. Sanaani here. Oh, did you know that thy mrs.Sanaani here works as a teacher in the Lamitan High School of wizardry and debauchery? And mr.Sanaani works as a simple yet dedicated member of the Department of Education faculty of dragon slayers? Well I bet that didnt surprise you. And as days goes by and as this autobiography goes by and as my hunger as Im currently working on this autobiography goes by, I decided to share one of my most deepest and darkest secret, I was born on the great Immortal tribe of warriors that gets its strength from sheer faith, the immortal tribe of the Tausug people, and alongside this is my way of life, the religion of Islam. And alongside my religion Im going to share some of little secrets too. I do not know the age and birthday of my great immortal parents, but I do love them. Theyre awesome. I do not know what debauchery is and I have just mentioned it earlier. I do not know who you are, but I do know that our professor will read this, and I hope he wont be angry. And lastly I dont know when will this end so I guess Ill share some more things about me then. I love eating tasty foods that bursts with flavor in my mouth, I like playing my games, deadly games. Im just joking, theyre just typical computer stuffs and game console stuffs. And oh, I hate cockroaches, Id burn the Garden of Eden if I found one there. And yes Im a random thinker so Im going to talk about my Education now, which I found, well. I found it extremely normal. I took my kindergarten days on the prestigious school of Isabela City Elementary Pilot School, and no they do not teach aviation there. And as I grew up, I noticed that my skin is turning to the colors of green and well, just green. And Im also developing nasty tentacles and an antenna in my buttocks, yes. Im becoming an alien, and just like my alien friends that I met in elementary which was in the galactic and for the asians only Isabela East Central Elementary School I was learning new things and making mistakes just like our fore fathers before us did. Like how love hurts, how a painful a dog bites, and what it feels like to see a woman the way men older than us do.Randomly saying again, it was my dream of being a damn great healer of the medical profession. I wanted to save lives, like those of my father and mothers. I wanted to be a good son to them, because I love them as much as they love me, and thats what matters, and also I just got my previous words from this local drama on a cheap television channel, well who cares anyway. The point is, to access my quest to be a healer Ive got to change level and explore another place, here in the magical city of Zamboanga filled with people and teenage girls who just cant get enough of Korean boy groups and that creature named Bieber. But that didnt stop me for reaching out my dreams, as I slay every creep and loot every chest along the way, as I made my way to the great Western Mindanano State University of various professions and students who wants to make a college debut, I have also met other aliens and made contact with them with our ancient language, and way of talking. Many friendships were made many bottles of unhealthy soda drinks were disposed improperly. I was living the life. We played sports like basketball, I sucked. I tried to court some of the humans, but I was rejected because I was green, well until now, perhaps, maybe, Ill be lucky this time. And as much as I wanted to share the romantic side of my life, I find it unfair that the fact you, who are reading this wont even share yours. But I guess thats fine. And yes, did you know Im quite forgetful? I dont really remember some of the things and details revolving my life when I was still in kindergarten, or when I was in elementary, even in high school. Gosh, what a bummer.And now, where are we again? Oh, college. Im currently on the 2nd year of my studies of being a healer here. Never really thought that studying to save people would be this hard, I guess if I would see myself many years from now with enough bravery, stamina, and flexibility and money, and sleep. Ill be a full-blown action packed doctor of the arcane arts of healing that study about the psychology of the mind and body or what they call here in this blasted planet a psychiatrist. Ill build with my money powers a stronghold of my dreams, where me and my family would live, and Ill live there for the rest of my days pondering if I should have taken computer science instead to build my very own robot, but nah, I wont. Wait, do computer science people build robots? Anyway, I also see myself building a great castle for my loving mother and father, where their servants have servants, where there are bath tubs inside the bath tubs, and food is made of gold. In short I see myself having a good life with my family in many years to come, and that many years to come, wont come if I didnt pumped up myself and work hard. Though I have faith, I also have alien friends, and they are the ones that make ones life worth living. So goodbye to you reader, and may you have a good life filled with adventures and random stuffs. And may this random autobiography help you fill your pot of humor and give you a sparkling smirk in your face. I dont know how to end this so Ill just end it with a quote from me. The stars are starting to fall, and so am I, for I am really hungry.

