pound predators - university of toronto t-space pre… · the room is filled with bright balloons....

POUND PREDATORS

(A One-Act Play)

by

Tara Goldstein

Tara Goldstein2181 Yonge StreetUnit 503Toronto, OntarioM4S [email protected]

Pound Predators Draft 6 July 17, 2007 (post-fringe) 1

Characters1

WORRIED MOTHER: Well-groomed and dressed in smart work clothes, she’s asize 12 who wants to be a size 8 and fashionably slim. Seesherself as a caring mother who takes an interest in herdaughter’s wellbeing, but is seen by some as being way toointerested in her daughter’s weight.

FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER: An attractive, independent-thinking “baby dyke” who

comes to Pound Predators meetings because of a deal thatshe made with her mother who attends the meetings withher. She is a size 16 and has a Goth-lite look, which caninclude ripped black fishnet stockings or striped socksunder a short or medium length black skirt; black boots orblack shoes; long straight, black hair that’s been dyed,heavy black eye-liner, purple or dark pink eye shadow andred lipstick. Seen by WORRIED MOTHER to be upset byher weight, she is more comfortable inside her body thanher mother thinks.

THE AWARD-WINNINGLEADER: A former ballet dancer, she now works as a Pound

Predators Pack leader. At size 8, she is fashionably slimand favours clothing with a leopard motif: leopard shoes,leopard scarves, and leopard blouses.

BIG GIRL MODEL: Glamorous and impeccably made-up she, models clothesthat fit larger-sized women and comes to meetings wearingthe expensive clothes and shoes she advertises. Confidentabout her sex appeal, she is seen as very sexy by others.

THE WISE WEIGHER: A dedicated player of the Pound Predators team, she isknown by members to be cheerful and encouraging at thescale. She lost twenty pounds several years ago but gainedback thirty since then. Now a size 20, she wants to be a size14, but is finding it difficult this second time around.

1 The weight of the characters in the character description is meant as a guide only. Theactual weights of the actors playing the characters are to be used in the play.


PROMOTION-SEEKINGWOMAN: Seeking a promotion to partner of the law firm she works

at, she comes to Pound Predators to lose weight becauseher life-coach believes her weight will stand in the wayeven though she is highly qualified for the position she’sapplying for. Angry about the discrimination she facesbecause of her body size, she is seen as by THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER as someone who is extremelynegative. Arrives to meetings in office wear she buys at Bigand Beautiful.

SettingA Pound Predators Meeting RoomThe Present

At rise2:The room is filled with bright balloons. Centre stage, there is a row of four chairs. At theend of the row, stage left, there is a podium where THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERstands when she begins each meeting. There is a weigh-in table stage right with a scalefor members to step on at the side of the table and a chair behind the table for THE WISEWEIGHER to sit on. Upstage right, behind the THE WISE WEIGHER’s table, there is ascreen. Once the play begins, the screen is used for projecting PowerPoint slides duringthe meetings.

Downstage left, there is a table filled with Pound Predators products. Predators productsinclude copies of the Pound Predators magazine, boxes of various Pound Predatorssnacks, booklets entitled SHOTS GUIDE and EXERCISE GUIDE. If possible, the seatsfor the audience should be set up in such a way that members of the audience feel thatthey are part of the meeting.

At each meeting, The Predator of the Month is featured in a PowerPoint slidepresentation that accompanies the meetings. The pictures of the predators should be cuteand work with the bright balloons to produce a cheery, celebratory feel of the meetingroom. The predators have been appropriated and domesticated for the business of weightloss.

There is a juxtaposition of the cheery, celebratory feel of Pound Predators meetingscarried by the bright tone of THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER, the appropriatedpredator imagery, the clapping for people who had some success losing weight with thelanguage associated with the “War against Weight”.

2 The following is director’s Jocelyn Wickett’s staging from the Toronto FringeProduction in July 2007.


Scene 1: September

(Lights up on the meeting room. There’s a PowerPoint slide projected on thescreen. It has the words WELCOME TO POUND PREDATORS, SEPTEMBER, and alarge graphic of a shark. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER is at her podiumand THE WISE WEIGHER is sitting behind the weigh-in table. WORRIEDMOTHER and FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER are sitting in the last twochairs of the row, nearest the podium. WORRIED MOTHER sits closest to THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER and flips through the latest issue of the PoundPredators magazine. FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER sits beside WORRIEDMOTHER listening to her iPod. BIG GIRL MODEL sits beside FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER.)

WORRIED MOTHER(Closes the magazine, taps FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER on the shoulder) I can’tstand it anymore. How did you do?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWhat?

WORRIED MOTHER(Louder) How did you do?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERI can’t hear you.

WORRIED MOTHER(Pulls one of the earphone out of FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER’s ear) I said, howdid you do?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Puts the earphone back in her ear) Fine.

WORRIED MOTHERFine?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERFine.

WORRIED MOTHERHow fine?

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER ignores her.)


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Excited, calls out from the podium) She’s down. Two point four. For a total of fivepoint eight.

WORRIED MOTHERFive point eight! That’s fantastic! It must be because school’s started. I give her thesame standard breakfast and the same standard lunch so when she gets back from schoolshe’s only used up nine shots. That leaves eleven for the evening.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWell it seems to be working! (Looks at her watch) Time to get started. (Upbeat,cheerful) Welcome everyone. It’s good to see you here. (To BIG GIRL MODEL) I see anew face this evening. Welcome to Pound Predators! Could you introduce yourself?

BIG GIRL MODELI’m Big Girl Model.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAnd I’m The Award-Winning Leader. All the leaders at Pound Predators have beenthrough the program themselves. We’re still on the program. We’re still living this andit’s our job to help you win the War against Weight.

(A new slide is projected onto the screen. It says POUND PREDATOR PACK 596SUPPORTS YOU IN THE WAR AGAINST WEIGHT.)

I want you to know you’ve joined a particularly successful pack of Pound Predators.Collectively, the members of Pack 596 have lost more weight than the members of anypack in the region. For two years in a row!

(WORRIED MOTHER and THE WISE WEIGHER clap.)It’s a real honour for me to be recognized as the leader of Pack of the Year and I’vedecided to go for a hat trick. I know that by working together Pack 596 will win again!

(WORRIED MOTHER and THE WISE WEIGHER clap.)I like to welcome our new members to the meeting by telling them my own story. Ijoined Pound Predators after recovering from a dance injury that kept me off my feet andin bed for 12 weeks.

BIG GIRL MODELI thought you looked familiar! You used to dance for City Ballet, didn’t you?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Pleased to be recognized) Yes, that’s right.

BIG GIRL MODELI’m sorry to hear about your injury.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERThank you. It was a set back, but not for long! (Continues her story) When I was finallyallowed out of bed 12 weeks later, I was 15 pounds overweight and desperate. So Ijoined Pound Predators. Because I couldn’t work out in the way I used to, it took sixmonths to lose the weight. But I did it. I decided that I would follow every piece ofadvice my pack leader gave me and do exactly what the program asked me to do. I kepttrack of the shots I used up everyday, made sure to find time to exercise – moderately, soI wouldn’t re-injure myself – and I never missed a Pound Predators meeting. The last fivepounds took a while to come off. But I never missed a meeting. I had faith that if I cameto every single meeting and did every single thing my pack leader told me to do I’d loseevery single pound I wanted to. And I did. On the day I reached my goal weight mypack leader told me that I was an inspiration to everyone in the room. That I was livingproof that once you know how to lose weight, you can lose weight. Every single poundyou want to lose. That’s when I decided to become a pack leader myself. So I couldinspire others to accomplish what I had accomplished. If I could do it, you can do it too.Let’s chant. Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds. C’mon everyone. Preyon Pounds.

