HOW TO

“GET AWAY WITH

MURDER”

HTTP://IMAGES.CATCHNEWS.COM/UPLOADS/IMAGES/2015/07/06/VYAPAM-MURDER-TOLL-LEAD.JPG

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

COMPILED BY JENI MAWTER

HUMANS ARE COMPLEX CREATURES

CAPABLE OF ACTS OF GREAT EMPATHY

http://www.spring.org.uk/images/empathy-1.jpg http://agilitrix.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Empathy-Four-Elements.jpg

BUT THEY ARE ALSO

CAPABLE OF ACTS OF GREAT CRUELTY

EVEN MURDER

Huma

http://www.christopherteh.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/race_exhibit1.jpg

WHY IS COVERT NARCISSISTIC

ABUSE SO DEADLY?

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OWHyRudb6RE/maxresdefault.jpg

PROLONGED COVERT ABUSE

CAN END WITH HOMICIDE

http://acdn.newshunt.com/fetchdata7/20160408/asianage/headines/images/800x480_IMAGE51820230.jpg

PROLONGED COVERT ABUSE

CAN END WITH SUICIDE

http://images.medicaldaily.com/sites/medicaldaily.com/files/styles/headline/public/2015/03/09/rural-isolation.jpg

PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC

ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR SPIRIT

https://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/03/30-beautiful-surreal-and-dark-art-pictures/

PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC

ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR MIND

http://pixelnase.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Brain-70830224

PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC

ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR SOUL

http://na.square-enix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/post-image/image_gallery/581/fc6fb5d69910ec49eeea3ce5cf897b29.jpg

ON THE SURFACE WE SHARE

THE SAME HUMAN CONDITION

OUR WELLNESS RELIES ON OUR

BODY, MIND, SPIRIT + EMOTIONS

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zG0q_aDDd48/UJBrG5LqN0I/AAAAAAAAAIs/RIf5pRA1H58/s1600/SpiritSoulBody-3(houseofmyrrh.com).png

FROM "WELLNESS," BY BRIAN LUKE SEAWARD, PH.D., P. 29 IN THE ILLUSTRATED

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF BODY-MIND DISCIPLINE, EDITED BY NANCY ALLISON

TAYLOR & FRANCIS, 1999

BODY: Physical well-being is defined as the optimal condition of each

of the body's physiological systems. These include pulmonary,

cardiovascular, nervous, immune, reproductive, urinary, endocrine,

musculoskeletal, and digestive.

MIND: Mental well-being is understood as the ability to gather,

process, recall and communicate information.

SPIRIT/SOUL: Spiritual well-being is defined as the maturation of

higher consciousness as developed through the dynamic integration

of three facets: relationships (internal, how you relate to yourself and a

higher power, however you conceive this to be; and external, how you

relate and interact with all people in your life), a personal value

system, and a meaningful purpose in life.

EMOTIONS: Emotional well-being is best defined as the ability to feel

and express the entire range of human emotions from anger to love,

and to control them, not be controlled by them.

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ATTACKS

BODY, MIND, SPIRIT AND SOUL

https://psychologicanarchist.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/dark-horror-art1.jpg?w=620

WHAT IS

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?

To begin with …

"Forget what you think you know

about narcissism.”

Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

MYTHS THAT DON’T APPLY TO

COVERT NARCISSISTS

You are Told: Narcissists are always brash, loud, assertive,

flashy and confident.

The problem is: Coverts are quiet, insecure and passive.

You are Told: Narcissists will never apologize for things

they do.

The problem is: Coverts can learn that a quick and TOTAL

apology is a really slick way of getting their target to "go

back to sleep" if it looks like they are waking up.

Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

MYTHS THAT DON’T APPLY TO

COVERT NARCISSISTS

You are told: Narcissists are ambitious, successful, go-

getters full of energy and pumped with charismatic charm.

The problem is: Coverts are marked by failed ambition,

chronic feelings of emptiness, fragility, low functioning and

when depleted can frequently sink into outright depression.

You are told: Narcissists can be detected because they will

always tell you how amazing they are and by bragging

about their achievements.

The problem is: Coverts are known for presenting

themselves as vulnerable victims who can even use that

vulnerability as a hook to bait you in!

Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

SO, WHAT IS

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?

Covert narcissism is a more discrete form of narcissism displayed by a person with a more shy and reserved personality. It is characterized by grandiose fantasies and thoughts, a perception of entitlement, and a general sentiment of being better than others. Covert narcissism is typically expressed in a more passive and indirect manner than overt narcissism; it is conveyed with a condescending attitude, insincerity, passive aggressiveness, defensiveness, and hostility.

http://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-covert-narcissism.html

IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE

THIS ALL SOUNDS PRETTY TAME!

