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UIDE Empathy

FACILITATOR

Tim Stone

Emotional Intelligence:

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UIDE To know that Empathy and Sympathy are different

To internalise the essential attributes of Empathy

To apply empathetic characteristics and habits

EmpathyLearning Outcomes

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“Always put yourself in the other guy’s shoes, Henderson.If you’re quick you can run off with them.”

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Empathy…

‘It means very little to know that a million Chinese are starving,unless you know one Chinese who is starving.’ John Steinbeck, preface to The Forgotten Village, 1941

is understanding & feeling another’s feelings for yourself

is having compassion for another without necessarily feeling their feelings

Sympathy…

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Empathy is both a character trait and an ability

Sympathy is more a reaction of pity, sorrow, affiliation

Empathy Vs Sympathy

Empathy has an ethical or moral dimension & can be learned

Ever try walking a mile in someone else’s shoes?

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Empathy Vs Sympathy

“Empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection. Rarely does an empathic response begin with ‘at least’.” Brené Brown

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Imagine a colleague proposes a strategy with which you do not agree. You do not sympathise with their point of view. Fine.

However, what is useful is to understand why they might have arrived at that strategy and why it might seem right or important to them.

You can empathise with them, even as you disagree.

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Communicate the understanding so it can be felt

See the world as others see it

Understand another’s feelings then, now, later…

Theresa Wiseman’s Four Defining Attributes of Empathy:

Understand without having to like or agree

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Express your understanding, but never say ‘I know what you feel’

Look at the world through the eyes of the other

Allow yourself to connect with the other’s experience

Convert these attributes into Empathy

Instead of judging, ask ‘why’ the other behaves, or says the things they do

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Deeper and…Deeper Still

Radical listening

Look for the human behind everything

Become curious about strangers

BBC 2015 online magazine on ways to train Empathy:

‘To some it comes naturally, but others have to work at it.However, we can all learn to improve our Empathy.’

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Radical Listening

Resist the urge to interrupt

‘’What is essential is our ability to be present to what’s really going on within – to the unique feelings and needs a person is experiencing at that very moment.’Marshall Rosenberg, psychologist and founder of Non-Violent Communication

Concentrate on the other person

Try repeating back to them what they have said

You do not have to like or agree with what they say

Repeating back improves conflict resolution by 50%!

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Looking for the human behind everything

Be mindful of the human being behind everytransaction and situation

Here is a quote from a barista’s blog:

“It is unfathomable how many interactions go on betweencustomers and baristas that don’t actually include any interacting. Being ‘shushed’ or given the ‘one minute’ finger just makes a barista want to respond with a finger of their own.”

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Curiosity about others removes the focus fromourselves

Curiosity about others trains us to consider other people’s perspectives & ideas

Become curious about strangers

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The charismatic author Studs Terkel took the bus regularly just to engage other’s in conversation:

Become curious about strangers

“Don’t be an examiner, be the interested inquirer.

Being genuinely interested in others in a character test. You have to want to be interested. Developing your repertoire of healthy questions is useful. However, your authentic curiosity will spur you to strike up a real conversation.”

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UIDE To know that Empathy and Sympathy are different

To internalise the essential attributes of Empathy

To apply empathetic characteristics and habits

EmpathyLearning Outcomes

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Summing Up & What’s Next

Booklet landing on your desk w/c 20th JuneWebinar hitting your desktop 1st July