(WORRIED MOTHER, a little embarrassed, joins in. FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER rolls her eyes, shakes her head and looks down at the floor. THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER comes out from behind the podium and claps herhands.)

Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds.(BIG GIRL MODEL joins in, clapping her hands.)

Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Clapping her hands) One last time. With the howl. Prey on pounds. Prey on pounds.Prey on pounds.

(She leads the pack in a howl.)Very good!

(Everyone except FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER claps.)Now for the benefit of our new pack member let me remind you how the competition forPack of the Year works. (To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) Can you hear me?

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER rolls her eyes and takes out the earphones.)Good. Every week, The Wise Weigher keeps track of the weight the whole pack loses.To be eligible, 80% of the members of our pack must lose weight. If less than 80% of thepack has lost weight during the past week, the pack is eliminated. Then every week, atthe Pack Leaders’ meeting, we find out the ranking of each eligible pack. (Pauses fordramatic effect) Here’s how we’re doing. (Pauses for dramatic effect) Three weeks intothe competition, I am delighted to report that Pack 596 is in first place!

(A new slide is projected on the screen. It says POUND PREDATOR PACK 596.WE’RE NUMBER 1! Everyone except FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER claps.)

Now all we have to do is stay there! So let’s talk. Is this a good time of year for you?Or a bad time? At this time of year, what works? What’s manageable? What’s not?

(WORRIED MOTHER raises her hand.)


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYes. (Points) Worried Mother.

WORRIED MOTHEREverything’s manageable except for the ice cream.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER slinks into her chair.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERSo how do you deal with it?

WORRIED MOTHERI don’t bring it home. When I do, it’s low fat one percent vanilla. It’s not really icecream. We won’t eat too much of it.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERSo ice cream is a red-light food for you two.

WORRIED MOTHERDefinitely.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat are other red-light foods?

(No response from anyone.)(Looks at THE WISE WEIGHER) What’s a red light food for you?

THE WISE WEIGHERChocolate.

(Murmur of agreement from WORRIED MOTHER.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Nods) Chocolate. That’s one of mine.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Calls out in a loud voice) Cookies. Especially when they’re chocolate chip andhomemade.

(Soft laughter from everyone except FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER.)

WORRIED MOTHER(Calls out) Chips.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER slinks further into her chair.)


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Nods) Chocolate, cookies, chips. So what do we do about red-light foods? Somepeople decide not to bring them into the house. So, what can you keep in the house?

WORRIED MOTHERDo you mean what legal treats do we keep in the house?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYes.

WORRIED MOTHERCanned fruit. Without sugar.

(Lights fade and a spotlight comes up on BIG GIRL MODEL who swivels in herchair to face the audience and stands up. The slide of the September Predator ofthe Month, the shark, reappears on the screen.)

BIG GIRL MODEL(Sassy) What kind of treat is canned fruit without sugar? Treats are supposed to havesugar. That’s why they’re called treats. Who’s ever heard of a legal treat? Treats are notsupposed to be legal. (Beat, sigh) But this is what I signed up for. Legal treats. The kindthat will let me fit into a size _____ 3 by January. My sister swears that Pound Predatorsworks. (Beat) It has to work. I only have four months to lose 34 pounds. (Confident,proud) Personally, I think I look great. And there are lots of women who are bigger thanI am. Size _____4 is not all that big. But if I don’t come down from a _____ to a(n)_____, the agency will terminate my contract5. Apparently, even Big Girl Models can betoo big. To be quite honest, I was shocked. I’m one of the agency’s most popular modelsand I didn’t see it coming. But it is what it is. So I’m trading my gorgeous Godiva milkchocolate in for tinned fruit. Without the sugar.

(The spotlight fades and BIG GIRL MODEL sits down.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat else is working or not working for you now that you’re back at school?

WORRIED MOTHEROn the way home from school, all my Freedom-Seeking Daughter’s friends go to theSeven Eleven. What can she buy that doesn’t use up too many shots?

3 A clothes size that is the three sizes smaller than the size of the actor playing Big GirlModel.4 The clothes size of the actor playing Big Girl Model.5 The clothes size of the actor playing Big Girl Model and Big Girl Model’s goal size,which is three sizes smaller.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERBuy a box of Pound Predators Snack Bars. We have two kinds: peanut and raisin.They’re only two shots a bar. (To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) You keep one inyour knapsack so when your friends are at the Seven Eleven you can pull something legalout of your bag. Power planning, like keeping a legal treat in your knapsack, is a goodstrategy in the War against Weight. Power planning keeps you in control. (Beat) Who’scelebrating a milestone this evening?

WORRIED MOTHER(Raises her hand, excited) My daughter. (Beat) She’s lost five pounds.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERFive pounds. Let’s give her a big hand.

(Everyone claps. FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER, embarrassed, looks at thefloor. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER takes a shark sticker and a bookmarkfrom the box on her podium and walks over to FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER.)

And a hand for Worried Mother who supports her in the War against Weight.(Everyone claps.)

Here’s your bookmark and Predator sticker.(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER reluctantly looks up from the floor andtakes the bookmark and sticker. Everyone claps again.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Walking back to the podium, in a tone to inspire) Five pounds is an important milestone.It’s small enough to be achievable but big enough to boost your confidence that you canlose weight. So for the first five pounds you lose, you receive a Pound Predatorsbookmark and a predator sticker. This month we’re giving out shark stickers in honourof our predator of the month, the shark. For every additional five pounds you lose, youreceive another predator to place on your bookmark. (To FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER) So when did you begin the program?

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER is looking down at the floor again anddoesn’t answer.)

WORRIED MOTHERFour weeks ago.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAnd what helped her lose five pounds?

WORRIED MOTHERHaving lots of safe low-shot snacks around.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER


(Nods) Power planning. What’s your favorite Pound Predators snack?

WORRIED MOTHERThe Salsa corn chips.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERMouthfuls. I like Mouthfuls too. Mouthfuls are only available at Pound Predatorsmeetings. You can pick up a box after the meeting. (To FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER) They’re crunchy just like regular potato chips.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Looks up) But the bag is so small!

(WORRIED MOTHER sighs. BIG GIRL MODEL laughs.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Undaunted) That’s why they’re only two shots per packet. (Beat) Let’s talk for amoment about negative thinking. A comment like “The bag is so small” is an example ofnegative thinking.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER slinks into her chair.)Who heard themselves say something negative this week?

THE WISE WEIGHERI did.

(Murmurs of surprise. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER is also surprised, butquickly recovers.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat did you say?

THE WISE WEIGHER“This is too hard.”

(Murmur of sympathy from BIG GIRL MODEL.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Covers up the “faux pas”) Even Pound Predators pack assistants have negative thoughtsonce in a while. Why did you think, “This is too hard”?

THE WISE WEIGHERAt my weigh-in today I gained three pounds. (Upset) I can’t understand it. I kept trackof the shots I used every single day this week. I counted everything. Everything I ate,everything I drank. I made sure I drank eight glasses of water everyday. I walked 40minutes every day and went swimming twice last week so I could save bonus shots formy daughter’s birthday dinner. And then I only ate a small piece of the chocolate cakethat I made – only the amount I had saved up for – and I only ate it the night of her


birthday. I didn’t take any home with me. I did everything right. Everything. I reallyexpected to lose this week. But I gained three pounds. (Tearful) It took me a month tolose those three pounds. Now I’m back to where I was two months ago. (Beat,miserable) I feel like jumping off a bridge.

BIG GIRL MODELThat’s terrible!

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Quick) Sometimes we’re not rewarded at the scale for all our hard work. That’s when wethink that “this is too hard”, “we’re losing the battle”. And that’s when some of us giveup. It’s important not to give up! (To THE WISE WEIGHER) How could you changeyour negative thought into something positive?

