prevention tools - ashcraft after school

Copyright: 2020 by Mike Ashcraft/ All Rights Reserved/ 10601 Lomas Blvd NE/ Albuquerque, NM 87112/ 505-296-2880/ www.ashcraftafterschool.com/ page 1

PreventionToolsHumor:Showingasenseofhumorallowsforafoundationofemotionalsafety.Whenyoushowyoursenseofhumorithelpschildrentofeelhappy&secure.Usinghumormayalsobeeffectiveindiffusingemotionally-chargedsituations.SuperEnvironments:Theenvironmentsendscuestoourbrainsabouthowweshouldthink&feel.Creatingindoor&outdoorenvironmentsthatsendcuesthatpromotedesiredbehaviorisapowerfultool.Controltheenvironment–NOTthechild.SuperRelationships:It’sallabouttherelationships!Itisaboutcreatingaspecialcultureofrespectandacceptance.Itisabouttrulygettingtoknowkidswellenoughthatwecanaccuratelyunderstandwhybehaviorsoccur–whethertheyarebehavinginawayinordertogetattention,orasenseofpower,orevenrevenge.Itisaboutcreatingaprogramwherethereisaspecialenvelopeofsafety,aplacewhereput-downsareneverallowed.Itisaboutcreatingcaringrelationshipsandbringingthe“funergy”totheprogram.

SuperExperiences:Intheareaofexperiences,school-agecareprofessionalscanintroducevarietyandnovelty.Noveltyintheformofexperientiallearningisakeytobrainenrichment.School-agecareprofessionalsneedtoprovideavarietyofenrichingexperiencessuchasfieldtrips,guestspeakers,computers,games,roleplaysanddramaticplay,artactivities,andlong-andshort-termprojects.VitalCurriculumPlanningElements–NOVELTYisthekey! 1. Activeplayandpassiveactivitychoices.2. Opportunitiestobecreative:art(notpackagedprojects),drama,

dance,music,&play.3. Opportunitiesforthekidstobeinvolvedintheplanningand

operatingoftheprogram.4. Diverseactivitychoices,whichreflectontheculturesofthe

programandcommunity.5. Activitiesdesignedbyolderkidsandwitholderkidsinmind.6. Opportunitiesfortheprogramtobeinvolvedinhelpingthecommunity.7. Opportunitiesforchildrentodeveloplifeskillssuchascooking,earningmoney,etc.8. Opportunitiesforfamiliestobeinvolvedintheschool-agecareprogram.9. Longandshort-termprojectsforchildrentoseethroughtothe

end.10. HaveFun!Fun,playfulactivitiesthatchildrentrulylove!SuperStableRoutine:Childrenneedanestablishedroutinethatisconsistentyetflexible,aroutinethatoffersenoughsafety,autonomyandstimulationtomeetthedevelopmentalneedsofschool-agechildren.Averystableroutinewithoutnoveltyandvarietyisboring,whilealotofnoveltywithoutthestabilityofroutineischaotic.Thehighamountofvarietyandnoveltythatispartofagoodcurriculummustbebalancedbyastableroutine


andpredictableritualsinordertoimprovetheoverallbehaviorofaschool-agecareprogram.Theroutineneedstoprovidestabilitywithoutbeingrigid,sochildrencanknowthedailyroutineandfollowitwithoutmanyreminders.SuperRituals:Ritualsareeventsandinteractionsthatchildrenenjoyandanticipate.Ritualsbuildunityandhelpcreateasenseofbelongingandcommunity.Examplesofrituals:amorning“huddle”beforedismissingthemorningprogramtoschool,musicthatsignalscleanuptime,awelcomegreetingfromthewholeprogramfornewchildren,announcementsbeforethefieldtrip,beingcalledbynameeveryday,highfivesasacommonacknowledgement,etc.

SuperVision:1. FOCUSyourattentiononthesupervisionofthechildrenwhenyou

arewithagroup.2. TALKLATERwithotherstaffduringstaffmeetings,lunchandafter

work.Donotspendtimetalkingunnecessarilywhenyouaresupervisingchildren.

