Sam's List of Guys Better Than Edward Cullen - ICarly FanficBy Gabsikle

Prologue

Carly was making Sam and Freddie watch the Twilight movies. Again. For the past few months, Carly would always choose the Twilight movies when it was her turn to pick for movie night. Her two best friends were getting very, very tired of it. Freddie wanted to run away, and Sam wanted to punch the TV.

"Is she quoting the movie?" Freddie asked Sam.

"Yup."

Freddie groaned. "This movie is so boring." The finished watching Twilight, and were currently in the middle of New Moon.

"Try reading the books." Sam had been forced to read the books when Carly started to read them. Carly had wanted someone to discuss them with since she heard they were so good. Unfortunately for Carly, her friend did not enjoy them as much as she did. Carly absolutely adored Bella and Edward's love story, and wanted a guy just like Edward. Sam found the books dull, wanted to beat up Bella, and thought Edward was an ass.

Even thought Carly was into the movie, she made sure to listen to Sam and Freddie's conversation.

"Fredifer, get me some Wahoo punch," Sam commanded.

"What? Get it yourself, you bum."

Sam punched his arm. "You should be thanking me for giving you an excuse to get away from this movie."

"Maybe I don't feel like tending to your every need."

"Oh. I see how it is," Sam said with an eye roll. "You just don't want to leave your spot next to Carly. You're such a nub."

"Ugh. I'll get your stupid drink." As he walked to the kitchen, Sam tripped him. Freddie got up, shot her a dirty look, and continued to the kitchen.

While Sam stole Freddie's spot on the couch, Carly said, "You really should be nicer to him."

Sam laughed. "Never happening."

Freddie came back with Sam's punch and a bottle of water for himself. He saw Sam in his spot and said, "Really, Sam?"

"What? Are you gonna cry because I stole your spot next to your love?"

He sighed, handed Sam her drink, and sat down.

Carly smirked to herself. Although Sam and Freddie didn't realize it, the two were totally flirting. She didn't notice their strange way of flirting until after about a year of doing iCarly. Even though Sam bullied a lot of people, she was was always harder on Freddie, and Freddie always egged her on. As if he liked her torturing him. Sam would always make fun of him for liking Carly, and Freddie would sometimes jokingly say that Sam secretly had a thing for him. And somehow they managed to mention the other's butt a lot.

Carly realized they eventually developed feelings for each other after Freddie got rid of Missy for Sam. And Sam started to be a little nicer to Freddie. Her realization was the reason Carly thought Sam would hit her after she kissed Freddie. But it didn't seem to bother Sam. Then she found out Sam convinced Freddie that Carly was only into him because he saved her life, so he ended up breaking up with Carly. Carly figured part of Sam did it to keep Freddie-a friend-from getting hurt, and the other part did it because she was jealous that Freddie-the guy she likes-was dating Carly.

Carly knew she could never tell them that she knew they wanted each other. They were both too stubborn to admit it to themselves, let alone her. So Carly decided to wait for them to admit their feelings, which was very frustrating for Carly. She feared it would never happen.

"So what's so special about Edward Cullen?" Freddie asked after they finished the movie. He knew girls went ga-ga for the dude, but her could never understand why.

"You mean besides his deep, passionate love for Bella?" Carly said.

Freddie just nodded.

"Well. He cares so much about her safety. He'd rather die than hurt her. He left her so she wouldn't get hurt, even though it killed him inside. And he was going to kill himself when he thought she was dead because he couldn't exist in a world without her. Just to mention a few."

"Oh please," Sam said. "He acts like Bella can't do anything for herself, even though she got along fine before she met him. He doesn't even care about what she wants. She doesn't want him to leave, he leaves anyway-which completely ruins her. She wants to become a vampire, he refuses for the longest time. And there's the fact he wouldn't let her see her best friend. All

because Alice can't see Bella's future when she's around Jacob. So they freaking kidnap her. Who does that? A douche, that's who. There are a ton of guys better than Edward Cullen."

"Name one!"

"I'll do better than that! After first period on Monday, I'll give you a list of my top ten fictional guys better than Edward Cullen, and explain why they're better."

"You do that. And I'll be sure to laugh at how lame they are."

Freddie found himself somewhat relieved that Sam didn't like Edward Cullen. And he kept thinking all night about how badly he wanted to see that list.

Chapter One: Brian Kinney

It was Monday morning. Sam's first period was Study Hall, and instead of doing the homework she avoided on the weekend as she usually did, she put the final touches on her list.

All weekend she had worked on the list. She kept adding guys, removing them, and re-adding some. She made some bullet points about how each guy was better than Edward Cullen. On Sunday, she went out and bought a notebook just for the list. Each guy had a page dedicated to him. But Sam had one problem. She couldn't figure out her number one guy. Well, she knew who the guy she found WAY better than Edward was. But this guy wasn't a fictional character. And Sam had freaked out when she realized how strongly she felt for this guy, and she wasn't sure she wanted Carly to know about these feelings.

Sam sighed. She decided to just suck it up and make him her number one. Carly was going to be the only person reading it anyway.

After she finished, the bell rang. She quickly shoved all her things into her bag. She didn't notice that the notebook containing her list had fallen onto the floor.

"You have the list?" Carly asked Sam as they reached their lockers.

"Yup." Sam ruffled through her bag. She wasn't seeing the notebook. She started to panic. "Oh chiz."

"What?"

"I lost the list!"

"Sam, calm down," Carly said. She didn't understand why Sam was so upset.

"That list was for your eyes only!"

"So?"

Sam grabbed Carly's shoulder. "Carly I don't want anyone else but you to see my number one. It's not a person I want the entire school to know about."

"Who is it?"

Sam groaned and ran her hands through her hair. "You'll probably find out about it soon enough," she said and stormed off to second period.

Freddie walked into his second period. Study Hall. On the floor by his usual desk, he saw a notebook. He picked it up. The cover said: Sam Puckett's Top Ten List of Guys Better Than Edward Cullen.

Freddie chuckled. Only Sam would put so much effort into something that lame and pointless.

Then Freddie realized something. He could torture Sam with this. He knew she had to be going crazy over losing it. He was going to make her suffer.

He decided he would read two guys a day. Only in school. That way he could give her the full list back by Friday. Then he'd make a copy of the guy and place it on her locker. She would freak out knowing someone had it, and was rubbing it in her face.

He opened the book and began to read.

Number 10: Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk

Yes, Carly, I'm aware he's gay. But you know he's way sexier than Edward.

But let me get to the important reasons why he's better.

As you know, Brian is an uber slut. He used to only care about himself. And getting laid. Then he met Justin. The man who didn't believe in love, fell in love.

Remember when he finally told Justin he loves him? After someone bombed the club, Babylon? Sweetest moment ever. Way sweeter than any Bella/Edward moment. Once he found out about the explosion, all he cared about was getting there to make sure Justin was still alive. You know how big a deal that was. It took five seasons for Brian to finally admit it.

You see, Brian took his time to finally say he loves Justin. Unlike Edward who went all love crazy after, like, two seconds of knowing Bella. Psycho killer much?

And Brian was never overly cheesy. The lion fell in love with the lamb? Ew. Who wants to be called a lamb? Sheep just blindly follow people. They don't think for themselves. It seems sweet, but it's totally an insult. Brian would never insult Justin that way. And he didn't try to keep Justin attached to his hip all the time. He always tried to convince Justin that he didn't NEED Brian to survive. He even convinced Justin to go off to New York to pursue his art career. Would Edward do something like that? I think not. I mean, yeah he left Bella because he thought it was for her own good. But he had already made Bella dependent on him. Basically, she was screwed. Brian would never make it that way for Justin.

So there you go. Brian Kinney beats Edward Cullen. And he's most likely better between the sheets than Edward. Just saying.

Freddie rolled his eyes. Sam WOULD be into a guy like that. Freddie couldn't understand how she could be into such a jerk like couldn't she just go for a nice guy?

Freddie thought for a minute. He decided to write a reply to Sam's number ten guy.

Every time someone looked at Sam, she was afraid they knew her secret. The paranoia was driving her mad.

She walked up to her locker. There was a note taped to it.

"Oh dear god," she said after she saw there was a response.

"What?" Carly asked as she and Freddie came up to Sam.

"Someone has the list! They made a copy of number ten for you." She shoved the copy at Carly.

"Can I see?" Freddie asked. He figured asking that would help make him look innocent.

"NO!" Sam snapped. "Anyway, whoever has the list left a reply." She went on and read the note.

Hey Sam,

I'd just like to say that, being a guy, I'm glad you made this list. I'm sick and tired of hearing all these girls talk about how wonderful this Edward guy is. It's refreshing to know a girl doesn't like him.

Anyway, after I read this, I Zaplooked Brian Kinney. He sounds like an asshole. I guess it was nice that he cared about that Justin dude, but he was so cruel to everyone else. Even his best friend. All he seems to

do is piss people off. Who'd want someone like that? Well... I guess you do.

BUt I did like the points you made against Edward. I heard that lion and lamb quote before, and found it stupid. So thanks for pointing out the stupidity.

Oh. And that whole Babylon exploding thing? Yeah. Queer as Folk totally jumped the shark with that.

Sincerely,

Anti-Edward

P.S. You won't be getting this list back until after I finish reading all of this.

"How dare he say QAF jumped the shark!" Sam yelled. "And I can't believe he won't give my list back!"

"How dare YOU trash such a sweet quote!" Carly yelled at Sam. "And how dare he agree with you!"

Freddie rolled his eyes. "I think you're both insane." But he was smiling on the inside. He liked that he managed to anger Sam. And he couldn't wait to anger her even more.

Chapter Two: Eric Northman

Sam slammed her locker shut. The more she thought about Mr. Anti-Edward, the angrier she got. How dare he mess with her? No one messes with Sam Puckett. Once she finds out who he is, she's gonna beat the chiz out of him.

