IIMyselfMyself, and , and asas Team Team

member member OFOF

Warning:Warning: Once you say you  Once you say you can't, you just never will. can't, you just never will.

I'm telling you, you can!I'm telling you, you can!

…because you have the power - the power to …because you have the power - the power to mold your personality into someone you always mold your personality into someone you always wanted to be, the power to shape your future wanted to be, the power to shape your future according to how you wanted to live, and the according to how you wanted to live, and the power to create your destiny as to how you power to create your destiny as to how you

wanted to make certain things happen.wanted to make certain things happen.Exciting, isn't it? Definitely!Exciting, isn't it? Definitely!

I bet you haven't thought how powerful I bet you haven't thought how powerful you can be. Yes, you are capable of you can be. Yes, you are capable of

attaining your heart's deepest desires - attaining your heart's deepest desires - by unleashing the hidden powers of by unleashing the hidden powers of

your mind!your mind!

PERSONALITY PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT   DEVELOPMENT  

PersonalityPersonality is the sum total of ways in which an  is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or individual reacts and interacts with others. Or Personality is generally defined as the deeply Personality is generally defined as the deeply ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one refers to personality, it generally implies to all what refers to personality, it generally implies to all what is unique about an individual, the characteristics is unique about an individual, the characteristics that makes one stand out in a crowd.that makes one stand out in a crowd.

Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.

Personality determinants Personality determinants :: Heredity :Heredity : Heredity refers to those factors that were  Heredity refers to those factors that were

determined at conception. Physical structure, facial determined at conception. Physical structure, facial attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological rhythms are characteristics that are generally rhythms are characteristics that are generally considered to be either completely or substantially considered to be either completely or substantially influenced by who your parents were, that is by their influenced by who your parents were, that is by their biological, physiological and inherent psychological biological, physiological and inherent psychological make up. make up.

Environment :Environment : The environmental factors that exert  The environmental factors that exert pressures on our personality formation are the pressures on our personality formation are the culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, the norms among our family, friends and social the norms among our family, friends and social groups, and other influences that we experience. groups, and other influences that we experience. The environment to which we are exposed plays a The environment to which we are exposed plays a substantial role in shaping our personalities. substantial role in shaping our personalities.

Personality determinants Personality determinants ::

Situation :Situation : A third factor, the situation,  A third factor, the situation, influences the effects of heredity and influences the effects of heredity and environment on personality. An individual’s environment on personality. An individual’s personality although generally stable and personality although generally stable and consistent, does change in different situations. consistent, does change in different situations. The varying demand of different situation calls The varying demand of different situation calls forth different aspects of one’s personality. We forth different aspects of one’s personality. We should not therefore look upon personality should not therefore look upon personality patterns in isolation.patterns in isolation.

DEVELOPING POSITIVE DEVELOPING POSITIVE PERSONALITYPERSONALITY

1. Subconscious Programming :1. Subconscious Programming :

Most of us sometimes get programmed Most of us sometimes get programmed / conditioned by a wrong messages / conditioned by a wrong messages that “ do not do that”, “don’t take the that “ do not do that”, “don’t take the risk”, “you can not do that” you are not risk”, “you can not do that” you are not good in …and so on…..good in …and so on…..You can imagine the bad effect such You can imagine the bad effect such message can have on any person.message can have on any person.

Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Programming  Programming 

Subconscious Programming Subconscious Programming ::

Our Conscious Mind is Our Conscious Mind is like a watch man. And like a watch man. And the Subconscious Mind the Subconscious Mind is a store of all the is a store of all the previously previously programmed or programmed or conditioned information conditioned information / knowledge/ believes. / knowledge/ believes. Now programming Now programming personality means personality means putting positive putting positive believes/ information believes/ information into the store with out into the store with out the knowledge of the the knowledge of the watchman (conscious watchman (conscious mind).mind).

Suppose you tell yourself Suppose you tell yourself that “you are good at Public that “you are good at Public Speaking”. And the store has Speaking”. And the store has stored based on peoples stored based on peoples comments and experience comments and experience that “you are poor in that “you are poor in communication” “you can not communication” “you can not speak well in public”, “you speak well in public”, “you don’t have an impressive don’t have an impressive body language” …..body language” …..