3. SPREADOUTwhenthere'smorethanonestaffpersoninanareasothatyoucansupervisetheentireactivityareawell.

4. SEEEVERYONEwhenyouaretalkingtoorplayingwithonechildorasmallgroup.Sitorstandsothatthewholegroupisinyourfieldofvisionandkeepyoureyesmoving.

5. KEEPTRACKofchildrenwhogofromoneareatoanotherandchildrenwhogotothebathroom.Makesurethechildgetstothesupervisedareaorbackfromthebathroominareasonabletime.

6. STAYAHEADofthegroupwhengoingfromoneareatoanother,sothegrouporindividualchildrenshouldnevergetintoanewunsupervisedareaaheadofyou.Youmustsurveytheareayouareenteringforsafetyhazardsbeforeentering.Don'tletchildrenrunaheadofyoueventotheplaygroundoractivityroom.

7. PREVENTtroublebeforeitstarts.Watchforpotentialtrouble.Ifyouthinkthekidsaregoingsomethingwhichisdangerous,STOPthem.Iftheyarguethatsomeoneelseletsthemdoit,tellthemthatmaybeso,butyouareinchargeofsafetynowandyoudon'tthinkitissafe.Discussthisconflictwiththerestofthestaffanddevelopconsistentruleslater,butforthemomentgowithyour"gut"feeling.

8. USEEQUIPMENTCORRECTLY.Useallequipmentandplaygroundstructuresthewaytheequipmentwasmeanttobeused.Forexample,donotletchildrenclimbuptheoutsideofslides.Donotallowchildrentowalktight-rope-styleacrossthemonkeybars.Donotallowchildrentojumpoffofswings.Donothelpchildrenontoequipmentthattheycannotclimbontoandoffofbythemselves.

9. PLANAHEADforplentyofpositiveactivitychoices.Busykidsareeasiertosupervisethanboredkids.Besurethatthechildreninyourgrouphaveplentyofacceptablebehavioroptionstochoose.

DiscussionQuestions:

1. Howwellarechildrensupervisedatyoursite?2. Dochildrengetintounsupervisedareas?3. Arethecheckeduponwhentheygotothebathroom?4. Whatarethestrengthsandweaknessesofyoursiteintermsofsupervision?5. Whatareyourindividualstrengthsandweaknesses?6. Whatcanbedonetoimprovethesupervisionoftheteam?


SuperPowers:Thinkbacktowhenyouwereachild.Whatdidyoudorightafterschool?Didyougostraighttotherefrigeratorforasnack?Didyougetonyourbikeandridearoundtheneighborhood?Didyougostraighttothephoneorclubhousetotalkwithfriends?Didyougostraighttothecouchandrestupforawhile?Ifyoucouldsitandwatchchildrenchoosewhattheywanttodorightafterschool,youwouldnoticethatchildrentodayhavethesameneedsaschildrendidinyourday.Someofthemgostraightforsnacks;somerunlaps/burnoffsomeenergy;somerapwithfriends,andsomegorelaxandnap.

Inmostschool-agecareprograms,whentheschoolbellrings,thechildrencometoanactivityareawheretheymustwaitquietlyforattendanceandannouncements.Thentheyare"herded"toanareawheretheymustsitandwaitquietlyforsnack,andthentoastaffdirectedactivityorhomeworktimeoroutdoorplay.Thestaffprogramswiththisroutinebecomeangryatthekidsbecausethechildrenwon'tfollowtheroutineandstayquiet.Itiscommonforstaffinprogramslikethesetoexperienceheaviness,stressandburnout,whilethechildrenexperienceboredomandexhibitmisbehavior.Staffinprogramslikethisfeeltheymustbe"incharge"or"incontrol"ofthechildrenatalltimeswhichrobschildrenoftheopportunitytodevelopself-disciplineanddecisionmakingskills.It'sabadwaytostartaday.Thefactissomekidsneedtorelaxquietlyrightafterschoolandsomekidsneedasnack(napsandsnacks).Somekidsneedtorunoffsomeenergyandsomekidsneedtotalktotheirfriends(lapsandraps).

