Inside the hallowed grounds of Sleepy Tech Meadows

lay the remains of our technology forefathers. May the

stones within these gates serve as a reminder of their

successes and inspire future generations as they

continue to explore new communication technologies.

With innovative features like “open” and “close,” the flip phone was superior to every other cell phone when it

came to matters of opening and closing. But as cool as these two features were, the smartphone has relegated

the flip phone to crime drama “burner” status.

The fax machine was the definition of “necessary evil.” Necessary because sometimes you need to send

sensitive documents; evil because of every single aspect of the fax machine. Fortunately for the entire world, digital signatures and email have rendered the

dreaded fax machine obsolete.*

Utilized by physicians and street pharmacists from the 60s through the 90s, the pager was the

first device that allowed you to reach someone no matter where they were, but just as they were gaining ground with the general population,

along came the rise of the affordable cell phone. The pager was demoted to the status of “thing that lets you know when your table is ready.”

Before the advent of the smartphone, and just slightly after paper came on the scene, there was the personal digital assistant. Combining the powers of a Rolodex, calendar, and notebook into a single device, it laid the

foundation for functions of smartphones to come.

When news needed to travel quickly in thepretelegraph era, you had two options—semaphore,

which is a system of guys waving flags at each other, and the homing pigeon, the most diseased

form of communication ever. So it’s no surprise that when the telegram arrived and offered instant long distance communication, and no bird touching, it became an instant hit. The world’s final telegraph

was sent in July 2013.

Let our forefathers rest in peace—experience the next major breakthrough in communication technology.

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*Okay, the fax machine may not be totally dead yet, but it’s close enough.