The watch man sees your The watch man sees your sentence and compares it sentence and compares it with the knowledge in its with the knowledge in its store and says “this store and says “this information is wrong”. The information is wrong”. The watchman throws the new watchman throws the new information away. He does information away. He does not allow the not allow the new positive information into new positive information into the store. This is the the store. This is the fundamental difficulty in fundamental difficulty in changing personality & changing personality & behavior of a person.behavior of a person.

Now the question is how and when we could Now the question is how and when we could programme our mind for positive personality programme our mind for positive personality trait with out the obstruction of watchman…trait with out the obstruction of watchman…

Subconscious Subconscious ProgrammingProgramming

The answer is we can programme our The answer is we can programme our mind for positive personality mind for positive personality traits during the Twilight period just traits during the Twilight period just before sleeping and just before waking before sleeping and just before waking up. This is the time when up. This is the time when the conscious mind is active enough to the conscious mind is active enough to generate the positive traits for generate the positive traits for entering into store but inactive to entering into store but inactive to judge/compare and will not obstruct to judge/compare and will not obstruct to the positive traits to enter into the the positive traits to enter into the subconscious store house.subconscious store house.

2. Reinforced Programming 2. Reinforced Programming / Conscious Programming :/ Conscious Programming :

Autosuggestion and RepetitionAutosuggestion and Repetition of the positive  of the positive traits despite negative response from comparison traits despite negative response from comparison with the store house also gives success in with the store house also gives success in programming for personality traits.programming for personality traits.

Auto-suggestion is a statement made in the Auto-suggestion is a statement made in the present tense, of the kind of person you want to present tense, of the kind of person you want to be. Auto-suggestion are like a commercial be. Auto-suggestion are like a commercial about about “Super You”“Super You”, or , or “Future Super You”“Future Super You” for  for yourself what you want to be or achieve. They yourself what you want to be or achieve. They influence both your conscious and subconscious influence both your conscious and subconscious mind in the long run shaping your personality and mind in the long run shaping your personality and attitude.attitude.

2. Reinforced Programming 2. Reinforced Programming / Conscious Programming :/ Conscious Programming :

Auto-suggestions are the conscious way to Auto-suggestions are the conscious way to program the subconscious mind for positive program the subconscious mind for positive traits. It is the effective method of voluntary traits. It is the effective method of voluntary development of positive traits and attitudes.development of positive traits and attitudes.

Auto-suggestion should be mixed with Auto-suggestion should be mixed with emotions. All such reinforced / conscious emotions. All such reinforced / conscious programming which have been programming which have been emotionalized (giving feeling) and mixed emotionalized (giving feeling) and mixed with applied faith, begin immediately to with applied faith, begin immediately to translate themselves into physical or real translate themselves into physical or real equivalent.equivalent.

Auto-suggestive thoughts which are mixed Auto-suggestive thoughts which are mixed with any of the feeling of emotions constitute with any of the feeling of emotions constitute

a “psycho-magnetic” force which attracts a “psycho-magnetic” force which attracts

other similar or related thoughts.other similar or related thoughts. Our subconscious mind resembling a fertile Our subconscious mind resembling a fertile

garden spot, in which weeds will grow in garden spot, in which weeds will grow in abundance if you the seeds of more desirable abundance if you the seeds of more desirable crops are not sown therein. Auto-suggestion is crops are not sown therein. Auto-suggestion is the agency of control through which an individual the agency of control through which an individual can voluntarily feed his subconscious mind on can voluntarily feed his subconscious mind on thoughts of creative/ positive nature or by neglect thoughts of creative/ positive nature or by neglect permit thoughts of a destructive nature to find permit thoughts of a destructive nature to find their way into the rich garden of mind. their way into the rich garden of mind. So So Caution should be taken while programming Caution should be taken while programming your mind for positive traits only.your mind for positive traits only.

3. Defensive Approach :3. Defensive Approach :

One of this type of approach is protest or deny One of this type of approach is protest or deny the negative traits at it’s very beginning of the the negative traits at it’s very beginning of the entering in the subconscious store. And the entering in the subconscious store. And the second is to consciously avoid this type of second is to consciously avoid this type of environment or situation. In real life situation it is environment or situation. In real life situation it is very difficult because it may lead to confrontation very difficult because it may lead to confrontation and argument or Inaction.and argument or Inaction.