Empowermentaspartoftheestablishedroutineallowskidstochoosesnacks,laps,rapsornapsassoonastheschoolbellrings.Givethemsometimetosettleinwhentheyarriveandthenbeginthestaffdirectedactivities.Itismucheasierguidingchildrenintoappropriateactivitiesoftheirownchoosing(whichmeettheirindividualneeds),thantoforcechildrenintoactivitiesthattheydonotwant(whichdonotmeettheirindividualneeds).Whentransitiontimeshappen,staffshouldclearlyexplainhowthetransitionwillhappen.Supervisionduringtransitiontimesshouldbesufficienttoensuresafety.Childrenshouldnotmoveorwaitinlargegroupsorlinesorwaitalongtimeforanactivitytostart.Childrenshouldbeabletomeettheirphysicalneedsinarelaxedway–getdrinks,gotothebathroom,andeatsnacksasanactivitychoicewithouthavingtowaitfortheentiregroup.Whenmovingasagroupisrequired,childrenshouldnotbeforcedtowaitinsilence.Priorplanningtoreduceunnecessarywaitingresultsinfewerbehaviorproblemsresultingfromboredom.Childrenshouldnotberushedtofinishanactivity,andchildrenwhofinishanactivityearlyshouldhaveanewactivitychoicetomake.Anempoweringroutinelikethisoneprovidestheconsistencythatchildrenneedtoanticipatewhattheyneedtodoandhowtheyneedtobehave.

SuperFraming:Framingisallaboutestablishingrelevancyandownership.Thebraincravesrelevancy.Involvekidsinsettingstandardsofbehavior.Negotiateasocialcontractwithyourkids.Havethembepartofdevelopingtherulesforthecommunity.Involvethemindevelopingconsequencesforbreakingthestandardsofbehavior?Framingistakingtimetoestablishrelevancy&answerthequestion,“What’sinitforme?”Whyshouldtheypayattentionduringannouncements?Sotheygetthe411&what’scomingtothem.Whyshouldtheytakecareofsupplies?Sotheyhavemorefun&enjoyment.


AftertheFactTools

• Intervene:Whenyouseeundesirableorineffectivebehavior,don’tlooktheotherway.Don’tignoreit.Rememberthatwhatyoupermit,youpromote.Beingadoormatdoesnotmakechildrenlikeyou,infact,itmakesthemloserespectforyou.Whenyour“No”means“No,”itbuildsarelationshipbasedontrust.Don’tswoopinandsolveproblemsforkids.Intervenewithquestions,notanswers.Intervenewiththeintenttohelpthemdevelopself-discipline.

• Proximity:Whenyouseeorhearsomethingtakingplacethatyouthinkmighteruptintoundesirablebehavior,getcloser!Thisservesasavisualreminderoftheexpectationsandpreventsmisbehaviorwithoutadultinterference.

• Non-VerbalCues:Wheneverpossible,usenon-verbalcues.Communicatingpositiveornegativethingsnon-verballylessensasenseofembarrassmentchildrenmayfeelwhentheyarepublicallypraisedorchastised.

• MakelikeaDuck:Especiallywhenbehaviorsareattention-gettingbehaviors,sometimesthebeststrategyistoletsomestuffsliderightoffyourback.Nevermakelikeaduckforbehaviorsthatareunsafe,orforputdowns,orinsults.

• RedirectionWhenyouseebehaviorsthatarenotsoundesirablethatthebehaviorshouldbepunishedorsodesirablethatthebehaviorshouldbereinforced,apossibilitymightbetoredirectthebehavior.Forexample,runninginsidemightberedirectedoutside;throwingblocksmightberedirectedtothrowingFrisbees.