THE WISE WEIGHER(Miserable) I don’t know.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Bright) How about this? “I didn’t lose any weight this week, but look at how much I’vealready lost on the program.”

(Murmur of approval from WORRIED MOTHER.)Tell us how much weight you’ve lost.

THE WISE WEIGHERThis second time around? Five pounds.

(WORRIED MOTHER and THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER clap.)In six months.

BIG GIRL MODEL(In dismay) Five pounds in six months?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat’s important is that you’re five pounds less than when you started. You know youcan do it. And you know how to do it. You can tell yourself, “I can be any weight I wantto be. It’s not too hard.” But you need support. We all need support. Who helps us inour battle against weight? Who supports us?

(No one answers.)In my family, it’s my mother. Every Sunday night my mother cooks dinner for the wholefamily. The first Sunday morning I was on Pound Predators she called me up and askedme what my favorite legal meal was. I told her Dijon chicken, asparagus and salad. Nopotatoes. That’s what she cooked. For everyone.

(Murmur of approval from WORRIED MOTHER.)My mother’s very proud of my accomplishments at Pound Predators. She came to bothPack Leader of the Year award ceremonies and is looking forward to buying to a newdress for the third!

(MOTHER laughs politely.)


So the support we get from our family is very important. What are some of the waysyour family supports you? How does your family help you in your battle to lose weight?

(A spotlight comes up on WORRIED MOTHER and FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER who both stand up and walk to upstage centre standing several feetapart from each other.)

WORRIED MOTHERHow? I’ll tell you how. I sign my daughter up and go to every single meeting with her. Imake her legal breakfasts, legal lunches, and legal dinners. Not just Sunday night. Everynight.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERNever mind how. (Imitates THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) Let’s talk about why.Why does my mother support me? (In her own voice) I’ll tell you why. Because shedoesn’t like the way I dress. Because she thinks if I could fit into the clothes from theGAP and ROOTS then I wouldn’t dress like this. (Beat) But she’s wrong. I like dressinglike this. Even if I could fit into a pair of pastel Capri pants, I would never buy them.

WORRIED MOTHERBack to school shopping was a nightmare. Even the Extra Large sizes wouldn’t fit. Andthey don’t carry anything bigger than Extra Large. We went everywhere. The Gap,Garage, Club Monaco. Old Navy, Roots, Jacob. H & M, Le Chateau, Levis. Nothing fit.After Athlete’s World, we gave up and went for lunch. When she came back from thebathroom I knew she’d been crying. Nothing’s worse than having nothing decent to wearto school. Kids can be so cruel. So I caved. I gave her money to shop at the secondhand stores downtown. In exchange for six months at Pound Predators.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERI caved. I needed something to wear to school and this was the only way to get what Iwanted.

WORRIED MOTHEROf course, when she came home and showed me what she bought, I hated everything.I’m embarrassed when she leaves the house to go to school. I know the neighbours arewondering what kind of mother am I to let my daughter dress like that. But I see it asshort-term pain for long-term gain. Once she loses some weight, she’ll be able to shopanywhere and she won’t have to go to the second hand store.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERShe hated everything I bought. She doesn’t understand I dress this way because it’s fun.Different. A little scary, too. Wearing clothes like this can be intimidating. It can keeppeople away. It keeps the boys away. (Beat) What she doesn’t know is that there’s a hallin our school where a particularly nasty group of boys hang out. What she doesn’t knowis that the boys make comments about all the girls who have to walk in front of them.They give a number out to each of the girls when they walk by. One means you are dog.Ten means you’re hot. Girls who are nine’s and ten’s wear size six jeans and tight tee


shirts that show off their boobs. Before we started dressing this way, when my friendBrenda and I walked down the hall, the boys would shout out “one” and begin barkinglike dogs. We could hear their barking all the way down the hall. But now they leave usalone. We’re too weird. So if I have to listen to the dance lady talk about Mouthfuls forsix months, it’s a small price to pay. Now, the boys leave us alone.

WORRIED MOTHERShe says it’s fun to shop in the second hand shops downtown. She goes through theracks, one by one, looking for something that’s just the right size for her. Something thatwill match just perfectly with what she bought at the shop down the street. Then there’sthe make-up. You have to choose just the right shade of red lipstick. Some reds are moreorange. Some are bluer. You have to choose the right one. (Beat) But I don’t believe it.If it’s all so much fun, then why does she look so unhappy? I can’t stand seeing her lookunhappy. Once she loses enough weight to fit into smaller clothes, she’ll start feelingbetter about herself. Maybe she’ll even get a date to the prom. So she doesn’t have to goalone with her girlfriends. All I want is for her to be happy. Girls who dress like thisaren’t happy. They’re depressed.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERShe thinks I’m depressed. But I’m not. I know how to take care of myself. Not onlydon’t those boys bark at us anymore, they don’t even look at us. I just need some space.To do what I have to do. My way. This is my last year of high school. Then my life willreally begin. I have plans. Big plans. I don’t need to get a date to the prom. Brenda andI decided we aren’t going to the prom. And I don’t want to come here. But a deal’s a deal.I’m 15.7 pounds away from the goal weight they gave me. Fifteen point seven poundsaway from Maintenance. After Maintenance, I’m free. Maintenance free.

(The spotlight on WORRIED MOTHER and FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERfades and they sit down. Lights fade.)

Scene 2: October

(Lights up. There is a PowerPoint slide is on the screen with the wordsWELCOME TO POUND PREDATORS, OCTOBER and a large graphic of a hawk.THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER is looking over her notes at the podium andTHE WISE WEIGHER is sitting behind the weigh-in table organizing herpaperwork.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Looks up at the weigh-in table) Can I tell you a story before people start arriving?

THE WISE WEIGHER(Looks up from her paperwork) Sure.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhen I first began dancing on toe shoes, I was just a kid and I thought it was too hard.My toes were always bruised or bleeding and my feet were always sore. But I never,never admitted it to anyone. That would have been the end of my dream of becoming adancer. Once my best friend at ballet school asked to leave rehearsal because the bigblister on her heel was killing her. They kicked her out of the show. We were in TheNutcracker and it was going to be her first professional performance. I learned then, younever tell anyone that something hurts. Or that it’s too hard. Ever.

THE WISE WEIGHER(Soft) Right.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERIt sounds really bad when one of the pack leaders says that the program is “too hard”.

THE WISE WEIGHERI’m sorry. It just slipped out. I got caught up in the talk last week.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERJust make sure it doesn’t happen again. Our pack numbers are down. We aren’t in firstplace anymore. We’re in second. We’ve got to get those numbers up if we’re going towin Pack of the Year.

(Spotlight on THE WISE WEIGHER who stands up and turns to face theaudience.)

THE WISE WEIGHERNever tell anyone that something hurts. All over the world there are women not tellinganyone that it hurts. Instead they eat. Like the woman who had a father who liked totease her. He’d tease her about her nose (it was quite long). He’d tease her about herbreasts (they were quite small). And he’d tease her about her bum (it was quite flat).During the day she laughed at his teasing. But at night, she’d reach for the chocolatestashed under her bed. She never told him that the teasing hurt. Ever.

(The spotlight fades and THE WISE WEIGHER sits down.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAre you ready to go?

THE WISE WEIGHERReady.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERGood.

(BIG GIRL MODEL enters from downstage right. She is holding an applicationform and walks over the weigh-in table.)


Hello there. Welcome back!

BIG GIRL MODELThanks.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Points to the weigh-in table) The Wise Weigher will weigh you in.

BIG GIRL MODELOkay.

(She walks over to the weigh-in table. During BIG GIRL MODEL’S weigh-in,THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER listens closely to what THE WISE WEIGHERis saying.)