Another problem in this is that most of us have Another problem in this is that most of us have some negative traits previously in our store house some negative traits previously in our store house due to our past experience and conditioning.due to our past experience and conditioning.

Imaginary Anchoring or Imaginary Anchoring or Invisible Counseling Invisible Counseling

Committee :Committee : While watching a picture we anchor the While watching a picture we anchor the

Hero, placing ourselves in place of hero. Hero, placing ourselves in place of hero. Similarly we can anchor Great men in Similarly we can anchor Great men in imagination and let them shape our imagination and let them shape our personality.personality.

Another is the Another is the Invisible Counseling Invisible Counseling CommitteeCommittee comprising of great  comprising of great personalities of your choice. We can counsel personalities of your choice. We can counsel from these great minds at times or from these great minds at times or situation. What decision or action he would situation. What decision or action he would have been taken in my situation..have been taken in my situation..

Winston Churchill the war time British Prime Winston Churchill the war time British Prime Minister was following this principle. He had his Minister was following this principle. He had his Imaginary Counseling Committee by the side of his Imaginary Counseling Committee by the side of his Chamber. Many great decisions he used to take by Chamber. Many great decisions he used to take by

following these principles.following these principles. I follow the habit of reshaping my Character by I follow the habit of reshaping my Character by

trying to imitate some great personalities whose trying to imitate some great personalities whose lives and life works have been most impressive to lives and life works have been most impressive to me. These personalities are Mahatma Gandhi, me. These personalities are Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon Bonaparte, Albert Einstein, Shiva Khera, Napoleon Bonaparte, Albert Einstein, Shiva Khera, Napoleon Hills & Bill Gates as my Hills & Bill Gates as my “Invisible Counselor”.“Invisible Counselor”.  

Imaginary Anchoring or Imaginary Anchoring or Invisible Counseling Invisible Counseling

Committee :Committee : Ex. Mother Teresa,Ex. Mother Teresa, I desire to acquire  I desire to acquire

from you the ability to provide relentless from you the ability to provide relentless humanitarian services to the most humanitarian services to the most unprivileged, poor diseased and intense unprivileged, poor diseased and intense spirit to serve the mankind despite all spirit to serve the mankind despite all odds. odds.

Now your turn, I desire to become _______Now your turn, I desire to become _______ because ___________________________because ___________________________

5. Physical Action / Body 5. Physical Action / Body Language Approach :Language Approach :

In general it is the positive practice or In general it is the positive practice or experiencing desired traits whether the experiencing desired traits whether the desired perfection achieved or not.desired perfection achieved or not.

It is generally said that our personality traits It is generally said that our personality traits control our body language. But it is a fact control our body language. But it is a fact that the reverse is also true. This means that the reverse is also true. This means we we can change our negative traits towards can change our negative traits towards positive traits by consciously practicing positive traits by consciously practicing the body language for positive traits.the body language for positive traits.

6. Domino-effect. Direct 6. Domino-effect. Direct exposure to good exposure to good personalities or personalities or environment :environment : Here the direct environment is the Here the direct environment is the

driving force in shaping the driving force in shaping the personalities. When one constantly personalities. When one constantly remains in direct contact with great remains in direct contact with great personalities will enriches his own to be personalities will enriches his own to be the one. Similarly the organization the one. Similarly the organization culture and structure also many times culture and structure also many times influences ones personality. Sometimes influences ones personality. Sometimes it is the guiding principle for job it is the guiding principle for job satisfaction / recruitment. satisfaction / recruitment.

TRAITS FOR BUILDING TRAITS FOR BUILDING POSITIVE PERSONALITY POSITIVE PERSONALITY

TRAITS FOR BUILDING TRAITS FOR BUILDING POSITIVE PERSONALITY : POSITIVE PERSONALITY : 

1. Accept Responsibility :1. Accept Responsibility :The price of grateness is the responsibility The price of grateness is the responsibility – Winston Churchill – Winston Churchill 

““Responsibility gravitates to the person Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.” who can shoulder them.” -- Elbert Hubbard-- Elbert Hubbard

Society is not destroyed by the activities of Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by the inactivity of good the rascals, but by the inactivity of good people.people.

2. Show consideration :2. Show consideration : Show consideration, courtesy, Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.politeness and caring.