• PositiveMentalImages:Ourbrainsformmentalimagesofwordsthatithears.IfIsay,“DoNOTvisualizeabig,pinkgorilla”yourbrainmakesanimageofabigpinkgorillaeventhoughItoldyounottoimagineit.IfIsay,“Donotspillthatmilk”whatimagedoIcreate?Right–spilledmilk.Ishouldhavesaid,“Holdthemilkcarefullywithbothhands”tocreateapositivementalimage.Whenwesay,“Don’trun!”–thebrainseesanimageofrunning.Chooselanguageandpostrulesthatelicitthementalimagethatwewanttoseesuchas,“WalkSlowlyIntheMulti-PurposeRoom.”

• Warnings:Whenyouseeabehaviorthatisn’tblatantdisregardfortherulesordisrespectofanotherperson,thechildmayonlyneedtobetaughttheexpectation.Forexample,achildwhotakesthescienceequipmentoutside,maynotknowthattheruleistokeepitinthesciencearea,soawarningmightbetheappropriateresponse.

• UsefulPhrases:o Inoticed….Whatwereyoutryingtoget(orhopingwouldhappen)bydoingthat?Diditwork?

IfIcouldteachyou/helpyoudiscoveranewwayofgettingthat–withoutgettingintrouble–wouldyouwanttolearnit?

o Iseethatyouaredoing_____.Whatareyousupposedtobedoing?What'sgoingtohappenifyoukeepdoingwhatyou'redoing?Doyouwantthattohappen?Whatareyougoingtodonow?(Thenbackoffandletthemmakeachoice).

o EveryoneknowsthatwhenyoucometoChildren’sChoicethateveryoneparticipatesin_____cleanup/goingtoactivities/etc.,-it’spartofChildren’sChoice.

o Childsays,“Butit’shot/boring/hardwork,etc.”Yousay,“You’rerightit’shot…ANDEveryoneknowsthatwhenyoucometoChildren’sChoicethatcleanup–ispartofwhatwedohere.

o Stillgettingdefiance?AreyoutellingmethatifIaskyouinarespectfulwayto______somethingeveryonedoesatChildren’sChoice,thatyouaregoingtorefuse?Isthatwhatyou’retellingme?


LossofPrivileges:(insteadof“TimeOut”).Idefine“timeout”aswhenachildbreaksarule,theadultforceshimtositand“thinkaboutwhatyoudidwrong”forapredeterminedtime,sayoneminuteperyearthechildisold(anineyearoldgetsnineminutesoftimeout).Thisisaclassiccopoutanddoesnotteachthechildanything.Ifachildbreaksaruleordoesnotmeethistheexpectationsinanactivitythatheisresponsiblefor,itisOKtoremovethatprivilege.Forexample,ifaruleoftheswimmingpoolis“Nodunking”andthechilddunksanotherchilditisOKforthechildtolosetheirprivilegeofswimming.Thedifferenceisthatthechilddoesnotgethisprivilegebackwhenthe“bighandgetsonthe5”butwhentheyshowachangeinattitudeorchangeinbehavior–theyagreethattheywillnotdunkanyoneelse.PeaceOut:(insteadof“TimeOut”).Asmentionedearlier,whenkidsarein“fight,flight,orfreeze”mode,theirlimbicsystemiscontrollingtheirbrainandtheirbehavior.Theiremotionsarehighanditisdifficulttoreasonandthink.Theyneedtimetogetcontroloftheiremotionsbeforethinkingaboutmoreeffectivebehaviors.Don’tsay,“Gotakea“timeout”becausechildrenhavelearnedthatthisisapunishment,sotheygetmorestressedout!Saysomethinglike,“Icanseeyouareupset,Idon’tknowwhathappened,Idon’twanttoknowrightnow.Gobebyyourself(dosomeMr.PlaydoughHeadorRobotRagdoll),breatheslowlyanddeeply,relax.WhenYOUareready,wecantalkaboutit.”LogicalConsequences:Logicalconsequencesareconsequencesthatanadultimposesonachildwhobreaksarule.Thechildmustcompletehisconsequenceinordertoearnbackhisprivileges.Naturalconsequencesareimposedbynature–whenyouputyourhandonahotstove,yougetburned–EVERYTIME.Logicalconsequencesshouldmimicnaturalconsequencesintheirconsistency.Inourprograms,thekidshelppredeterminethelogicalconsequencesforspecifiedmisbehaviorsinadvance,sotheadultmerelypointsoutthenecessityofperformingalogicalconsequencethatthecommunityofkidspredetermined.Oneimportantpointisthatlogicalconsequencesmustberelatedtotheoffense(doingsomethingconstructivetopayfordoingsomethingdestructive);theymustbereasonable(completedinasensibleamountoftime–developmentallyappropriate);andtheymustberespectful(consideratetothechildasahumanbeing).Feedback:Feedbackisimportanttothebrainandlearning.Feedbackcanbedeliveredbypeers,adults,orfromthechild’sowninternalspeech.Whenyougivefeedbacktoachildtohelphimlearnandunderstand,itshouldbeimmediate,specificandobjective.Immediate–atthepointofperformance,notwhenhismomarrivestotakehimhomeattheendoftheday.Specificandobjective–nothowYOUfeelabouthisactions,butexactlywhathisactionslookedlikeorsoundedlike;forexample,todayyouinterruptedtheteachermakingannouncements4times.Challenge:Childrenlearnbestwhentheyarechallenged.Developmentallyachildmightbeatalevelinrelationtotheabilitytodoataskorelicitabehaviorwherehecandothetaskeasily–noproblem–nochallenge.Orataskmightbesodifficultthathecannotdoitevenwithhelpfromapeeroranadult–notdevelopmentallyappropriateevenwithhelp.Childrenlearnbestwhentheyareinbetweenthesetwolevels–wheretheycandothetask,butitischallengingandtheyneedalittleinstruction,alittlehelp,alittleguidance.Whenwechallengekidsatthislevel,wehavethemostleverage,themostabilitytohelpthemtogrow,learn,anddevelop.