"Sam, it's gonna be OK," Carly said as they walked to class.

"No it's not! What if Anti-Edward tells everyone who my number one is?"

"It's not a big deal, Sam."

"Yes it is! Anti-Edward is gonna die!"

Freddie took a seat in his computer science class. Since he knew more than the teacher, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted during class. It was the perfect time to read Sam's next guy.

Number 9: Eric Northman from True Blood

Oh look, Carly, it's a REAL vampire. That's probably the main reason I put him on this list.

You see, unlike Edward, Eric actually has fangs. And he doesn't sparkle. A true vampire doesn't sparkle. Vampires BURN AND DIE in the sun. Not sparkle.

Also, like a real vampire, Eric oozes sex appeal. You see him and you just want to jump into his Scandinavian pants.

Eric doesn't pretend he's a manipulative ass. He knows it, and is proud. Edward acts like Mr. Nice Guy, but he's totally emotionally abusive.

Something better about Eric-and all True Blood vampires-is they can bite you while getting it on. You can experience the joys of being bitten without being poisoned. You know there's something hot about being bitten and having a vamp drink your blood during sex, Carly.

OK. Maybe I should stop talking about vampire sex.

Alright. So Eric is actually a powerful vampire. Not some pansy like Edward. He's the sheriff of Area 9 (A/N I think it's area 9. Either that or area 5...). He's the boss of that whole district, or whatever. And his people listen to and respect him. Does Edward do anything like that? Nope. No one listens to Edward, or fears him the way a leader should be listened to and feared. You know why? Because he freaking SPARKLES. No one takes a sparkly "vampire" seriously, Carls.

Eric also owns an awesome club. You know, Fangtasia. Where he sits on a thrown like the smexy Viking king he is.

Eric can also fly. Yeah, Edward can run fast, but he can't fly, can he? And Eric can move all fast too. Except when he does, it looks like he's floating on air. Eric can float on air AND fly. Beat that Edward.

Finally, Eric could fully kick Edward's ass in a fight. I mean, Eric got turned into a vampire while he was dying from a battle wound. Edward was dying from Spanish Influenza when he got turned. Now, which seems more badass?

Well, that's it for Eric, I guess.

Freddie couldn't understand why another jerk made Sam's list. And so far, one of the reasons the past two guys were better then Edward was because of sex. Then Freddie started to wonder if Sam had had sex before. The idea made him sick. If he found out she did, he decided he would beat the crap out of the guy.

Freddie shook the thoughts out of his head, took a deep breath, and wrote his response.

Sam was ready for her favorite period of the day. Lunch. She planned on pushing Anti-Edward out of her mind, and concentrate on her food.

Those dreams were ruined when she saw the note on her locker.

She groaned, took the note, and stomped off to meet Carly and Freddie at lunch.

She sat down with her friends. "Here's guy number nine," she mumbled and handed the copy to Carly.

Carly looked at her friend. "Eric?"

Sam glared at her. She knew Carly found Eric hot too, and would've reminded her if she wasn't so pissed at Anti-Edward. "Just read it."

When Carly finished, she said, "What did Anti-Edwrd say?"

Sam read it aloud to Freddie and Carly.

Hello again, Sam.

I guess this Eric person sounds better than Edward. The flying thing is pretty cool. I'd LOVE to be able to fly.

Thank you so much for making fun of the sparkling. I would punch a sparkling man. And that says a lot since I'm not a violent person. Well, I did slap someone once, but she slapped me first.

Anyway, I was wondering why you seem so obsessed with sex. It seemed to be very important to you with these past two guys. Is it important to you because you've already done it? Just wondering.

Bye,

Anti-Edward

"I'm going to kill him," Sam hissed. "Once I find him, he won't have a head."

"I can't believe he questioned your virginity," Carly said.

Freddie was relieved to know that Sam hadn't had sex. But he got a little afraid for his life. But Sam didn't know it was him, so he felt a little more safe.

"This Anti-Edward douche needs to learn that girls think about sex too. He really needed some sense knocked into him. He seemed like an idiot.

"Girls think about sex?" Freddie asked.

"Duh."

"This conversation has gotten real awkward, real fast," Carly commented.

"Girls can't possibly think about sex as much as guys," Freddie said. He never thought girls could be like that.

"Girls are pervs too, Fredicini. We're just better at hiding it," Sam told him.

"I've never heard you and Carly talk about it."

Carly found this whole conversation ridiculous. "That's because you're a guy!" Carly yelled. "It's weird. Just like this conversation." Her two friends just ignored her.

Sam was curious about something, so she asked, "Have you done the nasty, Freddie?" If he had, Sam decided she would murder the girl.

"Nope."

Sam let out an inward sigh of relief.

"OK, let's stop talking about this!" Carly squealed. "This is not an appropriate lunch time topic!"

Sam and Freddie looked at each other then cracked up at their friend's prudeness.

Chapter Three: Zuko

Sam didn't get any other notes from Anti-Edward on Monday. When she walked into school on Tuesday, she tried her best to listen to people's conversations. So far no one had mentioned her or the list.

"When is Anti-Edward going to to give my list back?" Sam asked in frustration.

"When he's done reading it?" Carly said.

"Why is it so important you get it back?" Freddie asked. He had promised himself he wouldn't peak ahead in the list, no matter how much he wanted to. It was worth it to watch Sam's frustration.

"Because of my number one," Sam said.

"You keep mentioning your number one. Who is it?" Carly asked. She really wanted to know who it was, and why people knowing would embarrass Sam.

"You'll find out when Anti-Edward gives me the copy," Sam told her.

Which, Freddie knew, wouldn't be until after his Computer Science class on Friday. And Carly would finally find out who Sam's number one was that day. And so would he.

"I would like to know who it is as well," Freddie put in.

Sam's heart leapt a bit. She especially didn't want Freddie knowing her number one.

"You'll never know, Frednub."

The bell rang for first period. Sam walked off without saying good-bye.

"She's gonna murder someone if Anti-Edward doesn't give her list back soon," Carly said.

Freddie sighed. "I don't know what the big deal is. You, Sam, and Anti-Edward are the only ones who see the list."

"She's afraid he'll share her number one with everyone."

"Is it that embarrassing?"

Carly shrugged. "I guess so. I gotta go to class."

Freddie couldn't wait until Friday to find out who Mr. Number One was.

Freddie was smiling as he took his seat in Study Hall. It was time to see the next guy.

Number 8: Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender

Oh Prince Zuko, you were such a jerk in Book One. And so not hot until you started to grow hair in Book Two.

I know you're into Zuko too, Carly, don't lie.

Hmm... Let's see. What arguments can I bring up about him being better than Edward Cullen? Oh. I know.

In Twilight, vampires can only be killed by being chopped to pieces and burned, right? Well, Zuko could kill Edward easily. His awesome swordsman skills take care the chopping Edward up. Plus, Zuko's a firebender. A nice little blast of fire, there you go. Edward's body bits are burning.

I would just like to point out how awesome Zuko is overall. For all of Book One, he was the bad dude. Slowly, we learn he's a much more confused and complex young man. We get to see him turn into a good guy.

He eventually teams up with the Avatar, Aang (as you know), so that he can beat Zuko's dad. Zuko also manages to take down his psychopath of a sister.

Zuko strayed off the path of bad and moved onto the path of good. He helped Aang in his mission to bring balance back into the world. Has Edward ever helped bring balance back into the world? Nope. He just spent his time stalking Bella.

Freddie definitely thought Zuko was better than the other two guys on Sam's list. He was a fan of Avatar, and Zuko was one of his favorite characters.

He went and wrote his reply.

Sam was walking as slowly as she could to her locker. She didn't want to find another note. But, alas, she did.

Freddie and Carly were staring at her locker.

"Open the note," Carly commanded.

Sam rolled her eyes. She handed Carly the copy of guy number eight, and let her read it.

Carly gasped. "You explained how Zuko would kill Edward?" Carly was highly offended.

Freddie laughed at Carly's reaction, and the image that had been floating around in his head of Zuko killing Edward.

"I was just pointing out that Zuko has the tools to kill Edward if he wanted to," Sam said. "I wasn't saying that I want Zuko to kill him."

Freddie smirked at her. "But you really do want him to."

Maybe," Sam said with a smile.

Carly glared at them, but found their little moment sweet. Even if the moment was over the murdering of a vampire that she loved. "Just read what Anti-Edward said."

Sam,

I'm a huge fan of Avatar. It's such a good show, and I can't wait for the live action movie.

I would like to say that Zuko is one of my favorite characters from the show. I must admit, though, the Toph is my number one favorite. She kind of reminds me of a girl I know. She's sarcastic, doesn't take shit from anyone, and kicks ass. It's a shame she and Sokka never got together.

Anyway, when you described how Zuko could kill Edward, I wanted to laugh. But I had to keep myself from cracking up so I couldn't draw attention to myself in class. I find it very probable that Zuko could take Edward down. I'd actually put money on that.

I approve of this guy on your list. Much more then the last two. Good job.

Anti-Edward

"OK. So maybe Anti-Edward isn't that bad," Sam admitted.

"How so?" Carly asked.

"Dude, Fredpuss and I could totally hang out with this guy. I mean, he can't wit to see the live action movie, and knows that Toph and Sokka belongs together."

"Yeah. Screw Suki," Freddie said. Carly wasn't as into Avatar as he and Sam. She just kind of tolerated it when they watched it.

Sam smiled at what Freddie said, and gave him a high five. He was happy that he was able to win Sam over as Anti-Edward. It might've been better than pissing her off.

Chapter Four: Dean Winchester

Sam was kind of looking forward to the next note from Anti-Edward. The last note made he seem like a pretty cool dude. And yeah, he had assumed she had gotten it on before, but she decided to forgive him. He was a guy after all. Guys are stupid. Example: Freddie thought girls didn't think about sex.

"When do you think he'll send another reply?" she asked Carly.

"Well, the first one you got today was the same time as the first from yesterday."