3. Think Win-Win : 3. Think Win-Win : 

Win-Win philosophy is the ultimate Win-Win philosophy is the ultimate way to success in the collaborative way to success in the collaborative and networked world. One who and networked world. One who master that art can achieve greatly.master that art can achieve greatly.

4. Choose your words 4. Choose your words

carefully:carefully: The principle is your speaking must The principle is your speaking must

be better than silent, rather be silent.be better than silent, rather be silent.Words spoken out of bitterness can Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in the parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their many instances shapes their children’s destiny. children’s destiny.

5. Never Criticize, Complain 5. Never Criticize, Complain and Condemn: and Condemn: 

Constructive criticism is a Constructive criticism is a terminology used to conceal one's terminology used to conceal one's own cynicism. Afterall the limit of own cynicism. Afterall the limit of constructiveness of constructive constructiveness of constructive criticism vary from person to person. criticism vary from person to person. we sometime misjudge this limit and we sometime misjudge this limit and many times cross the limit which is many times cross the limit which is detrimental. detrimental.

6. Smile and Be Kind : 6. Smile and Be Kind :  Smile is the shortest distance between two Smile is the shortest distance between two people. people.

7. Put Positive interpretation on other 7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behavior: people’s behavior: 

We see the world not as it is, but as we are. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. So when we are interpreting other peoples So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively we just reflecting our own behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast when mentality to this situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or amend may realize its negativity and change or amend this.this.

8. Be a Good Listener :8. Be a Good Listener :

Effective communication is 50% Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% we listen carefully then 50% communication is done. communication is done.

9. Be Enthusiastic : 9. Be Enthusiastic :  Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm --- Ralph Waldo Emersion--- Ralph Waldo Emersion

10. Give honest and Sincere 10. Give honest and Sincere Appreciation : Appreciation : 

The desire to feel important is one of the greatest The desire to feel important is one of the greatest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the recipient. long run is harmful to the recipient.

11. When you make a mistake, 11. When you make a mistake, accept accept

it and make it easy to amend:  it and make it easy to amend:  Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it immediately and make change or amend immediately and make change or amend easy.easy.

12. Discuss but don’t argue: 12. Discuss but don’t argue: 

Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.more than the worth of victory.An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.

13. Don’t Gossip:13. Don’t Gossip: Gossip may lead to slander and defamation Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.

14. Turn your promises into 14. Turn your promises into commitment:commitment:

Commitment leads to enduring relationship Commitment leads to enduring relationship through thick and thin. It shows in a through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship. person's personality and relationship.

15. Be grateful but do not expect 15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude: gratitude: 

16. Be dependable and practice loyalty: 16. Be dependable and practice loyalty: 

An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness. Ability without dependability is of no cleverness. Ability without dependability is of no worth.worth.

17. Avoid bearing grudges: 17. Avoid bearing grudges: 

Life is too small to bear grudges. Life is too small to bear grudges. John Kennedy once said John Kennedy once said “forgive the other “forgive the other person but don’t forget their person but don’t forget their name.” name.” Means Means “if one cheated me once it is “if one cheated me once it is his fault, but if cheats me twice then it is his fault, but if cheats me twice then it is my fault.”my fault.”

18. Practice honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:18. Practice honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:

Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.than the opposite.

19. Practice Humility:19. Practice Humility:  Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.

Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.

20. Be understanding and Caring :20. Be understanding and Caring :

The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.the basis of real communication is also understanding.

21. Practice courtesy on daily basis : 21. Practice courtesy on daily basis : 

22. Develop a sense of humor:22. Develop a sense of humor:

Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person likeable and attractive. Some people are humor-impaired.likeable and attractive. Some people are humor-impaired.

23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down : 23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down : 

24. To have a friend be a Friend : 24. To have a friend be a Friend : 

Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stones of all Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stones of all friendship.friendship.

25. Show Empathy :25. Show Empathy :

Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “how would I feel if someone treated me that question, “how would I feel if someone treated me that way?”way?”

"Are You Ready to "Are You Ready to Conquer Your Fears and Conquer Your Fears and

Start Turning Your Start Turning Your Dreams into Reality?"Dreams into Reality?"

I Can. Therefore, I I Can. Therefore, I Will!Will!

I am Positive MEI am Positive ME