salvator mundi book four

8/13/2019 Salvator Mundi Book Four

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BOOK FOUR : COMPUTER GAME

(Jan 7th Jan 19th 1998)

Unlocking heart is start At first is weep then sleep Laughter coming after

You never be apart once you unlocking heart.

It first time I draw song on wall. He looking odd. I think maybe I notunderstand him when I see him again. Then I putting down drawingstone andpick up bedfur and firepot and walk out of cave through seventh door. It doorof Aan !aster. I think so."

Jan 7th

The cock crows down the lane. First light. Ive no idea what Ivewritten. My head is bouncing, my eyeballs encased in hot lead. Imcold. I need a good nights sleep. Thessaly is coming to tea at ive.! pmThe "#$ is out% I reel up the hill in a rapture, thrilled and wicked,chasseying my wellies in the mud. The sun slants brilliantly throughthe hedgerows, birds chi&ike me and the over&wintering cattle haveturned into shag&pile monsters. I do not recognise my riends o thesummer in their winter outits lying like soas on the hillside. Theireyes are sot though as they raise their heads to watch me coming.'o they think were going home or milking( )hewing their winter

hay, still dreaming the trance o the aternoon, they wait till I comeup then lumber painully to their eet, great ships launched on thevoyage home, mildly surprised that it has come so soon. Tran*uillythey wander across the meadow, hips swaying, udders swinging,while I loiter idly behind thrashing nettles with my stick as brilliantli*uid gold shoots hori+ontally across the hill, lining it like a urnace.Is this what little Mary aud saw seventy years ago( -loriousmountains assemble in the sky, shiting spreading seas and islandsgaudily manoeuvring, piling and dissolving beore my eyes. My soulthere is a country.

/nd then theres Moliere0 says Thessaly buttering toast.In what sense(01e didnt know who his daughters were.0Meaning(0I you meet a young actress in the tiring room,0 her eyes widen,eager to make a name or hersel, whose mother is an old riend,and youre under pressure, always overworked and in need orecreation, its only natural to sei+e any opportunity . . 0To proit rom the occasion(0 I suggest./nd i she doesnt know who her ather is . . . 0

/nd maybe her mother doesnt either . . 0/nd this daughter has a child . . 0


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/ girl perhaps(0There is even less chance the granddaughter would know who hergrandather was . . .0Thus alling prey in her turn . . 0I she is attractive and ambitious enough . . . 0

It could go on or generations0 I conclude.Three anyway. Four i you start early.0/re you making out a case or incest Thessaly(02nly that in a mobile turbulent society o strolling players youcouldnt always register births 3 you were too busy . . . 04eing always on the move . . . 0/nd you lost count. It was in the aristocracy that it mattered.0Though I believe the royal bastards did not always neglect theirhal&sisters. I wonder i it could happen today(0'o you think it doesnt(0 asks Thessaly.Thessaly and I are now chums. "he suggests we go to the Januarybook sales in 5allbeck tomorrow. This suits me as I have to go tothe 6olice station to meet my new boss. /nd I have my own agenda.

Jan thThessaly talks about books while I drive. "he is addicted to $ew /gepublications89ou do eel youre buying into "alvation dont you(02ne can certainly conuse shopping with :nlightenment thesedays.0 I am not ond o either.9ou see, I didnt read when "am was around. 1e read or me. 1e

was our hook. 5e hung o him, revolved around him, lived onlyaccording to his law. I see now I was a prisoner, never thought ormysel, never really read properly.0I ask how the prisoner escaped.I dont think she did. "he died when "am let. The me that heloved, the passionate pilgrim o his soul, was past her sell&by dateby then. It was very wearing all that. I havent got the temperamentor passion, its so limiting. 9ou cant learn it you know, you have tobe born with it. Im alright now. Free. 5ide open to the winds ospace.0/s I park the car in 5allbeck I take a look at her. "he is too.

