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Effective Communication Skills

Training Store corporate training materialscontact@trainingstore.vn

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Agenda

Understanding communication Communication Barriers Para-verbal Communication Skills Non-verbal Communication STAR speaking Listening Skills Questioning Techniques Providing Feedback Networking Skills Non-violent Communication Introduction

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Team discussion1. What is communication?

2. Sharing 3 examples you missed opportunities because of lack of communication?

3. How do we communicate effectively?

Pre-Assignment

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Part 1Understanding Communication

What is Communication?How Do We Communicate?

Communication FactorsOne-Way versus Two-Way Communication

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What is Communication?

Communication:– The imparting or interchange of thoughts,

opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. Random House Dictionary

The effectiveness of communication– Ability to solve problems– Productivity– Level of stress– Relationships with others– Ability to meet your goals and achieve your dreams– Level of satisfaction with your life

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How Do We Communicate? (1)

Noise

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How Do We Communicate? (2)

We communicate in three major ways:

– Spoken

• Verbal

• Para-verbal

– Non-verbal

– Written

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Communication Factors

Method

Mass

Audience

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One-Way versus Two-Way Communication

Advantage Versus

Disadvantage?

The Sender wants one-way communication, but the Receiver always wants two-way communication!

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Part 2Communication Barriers

Common Barriers The Barriers From Sender The Barriers From Receiver

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Common Barriers (1)

Team members often tell that:– “I can’t explain the problem to the other

person that they understand.”

– “I can’t present the idea to my manager what I mean.”

– “I don’t have enough time and tools to communicate effectively the solution.”

– “I’m stressed, I can’t listen to the speaker.”

– “The person I am trying to communicate with doesn’t want to listen me.”

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Common Barriers (2) Language barriers

– Speak different languages.– Not the first language for one or more people

involved in the communication.– Speak the same language, but are from

different regions. Culture barriers

– Different cultures– Different classes – Different lifestyles

Differences in time and place – These barriers often occur when people are

in different time zones, or different places.

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The Barriers From Sender

Don’t know what the receiver expects. Using a large amount of words to convey

messages. Conveying many issues in a single message that

make the receiver confused. Going around and not straight to main points of a

conversation. Wrong assumption about the receiver’s

knowledge and skills to understand. Using unfamiliar words, examples or using

figurative meaning words that can be understood in different ways.

Talking when the receiver is distracted.

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The Barriers From Receiver

Not paying attention. Depending on the receiver’s thoughts. Being suppressed by emotion. Tending to listen to what one wants to see or

hear. Listening inactively

– Not observing one’s body language Communicating in the uncomfortable manner. Tending to resist any message in contrast with

self belief or assumption Jumping to conclusion. Not asking question to make clear when not

understanding any point.

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Part 3Para-verbal Communication

“I didn’t say you were stupid”

“I didn’t say you were stupid!”

“I didn’t say you were stupid!”

The Power of PitchThe Truth About ToneThe Strength of Speed

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The Power of Pitch

People will pick up on the pitch of your voice and react to it.

A high pitch is often interpreted as anxious or upset.

A low pitch sounds more serious and authoritative.

The variation in the pitch of your voice is important to keep the other party interested.

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The Truth About Tone

Tips:– Trying lowering the pitch of your voice a bit– Smile! This will warm up anyone’s voice– Sitting up straight and listen – Monitoring your inner monologue– Negative thinking will seep into the tone of

your voice

Communicating over the telephone, 84% of communication is vocal and 16% is verbal!

Source: “Communication Factors” Book, Peterson, Russ, and K. Karschnik

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The Strength of Speed

Speed can affect :– Your listener’s level interest– The comprehensibility of your

message– Your tone and pitch

Tips:– Trying speak slowly and clearly.– Smile! This will help you keep calm.– Monitoring your speaking speed.– Nervousness will impact to you

strength of speed.

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Part 4Non-Verbal Communication

Using Body Language Effectively Expressing Messages by Body Language

Body Language

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Using Body Language Effectively

Body Lan-guage; 54%

Voice; 39%

Words; 7%

Power of Body Language in Communication

Source: www.voiceworks.co.za/

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Expressing Messages by Body Language

Eyes Face Body Posture

Hair Clothing Cosmetics Accessories and jewelry

Gesture Touch Space

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Body LanguageStanding - Sitting

Sitting hunched over typically– Stress– Discomfort

Leaning back when standing or sitting– Casual– Relaxed demeanor

Standing ramrod straight typically– Stiffness– Anxiety

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Crossed arms and legs often– Closed mind

Body LanguageHands, Arms, Feet, Legs

Fidgeting– Boredom– Nervousness

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SmilesFrownsRaised eyebrow

– Inquisitiveness – Curiosity– Disbelief

Chewing lips– Thinking– Boredom– Anxiety or nervousness

Body LanguageFacial Expressions

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Part 5STAR Speaking

Help send message clearly, completely, correctly and concisely !

