portfolio essay 3rd draft

7/30/2019 Portfolio Essay 3rd Draft

1/7

Angelica Rose Brown

Porfolio Essay

4/23/13

This class has more than established me as an enhanced writer with a better foundation

of what an argumentative essay or reflection essay is, this class has truly changed my life for the

better! Upon arriving the first day for this class I was very nervous especially when Ms.Ingram

stated we would have a cinematic theme for the class and the theme was What does it mean

to be healthy? I took the bull by the horns that day thinking of different topics I could research

and different perspectives and arguments for and against the topics I contemplated studying.

Nervous as I was, I felt more assured as the course continued and did not just write certain

essays such as the WILTBY essay or the midterm by the rubric but truly self-focused and put

that sense of self-direction into my writing. From my point of view the best way to put it, I

learned how to not be afraid of who I truly am on the inside but to truly embrace myself as a

person and as a writer especially when it comes to essays about ourselves or argumentative

essays. No I did not create a mirror but I did find one and turned it at angle to where I could

truly see my reflection, flaws and all in a literal sense and figuratively and so could my audience.

One of my most favorite essays we wrote in class was the WILTBY essay and at first I was

very apprehensive after learning that is was a reflection essay of ourselves. I do have a bit of

social anxiety when it comes to opening up to people so I thought this would be an assignment I

would hate but it turned out to be my favorite one. I completed the essay about a day after the

assignment was given and I received feedback both from my peers through peer workshop,


2/7

Ms.Ingram, and the writing center here at UNC-Charlotte. I paid attention to everything

suggested of me especially when Ms.Ingram put in writing that I should fix my grammar,

elaborate more on who Rose is today at the end of my WILTBY essay, and also that I should title

it. I also paid attention to my peers ideas to be more detailed in the things such as name calling

I was referring to, they suggested I actually state some of the names in which I did state several

if not all of them. Last but not least I attended the writing center the day before the portfolio

was due and the consultant Ellen that helped me with revision made the following summary

Angelica brought in a paper about herself. We read through the paper and discussed a few

grammatical/mechanical issues. After getting through the majority of the paper's body,

Angelica took over reading so that I could better hear the voice of her poem. We discussed

how to use white space as a way to delineate between stanzas and as a way to acknowledge a

turn in the poem. After hearing all of Ellens recommendations I went to work revising and

again proofreading my work.

I think this is possibly the WILTBY Essay I worked the most strenuously on because it

has always been a struggle for me to open up to people in person and on paper. This

assignment has helped me grow literally in that I am not only a better writer of reflective essays

but I also feel like I have gained a lot of intellectual growth and maturity. This assignment has

truly helped me grow in and out of class tremendously.

The next assignment I found the most vigorous but rewarding would definitely be the

Argumentative Research essay on which I wrote the Side Effects of Hip-Hop Music. I found the


3/7

topic very intriguing and something I could relate too so this was another assignment I got done

in a very timely manner. When I brung the paper to one of the peer workshops I was

disappointed because there seemed to be so much information I was either missing or I had too

much information on some topics in my paper. Although the peer workshop found many things

wrong it did not hinder me with my paper but helped it develop exponentially. It helped me

grow because not only did I receive feedback I also gave feedback to my peers and in doing this

I gained a better understanding on how to make my tone, syntax, and diction superior. After

attending the peer workshop, I attended conferences in Ms.Ingrams office and this helped me

because she pointed out who my audiences of my paper were so I could not only appeal more t

them but also include them in my paper. Ms.Ingram also helped me by not only pointing out my

run-on sentences but also pointing out how to shorten them in length but keep the

effectiveness of the statement or argument I am trying to present. Last but not least she

assisted me in the fact that not only would my paper be more appealing with examples of lyrics

but it would also help me frame my arguments throughout the paper.

Another form of assistance in proofreading and revision of my Argumentative Essay I

sought out was the Writing Center and I was able to work with a consultant by the name of

Ellen. Ellen read my 2nd

draft and stated the following summary Angelica brought in her

research paper on the effects of Hip-Hop in the lives of the listener. While reading through we

discussed her instructor's comments, conducted research for examples in lyrics, and worked

with her syntax/grammar to both vary sentence structures and clarify any ambiguous areas.

Angelica worked on the computer, but offered me a hard copy of her paper so that I could

make comments on the paper while she made changes. This way, Angelica could take her


4/7

comments with her and ensure that they are incorporated in her entire paper. I took

everything Ellen said and put it into play by constructing my use of syntax in my essay a lot

stronger since it truly acts as a foundation for my essay; I also took what she suggested, and

advised I do, and made my grammar more spotless and in doing this I gained a better use of

diction.