To understand how lethal covert narcissistic abuse can be

we can use the “Boiling Frog” metaphor.Image from https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i648ygPzX3Y/maxresdefault.jpg

A METAPHOR: “THE BOILING FROG”

FROM THE STORY OF B, BY DANIEL QUINN

BANTAM PUBLISHING 1996

If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling

water, it will of course frantically try to

clamber out. But if you place it gently

in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat

on low, it will float there quite placidly.

As the water gradually heats up, the

frog will sink into a tranquil stupor,

exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and

before long, with a smile on its face, it

will unresistingly allow itself to be

boiled to death.

Image from http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-

xvlaDzP0keU/Vj4Bl2cnqpI/AAAAAAAAAHY/9m11Ne8Ob60/s1600/FrogBoiling.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS

PERNICIOUS ABUSE

It is outside the victim’s and other’s awareness

It occurs behind the scenes

It is unrecognized and unquestioned

It is insidious

When the victim protests they are met with wrath or rage

The victim wonders ‘Is it me?’ and ‘Am I crazy?’

When the victim realizes they are trapped and need to escape

they no longer have the resources to do so (identity, family and

friends, finances, self-esteem, mental/emotional exhaustion)

Prolonged abuse is subliminal, occurring over 10,20,30 years

Over this time the victim has been invalidated, devalued,

denigrated, dehumanized, alienated, intimidated, objectified

THE PERNICIOUS ABUSE GOES

UNRECOGNIZED AND UNQUESTIONED

http://orig12.deviantart.net/eaae/f/2010/215/0/c/__violent_love_by_nonnetta.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTS EMPLOY THESE

SUBTLE WEAPONS OF ABUSE

Disregard all valid requests

Sarcasm

Neglect

Emotional abandonment

Selective memory/amnesia

Tunnel vision

Denial of apologies

Denial of compliments

Denial of achievements

Set up ‘No Win’ situations

False accusations ‘Liar!’

Excuses ‘No Win’ http://www.liveluvcreate.com/index.php?site=image&id=502095

COVERT NARCISSISTS EMPLOY THESE

SUBTLE WEAPONS OF ABUSE (CON’T)

“NARC

SPEAK”

https://robertmgoldstein.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/how-to-spot-a-narcississts-word-salad.jpg?w=924

SO, HOW DO COVERT NARCISSISTS

GET AWAY WITH MURDER?

They implement identical Execution Tactics

Let’s look at these in more detail …

https://cdn.slidesharecdn.com/ss_thumbnails/strategyexecution-110625204548-phpapp01-thumbnail-3.jpg

THEY CHOOSE THEIR TARGETS CAREFULLY

Sensitive

Empathetic

Kind

Trusting

Likes to help others

Honest

Loving

Curious

Friendly

Aspiringhttps://assets.entrepreneur.com/content/16x9/822/1406578312-big-organizational-challenges-can-be-overcome-transparency.jpg

PREFERABLY PEOPLE SECURE

CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENTS

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ngJ1Iwi85FI/maxresdefault.jpg

THEY TEST TO ENSURE THE TARGET

IS KIND, CARING AND EMPATHETIC

http://www.idontstink.com/images/kindness_challenge_page.jpg

A GOOD SOB STORY WORKS WONDERS!

http://orig06.deviantart.net/e896/f/2011/220/c/8/sob_story_by_euphreana-d45vvt3.jpg

COVERTS MIRROR THEIR TARGET’S

NEEDS, DESIRES, VALUES AND FEARS

ALWAYSWEAR

AMASK

https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12115871_f520.jpg

CONVINCE THEM THEY ARE THEIR

SOUL MATE

https://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/lovebomb.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/

a0/41/7fa04193e690ffd43aa5d53346cc36a1.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTS PRETEND TO BE

THE NICEST, MOST CARING, KIND, GENEROUS,

TRUSTWORTHIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET

http://www.shanty-2-chic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Worlds-Greatest-Name-Tag-Labels.gif

ONCE THE VICTIM IS HOOKED

THE COVERTS TAKE THEIR TIME

ABUSE IS SUBLIMINAL

Months …

Years …

Decades work best!subliminal

səˈblɪmɪn(ə)l/

Adjective PSYCHOLOGY

adjective: subliminal

(of a stimulus or mental process) below the threshold of sensation or

consciousness; perceived by or affecting someone's mind without their

being aware of it

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS

USE “WHITE ANTING”

White anting refers to the action or process of bringing down (a person) from within: undermining, sabotage.

It is a pattern of behavior occurring over long periods of time.