"So between this period and lunch I'll get it."

"I guess. Why are you so excited now? Just this morning, you were crazy paranoid."

"Well, I have no decided that he's cool."

Carly shook her head. Only Sam could change her mind so quickly about a person just because they agree with her on some things. She decided against reminding Sam of her anxieties about the mysterious guy number one. She didn't want to deal with a paranoid Sam again.

After her helped a fellow student-Gibby-with an assignment in their computer science class, Freddie moved on to Sam's next guy.

Number 7: Dean Winchester from Supernatural

You think Edward drives a sexy car? That stupid silver Volvo? That's SUCH a girly car compared to Dean's black '67 Impala. Plus, hidden in the trunk of his car are some kick ass Supernatural fighting weapons. Does Edward fight the Supernatural? Nope. He barely fights the bad dudes in the series.

Also, Dean is destined to try to stop the world from coming to an end. He's supposed to be Archangel Michael's vessel for the epic battle between Michael and Lucifer. Last time I checked, Edward never played an important role in saving the world. Dean even has an angel friend helping him out, Castiel-who's also pretty hot himself.

And yes, Carly, I realize the plot of the show is much more complicated than I'm describing. But since you know what's going on, I refuse to summarize the whole show.

Oh. Guess what? Like Zuko, Dean could easily kill Edward. I mean, he was trained to kill Supernatural beings since he was a kid. He's got that chiz down. Bye-bye Edward.

Tee-hee.

Freddie smirked. Sam's little tee-hee at the end was very cute. Suddenly, he got really confused. Did he just think something Sam did was cute? That wasn't a usual thought for Freddie.

He pushed the idea of Sam being cute out of his head, and wrote his reply.

Freddie waited for Sam and Carly by their lockers. He pretended to be looking at the note taped to Sam's locker with curiosity. Freddie refused to put the

notes on Sam's locker between classes. Too many witnesses. He would ask to use the bathroom during class, and do it then.

The two girls walked up to him.

"Ooh. Anti-Edward strikes," Sam said. She ripped the note off her locker and ran to lunch.

"She's happy about Anti-Edward now?" Freddie asked.

Carly sighed. "Ever since she found our he likes Avatar, he's like her new best friend. She wouldn't shut up about him in History."

Freddie smiled. It made him happy that Sam was so excited about his notes. Then he wondered why he was so happy about her being excited. His main goal was to annoy her, not put her in a good mood. What had happened to make him switch it up?

"Freddie!" Carly yelled. She had been trying to get his attention, but he was lost in thought. She was hoping that he was jealous of this Anti-Edward, and finally starting to realize how he felt about Sam.

He snapped out of his thoughts. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Um. Let's go to lunch."

"Took you guys long enough," Sam said when they finally joined her. "Here you go, Carls." She handed Carly guy number seven.

Carly scoffed when she looked at it. "DEAN? Sam totally beats Dean."

Sam snorted. "Sam's hot and all, but he can be a little bitch sometimes. And he's a drug addict."

"He's no longer drinking demon blood!"

"Just because he doesn't do it anymore, doesn't mean he's magically no longer an addict. Plus, he's Lucifer's vessel."

"He doesn't want to be Lucifer's vessel! He won't let Lucifer possess him!"

"It's his destiny!"

"Screw destiny!"

"Guys!" Freddie yelled. While the conversation was fun to listen to, he knew it could go on forever if he didn't stop it. "Carly, just read the rest of whatever Sam writes on this list." Sam and Carly still refused to let Freddie read the list. He pretended to be annoyed.

"Aw. Are you jealous Carly's talking about a guy who's not you?" Sam asked bitterly. More bitterly than she planned.

"No! I just don't want you two to get into a huge argument over fictional brothers."

"Dean beats Sam," Sam said.

"Sam beats Dean!" Carly yelled.

"LIES!"

Freddie threw a pack of Fat Cakes at Sam. He knew they would make her shut up. "Carly, finish reading."

Carly did so while Sam scarfed down the Fat Cakes.

"More talk about killing Edward?" Carly asked with a sigh.

Sam just gave her friend an evil smile.

"Just tell me what Anti-Edward said," Carly whispered angrily.

Sam,

A '67 Impala is absolutely better than some stupid Volvo. Being a guy, I feel like I could get more girls driving an Impala. Especially Dean's. It just makes a guy look so badass.

I love how this is the second time you talked about how someone could kill Edward. It made me happy.

And I found the little tee-hee at the end cute. Just saying.

Well, that's all I got for now. Sorry for the short response.

Anti-Edward

"Are you blushing?" Carly asked Sam.

"Well. He kinda called me cute," she said.

"I never thought I'd see the day a guy would make Sam Puckett blush," Freddie said. For some reason, he felt really happy that he was the guy who made it happen.

"Shut up, Fredweenie!" Sam yelled then punched him.

The bell rang. Telling them lunch was over.

"Well, see ya," Freddie said as he got up.

"Yeah. Bye," Sam said. But before leaving, she yelled, "DEAN BEATS SAM!" then ran away.

"Ugh!" Carly said. "Why does she get to have the last word?"

Freddie laughed as Carly stomped away.

Chapter Five: L

It was Wednesday. Sam was again in her first period Study Hall. She was Re-reading the notes from Anti-Edward. She really wanted to know who he was. She would totally be friends with him.

And for some reason he called her cute. She couldn't stop thinking about that. Did he know her personally? And if he did, did the cute comment mean he liked her?

She decided she needed to discuss it all with Carly.

The bell rang, and she dashed off to speak to her best friend.

"Do you think Anti-Edward has a thing for me?" Sam asked Carly as soon as she walked up to her.

"Um. I don't know. Why?" Carly thought that Anti-Edward best not be into Sam. He could ruin Sam and Freddie's chance at being together.

"Well, I've been reading his notes again. He seemed to really dislike Brian and Eric, and he called me cute."

"Are you talking about Anti-Edwrd again?" Freddie asked as he joined them.

"Sam's wondering if he's into her," Carly told him.

"Oh. Huh." Was that true? Was Freddie into Sam? He couldn't be. He and Sam were just friends. There's nothing wrong with calling a friend of the opposite sex cute. Right? It didn't have to have a deeper meaning.

"Well, what do you think?" Sam asked Freddie.

"Um. He could. You never know."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Wow. Thanks for all the help, Fredly."

Carly couldn't help but notice Freddie looked a little sick. Was he jealous of Anti-Edward? She sure hoped so.

Freddie sat in Study Hall staring at the notebook containing the list. He couldn't stop thinking about the conversation that had happened mere minutes ago. Did he like Sam? Is there any possible way he could like Sam?

He decided to not think about it while he read the next guy.

Number 6: L from Deathnote

I know you haven't read the manga or watched the anime, Carly, but you totally should.

L's just SO adorable. His social awkwardness makes me giggle. And I just love how he sits, and never wears shoes.

Like me, he has a food obsession, but instead of meats, it's sugary foods. He stirred his tea with a lollipop once. He also puts, like, five thousand pounds of sugar in his tea.

I'm sure you're wondering how he's better than Edward, because I know none of the facts above are good enough for you. You see, L's a freaking genius. I know what you're thinking. Edward's really smart. Well, duh he's smart. He's been around since the 1900's and has graduated from high school dozens of times. Of course he knows chiz. But L was born a genius, OK? He's solved a crap load of crimes. It's a shame he didn't live to see Light get taken down. But at least he knew he was right in his belief that Light was Kira. Rest in peace, my dear L.

Not that you have any idea what I'm talking about, Carly.

Freddie smiled. He remembered when Sam forced him to read the manga. He tried to refuse, but she threatened him. In the end, he was glad she made him read it. It turned out he loved it. But he never knew Sam thought L was adorable. Suddenly, he became a little jealous of L. Then he freaked out for being jealous. Was Sam right? Did he have a thing for her?

He took a deep breath and wrote his reply.

"Why hello, Anti-Edward," Sam said when she saw the note.

"Let me see who number six is," Carly demanded. Sam handed her the copy. "L?"

"You put L on the list?" Freddie asked, pretending to be surprised.

Sam smiled at him. For a second he thought he felt his heart flutter. "You know how awesome L is," she said.

"Very true."

"If he's so awesome, why'd he die?" Carly asked when she finished reading.

"You wouldn't understand," Freddie told her.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. You'd have to be a Deathnote fan to fully understand."

"Tell us what your new boyfriend said," Carly said with a glance at Freddie, hoping she would get a reaction out of him. She saw him blush. Why a blush? she wondered.

"He's not my boyfriend," Sam said. "Now shut up and listen."

Sam,

I feel I have to tell you that I wish I was L. It would be so awesome to be the greatest crime solver in the world. So yeah, that makes him better than Edward.

You know, I wouldn't have known who L was if one of my friends didn't force me to read the manga. I'm grateful to her for that.

Oh. And Light was a total douche. I'm so glad Ryuk killed him in the end.

Bye for now,

Anti-Edward (AKA the Guy Jealous of L)

"Who's Ryuk?" Carly asked.

"A shinigami," both her friends answered.

"OK then..."

Sam turned to Freddie. "Fredward, we SO need to meet this guy."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah. He's into a lot of the same stuff as us."

Carly couldn't help but think that was a strange coincidence. But there was no way Freddie could be Anti-Edward.

The bell rang.

"Come on Sam," Freddie said, "let's go to English."

When they sat down next to each other in their class a few minutes later, Freddie saw Sam pull out a folder he had never seen before. He glanced at the cover. Notes from Anti-Edward it said.

Freddie smirked. "What's that?" he asked, pointing at the folder.

"N-nothing."

Freddie grabbed it from her. "You bought a special folder to keep the notes in?"

"Give. It. Back."

"I can't believe you're saving these."

Sam hit him upside the head with a textbook.

"Sam! OW!"

She snatched the folder back.

"Sam! Freddie!" Ms. Briggs yelled. "Both of you. Detention. After school."