Restitution:

Restitutionisastepbeyondlogicalconsequences.Itisonlydevelopmentallyappropriateforchildrenwhohavesomeknowledge,experience,orabilitytounderstandhowyoucanpayforamistakebydoingsomethingtomakeitright.Restitutionasaresponsetoseveredisruptionsisabrain-basedapproachbecausethebrainlearnsbestwithfeedbackthat'simmediateandspecific.

Specifically,restitutionistheactofrepairingthedamageor"makingright"thewrong.Youcannotundothedamage,butyoucanprovidecompensationforanyonewhowaswronged.Restitutionisnotforeverysingleinfraction,justthemoresevereones.Itisforkidswhoaredevelopmentallyreadytounderstandthisconcept.Itisforkidswhoarealreadyusedtologicalconsequences.Thebasicsofrestitutionareasfollows:

• Itisallrighttomakeamistake.• Youmaynotevenhaveintendedforthistohappen.• But…guesswhat,someone(anindividualorthecommunity)washarmedorwrongedbythe

choiceyoumade.• Now,howareyougoingtofixit?Whatwillyoudotorightthewrong?• Restitutiontakesintoconsiderationamendstothevictimandself-reparationoftheoffender.• Restitutionisself-discipline,notteacher-punished.• Restitutionallowsthechildtofixithimself;thisispositivedevelopment.• Forgivenessbythevictimisnotrestitution.Itmayofferrelief,butdoesnotfixit.“It’sOKtosay

youaresorry,NOWwhatareyougoingtodotofixit?”• Consequencesdonotallowreparationtothepersonwronged.Whenachildisgivena

consequence,andcompletesit–he/sheisreturnedtoaneutralstate.Whenachildmakesrestitutionhe/shegrowsandlearns.