My Mother (cool story)My mother is, well she is a monster. A woman with monstrous beauty and kindness, a monstrous smile, a monstrous laugh; well not monstrous more like a manly one, but either way she is that exception of every flaw that I have in me, she is that someone I will love to run an errand for, she is without a doubt my kryptonite. Except that Im not superman, Im more of a spider person. Anyway! On the last 17 years? Holy nutballs Im that old already; She has been loving me like she always does and Im there just being me and whatever does being me means no one freaking knows exactly even me. I dont even know when I would finish if I would put my feelings towards her into characters with my flashy typing skills, so I would just say whatever comes into my mind whenever I think of her.She has smelly toes. Of that Im certain. But I dont hate them, not at all. My taste in the food that I eat was also really her fault. I mean, come on. Her cooking is so tasty; I wondered where our jar of pepper went just a few moments ago, though I didnt mind them too. No it didnt. Shes also fond of making these sour and clich jokes that most of the time would just make me laugh with my poker face on, but I didnt mind those jokes too; if thats what you call those. Shes tiny and shes plump, but I love those numbers, yes I do. She would often scold me for my laziness in taking care of myself, its not that Im not embarrassed to say these, but well, too bad Im not. Shes that type of a person who just values her principles in life maybe a little too much, though I dont hate that about her too, shes totally my complete opposite, though she affects me in many ways than she can ever thought, maybe its that connection between a mother and her child that lets me feel what she feels the way she reaches out to mine. She is a generous person and she is also a dedicated teacher that loves her job. I remember how she would often tell me stuffs that happened at her school. And I would just stare at her sparkling eyes not knowing that I myself was already smiling too, feeling the happiness and warmth she always bring to us at home, even though she reeks of the smell of chalk and sweat from the long trips she takes just to home from the school where she works.My mother is a symbol of valor, honesty, love, respect, and theres so much to say about her, Id rather have her called superwoman for short, and I believe any daughter or son would feel the same way as I do, what differs is the way and strength of this feeling is. For I am empty without my mother, all of me is everything she does, and everything she felt. What I am now, is basically just me driving my way through life, Ive had some bumps, some scratches, oh yes. But I am well, for she never let me stray too far from the right side of the rode. She was always there ready to listen to my thoughts and ideas, always supporting me, and smiles at me, with her beautiful eyes and that sincere smile that would beat even the brightest sunrise and saddest sunsets. She was and will always be, my first love, the apple of my heart.And now that mothers day is approaching, I just wish that I could whip up something special for her, Im thinking of a cake or maybe just a plain dinner date with her, or maybe we should go to the movies, and just buy popcorns and stuff, we can also take a walk on the park, or just stay at home sharing stories of the things that happened to us in the days that passed. It doesnt matter, as long as we are together, what could matter even more.And as I look back and see and feel everything she had done for me before, I would continue to share her love for her family, I would become a great parent like her, and her dreams for me, as she has always told me before a dozen of times, will all become true. For a mother that doesnt waver on the slightest kind of challenge, I salute myself, and may our bond as mother and son will always be as it has been before, a promised from God. I love you my mother, Mrs. Adeliza A. Sanaani.

Cats (a non-professional guide)What are cats? Well how should I know Im not a vet, nor a cat professional or something now am I? All I know is that I love them and here are some of the things I have fished on the internet about them.Well they say that Cats are the most popular pet in the United States.There are 88 million pet cats and 74 million dogs and also there are cats who havesurvivedfalls from over 32 stories (320 meters) onto concrete, wow thats cool. And did you know that a group of cats is called aclowder? Well I didnt, and to weirdly follow that up; cats have over 20 muscles that control theirears, sleep70%of their lives and a cat also has been mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, for 15 years! His name isStubbs. One ran for mayor of Mexico City in 2013.

