PRIEST AS HOLY LISTENER

By

Father John Maxwell

GOD AS HOLY LISTENER “The Lord will hear when I call unto him.”

(Psa 4:4) “Evening, Morning and at Noon will I pray,

and cry aloud; and he shall hear my voice.” (Psa 55:17)

“I love the Lord because he has listened to my voice and my supplication. Because he has inclined his ear to me … (Psa 116:1-2)

God is a discriminate listener “The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and

his ears are open to their cry.” (Psa. 34:15) “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not

hear me.” (Psa. 66:18)

PRIEST AND LISTENING TO GOD Hear the word of the Lord

“Hear O Israel .. The Lord our God is One God” (Deut 6:4)

Wisdom let us attend, Let us Hear the Holy Gospel

Priest as Obedient Hearer (hypakoúō) Priest is a discriminate listener.

“My Sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27)

“And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him, for they know not the voice of strangers.” (John 10:5)

ENTICING IDEAS AND THOUGHTS “And this I say, lest any man should

beguile you with enticing words”. Col 2:4

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” Col 2:8

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5

PRIEST AS LISTENER TO OTHERS FOR HELP “Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known

and read of all men:” (2 Cor 2:2)

“Each person is a word spoken to us by Christ the Divine Logos – a word to which we in our turn are invited to respond.” Fr Dumitru Staniloae

Instruction: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” (Prov. 1:8).

Counsel: “A wise man will hear, and will increase in learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.” (Prov. 1:5)

Correction: He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding. (Prov 15:22)

CATHOLIC NUNS IN INNER CITY“You came down here to help us poor people.

You had enthusiasm and dedication and lots of bright ideas. You knew what was needed to be done and you went ahead and did it. Only problem was, you never asked us. You talked and talked to us and at us. But you never listened. You never heard what we said, you never asked our opinion. You made us feel poorer and stupider than we already felt. You want to help us? Then listen to us!”

Juliana Casey, Food for the Journey, p. 103

Priest as Listener of the Community

PRIEST LISTENING TO HELP OTHERS Rooted in Loving your Neighbor and Not

Judging your Brother Goal is Healing – Diagnostician Wounded Healer Relational

“Listening therefore, is a crucial virtue for those endowed and entrusted by others with authority. Often one will help others most not so much by what one says and advises, as by one’s peaceful, silent presence and attentive listening.” Fr. John Chryssavgis, Soul Mending: The Art of Spiritual Direction, p. 106.

“Sometimes we need people because the wounds are too deep to admit by ourselves, the evil too painful to confront alone. Sometimes we need people to help us name and own our past. We may need a gentle companion who accompanies us on the spiritual path, to whom we can express the pain we feel, or the abuse we have suffered, or the addiction which ensnares and enslaves us.” Fr. John Chryssavgis, Soul Mending: the Art of Spiritual Direction, pp. 10-11.

PRIEST ARE SOMETIMES EXPERTS IN SHUTTING DOWN COMMUNICATION

“You must not feel that way.”“Everything will be okay.”“God won’t give you more than you can

bear.”“God just needed another angel in

heaven.”“Let’s pray.”“That reminds me of the time ….”“Here’s what I would do, if I were you, ...”“ You’ll have other children.”“You should be happy she is out of her

misery.”“He wouldn’t want you to be upset.”“I Know just how you feel.”

HENDRANCES TO LISTENING Forming your ideas before you actually

hear Asking Why Questions Directive – Yes /But Fear – we won’t know what to say Feared – The one who wants to divulge

is afraid of rejection Cold or Harsh Demeanor: “Severity and

harshness never changes anyone.” St. John Cassian cited in Joseph Allen, Inner Way, p. 53.

LESS WORDSMORE LISTENTING

“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.” (Ec 5:2)

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, SLOW to speak, SLOW to wrath.” (James 1:19)

“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.” (Pr. 17:27)

“Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.” (Pr. 29:20)

Smart people hide their knowledge, but stupid people show off their ignorance. Pro. 12:23

ACTIVE LISTENING Conscious effort to enter into the

other’s world. It enables the other to express her

feelings, thought and behaviors. It facilitates a sense of community

and relationship. It places the other on a path of self

discovery. It diffuses strong emotions and brings

a sense of peace.

KEYS TO LISTENING Hear Every Word rather than thinking

about what your will say. Be Comfortable with Silence.

Use of the Pause Hear the Message behind the Message. Listen for the Parable. Have healthy sense of Skepticism Interpretive Listening Reflective Listening

ASKING OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS OR STATEMENTSTO DEEPEN LISTENING Tell me more What are your options? What do you want me to pray about? Perception checks …. I think you are

saying is You seem terrified …

CONFESSION Is there anything more? What do you think would help you avoid this sin? Not over listening

Stages in life time confession Affirmation and Encouragement Opinions rather than Commands Student rather than the teacher

“Elder Paisios suggested that a pastor should not speak as a teacher or a superior, but like a humble student who recalls the sayings of holy father for similar situations.” Father Alexis Trader, Ancient Christian Wisdom and Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Therapy, p. 154

Correct with gentleness If a rebuke is necessary it should be done “with great

gentleness and great prudence.” St John Chrysostom,

Commentary on 1st Corinthians 44.3

Listen to the:Pain behind the wordsFear behind the aggressionInsecurity behind the rigidity

Guilt behind the compensationBe careful with your words

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Prov. 15:1

DIFFICULT PERSON

“Better will the body bear unsuitable medicines than the soul unsuitable words.” St John Chrysostom Commentary on Colossians 11

PASTORAL PRESENCE Trust that your calm presence is

enough Job’s friends

They sympathize and comforted him”They wept and mourned with himThey sat in silence with him for 7 daysEliphaz the Temanite

You must have sinned in someway.Bildad the Shuhite

If you would just repent, then God will take away the suffering

Zophar the Naamathite This was just God’s will

WHAT WE ARE SAYINGWHEN WE LISTEN WITH UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

Your are important to me Your words and feelings are important to

me I give you the space to express yourself