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STARSituation – Task – Action - Result

Situation

• Stating what the situation is. • Where? Who? When?

Task

• Stating what your task was. • What?• Why?

Action

• Stating what you did to resolve the problem.• How?

Result

• Stating what the result was.• Using a combination of the six roots (Who? What? When?

Where? Why? How?)

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Part 6Listening Skills

The Power of ListeningGripes About ManagersCategories of Listeners

Barriers to Effective Listening

Active ListeningActive Listening TipsActive Listening and Interactive Management

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Listening; 45%

Speaking; 30%

Reading; 16%

Writing; 9%

Communication

Source: Dr. Lyman K. Steil in “You are the Message” Book

What is your communication rate ?

The Power of Listening

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Gripes About Managers

“My manager does all the talking; I go in with a problem and never have a chance to open my mouth”

“He interrupts me when I talk”

“She never looks at me when I talk. She takes care of her laptop. I’m not sure she’s listening.”

“His facial expression makes me feel I’m wasting his time.”

“My manager sits too close to me.”

“His phone call interrupts my presentation”

“My manager is too easily distracted from

listening to me and my problem.”

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Categories of Listeners

The non-listenerThe marginal

listenerEvaluative

listenerThe active

listener

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Barriers to Effective Listening

Motivation and Attitude. Lack of concentration and attention. Negative attitude toward listening. Experience and Background. Poor listening setting. Emotions. Daydreaming and Fantasizing. Delivery. Lack of listening skills.

By nature, the act of hearing, perceiving, and retaining spoken information that we call listening is an inefficient process

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Active Listening

Understanding active listening1. Trying to identify where the other person

is coming from. 2. Listening to what is being said closely and

attentively.3. Responding appropriately, either non-

verbally with a question or by paraphrasing.

Sending good signals to others– Showing your body language– “uh-huh”, “mm-hmmm”, “wow” – Asking open questions & summary

question.

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Active Listening Tips (1)

1. Remember that it is possible to listen and talk at the same time.

2. Listen for the speaker’s main ideas.3. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.4. Fight off distractions.5. Try not to get angry.6. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important.7. Let your employees tell their own stories first.8. Empathize with your employees.9. Withhold judgment.10. React to the message, not to the person.

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Active Listening Tips (2)

11. Try to appreciate the emotion behind the speaker’s words (vocal and visual messages) more than the literal meaning of the words.

12. Use feedback.13. Listen selectively.14. Relax.15. Try not to be critical, either mentally or verbally, of someone else’s

point of view, even if it is different from your own.16. Listen attentively.17. To the degree that it is in your power, try to create a positive

listening environment.18. Ask questions.19. Be motivated to listen.

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Active Listening and Interactive Management

Listening isn’t take a secondary position to speaking, but as important as other communication skills.– When no listens, it is pointless to speak.

Members feel relieved when they find managers who understand what they have to say about their problems.– Truly understand your members by actively

listening to them, they will most likely reciprocate by listening to you and trying to understand your point of view.

If you are really willing to learn how to listen, it will take a lot of hard work to learn the skills, and constant practice to keep them in shape!

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Ask the right questions at the right time to help her/his members best is an essential

and integral part of interactive management.

One of the most critical and valuable tools in the manager’s communication

skills is her/his art of questioning.

Part 7Questioning Techniques

Open QuestionsClosed Questions

Probing QuestionsFunnel Technique

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Open Questions

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Closed Questions

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Probing Questions

Clarification

Completeness and Correctness

Determining Relevance

Drilling Down

Summarizing

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Funnel Technique

‘Tell me how you went about…?’ (open) ‘How did you prepare?’ (open – secondary) ‘What was your starting point?’ (probe) ‘So, what happened next?’ (probe) ‘Who else was involved?’ (probe) ‘And how did they respond?’ (probe) ‘What were your thoughts at that stage?’ (probe) ‘What were the main outcomes?’ (probe) ‘So, that took a total of six weeks?’ (closed –

clarifying) ‘Was it your idea or someone else’s?’ (closed –

clarifying) ‘And the patient made a full recovery?’ (closed –

clarifying) ‘So, let me see if I’ve followed you…’ (checking –

summary)

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Part 8Providing Feedback

Using Feedback EffectivelyFeedback: Place and Time

Feedback ApproachesThe Feedback Sandwich

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Using Feedback Effectively

Types of feedback– Verbal or written feedback– Fact feedback– Feeling feedback

Using feedback effectively– Giving and getting definitions– Don’t assume– Asking questions– Speaking the same language– Keeping tuned it– Withholding feedback

Giving feedback on the behavior, not the person!

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Feedback: Place and Time

Place– Somewhere quiet, like an office or meeting

room Time

– The feedback needs to come as soon as possible after the event.

– If a person has done something that violates a given rule, you may have to act immediately.

• Making sure you can control your own emotions so you will avoid saying something that you might later regret.

• Applying non-violent communication.

Recognition or reward should be given in public, but a negative feedback needs to keep in private!