"Thanks a lot, Fredjerk," Sam mumbled.

Freddie was kinda mad he had gotten detention, yet he kind of felt like he was floating on a cloud. Sam was saving his notes. At that moment, that was the most important thing to him.

Chapter Six: Dr. Jack Hodgins

"What's with the goofy smile?" Sam asked Freddie as they left class. He had that smile on his face all during class.

"Um..." He didn't know what to tell her. He couldn't tell her that the fact she was saving his notes made him stupid happy. "Nothing."

She smiled at him. "You must be happy about spending your afternoon in detention with Mama."

He rolled his eyes, but felt himself blush slightly. It was kind of true. Then the realization hit him. It was so sudden, he felt like he might fall over. He liked Sam.

"Are you OK?" Sam asked. He had turned somewhat pale.

"Um. Yeah. I'm fine."

"Hey, guys," Carly said to them when they reached the lockers.

Sam grabbed some books and waited for Carly so they could go to class.

"Carly? Can I talk to you?" Freddie asked before his friend could leave. He needed to talk to someone about what he just realized. He looked over at Sam and added, "Alone."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Whatever. See you in class, Carls." As she walked off, she couldn't help but wonder what was so important that she couldn't be there.

"What's up?" Carly asked when Sam disappeared down the hall.

"I've been thinking about some things," Freddie said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't sure how to tell Carly.

"Like what?"

"Like my feelings about a person."

Carly perked up. "What person?"

"Um... uh... well... Sam."

Carly squealed happily. Freddie was not expecting that reaction. "You like Sam!" she said.

"Possibly."

Carly snorted. "Possibly my ass."

"Excuse me?" Carly rarely swore.

"Just say it, Freddie."

"Say what?"

"Say it!"

"OK! I like Sam. And I think I like her a lot."

"Yay!" Carly jumped up and down. She was so happy Freddie finally admitted his feelings. Now, Sam just had to do the same. Then all would be right in the world.

"You seem really happy," Freddie said.

"Well duh. You guys obviously like each other. You're both just too difficult to admit it. Until now that is. I hope Sam admits it soon."

"Huh? Wait. You think Sam feels the same?"

"I know she does. Anyway, when'd you finally admit it to yourself?"

Freddie found it hard to believe that Sam could possibly feel the same. "I guess when this whole list thing began," he answered.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think I'm jealous of all these fictional guys. Just because Sam likes them."

"You jealous of Anti-Edward too?"

"Uh. Sure." The bell rang. "We're late. See ya."

While she watched him walk away, she couldn't stop herself from thinking, is Freddie Anti-Edward?

Freddie sat down in Computer Science. Telling Carly that he liked Sam lifted some weight off his shoulders. But the weight wouldn't be completely gone until he told Sam his feelings, and revealed he was Anti-Edward. He couldn't do that until he finished the list, though.

Number 5: Dr. Jack Hodgins from Bones

I know, Carly, you don't really like Bones, which I don't get at all. It's such a great show. And it totally sucks you in.

Now. Here's why he's better than Edward. You see, all us fans know how much in love Hodgins is with Angela. Even though they're not together anymore, yet he still has those feelings. But he and Angela won't get back together. Yet. He clearly respects Angela's wishes for them to not get back together. As I believe I have stated before, Edward doesn't give a chiz about Bella's wishes.

When Angela thought she was preggers with Wendell's baby, Hodgins was ready to be there for her and help take care of the baby. Now, I feel if Bella got pregnant with someone else's baby-shut up, Carly, I know it would never happen, this is just a "what if" type thing-he would kill her. And the dude too.

Here's another reason I heart Hodgins. He's the bug and slime man of the team. He LOVES it when he can go out and do field work, and roll around in dirt

and stuff. Plus, he's always involved in the fun little experiments that are sometimes done. Hodgins will always be King of the Lab to me.

If you watched Bones, I feel you'd love Hodgins. Or Booth like Freddie's mom does. Oh great. Now you wanna know how I know that. Um. You know how I leave your place on most Thursdays but come back right in time for Supernatural? Well, that's because I watch new episodes of Bones over at the Benson home. You see, one day while you were out, I was watching some Bones reruns when Frednub came over. He freaked out because I was watching it. He told me how much he loves it, and that he and his mom always watch it. So, since I hate watching my favorite shows alone, I showed up at Freddie's place one night for a new episode of Bones. His mom freaked out at first, but shut up when the show started and realized I wouldn't be annoying. We even had fun discussing who the killer could be, and the sexual tension between Brennan and Booth. When the show ended, she invited me back for the next week's episode because I "wasn't a complete devilish maniac." So now we've been doing that for about a year.

OK. That's it.

Freddie remembered that night. He was really worried when Sam walked in, but relaxed when she and his mom started talking about the show. Now his mom made sure they had enough ham every Thursday night. As soon as Sam would leave though, life would go back to normal. Sam and his mom would go back to hating each other again. Thursday nights were good nights for Freddie.

Sam grabbed the note from Anti-Edward off her locker and walked straight to the cafeteria. She didn't bother to wait for her friends.

"Wait," Carly said to Freddie when he began to follow.

"What?"

"You gotta sit next to Sam today."

"Huh?" Why was Carly trying to screw up their seating arrangement? Carly and Sam always sat on one side, and Freddie across from them. On the other half of their lunch table, sat Gibby, Wendy, and some of their other friends. Carly was trying to throw off their whole system.

"So you can start laying some ground work."

"For what?"

Carly sighed. Freddie was so oblivious. "For you and Sam's future relationship. You sitting next to her, will help her realize you like her."

Freddie shook his head. "You're crazy." He walked off to the cafeteria.

Somehow, Carly beat him there. She immediately sat across from Sam. Freddie had no choice but to sit next to Sam. If he sat next to Carly, Sam would think he still loved Carly.

"What the chiz is going on?" Sam asked.

"Carly forced me to sit next to you," Freddie told her.

"Why?"

"No clue," he lied.

"It all feels very unnatural."

"Just give me number five," Carly said flatly. Sam gave it to her, and she quietly read it to herself. After she finished, she looked at her two friends and gasped. "You guys have a Thursday night tradition?"

"You told her?" Freddie asked Sam. He felt that his acting was getting much better.

"Oh get over it, Fredmint."

"I can't believe it," Carly said. She didn't understand why they never told her. Still, she was happy they spent time together.

"What? We're not allowed to hang out without you around?" Sam asked. She felt it was stupid if Carly was upset about it.

"Well. No. You are allowed to. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"Because you'd blow it out of proportion."

"No I wouldn't!"

Freddie and Sam shared a look. Freddie spoke, "You would, Carly. You tend to do that."

Carly let out a small growl. "what did Anti-Edward say?"

Sam laughed, then read.

Sam,

I love Bones! But I've kind of always liked Booth better. Maybe because I wish I was him a little. OK. Not a little. A lot. He kicks some serious ass. Did he make the list? I haven't finished reading it yet. If

not, he should've. Actually, all the guys from Bones are better than Edward.

Plus, all of them are nerds-excluding Booth of course. So I can relate to them, being a nerd myself. And we all know how awesome nerds are.

Oh. By the way, I could totally be King of the Lab.

Anti-Edward

Sam was cracking up. "He sounds like you, Frednub. You guys could be biffles."

"Oh haha," Freddie said.

Carly realized Sam was right. Anti-Edward was starting to sound more and more like Freddie. She decided she needed to question Freddie about it. If he turned out to be Anti-Edward and Sam found out, he'd be a dead man.

Chapter Seven: Riley Poole

On Thursday morning while she walked into school, Carly decided to do everything in her power to find out if Freddie was Anti-Edward. She had been thinking about it all night. She compared everything she knew about Anti-Edward and Freddie. They seemed to have a lot in common. She saw Sam at her locker.

"Can I take a quick look at the notes from Anti-Edward?" she asked Sam.

Sam blushed. "It's not like I have them with me."

"Yes you do. Freddie told me you carry them around in some folder."

Sam growled. "I'm gonna kill that nub when I see him." She handed Carly the folder. Just then, Freddie joined them.

Freddie saw the look of anger in Sam's eyes. Fear rose up from his gut. He hoped she hadn't found out he was Anti-Edward.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked Sam.

"You told Carly I've been saving my notes from Anti-Edward."

Freddie hadn't realized it was some deep, dark secret. Well, at that moment he did. So he turned and ran.

Sam darted after him.

Carly laughed at them as she opened the folder. Soon she found some of evidence she needed. Anti-Edward talked about slapping a girl after she slapped him. carly remembered that moment between Sam and Freddie. She had found it amazing that Sam didn't punch him after he slapped her.

Also, Anti-Edward had said his friend forced him to read Deathnote. Carly remembered when Sam threatened to break Freddie's wrist if he didn't read it.

That was enough proof for her. Freddie HAD to be Anti-Edward. She would confront Freddie about it soon.

Freddie was lucky he only got away with some bruises. He didn't even want to imagine what she'd do if she discovered he was Anti-Edward. He decided not to dwell on it, and read the next guy on the list.

Number 4: Riley Poole from National Treasure

You know he's a cutie Carly. Especially when his glasses are on. And, yeah, he's a nerd, but he's actually a pretty badass nerd. His semi-badassness is what makes him better than Edward. He assisted in stealing the Declaration of Independence and found a friggin treasure. Hell, most of it wouldn't have been able to happen without Riley's techno-geek skills.

I'm pretty sure Edward never stole anything that would help him find a treasure that held all this history and then shared it with the world. Though Riley didn't want to, but still.

Also, Riley's funny. He was, like, the best part of the movies because of his funny. Edward had never done one funny thing in his annoying existence. Edward's always Mr. Serious. I mean, does the dude EVER have any fun? The only other thing he is besides serious is emo. And not the cool emo. The douchey "I think I'm better than you" emo. You know, the kind of emo kid you wanna punch, not the kind you wanna be friends with.

