Ponderables

Can you cry under water?

When we were young we used to go "skinny

dipping," now we just “chunky dunk.”

How important does a person have to be before

they are considered assassinated instead of

just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that

extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck

wearing the clothes you were buried in for

eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we

figured out it would be a good idea

to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies

wakeup like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still

called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the

ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for

Miss America?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does

he/she call?

I signed up for an exercise class and was

told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I

wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete'

and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't

fallen asleep yet.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat

cells liveforever.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be

delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,

tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If a dog has ticks, is it considered a watch dog?

OK, so what is the speed of dark?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do

"practice"?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Early bird gets the worm, but the second

mouse gets the cheese.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

The last word is never the last word.

Blessed are they who expect nothing. For they shall not be

disappointed.

Did bald eagles ever have hair?

If 7-11 is open 24hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there

locks on the doors?

Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?

What is another word for “thesaurus”?

Why does your nose “run” and your feet “smell”?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not

move 10 miles away?

Why are there Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Where does the fat go when someone loses 30 lbs?

How can someone “draw a blank”?

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?