CandigatoFacebook: candigato.morris.9In tigers and tabbies, the middle of the tongue is covered in backward-pointing spines, used for breaking off andgrippingmeat and when catsgrimace, they are usually taste-scenting. They have an extra organ that, with some breathing control, allows the cats to taste-sense the air, didnt understand this, but anyhow, moving on. Cats canttastesweetness and owning a cat canreducethe risk of stroke and heart attack by a third, also wikipedia has a recording of a catmeowingbecause, well. Why not?The worlds largest cat measured 48.5 inches long. Evidencesuggests domesticated cats have been around since 3600 B.C., 2,000 years before Egypts pharaohs. A catspurrmay be a form of self-healing, as it can be a sign of nervousness as well as contentment. Similarly, the frequency of a domestic cats purr is the same at which muscles and bones repair themselves. Adult cats only meow to communicate with humans. The worlds richest cat is worth $13 million after his human passed away and left her fortune tohim, lucky bastard. And did you know that your cat recognizes your voice but just actstoo coolto care (probably because they are). Cats are oftenlactose intolerant, so stop giving them milk! And basically all cartoon cats lied to us: Raw fish isoff the tablefor cats as well. The oldest cat video on YouTube dates back to 1894 (when it was made, not when it was uploaded, duh). In the 1960s, the CIA tried to turn a cat into a bonafide spy by implanting a microphone into her ear and a radio transmitter at the base of her skull. She somehow survived the surgery but got hit by ataxion her first mission.The technical term for hairball is bezoar. Female cats are typically right-pawed while male cats are typicallyleft-pawed. Cats make more than 100 differentsoundswhereas dogs make around 10. A cats brain is90%similar to a humans more similar than to a dogs. Cats and humans have nearly identical sections of the brain thatcontrol emotion.A cats cerebral cortex (the part of the brain in charge of cognitive information processing) has 300 millionneurons, compared with a dogs 160 million. Cats have a longer-termmemorythan dogs, especially when they learn by actually doing rather than simply seeing. Basically, cats have a lowersocial IQthan dogs but can solve more difficult cognitive problems when they feel like it. Cats have 1,000 times more data storage than aniPad.It was illegal toslaycats in ancient Egypt, in large part because they provided the great service of controlling the rat population. In the 15th century, Pope Innocent VIII began ordering thekillingof cats, pronouncing them demonic. A cat has five toes on his front paws, and four on the back, unless hes a polydactyl. Polydactyl cats are also referred to as Hemingway cats because the author was so fond of them. There are 45Hemingway catsliving at the authors former home in Key West, Fla.Originalkitty litterwas made out of sand but it was replaced by more absorbent clay in 1948. Abraham Lincoln kept four cats in theWhite House. When asked if her husband had any hobbies,Mary Todd Lincolnis said to have replied cats. Isaac Newton is credited with inventing thecat door.

wifflegif.comOne legend claims that cats were created when a lion on Noahs Arksneezed and two kittens came out. A cat canjumpup to six times its length. A house cat isfasterthan Usain Bolt. When cats leave their poop uncovered, it is a sign of aggression to let you know theydont fearyou. Cats can change their meow to manipulate a human. They often imitate a human baby when they need food,for example. Cats use theirwhiskersto detect if they can fit through a space. Cats only sweat through theirfoot pads.

itdoesfloat.tumblr.comThe first cat in space was French. She was namedFelicette, or Astrocat. She survived the trip. Cats have free-floatingclaviclebones that attach their shoulders to their forelimbs, which allow them to squeeze through very small spaces. Hearingis the strongest of cats senses: They can hear sounds as high as 64 kHz compared with humans, who can hear only as high as 20 kHz.Cats can movetheir ears180 degrees. They can also move their earsseparately. A cat hasdetectedhis humans breast cancer. A cats nose isridgedwith a unique pattern, just like a human fingerprint.

Flickr: 39952962@N00Cats havescent glandsalong their tail, their forehead, lips, chin, and the underside of their front paws. A cat rubs against people to mark itsterritory. Cats lick themselves to getyourscentoff. When a family catdiedin ancient Egypt, family members would shave off their eyebrows as they mourned. They also had elaborate memorials that includedmummifyingthe cat and either burying it in a family tomb or pet cemetery. Cats were mythic symbols ofdivinityin ancient Egypt. Black catsare bad luck in the United States, but they are good luck in the United Kingdom and Australia.imgur.com

Most cats dont like water because their coats do notinsulatethem well enough. However, a cat called theTurkish Vandoes not have that insulation problem and LOVES it. TheEgyptian Mauis the oldest breed of cat. This breed is also the fastestpedigreedcat. The Egyptian word for cat is, in fact,mau.

