7/28/2019 Queens Denim Day Op-Ed Contest Winner

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Queens Winner: Jacob Zhang, Macaulay Honors College at Queens College

I have a cheerful, gregarious, and ambitious thirteen-year-old sister who is a year awayfrom entering high school. Watching her grow up has been one of the most fulfilling andeye-opening experiences Ive ever had. I want nothing more than for her to continue

loving every minute of life and to remain safe from harm. Since its a few years beforeshe heads off to college by herself, Ive tried my best to prepare her for any sort ofdanger by reminding her to always have her phone on her, to stay around public areaswith lots of people, and to surround herself with friends and folks she trusts.

At the same time, I still have lingering worries. You can never prepare for everything,and Im only kept at peace by the leap of faith that shell be smart enough to take careof herself. However, part of my concern stems from the fact that Iand my generationof menmay be perpetuating to the fears of female college students and their lovedones.

See, in college I joined a fraternity, and in the few years that Ive been in Alpha Chi RhoIve built some of the strongest bonds with my brothers that Ive ever had. I truly lovethese guys like family and, as Scholarship Chair, part of my responsibility is to ensurethat my brothers maintain professionalism and a high moral standard. For the most part,we follow our motto of be men to the best of our abilitybut at parties and socialevents, its often a different story. What begins as just a night out looking for attractivemembers of the opposite sex can quickly turn into statistics: 1 in 4 college women aresurvivors of sexual violence, 41% of college women who are raped were virgins at thetime, and 55% of gang rapes on college campuses are committed by fraternities.

I joined my fraternity because it has a unique distinction; while other Greek

organizations pride themselves on throwing the best parties or pursuing hedonism,Alpha Chi Rho stands for a nobler pursuit: positive masculinity. I truly believe this needsto be extended to the belief systems of all young adult malesthat to be a man shouldbe, and truly means, more than drinking copious amounts of alcohol and sleeping withas many women possible. It is this mentality that creates an atmosphere of danger,where there is no limit to consumption of a poison and where young men are deemedlosers if they arent overeagerly pursuing the women around them. Overhauling thisdefinition of masculinitytransforming it into a gallant pursuit of self-growth andachievementwill lead to positive changes, not only in the sexual culture of college, butalso to the level of success that my male colleagues will attain on a daily basis.

I also notice another danger with college nightlife: male sexual entitlement. The wordsslut and easy are often freely used to describe my female colleagues with no fear ofconsequencebut if this same vocabulary were bestowed on my sister, the anger Idexperience would be unparalleled. Im sure the same goes for all my fraternity brothers,and all men in society. We as men are far too quick to believe that these women areremoved from our shared humanitythat they are objects solely for pleasure, andundeserving of the decency we give our fellow man. Unless this changes, we cannotimprove the conditions of the institutions that our younger sisters will one day enter.

7/28/2019 Queens Denim Day Op-Ed Contest Winner

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Growing up in a lower-income neighborhood in Queens, my mother wanted us to betough and would often take my sister and I to run errands, in places ranging fromJamaica to Chinatown, in the effort to show us that there was nothing to be scared of.Standing just four foot eleven, my mother proved to both of us at a young age that there

was little to fear. If my sister and my motherthe two females I hold closest to my hearthave the courage to brave the ruthless dangers of male-dominated society, the leastus men can do is have the guts to face our own demons and end sexual violence, onebelief at a time.