THE WISE WEIGHER(Warm) Hi. Do you have your booklet?

BIG GIRL MODELUh, no. I didn’t weigh in last week. I just sat in on the meeting. To try it out. But I’vedecided to sign up

THE WISE WEIGHERGood for you!

BIG GIRL MODELThanks. (Hands her the application form) Here’s my form. It’s all filled out.

THE WISE WEIGHER(Takes the form) Okay. Take off your shoes then step up on the scale. I’ll record yourstarting weight on this member card and in this little booklet. You take the booklet homewith you, but bring it back every time you weigh-in so that we can keep track of yourprogress.

BIG GIRL MODELAll right. (Kicks off her pumps) I’m a little nervous. I haven’t weighed myself for a longtime.

THE WISE WEIGHER(Secretive) I’m nervous every time I have to step on the scale. Just take a deep breathand step up.

(BIG GIRL MODEL takes a deep breath and steps onto the scale.)


THE WISE WEIGHER _____6

BIG GIRL MODEL(Gasps) What?

THE WISE WEIGHER(Writes the weight down and hands her the booklet) _____7.

(Shocked, BIG GIRL MODEL puts on her shoes and quickly struts over to herseat. She’s breathing heavily and takes a few seconds to catch her breath. Thenshe gets up and returns to the scale.)

BIG GIRL MODELCan I try again? There must be some mistake.

THE WISE WEIGHER(Kind) Sure. A little higher than you expected?

BIG GIRL MODELMuch higher!

(She takes off her shoes. And her watch. And her rings. And her belt. Then stepsback on the scale.)

THE WISE WEIGHER ______8. Would you like me to change it on your booklet?

BIG GIRL MODEL(Miserable) No, don’t bother.

(Steps off the scale. Gathers up her belt, watch and puts her rings back on.)I guess that’s why my doctor is worried about diabetes.

THE WISE WEIGHERDiabetes! You look too young to have diabetes.

BIG GIRL MODELI’m 34.

THE WISE WEIGHERIs it in the family?

6 The approximate weight of the actor playing Big Girl Model.7 The approximate weight of the actor playing Big Girl Model.8 Big Girl Model’s weight without the jewellery and the belt, which is .3 of a pound lessthan the weight she is with the jewelry and the belt.


BIG GIRL MODELMy father had it. Diabetes and hypertension. (Beat) He died of congestive heart failure at65.

THE WISE WEIGHEROh, I’m sorry to hear that.

BIG GIRL MODELThanks. I adored him. We had something special going on. And he was a great support.Came to all of my shows. (Beat) You know something? I think I’m heavier than myfather was when he died. (Panics) I’m heavier than my dad!

THE WISE WEIGHER(Reassuring) Hey, you’re only 34. You can turn things around. Now that you’re here,you’ll turn things around.

(THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER nods her head.)BIG GIRL MODEL

You think so?

THE WISE WEIGHERAbsolutely. I’m a nurse and I’ve seen lots of people turn it around. You will too.

BIG GIRL MODELThanks for the vote of confidence.

THE WISE WEIGHER(Warm) You’re welcome. That’s what we’re all here for. To turn it around. (Soft) Tostop beating ourselves up.

(Lights fade.)

Scene 3: November

(Lights up. A PowerPoint slide is on the screen with the words WELCOME TOPOUND PREDATORS, NOVEMBER and a large graphic of a panther. THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER and THE WISE WEIGHER are behind the weigh-indesk doing some paper work. The women are in their seats waiting for themeeting to begin. BIG GIRL MODEL and WORRIED MOTHER are reading aPOUND PREDATORS magazine. PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN is sittingnext to BIG GIRL MODEL looking at her POUND PREDATOR materials inconfusion. FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER is listening to her iPod andsinging loudly to the lyrics.)


WORRIED MOTHER(Shakes FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER’s shoulder, loud) You’re singing too loud.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER stops singing). (Still loud) Everyone can hear you.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTEREveryone can hear me?

(BIG GIRL MODEL laughs.)

WORRIED MOTHER(To BIG GIRL MODEL) I can’t wait until we reach goal.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Laughs again) I hear ya.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN(Taps BIG GIRL MODEL on the shoulder) Excuse me.

(BIG GIRL MODEL turns to face her.)I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m having trouble figuring how this shot system works.(Crabby) This whole thing’s very difficult to follow.

BIG GIRL MODELDo you know how many shots you’re allowed every day?

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANTwenty-eight.

WORRIED MOTHERTwenty-eight! Lucky you. I’m only allowed twenty.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN(Crabby) I don’t feel very lucky.

WORRIED MOTHER(Embarrassed) Sorry.

BIG GIRL MODELWhat you need to do is keep track of the shots for everything you eat and drink and makesure you don’t use more than 28 shots a day. You keep track in the weekly shots journalthey give you when you weigh in each week.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANHow do you know how many shots things are?


WORRIED MOTHERYou need to buy the SHOTS GUIDE book. They sell them at The Products Table. (Points)Over there.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN(Crabby) Of course, you have to buy the SHOTS GUIDE book. (Beat) Why do they callthem shots?

BIG GIRL MODEL(Grins) We’re at war, honey. The War against Weight. And there’s a limited supply ofammo to go ‘round.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN(Sighs) And how do you know when you’ve won?

BIG GIRL MODELWhen you hit Goal Weight and maintain it for two months. But you never really win.It’s a life-long battle.

(Spotlight on PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN who stands up and turns to facethe audience.)

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANNo, you never win. Here I am, once again, sitting on a plastic chair that’s way too smallfor me, waiting to listen to the leopard lady lecture me on eating too much. As if I nevertried to lose weight before. As if I haven’t ever dieted before. (Beat) I’m really hungry.I should be home, sipping a glass of white wine and having dinner. Beef ravioli withtomato cream sauce. Garlic bread. Caesar salad with lots of dressing. (Beat) But fat,middle-aged women don’t get promotions. We don’t make a good impression. (Intense)I deserve that promotion. There’s no one at work more qualified to be partner than me.(Angry) And it makes me crazy to think that it won’t be me because someone else whocan wear a size 10 suit makes a better impression around the table than I do. If I were aman, my weight wouldn’t matter. But I’m not, so here I am. Sitting on the mostuncomfortable plastic chair in the world at a meeting where all they talk about is food.What you eat for breakfast. What you eat for lunch. What you eat for dinner. What youdon’t eat for dinner. And I’ll be sitting here week after week until I lose enough weightto make a good impression. To show them that I’m worthy. That I’m lean, mean, andhungry.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Walks over to the podium and begins the meeting) Good evening, everyone. Let’s allwelcome the newest member of the pack, Promotion-Seeking Woman.

(Everyone except Freedom-Seeking Daughter claps. Promotion-Seeking Womanis embarrassed.)

Tonight we’re going to talk about a wonderful running program in town called Annie’sArmy. Annie’s Army is a valued Pound Predators ally in the War against Weight.


(BIG GIRL MODEL turns and grins at PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN whogrins back.)

But first let’s talk about your progress this week. How did you do?

BIG GIRL MODEL(Calls out) I had a really bad day this week. An important photo shoot fell through andon my way home I bought a tub of dip and a bag of potato chips and ate half the bag ofchips and half the dip in the car. Then I felt sick. Sick from eating all that dip and sickwith guilt. How do you stop feeling guilty when you’ve been bad?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERHow do you stop –

THE WISE WEIGHERYou tell yourself “I’ve had a lapse but I’m not going to have a total collapse.” That’swhat my other pack leader tells us.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Surprised) Your other pack leader?