With all this help from my peers, Ms.Ingram, and the Writing Center I was able to not

only make an improved 3rd

draft of my Argumentative Research essay but truly learned the

importance of the writing process and revision as well as giving and receiving feedback. By not

only receiving feedback I benefited because when I gave it to my peers not only were they able

to suggest something new I never considered but what I told them made me consider things I

never thought to consider such as diction and tone. This assignment truly aided me in that now

I can not only say I am a fan of rap music but I know how it truly affect a person spiritually,

mentally, emotionally, sexually, and physically.

The next topic I will address will not be an essay but the assignment of the blog post. I

found all the assignments of blog post to be invigorating, eye opening, and insightful! The

assignments of the blog post definitely helped me gain many of the key concepts in class such

as risk taking (Post # 6 the required responsive reading ofInnovation: Five Keys to Educating

the Next Generation of Leaders specifically his leadership and authenticity pieces), intellectual

growth and maturity as well as independent inquiry (Post #2 What can you take away from

your experience with Peace Butter & Jelly? Even if this book isn't quite your "cup of tea," what

value can you find in it? (Perhaps you gleaned some interesting inquiry questions from it, or it

prompted you to think about your family or your personal legacy), and critical thinking (Post


5/7

#4 Who is involved in the academic conversation you're eavesdropping on? What groups of

people are interested in your topic and are talking about it? How are they answering the inquiry

question you've posed? Why are they so invested in your topic? Define and explain at least 3

invested people/groups of people? I thoroughly enjoyed all of the blog post and think they are

useful.

Next I will discourse the Annotated Bibliography I found this assignment to be very

helpful but I truly resented this assignment. It helped aide me in making a foundation for most

of my arguments in the paper but at the same time it was stressful to try to find data specific to

my arguments especially positive data. With my entire thesis of my paper being the side effects

of Hip-Hop music almost everything that came up was negative, even when I went to the library

to look at books almost everything I found in the card catalog and just by strolling around the

library was negative. The peer workshops enormously helped with this assignment, I truly do

not know what I would have done without their feedback. Conferencing in the classroom with

Ms.Ingram also helped since he pointed out some minor problems in my citations that were

then corrected and further proofread by my peers. I strongly suggest that an Annotated

Bibliography be required of all students at least once in their college career I found it both

obliging and enlightening.

Last but not least but the required reading of Peace Butter and Jelly by David Mark

Seidel and his visit was very educational and also inspirational. I loved him as a person and as

an author, his poems were calming and soothing, and his pieces about his son and wife were

very heart warming. From my perspective he aided the class in explaining the importance of

self-reflection and this truly came in handy when we were writing reflective essays such as the


6/7

Portfolio Essay or the WILTBY essay. He especially aided in the WILTBY essay because he taught

the class the importance of finding out own peace and happiness and no matter what staying

true to ourselves. Davids visit and book were also inspirational in that I now look at him as a

role model, because he does not conform, he does not settle, David is an ambitious man who

goes after what he wants both spiritually and physically both enthusiastically but with a

humbleness that everyone around him has no choice but to admire and respect.

I found this English 1102 class to be very informative, magical, and amazing. I would not

change anything about this course. I feel as though the grade I may have earned in this course

would be a grade between 92-95 range and on my portfolio I feel I have earned the grade of a

93 or 94. I feel I have earned this grade in the course because portfolio is complete,

thoughtfully arranged and easily navigable; all work is completed to the best of the writers

ability; the writer can thoughtfully and thoroughly discuss his/her engagement with *key

concepts and can clearly explain and illustrate his/her growth as a writer. I also included

examples of all the following key concepts which are critical thinking, independent inquiry,

responsibility for one's own learning, curiosity, risk-taking, the writing process and revision,

providing and receiving feedback, and intellectual growth and maturity. I feel I have worked

hard in this course and it definitely shows in my portfolio especially in my final drafts of every

assignment as well as the organization of my E-Portfolio. My work truly speaks for itself and I

feel based off of the following of key concepts, the organization, continuously having a

captivating tone, good use of diction, great syntax through most of the portfolio, meeting all

requirements, and still including individuality in it; I included individuality illustrations not just

on the homepage but every page has some type of theme and the quotes at the top of the page


7/7

are there for the audience to get a glimpse of who I am as a person and as a writer. I feel all

these things and more add as an additional evidence of why I have earned the grade of a 93 or

94 on the Final E-Portfolio.

portfolio essay 3rd draft

Documents