Systematic

Diminishment

of Another

WHITE ANTING CAN BE LETHAL

https://erininjuba.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/ants-go-marching3.png

COVERT ABUSERS GRADUALLY EMPLOY

CONTROL AND MANIPULATION TACTICS

USUALLY “BEHIND THE SCENES”

Devalue, denigrate, dehumanize

http://www.cscaa.com/images_dvip/loveshouldnthurt.jpg

THEY SET UP “NO WIN” SITUATIONS

Impossible to please

Damned if you do/don’t

Blame shifting

Circular conversations

Projections

Selective amnesia

Silent treatment

Baiting

Narcissistic Rage

Switching topicshttps://clisanti.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/slaughter-house.jpg

USE ‘ALWAYS’ AND ‘NEVER’

STATEMENTS THAT ARE RARELY TRUE

“I never get affection.”

“I always give into you.”

“You never listen.”

“That’s right…

It’s always my fault.”

https://hopelesslyfunny.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/always-right-never-wrong.jpg

COVERTS ABUSE INTERMITTENTLY

THIS PATTERN IS REPEATED OVER TIME

Abuse for short burst.

Behave normally.

Repeat episode of mistreatment.

Behave normally.

Hoover if you have to. Pretend to care. Repeat.

Abuse for short burst.

Behave normally.

Repeat episode of mistreatment.

Behave normally.

Hoover if you have to. Pretend to care. Repeat.

https://emma75love.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/narc-cycle.jpg

THE SILENT TREATMENT IS A

SANITIZED VERSION OF MURDER

http://rickthomas.net/weekend-shorts-silent-treatment-is-the-sanitized-version-of-murder/

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS

VIOLATE ALL BOUNDARIES

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tpn4sqyBHlE/T_sTexBRn9I/AAAAAAAAAjM/mzgPsU2c098/s1600/Relationship+Chart.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rHA_i9rTwGY/TxgKQV4dCXI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/KnWYfFMb7Lw/s1600/gaslight6.png

‘GASLIGHTING’ IS WEAPON OF CHOICE

FOR COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

VICTIMS THEN THINK THEY’RE CRAZY

‘… GASLIGHTING, ESPECIALLY

IF IT IS REPETITIVE, CAN

PRECIPITATE A WIDE RANGE

OF PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS,

UP TO AND INCLUDING

PSYCHOSIS AND SUICIDE

BEHAVIOR BY THE VICTIMS.’

QUOTE BY DR THEODORE L DORPAT, CRIMES OF PUNISHMENT:

AMERICA'S CULTURE OF VIOLENCE, ALGORA PUBLISHING, 2007, P 180

GASLIGHTING

http://queenbeeing.com/twisted-toxic-love-inside-the-distorted-mind-of-a-narcisssist/

SOME GASLIGHTING TECHNIQUES

TAKEN FROM THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

WWW.HOTLINE.ORG

Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse me.”

Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. “You’rewrong, you never remember things correctly.”

Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or questions the victim’s thoughts. “Is that another crazy idea you got from [friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”

Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”

Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuffup.”

GASLIGHTING DESTROYS

THEIR TARGET’S REALITY

https://jackbrummet.blogspot.com.au/2009_05_01_archive.html

COVERT ABUSERS EXPAND THEIR

“REACH” AND “INFLUENCE”

http://image.slidesharecdn.com/week-5-impression-management-100331220909-phpapp01/95/week-5-impression-management-15-728.jpg?cb=1270073881

LIKE CULT LEADERS THEY AMASS

LOYAL FOLLOWERS OR “ENABLERS”

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-11-18-1447861833-1859311-peoplestempleblackwoman.jpg

COVERTS SEND

OUT THEIR

ENABLERS OR

“FLYING

MONKEYS”

AT EVERY

OPPORTUNITY

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NIPa7jOq694/hqdefault.jpg

flying monkey

In popular psychology, a flying monkey is

someone who does the narcissist’s

bidding to inflict additional torment to the

narcissist's victim.

It might consists of spying on the victim,

spreading gossip, threatening, painting the

narcissist as the victim and their target as

the perpetrator.

Despite this, the narcissist does not

hesitate to make flying monkeys their

scapegoats when and if needed.

The narcissist might send siblings as flying

monkeys to badger the adult child back.

#narcissism #narcissist #narcissists

#flying monkey #flying monkeys

by Narcissistic Notes Fb page April 15,

2014

COVERTS MUST CONTROL

THEIR VICTIM’S ENTIRE WORLD

CONTROL

- Friendships

- Family members

- Finances

- Identity

- Workplace

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-

TUW1eWC8G6A/U1byYuXG3eI/AAAAAAAAAvI/k6XtqmFyFa8/s1600/Triangulation+-

+Narcissistic+Mother.jpg

THEY USE BLAME, SHAME + PROJECTION

VICTIMS ARE TOLD THEY ARE ALWAYS WRONG

Always insist that “the victim is the problem”.

The victim knows something is terribly wrong but they can’t figure out what.