THE WISE WEIGHERIt’s what you do next that’s important. You don’t give up. You don’t say, “Either I’m onthe program or I’m not” and then stop tracking what you’re eating. You don’t say, “It’sall or nothing.” And you don’t think you’re “good” because you stayed on program everyday this week and that you’re “bad” because you didn’t. After a lapse you tell yourself,“I’m getting better, I’m improving. Slowly but surely I’m getting slimmer. I’ve had alapse but I’m not going to have a total collapse.”

BIG GIRL MODEL(Thrilled) Thank you! That’s really helpful!

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Forceful, takes back control) Don’t forget to record the number of shots you used up onthe chips and dip. It’s like dealing with a credit card. When you’ve gone over your limit,you have to pay it back. If you don’t pay it back, the extra shots accumulate. Likeinterest.

WORRIED MOTHERHa!

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAnd then you gain back the weight you’ve lost.

WORRIED MOTHERIt’s like when a car consumes too much gas. No one wants a gas-guzzler.


FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERMa!

BIG GIRL MODELHey! That’s mean.

WORRIED MOTHER(Embarrassed) Sorry.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERLet’s go back to the idea of the credit card. And overspending our shots. One of the bestways to pay back the shots you’ve overspent is to exercise. Hands up if you thinkexercise is a dirty word?

(PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN sighs. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERwalks over and gets into PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN’s space.)

Well, we’re going to change that.(THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER is so close that PROMOTION-SEEKINGWOMAN has to turn away and look at the floor to retrieve some personal space.)

Exercise helps you reach your Goal Weight faster. By increasing the amount of activityyou do everyday you can earn bonus shots.

(PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN gets up and moves over to another seat. THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER walks back to the podium)

Exercise gives you more firepower in the War against Weight. I like to run becauserunning provides me with more firepower than anything else. And I run with Annie’sArmy. (Upbeat and aggressive) Annie’s Army is a group of determined women whochallenge themselves to do something that they never dreamed they could do. Run amarathon.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER and BIG GIRL MODEL laugh.)(Earnest) If you think it’s impossible for you to run 42Ks, I want you to think again!Here’s a picture of me and three of my platoon members crossing the finish line.

(She passes the photograph to WORRIED MOTHER.)Our program is designed for beginner as well as advanced runners. Training begins nextweek and it’s not too late to sign up. We train in platoons. Each platoon meets everySaturday at 6:00.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Incredulous) In the morning?

(WORRIED MOTHER passes the photograph to FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTHER.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADEROf course in the morning! We begin with a training talk and then we run! EverySaturday. Later in the week each platoon plans two more runs. We run three times aweek. Every week. Running in February and March isn’t easy! But the soldiers in


Annie’s Army support each other to meet their goals each week and have a lot of fun inthe process.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Looks at the photograph, sarcastic) Yeah, they look like they’re having a lot of fun.

WORRIED MOTHERSsshh.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Undaunted) Running is a life-style. A life-style that will keep you sharp and healthy andslim. (Beat) Running makes me high. Even when the first few Ks are a little hard, andI’m breathing heavily, and want to stop, I keep going. Because I know that by the time Ihit five Ks I’ll be flying. It won’t matter that it’s dark and cold outside. It won’t matterthat I’m feeling tired or blue. And it won’t matter that I’m hungry. When I hit five Ksthe endorphins will kick in and nothing else will matter but how great I feel. (Beat)Running feels as good as dancing. Almost.

(Lights fade.)

Scene 4: December

(Lights up. A PowerPoint slide is on the screen has the words WELCOME TOPOUND PREDATORS, DECEMBER and a large graphic of a lion. The women areseated in their seats and their winter coats and jackets are on the back of theirseats.)

WORRIED MOTHERWhat do you say to people when they tell you that you don’t have to lose weight? Lastweek when I told a friend that I joined Pound Predators to lose _____ pounds she said Ididn’t need to lose any weight9.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAh, a saboteur.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER______ 10pounds! You said you wanted to lose five, maybe seven.

WORRIED MOTHER(To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) I changed my goal. Now that I know I can doit, and I know how to do it, I want to lose more and fit into a size 8. (To THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) I’ve wanted to fit into a size 8 all my life.

9 The number of pounds the actor playing Worried Mother would have to lose to be a size8.10 The number of pounds the actor playing Worried Mother would have to lose to be asize 8.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERAnd now you can!

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWhat’s so special about being a size 8?

WORRIED MOTHERIt’s special. Trust me.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWhy? Will it make the world a better place? Will it make you a better person? Who careswhat size you are?

WORRIED MOTHERI do. I’ll feel better about myself as a size 8 and that will make me feel like a betterperson.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER rolls her eyes.)

WORRIED MOTHER(To THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) So what should I say?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERI’ll tell you what I say. I say: “You haven’t seen me naked!”

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWhat?!

WORRIED MOTHER(Laughs) That’s great.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Indignant) I think I look just fine naked.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(To BIG GIRL MODEL) I’m sure you do.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Grins at her) And so does my boyfriend.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANDoes he have a brother?


BIG GIRL MODEL(Laugh) No, only a sister. A big beautiful sassy sister who models with me. That’s howI met him.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANLucky you! But I’m not surprised. You’re very glamorous.

BIG GIRL MODELThanks. But it’s not about glamour as much as it is about style. Having a style of yourown. (To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) Like you. You definitely have a style ofyour own.

WORRIED MOTHERPlease! Don’t encourage her!

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Flushes with pleasure) Thanks.

(BIG GIRL MODEL winks at her.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Looks at her watch and takes back control) Well, that’s enough chitchat. It’s time tobegin. I want to begin with some good news. After several weeks in second place, wehave moved back into first place in the Pack of the Year competition!

(THE WISE WEIGHER, WORRIED MOTHER and BIG GIRL MODEL clap.)But keeping up our edge is going to be a challenge. Christmas is almost here, and formany of us, this is the time of year when we overindulge. This evening we’re going totalk about holding strong during the holidays. Who here overeats during the holidayseason?

(WORRIED MOTHER, BIG GIRL MODEL, and THE WISE WEIGHER raisetheir hands.)

Why?

WORRIED MOTHERBecause there are a lot of parties and a lot of food.

BIG GIRL MODELAnd because the food tastes so good.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER laughs.)Shortbread cookies.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Plays along) Maple walnut fudge.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANChristmas pudding soaked in rum.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Takes back control) With all this holiday food around, it’s easier to lose our will power.But how do you feel after overindulging?

THE WISE WEIGHERGuilty.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERGuilty! The pleasure we get from holiday eating is short-lived. So we need an arsenal ofstrategies to hold strong, be good and stay the course during the holiday season. What’sin your arsenal?

WORRIED MOTHERFinding a way to deal with leftovers.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER Dealing with leftovers.

WORRIED MOTHERLast night, there was a small piece of chocolate cake in the fridge left over from a dinnerparty I had over the weekend. I wanted to eat it, so I put it in the sink and turned the hotwater on. It disappeared. I was afraid to put it the garbage. In case I decided that Iwanted it after all.

(Everyone laughs except FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADEREliminating leftovers. An important strategy for holding strong during the holidays.What other –

(Blackout. Exclamations of surprise.)

BIG GIRL MODELMaybe it’s a fuse.

WORRIED MOTHERBut the laptop’s still working.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERIt’s on battery. I’ll go call security. There’s a phone just down the hall.

WORRIED MOTHERBe careful. The lights in the hall may be out too.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERI’ll be back in a minute.

(She exits and the stage is black again.)

THE WISE WEIGHER(Miserable) I have no willpower. I eat just to get through the day.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Sympathetic) There must be a lot going on right now.