imgur.comOnly11.5%of people consider themselves cat people. Cat people are also11%more likely to be introverted. Still,cat peopleare more open to new experiences than typical dog people. Catownerswho are male tend to be luckier in love, as they are perceived as more sensitive. Cat owners are17% morelikely to have a graduate degree. Cat people are25%likely to pick George as their favorite Beatle. A cats carbonfootprintis similar to that of a VW Bug, whereas a dogs is more like a Hummer. When your cat brings home a dead mouse or bird, it may do so to show you that yousuck athunting.

Cats have inferior daytime sight, but during the night they need seven times less light than humansto see. The largest litter of kittens produced19kittens. Eighty-eight percent of cats in the U.S. arespayedor neutered. Only 24% ofcatswho enter animal shelters are adopted. Cats are really cool. They are also very soft. Cats for the win!Marshall,C. (March 27, 2014). 82 Astounding Facts About Cats. Retrieved from http://www.buzzfeed.com/chelseamarshall/meows#.plVkOLbEz

Well thats all folks! Those were all the interesting stuff about cats that you should only be aware of. Stuff such as their origins is too boring. Well got to go Bub! The world awaits!

AssesmentNursing DXPlanningInterventionRationaleEvaluation

SD: client verbalizedpang-apat na anak ko nap o ito

OD: client isG4P3A0Bp: 110/80Wt: 48.5 kgHt: 150 cmKnowledge deficit related to high risk pregnancyAfter 8 hrs. of nursing intervention the client will be able to identify and acquire knowledge that she needs related to high risk pregnancyAscertain clients knowledge of or understanding of condition and treatment needs

Asses and assist client to identify learning goals

Identify/provide information in varied formats appropriate to clients learning style.

Identify available community resources/support groupsSo that she can make informed decisions about managing self-care

Helps to frame or focus content to be learned and provides measures to evaluate learning process

Use of multiple formats increases learning retention of materials

Provides additional opportunities for role modeling, skill, training, anticipatory, problems solving and so forth.

NURSING CARE PLANRepublic of the Philippines Western Mindanao State University COLLEGE OF Nursing Zamboanga CityINDIVIDUAL DAILY PROGRAM Summer, S.Y. 2014-2015

SCHEDULE SUMMARYM - ENGLISH 3 (12:30PM-3:30PM), HEALTH ED(4:00PM- 7:00PM) T- INFO(8:00AM-11:00AM), ENGLISH 3 (12:30PM-3:30PM), HEALTH ED(4:00PM-7:00PM)W - INFO(8:00AM-11:00AM), ENGLISH 3 (12:30PM-3:30PM), HEALTH ED(4:00PM-7:00PM)

TH -

F - INFO (LAB) 8:00AM-12:00PM, 12:30PM-5:30PMS -

Name: Sanaani,Yuseph Crispe A. Educational Qualification: __________________ Academic Rank:_________________________Major Assignment: __________________________ DAYC O N T A C T H O U R S

CLASS SCHEDULE

REGULAR SUBJECTSOVERLOADTIMEROOMHRS

SUBJECT IDSUBJECTINSTRUCTORNO. OF STUDSSUBJECT IDSUBJECTINSTRUCTORNO. OF STUDS

M

BSN314844

BSN314763

ENGLISH 3

HEALTH ED12:30PM-3:30PM4:00PM-7:00PM

CN 204

3

3

TBSN314179BSN314844

BSN314763INFO

ENGLISH 3

HEALTH ED8:00AM-11:00AM12:30PM-3:30PM4:00PM-7:00PM

CN 2043

33

WBSN314179BSN314844

BSN314763INFO

ENGLISH 3

HEALTH ED8:00AM-11:00AM12:30PM-3:30PM4:00PM-7:00PM

CN 2043

33

TH

FBSN314803INFO (LAB)MR.DANRIE DUARTE8:00AM-12:00PM12:30PM-5:30PMNE 25

9

S

Sub totalSub Total33

Number of Courses Enrolled

Prepared by:SANAANI, YUSEPH CRISPE A. STUDENT