)ould be a sign o madness I suppose.0 "he is making or thebookshop. 4ut maybe reedom I" mad to the imprisoned(0 /nd shedives into a pile o remaindered volumes hell bent on "alvation. /nd3 oh -od 3 shes ound my athers book. I try to escape, but 3ook Mary% 1ave you read this( The )urve o 4eing0 by John"later( Its supposed to be great%09es0 I say stonily. 1e was my ather.0;:/9(0 1ere we go. 1ow marvellous% 5hat is it about(0Its about the e


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varying.0 9ou know, the more it grows tiddley&pom, the more itkeeps on growing0 sort o thing.0-ood ord%0 this is =ust up Thessalys street8 Fancy having a atherlike that% 1as he written a lot o books(0$o, he died when I was ten. My parents were killed in a car crash.0

I 2/T1: talking about mysel.$o%0 "he takes this personally8 Thats awul% Im "2 sorry Mary. "oyoure an orphan(09es0 I admit helplessly, I suppose I am.0/ny brothers and sisters(0$o, theres only me0 I say atuously. #nless you count a hal&brother Ive never met. My mother was married beore you see. "helet a child o seven to run o with my ather. 1er husband wouldntlet her see the boy again.0 It is sounding increasingly like a T> soap."ounds like /nna ?arenina00 says Thessaly."o I never met him0 I sni. 1es called )hristopher I think.0 $ot aname I care or."o who looked ater you Mary( 5hen your parents died(0My /unt 4essie. The one whose uneral Ive =ust missed.0/t this point Im relieved to discover Im late or my appointmentand I escape, arranging to meet Thessaly later to take her back.

I spend some time going through 6olice iles, then leave or the)ounty ibrary where I search the back numbers o the local papers.I en=oy this painstaking and laborious work@ it is what I am trainedor. I am a methodical person and I like to do things in an organi+ed

way. 5hen Ive inished I put in a good hal hour with the libraryphotocopier beore driving Thessaly home.Then there was )ains wie0 she says cryptically.5ho she(05e are not told. The 4ible simply says /nd )ain knew his wie,and she conceived and bare :noch.004ut I thought there was only one woman around at the time.01is mother. :


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slightly chipped, with nothing *uite matching ater all these years.1is hand trembled as he poured, but I waded straight in85hat happened ater auds baptism Foster( 5here did he go(01e cut me a piece o seed&cake. "am sent him to a ;esidential"chool or /utistic )hildren in /merica0 he said evenly.

The ire lickered sotly on the cottage walls and it was very *uiet.'id "am not go too(0 I asked. 'id he not wish to be with his son(0It was not thought advisable at the time. The school had rules youknow. 6arents were not encouraged.0'id "am tell you that(02h it was in the brochures0 said Foster vaguely. 9oull probablyind one somewhere at the arm i you look.0 1is hand shook wildlyas he gave me my cup, but I smiled at him and drank my tea.Foster,0 I said gently, 'id you believe all this(01e looked at me in surprise. 5hy not( "am had no reason to lie.0'idnt he(05hat are you trying to say Mary(02nly that there were rumours in the village. /nd the 6olice have aile on The )reature in the Forest0. 9ou must have heard about it.02h rumours%0 said Foster dismissively. Theres a headless nun inthe belry i you want to listen to rumours.0I got up to go. I you ever change your mind and want to talk aboutit, you know where I am.01e was shaking badly as he led me to the gate.5atch out where youre digging Mary. :very amily has a skeletonburied in this churchyard.0

/nd yours more than most, I thought.

/t Fosters age you accept things. 1e couldnt *uestion "ams story.Marys legacy o pain and mystery still gripped his heart withine


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)alling at "eelyspring Farm the 6olice interviewed Mr -oodchild whotold them he had heard the rumours but knew nothing about thematter. /sked the whereabouts o his own child Mr -oodchildshowed them the prospectus o an /merican "chool or 5ithdrawn

and /utistic )hildren, to which he had regretully sent his mentally&handicapped son in the hopes they could do something or him.0-oodchilds standing in the community was so high 3 he was a)hurchwarden who regularly read the lesson on "undays, a 6arish)ouncillor, and )hairman o "ellywick )ommunity /ssociation 3 thatthe 6olice soon let the matter drop.