Because the abuse is difficult to perceive the victim will think

“It must be me.”

http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/iamnotcrazy.gif

SHUT DOWN THEIR VICTIM’S IDENTITY

Do not allow:

Thoughts

Feelings

Needs or wants

Desires

Opinions

Beliefs

Ideas

Values

Interests

Goals

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/54/06/5e/54065ef5c6b11a409c0e0864fe43da10.jpg

DISMISS, IGNORE OR OBLITERATE

BASIC HUMAN EMOTIONAL NEEDS

https://pjadallah.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/basichumanneeds-copy-1.jpg

COVERT

NARCISSISTIC

ABUSE

LEADS TO

EMOTIONAL

SHUTDOWN https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/97/e5f2/97e5f24abf891920e7550c68b4b2de3d.jpg

COVERTS

IMITATE

CARING

THEY

FEIGN

EMPATHY

https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/053eb82eebbaf8f

88978293e30e5cdbf861d12-v5-wm.jpg?v=0

IF ACCUSED COVERT NARCS

PROTEST THEIR INNOCENCE

http://s1296.photobucket.com/user/Meahri66/media/innocent_zpseca351d1.jpg.html

LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY

LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY

http://www.superiorsilkscreen.com/1184-1244-thickbox/lie-deny-counter-accuse-and-act-innocent.jpg

LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY

LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/18/f1/fe18f17651503c323e9a100e591e65fb.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTS

NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

https://psychopathresistance.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/yourfault2.png?w=584

THEY HAVE PERFECTED “THE SMIRK”

https://t5.rbxcdn.com/bf58ec114ca822d30b4a6732824f2089

IGNORE ALL SIGNS OF COMPLEX

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

https://cptsd.help/assets/images/cptsd-brain.jpg

COVERTS IGNORE ALL SIGNS OF

C-PTSD IN THEIR VICTIMS

HYPERVIGILENCE CRIPPLING ANXIETY

http://www.lastwordonnothing.com/wp-content/uploads/

2013/07/shutterstock_startle-300x300.jpg

https://tommyboland.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/white_knuckles.jpg

PROLONGED COMPLEX PTSD CAN KILL

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zO7E0wkpor4/TBPsMdcjtFI/AAAAAAAAB_I/97UrnzODRGk/s1600/589a46cf-1.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS USE

SLANDER IN THE GUISE OF CONCERN

Smear Campaigns

False accusations

Scapegoating

Shaming

Gossip

https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/g/grouchomarx/125514/grou

chomarx1.jpg

http://religionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Excommunication.jpg

Attain trust,

respect and

belief of all

those close to

the target victim

so that no-one

believes them.

This way

victims suffer

alone.

COVERTS DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY

TO ENSURE THE VICTIM SUFFERS ALONE

COVERT NARCS REVERSE ROLES AND

PRETEND TO BE THE VICTIM

http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/12063009_118980391797121_201869972_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=MTExMDg4MDQ3NzMyMTUyMzc1OA%3D%3D.2

THEY ELICIT SYMPATHY AT ALL TIMES

FROM THEIR ENABLERS AND OTHERS

http://brentbourgeois.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Poor-Me.jpg

YET COVERT NARCISSIST ABUSERS

NEVER SEEK PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP

The real victim will search for help because

they can’t stand their suffering.

The Covert-Narcissist-Playing-the-Victim

will just tell others about their suffering and

never search for psychological help.

Why would they?

They were never abused!

They’re NOT in pain.

They’re too busy looking for their next

source of Narcissistic Supply.

SO, WHERE WILL THEY FIND THEIR NEXT

BATCH OF POTENTIAL VICTIMS?

In waiting rooms around the world!

Family Doctors

Psychiatrists

Psychologists

Trauma Centers

Pharmacies

Looking for those diagnosed with

Anxiety Depression C- PTSD

Stroke Heart Attackshttp://img12.deviantart.net/ aa9c/i/2014/298/b/c/

pills_by_lora_zombie-d842e9v.png

https://narcbaitdiary.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/image4.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ef/f7/ec/eff7ecf83907a266e582746c6b4ab34b.jpg

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

THE SILENT KILLER

http://www.apa.org/Images/death-title-image_tcm7-187855.jpg

PLEASE SHARE THESE OTHER LINKS ON

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/red-flags-to-narcissistic-personality-disorder-compiled-by-jeni-mawter

http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/narcissistic-victim-syndrome-a-powerpoint-by-jeni-mawter

http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/moving-on-from-narcissistic-abuse-due-to-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd-compiled-by-jeni-mawter

http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/verbal-abuse-and-the-narcissist-communication-tactics-designed-to-make-you-crazy

http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/why-cant-i-move-on-narcissistic-abuse-a-complex-trauma-compiled-by-jeni-mawter

COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

THE PERFECT MURDER?

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