Restitutionismosteffectivewhenthesecriticalqualitiesarepresent:

1. Itisseenbybothvictimandoffenderasadequate.2. Requireseffortbytheoffender.3. Itleavesnoresidualbadfeelings.4. Itrequiresenoughcompensationthatitislesslikelytoberepeatedinthefuture.5. Itisrelevanttothegeneralareaoftheoffense.6. Theoffenderseesandexperiencesthelong-termvalueofdevelopingtheirself-discipline.7. Itistiedtovalues–howwetreatpeople.8. Itisalwaysofferedasachoice,neverimposed.Ifachilddoesnotchooserestitution,usean

alternativeconsequence.Examplesofrestitution:InappropriateAction AppropriateRestitutionName-calling/verbalabuse ApologyorgivecomplimentsDamageclothingofanother RepairorReplaceclothingWastegrouptime ProvidespecialcontributiontothegroupTreatteacherabusively LetterofapologyDeface/damageproperty Cleanit/Repairit/ReplaceitStealingApology AskownerwhatwouldmakeitrightMakingamess Cleanup,plusextraOtherinfractions Askchild,"Howwillyoufixthis?"


Restitutionshouldnotreplaceasetofrulesandconsequencesthatthecaregiverandchildrenco-

create.Itisnotforeverychild,everytime.Itisanoptionalwaythatsomechildren,whowrongothers,canmakethingsright.Intheprocess,agreatdealofsocialresponsibilitycanbelearned.Buttheprocesshastobeoptional.Letussayachildisaskedthequestion,"Howdoyouplantorepairthewrong?"Ifthechildwantstomakeitright,butdoesnotknowhow,providesomedirection.Ifthechildsimplyrefuses,thatisacceptable.Somechildrenarenotyetreadyforthislevelofaccountability.Movethemtowardsself-responsibilitysothatovertime,theywillbemoreprepared.RequestHelp-SuggestionCircles

Sometimesyoumaybehittingawall,butacolleaguecanseeanotherwayyoucansucceed.

Diversityofideasisapowerfulresource.Itleadstobetterproblemsolving.Thenexttimesomeoneonyourteamasksforsomehelpwithideastosolveaproblemorasuggestion,tryasuggestioncircletomaximizethediversityofthought.

Here’showitworks.• Everyonestandsup.Thiskeepspeoplefromexpoundingendlesslyontheirsuggestions.• Designateonepersontowritedownallofthesuggestions,sothepersonaskingforhelp

canpayattention,andstillhavearecordofideas.• Instructthepersonaskingforhelptoagain

rephrasetheproblemortherequestforideas,sothateveryoneunderstandstheissue.

• Tellthepersonthataskedforhelpthatbecausethequantityofideasisthegoal,theymayonlyrespondtosuggestionsofferedwithONLYtwowords–“ThankYou.”

• Byonlysayingonly,“Thankyou.”Thepersonaskingforhelpwillnotruntheriskof“fire-hosing”people’sideasandunintentionallylimitingcreativity.Evenifthepersonhasalreadytriedthesuggestionorknowsitwon’twork–“ThankYou.”

• Whenthebrainstormingiscomplete.Givethepersonrequestinghelpthelistofsuggestions,sohecandecidewhatifanysuggestionstotake.

ConclusionThegoalofabrain-baseddisciplineapproachistosupportthechildtodevelopgreaterself-discipline.

Caregiversdealwiththreeprimarytypesofdisciplineproblems:(1)Severeproblems—harmingpeopleorproperty,includingseveredisrespect,defacingordestroyingproperty,profanity,threats,unprovokedviolence,evadingsupervision;(2)Minorproblems—showingdisrespect,throwingharmlessobjects,beinginaprohibitedarea,takingormovingothers’things,noisedisruptions;(3)Groupbehaviorproblems—involvingmanyormostofthechildrenintheprogram;50-90%oftheclassoutofcontrolwithinappropriateness,butnoharmiseminent.

Thetwoprimaryresponsestomisbehavior,dependingonwhethertheproblemissevereorminor,individualorgroup,are:handletheproblemonthespotwithimmediateactionandfeedback,orusemore"invisiblediscipline"whichallowsyoutodealwiththeissuewithoutthechildbeingawareofit(redirectionorchangingtheenvironment).Reducingadultimposedthreatisimportantsothatyou’renotencouraginga"prisonwarden"atmosphere;you’renotlinkingupnegativestateswiththeprogram,causingkidstolearntohateschool-agecare,andyou’remakingschoolmoretruetothereal-world.

prevention tools - ashcraft after school

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