Jan CDthIt is time to see "am again@ only he knows what happened ne


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At the sae tie I was sho!!ing in #allbeck on Saturday orningsand leaving a rucksack&full of !rovisions in the well to re!lace thee!ty sack hanging there. I find it hard to believe yself now, butafter a while I couldn't reeber why I was doing this. I knew it wasa very i!ortant act of service to soeone, but I'd forgotten who or

why. It was as if I was !rograed to !erfor this charitableundertaking for life, and I did it week in week out for eleven yearswithout a break. (o holidays or tri!s abroad. I think I assued that Iwas an altruistic !erson who had the good of others at heart. )learlyI was a odel citi*en and an e"a!le to all. +orrifying though it is,!lease believe e when I say this kind of !ersonality s!lit is orecoon than you think, and criinal !sychologists confir it.So I went to )hurch and becae the icar's right&hand an,reading the lessons as )hurchwarden and sitting on the -arish)ouncil. I ferried old ladies round the village and collected their!ensions, visited the sick in hos!ital, and raised funds for the)ounity Association. I becae a benevolent institution gooddeeds accuulated round e like a cloud and I was uch loved andres!ected. $ut oh/ how I danced on the hill after a -arish )ouncilMeeting, and it was a struggle to kee! away fro the )hurch +allon $ingo (ights when the oon was full and I was wearing yfeathered hat and y !enis sheath and y war !aint.

+ow I esca!ed arrest I'll never know. It was touch&and&go so often.$ut it is aa*ing what a few good suits and an e"!ensive haircut

will do. I was -ublic )iti*en (o 1. It wasn't deliberate, I hardly knewit was ha!!ening. It was a fine balancing act between the taboo andthe e"e!lary. I've seen it in other !eo!le since. It can ha!!en touch&loved celebrities or religious leaders when their !ublic!ersonality takes over. It !roduces an inner credibility ga!, and the!riitive !syche tries to restore the balance. %he left hand doesn'tknow what the right hand is doing. I call it %he (aughty icarSyndroe.

#hen the -olice cae I got a dreadful shock. I didn't ean to lie tothe. $y then I really I believe I'd sent Laud to Aerica, that's

what I'd told oster after all, and looking after the creature in theforest was 2ust another e"!ression of y charitable dis!osition. I'donly ke!t it to yself through odesty and discretion. $ut afterthey had gone I got the shakes. %he foundations of the weirdstructure I had built started to 3uake and I realised the -olice ightcoe back. I would have to get away soon.

%he !art of y ind that had been !rovisioning Laud all these yearsknew that he ust now be eighteen and officially of age. (o longery res!onsibility. $elieve it or not Mary, I was not assailed by guilt

or reorse at the tie. %hose feelings were locked away. %hey are


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only beginning to eerge now, in a way that is hard to handle. Itrages in e, the craving for self&utilation and for !unishent.

Although I hadn't seen Laud during that tie, it was as if I'd beenconditioned to eet all his needs, so that without thinking I had

been !roviding clothes and shoes and bedding suitable for his age.%he last garent was in adult si*e4 a grey !arka with a yellow stri!eI'd found in an M5S sale. I had no idea if it fitted hi. I'd su!!liedhi with toilet things and bowls and buckets & I'd taught hi towash his clothes during our ca!ing e"!editions & and I'd left hi awashing&line with clothes and !egs. And a ra*or and a irror whenhe was fifteen or so. In y strange way I'd thought of everything.$ut I hadn't thought of scissors for cutting his hair.