THE WISE WEIGHERMy daughter’s pregnant with her second child and the doctor put her on bed rest. So I’vemoved in to help out. I get up at five thirty, start breakfast, and get my grandson ready forschool. Then I walk him to preschool and daycare, walk back, check on my daughter thengo to the hospital for my shift. There are always donuts and cookies at the nurses’station, and halfway through the shift I’m so hungry, that I can’t resist. I get home at fourthirty, check on my daughter, pick up my grandson, throw in some laundry, make dinnerand put my grandson to bed. By that time, I feel completely spent. So I turn on the TVand take out the family-sized chocolate bar I bought on the way home. I tell myself I’llonly have three squares. Then three turns into six and six turns into nine and before Irealize what I’ve done, I’ve eaten the whole bar. Thirty shots.

(WORRIED MOTHER gasps.)That’s my shot allowance for a day and a half.

WORRIED MOTHERIt sounds as if you’re out of control.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERMa!

THE WISE WEIGHER(Miserable) She’s right. I am out of control. Please, don’t say anything to THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER.

BIG GIRL MODELOf course we won’t. But you know, I don’t think it’s about being out of control. Or nothaving enough will power. (Beat, tentative) I think it’s about giving all the time. (Moreconfidently) Giving too much. You’re eating because you give and give and give untilyou have nothing left to give. Until you feel spent. That’s when you eat. You eat so thatyou can keep on giving.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN Isn’t there anyone else who can help your daughter out?


THE WISE WEIGHERNo.

BIG GIRL MODELWhat about your son-in-law?

THE WISE WEIGHERHe works long hours.

BIG GIRL MODELSo do you!

THE WISE WEIGHERBut I’m her mother. Mothers help out.

BIG GIRL MODELYou’re not helping out. You’re taking care of your daughter’s entire family. All byyourself. After working an entire shift everyday at the hospital taking care of sickpeople. No wonder you’re eating chocolate!

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANWhen’s your daughter due?

THE WISE WEIGHERJune.

WORRIED MOTHERJune! You need to start power planning. Otherwise you’ll blow up like a balloon.

BIG GIRL MODELAll the power planning in the world won’t help until there are more people around tohelp. It’s about sustenance. To get through the day.

(A new PowerPoint slide appears on the screen to begin scene 5. It has the wordsWELCOME TO POUND PREDATORS, JANUARY and a large graphic of a wild boarwith tusks on it.)

Scene 5: January

(Lights up on the meeting room. Everyone except BIG GIRL MODEL is seated intheir usual seats with winter coats hanging from the back of their seats. THEAWARD-WINNING LEADER is studying at FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER’s’ weight-loss booklet at the podium. BIG GIRL MODEL is on thescale.)


THE WISE WEIGHER _____11

(BIG GIRL MODEL gets off the scale.)

THE WISE WEIGHER(Writing down BIG GIRL MODEL’s weight) _____12. That’s another five pounds. For atotal of twenty pounds! Congratulations! You hit another milestone! THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER will be thrilled.

(Spotlight on BIG GIRL MODEL who turns around to face the audience.)

BIG GIRL MODELTwenty pounds wasn’t enough. It was enough to fit into a _____ but not an _____13 Theyterminated my contract. I decided to stop into Big and Beautiful and buy some newlingerie. The escalator in the mall wasn’t working and I had to walk up three flights ofstairs. (Beat) I can’t remember the last time I walked up that many stairs without havingto stop to catch my breath. I felt fantastic. Twenty pounds isn’t enough for the catwalk,but it’s enough for three flights of stairs. The agency told me to come back when I’ve lostthe rest of my weight. But I’m not going back. Today they want me to be a size _____14.Tomorrow, it might be a _____15. And then down the road, a _____16. Who knows whatwill be too big tomorrow? I’ve decided to start my own agency. I’m going to call itVoluptuous and it will feature models from size 18 to 30. I’m moving up.

THE WISE WEIGHERYou’re not the only one who hit a milestone tonight. Freedom-Seeking Daughter reachedgoal!

BIG GIRL MODEL Really?! I should go congratulate her.

THE WISE WEIGHERThe Award-Winning Leader’s so pleased. (Secretive) Over the holidays, we slipped backinto third place and she’s very nervous we won’t win Pack of the Year.

BIG GIRL MODELI bet. See you later.

11 A weight that is 20 pounds less than Big Girl Model’s weight in September.12 A weight that is 20 pounds less than Big Girl Model’s weight was in September.13 A clothes size that is one size bigger than Big Girl Model’s goal size and Big GirlModel’s goal size.14 Big Girl Model’s goal size.15 One size smaller than Big Girl Model’s goal size.16 Two sizes smaller than Big Girl Model’s goal size.


(BIG GIRL MODEL slips on her boots and walks over to her seat. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER walks over to FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER andWORRIED MOTHER.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) Twenty-one pounds. Well done! Now you’reready for Maintenance. What have you decided? Stay at this Goal Weight or changeyour Goal Weight and lose some more?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER/ WORRIED MOTHER(At same time) Stay/Lose.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWhat?!

WORRIED MOTHERNow that you know that you can do it and you know how to do it, you don’t have to stopat a size 12. You can be a size 10.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Angry) I don’t want to be a size 10. I don’t want to come here any –

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERLet’s talk about this.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER gets up, grabs her coat and heads towardsthe door.)

WORRIED MOTHERWhat are you doing?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERLeaving.

WORRIED MOTHER(Stands up and calls after her) No. Just wait –

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER walks out the door leaving her knapsackbehind.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Confident) She’ll be back.

WORRIED MOTHERI don’t think so. (Stands up and picks up her coat) I better go after her.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERShe forgot her knapsack.

WORRIED MOTHEROh. (She bends down to pick up the knapsack.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERNo. Leave it.

WORRIED MOTHERWhat?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERMake her come back for it.

BIG GIRL MODEL(To WORRIED MOTHER) No, take it and go after her.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERLeave it. When she comes back, we’ll talk it out together.

BIG GIRL MODELI don’t think she wants to talk.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(To WORRIED MOTHER) Trust me.

(WORRIED MOTHER puts the knapsack on FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER’s chair beside her and sits down. She puts her coat on the otherchair.)

I just don’t want her to limit herself. Once people learn that they can lose weight, manyof them change the Goal Weight they chose at their first meeting. They go lower. That’swhat happened to me. At first I chose a Weight Goal that was at the middle of the weightrange that was right for me. But when I reached that goal, I changed it. To a weight atthe bottom range. And I’ve maintained that weight for four years.

BIG GIRL MODELBut it’s fine to be at the top, right?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWell—

THE WISE WEIGHER(Calls out) Sometimes it’s better to be at the top. I think my problem is that my GoalWeight is too low. I’m not going to reach it.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERBut most people do. They maintain a lower weight and enjoy being one or two sizessmaller.

BIG GIRL MODELBut there’s nothing wrong with choosing a goal weight at the top of the range. It’s still ahealthy goal weight.

THE WISE WEIGHERYes, of course.

BIG GIRL MODELGood.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Annoyed, aggressive) But you shouldn’t underestimate yourself. What you’re capableof. Remember, the members of Pack 596 have lost more weight than the members of anyother pack in the region. Two years in a row!

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER still angry, hurries through the door, picksup her knapsack and tries to leave again, but THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERstanding at the doorway, blocks her way.)

Why don’t you sit down?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERI don’t want to sit down. I’m leaving

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Doesn’t move) And I want you to sit down. So we can talk.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERI don’t want to talk. I want to leave.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER tries to pass THE AWARD-WINNINGLEADER who continues to block her way. In frustration FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER throws her knapsack onto the floor.)

WORRIED MOTHER(Hurries over to the door) What’s gotten into you?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Furious) What’s gotten into me? What’s gotten into you?

WORRIED MOTHERWhat do you –


FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERWe made a deal. Six months. It’s been six months. It’s been more than six months. Ireached my Goal. I lost over twenty pounds. That’s it. I’m not losing any more. I’moutta here.

