"psychology of success under stress" - dr. sharon melnick - 2009 apartment interent...
TRANSCRIPT
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The Psychology of SuccessUnder Stress
Sharon M. Melnick, Ph.D.
April 30, 2009
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What is Stress?
LayoffsRentals Down
Negative Media
Worries about my future
Colleagues and boss ‘on edge’
OverwhelmedExhausted
SickFamily Tensions
Stress Level
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What determines your response to stress?
Your perceived ability to handle the stress
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Perceived ability to handle the stress
COMMAND: Control your thoughts
CONFIDENCE: Believe in / rely on yourself
CALM: Control your nervous system
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I don’t get caught up in other’s stress
I am ‘chill’
I will ‘land on my feet’ no matter what
I, not others, control my destiny
I control my thoughtsI focus
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Control Amplifiers
Command• Confident Self-talk
Confidence
• Fastest way to confidence
Calm• Balance your nervous system• Maximize your body’s intelligence
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Confident Self-Talk
How many thoughts does a human being have a day?
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Confident Self-Talk
How many thoughts does a human being have a day?• 60,000
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Confident Self-Talk
How many thoughts does a human being have a day?• 60,000
• ______ x 7 = number of thoughts left on the table each week
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Confident Self-Talk
Conscious Mind = Captain
Subconscious Mind = Crewmembers
Every thought is a “Captain’s Order”
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Confident Self-Talk
My Horizon Point is…
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Confident Self-Talk
My Horizon Point is…
Your future creates your present
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Confident Self-Talk
Captain’s Orders Guidelines:• “I” statements
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Confident Self-Talk
Captain’s Orders Guidelines:• “I” Statements• Constructive
Not empty calorie thoughts
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Confident Self-Talk
Captain’s Orders Guidelines:• “I” Statements• Constructive
Not empty calorie thoughts “What” and “How” questions
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Confident Self-Talk
Captain’s Orders Guidelines:• “I” Statements• Constructive
Not empty calorie thoughts “What” and “How” questions
• Motivating Tone Be the DJ of your own mental iPod
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Confident Self-Talk
Create “Flow States” with Captain’s Orders
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Confidence
THE FASTEST WAY TO BUILD CONFIDENCE
• The way you are trying to build confidence may be interfering with building confidence
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Other People
Current confidence / Self Doubt
Desired Confidence,Security, Effectiveness
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Other People
I act towards others How I hope others will act towards me
Confident, Secure, Effective
Current confidence / Self Doubt
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Other People
I act so others will think well of me
How I hope others will act towards me
Confident, Secure, Effective
Current confidence / Self Doubt
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Other People
I act so others will think well of me
How I hope others will act towards me
Confident, Secure, Effective
INDIRECT PATHWAY:Type 1: Act towards others in order to get them to act towards me so that I feel valued and ‘enough’. I ‘borrow’ confidence from the way I get
other people to think about me.
Current confidence / Self Doubt
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Other People
Confident, Secure, Effective
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Other People
I avoid, procrastinate, and hold myself back.
How I hope to prevent other people from criticizing me.
Confident, Secure, Effective
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Other People
I avoid, procrastinate, and hold myself back.
How I hope to prevent other people from criticizing me.
Confident, Secure, Effective INDIRECT PATHWAY:
Type 2: Act to prevent others from acting towards me in ways that would erode my confidence. Act to “hold on” to the confidence I have.
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GO DIRECT!
Confident, Secure, Effective
DIRECT PATHWAY:I act directly to bring value and build confidence and fulfillment
for the long term.
Build Confidence Directly
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Confidence
GO DIRECT!
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Staying Calm Under Stress
How do you respond to stress now?
Your nervous system modulates your response to stress
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Two Parts of Your Nervous System
• Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
• Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Sympathetic Nervous System• Rush of adrenaline – energy burst then lull• Cortisol levels high
Depresses immune system Aging Degrades memory
• Heart palpitations – inefficient• High level of (over) focus
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Parasympathetic Nervous System• Calms you• Access intuition• See the big picture• “Calm discernment” (can put emotion aside)• Sleep more restfully – melatonin levels healthy• Strengthens idea formation, creativity, & objective
thinking
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Re-wire your nervous system instead of using temporary stress relief
Balancing the SNS and PNS:
MIND FOLLOWS BREATH
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Three-Part Breath:
Equal parts INHALE - HOLD - EXHALE
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Staying Calm Under Stress
Accessing the “Brain in Your Heart” to Stay Calm
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The best way to predict the future is…
to create it.- Peter Drucker
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The Psychology of SuccessUnder Stress
Sharon M. Melnick, Ph.D.
Information for AIM participants:
www.SharonMelnick.com/AIM