I was angry when the -olice left. I felt I'd been used. I'd given u!eighteen years of y life and now I was deterined to get away. SoI !honed u! soe acadeic contacts in Aerica and found therewas a !ost going in a -ennsylvania )ollege where soeone haddro!!ed dead of a heart&attack. %hey knew y work and had ybooks in the de!artent and were glad to get e at short notice. Itwas ideal. I told the hos!ital I had to leave suddenly, and anagedto get the a re!laceent. %hen I left Laud sufficient oney and anote to say I was going away, and that he was now on his own,being legally of age. I had often left hi instructions as well as otherreading atter, so I was confident that he would understand. If Ithought of hi at all, it was as a doestic anial who could read.

EI switch o at this point. I can no longer think o "am. I only see aneighteen&year&old boy, dumped and discarded, whose ragile liecreeps helpless towards mine, inviting his ine


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touch with reality or ten years. /nd that it was now too late. Thedamage had been done.0I stared. 5hat are you trying to tell me "am(02nly that with hindsight my behaviour had not been that o a saneperson0 he said e


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looking a bit wet. 5hatever the reason they eel sae with me andtalk, as long as I stay put and listen. 4ut underneath Im a cold ishand I switch o. To protect my nervous system.5ith "am it was dierent. There was no alibi with "am, you had tobe there. That is how I know what happened that night. For he cried

helplessly like a baby. 1e howled racking, gut&wrenching sobs romthe depths o his being. 1is bed was a mess and his pillowsaturated. "ister ewis hovered nearby but let me stay@ the)onsultant must have asked her to keep watch. $ear dawn "am ellat last into an e


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/nyway it changed me too. /ter three years the dark tide o angerand sel&hatred was cleansed. It was a three&year orgy. They say anorgy puriies you dont they( Thats why the -reeks did it. Thepoison drained away leaving me neutral and unmotivated.0 The light*uietens in "ams eyes as he says gently, seriously8

"o I was ready to go when the time came, when aud needed me.0

Jan CthI am ready to go too. "am has told his story and seems recovered. Iam relieved at this as a little o "am goes a long way 3 he is like aha+ardous concentrate to which you need to add a lot o water. /lsomy role as wedding&guest is now over and Im beginning to eel alittle unsae. $ot only on account o his magnetic blue eyes, but Imalso aware o some dis*uieting churnings about my chum Thessaly./m I part o her plan( "ams warning 4e careul, you are beingused0 tolls sadly in my heart. "o I send o my Final ;eport0 toFowldes and go or a last walk.

The orest is drenched with winter@ dark and soggy and sweet withtangy odours, it has drained the lie&blood o the year. The path tothe cave slithers with rotting leaves and, deep in thought, I lose myooting twice8 I am still thinking o the giant boulder over the caveentrance. I dont remember seeing it in the vicinity on my irst visit."omething that si+e I surely would have noticed. 1ow on earth couldit have got there( /nd the delicious pervasive perume, the odouro sanctity0 that emanated rom it . . . . .

92#T1 ':5%2 course% It was Flora% Thessalys words come back to me then,e


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seducer, a world where $ature is committed to unnatural laws andpersists in producing prodigies and enlightened beings, healers andmaniacs, and doesnt seem to know the dierence. Is this the $ew/ge or the /rabian $ights(ater This is hopeless. Im sitting on my bed in the attic surrounded

by my things, trying to pack. 4ut Im in the grip o some terminalinertia, ga+ing mindlessly at the rabbits, *uite incapable oorganising my departure. I remember "ams words The eyes arepossessed . . . as i they belong to someone else,0 and glancecasually in the mirror as I pass. 5ho is this person( 5hose eyes arethese( /t once I eel tired again and have to lie down. I havent thestrength to ight it.