(She grabs her knapsack and tries to push THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER outof the way. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER is surprisingly strong andcontinues to block the doorway.)

BIG GIRL MODEL(To THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) Let her go. She’s made up her mind.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Icy) No. We’re going to talk this over.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER throws her hands up in the air in mockdefeat, and then crosses them across her chest.)

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(To WORRIED MOTHER) So talk.

WORRIED MOTHERLook. If you can lose twenty pounds, you can lose thirty. You can be whatever size youwant. (To THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) Tell her. Tell her she can be a size ten.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADEROf course you can be a size ten. Now that you know how –

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Shouts) I don’t want to be a size ten.

WORRIED MOTHERDon’t be crazy. If you’re a size ten you can shop anywhere you want. Buy anything youwant. You don’t have to stand looking in a mirror at Jean Junction with your stomachhanging over the pair of jeans you’re trying on and the sales girl smirking and shakingher head saying “We don’t carry anything bigger than an XL, maybe you should try Bigand Beautiful one floor – ”

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERMa! I’ve never been to Jean Junction. I’ve never even heard of Jean Junction.

THE WISE WEIGHERThat’s where I shopped when I was in high school.


FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERMa, that never happened to me. (Beat) Did that happen to you?

(WORRIED MOTHER doesn’t respond.)How humiliating. I hope you complained to the manager.

(WORRIED MOTHER doesn’t respond.)You didn’t complain? Why didn’t you complain?

WORRIED MOTHERIn those days, we didn’t complain.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTEROf course not. You were the perfect daughter. Always polite. Always gracious. Alwayshelpful. Always –

WORRIED MOTHERFat. Always alone. Always unhappy.

(FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER is surprised.)

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Picks up her knapsack) C’mon Ma. Let’s go.

WORRIED MOTHERAll right. (To THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) I’ll see you next week.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Looks at her watch and takes back control) It’s very late. My apologies. Let’s begin.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANBefore you start, I have a question.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYes, of course. What is it?

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANIt’s about all this talk about reaching a healthy weight. I’ve been looking at the numbersof your healthy weight range. And even the top of the range is quite low. To me, it lookslike becoming healthy means becoming thin. Even if I reach the top end of the range, Idon’t think I’m going to be able maintain it. (To THE WISE WEIGHER) What do youthink? Is that why you put all your weight back on? Because you couldn’t maintain theweight at the top of the range?

THE WISE WEIGHER(Quiet) Maybe.


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat?! No, that’s not right at all. Our range is actually very wide. There’s no way thatbeing at the top of the range could ever be considered being too low! It’s as high as youshould be if you want to stay healthy.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANSays who?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERThe medical and nutritional people at Pound Predators who designed it!

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANThe same people who want us to come week after week, pay their meeting fees and buytheir snacks?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Angry) Look, the Pound Predator range is based on the body mass index. That index isrecognized by doctors worldwide. If you don’t believe me, ask your doctor! (Beat) Youknow, there are some people who just aren’t ready to start the program yet. They’re indenial and refuse to accept that they might have a problem with their weight. Maybeyou’re not in the right headspace to begin changing what you eat and how you move.

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN(Angry) How I move? You have no idea about how I move. I play hockey three times aweek. And during shinny I’m up and down that ice for the entire hour without a break. Imay be big, but I’m fit and strong and fast. My problem isn’t that I’m in denial! Myproblem is that the partners in my law firm don’t like big women like me. They thinkwomen like me are undisciplined. Otherwise, we’d lose weight. (Beat, an AHA moment)But you know, what? I don’t need to be here. I need to find another law firm to work in.One that isn’t fatphobic.

(Lights fade.)

Scene 6: February

(Lights up on the meeting room. A PowerPoint slide is on the screen with thewords WELCOME TO POUND PREDATORS, FEBRUARY and a large graphic of arattlesnake on it. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER at the weigh-in table.ROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN and FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER havenot come back to the meeting. WORRIED MOTHER sits in the front row talkingto BIG GIRL MODEL. WORRIED MOTHER is wearing her coat while BIGGIRL MODEL’S coat is on the back of her chairs.)

WORRIED MOTHERAnd then she said it was her body and her choice.


BIG GIRL MODELHow can you argue with that?

WORRIED MOTHERI couldn’t. So I made a deal with her. Another one. I won’t criticize her choices if shedoesn’t criticize mine. I still want to go down to one twenty so I can fit into a size 8.(Reaches into her coat pocket and puts on her gloves) It’s cold in here tonight. Aren’tyou cold?

BIG GIRL MODELNo, I’m fine. So is she coming back to do maintenance?

WORRIED MOTHER(Shakes her head) No.

BIG GIRL MODELWell, she’s not the only one. Promotion-Seeking Woman isn’t here tonight either. Shehad huge argument with the Award-Winning Leader.

WORRIED MOTHERReally! I guess she wasn’t ready to start the program.

BIG GIRL MODELI don’t know. Maybe it really is the law firm’s problem, not hers.

WORRIED MOTHERBut look at how big she was! That can’t be healthy!

BIG GIRL MODELWhat’s too big? What’s too thin? What’s healthy? What’s not? It’s hard to know. I’llknow that I’m healthy and I’ve lost enough when I no longer have any signs of diabetes.That’s what keeps me here. But as far as my actual weight goes? Is any one number onthe scale so much healthier than another?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Calls out) I’m ready for you now, Ladies.

(BIG GIRL MODEL and WORRIED MOTHER go up to the scale. BIG GIRLMODEL takes off her boots and gets on first.)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER _____17

17 Four pounds more than Big Girl Model’s weight in scene 5.


BIG GIRL MODEL_____18?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Writes down the amount and hands back the booklet) You’re up four pounds. Maybeit’s because you missed a few meetings.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Steps off the scale, very disappointed) I was out of town.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYou know, we have meetings all over the country.

BIG GIRL MODELI know. But I didn’t have the time for a meeting on this trip.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYou need to make meetings a priority if you want to keep losing. How about exercise?Did you find time to move?

BIG GIRL MODELI tried, but I guess I didn’t walk as much as I usually do.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWell, the weight gain should come off when you start moving again. If you’re good and–

BIG GIRL MODELI really don’t think it’s about being good. Hey, where’s The Wise Weigher tonight?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERShe’s no longer an assistant in our pack.

BIG GIRL MODELWhat? How come?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERIt wasn’t working out.

BIG GIRL MODELWhy not?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERShe wasn’t making the progress I expect my pack assistants to make.

18 Four pounds more than Big Girl Model’s weight in scene 5.


BIG GIRL MODELSo you fired her?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERShe’s joined another pack. One that’s been eliminated from the Pack of the Yearcompetition.

BIG GIRL MODELWhen did she leave?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERTwo weeks ago. It’s been a while since you’ve here.

WORRIED MOTHER(To BIG GIRL MODEL and THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER) Are you done?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYes. Step on up.

(At first, BIG GIRL MODEL doesn’t move, then she steps away from the scale,puts on her boots and walks over to her usual seat.)

(To WORRIED MOTHER) How are you tonight?

WORRIED MOTHER(Takes off her gloves and then her coat revealing the bright pink Annie’s Army outfitshe’s wearing) Okay. (Beat) Actually, I’m a little tired. And cold! It’s so cold in here!

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYou’ll feel better after your run tonight.

WORRIED MOTHERI hope so.

(She steps on the scale. .)

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER _____19.

WORRIED MOTHERWhat?! Still? That’s the same weight I’ve been for the last two months.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYou’ve hit a plateau.