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Feedback Approaches

Informal feedback– Recognizing something that has been

learned and properly applied to the workplace, or offering a small reward for overall performance.

Formal feedback– Being often used with certain benchmarks

and at certain times of the year.

360-degree performance– A tool solicits feedback from people within

a 360-degree radius of the team member

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The Feedback Sandwich

Make a specific positive commentOffer critique or suggestions for improvementMake an overall positive comment

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Part 9Networking Skills

Making a First ImpressionEffective Introduction3C ProjectingMaking a Handshake

Using Business CardsOrganizing Your Contact List4-Stage Effective Short ConversationMinimizing Nervousness

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Making a First Impression

Well prepared– Dress code– Name card– Route to the meeting location– The discussion topic and the

people will meet.Effective introduction3C Projecting

– Confidence – Competence - Credibility

When you’re networking, it’s important to make the best of the first meeting.

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Effective Introduction

• Mind your body language• Warm handshake

Projecting warmth and confidence.

• “Good morning! I’m John Live, sales executive of TrainingStore company.”

• Giving your name card.

Stating your full name, position and company.

• “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. John Live”• Repeating their name is an acknowledgment that you heard

their introduction

Repeating the name of the other person when greeting.

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Projecting Confidence

Straight - relaxed postureHolding your head high and

steady– Don’t slouch or slump.

Moving in a natural, unaffected manner

Maintaining eye contact with the people you are talking to

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Projecting Competence

Exhibiting your knowledge– Knowing the agenda and the

meeting topics.– Being prepared for the meeting.– Preparing supportive materials to

emphasize your points. Answering questions clearly and

asking relevant questionsAvoiding the use of slang or

technical jargon.

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Projecting Credibility

Being on time.

Being presentable.

– Groomed and dress codes.

Keeping true to your word and your body language.

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Making a Handshake

Beginning with a greeting and self-introduction Handshaking

– Pump your hand only 2-3 times.– Shake from your elbow.– Do not use a forceful grip.– Avoid offering a “fish hand” or “lady fingers”.– One hand is better than two.

Ending a handshake– Should end before the oral introduction exchange

does. Covering your mistakes

– If you are worried that your handshake did not convey the right message about yourself, simply change the focus of the moment by offering a quick compliment or asking the other person a question.

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Tips:1. Always keeping your business cards

within you. 2. Being active: Timing the presentation of

your card.3. Handing a card when

• At the beginning of the meeting• At the networking time• You’re asked• You’re asked to repeat your name• Someone asks to send you something• At the end of the meeting

4. Explaining what you can offer them. 5. Showing the other person that you value

their card.

Using Business Cards

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Organizing Your Contact List

Using tools: Name card holder, Outlook, Google, etc.

Reviewing your new contacts after each networking time.– Updating your contact list

– Making detail notes for interesting contacts.

Dropping a connecting thank-you email to connected person.

Reviewing your contact list periodically.

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4-StageEffective Short Conversation

• Talking about generic topics, subjects that almost everyone is comfortable discussing.

• Establishing rapport.

1. Small TalkExchange-of-

pleasantries stage

• Telling the other person some facts about you, your job, your interests, etc.

• Aiming to see if you have something in common with the other person.

2. Fact Disclosure Getting-to-know stage

• Offering what you think about various topics like politics, education, the new business model.

3. Viewpoints and Opinions

“Buffering effect” stage

• Disclosure and acknowledgment of personal feelings.• Requiring trust, rapport, and even a genuine friendship,

because of the intimate nature of the subject.4. Personal Feelings

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Minimizing Nervousness

Tips:1. Be informed.2. Read ! Read! Read!3. Practice! Practice! Practice!4. Learning relaxation techniques. There are many activities that can help

relax a nervous person. These activities include: a) Meditationb) Self-talkc) Visualization d) Breathing exercisese) Listening to music

5. Identifying your triggers6. Believing in what you have to offer!

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Part 10Non-Violent Communication

Marshall Rosenberg

Non-violent Communication ProcessFour Steps To Express AngerTranslating ‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’

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Non-violent Communication Process

Four steps:1. Actions we observe that affect our well-being2. How we feel in relation to what we observe3. The needs, values and desires that create our feelings4. Actions we request in order to enrich our lives

Nguyen, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the table and another three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the rooms that we share in common. Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine?

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Four Steps To Express Anger

Four Steps To Express Anger1. Stop and breathe2. Identify our judgmental thoughts3. Connect with our needs4. Express our feelings and unmet needs

Four options when hearing a difficult message:

1. Blame ourselves2. Blame others

3. Sense our own feelings and needs4. Sense others’ feelings and needs

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Translating ‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’

Step 1

• List all those things, activities that:• You tell yourself you have to do• You dread but do anyway because you perceive

yourself to have no choice.

Step 2

• Insert the words “I choose to . . . ” in front of each item you listed

Step 3

• Intention behind your choice by completing the statement, “I choose to . . . because I want . . . .”

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Thank You!

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