So screw Edward and his seriously douchey emoness. Go Riley and his semi-badass nerdiness!

Freddie found himself getting angry. She always made fun of HIS nerdiness, and would say no girl could ever want him. Now Riley's her number four! And she likes him because of his nerdiness. What was wrong with Freddie? He and Riley shared some similar qualities. Yet somehow Riley was good enough for Sam, but not him?

He wrote his reply while he was still steaming.

When they all gathered around Sam's locker, Carly watched Freddie carefully.

Sam handed Carly number four. Sam glanced at Freddie as Carly read.

"Why do you look so upset?" she asked him.

"No reason," he mumbled.

"Riley from National Treasure?" Carly said to Sam. Carly thought that the fact that the guys on Sam's list were getting nerdier was a good sign for Freddie.

"So?" Sam looked at Freddie again, waiting for a response. She was slightly disappointed that she didn't get one.

"Read what Anti-Edward said," Carly urged.

Sam,

You're right. Riley is way better than Edward. But I need to get something off my chest first.

Why are the guys on your list getting nerdier? Last I heard, you mock nerds endlessly. Especially that guy Freddie Benson. I mean, your cruelty is endless toward people like Freddie. But these guys are good enough for you? Why? What's so special about them? What makes them better than guys like Freddie Benson? Oh. I get it. You must be too good for real guys. I guess fictional guys are the only ones who take the cake for you.

Oh shit. I just sounded like an asshole. You must hate me now. I probably deserve it. I mean, I insulted you. If you knew who I was, you'd rip my head off for saying all that.

Ugh. Well. I'll just say that people who are serious all the time are lame and boring. I prefer to hang out with people who aren't afraid to be goofballs.

You know, you're a fun chick. You didn't deserve the attack I just threw at you earlier.

Oh. And I hate kids who have Edward's brand of emo.

Sorry for being a douche,

Anti-Edward

"Well," Carly said, "I think that proved he's into you."

"He sounded a little bipolar," Sam said, but she was a little upset. Why was Anti-Edward so mad? And... "Why'd he mention Fredpuss?"

Carly noticed that Freddie's eyes widened. "Yeah. Do you know him, Freddie?"

Freddie felt like he was going to puke. It never really occurred to him while he was writing it that mentioning his own name would cause his two friends to be suspicious.

"Um. It could be possible," he said.

Carly just looked at him. She had no doubt that he was Anti-Edward.

The bell rang. Freddie turned to Sam and said, "Come on. We're late for class."

When they walked in, Ms. Briggs made sure to stop everything she was doing to yell at them. Sam told her to shut up, and they sat down in their seats.

Sam was even more distracted in class than usual. She was a little distressed about making Anti-Edward upset. She needed to make things right with her little pen pal. She opened her notebook and began to write furiously.

"What are you doing?" Freddie whispered to her.

"None of your business, Fudgeface." When she finished writing, she stood up and said, "Gotta use the toilet," to Briggs as she walked out the door. She walked straight to her locker and taped a piece of paper to it. She hoped no one would be an ass and rip it off before Anti-Edward could get it.

Chapter Eight: Artemis Fowl

Freddie REALLY wanted to know what Sam had written in their English class, but she refused to tell him. And he bugged her about it nonstop. Eventually she smacked him, and told him to shut up. He poured for the remainder of class.

Now he sat in Computer Science telling himself he wouldn't get jealous or angry about the next guy on the list. Sam seemed a little distraught by his last response. He was not allowed to be such an ass this time around.

Number 3: Artemis Fowl from, well, the Artemis Fowl book series

Ok. First of all, Carly, he's Irish. Irish accents are the greatest and sexiest accents EVER. Edward doesn't have an awesome accent. Actually, I think one of the reasons Artemis is so high on the list is because of his wonderful Irishness...

Anywho, Artemis hangs with some pretty awesome creatures. Edward has never hung out with elves and centaurs and whatnot.

Oh. And Artemis freakin' traveled through time. That's so kick ass. I wanna be able to travel through time.

Whoa. I just realized Artemis is the second genius on the list. Oh snap. AND he's the second dude who used to be bad, but is now good. I guess I'm into smart dudes who used to be bad-like Zuko-or used to be criminals-like Artemis.

And don't you mock me for having a younger guy on this list. You will regret it if you do.

Freddie never knew that Sam had a favorite accent. He found himself wishing he was Irish as he wrote his reply.

Carly had pretended to have cramps and said she was going to the nurse's office. She was really hiding in the hallway with Sam's locker in her sights. She was going to catch Anti-Edward.

She had freaked out a bit when she saw something taped to Sam's locker. She thought she had missed him. once she looked at it though, she saw it wasn't from Anti-Edward. It was a note to him from Sam.

She heard footsteps. She smiled when she saw Freddie walk up to Sam's locker. She loved being right.

Freddie was surprised to see a note on Sam's locker. He looked at it and gasped when he saw it was a note to Anti-Edward. From Sam.

"So that's what she was writing in class," he said to himself, then read the note.

Hey Anti-Edward,

It's kind of weird writing to you. I'm used to just reading notes, not writing them. But I felt that I needed to write to you to clear some things up.

First of all, I'd like to apologize for upsetting you. Though I found your anger irrational. But since you're just a stupid boy, I'll let it go. Just like I did when you assumed I wasn't a virgin. So you best feel lucky, kid. I rarely apologize and let things go.

OK. Finally, I guess your mentioning of Freddie means that you're friends with him. Well, I don't, like, hate Freddie or anything. So I feel I should tell you that I bust Fredward's balls simply because it's fun. All the fighting and making fun of each other is me and Freddie's thing. Our bickering is practically the core of our friendship. That's just how we are with each other.

I actually think Freddie is a pretty great guy. He's nice to everyone, even me. On occasion. And he puts up with all my crap. Those who I abuse on a regular basis don't do that. They run away from me. Freddie just stands there and takes it. Sometimes he even fights back, which is something I really respect. And I know it's hard to believe, but I actually have fun with the guy. Hell, sometimes I have more fun with him than I do with Carly.

Freddie's just awesome all around. But don't EVER tell him I said that. He'll start acting all smug around me if he finds out.

Oh. And Freddie sometimes pays for food for me. I don't even have to ask him anymore, he just does it.

Well, I hope that clears everything up, and that you're not mad at me anymore.

Sam

Freddie could feel the ridiculously wide smile on his face. Sam had called him awesome. She had never said anything like that before.

He quickly broke into Sam's locker to get a pen, then added something to his response of her list.

Once he taped the note to Sam's locker, a voice yelled, "I knew it!"

Freddie turned. "Carly?"

"I knew you were Anti-Edward. That's why you're only jealous of the guys on the list, and not Anti-Edward. Because you ARE Anti-Edward." She walked up to him and slapped him upside the head. "Are you stupid? If Sam finds out, she'll kill you."

"I don't plan on having her find out. And don't you dare tell her. I can't have you meddling in this."

"I would never!"

"Yes, you would. You always do. You can't not throw yourself into people's business, Carly. Just leave it alone."

Carly wanted to defend herself, but she knew he was right. She just had problems keeping herself out of other people's business. Especially her best friends'.

"Can I meddle in something else if not the Anti-Edward thing?"

Freddie sighed. "What?"

"Just let me try to get you and Sam together. Or get her to admit her feelings for you."

"She doesn't have feelings for me."

"Oh please. I can tell she does. I read that note she wrote. Her feelings for you were practically poured out."

"You're crazy," he said, but hoped Carly was right.

"Just let me do that one thing."

"Fine."

"So. Why did you decide to do this?"

"Well, I found the list, and thought it would be fun to torture Sam. Then I just started to like doing it. The fact that she cares about what Anti-Edward has to say makes me happy."

"Aw."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "I'm going back to class."

Carly watched him walk away. She was going to get Sam and Freddie together. Even if it drove her insane.

Freddie was sitting next to Sam at lunch again. Sam found the whole thing weird. Especially since Freddie had that goofy grin on his face again. But she didn't really mind him being next to her. Even though it was still a little weird, she figured she would get used to him being next to her quickly.

"Tell us what Anti-Edward said," Carly demanded.

Sam hadn't been as eager to read because she was afraid Anti-Edward was still mad.

"OK," Sam said, "here we go."

Hey Sam,

I haven't read the Artemis Fowl series, but I think I will now. We do like a lot of the same things after all.

Anyway, Artemis sounds pretty cool. I'd enjoy knowing what it's like to travel through time. And elves are so much cooler than vampires.

So. That's all I have for now.

And sorry again for being a douche earlier.

Anti-Edward

P.S.

Wow. Your little note did clear things up. Thanks for letting my idiocy go again. That's sweet of you.

I think you should tell Freddie what you told me. He'd appreciate it.

Sam read the last two sentences slowly. Now Freddie knew she said nice things about him.

Freddie smirked at her and asked, "What'd you say about me?"

Sam blushed. "Um. I might've said you're a nice and awesome guy," she mumbled. She glanced over at Freddie as her heart pounded. She saw that his smile had frown wider.

"Aw. Thanks, Sam," he said. "You're pretty awesome too."

She squinted at him. "Not awesome AND nice?"

Freddie snorted. "You're not nice."

"Yes I am, nub!" She flung a spoonful of applesauce in his face.

"What the hell, Sam?" He retaliated with some jello.

Carly joined Gibby and Wendy at the other side of the table. She didn't want to get caught in any crossfire.

Their little food fight went on for about five minutes. It stopped when Mr. Howard came up to them and gave them a detention.

At the end of the day, Carly asked, "So, you two watching Bones tonight?"

"Duh," Sam said.

"And, no, you can't join us," Freddie told her.

"Why?" Carly whined. Part of her did want to join them, but she wanted to see why it was so important they were alone while watching the show. Well, alone with Freddie's mom.

"Well, it's kinda just me and Sam's thing."

"And you'd be really annoying," Sam added.

"What?"