I am woken by Thessaly who tells me "am has discharged himselrom hospital. "he looks tired too. It seems Flora has brought )hristyback rom 9orkshire or a hospital check&up and they are allcrammed together into 2ld "chool )ottage with Foster. /nd "am.4ut you can come here0 I say. 5hen Im gone.09oure not going away Mary(0 Thessaly is shocked.5ell yes. "am seems better. Theres nothing else or me to do. Im=ust waiting or conirmation rom ondon.04ut you cant go Mary%05hy not(0 I am calm. 4ecause it might thwart your plans(05hat do you mean(0)hristy told me I was the third Mary. 1e said The 6lan could not goahead without me.0

"o you think I have designs on you Mary( To make you the ne


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"he blinks and then looks at me wide&eyed81e went to /merica didnt he( Thats what "am says.04ut what do 92# say(0I was in 9orkshire Mary0 she responds coolly, I didnt see him untillast autumn in the cave.0 "he snaps the head o a hydrangea.

92# 'I'$T ":: 1IM F2; F2#;T::$ 9:/;"(0Thessaly sighs8 I dont have to =ustiy my conduct to you Mary. Ihad my reasons.0 "he drits o to etch the wheelbarrow."#)1 /"(0 I shout ater her."he turns. It was so that The 6lan could go orward0 she says.

;eader, I strangled her. My ingers le


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. . 9ou remember you talked about the primitive persona "am, asa recipe or psychic wholeness . . 09es(0 . . That it may be accessible to those whose usual barriers havebroken down, who have no normal deences . . . (

It can work that way, yes.0)ould a primitive personality be adopted by anyone up here whodbeen through a traumatic upheaval or emotional shock(05ell, I suppose it could . . 04y Thessaly or e


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Im getting reports o sightings in your area. )ould you check themout or me(0/n immense lassitude overcomes me. My voice is aint8Ill do my best "ir.0Thank you. /nd "later 3

9es "ir(0 I am talking through a cloud.I may have to come up or a while mysel and stay at the arm. Idont really want to go to an hotel.04ut o course "ir0 I say aintly. This is 6olice 1A ater all.0My head is swimming. I cant ight this thing. I go back to bed.

Jan Cth"am is drinking tea in the kitchen. The )hildren o the 1ill0 liesopen at the last page and he is perusing it glumly.I nearly strangled Thessaly once0 he sighs. 'id she tell you(0$o, but Im not surprised. I nearly did too. I decided she was ounsound mind and that saved her.05hat brought that on(0 1e passes me a cup o tea.2h, her usual mantra8 It was so that The 6lan could go orward.00"am looked at me8 )hristy believes it too you know.0"omething in his voice alerts me and I protest8"urely you dont believe in The 6lan "am(01e sighs, e


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#p on the hill this morning the sun sliced through the mist andda++ling shats o light painted the ploughed ields below with hot,bright brown and purple countries, like a map o the world orortunate people. I dont, dont, dont want to leave this place.

/n une


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I go up the hill every day now. Its not a craving, it =ust eels good.4ut as I reach the sarsen stone this morning I ind "am there, andastonishingly he takes to his heels at the sight o me. I am hurt8"am%0 I call out, 5hy are you running away(01e unwillingly turns to greet me and shrugs8

I =ust dont think its a good idea to meet up here.02hh%0 I groan and slump down de=ected. This is all I need89ou surely dont believe all Thessalys stu about the hill "am(01e comes a step closer, then stops and shakes his head helplessly8There are more things in heaven and earth Mary . . 09ou mean The 6lan(01e doesnt answer and moves away again."am I asked you once what The 6lan was or, do you remember(0#m . . . 0 he is trying to go.'o sit down "am. 6lease. I wont bite.0/ter a moment he sits down warily a ew eet away rom me./nd you said ;edemption0.0'id I(0 1e sighs in resignation.'o you believe that(0I think that may be what its leading up to0 he says. 9es.0/nd would that make you happy, ;edemption(0Finally he looks searchingly at me as i looking into himsel. 1is eyesare very blue. 1e says simply 9es.0I am disconcerted. 5hy(01e sighs again. 1e doesnt want to talk about it. Then he says84ecause I would hope to be delivered rom mysel. To come to

terms with my true nature,0 still looking into my eyes. To acceptmysel or what I am. Maybe even to make amends.0My heart bleeds8 Is that so diicult(0For most people no. For me . . .0 he shakes his head.I eel tears coming8 I wish I could help you "am.09ou have helped me beyond all e


