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WRITING:

How can we help our students?

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How do your studentsfeel about writing?

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Charlie Browns Summer Essay.

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Why do students feel lie that?

...they ha!e no reason to write

...they do not now how to go about it"

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Writing Tas # Se$tion %

W&'TE () E*+('L T, ( -&'E) (B,/T 0,&T-,L', C(&EE&S

1,/ SH,/L ')CL/E THE -,LL,W')2 ')-,&+(T',)3

the ad!antages of a 4ortfolio $areer

the disad!antages of a 4ortfolio $areer and

how you thin your friend $ould su$$eed

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Ste4 53 Brainstorming

How many ideas can you think for and against a portfolio career?

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Ste4 53 Brainstorming

How many ideas can you think for and against a portfolio career?

-,& (2(')ST

you cannot lose your job loneliness

flexibility you cannot learn from others

no boss there is not much work

you learn more things there is no career structure

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion %

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 63 Coheren$e

There is clearly a problem with cohesion here which in turn

affects coherence. How can we add or change some

connectors so that the text hangs together?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read youre-mail. SoI am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstlyI would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lsoyou ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 83 To4i$ Senten$es

our main ideas are expressed in this text! but are they

expressed well? "an we do better?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 93 e!elo4ment

#xpressing an idea is not enough$ you also ha%e to flesh it out.

&ook at paragraph '. How can we support this point?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 93 e!elo4ment

(aragraph ') Often isolated/cut off

* normal job: colleagues / feel: team

*part-time jobs: work alone / from home

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Ste4 :3 Editing

+ou may not ha%e noticed it! but the text does contain some

mistakes, How can we correct them?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 ;3 &e4hrasing

-ometimes sticking to the text is constraining. nstead it is better

to rewrite a whole sentence/paragraph. How can we do this

in paragraph 0?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-timework, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 %3 Language Enri$hment

1ccuracy is one thing but range is another, How can we impro%e

this aspect of paragraph 2?

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time

work, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 %3 Language Enri$hment

Here is the paragraph in 3uestion)

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills andinterests. #ou can with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

1nd here are some words/expressions one could use)

what you like best disco!er your strengths steady job gain e$perience

de!elop skills acuire knowledge /e$ible a changing world in case youdecide alternati!e routine switch to another career

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Ste4 73 The Beginning

-ome sort of personal remark is needed here as the introduction

appears a bit too blunt.

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time

work, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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Ste4 5

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W3 Le!el 6 # Se$tion 7

Dear Kate,

Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.

irstly I would like to tell you about ad!antages of portfolio career.

"ortfolio career is good because with it you ha!e !ery options, skills and interests. #ou can

with portfolio career ha!e e$perience from many job.

%lso you ha!en&t full time job. So you are more con!enient and freedom. #ou can plan yourtime more.

'ut, the portfolio career has some disad!antages. The people are temporary workers andthey ha!en&t work.

% bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.

I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time

work, you work more.

'ye.

Denise ()*+

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To sum u4 How $an we maeWriting easier for our students?

2i!e them a =s$affolding so they do not start from s$rat$h

2et them to im4ro!e the te>t bit*by*bit

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( better !ersion

Dear Kate,

Thank you for your e-mail.. It was nice to hear from you. %s for the portfolio career, I belie!e you shouldthink carefully about it.

It is true that it has some ad!antages, like the fact that you learn many things. #ou do not ha!e to followthe same routine e!ery day and you can de!elop di0erent skills and gain useful e$perience.

In addition you can plan your time better. 1ery often you work from home so you can choose when to dothings. If some work is incon!enient you may e!en choose not to take it.

2n the other hand, a portfolio career is unpredictable. Sometimes you may ha!e too much work and at

other times you may ha!e nothing. So it is di3cult to make plans.

%nother problem is that you may sometimes feel lonely. In a full-time job you ha!e colleagues who canbecome your friends, while in a portfolio career you may work from home and meet !ery few people.

2n the whole, I would ad!ise you to look for a proper job - I think it is better for someone like you.

I hope I ha!e helped you. I look forward to hear what you decide.

4o!e,

Denise

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