"You'd constantly ask questions, and comment on every little thing."

"But I do that when we watch Supernatural."

"Yeah, but I tune you out. I've become a master at it. Freddie and his haven't. Actually, Mrs. Benson would kill you."

"Why?"

Freddie said, "My mom doesn't like people talking while her shows are on."

"Oh." That information only kind of gave her more perspective on their little Thursday night tradition.

Sam nudged Freddie. "Come on, Frednerd, let's get to detention." As they walked off, Sam said, "I can't believe this is the second time you landed me in detention."

"You started it both times!" Freddie yelled.

Carly laughed at them as they did their special flirting routine. She was wishing her friends would get together soon. Very, very soon.

Chapter Nine: Roarke

"Sweet, sweet Friday!" Sam yelled as they walked into school.

"Hopefully we won't get detention again today," Freddie said.

"I don't know why you keep blaming me, Freddie," Sam said with fake innocence.

"Maybe because you're the one who smacked him with a textbook and then flung applesauce at him," Carly told her.

Sam smiled at her friend. "I did no such thing."

Carly laughed and Freddie rolled his eyes.

The bell rang. Sam walked off to Study Hall. Carly held Freddie back.

"You're gonna be finished the list today," she said to him.

"Yeah. So?"

"You told Sam you'd give it back once you finish it."

"I'm very aware of this."

"Well, how are you gonna give it back?"

Freddie shrugged. "Put it in her locker or something."

Carly smacked her forehead in frustration. "Freddie, you're the only one who knows how to break into her locker."

That was true. Freddie has helped her make it almost impossible for people to break into her locker. They had tried many things and failed. They once enlisted Spencer to help. That resulted in Sam's locker setting on fire. Eventually, the set up a series of really sharp pins that would pop out and stab anyone who tried to get into her locker. Also, according to Sam, even if the person kept going after they got stabbed, their DNA would be on the pins that stabbed them. Then they'd be able to capture the culprit with forensics somehow.

"Good point," Freddie eventually said.

"Um. I have an idea."

"What?"

"You could tell her how you feel about her, then give her the list back after. She may be less hard on you if you do that."

"Or she'll kill me either way."

"Nah."

"Carly, I'll figure out a way." He walked away.

Carly knew he wouldn't figure something out. She texted Wendy and Gibby so they could put a plan into place.

Sam was in a good mood. And not just because it was Friday. She had been having a pretty good week. She had bonded with Anti-Edward, which was something she didn't would happen when she first got a note from him. Then

there was Freddie. They had had detention together twice that week. And they actually had a lot of fun. They wrote threatening notes to each other, and would giggle while reading them. Obviously, they were constantly yelled at. That just led to more giggling. It was some good times. She wondered how long it would last. She liked the fun times with Freddie more than the bonding with Anti-Edward.

She decided to just enjoy it all while it lasted.

in between classes, Sam had been a little excited about the next note from Anti-Edward. That made Freddie really happy. He loved being on Sam's mind, even if it was his alter-ego.

He opened the notebook while in Study Hall, and read number two.

Number 2: Roarke from the In Death series

Mmmm. Yet another Irish man makes the list. Roarke is such a sexy beast. I am SO jealous of Eve-the main character of the series-for being his wife and getting to do the nasty with him.

So, you think Edward is all madly in love with Bella? Well, Roarke is much more in love with Eve. He still keeps the little button that fell off the ugly suit she was wearing they day they met in his pocket. All the time. Every day. It's so sweet. Also, he never gave up on getting Eve. She didn't want to get involved with him at first, so he basically bribed her by giving her real coffee-the series takes place in the future and they only have, like, soy coffee crap-to win her affections. Finally, Roarke gave up pretty much all of his criminal ways because of Eve-she's a cop. What has Edward given up for Bella? Nothing. That jackass.

Roarke is also uber rich. His home is like a freakin' palace. Right in the middle of New York City. The grounds there are HUGE. There's an epic garden where he and Eve got married. Hell, their friends Louise and Charles married each other there too. The house is surrounded by a wall. How epic is that? Oh. The house also has a shit ton of rooms. Eve believes she probably hasn't seen even half of them. There's even an indoor pool. Well, it's like a huge pool room with the pool, a hot tub, and a lot of space to hang out in. Eve's friends have had fun little parties there where they basically have a spa day. The house Edward lives in is definitely not as cool as Roarke's.

OK. Let's talk about the one illegal thing he still does. He has this whole computer system that isn't registered. That way he can do all this stuff without the man finding out about. He can get files that Eve can't even get as a cop. That's so hot.

You really need to read the In Death series, Carly. It makes you laugh, cry, feel the suspense when they're about to catch a killer, and turns you on. Roarke and Eve have some awesome sex scenes.

Wow, Freddie thought, Sam REALLY liked Irish guys. He decided that he needed to go to Ireland one day to see what was so special about them.

"I wonder what Anti-Edward will say about guy number two," Sam said to Carly as they walked to their lockers.

"Who is it?"

"You'll see." They reached their lockers, and Sam handed Carly number two.

"Hey, ladies," Freddie said as he leaned against Sam's locker.

"How goes it, Fredlumps."

"God, you really like Irish guys," Carly said to Sam when she finished reading.

"Well, they are crazy hot," Sam told her.

"When you come over tomorrow, bring the first book of the series over."

"You wanna read the steamy sex scenes, don't you?"

"Maybe."

Sam laughed. It was funny whenever Carly admitted to her perviness.

"Enough about sex," Freddie said. "Just read Anti-Edward's note."

Sam squinted at him and said, "Fine, Mr. Bossy Pants."

Sam,

What is it with you an Irish guys? They don't seem all that special to me. They're just guys from another country with a different accent. I don't find any accents on girls really sexy. It's just, well, the girl that's sexy. Who cares about an accent? Girls are so weird.

I noticed that the guys on your list keep getting nerdier. Well, according to you, they're hot nerds, but still nerds. I never thought of you to be the type of girl who'd be into nerds. Not that I have any problems with that. All girls should be into nerds. We are the greatest after all. You should spread the word. We'd all be interested in getting a girlfriend.

So yeah. That's all I got to say. Can't wait to read number one.

Anti-Edward

"Seriously, Freddork, you need to meet this guy."

Freddie chuckled. "I guess so."

"He seemed kind of jealous," Carly pointed out while giving Freddie a look.

Sam shrugged. "It's flattering, I guess." The bell rang. "Let's go to class, Fredicin."

"Actually, I have to talk to him real quick," Carly said. "Alone."

"OK..." Sam headed to class. She was really miffed that Carly and Freddie kept having super private conversations without her.

"What is it?" Freddie asked.

"You're telling Sam how you feel about her. Tonight."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me. You'll be doing it at six o'clock."

"On iCarly?"

"No. You and Sam will join the show after you tell her. I have a plan for the show while you guys are talking."

"What plan?"

"You'll find out." She began to walk away, but stopped and turned to face him. "If you don't meet with her, I'll kill you," she said then finally left.

By the look in her eyes, Freddie knew she wasn't joking.

Chapter Ten: Freddie Benson

Carly and Sam took their seats next to each other in History.

"Hmmm," Carly said.

"What?" Sam asked. Carly had been acting weird.

"I was just wondering what Freddie will think of your number one."

Sam paled, and her eyes almost popped out of her head. She had finally remembered why she was so freaked out when she lost the list. All of her

anxieties cam flooding back.

"Why would Freddie care about number one?" she asked Carly frantically. "Did you hear something?"

"Um. No. It's just that he seems a little jealous of the guys on the list."

Sam stopped panicking for the moment. "Huh? Why would Freddie be jealous?"

"Because I'm very sure that he likes you."

"You've lost your mind, Carls."

"I can't believe you haven't noticed." She also couldn't believe that Sam hadn't noticed all the Freddie hints in the Anti-Edward notes. Especially since she read

them ALL the time.

"I repeat: You've lost your mind. Now, if you don't mind, I have bigger things to worry about."

Carly watched Sam try to calm her breathing.

"Listen," Sam said after a few minutes, "Freddie can't be around when you read Number One and Anti-Edward's note."

Carly nodded. "OK." She couldn't wait for Number One now.

Freddie sat in Computer Science. He knew part of what he was going to say as Anti-Edward in the next note. But he had to read Number One in order to write

the rest.

He stopped breathing when he read who it was.

Number 1: Freddie Benson

OK, Carly, stop freaking out. I know, I know. This is insane. Freddie? Number one? How did this happen? And what the hell does this mean? I will answer all of this. Hopefully.

Now, I know this was supposed to be a list of fictional guys, but none of them were number one worthy in my mind. The whole time I was making this list, one stupid nub's face kept popping into my head. I thought I was going crazy at first. Then I realized something. I like Fredward Benson. Apparently for a long time. I know this because I reflected on it. I think I've had a thing for the dork

for years. YEARS! How could I have been into him for years and not realize it? I'm such an idiot.

Let's see. Should I talk about how he's better than Edward? I guess I should. So, he's been in love with you since the day he met you, yet he doesn't stop you from dating all these other dudes. Edward would beat the chiz out of any dudes Bella would have actually dated-the guys who just liked her don't count. I mean, if she for real dated other guys. And Freddie would never be a controlling ass hat. He'd just go with the flow. He's just that kind of guy. Plus, he'd totally adore any girl he'd date. But not in a creepy stalker way like Edward. He wouldn't break into a chick's house just to watch her sleep all night long. He'd only do that if they were in the same room while she's asleep.

Unlike Edward, he can have fun. He doesn't always take life seriously. He knows how to make jokes and laugh. I mean, you should see us in class sometimes. We act like a pair of loons. We piss Briggs off like crazy.

Oh. And Freddie fully has better lips than Edward. I assume he kisses better than Mr. Sparkles too. The boy IS a pretty good kisser after all. You must know better than me, Carly. You practically made out with him every five seconds for the two minutes you were dating. You skank-stop looking offended, I'm just kidding.