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yoursel remember( Take care, you are being used.00 Im laughingand crying hysterically now. 4ut how can I take care( 1ow can Ideend mysel against you( I love you "am.0These unealley o the "hadow. /nd ithas been too much or you. 9ou were not trained or this.0Indeed I was not "am0 I say primly. I said as much to Fowldes, myboss.0 I ind mysel sniing in umbrage. I complained bitterly.0/nd what did he say(05ell to do him =ustice he said i it was really too much or me Icould go back to ondon.0"o why didnt you(0I was involved I suppose. Id been working on this case or threeyears and I elt part o you all.04ut why( 9ou didnt know us.0I "/5 him "am%0 grie overtakes me again. I was there in the cavethat night% /nd it was all my ault%0 "uch a cataclysm overwhelmsme here that I howl in abandon. "am gives me his handkerchie.5hen the worst is over I sit up. My ace is a hot miserable mess andsmall snis escape rom me like pus o steam rom a kettle.I really do love you "am, you know that dont you(01e gives me little gentle shake8 9es, yes o course, and I love you

too. $ow lets go down to the arm and have a nice cup o tea.04ut I cannot move. My =aw is clamped shut and Im nailed to theground staring soddenly at my eet. I am physically possessed,galvanised by need. >olcanic ater&shocks rumble in my throat. "amshakes his head at me aectionately.'ear Mary. 9ou know Im not the man or you.05hy not(0 I growl angrily.Firstly Im thirty years older than you . . . . 0Thirty&one actually.0"econdly Im a married man.051/T(0 I shout enraged.

/nd my wie is still living . . 04ut you let Thessaly beore I was born%0"hes still my wie Mary.0 1e ingers his wedding&ring.4ut do you still love her(0Marriage is an archetype . . . 'ont spout =argon at me%0 I yell.It is a union. 5e have been united. /sk her. /sk Thessaly i she stilleels married.0"he says she has escaped rom prison.0Indeed she has. /nd so have I. 4ut that does not unmake what has

been made.0


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The pain I e


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/ lot o hocus&pocus I thought. 4ut as chance would have it The6sychological Journal0 was dumped on my desk along with the otherpapers that morning, so I leaed through it in my coee break anddiscovered the ollowing80

AUTISTIC YOUTH ACTS AS DISINHIBITORAn assistant relief porter at Joness Department Store was toda des!ri"ed as a!tin#

li$e a tr%t& dr%#' " &is (s!&iatri! So!ial )or$er* It seems &e releases a%t&enti!

"e&a+io%r, disin&i"itin# t&ose aro%nd &im*' T&o%#& &e is ne+er +iolent &imself, and

!annot in fa!t spea$, t&e o%n# man, $nown as B%n, appears to re+eal w&at is &idden

in ot&ers* In&i"ited " so!ial !on+entions and t&e need for self-dis!ipline and self-

!ontrol, t&e tr%e emotional needs of an indi+id%al ma not "e $nown to &im. so t&e

release of restraints ma prod%!e &a+o!, distress and sometimes %n!ontrolled

+iolen!e* T&is is espe!iall tr%e of t&e /n#lis&, as ma "e seen in t&e "e&a+io%r of o%r

foot"all s%pporters a"road* B%t t&e dis!&ar#e of a%t&enti! feelin#s is of !o%rse

&ealt&, and ma &a+e lon#-term "enefi!ial effe!t on t&e personalit* Indeed se+eral

instan!es of a!t%al "odil &ealin# " t&e "o B%n &a+e "een a%t&enti!ated*'