19 The approximate weight of the actor playing Worried Mother.


WORRIED MOTHERI hit that plateau eight weeks ago! You said the running would help me shift the plateau.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERIt will. You just have to persevere. Shifting a plateau takes time. The closer you get toyour goal weight, the harder it is to lose. (Looks at her watch.) We’ll talk some morelater. I need to take a quick look at my notes before tonight’s talk.

(WORRIED MOTHER steps off the scale.)

WORRIED MOTHEROh. Okay.

(WORRIED MOTHER puts on her boots, picks up her coat and walks over to herusual seat. THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER walks over to her podium andreviews her notes.)

(To BIG GIRL MODEL) I’m exactly the same as last week.

BIG GIRL MODELWell, that’s better than being up four pounds. (Beat) Cute outfit.

WORRIED MOTHER(Puts on her coat) I’m glad you think so. It was expensive.

BIG GIRL MODELBrand-name clothes always are.

(WORRIED MOTHER begins to sway.)Hey! Are you alright?

WORRIED MOTHERI think I better sit down.

BIG GIRL MODELMaybe you need something to eat. (Reaches in her pocket) Here have some rawalmonds. That will help.

WORRIED MOTHER(Takes the almonds and begins eating) Thanks. I wasn’t going to eat until after my run.But I guess I need a little something now.

BIG GIRL MODELYou should also drink some water. Maybe you’re dehydrated.

WORRIED MOTHERGood idea.


(She reaches into her coat pocket, pulls out a small bottle of water and drinks.)

BIG GIRL MODELSo how’s the running going? Have you experienced that endorphin rush yet?

WORRIED MOTHERNo. (Secretive) To tell you the truth, I don’t like it all that much. In fact, I hate it. And Ican’t stand all that army talk. “Pick up the pace Private”. “Keep up with the pack”.

BIG GIRL MODELSo stop going.

WORRIED MOTHEROh, I’m not a quitter.

BIG GIRL MODELIt’s not about being a quitter. It’s about finding an activity that you like to do.

WORRIED MOTHERIf I don’t keep running, I’ll never shift the plateau. I still have eight pounds to lose.

BIG GIRL MODELMaybe your body’s telling you that you’ve gone as low as you can. This is the weightyou need to be.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERWhat’s that?

(Neither WORRIED MOTHER or BIG GIRL MODEL respond.)Talk to me. What’s up?

WORRIED MOTHERWe’re discussing whether or not I set my Goal Weight too low. I haven’t lost any weightfor two months.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYou can’t let a plateau get you down. If you persevere, it will pass. What’s important isto not give up. (Passionate) Never, never, never, never give up.

BIG GIRL MODELBut maybe her new Goal Weight is too low. Maybe —

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Mean) That’s sabotage talk.

BIG GIRL MODEL


What?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERSabotage talk from saboteurs belittles what we’re trying to achieve.

BIG GIRL MODELWait a minute! Just because –

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Aggressive) You know what we need to do about saboteurs? We need to fight back. Weneed to remind ourselves: We know that we can lose weight. We know how to loseweight. We can be any weight we want to be. (Beat. Tries to lighten up) My aunt Estellealways said, “You can never be too thin or too rich.”

(Neither WORRIED MOTHER or BIG GIRL model laughs.)

BIG GIRL MODELIf you can never be too thin, how do you know when you’ve lost enough? What’senough when it’s never enough?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Pause, then earnest) You’ll know. You’ll know by how good you finally feel about howyou look.

BIG GIRL MODELI already feel good about the way I look.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADEREven when you’re naked?

(She laughs gaily, expected the others to laugh with her. They don’t.)

BIG GIRL MODEL(Stares at the leader) Yes. (Beat) What pack is The Wise Weigher working with now?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERI don’t know. You’ll have to call Pound Predators Headquarters.

BIG GIRL MODELIt’s time for me to change meetings.

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERSo you’ve already heard my news.

BIG GIRL MODELNo. What news?


THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER I’ve been asked to lead another Pound Predators Pack. We’re closing down this meeting.

WORRIED MOTHER(Upset) What?! Where are you going?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERThe pack at Annie’s Army.

BIG GIRL MODEL(Sarcastic) Why? Are they in first place?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADER(Serious) Second.

BIG GIRL MODELAnd what place are we in?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADEREleventh.

WORRIED MOTHERSo you’re leaving us for them?

THE AWARD-WINNING LEADERYes. But I want you to come with me.

(Lights fade.)

Scene 7: April

(Lights up. The audience watches as the Pound Predators meeting room istransformed to host BIG GIRL MODEL’s spring fashion show. There’s aPowerPoint slide projected on the screen that has the words THE FIRSTVOLUPTUOUS SPRING FASHION SHOW and a stylized graphic of a full-figuredwoman with generous curves on it. WORRIED MOTHER, FREEDOM-SEEKINGDAUGHTER, THE WISE WEIGHER and PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMAN arein the audience. FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER still dresses in secondhand clothes but no longer has a Goth-lite look. She now dresses a little butchand has short hair.)

(BIG GIRL MODEL, dressed in a glamorous spring outfit and high heels, entersand greets WORRIED MOTHER and FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER.)


BIG GIRL MODELHello, hello! Thanks for coming! (To FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER) Long time,no see. You look great.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Grins) So do you.

WORRIED MOTHERWhat do you think of her new look?

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Warning) Ma …

BIG GIRL MODELIt suits her.

WORRIED MOTHERI don’t like her hair. It’s too short.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTERYou’ll get used to it.

WORRIED MOTHERMmm.

BIG GIRL MODELYou definitely have a flare for putting things together.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Very pleased) You think?

BIG GIRL MODELI do.

WORRIED MOTHER(Proud) She got a part-time job at that second hand clothes store she spends everyweekend in. There are customers who only come in when she’s working. They knowshe can help them put together a really great outfit.

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Embarrassed) Ma!

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANGood for you!


BIG GIRL MODELYou have your own clientele! How great is that? (To WORRIED MOTHER) And tellme, how are you? How’s it going at the Army meeting?

WORRIED MOTHERI’ve stopped going.

BIG GIRL MODELWhat?!

WORRIED MOTHERI decided to change my Goal Weight. You were right. It was unrealistic. The last set ofpounds just wouldn’t come off. So I decided, this is it. But I still need to find a place togo on maintenance.

THE WISE WEIGHERCome to our meeting! Pack 503. Our meeting schedule is on the Pound Predatorwebsite.

WORRIED MOTHERI’ll check it out. How are things going for you? Any easier?

THE WISE WEIGHER(Noncommittal) I’m hanging in there. Some weeks are better than others.

BIG GIRL MODELSlow but sure.

(Lights fade and a spotlight comes up on BIG GIRL MODEL.)Slow but sure. That’s our motto: Slow but sure. It takes time to turn things around. It’snot a motto that’s going to win us any awards. But it’s a motto we can live with. It’s amotto that leaves room for Godiva chocolate once in a while. (Sassy) A girl can’t live bytinned fruit alone.

(The spotlight fades. BIG GIRL MODEL looks at her watch.)(To the women) Time to begin. Enjoy the show!

PROMOTION-SEEKING WOMANWe will! Good luck!

(BIG GIRL MODEL walks up to the podium.)

FREEDOM-SEEKING DAUGHTER(Admiring) She’s so glam! And sexy!

WORRIED MOTHERMmm. (To THE WISE WEIGHER) I think she has a little crush on her.


THE WISE WEIGHER(Grins) I have a little crush on her myself.

(Lights fade as BIG GIRL MODEL reaches the podium and the sound of showmusic fills the stage. A spot light shines on BIG GIRL MODEL at the podium.)

BIG GIRL MODELGood evening everyone and welcome to the Voluptuous Spring Fashion Show! Thefashion event of the season where big is always beautiful!

(The women all applaud. The spotlight fades.)

End of play

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