So yeah. Freddie's my number one guy better than Edward Cullen. He should be number one on EVERY girl's list. Of course, I'd beat them down for trying to get with him. The only person besides me who'd ever be allowed to be with him is you. I'm that good of a friend.

Oh god. I'm crazy about a nerd who's in love with my best friend. Awesome.

Freddie jumped up and screamed, "YES!"

Ginny-of all people-gave him a weird look and said, "Sit down. You look like an idiot."

Freddie did as he was told while smiling.

After he wrote his reply and taped it to Sam's locker, he realized he shouldn't be near the girls during lunch. Sam would be too uncomfortable with him around. He'd give her a break, He's have plenty of time to revel in her liking him when he told her his feelings at six o'clock.

Carly waited impatiently by her and Sam's lockers.

"Pst! Carls," she heard Sam whisper.

She turned and saw Sam's head poking around the corner. "What?"

"Is Freddie around?"

"Um. Nope." She had been wondering where he was.

Sam sighed. "Thank god." She walked up to her locker, and gave Carly number one.

Carly screamed happily then wrapped Sam up in a tight hug. "You FINALLY admitted it! I'm SO FREAKIN' HAPPY!" She let Sam go, then did a dance of joy.

Sam just looked at her with a look of annoyance. "Read the rest."

Carly nodded with a goofy grin on her face. After reading for a bit, she gasped. Sam assumed that Carly had gotten to where Sam called her a skank. Carly laughed after she read that Sam was kidding. She frowned a little after finishing.

"Freddie's not in love with me anymore," she told Sam.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Like that'd ever happen."

"You need to tell him how you feel." She was filled with joy. Her two best friends had admitted to liking each other. Now, all they had to do was get together.

"You wanna hear what Anti-Edward said or not?"

"OK. But he'll tell you the same thing."

Sam,

Wow. Wow. Just wow. I never expected to hear you say that. Well, see that you wrote that. I never thought you felt that way about Freddie. But now that I think about it, with the way you treat him, it kinda makes sense. Holy chiz. You've been flirting with him all these years, haven't you? Wow.

OK. Listen. Freddie doesn't love Carly anymore. Trust me. You NEED to tell him how you feel. I sense you won't be disappointed. Hmmm. You probably won't do that...

You know what? You want the list back? You have to tell Freddie how you feel. Tonight at six o'clock. You'll meet him at the swing set in the park near Bushwell Plaza. The swing set you licked.

I'll know if you don't meet with him tonight, or don't tell him. If you don't do either, I'll make copies of the list and post them ALL OVER THE SCHOOL.

Have fun meeting Freddie tonight.

Anti-Edward

"Did he just blackmail me?" Sam asked in shock. She didn't think he was the kind of guy who'd do that.

"I believe he did," Carly said. Freddie WOULD do that.

"I'd miss iCarly."

"Only some of it. Don't worry. I'll handle it without you."

"OK... um. I'm gonna have lunch in the library."

"What?"

"I just need some time to calm down. I won't be able to with Freddie around."

"Where in the library?"

"Periodicals."

"Why there?"

"No one goes into that section."

"I'm sure people do."

"Have you?"

"No..."

"Exactly. See ya." Sam walked off to the library.

As Carly watched Sam go, she wondered where Freddie was. "Maybe he's already in the cafeteria," she said to herself. She shrugged, then went on her way.

Freddie had taken some extra time to work on some things in Computer Science after the bell rang. Once ten minutes passed, he gathered his things and went to prepare for lunch. His phone vibrated. It was a text from Carly.

CARLY: Where r u?

FREDDIE: I'm having lunch in the library. I figured Sam would feel weird with me around. You know, because of me being number one and all.

CARLY: I kno! I'm so happy 4 u 2!

FREDDIE: Thanks. I hope all goes well tonight.

CARLY: It will! Hey. Where in the library r u eating?

FREDDIE: Periodicals.

CARLY: Why?

FREDDIE: No one goes in that section.

CARLY: How do u kno? People could go there.

FREDDIE: Have you ever been there?

CARLY: No...

FREDDIE: Exactly.

Carly smiled to herself. Sam and Freddie had the same idea, and seemed to be the only two people in the school to know about the periodicals section-she didn't even know of its existence until Sam told her about it. They were truly meant to be.

"So why are we gonna be on iCarly tonight?" Wendy asked when Carly sat down.

"You're going to be part of a panel."

"What kind of panel?" Gibby wanted to know.

"One dedicated to Sam and Freddie's love."

Gibby and Wendy smiled brightly.

"They're together?" Wendy asked.

"Not yet. But hopefully tonight."

"It's about freakin' time!" Ginny yelled.

Carly felt all warm inside. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one waiting for those two to get together.

Freddie entered the periodicals section, and saw his favorite blonde-headed demon. She was sitting on the couch, eating her food, and listening to her PearPod. He decided that it was fate that had them both there at that moment. He was not going to flee, which was something he'd usually do.

He took a notebook out of his bag, ripped out a piece of paper, balled it up, and threw it at her.

She growled and looked up. For a quick second, her eyes widened and she paled.

"What do you want, Fredly?" she asked.

"I just decided to eat lunch here today." He sat down at the table and took out his food.

"Did Carly tell you I was here?" She was afraid Carly had told him he was number one. It was SO the type of thing Carly would do.

"Nope. Um. How'd you know about the periodicals section?"

"I just stumbled upon it one day. This is where I go when I skip class. I usually nap on this couch. It's crazy comfy."

"You would. You know, I come here when I skip class too."

"Oh my god. Fredward Benson skipping class? It must be the apocalypse."

"Very funny, Puckett. You're not the only one who doesn't like certain classes."

"Howard's class?"

"Yup."

Sam got up off the couch and walked over to the table. She looked at Freddie's pack of Fat Cakes, then looked at him.

Freddie sighed. "Yes. You can have them."

She grabbed them happily and sat across from him.

"So, you get a note from Anti-Edward?" Freddie asked.

Sam choked on the Fat Cake she was eating. Once she recovered, she said, "Yeah. Just the same old response."

"Who was number one?" He had to act clueless.

"You'll never know."

"Please tell me?"

She glared at him.

"Fine. Don't tell me."

"Oh get over it."

"Never."

"Nub."

"Demon."

Sam was relieved. Freddie didn't seem to know he was number one. Either that, or he was getting really good at acting.

After they finished eating, Sam whipped out a deck of cards.

"I am NOT playing poker with you again." Freddie had lost all the money on him the last time he played with her. Fifty bucks. Gone.

Sam pouted. "Fine. We'll play Slap Jack."

It was an extremely violent game of Slap Jack. Both their hands were definitely going to be bruised. Whenever Freddie won, Sam would punch him in the shoulder.

When they started swearing loudly at each other, the librarian came over and told them to be quiet. They burst into laughter when she left.

The bell rang.

"That was a pretty good lunch," Sam said to Freddie as they left the library.

"It was. Even though I was brutally beaten."

At the end of the day, Sam had to tell Freddie she'd be late fore iCarly. Carly forced her to do it.

"I'm gonna be late tonight," she told Freddie.

"It's cool. Me too."

"You too?" Did he know he was meeting HER? she wondered.

"Yup. I have an appointment."

"OK..."

"Carly said she has something planned to take up some time."

"Well, good. See ya then." She walked away. She was having severe anxiety about meeting Freddie later.

Freddie, on the other hand, was very excited.

Epilogue

Sam paced around the Shay apartment. She was ridiculously nervous. She had to tell Freddie her feelings in fifteen minutes. Stupid Anti-Edward for black-mailing her. Though she had to respect him for having the guts to do so.

"Sam, stop doing that. You're making ME nervous," Carly said. She was actually nervous enough without Sam's anxiety filling the room. She feared her two friends would chicken out, and not reveal their feelings.

Spencer walked into the living room holding a telescope. Sam looked at him with confusion.

"Go do what you were assigned," Carly said to him. Spencer and his telescope was all part of the love panel.

Spencer nodded then left the apartment.

Sam looked at Carly. "What the hell was that all about?"

"Nothing. You should be heading to the park now."

"Maybe I'll wait a bit longer..."

"No you won't." Carly grabbed Sam's arm and led her to the door. "You're going to go and meet Freddie now. I need to prepare for iCarly with Gibby and Wendy."

Sam sighed. "OK." She walked out the door, and went off to the park.

Freddie stood behind a tree several street away from the swing set. He didn't want to be the first one to show up.

Meanwhile, Sam was several feet away as well, but she was behind a bush that was on the other side of the swing set. She wasn't going to be the first chump to show up.

"In five... four... three... two..." Carly said, "Hi, I'm Carly, and this is iCarly." She was sitting at a table with Wendy on one side of her and Gibby on the other. Gibby's girlfriend, Tasha, was behind the camera.

"You may have noticed that Sam isn't here right now," Carly said. "Well, Freddie isn't either. Tasha is our camera girl tonight."

"I'm sure you're all wondering WHY they're not here," Gibby said.

"Right now, Sam and Freddie are meeting at a park down the block from my building," Carly told the audience. "Hopefully, they'll finally tell each other their feelings toward each other."

"We've all been waiting for this a very long time," Wendy said. "Everyone knows Sam and Freddie are in love, they're just too stubborn to tell each other."

"So while they're confessing their love to each other, we're dedicating this entire episode to Sam and Freddie's romance," Carly said. "Spencer is on the roof of our building spying on them with a telescope. We'll be checking in with him throughout the show. We'll also video chat with you, the fans, about your opinions on this."

Gibby asked, "How about we check in on Spencer?"

"Good idea, Gibby," Carly pushed the button on the remote, connecting them with Spencer. "What are they doing, Spence?" Carly asked when his image appeared on the TV.

"Sam is hiding behind a bush, and Freddie is hiding behind a tree," Spencer informed them. "They're both just staring at the swing set."