1ow weird is that%0 I say. 4#$ is a unny name or a diamond or aperson, and that both should be described as acting like a truthdrug0 deied probability or even common&sense. It must be morethan coincidence. "o that was how it started.In spite o my best eorts, I lost track o the diamond, which hadmysteriously disappeared. /nd I wasnt actively looking or reportso 4un, but i they turned up I put a copy in my bottom drawer andorgot about them. /ter a while I ound the drawer wouldnt shut

and I thought Id better sort it out. "o I downloaded it all on a disc.0Is there a record o him going to ootball matches(0 asks Foster.I havent ound any link with hooliganism or mob&violence.04ecause there the hostility is overt0 says "am. 4un operated at anunconscious level in my e


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/nyway you ound out what he was up to(0 pursues Flora.It was like getting glimpses o someone in a crowd0 I say. /nd Ihad to ill in a lot o gaps. 6robably wrongly. /ll I had to go on at irstwas a certain e


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It is t&o%#&t t&at a vagrant o%t& $nown as BUN, "elie+ed to &a+e learning

difficulties, ma &a+e !%red a &andi!apped !&ild* O%r !orrespondent &eard t&e stor

at St /%sta!es Hospital, w&ere tests were !ond%!ted and t&e 2 ras st%died* It seems

t&at 3 r old Naomi Soames, paralsed from "irt&, was sittin# in Or!&ard (ar$ in &er

w&eel-!&air wit& &er mot&er w&en a o%n# man sat down on t&e "en!& !lose " and

started loo$in# at &er'* T&is made Naomi la%#& for t&e first time in &er life,' said&er mot&er, /lsie Soames, 45, of Oa$ 6ro+e* B%t &e was o"+io%sl a "it mental, so I

s&o%ted at &im to #o awa* T&en Naomi #ot %p o%t of &er !&air and wal$ed* S&e &as

ne+er "een a"le to mo+e %nassisted in &er life* S&es "een wal$in# e+er sin!e*' T&e

o%n# man, des!ri"ed as wearin# a grey parka and wal$in# wit& a slight limp, &as

not "een seen sin!e*

"ilence greets this communication. 5e all look at each other.I bought that parka at a "ale in MK"0 says "am inally.Foster shrugs8 Its not much to go on.0I am deensive8 I e


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apart rom an artists impression circulated by /uthentic /ction onthe Internet. /nd this always looked rather like Jesus )hrist. /sFowldes says, long hair and a bit wet.09es0 says Flora, Ive seen that. It is rather limp.0/nd o course there was no recording o him on the radio because

he couldnt speak. That was the e


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5hat have I done( 5hat a smart girl Mary, to boast o catching asoul o unimaginable innocence, who hadnt the guile to know hewas being trapped% Too late now girl. 5hats done is done%0

5hen I get back "am is alone and a roaring ire is illuminating a

large bottle o whiskey and two glasses which cheerully leap in thelames. 1e leaves the room to return with steaming plates.4aked beans on toast and whiskey. That do or a winter night(02h "am%0 That sets me o and Im sobbing again.'ont you like beans( They were auds avourite.0Mine too.0 4ut I cannot eat. I stare at the plate unseeing.5hat is it Mary(0"uppose Foster is right and all this had nothing to do with 4un(0I so its a big coincidence that so much happened in his vicinity ina three year period.0 "am pours out the whiskey. /s a matter ointerest what happened to the people who crowded to see 4un( 'idit aect them in any way(0This strategy works, and I blow my nose and pull mysel together85ell now we are entering the realms o the surreal@ we are dealingwith what they call the 4un eect.0 5ord went round among theapostles o :nlightenment that e


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4ut how do you know all this(0It is the story o my lie Mary.0"o, how ar have you got( 2n the list(0It varies rom day to day. 4ut Id say somewhere between "tep "i


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Copyright E. J. Ward 2011. KERMAJAFRE 29!90 "#$MERC%& FRA'CE

salvator mundi book four

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