Carly slammed her head on the table. Her friends were the most difficult people on Earth.

Freddie was beginning to get distraught. It was five minutes past six. Sam hadn't shown up yet. Then he realized something. Sam wouldn't be the first to

show up. She was probably hiding somewhere too, waiting for him to show up. She wouldn't want to be the first to show up.

Freddie took a deep breath, and walked over to the swing set. He sat on a swing, and placed the list on his lap.

Sam watched him from behind the bush. She was relieved. She had begun to fear Freddie wouldn't show up. She took several breaths to calm herself then headed over to the swing set she once licked.

"Thank you, Charlotte," Carly said. "It's so refreshing to know that the fans support Sam and Freddie's love."

"We should give them a love name," Wendy suggested.

"Huh?"

"You know. A combination of both their names."

"Seddie!" Gibby yelled.

"That's perfect!" Wendy said with a squeal.

Carly thought that giving them a love name was weird, but just shrugged it off.

"Let's check in with Spencer," Carly said. She pushed the button. "What's happening in the park, Spencer?"

"Carly!" he screamed. "I was just about to text you. We have movement."

The three teens at the table screamed with joy.

"What's happening?" Gibby asked.

"Freddie is now sitting on a swing and-" He looked into the telescope. "And Sam is walking over to the swing set right now."

"I wish we could hear what they're saying to each other," Wendy said.

"Go Seddie!" Carly screamed. She had to admit it was a pretty catchy love name.

Sam sat on the swing next to Freddie.

"So. How goes it, Fredpuss?" she said.

Freddie turned to her and smiled. "Pretty good."

Sam looked at his lap and saw her list. It seemed like she had written it forever ago.

"Did Anti-Edward give you that?" she asked.

"Um. Kinda."

"What do you mean by kinda?" She was beginning to feel something was up.

"Well, you see. I'm Anti-Edward."

"WHAT?" Sam stood up and faced him.

Freddie gulped. It was not turning out how he expected. "I found it on the floor on Monday."

Sam ran her hands through her hair. "Oh my god. Oh my god. OH MY GOD!"

"I'm, um, surprised you didn't figure it out." The meeting was going downhill very fast.

"How could I have possibly figured it out?"

"I mentioned myself in two notes and talked about a friend in a couple. You were the friend. I mean, i talked about how I slapped you, and how you forced me to read Deathnote. Carly figured it out."

"CARLY KNEW?" Sam thought about the notes she had read over and over. She finally realized there were so many hints. How could she be so stupid? "Oh shit. You know you're number one."

"Um. Yeah." Freddie cleared his throat. "That's why I wanted to meet you. I, um, have something to tell you."

Sam decided she needed to get away, so she ran.

"Sam!" Freddie yelled, and went after her.

"She's running?" Carly asked. She couldn't believe what was happening.

"She can't run!" Gibby yelled.

"Yeah!" Wendy agreed. "They HAVE to get together!"

"Calm down," Spencer said. "Freddie's going after her."

"But he'll never catch her!" Carly was panicking severely.

"He will," Gibby said. "A guy like Freddie doesn't let the girl he loves get away."

"Aw, Gibby, you're so wise," Tasha cooed.

"SAM GET BACK HERE!" Freddie screamed as he chased after her. He couldn't believe she ran from him. But he should've expected it. And it was better than her beating the chiz out of him. He also knew that he could catch her.

Sam didn't like that Freddie was gaining on her. She didn't want to face him now that he knew her feelings. It was so embarrassing.

She saw a way to fully escape him. She climbed onto the play set. She knew he would lose her on there. She would eventually reach the big swirly slide-which was her favorite thing at the park-then rush to the park's exit.

When Freddie saw her get on the play set, he knew what she would do. Sam couldn't resist the big swirly slide. It was her favorite after all. He ran around the play set, and waited for her at the bottom of the slide.

"Sam's running onto the play set," Spencer told the Seddie panel.

Gibby asked, "What's Freddie doing?"

"Waiting at the bottom of a slide."

"The big swirly slide?" Carly asked.

"Yeah."

Carly smiled. "Sam can't go on the play set and not go down the big swirly slide," Carly told her viewers.

"Aw," Wendy said, "Freddie knows her so well."

Sam reached the big swirly slide. Freddie was nowhere in sight, which she thanked god for. She slid down and screamed when she saw Freddie standing

at the bottom with a smirk on his face. Before she could turn around to climb back up the slide, Freddie pinned her down.

"Let me go!" she yelled.

"No," he replied calmly. "I won't let you go until you hear what I have to say."

"I know what you'll say. You'll tell me you're in love with Carly and have no interest in me."

Freddie really couldn't believe her sometimes. "Didn't Anti-Edwrd tell you that you wouldn't be disappointed by this meeting?"

"Yes..."

"You said you realized you like me while you were making the list, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I realized that I like you while reading the list. And I'm pretty sure I've liked you for a long time. I can't believe I didn't realize it before. I mean, you have no idea how jealous I got of these fictional guys."

Sam feared she was having an auditory hallucination. Did Freddie just say that? "What?"

"I like you too, Sam." He then placed a gentle, sweet, and quick kiss on her lips. It may have only lasted about a second, but they both could feel the sparks fly like crazy. Freddie could feel Sam's heart beat faster, and she felt his do the same.

Freddie looked at Sam. She saw the question in his eyes. He wanted to know if she was going to hurt him for kissing her. She answered him by lifted her head up and pressing her lips against his.

This time, the kiss was much more passionate. The longer they kissed, the more intense it became. Sam, of course, was the first to get the tongue involved. Freddie had no problem going along with that.

"THEY'RE KISSING!" Spencer yelled.

Carly, Wendy, and Gibby all jumped up and cheered.

"It's about friggin' time!" Carly said.

"I feel uncomfortable watching this," Spencer told them.

"EXCUSE ME! Could you two go somewhere else and do that? There are children here," a woman said to the pair.

They pulled apart from each other. Freddie stood up, and Sam went up into a sitting position on the slide.

"Mind your own business, lady," Sam said.

Freddie gave her a look then said, "I'm sorry ma'am," to the woman. "Let's go, Sam." He held out a hand, which she grabbed, and helped her up.

They left the park.

"How long were we kissing?" Freddie asked. He also noted to himself that Sam was still holding his hand.

"No clue. I lost track of time."

"Um. So what should we do from here?" He didn't know if it all meant that they would now be a couple.

"You should probably ask me out on a date, Fredcheese."

"Fredcheese?"

"Dude, just ask me out."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Fine. Sam Puckett, would you like to go out with me?"

"Where?"

"A movie?"

"A horror movie?"

"Sure."

"Will you be paying?"

"Duh."

"Sure, Fredward, I would very much like to go on a date with you. How does tomorrow night sound?"

"Perfect."

They reached Bushwell Plaza. Before they went in, Sam pushed Freddie against a wall and kissed him again for several minutes.

When she pulled away, Freddie said, "I could get used to that."

Freddie got out of her seat and ran over to the laptop.

"What are you doing?" Tasha asked.

"Going to the camera we have set up in the lobby for Messing with Lewbert so we can still watch them," Carly told her.

"Fredward Benson!" A voice called when they entered the building.

"Mom?"

"You and this demon are together now?"

Sam groaned. Why did the woman always get into Freddie's business? And how did she already know about them?

"Yes, mom get used to it."

"And you made out with her on a slide?"

"How'd you know about that?" Sam asked.

"And she'll physically abuse you."

"No more than usual," Freddie told his mom.

"What if you two break up? It'll be terrible. I won't accept this."

"Mom, shut up. Sam and I are together. I guess. I mean, I guess it'll be official when we go on our first date tomorrow. Anyway, just deal with it."

Sam did not like that her question went unanswered. "Yo!"

The mother and son looked at her.

"Mrs. Benson, how did you know about us making out on the slide? Did you, like, follow us or something?"

"No. I was watching iCarly and-"

Sam and Freddie didn't wait for her to finish. They both flew up the stairs.

They both stumbled into the iCarly studio, completely out of breath.

"You... guys... have... been... spying... on... us?" Sam asked while gulping for air.

"Yes..." Carly said.

"Why the hell... would you... do that?" Freddie wanted to know.

"We wanted to know how your meeting was going since we're doing a Seddie special."

"What's Seddie?"

"You and Sam's love name."

"OK..." Freddie couldn't help but think how weird that was. Why'd they come up with a love name?

"Did you see us talk to Freddie's mom?" Sam asked.

"Maybe..." Carly turned to the camera. "Well, that's it for iCarly." She wanted to end the show before Sam got violent.

"Wait!" Wendy yelled.

"What?"

"Are Sam and Freddie a couple now?" Gibby asked.

Tasha turned to Sam and Freddie.

"I think so," Freddie said. He looked over at Sam for reassurance.

"Well duh," Sam said.

Everyone clapped.

"You guys are so weird," Sam told them.

"Before we go, let's see a kiss!" Carly suggested.

Their friends looked at them expectantly.

Sam rolled her eyes and said, "Mama rather get some ham." She walked out of the room.

Freddie shrugged and followed her. He joined her in the kitchen, and watched her eat ham.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You look so beautiful when you eat ham," he told her.

Sam laughed and almost choked on some ham. "You're such a nub. Are you gonna say crap like that all the time now?"

He smiled at her. "You bet." He walked up to her and kissed her. "What do you think of our love name?"

"It's lame. NEVER refer to us as that."

"Oh, I won't. I hate it too."

They kissed again.

"I could get used to that," Sam said, and popped another piece of ham into her mouth. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I'm happy that I lost the list on Monday, and that you had found it, and that you decided to create Anti-Edward."

"So am I. You know I jumped up and screamed 'yes' when I read I was number one?"

"Loser."

"None of this would've happened without that list."

"I know. We should thank Edward Cullen for being such a douche. He's the one who started all this."

"Oh the irony," Freddie said with a grin and kissed Sam again. "Thanks Edward Cullen."

THE END